


Ageless

by gin_no_bara



Category: Diabolik Lovers
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Begging, Biting, Blood, Blood Drinking, Bondage, Captivity, Chains, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Choking, Claiming, Claiming Bites, Control, Control Issues, Coping, Cruelty, Dark, Dom/sub Undertones, Dominance, Dreams, Dreamsharing, Dungeon, Dysfunctional Family, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Roller Coaster, Emotional Sex, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotionally Repressed, Emotions, F/M, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Fear, Forced, Heavy Angst, It's not as kinky as it sounds, Jealousy, Kidnapping, Lima Syndrome, Magic/Spells, Master/Pet, Memories, Mental Anguish, Mental Instability, Mind Control, Mind Games, Mindfuck, Mommy Issues, Multi, Non-Consensual Bondage, Ownership, Pain, Panic, Panic Attacks, Parent/Child Incest, Past Incest, Physical Abuse, Possession, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Power Dynamics, Power Imbalance, Predator/Prey, Psychological Trauma, Psychology, Punishment, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sadism, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Sexual Violence, Stockholm Syndrome, Suicide Attempt, Supernatural Illnesses, Suspense, Telepathy, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, Torture, Torture Chamber, Trauma, Twisted, Twisted relationships, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Vampire Bites, Vampires, Victim Blaming, Whipping, marriage issues, themes are psychological emotional
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-06 13:07:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 45
Words: 192,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6755272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gin_no_bara/pseuds/gin_no_bara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sayuri isn't a normal sacrificial bride, and neither she nor the brothers expected the effects they would have on one another.</p><p>Not a romance. Please heed the tags for dark themes, violence, and sexual content. This story deals with complex psychological trauma and is not intended for anyone underage. 18+ only please. </p><p>Also, you don't have to be familiar with the series to read this fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tuesday

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [In The Shadows](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5507105) by [Whorcrux_x_x](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whorcrux_x_x/pseuds/Whorcrux_x_x). 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Diabolik Lovers belongs to Rejet and I own no part of it. This is a fan fic for my own personal enjoyment. However, I do own my oc, Sayuri as well as any other original characters. I also own any ideas that aren't canon.

 

* * *

 

"Age has no reality except in the physical world. The essence of a human being is resistant to the passage of time."

  -  Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Love in the Time of Cholera

 

* * *

 

 

With an exhausted sigh, I looked at the time. The clock was ever so slowly ticking towards six pm. Another thirty minutes and I could go home and crawl into my precious bed.

Turning from the clock, I stood up, gingerly stretching my aching joints. My eyes wandered sleepily, gazing at the rain through the front window of my mother's flower shop.

My mother worked here every day but Tuesday. On that day, she asked me to tend the shop. I didn't have to do much, not really. Business during the week was usually slow, aside from holidays like Valentine's Day. So most Tuesdays, I could watch tv in the back while I struggled to make it through the day.

Today was one of those days. It had been raining nonstop, and no one wants to shop for flowers in the rain.

Needing a pick-me-up to slog through the last half hour, I grabbed a Pepsi from the mini-fridge. Rain made me even more sleepy than usual. The soft pitter-patter and the dark clouds blocking out the sun lulled me to sleep better than any sleeping pill. Not that I needed a sleeping pill to fall asleep these days. I could fall asleep anywhere at anytime.

I opened the bottle of soda and drank eagerly, a little _too_ eagerly. Clumsy in my drowsiness, a line of liquid streamed out of the corner of my mouth. My hand flew across my chin to catch it, but I was far too slow.

"Damn it," I groaned.

An ugly, brown dribble formed on the white fabric of my favorite summer dress.

Such a simple thing, but I wanted to cry. There weren't many things left in my life that were simple, or even just _normal_. Wearing my favorite dress was one of those things. The strapless piece of clothing wasn't just something to wear to work; for me, it represented the fun, free-spirited person I used to be, before my life had been ravaged by a mysterious illness.

Now I spent most of my days wearing pajamas, wasting away under a mound of blankets.

I tore my sweater off my shoulders and ran some water on a paper towel in the bathroom, scrubbing the stain on my chest vigorously. I sighed with relief as the blotch began to fade.

Slipping my sweater back on my thin, bare shoulders, I paused at my appearance in the mirror. I had always been tiny and petite at barely five foot, two inches tall. But now I was well under 100 pounds and still losing weight. I looked as if I would blow away at the slightest gust of wind. My face had the paleness of white porcelain when once it had been tanned from my constant life outdoors. My nearly waist-length hair still had its red shades of deep auburn, but it had lost its luster and shine. My eyes too, once sparkling blue with playfulness and energy, were dulled and almost lifeless.

I barely recognized myself anymore.

However, people coming into the flower shop would never know any different. To them, I was just a teenager working for some extra cash.

They would never guess I was a woman in her _thirties_.

Because -- despite my illness -- I somehow looked nearly twenty years younger than I was. 

I had assumed my sickened body would finally catch me up to my friends, who were starting to sprout wrinkles and a few stray grey hairs. But if anything, I looked even younger since I'd lost weight.

But it wasn't just my appearance; I also had a stoicism that kept my illness hidden, an inner strength that helped me pretend I was still myself. Even though I often dreaded it, Tuesday was still the one day of the week I was determined to throw off my pajamas for the entire day. I held onto that day, no matter how difficult. It was the only time I could pretend that I was normal, that I didn't have some unexplained illness ever-so-slowly wrecking my life. On Tuesdays, I could put makeup on and wear my best clothes; I could plaster a smile on my face, and the world would never see the anguish masked inside my body.

For just that one day I would just be a normal working woman.

 _And a mother_.

Yes -- somehow through this illness, I still managed to be a mother.

At the thought of my six-year-old son, the phone rang, as if he had thought of me as well. Darting out of the bathroom, I grabbed my ringing cell phone off the cashier's counter, knowing it would be him. 

"Hello, honey," I said, smiling at his small voice. Somehow it always sounded cuter on the phone.

Akio called every Tuesday evening as soon as he noticed the sun was setting. He wanted to make sure I would be coming home soon. Sometimes I wondered if he was afraid I wouldn't come back after work, like his father.

After plenty of reassurances that I would indeed be home within the hour, I hung up the phone, my heart wrenching in my chest. It wasn't fair. He didn't deserve a thirty-five-year-old mother who looked like a little girl, but had a body like a decrepit old man. I was thankful that my own mother had stepped in to help, after my husband -- or rather, soon to be _ex_ -husband -- had left. But I wanted so much more for Akio. He was a sweet boy who managed the challenge of having a sick mother so well, and he deserved better.

 _He has my stoicism_ , I thought with sadness, yet with relief that he could be so strong at such a young age.

A wave of weakness suddenly shot through my knees, and I grabbed the edge of the counter for support.

After a moment, the sensation passed, and I rubbed a hand over my face. That was happening more and more lately, as if my body was struggling to simply hold itself upright. I wondered if a day would come where I wouldn't be able to get out of bed at all.

_Will they ever find out what is wrong with me?_

I didn't know. All I could do for now was stay strong and live the best I could with what I had.

_Just take it one day at a time._

I set my cell phone on the counter, then snatched it back up again, reminding myself to keep the phone on me at all times. Customers often voiced their concern about my safety, as a petite female running the shop alone.

I wasn't one to be paranoid, but I admitted the customers had a point. A few days earlier I had read an article detailing the rape and murder of a female boutique owner a few provinces away. And they hadn't caught the perpetrator. 

I shivered and clutched my phone to my chest.  _I probably should keep mace in the shop too._

With a heavy weariness, I forced my knees toward my chair in front of the tv, grunting in pain at the movement. As I got comfortable, I glanced once again at the clock.

"Damn it," I cursed under my breath. The clock read 5:58, time to close up shop. "Why couldn't I look at the clock _before_ sitting down?" 

I moaned in exasperation, my joints moaning with me as I rose from the chair. Limping and hissing at the pain, I slowly walked from the back of the store to the front, flipping light switches. My feet dragged under me as though the soles of my shoes were made of bricks.

Display pots were set out front, and it took all of my strength to pull them inside. They rolled on wheels and weren't heavy, but for my exhausted body, it felt as if I were attempting to move a concrete wall. 

As I pushed the last pot inside, I latched the lock behind me and leaned against the door, my chest heaving and my muscles shaking. I slid to the floor, letting my lungs and body recover. 

After several long moments, I still felt weak. But I needed to get home. Akio was waiting for me, and so was my mother.

_Come on, body. We can do this._

Clenching my teeth and balling my fists, I forced myself to stand. I cleared my throat determinedly and coaxed my legs forward. Thankfully, they obeyed.

Heading to the back door, I grabbed my purse and keys, and my umbrella. Satisfied that everything was completed for the night, I unlocked and opened the door when I heard my cell phone ring from somewhere inside the shop.

_Crap! I must have set it on the counter again!_

I had become so forgetful, my mind turning more and more foggy every day, even with important things.

Quickly, I shut and locked the door behind me, moving as fast as my weary body would allow. The backlight on my phone illuminated the counter in the darkened shop, and I easily snatched it up.

It was Akio's father.

"Hey, Sadao." I tried to sound as cheerful as possible through my exhaustion.

Even though he had left us in the care of my mother a few months ago, we had tried to remain on friendly terms for the sake of our son.

"How are you, Sayuri?" he asked casually, but I knew he didn't want the true answer.

"I'm fine," I lied. There was no use explaining that my body was struggling simply to stand there and speak to him.

Our relationship had rapidly deteriorated since I started to fall ill two years ago. In marriage vows, people promise to love each other through sickness and health. But no one really understands what that means until their partner _actually_ gets sick. People assume illness won't happen until they're old and decrepit. No one expects to care for an ill significant other in the prime of their lives, especially not for years without an end in sight.

And Sadao hadn't been able to cope with my sickness.

"Can I bring you dinner?" he asked unnecessarily, as he brought dinner to us almost every Tuesday, most likely out of guilt rather than genuine concern over my health after working a full day at the shop.

Nonetheless, I thanked him and told him I would appreciate his offer, and so would Akio. He didn't say, "I love you," before hanging up like he used to, and neither did I. We hadn't said those words in so long, I couldn't remember the last time.

This situation would test even the strongest marriage, and ours had failed that test miserably. I was glad for his help with dinner on Tuesdays, but both Akio and I certainly needed more than that.

I hung up the phone and stood still for a moment in the darkened shop. I closed my eyes and listened to the rain battering the roof, imagining the fresh drops pouring over my body, washing away the sickness, the pain, the exhaustion. I wished it could cleanse me, or at least melt me away into the ground so that when the sun shone again, I could bloom into something different, something bright and vibrant like all the flowers in my mother's shop.

In that moment I never could have imagined that my life would only become darker.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I started writing this story for multiple reasons. One, I wanted to delve deeper into the psychology of the brothers' mental issues and since their issues mostly stem from their mothers, I thought, "Why not make the heroine a mother?" Two, I wanted a heroine with a lot more depth than Yui's sweetness and naivety. I wanted someone who was more relatable for me, had a little bit more spunk, and wasn't a vulnerable, innocent teenager, but yet she was still vulnerable in her own ways (I'm not a Yui-hater, I just don't relate to her, and I personally don't like seeing a young girl in this awful situation).
> 
> And lastly, I wanted to explore the psychology of a heroine surviving a crazy situation like this. The game just didn't give me enough of the inner turmoil that should come with a female dealing with these insane, sexually charged brothers. So, much of this story revolves around my heroine's ability to cope with the vampires' cruelty and their fucked up personalities.
> 
> Oh, and of course, I wanted this story to be on the dark and twisted side of the series. I did NOT want some lame-ass fluffy vampire romance. So if that's what you're looking for, turn back now lol. This story has very few, if any, cute romantic moments. There is a LOT of abuse. A LOT. So please, if you are triggered by abuse, violence or sexual assault, DO NOT READ THIS. Although I will say, the smut is not that frequent or graphic, and focuses on trauma and emotions. It's not exactly meant to be super smutty.
> 
> As a final note, this story has its own plot, but it is based off the first game and the drama cds (not the anime), and I want people to be aware that I do use many of the same situations, which will include direct quotes. I wanted to explore those situations in a more realistic way, with a heroine that reacts differently than Yui. However, I do turn the scenes around and make them into my own creation. (That's the point of fanfic isn't it? XD).


	2. Taken

My shoulders rose and fell as I sighed into the lonely, quiet shop. I could feel the sorrow drifting on the air from my lungs.

_No, I can't do that._

Clenching my jaw and lifting my chin, I fought the self-pity and despair threatening to swallow me whole. I would keep my head up, keep putting one foot in front of the other. It was what I always did, taking things one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. It was the only way I could survive, since this illness had all but stolen my life from me. I wouldn't allow myself to fall apart -- that was never an option, no matter what happened.

Turning to leave, I glanced at my phone. The time glared at me from the screen. Akio was probably driving my mother crazy, asking why I wasn't home yet. A sad smile touched my lips. My young son was full of life and energy, but my body was clawing at me, begging me to crawl in bed and sleep. Yet, I knew the moment I walked through the door, Akio would contain himself for me. He would settle down to cuddle, instead of bombarding me with demands to play like most children.

Tucking a long strand of hair behind my ear, my soul swelled with love for my child, giving me the strength to push forward. I shifted my purse on my shoulder and headed for the back door, where my car was parked behind the building.

But I froze in my tracks, the color draining from my face.

I had locked the back door. I was _certain_ of it.

Yet somehow, a tall, slender man now stood in the darkened, empty shop.

My heart thumped painfully in my chest. The man stood _unnaturally_ still, mere feet from me, his hardened, golden eyes penetrating right through me. Though his white hair was clean-cut and he was wearing an elegant suit with a silk tie knotted around his neck, my instincts told me this was not a customer browsing for flowers. A terrified feeling came from some deep place inside me that somehow  _knew_ this man was evil. 

Instantly, I spun on my heels, terror launching me toward the front of the store, despite my body's painful protests. 

My lungs released a strangled cry as the man inexplicably appeared in front of me, materializing out of nowhere. I skidded to a stop, catching myself and straggling backwards.

My chest heaved in panic, fear splitting through my veins. Stumbling to the cashier's counter with the man close behind, I tossed over a stool, hoping to slow his advance. But he brushed it aside with a wave of his hand as if it were as light as a feather. Vases crashed to the floor around him as the stool collided with a display of flowers.

The sound of breaking glass jarred through my terror, waking my rational mind.

_My phone! My phone!_

It was still in my hand.

Dropping my purse and umbrella, I lunged toward the back door, my fingers fumbling to dial for help as I ran. The sheer panic vibrating through my hands prevented me from pressing the right app buttons.

 _Come on!_ I screamed in my head. But before I could clear the screen, I slammed head-on into something cold and hard.

My eyes flew wide, my mouth yelping out a cry of shock. How? _How?!_

He appeared yet again in front of me, not chasing me, just manifesting out of thin air, perfectly still and composed, as if he'd been standing there all along.

With a single, fluid motion the man grabbed my wrist with one hand and snatched my phone with the other. My jaw fell open in horror as he dropped the phone to the floor, smashing it to pieces with a quick stomp of his foot.

_No!_

The news of the raped and murdered boutique owner flashed in my mind, and a horrid reality gripped me by the throat: I may never see my son again.

Fierce anguish flooded my system at that thought, filling every cell in my body with a primal urge to fight. I twisted violently against the man's icy grip on my wrist, uncaring of the pain shrieking in my joints.

But his fingers were iron tight, and my strength was no match for his, even if I were healthy. My assailant towered over me by almost a foot, his weight easily dwarfing my small, weak frame.

He jerked me forward, spinning me around and pulling my back into his chest.

"No! Let go! Let go of me!" Panic tore through my voice as long, frigid arms wrapped around my front, securing me against him.

"It's useless to struggle. You are coming with me, Kimiko." His sinister, steel tone rippled up and down my spine, immobilizing my entire body with fear.

But it was the name leaving his lips that hit me like a sack of bricks. It was a name I hadn't heard since my childhood, before I was adopted.

_Oh god, what does he want with me?_

Before I could comprehend what was happening, the man pushed me toward the back door, which, I noticed in utter disbelief, was still _locked_.

My mind whirred, my thoughts racing with every horrible possibility of what he might do to me.

_No! I can't let this happen!_

As he tugged me out into the night air, I gathered what was left of my strength and courage, preparing to release the scream and fight of my life.

The man seemed to sense my intentions. His hand clamped over my mouth, blocking the guttural sound of terror shooting out of my lungs. Desperation whipped through me and I shoved my energy into my legs, attempting to kick and flail with every fiber of my being.

Instead my knees buckled, the exhaustion and sickness sapping the last of my adrenaline.

_No! My body can't give out now!_

I sagged helplessly in the man's hold and his vile strength circled my waist, caging me in his arms.

My eyes darted into the dark alleyway, blinking wildly in all directions as a stark realization dawned on me: it wouldn't have mattered how loud I screamed or fought. The rain was coming down in thick buckets and would have drowned out any sound of my demise.

Tears swam in my vision, combining with the rain to blur the night around me. An image of my son waiting for me at home flared in my mind, making my heart wrench in my chest. 

A sense of unreality engulfed me when a four-door BMW screeched to the curbcurb and my captor threw me into the backseat.

 _Come on, move!_ I screamed at my body, forcing my weakened muscles to slide across the seat, reaching desperately for the door handle on the other side as if it were Akio himself.

But my abductor climbed in the car behind me, and his rigid fingers caught me by the upper arm, pulling me to him.

A tortured, angry sound bled from my voice. "No! Let me go, you bastard! No!" 

But my cries were met with the car door slamming shut.

"Drive." The man addressed someone behind the wheel whom I hadn't even noticed in my panic.

My chest pulsed up and down, panting in horror as the car rolled forward. The rain pounded mercilessly against the roof, echoing the ramming of my heart against my ribs and making my thoughts whirl in a frantic loop. _Oh god! I have to get out of here! I'll never see Akio again! Oh god! I have to get out of here!. . ._

My captor bent his head down, his presence cold and invading as his breath touched my ear. "Calm down, Kimiko. I will not hurt you, as long as you comply."

It wasn't pain that frightened me, but his words jolted my logical senses. I _did_ need to calm down. Dissolving into hysteria would not help me survive. Whatever was happening, whatever he wanted with me, a clear head would be my only hope of making it out of this alive.

I blinked hard, trying ruthlessly to shake the fear from my mind and focus my thoughts.

"What's going on?" I finally asked, my voice quivering along with my body. Drawing in a few slow, trembling breaths, I added, "Who are you?"

The back of my neck prickled with the delayed awareness that he had called me "Kimiko" again. Hearing that name sent a chill down to my toes. My mother had changed my name to Sayuri when she adopted me as a young child, and no one had called me Kimiko since.

He didn't reply. A flash of light from another car silhouetted his towering profile, and I felt the muscles in my stomach tighten. The man's golden eyes unnaturally glowed back at me, as if lit from within. He was watching me, assessing me, and the weight of that overpowering gaze shot through my nerve endings. I tore my eyes away, afraid I would lose my fragile composure.

"I have been searching for you for three long decades," he finally answered, his tone smooth and controlled. "My name is Karlheinz."

I stared at my shaking hands in my lap, feeling that invading gaze of his on me, disorienting me. There was something that felt vaguely familiar about him, but I couldn't say how. Digging through my mind, I tried to place the name. But it meant nothing to me.

And then I blinked, realizing how freely he had given me his name; I hadn't expected he would actually reveal who he was. A cold sweat formed on my brow as I understood what that probably meant: He didn't intend for me to escape and release his name to the police.

 _Oh god. . . he's planning to kill me._  My head spun, desperately trying to hold on to rational thought. _No, he probably wouldn't do that, not if he'd been searching for me._

 _Maybe he's a long lost relative, someone from my past. . ._ _But then why abduct me?_

My mind was throbbing, grasping at straws for any sort of explanation for this horrific turn of events.

Karlheinz's cold hand suddenly made me shudder as it hooked under my jaw and forced me to look at him.

Summoning a boldness I didn’t have, I attempted to yank my face out of his grip. But he held my chin firm, not allowing me to turn my head.

"I don't understand! What the hell do you want with me?" I managed under his grasp.

His lips faintly curved into a hint of a frightening smile, "You belong to me. You are my precious experiment."

His words fell into a heavy silence that clouded over me, filling my veins with an intense sense of dread. I wanted to ask what he meant by "experiment," but the question froze in my throat. The rainy world was flying by in the windows behind him, but everything faded into the background beneath his icy, golden stare. Specs of darker gold reflected throughout the inhuman color, and I felt as if I was looking through the sand of an hour glass. Though he didn't appear to be much older than me, his eyes were _ancient_.

Something about this man's presence and the way his eyes were boring into me, made me feel as if he were peering straight through to my soul, commanding my obedience, my silence. I felt my body go slack with a strange undercurrent of compliance.

 _The shock and trauma of what's happening must be catching up with me_ , I reasoned, swallowing hard, feeling more disoriented by the second.

"And I've found you at last. . .," my captor breathed thoughtfully, more to himself than to me.

He leaned in close, his face stopping just inches from mine. Too close. My eyes grew wide, my chest hollowing out in fear. My lips parted to let out a whimper or a scream, but no sound came out.

_I need to move! Come on, body! Don't give in yet! Punch him, kick him! Run! It doesn't matter if you jump out of a moving vehicle, at least you'd have a chance!_

But my muscles wouldn't listen to me, whether it was from fear or sickness, or something else, I couldn't tell.

Karlheinz slowly dipped his face into my neck, the tips of his white hair brushing my chin. I flinched at his nearness, my skin tightening with apprehension. A dozen terrifying images of what he might do to me flared in my mind.

His chest and shoulders expanded as he dragged in a deep breath, making a light current of cold air swirl over my throat.

 _Is he_  smelling  _me?_

"It's incredible that it has taken this long to find you." His words breezed across my skin. "That scent. . . it should have led me to you long before now."

 _Scent?_  I blinked rapidly, unsure if I heard him correctly.

Karlheinz lifted his head, bringing it even with mine, his voice thoughtful and questioning. "You've been ill, have you not?"

"What?" I blurted out, finding that my mouth could finally move.

_He kidnaps me, talks about experiments and smells, and now he's asking about my illness?_

"I wondered if that might happen," he said under his breath, studying me intently, as if he was oblivious to the havoc that his cryptic words were wreaking through my mind.

 _I have to keep him talking_ , I thought, attempting to swallow my heart from my throat and keep my head level. Whether I understood his words or not was irrelevant. I needed as much information as possible to give to the police when I escaped.

 _And I_ _will_ _escape,_ I vowed, my hands curling into determined fists. 

"Well, it's no matter now," the man continued. "You will feel better soon. I can help with that, as will my sons."

Without warning, he turned my head to the side, fully exposing my neck.

"What--" The word ripped from my throat as a gasp. I was not prepared for the explosion of pain and color that erupted behind my eyes when he bit _hard_ into my skin.

I heard a pained, echoing cry. With shock, I realized it was being pulled from my own chest. My fingernails clawed at my abductor, my palms pushing at his shoulders, but my strength had already slipped away.

A horrible gulping sound reached my ears as the corners of my vision blurred, my consciousness quickly fading as I realized with terror that he was drinking my blood.

_Oh god. . . What is happening? Please let me survive this. . ._

My last thought before the darkness completely enveloped me was of my little boy, waiting for me at home.

 

 

 


	3. Introductions

Blackness covered my field of view as I tried to open my eyes. Waking up had been difficult for me since I fell ill, but this heaviness I felt now was extremely unusual. My thoughts spun in a dark haze in the corners of my mind. Where was I? Was it nighttime? Was I in my bed awakening from a bad dream? I remembered being worried about a stain on my favorite dress. What happened after that? Did I pass out from exhaustion? I knew it wasn't possible that a white-haired, golden-eyed man in a business suit had kidnapped me in a BMW, and then drank my blood.

_Jesus, what a nightmare. . ._

Blinking a few times, I tried to focus my vision. Nausea flooded my stomach with an overwhelming feeling of unease, an utter sense of _dread_. I attempted to lift my head, but my ears were crushed under a roaring sound. 

"It's best if you keep your head down for now," I heard _his_  voice say -- that voice from my nightmare.

"No!" I shrieked and jerked my head up, my eyes bolting wide open.

Everything came crashing down around me as Karlheinz's cold, powerful presence filled me with gut-wrenching fear. His arm was around me almost protectively, and my muscles tensed with the realization that we were still in the car, that I had been unconscious against his shoulder.

_No! No! This isn't real, it can't be! It's just a dream! I must've passed out at work and I'm still unconscious!_

"You're small, sickly body can't take much right now. Soon that will improve." My abductor’s dark, imposing voice was all too real.

I tried to jerk away from him, but he tightened his grip around my shoulder. My hand shot up to my neck where he had _bitten_  me. My fingertips brushed across two very small puncture wounds, and my brow arched in surprise; the pain from that bite led me to believe I'd have a gaping gash in my neck. Instead the wound was barely noticeable.

"As I expected, you heal quickly from vampire bites," Karlheinz mused as he watched my reaction, holding me firmly against him.

_Vampire bites?_

Now I _knew_  I was dreaming. The car dipped sickeningly, and I clamped my eyes shut.  _Okay, wake up now, Sayuri. Wake up._

I willed my eyes to open again, determined that I'd see my son snuggled up against me on my futon, begging me for pancakes.

My insides twisted in a knot. Instead of my son's obsidian eyes, I was greeted with an unnatural, terrifying golden stare glinting at me through the darkness. And for the first time in this close proximity to him, I saw two very distinct canines that looked disturbingly like fangs on his upper row of teeth.

I hauled air deep into my lungs and blew it out slowly, pushing back the thickening panic. "Please, you have to take me back," I choked, intending to speak urgently but my voice was throttled. "I'm not well. I need my medicine." I suddenly remembered that if I didn't have my meds I would get very, very sick.

"You will be fine." Karlheinz's expression was one of deep interest. "You won't need your medicines anymore." His fingers thoughtfully grazed the wounds on my neck, making me shiver at his cold touch. "To get well again, you need to be surrounded by the darkness."

My heart thrummed against my chest, my mind unable to comprehend his nonsense. "Please let me go. I won't say anything. I won't call the police, I swear. Please. . . I have a son, a little boy who needs me. . ." That was all I could manage as grief welled up and squeezed my vocal cords.

"A child that never should have been," Karlheinz murmured softly, caressing my cheek and wiping away an escaped tear.

But there was no sympathy in his hardened gaze.  
  
The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, and I turned away, unable to bear looking at him. My shoulders sagged as I understood I would not be able to appeal to any sense of humanity this man might have had.

We rode in tense quiet for what seemed like hours. So many questions rummaged through my mind, but when I attempted to speak, my kidnapper's eyes paralyzed me in fear, as if he were commanding my silence with just his gaze. I stared out the window, unblinking, as though the darkness outside could offer me the answers he wouldn’t.

I still hadn't ruled out that I was in a coma, in a hospital somewhere, trapped in a ridiculously long nightmare. I struggled to comprehend the fact that the man had put his teeth to my throat and drank my blood.

I recalled a documentary or something on TV I'd once seen about people who drank blood, calling themselves vampires. But they didn't have discernable fangs. They were just wannabes pretending that vampires existed. However, this frightening person who had abducted me most noticeably had elongated canines.

My logical mind refused to believe such a thing as vampires existed. _Perhaps it's some sort of body modification. . ._

My heart lept into my throat as the car slowed, turning onto a secluded drive, and stopping in front of a looming wrought iron gate. 

"This is where you will be staying," Karlheinz said, sliding his arm off my shoulder and opening the car door. "My sons will take care of you from here."

"Wait!" I sputtered, suddenly finding my voice as he began to climb out, the sound of the iron gate ominously creaking open in front of the car.

Before I could say anything further Karlheinz leaned down and said, "You are where you belong now." 

I blinked at him. There was something about the way he said those words, something that coated my body in fear. My lips parted, watching in cold, stunned silence as he closed the car door, leaving those dark and disturbing words hanging over me. 

The car lurched forward, snapping me out of my daze. I glanced to the gate which now fully stood open. When I looked back into the direction of my golden-eyed captor, he was gone. Shocked, my wide eyes stared into the empty darkness.

_Where did he go?!_

But then I realized that if he was gone, this was now my chance to escape. I hoped that the hours resting in the car would give my body strength. Biting my lip in determination, I snatched the door handle before the car could pull all the way through the gate.

But the door wouldn't budge.

_Shit! It's locked! I must not have heard the driver lock it!_

Fumbling to pull the lock knob up, my heart hammered in my chest, my fingers shaking so badly I could barely get them to work. But as I pulled, the lock stick wouldn't move. It was as immobile as the door handle.

_No! It must be damned child-safety locks!_

I tried the button for the window with the same result. Slamming my hand on the glass, a frustrated cry caught in my throat.

My eyes dared to look in the rearview mirror at the driver. He was eerily quiet, his stony face staring straight ahead. I followed his gaze through the windshield, trying to hold back my growing panic as the gate thundered shut behind the vehicle.

The driveway curved along a graceful hill, and out of the darkness, a massive mansion came swimming into view. My mouth fell open. I had never seen anything like it anywhere, but certainly not here in Japan. It was impossible to see the entire building in the darkness, and I wasn't sure I would have been able to do so, even in full daylight. The ancient architecture was a gothic mix, with medieval themes and vines growing up the wall that gave the house -- if it could be called that -- an air of being out of a story book.

_Or a horror novel. . ._

The driver pulled the car up to the main entrance on a circle drive. Copious rose bushes covered the well manicured courtyard, and a fountain with a gargoyle perched on a precipice completed the surreal, other-worldly presence of the mansion.

Enthralled by the surroundings, I almost missed the driver open his door and step out to open mine. He said nothing as he waited patiently for me to exit.

Apprehension at what I might step into gripped me. What waited for me in that house? A few moments ago I'd been so eager to escape the car and now I found myself glued to it.

_Escape._

_The door is open! I need to run!_

But the iron gate had closed me inside the property. . .

My mind raced, wondering if the tall fence surrounded the entire compound. A mansion of this size would certainly have high security. But I still had to try.

Cautiously, I swung my legs out of the vehicle that had held me prisoner for the past few hours. I eyed the driver tentatively, but he made no move to restrain me in any way. In fact, he didn't even look at me.

A fierce ache surged down my back and to my knees, almost crippling me with pain as I stood. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip, biting down hard as I forced back the pain and the exhaustion.

 _Perhaps the rest in the car wasn't enough_. . .  _Stay strong, body. I need you. Don't give in yet._

I turned my head towards the mansion, and my breath caught in my chest. A sinister-looking man with glasses, dressed in a sharp black suit, stood glaring at me from the front stoop.

The driver shut the car door and climbed in behind the wheel, turning the ignition. The noise from his movements spurred me to action.

_It's now or never. Run!_

A rush of adrenaline exploded inside my head, coursing through my veins, and pulling every ounce of strength from the corners of my being. I swallowed hard and took off running down the driveway, toward the gate. If the gate didn't open, I'd run along the fence until I found an opening. Even if there wasn't a way out, at least the cover of darkness could temporarily hide me until I could figure out how to get help.

I knew instinctively that whatever lay waiting for me inside that house would not be good.

My feet pounded against the concrete and my muscles clenched, screaming in protest, the agony of my joints and tendons assailing me. My dress snagged between my knees and nearly toppled me over. I caught my footing in time and pressed myself to keep going. My heavy gasps for air threatened to burst my lungs. I hadn't been able to run since I had gotten sick, and I quickly realized my body wouldn't make it much further.

 _No! Hurry, keep going! Don't stop!_ I pleaded with my body. The gate came closer into view, but seemed so far away.

Panic ripped through me when I felt the cloth from my sweater suddenly being yanked backwards. I hadn't heard footsteps behind me, but something had a hold of me now. Without even glancing to see what, or who, it was, I scrambled out of the sweater, thankful for my skinny arms in that moment.

Freed from whatever had grabbed me, I begged my legs for speed.

But I didn't get more than a few yards when a brutal jerk on my long hair hurled me backwards. Terror shot up my throat as my entire body collapsed back onto something -- someone.

The hand that clutched my hair tugged down hard, and my face was wrenched upwards to meet angry red eyes under a pair of glasses, looking down on me from behind. The man I had seen by the entrance loomed over me, tall and menacing, his gaze burning into me through his harshly angled face.

I cried out as his other hand wrapped around my right arm in a bruising, vice-locked grip. "Ow, let go! You're hurting me!" 

Reaching back to claw at his face, I felt the stony fingers that were knotted in my hair pull roughly, practically snapping my neck. The murderous glare in his eyes made me freeze, a look that clearly said, "One more move, and I _will_ kill you." My spine trembled as I slowly dropped my arm to my side in surrender.

"It's rude to run when your hosts receive you," he growled, and my eyes widened as a pair of elongated canines bared behind his lips. "You have already worn out my patience for today."

For a moment I thought he might break my neck anyway, but he seemed to think better of it. His grip on my hair loosened, and he slowly stood me upright, turning me to face him.

My legs shook violently beneath me, and I realized with despair that even if I broke free of him, I would not be able to run again.

"Allow me to introduce myself," the man said bitterly, pushing dark purple-gray hair out of his eyes with a white gloved hand. "I am Reiji Sakamaki. I am one of six sons to the man who brought you here."

_Reiji Sakamaki? Six sons? That man is his father?_

Though I was in an exhausted, panicked daze and terrified of the malice in his expression, I committed his name and face and everything else to memory. I knew that, despite the gut-wrenching fear, I needed to record as many details as possible. The police wouldn't be able to nail these bastards to the wall without it.

Without waiting for me to reply, the man -- Reiji -- dragged me toward the mansion. "I will introduce you to the others as they are not aware of your stay with us yet," he said, towering beside me like his apparent father had done earlier that night. He turned to sneer at me as we reached the front entrance. "I do not tolerate this kind of behavior. You will not run again."

 _Like hell I won't,_ I thought angrily. I was already having to dig my nails into my hands to resist the urge to run, even though I knew I couldn't. I knew I would have to bide my time, wait until I had recovered some strength.

Reiji heaved open one of the great wooden front doors of the mansion and hauled me inside. The fine hairs on my neck bristled when the door banged shut behind us, a feeling of finality, of being utterly trapped, consuming me.

I grabbed ahold of my breath, reminding myself to stay calm, to think logically.

_Details. Focus on the details._

Lifting my chin, I forced myself to absorb the surroundings. The interior of the house was as dark and sinister as the outside. A great marble staircase, covered in red and gold carpet, greeted the entrance hall. Eerie and aging paintings of old and unfamiliar faces ornamented the walls, lit by a brilliant chandelier that might have been beautiful, if not for the evil presence that blanketed the air.

Reiji walked to the foot of the staircase, his hand still painfully gripping my arm as he pulled me along. "Everyone please meet in the sitting room at once," he called, before jerking me down a hallway, our footsteps echoing on the grey marble floor.

Pulling me into the next room, I stared in awe at the marble pillars rising up from the matching floor, accenting the imposing high ceiling and extravagant windows. Another staircase adorned the wall across from the room's entrance, overlooking the luxurious black furniture that sat in front of a grand stone fireplace, which was empty of a fire that would have given much needed warmth to the cold atmosphere.

The hand on my arm pushed me down onto the black couch. My legs, grateful to have my weight taken off them, fell like jelly into the cushion. My nerves, however, were still on full alert. I didn't understand what the hell I was doing here, what these people wanted with me, and why. I just wanted to be back at home, safe with my son and my mother. I'd even be happy to see my husband.

_They must be so worried._

A strangled sound halfway between a scream and a sob formed inside my throat, but I shoved it back. I had to remain calm and composed in order to find a way back to my family.

I lifted my chin with a steely determination, my eyes finding the man with glasses. He stood stiffly across from the couch, silently glaring at me. I hugged my now sweater-less bare shoulders, rubbing the bruise he'd left on my arm. But my determination hadn't erased the fear, and I shivered under his potent glare.

"Reiji, you son of a bitch," a voice called out severely.

Surprise turned my head. A red-haired young man, perhaps even a teenager -- whom I hadn't seen or heard enter -- now stood behind one of the armchairs, his hands angrily gripping the edge.

His violent yellow-green eyes narrowed in disgust at Reiji, his voice a low growl. "You know I am supposed to be the first one to lay eyes on a new bride."

I watched as Reiji sighed, putting his hand to his forehead in apparent exasperation. "Now is not the time for one of your tantrums, Ayato."

"You bastard. . .," the angry male mumbled under his breath. His disconcerting eyes turned on me, and I swallowed harshly, my heart skipping a beat.

"This isn't acceptable behavior in front of our guest. You don't even know if she _is_ a bride," Reiji added.

 _Bride?_ I blinked at them dumbly.

"No?" The young man that Reiji had called Ayato pushed his hands off the back of the armchair and slowly sauntered toward me, moving with a slow, predatory grace that spiked a chill across my skin.

I stiffened. Both men had menacing faces, but this new person exuded danger in a way the other didn't.

"Well, who else would she be?" Ayato smiled threateningly, and I stared in alarm at two distinct canines peeking behind his lips.

I inwardly begged Ayato not to come any closer. The way he looked at me made me feel vulnerable and. . .  _hunted_.

I breathed a sigh of relief as my wish was granted. He sat in the armchair, but he didn't take those unnerving eyes off me.

"Why else would a teenage girl be in our house in the middle of the night?" he said.

"Who said she was a teenager?" Reiji shot back, a smirk lifting the corner of his mouth.

"Oh~? _Not_ a teenager?" A new sing-song voice drifted through the air behind me. I turned to see a strikingly handsome young man in a fedora on the staircase, his red hair and green eyes resembling the one Reiji had called Ayato.

I startled as, not even a split-second later, the fedora-wearing boy whispered seductively in my ear. "I _do_ like older women."

I shrank back, my eyes wide open in shock.  _That's impossble. . . he was just on the stairs!_

He leaned in close and my stomach clenched at the sudden intrusion of my personal space. But he kept coming closer and in the next instant, his tongue slithered up my neck. 

"What the hell!" My stunned silence finally broke as I slapped him across the face, hard enough to knock the stupid hat off his head.

_He licked me?!_

Jumping up, I stumbled away from the couch, astonished that my body still had the energy to move that fast.

The boy paused for a few seconds before giggling a high-pitched giggle and fixing his fedora back on his red head. He looked up at me, his emerald eyes gleaming.

"I also like the feisty ones," he said, far too cheerfully.

 _He has them, too,_ I realized. _Fangs_.

"Laito, you bastard," Ayato cursed again. "How dare you get the first taste of her?"

I whipped my head around in bewilderment. _First taste?! Jesus, I need to get the hell out of here!_

Panic began creeping into my chest. I backed away, almost absent-mindedly in my rising sense of fear. I bumped into something behind me, and a line of wetness snaked up the other side of my neck.

"Mmm. . . she tastes delicious."

Shrieking in horror, I whirled to find a lavendar-haired kid with a teddy bear wrapped in his arms. The crazed look in his matching lavendar eyes froze my blood. So did the fangs behind his lips.

With a terrified gasp, I turned to run for the entrance hall. But instead of taking off, my legs collapsed underneath me, my knees hitting the marble floor with a painful crack, my dress spreading out around me.

"Look, Teddy. She's so scared she can't even stand," the boy with the stuffed animal snickered gleefully.

I bit down hard on my lip, feeling my consciousness hanging on by a thread. My hands pressed into the marble, desperately trying to keep my body upright. Pain wracked through all my joints and, until now, the adrenaline had kept the pain mostly at bay. But without my meds, the agony and exhaustion were beginning to take over. 

 _Hang on, don't let go now,_ I whispered to my body, keeping my head down, my long hair shielding my face from the four pairs of terrifying eyes in the room. 

"Step aside, Kanato." I heard Reiji's footsteps skirt around the small, lavendar-haired boy. "Our father said she would be troublesome," he ground out with irritation as he lifted me to my feet.

I stumbled and nearly fell, catching myself on Reiji's jacket. He pulled my arm around his waist and steadied me with his icy hand on my shoulder. I inhaled a sharp, frightened breath, shuddering to allow one of my captors to hold me in such a way. But at the moment I had no choice.

"What the hell is going on?" A booming, angry voice filled the room. Hesitantly, I looked up and gaped as yet another young male entered the room. He glared at me from under shaggy white hair that fell over the side of his face, his blazing red eyes similar to the man now holding me.

"Ah, Subaru," Reiji started. "I'm afraid we need to cut introductions short. Our guest is not feeling well."

 _Guest? Don't you mean prisoner?_ I thought sarcastically somewhere between the exhaustion and fear.

"The hell you will!" The boy called Subaru punched the wall, leaving a large crack in his fist's wake. "I don't want to be called down again. Get this over with now."

"Ah-ah, little brother," the fedora wearing boy said to him. "We just fixed that wall last month."

"Shut up! I don't consider myself your brother," Subaru yelled and marched towards me. "Who are you?" He practically screamed in my face.

"I..I..," I stuttered, at a loss for words, fearing he would crack my skull next.

"Our father sent her," yet another voice said. I glanced toward the back of the room at a couch perched against the wall. A blond man lay there now, his eyes closed.

_Where the hell do they keep coming from?_

"Yes, Shuu is correct," Reiji chimed in. "Our father brought her here himself. He said she is different from the others and we cannot kill her."

His words pulled a terrified gasp from my lungs. _Kill? Oh god! What is this place?!_

"What do you mean?" Ayato said incredulously, sounding disappointed.

"Exactly what I said," Reiji retorted. "He specifically requested that we treat her with respect. That is all I know."

"Bullshit," Ayato mumbled, glaring at me.

_What the hell? He's pissed off that he can't kill me?!_

I remembered what Karlheinz had said. _Vampires._

_Oh god, I have to find a way out of here! Why do I have to be sick now out of all times in my life?_

I strained against Reiji's hold on me, a sudden desperation to run overtaking me, despite my body's weakness. 

"Stop struggling," Reiji said impatiently. "If you can struggle, you can talk. Introduce yourself."

Fear widened my eyes as I scanned the room, shivering at the threatening faces glaring back. The last thing I wanted to give these people was my name. Karlheinz, the man who'd kidnapped me, had called me by my birth name. It crossed my mind that perhaps he had mistaken my identity. If I gave them my birth name, it might confirm they had the right person. But my adopted name could lead them to my mother and son. I wanted to keep that a very distant possibility.

"Spit it out," Ayato hissed at me.

"She's known by two names," the blond-haired man on the couch said with a sleepy sigh.

"What do you know, Shuu?" Reiji narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

The one he called Shuu slid his eyes open as he adjusted the ear buds attached to a sort of mp3 player choker on his neck. His blue gaze pierced through me as he turned his head, regarding me intently.

"Her name is Sayuri, but she was born as Kimiko," Shuu informed him. He added, solemnly, after a pause, "She's _that_ one."

A weighted silence hung in the air. Dread engulfed me as I realized they knew exactly who I was. My knees began to buckle, fatigue and trauma making even my skin feel too heavy. The room spun around me, my vision graying out at the edges as my consciousness drained away from me for the second time that night.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know the introductions were a little lame and cliche but I didn't really want to spend much time on them *I sowwy*


	4. Once Bitten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of the brothers gets his first taste of Sayuri, and it has an unexpected affect on both of them.

 

* * *

 

 

I woke with a start, sitting straight up and gasping for air. My head pounded viciously against my skull, my body as heavy as a leaded weight.

I blinked, trying to focus. Everything was a haze around me, a cloud of disorientation as I tried to understand what had happened and where I was. A room took shape in front of me -- a bedroom. And quite an elegant one at that. Night was pouring in through the tall windows, a lamp on the bedside table softly illuminating the cherrywood four-poster bed. Sheer white curtains wrapped around the posts like vines, matching the luxurious white down comforter covered across my body.

_Where am I?_

Before I could marvel at the rest of the room, a word suddenly shot through my mind.

 _Vampires_.

My hand flew to my neck as the memories of the nightmare came flooding back. 

Throwing the covers off in a panic, I jumped out of the bed. The room immediately spun in a circle and started to go black. Bending over, I steadied my hands on my knees, letting the blood flow back to my head before I passed out.

That was when I noticed unfamiliar light blue fabric draped over my torso.

"What the hell?" I swore aloud. 

The spaghetti-strapped nightgown fell well above my knees as I stood straight up, the material barely any thicker than the sheer curtains on the bed. The neckline plunged dangerously low, and if I'd had any breasts to speak of, they would have been spilling out.

Bile rose in my throat at the realization that someone had seen me naked.

"You slept _all day,_ Bitch-chan." 

A high giggle came from behind me, and I whirled around, the breath stalling in my lungs. The fedora-wearing redhead now occupied my place on the bed, laying down as if he'd been there the whole time.

"Where did you come from?" I panted in alarm as I stumbled backward, too surprised to comprehend the vile name he called me.

My heart jumped into my throat when a different voice answered in my ear, "Same place I did." An arm snaked around my waist and spun me around. "Don't let him see that face. Only show _me_ that fear."

A shudder ripped its way down my spine. The one that I vaguely remembered being called Ayato flashed his fangs at me, his yellow-green eyes glowing like a reptile's, his pupils slitted and unnatural.

"Get your hands off me!" I hissed, shoving him as hard as I could. But the lack of strength in my weakened arms only made him laugh, a cold sound that cut me to the bone.

With a rough tug, he drew me closer, pressing my body into his. "Ore-sama is going to have the first sip. Not you, Laito," he sneered, his voice predatory and utterly terrifying.

"What the hell are you doing?! Let go of me!" I pounded at his chest, kicking at his legs, my blood racing through my veins.

"She is a wild cat~," the one on the bed snickered.

 _More like a goddamn kitten!_ I angrily cursed at myself. I hadn't had any meds or food for at least twenty-four hours, and just standing was difficult, much less trying to fight.

 _At least kittens have claws,_ I sobbed inwardly, feeling small and helpless _. I have nothing to fight back with!_

Ayato ignored my frantic, pathetic struggling and pushed my hair off my shoulder. He leaned into my neck. Tremors flushed across my skin when I heard him take a deep breath, the same as Karlheinz had done.

"What. . . the hell? I feel drunk just off your scent," he whispered slowly, breathing in a second time as I flattened my hands against his chest, desperately trying to push him away.

But when he pulled back, the smile on his face faded into a scowl. His hand tightened on the back of my neck, his fingers nearly encompassing my entire throat.

"Stop moving," he demanded, a warning in his eyes.

I froze at the threat in his tone, my legs nearly buckling beneath me.

"What the fuck is this?" he growled. His cold fingertips grazed my throat, sliding over the bite mark from Karlheinz the night before, though it was almost healed now.

Despite feeling weaker than I'd ever felt in my life, all my senses were on full alert. I was hyper-aware that barely any clothing covered my body, that I was exposed and vulnerable, that both the boys' eyed me hungrily.

I didn't believe in god, but in that moment, I prayed to whatever might be listening, _Please don't let them kill me._ A vision of Akio, the little love of my life, flashed in my mind, my heart aching inside my ribs.

The fingers on my neck squeezed, and I winced at the sudden pain. 

"Answer me, _Prey!_ " Ayato jerked me around, slamming me into the wall behind him.

I inhaled a sharp gasp, crying out as my back took the brunt of the impact. 

"Can you not speak? Hah?! Who bit you?" Ayato's sudden angry actions had indeed crushed my voice.

But with the picture of my son fresh in my mind, I managed to gather my courage, and spat, "I'll tell you if you _let_ _go_ of me."

Ayato narrowed his eyes, and I heard Laito chuckling.

"You don't get to play games with me," Ayato snarled. In less than a blink, he lunged, burying his fangs into my neck -- into the healing wound from his father.

A pain more fierce than anything ever caused by my illness wracked my body. Searing hot shocks burned from my neck to my toes, and I couldn't stifle a gutteral scream. It felt as if his teeth might dig all the way into my bones.

My fists drove against Ayato's chest in a furious attempt to push him off. One hand flew behind his neck, desperately yanking his hair. But that only seemed to encourage him. He groaned and pressed his body into me, crushing me against the wall.

Then, without warning, he suddenly pulled back. The sensation of his fangs tearing out of my skin pulled another scream from my throat. The agony would have made me vomit had there been food in my stomach.

"Just what the hell is this?" he mumbled as I gasped for breath. I could feel the warm gush of blood streaming from the wound and down my neck.

The look of surprise on his face lasted only a moment before he dove back into my throat. I braced myself for the pain, my hand still lodged in his hair, ready to yank him back. But this time he didn't sink his teeth in. Instead, I felt his mouth over the wound, his tongue licking and sucking the punctured skin.

I was not prepared for the feeling that would overtake my body next. In place of hot, searing pain, a different hot sensation flooded over me, something sensual and strange and. . .  _euphoric_.

Tingling warmth, a languid, smooth heat, spread through my muscles. My nerves -- which had been frenzied just seconds before -- became calm and quiet, floating with a silky relaxation, an odd sense of tranquility. My grip on Ayato's hair softened to a light touch, and I felt as if I might melt into him.

 _What the hell. . . indeed. . ._ , I thought, Ayato’s words parroting in my mind.

I didn't remember the bite from Karlheinz feeling this way. Was that because I had passed out almost immediately? I felt myself near the edge of losing consciousness now as well, struggling to comprehend what was happening.

_What. . . is. . . this. . . this feeling?_

The boy at my throat moaned deeply, as if he felt the same consuming, euphoric sensation. Goosebumps pebbled up and down my arms, my body shuddering under him as his tongue pulled the red liquid from my veins. 

Nausea began twisting my insides, not from pain or illness, but from disgust at how wonderful it felt.

Before I could hate myself further for this foreign and unwelcome  _pleasure,_  I heard the sound of the door slamming open.

"Ayato!" A voice sternly reprimanded.

But the boy at my neck barely reacted. His tongue slowly lapped the last of the blood from my skin, the wet, coolness of it making me tremble.

Finally pulling his head back, Ayato's face came even with mine. My hand on the back of his neck slid slowly down to rest on his chest, next to my other hand that had been trying to fight him off, before this _feeling_ swept over me.

"It's time for school," I vaguely recognized Reiji's voice say with an impatient edge.

I think Laito might have giggled again and may have said something about being turned on. The world around me was whirling and foggy, up and down mixing together as if I'd just gotten off a roller coaster.

I barely understood the words that Ayato whispered in my ear and my subconscious reply. "Whose was it?" 

"Karlheinz," I said, my voice quivering from his soft, seductive breath on my skin.

Ayato let go of me, and I weakly slid down the wall and to the floor, my legs crumpling beneath me. The lingerie barely covered  me, and I was certain I looked quite indecent to the three males now standing in the bedroom. But I had no strength to care.

"Ayato!" Reiji scolded once again.

"I don't think Bitch-chan's in any condition to go to school with us today,~" Laito giggled softly.

"She isn't going to school anyhow, at least not for a time" Reiji informed him. "The police are looking for her since she wasn't given to us by the Church."

"Ohh? How _interesting_. Well then, I'll stay home and  _care~_ for her." Laito's tongue lingered on the word "care" and gave it a wholly disgusting alternate meaning. My stomach turned, but I was too fuzzy and weak to protest. And too confused to make sense of their conversation.

School? At night? So were they teenagers or college students then? Where were the adults in the house? Did their father not live here? Why had he disappeared before we even entered the gate the night before? And what did they mean by "the Church?" My mind was an endless swirl of questions I couldn't open my mouth to ask.

"That won't be necessary, Laito," Reiji said, opening the door wider and stepping aside, indicating to Laito and Ayato to leave the room. "Subaru will be keeping watch on her tonight."

I dared to look up at Laito's face. He was visibly disappointed and made it known with a dissatisfied groan. He skirted around Ayato, who hadn't moved or made a sound since releasing his hold on me.

Laito squatted down in front of me, his face inches from mine. " _Next time~. . . I'll_ stay home with you, yes?" he grinned, and his smile might have been beautiful, had it not frozen my blood with the sinister lust lurking behind it.

"Tch." Ayato finally broke his silence. "You stupid pervert," he murmured angrily as he turned to walk out of the room. For a moment it looked as though he floundered, perhaps as bewildered as I, but I couldn't be sure.

Laito chuckled and rose, following Ayato from the room. I hadn't realized I had been holding my breath until their frightening presence dissipated. Panting heavily, my eyes stung with tears of relief. But my senses were all too aware that Reiji remained in the room. I gulped back my emotions and looked up at him.

He glared at me through those impossibly red eyes for a moment before saying, "A servant is bringing food. Please make yourself _decent_. You will find clothes in the closet." Before he closed the door he added, "And don't try to escape. It won't go well for you."

The moment the door clicked shut behind him, the world came crashing down around me. My head dropped back against the wall, and I sobbed so hard I could barely breathe.

My chest ached for my son, the pain mixing with the tears of fear and bewilderment and _relief_ flooding down my face -- relief that Ayato and Laito hadn't taken _more_ from my body than just my blood.

 _Though they still might,_ I thought bleakly. _And I won't be able to stop them_.

Sick, and powerless, I hated myself even more for that. . .  _that feeling_. What was that? A pleasure so powerful, that all the pain and illness that had invaded my body for the past two years was gone in those moments he drank my blood?

No, it was _still_ gone.

Sitting there, releasing all the pent up fear and confusion, I still felt drunk, elated, though the feeling was slowly disintegrating.

_I should be very sick right now. No meds, no food. . ._

Normally every joint would ache, every touch would sear my skin, every movement would make me want to vomit.

 _I even woke up with a splitting migraine, and it's gone now._ _What the hell is going on?_

Catching my breath and wiping my eyes, I decided that I should attempt to find some clothes before a servant saw me. I was already mortified enough that the three men -- no, _boys_ \-- had seen me dressed like this.

 _Wait_ , I thought, as I steadily pushed myself up against the wall. _Men or. . . boys? What do I call them?_

At thirty-five, I could be twice their age. But, I didn't want to believe what my mind was already beginning to realize was true.

_They are vampires._

I had always been a logic-minded person, even from a very young age. Monsters under the bed, ghosts in the closet -- I had never believed in those things. My mother had attempted to force me to stay in church, as my father had been a part-time priest. But the bible and sermons had spoken only nonsense to me. I had studied biology in college and taught science to elementary school students before I had gotten sick. Evolution, math, logic. Those made sense to me, the supernatural absolutely did _not_.

Yet, in the past twenty-four hours, evidence of the supernatural had stared me in the face. Logic and reason defied me here.

_They are vampires._

No. There had to be another reason, another explanation for the things I had seen.

But my own mind seemed determined to evaluate the evidence. What did I know about vampires? Only what I'd seen in movies and books. I thought back to what I knew of the ones I'd met thus far. Karlheinz. . . in the flower shop. . . He was impossibly fast, seeming to materialize out of thin air. The other boys, appeared out of nowhere as well. What else?. . . Their inhuman eyes, the coldness of their bodies. . . And Ayato had held me horrifically tight against the wall. But was that my own lack of strength or were they super-humanly strong? 

And then of course, there was the most damning evidence of all: fangs and bloodsucking.

My thoughts swirled chaotically in my skull as I stumbled across the room to the closet, my brain still trying to cope with the insane possibility that vampires actually existed.

The curtains on the oversized windows were opened, allowing the silver light of the waxing moon to show.  _Nighttime_ , I realized. _They seem to only move around in the dark. I wonder if they burn in the sun? Perhaps I should wait for daylight to escape?_

 _N_ _o. . ._  I remembered Ayato's body pressed to mine, drinking my blood. And I remembered Laito's thinly veiled threat. 

_No, I need to get out of here right now._

I threw open the closet doors and gaped at the size of it. The closet could have practically been a bedroom itself. Female clothes of all types filled it to the brim. Dresses, pants, t-shirts -- even gowns -- hung neatly from too many racks to count.

A cluster of gowns in the back caught my attention. _Gowns, or costumes?_  Their floor length material spread out around them in a late 1700s or early 1800s fashion. I touched a particularly beautiful amethyst gown with intricate stitching. The fabric nearly crumbled under my touch. It was old. Very, _very_ old.

My heart thumped in my chest. The words of my captors suddenly shot through my mind. _"You cannot kill her."_

That meant they had killed before.

My pulse quickened as I looked around at the rest of the clothes. So many different styles from so many different eras. Were these the clothes of the other girls they had killed? How _many_?

 _I can't possibly wear any of these,_ I thought tearfully.

I turned around, and my anxiety eased a fraction when I saw my own dress hanging by itself near the door. The white fabric looked freshly washed and pressed. I grabbed it off the hanger and searched for my sweater. The thought of wearing this strapless dress -- even though it was my favorite -- in the presence of these blood-suckers, gave me the chills. I did not want to give them easy access to my skin if I could avoid it. But there was no way I would wear any of these other clothes.

I sighed in exasperation. My sweater was not there.

I hurriedly tore off the absurdly revealing lingerie and tossed it on the floor. Laito's eyes on me in that thing had made me feel dirty and _displayed_. I swallowed in disgust, hoping that he had not been the one to put me in that thing. I would make it a point to stay away from that one.

 _Well, I'm making a point to stay away from_ all of them. _I'm getting the hell out of here._

As I slipped on my shoes, a knock rapped on the door. I heard the hinges creak open and a small, ordinary-looking man appeared with a tray of food. I peeked out from the closet and watched him set the tray on a table at the far corner of the room.

 _Is he a vampire too?_ I wondered, realizing that my mind was already beginning to accept what I didn't want to accept.

The servant looked disheveled and unpolished, very much unlike Karlheinz and his sons, who had an unnatural beauty and grace to them.

 _If he's human, maybe he'll help,_ I suddenly thought.

I pushed open the closet. "Thank you," I said in a quick breath as the servant suddenly averted his eyes and dashed for the door.

"Wait!" I cried, rushing towards him. "They've kidnapped me! Please, I need your help!"

The small man slammed the door in my face, but not before I saw the fear etched across his.

I bit my lower lip in frustration and disappointment. Then my nose caught the scent of the food, and my stomach rumbled painfully. All my thoughts disappeared as a ravaging hunger took over. I bolted to the table and shoved food into my mouth before I was even conscious of reaching for it.

Apparently, they ate western breakfast for dinner. Toast, muffins, bacon, eggs, sausage, hash browns, fruit, yogurt and even pancakes lined the tray. I was amazed so much food could fit on the tray, much less in my stomach. I devoured nearly all of it, to my astonishment.

I hadn't felt this hungry since. . . well, since before I'd fallen ill. In fact, the reason I'd lost so much weight was because food had lost its appeal to me.

_Am I this hungry because they drank my blood?_

Whatever the reason, it didn't matter. The food satiated the intense hunger and restored my energy.

I closed my eyes for a moment and pictured my little Akio. Auburn hair like me, black eyes like obsidian. The sound of his contagious laughter, the feel of warmth in his hugs, every strand of hair on his head, was clear in my mind. The vision gave me courage and strength.

_Don't worry, Akio. I'm coming home._

I slowly opened the bedroom door and tentatively stepped out into the darkened hallway.

 

 

 


	5. Prisoner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri attempts an escape, but has the distinct feeling that something is very wrong.

 

 

When I crept into the hallway, I didn't feel like a prisoner, someone who'd been held captive and taken from her family. Wouldn't a prisoner be locked up? Have a guard? Chains? Ropes? Why did I have a fancy bedroom, unlocked and unguarded? 

_Why did they want me at all?_

The questions made me uneasy.

Reiji had said one of them was staying to watch me tonight, didn't he? My memory, still clogged from the unexpected intoxication of Ayato's bite, couldn't recall who. Where was he?

I tip-toed nervously down the windowless corridor. A line of ancient sconces adorned the walls, dimly lighting the pathway, giving it an eerie, evil vibe. My senses were on high alert, watching for any movement, any sound, as if I were a mouse, prepared to dive into the shadows at the smallest hint of danger.

Hallway after hallway, I traversed the maze-like house, my pace quickening the further I went without finding another living soul, only closed doors which I dared not open.

I searched each hall for a phone as well, and my hopes soared when I turned a corner and found an elegant, gold and white mid-1900s style phone on a corner table. Rushing to pick it up, my shoulders dropped in disappointment when the cord dangled off the hook, broken.

I continued on, my fingers curled into fists, refusing to give up. But my uneasiness grew, scraping under my nerves the further I explored without getting caught.

Finally I encountered a staircase, and I practically flew down two flights in my increasing hurry to escape. My breath burned in my lungs by the last step.

 _Damn. I need to conserve my energy_.

If last night had taught me anything, it was that adrenaline would not lend me strength for long. My joints were already beginning to ache, a trembling pain accumulating in my legs -- though from fear or illness, or both, I wasn't sure.

The staircase led me to a spacious room with familiar black furniture and familiar grey pillars -- the room where I had met the  _vampires_  the night before.  

 _I remember where to go from here!_  

Uncaring about painful joints or weak legs, I sprinted for the entrance hall and the front doors, unable to contain my excitement.

To my utter surprise, the doors were unlocked. I heaved one of the heavy wooden doors open, and it gave way to the breezy night air -- but not before the deafening creak of the hinges bounced noisily off the marble floors.

_Oh god!_

I twisted my head to turn terrified eyes behind me, only to find the space quiet and empty.

A feeling of apprehension crawled across my skin, a distinct sense that something was very wrong.

_It's too easy._

Glancing outside into possible freedom, my heart pounded through my skull, clouding my ability to think cleary. Too many questions filled my mind, but walking out the front door this easily was at the forefront of them all.

Swallowing against the lump of anxiety in the back of my throat, I decided to just take my chances. I inched forward, to the edge of the threshold -- then threw myself into a desperate run across the courtyard.

I didn't care that I left the door open behind me. I didn't care that my back, knees and feet surged with pain. And I didn't care that my lungs could barely take in air.

The black spikes on the gate rose too slowly off the horizon's edge, and I braced myself for whatever may happen next. I expected a yank on my hair or a grab to the arm. But neither occurred by the time I reached the gate, pulling on the bars and gasping for breath.

My heart felt like it was trying to jump out of my chest as I shook the bars with everything I had. But the gate wouldn't budge. With a cry of frustration, I saw that it was locked with a code key panel.

Whipping my head around, I turned, darting into the bushes that lined the fence connected to the gate, hiding from any eyes that might be watching.

I decided on the same plan I'd had before -- to follow the fence. Beyond the bushes, I saw a mass of trees filled the property. I could only hope the woods would clear, and that I would find an end or an opening in the fence, or some place I could climb over it.

On trembling legs, I crept as quickly as I could along the fence, staying out of sight of the mansion. But I hesitated for a split second before entering the woods. The light of the waxing moon had already dipped out of view, and the cover of trees made the space in front of me hauntingly dark. 

 _As long as I crawl along the fence, I'll be fine,_  I told myself.

Being the logically minded person that I'd always been, fear of the dark had never been a problem for me. Ghosts, monsters, the boogeyman didn't exist in the dark. The same things that existed in the light existed in the dark. But as I stood at the woods' black edge, the hairs along my arms stood on end.

_I had thought vampires didn't exist, either._

Closing my eyes, I resolutely gulped back the fear, pushing it way down into the pit of my stomach. I would not let fear stop me from getting home. I had never let fear deter me from so many things in my life. It had tried to overtake me when my adoptive father died when I was nine; it had tried to drown me when my son nearly died in childbirth. In small ways, fear had nearly destroyed my dreams of college and moving to Japan, my possible birthplace. And it had tried to throw me down when I became sick and had to give up my career, my marriage, nearly everything.

But I never gave into fear, or the despair that came with it, and I always kept fighting.

_And the darkness won't stop me now either._

 

* * *

 

I couldn't have said how long I plodded along the fence, tripping over downed branches and logs, catching myself in brambles and scraping my hands on tree bark. Exhaustion crippled my body, and everything was still swathed in darkness, my eyes unable to adjust well enough to avoid the obstacles.

The fence seemed to stretch on forever. I searched for openings, or even holes under the fence that my small, thin form could crawl through. But the heavy wrought iron continued on into the ground as well as probably ten or twelve feet into the air. If a way through the fence was there, I hadn't yet found it.

Fear still threatened to paralyze me, exhaustion demanding I rest. But I couldn't stop. The apprehension I had felt at how easily I escaped the house still clung to me. Though the night was incredibly dark and quiet, I couldn't shake the feeling that they would find me at any moment.

As I urged myself forward, my mind drifted to the reasons behind this terrifying turn of events in my life. My birthname, Kimiko, probably supplied the best clue. My name and a few Japanese words were all I had known when I was found wandering a country road in Germany one night when I was a toddler, maybe three or four years old.

My adoptive mother had changed my name because I would cry anytime someone called me Kimiko. Or so she had told me.

 _Did she change my name for a different reason?_ I remembered being ecstatic at my new name and with my new family. But had my biological family been looking for me?

Karlheinz had said he'd been searching for me all this time. Were my adoptive parents hiding me from him?

Before that night on the dark road, I had no memories, only a lingering feeling of  _something_. . . but I couldn't say what. An investigation led by my adoptive father turned up no clues to my origin, and I had long accepted my status as an adopted child.

I had trusted my father's abilities. He may have been a volunteer priest at Saturday mass, but his day job as one of Germany's top investigators had been his true talent. I knew that if he didn't uncover the truth, then no one would. I lived my life grateful that I had been found and adopted by wonderful people.

But now. . .

My thoughts only deepened my worry. Each step became harder and harder to take, until I fell over an unseen rock or log, my dress tearing as my body hit the dirt. 

With a pained whimper, I laid on the hard ground, rocks and sticks gouging into my sore muscles, prickling underbrush digging into my skin. My breath came in heavy, heaving bursts as I rolled onto my back, cursing my weakness, my body refusing my pleas to keep going.

All at once, a deep, rumbling laughter broke through the quiet forest.

_No!_

Panic pounded through my veins. I bolted upright with a frantic gasp, pain rushing down my spine from the sudden movement. My eyes darted back and forth into the darkness as the laughter died down, giving way to footsteps crunching on the underbrush.

The sound reverberated in my ears, sending a surge of adrenaline through my limbs that allowed me to half-run, half-fall as I forced my body off the ground, blindly scrambling over the rough terrain.

But the earth was like a vice around my ankles, pulling me down. 

_No! Goddamn it, get up!_

Crying out in desperation, I clawed at the ground, frantic to push myself up as footsteps closed in around me. But my body was made of lead, all of my own weight working against me.

"I had debated on chasing you from the start," a husky voice rolled out across the night air. "But where's the fun in that?"

My heart lodged in my throat. A figure emerged out of the darkness, shadows engulfing him. But the glint of his glowing red eyes illuminated bits of his white hair, and I recognized the angry male from the night before. 

Terror solidified to anguish as he closed the distance between us.

 _Get up!_  I begged my pathetic, useless body.  _Come on, g_ _et up!_  

But it ignored me. 

Unbidden, tears spilled from my eyes as my son's beautiful face flashed in my mind. But my chest squeezed with despair as the image quickly faded, replaced by the menacing face now leaning over me. 

"I wanted to see how far my prey could go," he said, amusement laced through his tone. "Sometimes they make it all the way to the lake. I must say, you didn't make it very far. They said you were different so I had hoped to chase you farther."

He knelt down, his elbows on his knees, staring at me. My mouth pressed into a tight line, and my eyes turned to the ground, refusing to look at him. It felt as if I were being taken from my son all over again, and I couldn't bear to look at the creature responsible.

But he put his hand under my chin and forced my face upwards.

I winced at the roughness in his touch. Swallowing back the flow of tears, my eyes reluctantly met his. The intense, glowing red in his irises raked a shiver over my skin, leaving no doubt left in my mind: He wasn't human. _Vampires were real._

"I don't think we were properly introduced. I'm Subaru Sakamaki." After a short pause he chuckled, glancing over my body. "And you're a mess."

I jerked my face away with what little strength I had left, hissing out, "Don't touch me."

A low, throaty laugh rumbled in his chest. With gripping force, Subaru stretched his hand across the back of my neck and pulled me to him, whispering ominously, "Right now your life is in my hands. It's better if you don't piss me off. I'm in a good mood after watching my prey try to escape. So don't push me."

I glared through my tears. "Watching? You just watched me the whole time?" I choked, a growing fury strangling my words.  _All this was for nothing?_

"Hehe," Subaru grinned darkly. "Cats don't want a captive mouse. They want to hunt, don't they?"

Every muscle in my aching body tensed as he leaned closer, hovering quietly by my ear for a long, threatening moment. The danger in his nearness made me tremble all over. Closing my eyes, I held in my anger along with my breath, wondering if the vampire intended to bite.

I felt the air swirl around my previously bitten skin as he breathed in the scent.

"Stop!" I recoiled as his mouth lightly touched the healing wound. But his hand was firmly wrapped around my neck, trapping me in place.

His lips slowly trailed up my throat, and I felt the tips of his fangs lightly graze the surface of my skin, making me shudder. As he stopped just below my earlobe, I braced myself for the inevitable, curling my shaking hands into the ground under me. Pain had already shattered my body after stumbling in the dark for what had seemed like miles, and I didn't think I could endure much more.

But instead of biting down he mumbled, "Hmmm. . . I should have been the one to mess you up like this. . . Last night your boney body looked unattractive, like my fangs would go straight to your bones. . . but now. . . all dirty and helpless like this. . ."

Without even thinking, I shoved the vampire with strength I didn't know I had.

As terrified and as sick as I was, I couldn't stop the anger boiling inside of me -- an anguished fury that the life I had once known had been completely turned upside down and ripped away from me, a fury mixed with an utter despair that I might never make it back to that life, that I might never make it back to my son. The fire in those emotions manifested in my arms, giving me the power to take Subaru off guard and shove his horrible presence away from me.

"I said don't touch me," I gritted out through clenched teeth.

Some part of me knew my actions were reckless and stupid, and on some level, I expected the violent retaliation that came next.

"You will NOT defy me! You are my  _food_!" The vampire growled and yanked me to my feet with one hand, just as his other punched through a nearby tree trunk. Bark and bits of wood sailed through the air, the top of the tree tumbling down into the forest floor with a bone-shattering crash.

Shock slammed my eyes shut, but then ripped them wide open as Subaru grabbed both of my arms and flung his face into mine.

"You WILL obey me! Or I'll fucking break you like this tree! No, I'll utterly wreck you, to the point where there is nothing left!"

Fear shot through my veins, fully replacing the anger that had been there just a moment before. "B-But they said you can't kill me," I stuttered, barely breathing.

For one terrifying second, the look on his face told me he wanted to kill me right then and there. But then his lip lifted up at one corner. "Perhaps we were told not to kill you, but do you really think I care what  _that bastard_  orders? Besides, there are other things I can do." 

The unspoken threat shivered down my spine. I stared at him in horror and he laughed, his fangs gleaming. "That is a nice expression. That look of fear is positively lovely."

Then in one swift movement, Subaru propelled me over his shoulder, my head swinging down over his back.

"Let go of me!" I shouted, my voice hoarse, my fists desperately trying to push myself off of him.

"Shut up!" Subaru growled, squeezing my legs and crushing me against him.

The next few minutes rushed by in a blur, and I wasn't entirely sure I understood what was happening. The wind whipped my hair around my face, and through the tangled strands, I thought I saw the trees sailing by impossibly fast. If Subaru was running or flying, I couldn't tell. The force of his speed glued my body down, and I had no energy left to fight. I finally closed my eyes, hoping I wouldn't vomit.

I must've blacked out for a few moments or longer because the next time I opened my eyes, Subaru was walking down a dank, narrow hallway. I blinked at the rugged, worn stone walls and wondered if we were underground.

I heard metal creak and clank as Subaru stopped. Turning my head, I saw bars jutting out from the stones.

 _A prison cell?_  I thought incredulously. 

Subaru crossed into the dark cell, and a choking scent of rusted iron filled my nostrils. 

 _What is that smell_? My pulse quickened.  _Is that blood?_

_Oh god . . ._

Pulling me from his shoulder, Subaru stood me on my feet. I caught my breath in surprise as my bare feet hit the cold, stone floor.  _I must've lost my shoes while he carried me,_  I thought dismally, trying not to focus on the fear crawling up my throat. I knew the loss of my shoes was the least of my worries.

My legs were too weak to support me, and as soon as Subaru's hands left my waist, I crumpled to the dirty floor in a painful heap, my torn dress fluttering out around me. The vampire only smirked as he stalked to the far side of the cell, lighting a torch on the wall.

Squinting in the sudden light, I took in the frightening surroundings. A distinct, cold feeling crept across the back of my neck. The cell appeared to have some other use besides holding prisoners. Tables bordered the side wall, lined with a variety of strange  _tools_  I didn't recognize.

"Where are we?" My voice wavered, unsure if I wanted the answer to that question as my eyes landed on a chair covered with bloody spikes.

Subaru, standing in front of one of the tables, turned to me, his lips widening into a grin. "You haven't realized what this room is yet?"

I stared at him, unanswering, my breath picking up pace with my heart.

Lifting something up from the table, he said, "This is the torture chamber." 

I blinked at him in shock, my throat closing, every nerve ending in my body freezing in horror.

Subaru laughed, his white hair swaying across one eye as he sauntered towards me. "My father built this room in ancient times for the sole purpose of punishing disobedient humans. . . like you."

Unable to stand, I scrambled backwards on the floor, but my back hit the iron bars. The sound of metal clinking emanated from Subaru's hands, making my blood run cold as he bent over me.

"I didn't do anything!" I managed to shriek, panic building in my chest.

"You tried to escape," he replied matter-of-factly.

"You let me! Besides you people took me from my fa--," I started to say family, but I didn't want them to know I had a son or a family, if they didn't know already. "You took me from my home."

" _This_  is your home now," Subaru grunted. "Now, hold out your hands."

Terror widened my eyes, at the chains dangling from whatever he was holding.

"No," I said, surprised at my own courage -- and dreading what may follow it.

Disgust and impatience twisted Subaru's face. Before I could blink, he violently grabbed my wrist, clamping a worn and rusted shackle around it. "This is why you need  _punishment_. You have no right to refuse me. You need to learn to  _obey_."

"No!" I tried to wrench away, but in the next heartbeat, he cuffed my other wrist. I shuddered, fear gripping me, my courage quickly evaporating. I pulled at the jagged, old steel, but the shackles were too tight to slip even my thin wrists through.

Subaru grabbed the chains attached to the manacles. 

"W-What are you doing?" I asked, my voice tripping over the words in fear.

"Punishing you. What else?" he retorted, pulling the chains upwards and jerking me to my feet. 

I cried out, the rough metal cuffs biting into my wrists. My legs couldn't take the pressure and I stumbled into Subaru. He caught me, his arm looped around my waist.

"Let go of me!" I pushed against him, knowing it was impossible to get away, but trying anyway.

"Tch. Stop struggling!" Gripping me tighter against him, he carried me to the other side of the cell, to a wall that was empty, save for two hooks bolted into the stone.

Before I understood what was happening, Subaru looped the chain from my right wrist onto one hook. Seeing that he intended to hang my left wrist onto the other, I strained against him, pulling at the chains.

"No! Stop!" I cried, trembling at the thought of what he was planning to do the me. But Subaru easily ignored me. In the next instant, both of my arms hung from the wall on either side of my head.

 _Oh god. . . I'm not going to be able to stand as soon as he lets go of my waist._  I swallowed hard, knowing the jagged metal cuffs would tear my wrists open under my weight. And in the back of my mind, I knew that would probably be the least painful thing he could do to me.

Subaru paused momentarily, just holding me, as if he were purposefully trying to draw out the moment.

"Don't let go," I whispered, tilting my head back to look up at him, some part of me hoping he had a shred of something that resembled human decency. "Please. I won't be able to stand." 

"Oh, so now you don't want me to let go of you?" His tone matched mine, almost a whisper. "Well, what kind of punishment would that be?" His satisfied chuckle rumbled through me. With a cruel smirk, he released his hold on me and stepped back.

With his support gone, my leg muscles shook under my weight. I gritted my teeth, pushing my back against the wall in an attempt to keep myself standing, but it only minimally helped. Biting the inside of my cheek, I held back the whimpers gathering in my throat as I struggled against the chains and the mangled steel slowly breaking open my skin.

I turned a level glare on Subaru, who was just standing there, watching me struggle.

The corners of his mouth turned upwards in a dark smile, his fangs glinting behind his lips. "Now, that's a nice sight. You're really quite beautiful like that."

My stomach knotted, the look in his eyes breaking a sweat down my back, despite the chill in the stone I was desperately trying to brace myself against.

Breathing hard and wincing against the pain, time seemed to stretch on forever while Subaru stood quietly, enjoying my struggle to stay on my feet. I kept my teeth gripped together, holding back tears. Every inch of my body hurt, every movement making the aged shackles cut against my skin.

After a while, Subaru approached one of my wrists. I held my breath, my gaze anxiously following his every move. He leaned into my skin, his shoulders expanding as he inhaled deep into his lungs. My face flinched with revulsion as I watched his tongue flick out and lick the fresh blood.

 _How could he? How could someone so beautiful be so cruel?_  

With his lips pressed to my wrist, Subaru's eyes turned to meet mine. I held his red gaze and let him see my growing contempt for him.

A flicker of amusement spread over his features. The metal chain clinked softly as he pulled his lips away, the sound of dirt and grime crunching under his shoes, filling the silence as he slowly stepped in front of my face.

I wrestled with the chains to hold my weight. Because of the strapless dress, the worn stone wall scraped at my bare shoulder blades. But despite the pain and difficulty, I did not avert my eyes. I stared at Subaru in defiance, letting the anger feed my courage once again. 

The vampire cupped the side of my face, his touch soft and almost loving.

"I was going to use some of these tools to play with you, but now. . ., " he smiled, "I think I'll just break your spirit instead." 

I desperately wanted to hold onto my bravery, but his words had the intended effect. Terror shot through me, overtaking the anger. I gulped hard, trying to swallow back the fear and ask him what he intended to do. But the question died in my throat. I was too afraid that opening my mouth, even to let out a whimper, would unleash words that I didn't want to hear coming from my own voice -- pleading words that would take my dignity:  _Please don't hurt me! I'm sorry! It's not my fault! Please let me go!_  But that's probably what he wanted. So instead, I bit down, trapping the words on my tongue.

Subaru threw me a grin over his fangs, apparently satisfied with the change in my expression. "Well, before we get to that, I want a proper drink," he said, eyeing my pulse throbbing in my neck. 

 _Oh no. . ._  The thought of him drinking my blood sent ice through my veins.

I tried not to let my breathing turn frantic as he cleared dirt and hair off my shoulders. Lifting me off the wall, Subaru slid both of his arms behind my back. I was grateful to have the pressure off my body, but I knew -- it would come at a cost. The pain from Ayato's bite, and his father's, was still all too fresh in my mind.

"You smell really good. It's been driving me crazy. . .," Subaru breathed softly into the crook of my neck, rending goosebumps across my flesh. 

"Stop. . . don't. . .," I dared to let my voice out, struggling weakly against him. I knew it was useless; he wasn't going to stop, and he wasn't going to let me go. But staying quiet and compliant in his arms made me feel even more powerless than the shackles and chains.

His voice heavy and dark, Subaru growled, "You do not have the right to refuse me."

With jarring force, his fangs plunged into my shoulder, sending shock waves throughout my body. I jerked on the chains, gasping out in agony.

The more I struggled, the more greedily he drank, clinging to me tighter. And the more crimson liquid that he pulled from my flesh, the more strength he took from my body. With each swallow he released a gratified moan that sent chills across my back and down my legs.

Soon that  _feeling_  -- that inexplicable, euphoric heat -- began seeping down my shoulder and through my veins, flowing all the way to my toes.

Subaru lapped and groaned as if he felt the same ecstasy. He pulled his fangs out, his lips moving, skimming across my skin to my collarbone. I could barely hear his voice whisper between breaths, "Sweet. . . your blood is so.. . . my head is spinning. . . at this rate. . . I’ll really ravage you. . ."

The chains jingled as I tried to wrench away from him, but my strength was already gone. Subaru pressed me to him even harder, biting down into my collarbone. My strangled cry turned into a gasping moan as the pain quickly dissipated, replaced by a wonderful, soothing warmth. I cringed, inwardly cursing my body for betraying me.

But the invading pleasure only grew stronger, spreading through my limbs, humming over every nerve ending, over all the pain. My arms slackened in the chains, and I couldn't stop myself from melting into the cruel vampire -- which only sickened me.

"More. . . not enough." Subaru's lips traced the words across my neck to my other shoulder. I couldn't feel the pain anymore when he bit down, only the heat and the tingling. I wouldn't have known the difference if his arms had turned to clouds; I was already floating. 

Yet, strangely enough, my legs stopped trembling, my knees feeling stronger beneath me despite the intoxication.

 _What odd pairings of sensations,_  I thought.  _Strength and weakness, pain and pleasure, disgust and elation._

But then it struck me in that moment what a disturbingly intimate act this was, with our bodies pressed this closely together, and him taking pleasure from mine without my consent. I shuddered, realizing that I couldn't be sure there wasn't  _more_  he wanted to take from my body without my consent.

"Ahh. . . I can feel your blood flowing in me. . .," Subaru said in a daze, finally pulling back after what felt like hours. Without letting go, he relaxed his hold on me, both of us panting heavily. "Hehe, amazing. . . feeling like this. . . You’re really. . ."

I didn't say anything, didn't look up at him. I just stood there in his arms, my head down, my chest rising and falling, feeling completely weak and utterly at his mercy. 

And hating myself for how amazing I felt.

"Well. . . I was going to kill you. . . if your blood had tasted bad," he said, a smile evident in his tone. "But I think I'll let you live. . . and have some fun with you. At least. . . until I get bored."

I finally lifted my head, staring him straight in the eyes. "You're a monster," I breathed, my throat thick with revulsion. I knew such an insult wouldn't affect him, but something inside of me just needed to say it.

But my lips parted in surprise as a shadow passed over Subaru's face, something quietly flaring in his eyes, something I couldn't quite read. Sadness? Loathing?

"You're right. I am a monster," he said, his voice hardened and solemn.

He withdrew his arms from my waist. I braced myself for the pain, for my body to crumble under its own weight. But my brows shot up in surprise. I didn't hang in agony as I'd expected; my legs somehow managed to hold me up. Instead of weakness and exhaustion, my body felt light, feathery, and warm. And even the cuts that the shackles sliced into my skin had ceased to hurt. In fact, everything had ceased to hurt.

_Did vampire bites have painkilling effects?_

Subaru briefly looked as surprised as I, but appeared to give it little thought as he turned and walked to the chamber door.

"Where are you going?" I croaked, my voice quivering in fear more than I intended.

"I'm going to leave you here for a while to think about your actions. When you scream and beg and plead for me to release you, then I'll be back." He pulled the door shut behind him with a deafening sound of finality.

"Wait!" I cried, my eyes wide in disbelief as I watched him through the bars. "You can't be serious!" I was glad he wasn't going to torture me with any of the tools on the tables, but still -- leaving me alone in a place like this, reeking of blood and chained to the wall? For how long?

Subaru didn't glance twice as he strolled out of sight, his footsteps echoing off the underground hallway.

"Just yell for me when you're ready," I heard him call back.

Silence fell down over the cell, the only sound my ragged breathing. Leaning back against the wall with a frustrated cry, my shoulders sagged, dropping in defeat. As I stared at my terrifying surroundings, I shivered in spite of the heat and intoxication still simmering in my veins. I swallowed hard as the walls pulsed, seeming to close in around me, the reality of my situation finally beginning to hit me.

_I really am a prisoner._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is inspired by one of Subaru's chapters in the first game. In that chapter though, he chained Yui in the cell for a lot less - just for bumping into him (Such a nice guy lmao). Oh, and I also included a few quotes from his original drama cd in this chapter too.
> 
> [Here](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2012/02/05/diabolik-lovers-sakamaki-subaru/) is the link to the translation for Subaru's drama cd. All credits for the translation go to the translator. 
> 
> [Here](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2014/01/22/diabolik-lovers-sakamaki-subaru-2/) is Subaru's route summary. Dark 2 is the dungeon scene.
> 
>  
> 
> *********************
> 
> And also I just want to add that the painkilling effects are not canon. That is my own original idea, so if you see other people using it in their fanfics, they're copying me. In fact, I've searched all over the internet and I can't find anyone else ever using that idea before. The euphoric effect is my own idea as well. In canon, Yui does feel pleasure from a vampire bite, but it's the type of pleasure a masochist gets from feeling pain. The euphoric effect in my story is something different, and I will explain that and the painkilling effect later on.


	6. A Warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri is surprised to receive help from one of the vampires.

 

Time could have sped up or slowed down, and I never would have known the difference. Once the torch burned out, and I was left alone in total darkness with nothing but the overwhelming stench of old, dried blood and my own fresh blood, I lost all concept of time.

The euphoric, numbing effects of Subaru's bites lasted longer than Ayato's had -- presumably because Subaru had bit me more -- and I found myself floating into a painless sleep, my head leaning on my arms and the stone wall.

I woke several times, drifting in and out of consciousness, and each time the pain returned bit by bit, until it flared in every corner of my body. My legs began struggling under my weight, my back scraped raw from leaning against the coarse stone.

Eventually, I writhed in agony whenever my legs gave way and my body hung by my wrists. The sharp and aged edges of the shackles sheared my skin, and a sticky warmth drained slowly down my arms, dripping onto the grimy floor. Through the fog in my head, I wondered vaguely if I could die from the blood loss.

But somewhere within me, I was grateful that the physical pain distracted me from the emotional pain, which was just as torn and mangled as my wrists. It kept Akio's face out of my mind, kept me from imagining the tears spilling down his cheeks because I hadn't come home yet. I couldn't bear the thought of never seeing him again, a thought that would rip my insides apart. I didn't want to think about how stupid I'd been, assuming I could just waltz out the front door and run home to him. Focusing on the pain consuming my flesh was far easier than allowing myself to feel the pain wrenching out my soul.

 _Besides, that's exactly what he wants. He wants me to give in to despair, and cry for him,_ I thought bitterly of the cruel vampire who'd locked me in here, and I refused to give him that satisfaction. _He already had his fun chasing me down, chaining me up and drinking my blood. The bastard won't get anything else from me,_ I resolved.

At some point between consciousness, I was distantly aware of metal scratching against metal and the sound of the chamber door opening. The darkness surrounding me was too thick to see, or perhaps my eyes were too weak to open. I could only listen as footsteps grated towards me, seeming as if they were coming at me from miles away.

I struggled to stay conscious as I felt a powerful presence stirring the air around me. I wanted to scream: _"What do you monsters want with me?! Let me out of here!"_

But the only sounds able to leave my mouth were weakened gasps and whimpers. Chained and helpless, I shuddered, a pool of tears adding to the darkness clouding my vision.

Surprise mixed with shock when a warm rush of relief flooded through my veins. A latch had clicked and my wrists dropped from the shackles, one and then the other. Strong arms cradled behind my back and knees, lifting me up and carrying me like a baby.

My head lolled to the side, resting against the chest that held me. Drawing in a lung full of air, my body sank heavily into the arms around me.

Subconsciously, I choked out a nearly inaudible whisper, "Thank you."

Before I slipped again into dreamless sleep, I thought I imagined the white-haired vampire scoff, "You are a really stupid woman."

 

* * *

 

Voices echoed through my ears. Hazy and distant, they hummed through the dark, like bees in an hidden, unseen hive. Words slowly broke through. Incomprehensible at first, the voices gradually became louder, more discernable. Soon the words formed sentences, and I strained to hold onto them before they drifted into the darkness.

"She might have died down there."

 _Did I recognize that voice?_ It seemed remotely familiar. Was it talking about me?

" _He_  said that won't happen."

I _did_ recognize that tempestuous voice.

 _Subaru_.

I felt my pulse jump, but oddly I didn't feel fear. _Am I dreaming? Everything feels strange. . ._

"So do you believe him then?"

"Tch. Maybe." His voice again, low and husky.

My mouth became aware of a liquid, a sweet, lovely liquid. I breathed the taste in.

"Ah, I think she's waking up."

I tried to open my eyes, but they felt so heavy, as if someone had stacked bricks on my lids. Another drop of the sweet liquid caressed my lips and I felt the weight on my eyes beginning to lift. A white fog filled my vision as my eyelids struggled to open. I blinked several times, and slowly, harsh red eyes under a pair of glasses came swimming into view.

"Ah, it's about time," Reiji said, putting a dropper into a small vial, extracting some purple liquid and bringing it steadily to my mouth.

Somehow I had the energy to turn my head, and the drop of liquid fell onto the pillow under me. Whatever he was giving me, even if tasted heavenly and made me float, I wanted no part of it.

"Good grief," Reiji clicked his tongue in disapproval. "This isn't poison. You should feel honored that I'm helping you." The vampire lowered a glare at me and set the vial on a table next to him.

Focusing my eyes, I noticed I was on a table myself, something not unlike an operating table. The room appeared to be a study of some sort, or perhaps a laboratory. Books lined the walls, along with shelves of various liquids and bottles and flasks that reminded me of my chem lab class in college.

I also noticed darkness spilling in through the elegant windows. My sluggish brain felt like it was swirling inside my skull as I tried to gather my thoughts. How many days had I been here? How much time had gone by? Was it still the same night or the next one? Every time I woke up after losing consciousness, it was nighttime, and I wondered if I'd ever see sunlight again.

_Or my son. . ._

A profound sadness tightened deep inside my chest, but I inhaled a long breath and forcefully shoved the emotion away. I knew I couldn't allow those feelings to overtake me, or I'd never remain clear-headed enough to make it out of this situation alive.

Reiji sighed. "You should consider yourself lucky. I will bring you tea that will help restore your energy. You will not refuse it, do you understand?"

My eyelids fluttered a few times at Reiji, too tired to protest but also too weak to agree.

His eyes thinned into slits as he reached out and gripped my chin with his white gloved hand. "Do you need to be disciplined further?"

My body finally responded with fear at the octave drop in his voice, giving me the ability to shake my head.

"Good." Reiji's confident sneer told me that he knew exactly how much he frightened me.

His chair grazed the floor as he pushed back and stood, the way he towered over me nearly knocking the air from my chest. Reiji's lips lifted in a smirk as he removed his glove and placed it on the table next to the vial. But he did nothing more terrifying than turn away from me.

With a breath of relief, my eyes lazily swept to the ceiling, my brain muddling in a stupor, a side effect from whatever Reiji had given me, I assumed. Suddenly mesmerized by the intricate pattern painted above me, I barely acknowledged the vampire's footsteps grating away from me and the door clicking shut behind him as he left.

A voice in the back of my mind tried pushing me to get up, to run, to get the hell out of there, now that I was no longer chained in some horrifying torture cell. But my body refused to cooperate. I could do no more than close my eyes as I began to drift off to sleep again.

But my lids snapped back open when I heard a different set of footsteps coming toward me, another presence I hadn't realized was still in the room with me.

"Are you an idiot?"

My heart slammed against my chest, my head whipping around at the sound of Subaru's voice. Inch by inch he closed the distance between us until he was standing over me.

Discovering the strength to sit up, I scrambled away from him. I tried to grip the edges of the table, but the room lurched and rolled, and I wasn't fast enough. With a yelp, I felt myself falling backwards. Clenching my eyes and teeth, I braced for impact. But instead of the hard floor hitting my back, I felt cold arms catching me, lifting me up.

"Let go of me!" I wished my voice hadn’t quivered as I struggled to break free of those arms that had caused me so much pain.

"Tch, just stop," Subaru grunted and slung me into a soft, red armchair. He stood over me, crossing his arms and pinning me with the weight of his scarlet glare. "What is wrong with you?"

I swallowed hard, biting down on my lower lip as I fought the fog in my mind. "What are you talking about?"

Subaru's jaw twitched and he paused a moment before answering. " _Why_ didn't you call for me?" His voice was lower, with a hint of something that sounded almost. . . _disappointed?_

The contrast of his words against the tightly leashed violence in his stance took me by surprise, momentarily silencing me.

But then I remembered the sadistic smile on his face as he had threatened to break my spirit. I remembered the agony that had overtaken my body after he left me chained to the wall, practically bleeding to death.

A lump of anger burned the back of my throat. "Why would I ever call for _you_?" I snapped out.

The vampire leveled me with another look, those red eyes sharp as daggers. "You should have called for me so you wouldn't have had to endure _this_." Subaru snatched my wrist, as if it were my own fault that they were injured and wrapped in bandages. "Are you really that prideful? That you'd _die_ before giving in to me?"

"I would never give you that satisfaction, _ever_." I pursed my lips and glared at him, eagerly letting the anger roll over me. It gave me courage and relief from the fear, gave me something to hold onto when the world that I'd known was quickly slipping away from me.

But the look that flashed across the Subaru's face made me immediately regret my words. My fury dissolved and fear flowed back into its place as he threw his face into mine, slamming his hands onto the armrests on either side of me. I instantly shrank back, flattening myself into the cushions. 

"You need to get rid of that pride. It will get you killed," Subaru said, his words steady and calm despite the anger splashed across his face. His muscles tightened threateningly, but his tone was more of a warning than a threat, one with an edge of something that I was almost tempted to read as _concern_. 

Concern. Disappointment.

I blinked in bewilderment. Suddenly, I was struck by something else. I remembered the strong arms that had wrapped around me, releasing me from the torture room. The tension left my shoulders as the venom drained from my voice. "It was you, wasn't it?"

Confusion spread in Subaru's eyes as he slowly eased away from me. "What?"

"You let me out, even though I didn't call for you. . ." My words slowed as I realized that it didn't _matter_ that he had been the one to release me. _He_ was the one who had chained me; _he_ was the reason I had endured so much pain; _he_ was the reason my wrists were now shredded and bandaged.

So why was I now feeling a bizarre sense of gratefulness toward him? 

Subaru seemed just as baffled by my reaction as I was. He shook his head, his white hair shaking softly across his forehead. "Tch. As I thought, you really are stupid."

He straightened his back and sighed with annoyance. Turning from me, he stalked to the door just as Reiji opened it.

 _He's right, I am an idiot,_ I chastised myself. The red-eyed vampire had been cruel and merciless, and more importantly, he had prevented me from getting back to Akio. Gritting my teeth, I resolutely forced myself to focus on how much he'd hurt me and _not_  on the fact that he'd helped me.

Subaru impatiently held the door as Reiji entered with a tray of pristine, expensive-looking chinaware. Reiji crossed the room, setting the tray on the coffee table in front of me. Without another word or glance in my direction, Subaru marched out and closed the door behind him.

My attention turned back to Reiji as he cleared his throat.

"Why are you sitting in my chair?" He loomed over me, intimidating the words out of my mouth.

"S-Subaru. . .," I managed, trailing off and pointing towards the door.

"Well, you will need to clean that chair. You are absolutely filthy, and I do not want you touching anything else." Reiji used his finger to push his glasses up his nose, and I couldn't help noticing how stunning he was in his clean cut suit, his face and his movements just as polished as the expensive fabric. All of it was completely at odds with his terrifying glare.

Severing my gaze from his, I looked down at myself, and I realized what he said was true: I _was_ filthy. My white dress was torn, streaked with dirt and blood. And so was my skin.

Tears gathered in my eyes. My body resembled what had happened to my life. I desperately hoped my life wasn't as irreparable as my dress, that I would escape this nightmare and make it back home.

"Well, are you not even going to apologize?" Reiji broke me out of my thoughts and I glanced up at him, swallowing back my tears. He stared at me expectantly, his eyebrows raised.

_He wants me to apologize? For what?_

The dark-haired vampire sighed with exasperation and sat in the chair across from me. My eyes followed him as he moved, dumbfounded and not understanding what I should be apologizing for.

He seemed to sense my confusion. "You tried to escape, when I specifically told you not to do so. You came in here, half-dead and refused my treatment. And now you've gotten my chair dirty." He leaned forward and poured tea into two cups. "I'm amazed at myself for even letting you drink this. You better be thankful."

He reached over and handed the cup to me, his eyes boring into me with hostility and disdain. I took it wordlessly, too stunned to speak.

_He wants me to apologize for all that?_

"And now you're not even thanking me. You need _discipline_."

The emphasis that he placed on that one word sent a shock of fear through my chest. "I'm-I'm sorry. And th-thank you."

The apology tumbled out of my mouth too fast. My trembling hands shook the teacup as I brought it to my lips. And I cringed at myself for apologizing at all.

_Why did I say that? I have nothing to be sorry for. Is he really scaring me that much? Perhaps being locked in that torture chamber had more of an effect on me than I realize. . ._

"Hmph," Reiji smirked, and I suspected he was happy that he'd frightened me. "Don't break my cup. I dislike having you touching it as it is. It is rare porcelain of the highest quality."

The flavor that hit my tongue momentarily melted any fear. It was positively delectable.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Reiji took a sip of his own tea. "You should feel very privileged that I've let you taste it."

"Y-yes. I appreciate it very much," I said, though an undercurrent of annoyance at his arrogance filtered through my voice.

"So, have you learned your lesson that you cannot escape? Or do I need to punish you further until you do?"

Reiji regarded me as calmly as if he'd asked me about the weather. He leaned toward me, resting his chin on his hand, his elbow on his knee, making the sweet taste of the tea turn bitter in my mouth.

I remained silent for a long moment as my mind fought to process his words. The truth was, I fully intended to escape; I would never stop trying. My heart _ached_ for my son, and I couldn't imagine ever _not_ trying to get back to him, no matter what I endured. If anything, the night chained to the wall made me want to escape even more.

"Yes, I have learned my lesson. I - I promise," I said as convincingly as I could. "It's apparent I'm locked on the property and can't escape even if I wanted to." As I said the words, a sliver of doubt wove its way into my stomach. Just how _was_ I going to escape this fortress full of vampires?

I quickly pushed the thought away, saving it for later. Instead, I carefully held Reiji's harsh red gaze, willing my true intentions to stay hidden.

His eyes narrowed and a muscle in his jaw ticked. My breathing turned shallow, and I gulped down a rising sense of fear: What was he going to do to me if he didn't believe me?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the game Reiji is very protective of his tea and doesn't view Yui as worthy enough to drink it in the beginning. But in the cds he gives it to her. That's what I'm going by here. I hope it doesn't seem ooc.


	7. Unwanted Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri receives unwanted "help" from a certain vampire.
> 
> *Trigger warning for violence and sexual assault*

 

_I suppose he bought my lie after all._

Instead of carting me off to the dungeon, Reiji had regarded me as if I were something disgusting on the bottom of his shoe and insisted I leave his presence immediately to shower.

After sending one of the mute, seemingly human servants to guide me, I now stood in the bathroom -- apparently "my" bathroom -- in amazement; it could have been bigger than my mother's apartment. Beige and black speckled granite counter tops gleamed in the soft, yellow lighting, and the lighting itself made the beige walls appear yellow. An enormous walk-in shower rose out of the corner, encircled by intricately etched tile pillars. The jacuzzi tub, set in a beautifully curtained bay window, easily could have fit three or four people.

Slowly walking to the mahogany framed mirrors, I leaned on the counter top, digesting my appearance. I could see why Reiji wanted me to bathe: I looked as bad as I felt.

Blood and dirt caked my hair, giving an unnatural reddish hue to the already red highlights. I removed sticks and leaves still embedded in the knotted tangles from my run through the woods. Tears had smeared the dirt on my face, leaving rivers of mud behind. Scratches flecked my arms and legs, but the cuts weren't deep and would likely be totally gone in a day or two.

My shoulder blades bore the brunt of injuries aside from my wrists. The rugged stone wall had utterly grated the skin, making it look like road rash. And it hurt like hell.

And my dress. . . well, it was a lost cause. I didn't care about the dress anymore. All I cared about was surviving and getting home. 

 _I should try getting the hell out of here now. ._ . But as I met my dull, exhausted eyes in the mirror, I knew I wouldn't be able to walk across the mansion, not when I barely had the strength to even stand.

Looking down, my fingertips glided lightly over the vampire bites speckled across my skin. Nearly all them had completely healed, resembling only faint, tiny bug bites.

_"As I expected, you heal quickly from vampire bites."_

Wasn't that what Karlheinz had said?

_But why?_

Sighing at my unanswered questions, I passed a hand over my face, looking forward to a hot shower to mull over my thoughts and figure out a plan of escape. Perhaps I'd soak in a hot bath afterwards as well.

 _I'd say I've earned it after what I've been through_ , I thought gloomily.

Turning from the mirror, I dared to unwrap my wrists. Dread at what I would find pulsed through me. How much more had the jagged metal cuffs sheared them open after I had lost consciousness?

As I rolled the gauze away, my brow furrowed at the lack of blood on the white fabric, my eyes stretching wide as I tore the last bits of the bandage off. Tossing the gauze in the trash, I hurriedly unwrapped the other wrist.

I stood in stunned silence, staring at my wrists for a long, bewildered moment.

"Surprised you're healing so fast?"

I let out a startled shriek at the cheerful voice suddenly behind me. Reeling in shock, I fell backwards.

But Laito caught me before my rear end hit the ground. "I'm sorry,~" he laughed airily. "Did I scare you?"

"What are you doing in here?! Get out!" I demanded, shaking him off of me.

"Awww, Bitch-chan," Laito pouted mockingly.

"And don't call me that!" I snapped, my initial shock wearing off, giving rise to annoyance. "I have a name! It's Sayuri! Now, please leave!"

"I prefer Bitch-chan, since, well, you _are_ a bitch, no?" he chided, moving closer.

"What?" Automatically, I inched away, backing into the counter top.

"Telling someone to leave who has come to _help_ you. . . isn't that being a bitch, Bitch-chan?" Before I could move, Laito closed in, placing a hand on either side of me on the counter top -- trapping me.

With his hat conspicuously missing, Laito's red hair fell in messy waves around his face, and his bright green eyes were glossed with playfulness. It made him look young, beautiful and not at all dangerous. But his sudden appearance in the bathroom and the way he was invading my personal space put my nerves on high alert despite my exhaustion.

"You came to help me?" I swallowed heavily, suspiciously. "Well, I think I'm okay. I don't need any help." I brushed his hand aside and tried to move.

Laito stopped me, grabbing my unbandaged wrist just below the almost healed injury. Though it didn't hurt, I winced.

He brought my wrist to his nose and sniffed. "Ah, Subaru-kun cleaned this up for you." He lifted his gaze to my eyes. "Vampire saliva has healing properties, didn't you know?"

I blinked in surprise. "Is that why I'm healing so fast?"

Laito lowered my arm from his nose, but didn't release it. He cocked his head to the side and slid his fingers across the bites on my neck and shoulder.

"Well, it seems you are _extra_ susceptible to our healing abilities," he said thoughtfully, his fingers drifting to the bite under my collarbone, lingering there for far too long.

"Please leave me alone." I cringed back under his prolonged touch, my voice not as forceful as I intended. "I just want to take a shower and go to bed."

"Ah, but that's why I came to help you, Bitch-chan." Laito grabbed my upper arms and spun me around to face our reflections in the mirror. "Look." He gathered my tangled and bloodied hair, laying it over my shoulder. "Subaru-kun neglected to disinfect your back. It _hurts_ , doesn't it?"

A sharp gasp parted my lips as, without warning, the vampire's tongue slithered painfully over the wounds on my shoulder blades.

"What are you doing?!" I exclaimed, my hands pressing hard into the counter top.

"Helping you, of course, Bitch-chan. Didn't you hear what I _said_? This will make you heal faster." He slurped across my skin, entirely too loudly, sending a tremor over my flesh.

I bit my lip at the unpleasant sensation. "You don't have to do this. I'll heal fine on my own. . . Seriously, stop."

He didn't reply, but slurped again as his tongue reached the top of my shoulder, his heavy-lidded gaze meeting mine in the mirror.

"Even mixed with dirt, your blood is sweet. So _sweet_.~ I've been wanting to taste it for _days_." His lips brushed against my ear, and I heard the desire dripping from his voice. Pressing his pelvis to me, I felt a hardness against my backside. "I want _more_ , Bitch-chan."

My insides clenched, cold fear gripping me: he definitely was not there to help me. 

"I told you not to call me that," I bit out as I gathered all my strength into my elbow and slammed it backwards into his stomach.

The second he doubled back, I raced to the door and flung it open, only to have it shut back in my face. Laito's hand pressed firmly on the door above me and I ducked under him. Fleeing to the other side of the bathroom, I stopped in front of the shower door.

Laito walked gracefully towards me, an entertained smirk on his face. "Didn't Subaru-kun teach you how things work around here?~"

I opened the shower and climbed inside, closing the door. My head, muddled with fear and exhaustion, couldn't think of anything else except putting a barrier between Laito and I. When he stopped in front of the glass and pulled the handle, I realized my mistake.

"Stay away from me," I said, backing up -- my eyes darting around the shower, taking in the ceramic tiled walls, the faucet handles, the double shower heads, the bottles of soap and shampoo on a shelf, looking for an escape or a weapon or anything to help me.

"Subaru-kun should have told you. You are our food. You can't refuse us." He shut the door behind him and my heart lurched into my throat as he closed in on me.

"Your food? I thought I was your bride. . ." I suddenly remembered what they had said that first night.

Laito stopped midstep and said, "Brides are not the same in the demon world as they are in the human world. . . especially not for you.~"

_The demon world??_

My mouth fell open, my brain unable to wrap itself around that statement.

"So I'm your bride and your food?" I asked, not really processing what he said, but trying to keep him talking while I searched for a way around him.

"Hmm. . . I guess you're right." Laito began to close the last three or four feet between us in the enormous shower.

I edged sideways, slowly, seeing a possible escape. "So what does that mean? Why me?"

Laito's eyes glimmered. "Ah~, I wonder. I _could. . ._  tell you all I know."

He stood in front of me now, exactly where I wanted him. But his offer of telling me what he knew stopped me in my tracks. "You'll tell me?" I asked, puzzled.

"Of _course_ ,~" he smiled. "But, you know, life is about give and take. What will you give _me_ in return?"

I eyed him cautiously. Laito certainly seemed to know why I had been brought here, but what did he want?

He put his finger to his lips in exaggerated thoughtfulness. "Ah, I know. I will tell you everything I know and in return, you will obey _everything_ I ask of you."

I stared in disbelief. The emphasis he placed on that word -- _everything_ \-- made his underlying meaning perfectly clear.

"It's a fair trade,~" he jeered, waving out a hand like he'd just made me the deal of the century.

"There's no way I'd agree to that!" It struck me then that he had no intention of telling me anything. He was just toying with me. My anger flared again and I couldn't keep it out of my voice. "If anything, you should obey _me_. I'm probably twice your age, your _elder_."

This brought a long laugh out of him, his fangs glinting brightly in the light. "Bitch-chan, I know you haven't aged like us, but _twice_ our age? You aren't hundreds of years old, are you?"

My eyebrows sprung upwards in disbelief. _Hundreds?!_

 _That means they_ are _immortal then?_

Laito's laughter died down, and he regarded me quietly, a sly half-smile creeping across his face. A terrible stillness overtook him, and my mind blanked in fear; I couldn't think of anything else to keep him talking. 

Sensing he was about to attack, I quickly reached for the faucet handle and yanked it down.

The blast of water hit him squarely in the face.

Wasting no time, I bolted around him and threw the shower door open. But before I even had time to jump out, a force around my waist jerked me backwards, sailing my body across the newly wet tile floor. My back slammed into the shower wall, knocking the breath out of my lungs.

Dazed, my face opened and closed in a grimace as I tried to breathe. Jarring, brutal pain pulsated through my ribs and spine, and I could feel my consciousness ebbing. My chest heaved violently as I tried to push myself off the hard floor.

Hearing movement, my eyes shot upwards, looking for the vampire through a curtain of long soggy hair streaked across my face.

Laito towered by the shower door, shrugging his hooded jacket off his shoulders and kicking his shoes off his feet. He closed the door and turned to face me. He hadn't bothered to shut the water off, and the sound was deafening, magnifying the anger in his cat-like eyes. But his voice remained playful, giggling as he spoke. "Bitch-chan, if you wanted to shower with me, you should have just _said_ so."

Before I could even blink, he crossed the shower, thrusting a hand around my throat. He slid me up the wall by my neck, choking out the air I was already having trouble breathing.

"Usually I prefer to take showers _naked_ , but we can do it with our clothes on if you insist." He snatched me off the wall and drove my face into the shower water.

The blast was freezing and would have taken my breath away had I been able to breathe. The water filled my mouth and nose, and I struggled wildly against his hold, my body flailing.

"I should have told you, Bitch-chan," Laito said, his voice loud over the running water, but low and angry, terrifyingly devoid of his cheery facade. "It's best if you don't irritate me. Women who do that aren't allowed to exist. In fact, it makes me happy to tear them apart."

Desperate to breathe, my lungs felt as if they were crushing in on themselves. I clawed at his arm, frantically digging my fingers into his skin.

But Laito only laughed, holding me with ease under the water. Panicked, I became unglued, fighting with every fiber of my being. But the more I fought, the louder Laito laughed -- the sound billowing all around me, jolting through my entire body.

"What's the matter? Does it _hurt_? You look like you want to say something? Hmmm? Hey, I know!" Laito's voice began to take on an almost possessed tone -- mad and hysteric. "How about you try begging? Say 'Please stop!' and 'Please save me!' What's that? You can't say anything?"

He threw his head back, laughing like an insane maniac. Panic slammed into me as I felt the world start to go black.

_He's really killing me!_

In the second before I thought my eyes would close forever, Laito suddenly released me, and I dropped to the cold, wet floor.

My face now out of the water, my lungs went into a frenzy, choking and gasping for air. With my cheek pressed into the hard ceramic, my mouth gaped like a fish on land, my chest heaving like flapping gills. I felt every bit like a dying fish.

I was vaguely aware of Laito turning off the freezing water. "Ah~ah," he said sing-songily into the now quiet shower, his voice calm, as if he'd never had that moment of complete madness. He knelt down over me. "That was really _painful_ , wasn't it?"

My eyes were barely open, staring straight ahead. I wasn't even sure I comprehended what he was saying or doing. All I could focus on was taking one breath after another, absorbing as much precious air as I could.

"Are you crying?" Laito asked, amused. "It's soooo nice, that expression of yours. . . so _arousing_.~"

I realized what he said was true. Between breaths, ragged sobs wracked my body.

_How stupid am I, to think that little stunt would stop a vampire?_

_But what am I suppose to do? Just stand there and let them do what they want? I just can't do that. . ._

"Well," Laito said with cruel casualness, "it was a good decision to shower with our clothes on. That white dress is soaked and positively _see-through_. You look soooo _erotic_ , Bitch-chan."

My stomach knotted at his words as I lay almost lifeless, shivering and trembling on the freezing, wet floor.

"Hmm? You're shaking? Are you actually _cold_?~" More sickening laughter played in his tone.

He leaned down towards my face and I felt his wet hair gently stroke my cheek. I wanted to back away, scurry to the other side of the world away from him, but only my lungs would move.

"Your face is frozen," Laito said softly. I felt a breeze against my cheek as he inhaled my scent. My heart thumped in my chest, but still my body wouldn't move.

The vampire lightly trailed his fingers up my arm, sending more shivers through my body. "You're like one of Kanato's dolls. So pale, and cold. . . But thankfully, you're not. Dolls don't have blood." Sliding a strand of sopping wet hair off my cheek, he leaned in close to my ear. "I much prefer you the way you are, with blood still running through your veins." 

I clamped my eyes shut, trying to shut out the image of him this close to my face. But it didn't matter. The vision of him was imprinted in my mind.

But, sensing his head lift away from me, I gingerly opened my eyes. I had difficulty focusing, as if my eyes had turned vacant like a doll's as well, frozen in fear. In my peripheral vision, I saw Laito smile, tilting his head to the side like a curious dog.

"How long are you going to lay like that, hmm?~"

I blinked, unanswering, unable to speak even if I wanted to. My throat ached and burned, and I wondered if perhaps my vocal cords had been permanently crushed.

"You know," Laito said, reaching under my arms, "You really should stand in my presence."

He swiftly pulled me to my feet. But my legs felt heavy and useless beneath me. Even my dress -- the shreds of fabric suctioned to my body -- felt heavy, as did my long hair, plastered to my face and back. My teeth chattered as my body shook from the cold.

"You are quite unsteady on your feet," the redhead chuckled, supporting me under my arms. I wanted to push the bastard back, but my body only had the strength to shiver. "You must really be considerably weak," he said, studying me.

I didn't look him in the eyes. I kept my gaze trained on his chest, his white dress shirt soaked, a black tie loosely dangling from his neck.

"Would you like to see how weak you'd become if I held you back under the frigid water?" Laito snickered. "I would.~"

My eyes widened in mute horror as they snapped to meet his. The unnatural green irises danced with delight.

"Ah, but that's risky. If you die I won't be able to properly drink that blood of yours. I've only had a little taste, after all." Laito acted as if accidently killing me would only be a minor inconvenience.

"Ah~ah, would you stop shivering and chattering already?" His voice dropped with irritation.

I should have felt fear shoot through my chest at the threat in his tone. Instead my eyelids drooped, the heaviness blanketing my body intensifying.

"Are you so cold you're going to faint?~" Laito laughed and my body shook with him as he pulled me into him, holding me tight. I felt dizzy, sick to my stomach and so, so cold.

"Ah, there's no heat coming from your body, Bitch-chan," Laito observed, smirking. He caught my face in his hand, forcing me to look at him. "Why are your eyes like that, hmm? Is it because you're so cold. .  . or, is it because you _finally_ realize the situation your in?"

_The situation I'm in? Tortured and taunted by vampires, with possibly no escape?_

I swallowed hard. White haze covered my vision, slowly replaced by mists of black. The sound of Laito's laughter coiled around me as, yet again, I felt myself slipping out of consciousness.

"Ah, Ah. No, no, Bitch-chan. You can't pass out yet. I _won't~_ allow it."

Cold slaps on my cheek forced my eyelids to faintly fluttered back open.

Laito chuckled and picked me up. Kicking open the shower door, he set me down on the bathroom floor, with my back cradled in a corner between the bathtub and the wall. Shaking, I brought my knees to my chest, huddling my freezing arms around my legs. I was surprised I could move at all.

"I know a _fast_ way to warm you up," the vampire said cheerfully, stepping beside the tub. He turned the handle on the faucet and water exploded into the oversized basin.

Dazed, I barely understood what he was doing when he bent over my sopping wet form and pushed my knees to the floor. In one rapid movement, he grabbed the front of my dress and tore it off of me.

"What are you doing?!" The shriek came out hoarse and throttled, as if the vocal chords were still being constricted. My arms rushed to shield my small breasts, and I shoved my shivering knees back to my chest.

"Bitch-chan, I've already seen _everything~_ through that dress," Laito giggled, ramming my legs back down and reaching for my panties, the only clothing left on me.

"Stop!" I screeched, the word scarcely audible, though I had intended to scream it. He ignored me. My underwear was ripped off as fast as the dress, stinging the sides of my bony hips.

My heart slammed into my throat as he collected me in his arms. I thrashed against him as hard as I could, but the effort was feeble and shallow. He stretched over the collasal tub, setting me in the rapidly rising water.

I caught my breath as the warmth erupted over my body. Every nerve ending from my finger tips to my toes tingled as the heat burned away the cold. I wanted to sink my head underwater, plunge my whole body into that blissful warmth. But, all too aware of my nakedness in front of the vampire, I brought my knees to my chest, attempting to hide myself.

"See? It feels good doesn't it? I can be _quite_ kind," Laito said with a hint of laughter.

I eyed him anxiously, petrified of his next move. Dread filled my stomach as I watched him remove his tie and unbutton his shirt, exposing his pale, slender chest.

 _Oh god_ , I cried to myself, biting my lip.

I dropped my head on my knees and closed my eyes, wishing I could disappear -- that I could pull the plug and flow out of this nightmare-house with the water.

I heard the last of Laito's clothes drop to the floor with a sickening _plink_ , and felt the water displace as he stepped into the tub. The faucet handle creaked when he turned the water off, and the sudden sound of silence in the bathroom nearly crushed me with fear.

The water gently rippled as Laito moved closer. A half-sob, half-whimper rose in my chest when I felt his arm curve around my waist and push me forward. Sitting behind me, he slid a leg on either side of me.

Perhaps it was a burst of adrenaline, or maybe the hot water -- but when his naked skin brushed mine, something gave me the energy to lash out.

"Don't touch me!" 

My voice rasping in a harsh scream, I went into a frenzy, splattering water over the tub and on the walls, scrambling away from him.

But Laito was too quick. He slung his arm around my chest, pulling me to him. Jerking my face to the side, he pressed his lips to my ear. His voice came sudden and deep. "Stop. Otherwise, I _will_ drown you."

The vampire's tone was serious, as low and deadly as death itself. And it sliced through me like a knife.

I ground my teeth together and stopped flailing, my lungs heaving with panic. I desperately wanted to keep fighting, but the fear of his words kept me still.

"There. . . that's no so bad now is it?~" Laito chuckled, his voice soft against my neck. The menacing tone was gone as quickly as it had come. The speed with which he switched emotions terrified me.

Leaning back, he gently swiped his fingers across my back, collecting my hair and draping it over my shoulder, in much the same way he'd done earlier -- before I'd elbowed his stomach and blasted frigid water in his face.

Trying to ignore the ballooning fear, I focused on keeping my erratic breathing steady and resisting the rabid urge to struggle.

"Now, shall I continue where I left off before?" Laito asked heartily. I trembled as his tongue lapped across the wounds on my shoulder blades. "Hmm, it's already starting to look better. _Fascinating_ , Bitch-chan."

After he noisily licked the scraped skin a few more times, he inched his way up my spine and buried his nose into the back of my neck, at the hairline behind my ear. Swirling, cool air peppered my skin with goosebumps as he breathed in my scent.

"You smell delicious... soooo _tempting_. . ." His lips prolonged the words, as if savoring them along with the scent. "You've been _longing_ for it, haven't you? My bite, my fangs sinking into you. I saw it when Ayato-kun had his taste. I saw the look on your face. You _want~_ it."

Nausea tightened my stomach, his words making my insides recoil in disgust and fear. And not just the fear that my body's traitorous response would give him the wrong idea. I also feared the blood loss.

_How much more can I lose before they kill me?_

Laito's mouth lightly brushed my skin, leaving a trail of surprisingly delicate kisses as he moved to my shoulder. "You know, fear enhances all the senses? Pain. . . pleasure. . . it's all _amplified_."

I did not doubt the truth of that, as I had experienced it firsthand since arriving at this house. And indeed, at that very moment every nerve in my body was on fire, hyper-aware of his every touch, his every movement, his every breath.

And he proved it true once again as he planted his fangs agonizingly deep into my shoulder.

Inhaling sharply, my lungs released a strangled scream, my back arching in pain as his teeth sliced through the muscle.

Laito drank vigorously -- as if starving -- gulping in loud bursts, groaning with measured pleasure. His arms around me tightened, squeezing me further into his chest.

"Ahh~, Bitch-chan," Laito exhaled as he wrenched his teeth out. "You're so sweet, my throat is burning. . . there is nothing like this."

He dove back into my veins and, to my horror, I felt his manhood stiff against my lower back.

_Jesus. . . this can't be happening. . ._

"Please. . . stop. . . please. . ." My voice came out pathetic, pleading, thick with tears. A sound that eroded my dignity.

Laito only dug his fangs further, drinking more excitedly.

I tried to choke back the utter feeling of powerlessness. I couldn't fight, I couldn't run. I might as well have still been chained.

 _Vampires really are monsters,_ I sobbed.

I remembered movies and shows I had seen, in what now seemed like a previous life, a life I wasn't sure I'd ever get back to. In hollywood, vampires were sparkling, tortured souls, fighting to keep their humanity against their curse of bloodlust.

_Real vampires have no humanity. They are demons. He did say there was a demon world, didn't he? I believe that now. . ._

I shuddered as the heavenly intoxication from the bite began to make its voyage through my core.

_No! Oh god! I can't let him know the effect this has on me!_

"So delicious. . . I could just. . . suck you completely. . . dry. . . and eat your flesh. . ." Laito murmured breathlessly -- almost desperately -- as he feasted, as if _needing_ to devour me right then and there.

My pulse thumped, probably driving the blood faster into his mouth. The world spun, the darkness starting to gather in the corners of my vision once again.

_I'm losing too much blood!_

I wanted to scream, to beg him to stop before he killed me, but I couldn't bear how my voice sounded a moment before.

_Besides, it would probably just spur him on. He seems to like my pleading. . ._

I squeezed my fading eyes shut, swallowed the lump in my throat, and spoke -- my voice surprising me with its steadiness. "I lost a lot of blood in the. . . dungeon." It felt strange to say that word. That word belonged in medieval times, not here, coming from my own mouth. "I don't think I can last much longer."

Laito ever so slowly slackened his furtive feeding, as if he didn't care.

_He probably doesn't._

"Hmmm, I _heard_ about that. . ." he finally said, lifting his head off my skin. I kept my eyes closed, but I still felt his glowing green eyes burrowing into the side of my face over my shoulder. "But, I want to see how much you can endure. . . So show me the utmost you can bear. Okay,~ Bitch-chan?"

Laito laughed amiably, and I couldn't stop myself from glancing at him to see if he was serious.

He smiled a crooked smile at me, relishing in my disbelief.

_How can he be so. . . friendly. . . when saying something so. . . horrible?_

_But they're not supposed to kill me,_ a voice in my consciousness reminded me.

I was trying to hold on to that seed of knowledge, letting it give me hope. But Subaru didn't seem to care about "that bastard's" orders. Maybe Laito didn't either.

_I don't know what to believe. . . I don't know how to survive this. . ._

_Akio, I'm sorry. . ._

Below Laito's chin, I caught sight of my blood draining, flowing from my shoulder down my chest, leaving a spiraling trail in the water. Laito turned my body to the side, wrapping his head around me to reach the river of red. With his face so suddenly at my chest, I quivered and drew my arms in.

He snickered at my movement. "You don't need to  _hide_. You have  _ex-per-rrience~,_ don't you?" He drew out the word, almost singing it. "You're not one of the _innocent_ little girls we usually get~."

 _Little girls?_  Bile rose in my throat, and I really thought I might be sick.  _What have they done to young girls here?_

"Come on, remove your hands," Laito said.

The blood drained from my face, and I didn't move. His demand sounded relaxed and easygoing, as if he were telling me to kick back and enjoy myself.

But my head suddenly pounded, my consciousness somehow just as suddenly awake and racing. I feared obeying him, but I also feared _not_ obeying him. If I refused him, he'd probably just remove my hands anyway, and then drown me for not listening.

_Damn him!_

Clinching my eyes shut, I bit down on my lip and reluctantly withdrew my shaking hands.

I felt Laito's gaze disgustingly burning into me. I was no stranger to sex, but in that moment I felt like a virgin, being seen for the first time. No, it was worse than that. Even a virgin wasn't forced.

"Open your eyes, Bitch-chan." His voice was soft, yet somehow even more commanding.

Grinding my teeth and inwardly cursing him, I flipped my eyes open. Although terror coursed through every vein in my body, I couldn't stop the gush of anger as he _looked_ at me. My fingers curled into fists that trembled with the desire to punch that lustful expression off his fucking face.

I startled, drawing a sharp breath as the vampire ran a hand over my breast. Cupping it gently at first, he turned rough, squeezing harder and gauging my reaction. It took every ounce of might within me to resist the urge to knock his hand away and kick him in his exposed crotch. But I knew that would mean certain death for me.

"You really _hate_ this, don't you?" he taunted, his face flushed with pleasure. "Good. . . hate it more." Grabbing my shoulders, Laito pushed me back against the tub -- and forced my breast into his mouth.

My ability to remain calm died then. Shrieking, both my hands knotted in his hair, yanking and pulling. "Get off me! Get! Off! Me!" I shouted, splashing water everywhere.

That only seemed to incite him. He reached both arms around my back, pressed me into him, and bit down. Hard.

My scream echoed through the bathroom. Though it wasn't painful, the sensation of his fangs piercing my breast, the feel of his tongue on my nipple, shattered my composure. Convulsively, I fought him, twisting and pulling frantically.

But the harder I pushed and clawed at him, the harder he sucked. And the harder he sucked, the more my strength crumbled. Tears blurred my vision as the divine heat radiated from the bite.

_Goddamn it! Goddamn this feeling!_

My arms weakened, slipping off him and falling into the water. Gradually, with a hideous, satisfied groan, Laito released me and sat back.

I searched his face for anger, hoping I hadn't earned myself another crushed throat for thrashing. But, to my confusion, I only saw animated, hungry lust in his eyes.

"That look of defiance," he moaned breathlessly through a half-laugh, "so _beautiful_ , Bitch-chan!"

I hadn't realized I was glaring, my gaze scalding, as if I could burn him with just my eyes. I had always thought I possessed a solid, stoic ability to keep my emotions under control. But that ability seemed to diminish with every moment in this house. Or perhaps the emotions were simply too strong to _be_ controlled.

And it occurred to me then, that I switched emotions as fast as Laito -- perhaps faster -- careening back and forth between anger and fear. I preferred the anger. It made me brave, gave me power when I was utterly powerless.

_But, it could also get me killed._

Laito panted happily at my vehement expression, leaning in to slither his tongue up to my neck. "Mmm~. . . Resist me more, Bitch-chan!"

I sat motionless in the water, too intoxicated to struggle. But that didn't stop me from seething and cringing with every movement of the vampire's mouth.

I didn't feel the pain when he sank his fangs just under my earlobe and started drinking even more eagerly. "You. . . are going. . . to be. . . really. . .  _fun_. . . to break. . ." he breathed between gulps.

Dizzy with the euphoric effects and blood loss, I stared sightlessly into the bathroom as he uttered those words, remembering that Subaru had said something similar.

_Is that what they want? To take my blood, body and spirit?_

_They've already taken my blood, and I'm certain they're going to take my body. . . I can't let them have more than that_.

For the sake of my son, I had to remain brave. I had to make it out of this place alive and whole. I couldn't return to him as a broken mother. I wouldn't.

"Ahhh. . ." Laito sighed, pulling away from my neck. He brought his eyes even with mine, so close I could feel his hot breath on my lips. I felt my consciousness waning as I watched a line of my blood run down his chin.

"Do you want to know what I think the _best_ feeling is?" His green eyes practically twinkled as he cupped my face in his hands. "Ahh~ watching the eyes of a human when hope is taken away from them. . . that moment when despair takes over --  _that_ moment. It really is the _best_!"

The vampire grinned at me -- a terrifying, sickening grin. I held his gaze, trying to remain calm and brave. But I was certain he saw the flash of fear, that he saw his words already threatened my resolve.

_How long could my courage last? Am I really strong enough against something like him?_

Before I could doubt myself further, Laito suddenly pressed his smirking lips to mine.

The demanding force of the kiss reeled me back, scattering pink-tinged water between us. Muffled gasps gathered in my throat as I tried to push him off. But my weak arms couldn't find the strength against his.

He moved a hand to the back of my head, greedily breathing and groaning as he pressed my mouth harder into his. His tongue grated against my lips, trying to force them open. But I pursed them shut, refusing him entry.

His fingers tangled in my hair and pulled down, jerking my face upwards. Though it didn't hurt, I cried out at the shock of it, and he quickly thrust his tongue in my open mouth.

Repulsed at the putrid taste of my own blood on his tongue, I reacted without thinking.

_Shit!_

I gaped at him wide-eyed as he suddenly pulled back.

_Jesus, what did I just do?!_

Blood gushed from Laito's mouth. Not my blood this time.

My heart pounded in my ears, my head spinning, every muscle tense. I stared in horror as his chin dropped, his red hair shaking as he began to laugh.

_Oh god. . . He's going to kill me for real now!_

"That _hurt_. . ." he said as his laughter faded, looking up at me, smiling widely, his hand shifting in my hair. "You really have some _guts_ to bite me like that."

Not daring to breathe or move, I watched in complete terror as the vampire brought his thumb to his tongue and swiped at his own blood. "Ah~ah, Bitch-chan. It's been too long since I've had _this_ much fun."

Bringing his thumb to my mouth, he said, "Here.~ Taste it. Taste my blood, the blood that's mixed with _countless_ girls that I've drained."

He slid the blood across the outside and inside of my lips. I recoiled, horrified. But he twisted tighter around my hair, holding me in place. The nauseating flavor of rusted iron blended in with the taste of my own blood still lingering in my mouth.

"How is it? Hmm?" Laito asked, regarding me with a mock curiosity.

My nerves nearly ruptured with fear, expecting him at any to second to drown me, snap my neck, _anything_ violent after I'd all but bit his tongue off.

_What the hell was I thinking?!_

I choked out a question, the only thought in my mind. "Are you going to kill me?"

His face crinkled into another grin. "Bitch-chan. I won't kill you yet. I can't remember when I've felt this _alive_.~"

I should have felt relief. But the look of anticipation, of total _excitement_ , in his eyes. . .

He leaned in to my ear and whispered, "I want to corrupt every inch of your body first, to see how long you can hold out before you _break_ ~."

He tilted back to see my reaction, and I did everything I could to glower at him in pure revulsion, hoping he couldn't sense the utter terror under my skin. 

Laito giggled, and the last thing I remember before completely blacking out for what seemed like the hundredth time, was feeling his teeth at my neck and his hand at my breast.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based on Laito's original drama cd and one of the chapters from his route on the first game. I used a lot of direct quotes here. (Yeah, he *actually* says a lot of this stuff...)
> 
> [Here](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2012/04/12/diabolik-lovers-sakamaki-laito/) is where you can find the drama cd translation I used. All credits go to the translator.
> 
> Also I believe I might have used a few quotes from SakamakiHouse. Her translations are not online anymore, but all credits still go to her.


	8. Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri finds out something about herself she never could have expected.

* * *

 

 

 _The day was sunny and bright. The late spring air was just warm enough to not be too hot._ _The blue in the sky was such an achingly deep hue that it made the white of the scattered wisps of clouds even more brilliant._ _Out of the forest's edge, a long stretch of grass sloped down to a lake, and that's where I sat on a blanket, watching Akio play with his dad at the water's edge. The sound of children's laughter filled the air as several other families enjoyed the fresh outdoors._

_Camping for the week, Akio and Sadao had gone kayaking, tubing, fishing, hiking. . . all while I sat on a blanket or slept in the tent. Well, I did help catch a few fish, impressing Akio with my knack for falling asleep just as the bobber dipped under water._

_"Mom! You have to stay awake or you'll miss the fish!" He'd say every time. Technically, Akio caught all the fish while I dozed._

_That was just a few weeks into my illness, before I realized I was even sick. I had always been a person who needed more sleep than average. I worked hard and played hard. Maybe too hard. That's why I thought I was so tired._

_So this week of camping was to help me rest and relax. Drawn to the outdoors -- the sun, the grass, the trees -- there was no place else I'd rather be. But we would leave the next day, and I was relaxed, but not rested. I felt as tired as ever. Moreso, actually._

_Smiling as father and son danced between splashes in the water, I leaned back on my elbows and closed my eyes, letting the warmth of the late afternoon pour over me. The light breeze rustled the trees as if singing nature's lullaby. In no time I was asleep again._

_I awoke to Sadao shaking me._

_"Sayuri! Sayuri!" His voice, anxious and concerned, broke through my slumber. My eyes snapped open._

_"What's the matter?" Panic gathered in my voice. Sadao, normally almost too calm and collected, looked positively alarmed._

_"I can't find Akio," he said urgently._

_"What?!" I practically screamed it, jumping to my feet. "How could you take your eyes off a kid near a lake? He's only four!"_

_"I only turned my back for a second!" Sadao shouted after me. I was already running to the water, my eyes as big as saucers, as if they were binoculars scanning every inch of the beach. I ran down the dock, asking the kids jumping into the water if they'd seen him. They hadn't._

_Surveying the water, crying inside and hoping not to find my child floating face first, I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye. A woman at the forests' edge, in a gown._ A gown _? I squinted at her in the distance, raising a hand to my eyes to shield them from the setting sun. Her long purple hair swayed in the wind, and something moved beneath the long strands._

She has Akio!

_I saw my boy at her side, nearly hidden in the concaved folds of her black and white dress. She turned down the path, disappearing in the thick cluster of trees. Akio followed close behind. I took off after them, forgetting Sadao in my mother-bear rampage to reclaim my son._

_By the time I reached the path, it was eerily empty, and my lungs were burning, my legs aching._

What the hell. . . I'm used to running. I shouldn't be this out of shape. . .

_I half-ran, half-walked down the quickly darkening path, yelling Akio's name between staggered coughs and gasps._

_The trail eventually opened to a field, and in the distance a house -- no, a mansion -- rose out of the horizon, one that seemed vaguely familiar somehow. In the twilight, I saw three children running and playing through the field._

Akio!

_I recognized his swimsuit, the unmistakable way he ran, the same auburn hair as mine lifting in the breeze._

_Relieved, I stopped for a moment, bending over and resting my hands on my knees to catch my breath. My legs shook under me, but I didn't care._ Akio's safe! He ok! _That was all that mattered._

_I straightened, smoothing my shirt as I began walking across the field to collect my child. But I launched into a run once more when the lavendar-haired woman shouted, and Akio ran towards the sound, disappearing behind the courtyard bushes._

_"Akio!" I yelled as I reached the bushes, whipping my head back and forth, searching._

_"Aaaaaah!" I heard Akio scream, a gutteral, terrified scream, and my heart dove into my throat._

_"Akio!"_ _My voice wailed, filled with panic. I bolted toward the sound, feeling more desperate by the second._

_"Who said you could get up? Stay under!" A woman's voice echoed in the same direction as Akio's._

_I turned a corner around a row of rose bushes and saw her, the woman in the gown, leaning over an enormous garden fountain. A child's legs fiercely thrashed and kicked into the air as she forced his face into the water._

Akio!

_"Let him go!" I screamed, my feet flying forward in a blur._

_The woman ignored me, as if she hadn't even heard me. "This is your punishment! You can't be inferior to anyone! You can't even be equal! You must be the strongest! First! The best! Or I'm done with you! I'll throw you to the bottom of the lake for eternity!"_

_"No! Let him go!" My entire body slammed into her, throwing her to the gravel-covered ground._

_Akio was already lifting his head out of the water when I gathered him in my arms, sopping wet and sobbing. He sputtered and trembled, clutching onto me. I sobbed along with him, wrapping him tightly into my chest._

_"How could you?! What's wrong with you?!" I howled to the insane woman getting to her feet._

_Her body shuddered with laughter, a cruel, monstrous laughter. If Akio wasn't in my arms at that moment, I might've gone for her throat. Maybe I still would. But Akio was my first priority._

_"Akio, baby. . . are you ok?" I looked down at him, searching his face for an answer._

_But it was not Akio's tear-stained face that looked back at me._

 

* * *

 

I awoke gasping and panting, my mind blurring in confusion and fear.

_What the hell was that?!_

Wide-eyed, I tried to catch my breath, attempting to process the jumble of images in my mind, images that felt alarmingly too real, as if I had just lived the memory all over again. Only this time it was vastly different.

_Our trip to the lake. . . Akio had disappeared. . . but, we had found him playing with other kids on the trail._

_That woman in the gown. . . that child. . . who were they?_

The boy seemed vaguely familiar, as if I'd seen him somewhere before. 

The fact that it had been another child, and not my own, made my chest tighten. My arms ached, longing to hold my little boy.

Disoriented, and laying flat on my back, I tried to sit up.

"Ow! Shit!" I cursed as my forehead hit something above my face with a rumbling thump. I winced, bringing my hand to the injury and flopping my head back down.

"Be quiet. . . noisy. . ." a sleepy, muffled voice grumbled beside me. 

I turned my head, feeling an ominous presence far too close to me, giving me a sudden, harsh reminder of the nightmare that my life had become.

"Who's there?" I asked, my voice quivering.

It dawned on me that I was surrounded by total darkness in what felt like a stiflingly small space.

_Where am I?!_

My face twisted into a grimace as the events in the bathroom came crashing back to me. All at once, I felt hysterics threaten to send me into a panic.

"Who's there? Where am I?" I asked, terrified of the answer.

"Nn. . . shh. . .," the voice mumbled. 

I tried to scoot away from that voice, but a weight on my stomach tugged me back. His arm.

"Stop. . . moving. . ." the voice said, yawning softly, as it pressed my shoulder into its chest. The arm hooked further over my middle, tightly locking me in place.

My heart battered my ribcage.  _Is it Laito? It doesn't sound like him._

_Laito. . ._

I shuddered at his name in my mind, never wanting to see his face or hear his voice ever again. The way he'd looked at me, the way he'd choked me, the way he'd touched my body -- all of it still tangibly clung to me, as if his hands and fangs were still on me.

Tears stung my eyes, the wetness sliding down my temples and into my hair. Unable to move with my arms pinned at my sides, I couldn't wipe the tears away.

_Just like I can't wipe the memory of him away._

I took a few wavering breaths, trying to push his face from my mind and focus on my current situation. The voice beside me had subsided and now emitted a soft, subtle breathing. I opened and closed my eyes, squinting into the darkness, hoping to see something, anything. Wracking my spinning brain, I tried to remember how I got there.

_And where even is here?_

Quietly sliding a bare foot out from my body, I hit the edge of something hard and cold. _Metal?_ I bent my knee upwards, smacking it into something above me, just as I had my face, and accidentally rocked the space with a loud rumble.

I stiffened, breaking out in a cold sweat as I realized, with horror, that I was trapped in some sort of metal box with a vampire.

The presence beside me stirred and gave my petite frame a rough squeeze. "Be. . .  _quiet_." The voice was more demanding, and more awake.

I spent the next four or five minutes perfectly still, counting the seconds in my head and anxiously listening to his breathing slow once more. I used the opportunity to think.

_What happened? How did I end up here? How long has it been? I don't even have any idea what day it is._

It felt like months, years even, since that Tuesday in the flower shop. A world existed now that didn't before, and my life would never be the same even if I did make it back home.

 _How_ am _I going to make it back home?_

I had no idea how to answer that question.

_How do you escape a house full of ravenous vampires that won't leave you alone?_

More tears threatened to spill out, and I bit my lip, choking them back. I had to remain logical, clear-headed. I couldn't let emotions overtake me and cloud my judgment. But I felt so exhausted and overwhelmed that I wasn't sure my mind would ever be clear again.

The oppressive air in the box and the threatening predator asleep next to me didn't help to unravel my thoughts. A growling burst from my stomach reminding me I hadn't eaten in. . . I didn't know how long. 

"Why the hell are you making so much noise?" the vampire grumbled lowly, startling me.

"I - I'm sorry," I said hesitantly, fear gnawing my stomach along with the hunger. "I - I haven't eaten in a while."

The vampire groaned and hugged me tighter, nuzzling his nose and mouth into my hair. The gesture might have been cute if he had been a boyfriend, or even just _human_. But in this house, caged in this suffocating box, it was as cute as having a lion cuddle its jaw against my skull.

"You slept all night when I tried to wake you and now that I'm sleeping you decide to get up?" His tone was still thick with sleep, but louder and more recognizable.

_Is it the one who bit me before? Ayato? I think. . ._

"I - I'm sorry," I stuttered out another apology. My lungs were beginning to feel stifled in the small space, making it difficult for me to breathe. 

I lifted my arms up, attempting to push _his_ off me. But the vampire only pulled me in closer, lifting me onto my side to face him.

"Wait, stop. . . please let me out." I pushed against his chest, abhorring the intimate way he was touching me.

"Hmn. . ." Ayato hummed, curling his hand around my waist.

"I'm serious," I said, more forcefully, straining to turn away from him. "I - I can't breathe in here."

"Mm. . . not until I've had a bite of my prey," he murmured, sliding his body down, the rustling of his clothes magnified in the confined space. He nestled his nose in the center of my neck, just above the collarbone, inhaling.

I contorted against him, my pulse accelerating. "Wait! Stop!" The events of the past few days flashed in my mind. "I've already lost a lot of blood. The dungeon. And Laito, he--"

Ayato pulled his head back and interrupted. "Tch. Why'd you let that pervert do that?" His tone was edged in irritation, as if I'd had a choice when Laito attacked me.

"Excuse me?!" My voice climbed an octave in disbelief.

"You should be honored I brought you here." His voice lowered as it neared my ear. "Laito was waiting for you to wake up so he could _fuck_ you."

Astonished, I turned my face towards Ayato's. _He rescued me?_

I searched his eyes for truth, even though I couldn't see him in the inky darkness. "You did that for me?" 

"Mm-hm," the vampire whispered, his breath tickling against my ear. "You're _my_ prey. Ore-sama is the one that gets to fuck you first."

My throat tightened.  _Of course he didn't rescue me. I'm an idiot._

Ayato's arrogant chuckle raised my skin as he nibbled my earlobe.

"No! Get away from me!" Gasping, I kicked against him, my fists crumpling into his shirt, my feet clattering against the metal sides of the box.

"Calm down!" he demanded angrily. "Don't lump me in with that pervert. I'm not going to fuck you right now."

His words startled me into stillness. "What?"

"I'm too tired and I won't enjoy it properly. I should punish you for sleeping all night. And I'll punish you if you let any of the others fuck you," he growled. "Now, the least you can do is give me your blood."

I flashed him a look of pure disgust, hoping his vampire eyes could see it through the dark. He only snickered, his hair brushing my cheek as he dipped his head into my neck.

"No, wait!" I repeated, genuinely afraid to lose more blood.

Ayato snarled, and I sensed his lips curl. Even in the dark, I could visualize the sharpness of his fangs as he spoke. "Do you know how hard it was to fall asleep with your scent reeking in here? And then you wake me up!"

"But I've lost a lot of blood, too much!" I cried, breathlessly pushing against his chest. 

"It'll be fine. You would have died already if it wasn't." His lips nudged my neck, his teeth grazing my skin.

"No! Don't!" My voice came out more high-pitched than I intended, the sound reverberating around us.

"Too loud," the vampire scolded as he took a deep breath, burying his fangs deep into the considerably tender skin between my throat and collarbone.

A scream tore through my chest, my body writing in pain against his. Ayato dug his fangs in further, pressing me down and covering me with his torso.

"That hurts! Stop! Let go!" I shrieked, my legs jerking in agony.

Ripping his fangs out, he gave me a hard shake. "Stop that noise or I'll make it hurt more!" 

With tears pooling in my eyes, I clenched my teeth, whimpering softly as he dove back into my veins. Rewarding me for quieting, he eased on the pressure. But I couldn't subdue my body underneath him.

"You have to stop," I whispered, my hands fisting in his shirt, knowing that I had to do something, anything, to keep these vampires from draining me dry. There was no way my body could handle much more of this.

"I told you it's fine, didn't I?" Ayato said after a moment, his lips pulling on my skin, making me tremble. "You feel fine, don't you?"

I'd been so consumed by the sensation of fear that I hadn't noticed much else. I hadn't thought about my lack of meds and the engulfing sickness that should have followed. Aside from being tired, hungry, and stressed beyond belief. . . I _did_ feel fine. Even the tired feeling wasn't the same as the typical overwhelming exhaustion that had ruled my life for the past couple of years. And it certainly wasn't the exhaustion I _should_ feel after losing so much blood.

I could feel Ayato's reptilian eyes burning into me through darkness, expecting an answer. "I - I," I stammered. I wasn't sure how to put how I was feeling into words. I wasn't sure that I even wanted to, especially not to a vampire who could use it to his advantage.

"I guess. . ." was all I could bring myself to say.

"Well, we think. . . our father. . .," Ayato said slowly, bringing his tongue to his bite mark, making me shiver violently under him. Amusement filled his voice as he finished the sentence. "We think he made you the ultimate food source. . . the ultimate _prey_."

My eyes widened, my blood freezing in my veins. "What? I don't understand. . ."

Ayato's dark laugh vibrated against my neck. "It means we can feed on you as much as we want, and we don't have to worry about killing you."

 

 


	9. A Painting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri learns more about the content of her dream.

 

* * *

 

 

_"You are my precious experiment."_

Karlheinz's words rang in my mind, replaying over and over as I ran.

I couldn't recall how I escaped that metal _thing_ with Ayato. Whether he let me out or I pushed myself out, I didn't know. I only remembered scrambling out, finding a door, throwing it open, and running blindly down a darkened hallway with his laughter echoing behind me.

I didn't care that I had no idea where my room was, or that Laito had dressed me in disgusting black lingerie more revealing than the last. I didn't care that I could feel the sticky wetness from Ayato's bite draining down my neck. And I didnt care that hunger bit through my stomach, making my knees weak. My brain didn't seem to have control over what my body did. It simply ran.

When my legs faltered and my breathing came in painful, shambled bursts, I stumbled through the nearest door, shutting it behind me.

I drew back from the stout mahogany, shaking. For a long moment I stood sightlessly blinking at the room, at the heavy, ornate curtains blocking out the sun over the floor-to-ceiling windows, at the old bookshelves and the ancient grand piano in the corner.

Feeling as if I would collapse, I hobbled a few steps and turned, finding a maroon couch with a white blanket strewn across it. I sunk to the floor, leaning back against the sofa, bringing my knees to my chest. Shivering in the lace top and panties, my arm reached behind me in a daze, pulling the blanket around my nearly naked body.

I sat in blank silence, unwilling to let Ayato's words spill over me. But, unbidden, his voice throbbed in my head, joining Karlheinz's to pound against my skull.

_"Ultimate food source. . . my precious experiment. . . feed on you as much as we want. . ."_

_It isn't possible. It isn't possible,_ I told myself, repeating it like a mantra to block out everything else. As long as I held on to those simple words, I held on to reality. I had a degree in science. I had taught young minds all about biology. _It isn't possible._ A person has to run out of blood at some point and then they die.

_But the vampires are immortal. That isn't possible either._

_I'm healing too fast. That isn't possible either._

My thoughts began interrupting each other, bickering back and forth between logic and the impossible. I dropped my head backwards on the couch cushion, staring at the dark ceiling as if an answer were written there, and if I looked hard enough, I could decipher it.

 _I haven't aged, just like them._ _Am I immortal too?_

_Am I even human?_

I buried my face in my knees, trying unsuccessfully to hide from my own chaotic mind.

_Ultimate food source. Is that what I am? Food for vampires? Is that what he made me for?_

I couldn't hold back the sobs that shook my body, so I freely let them out, allowing them to wash over me. Waves of emotion poured out, consuming me until I could hardly breathe and my chest ached.

"Ahh." A deep voice startled me, splitting through my thoughts. "You're crying is quite bothersome."

My breath caught in my throat as I sprang to my feet, the blanket falling to my ankles. I instantly snatched it off the floor and threw it around me, whirling my head in the direction of the voice.

Wiping my blurry eyes, a figure cloaked in shadows appeared in the corner behind the piano. Presumably he had been laying on the piano bench out of my view the whole time. My stomach turned to ice as he rose and stepped around the piano, slowly gliding his hand along the smooth black top. Light from cracks in the curtains filtered over him, and I recognized the blonde vampire from that first night.

_Jesus, another vampire. Is there no place I can go where they'll leave me alone for a goddamn second?_

He stepped closer, but he did nothing more threatening than narrowing his eyes curiously. For a moment, he just seemed to observe me, his face fixed in an unreadable expression. There was something about the curve of his cheek, the tilt of his head, the way he stood relaxed and unconcerned, that made me think perhaps he was different from the other vampires.

Still, he _was_ a vampire, a predator, and one of my captors. Regardless of what my intuition told me, I was frightened and wary of him.

"I don't believe we were formally introduced," he began, stifling a yawn and leaning on the edge of the piano. "My name is Shuu. I am the eldest in this house."

Uncomfortable under his gaze, I cocooned myself tighter in the blanket, enormously aware that he'd seen it drop off of me. Shuu studied me, his face emotionless. He seemed to be waiting for me to speak, to introduce myself. But my mouth wouldn't open, my tongue wouldn't move. I remembered then that he had known my name that first night -- both of my names. There was no need to introduce myself.

Shuu took a step towards me, his tall form imposing. I tensed, prepared to bolt for the door if necessary.

He appeared to sense my anxiety. "My younger brothers seem to want your blood quite badly, but don't group me with them," he said dryly, as if bored with the thought of drinking my blood.

I gave him a puzzled look, perplexed by the indifference in his voice.

_He doesn't want my blood? Or is he just trying to get me to let my guard down?_

He turned and looked toward the window, his cerulean long-sleeved shirt clinging and unclinging to his chest as he moved. Like the others, he had a grace and beauty to him that didn't seem possible, or natural. And I noted that, despite his immortality, he did give a physical illusion of being older than the others.

"So, you're the eldest?" I asked timidly, finally finding my voice. "I had assumed Reiji was."

Shuu laughed at that, in a way that didn't hide his bitterness. "He can have that responsibility for all I care."

The vampire advanced another step closer, and I edged a few inches toward the exit. Though, I realized it probably wouldn't do any good. If he wanted to attack, I had learned by now that I wouldn't make it out the door.

"Well, did you interrupt my sleep for a reason?" he asked with a sigh.

I stared at him, a thought suddenly flickering in my mind. It occurred to me that if he knew my names, maybe he knew more about me.

"Wh-What am I?" I blurted, my voice limp and uncertain.

Shuu rocked back on his heels and squinted at me, as if he was weighing the question.

Clearing his throat, he proceeded slowly to the sofa. I backed away as he sank in to it. Shuu's lips curved into a thin smirk at my trepidation, perhaps amused that I was still afraid of him despite his attempt to assuage my fears.

"You're our bride," he said at last.

I blinked, wondering if he was toying with me. "You know that's not what I mean," I said with a hint of frustration, though I did also want to ask what exactly a "bride" meant to these vampires.

"Well, I don't know the details, only that you're a woman made specially for us." He closed his eyes, easing his head back against the couch, his earbuds dangling around his neck.

The answer he gave me I had already worked out for myself. The vampire wasn't being particularly helpful. Or maybe I wasn't asking the right questions.

"Am I human?" Saying that kind of question aloud made me feel as though I was teetering on the fringe of insanity.

Shuu cracked his eyes open and peered at me through the corners. "Would you be our food if you weren't?"

"I don't know. I don't know much of anything about. . . vampires."

That was the first time the word _vampire_ had left my mouth since this whole ordeal began. In the back of my mind somewhere, there was still a part of me that wanted to believe all of this was just a nightmare. But somehow, voicing the word put the final proverbial nail in the coffin: This was real.

"Well, we only prey on humans," Shuu said nonchalantly, as though his words would have no terrifying implications for me. "You could give me a taste to be sure," he added, his tone faintly playful.

I furrowed my brow, confused. "I thought you didn't want my blood."

"I didn't say that. I said don't group me with my brothers. Don't make me repeat myself. It’s so annoying." Reaching for his earbuds, he seemed to lose interest in the thought of tasting my blood as quickly as he'd shown it. Adjusting the music in his ears, he repositioned himself comfortably on the couch, reclining into it and closing his eyes. His very posture seemed to say, "I don't give a shit about anything. Leave me be."

But, I kept my lips resolutely pressed together, waiting. So far, none of these damn vampires had given me a straight explanation. I wanted answers.

After a few moments, he opened one eye lazily. "You're still here?" 

"I have more questions," I said bluntly, shrugging the blanket around me.

His expression didn't change, but I thought I saw a flutter of exasperation in his eyes. "I've told you all I know. It's tiresome speaking more than I have to."

I doubted that Shuu had relayed even a fraction of what he knew about me. But he turned his face away with a finality that said our conversation had ended. I had discovered in my short time in this house that vampires were temperamental, and I didn't want to risk pissing him off. As much as I wanted answers, I'd had enough of irritated vampires to last a lifetime.

I collapsed my shoulders in defeat and chewed my lip in thought. If he wasn't going to speak further, then I wanted to get back to my room without encountering any of the others, particularly Laito or Ayato. I didn't enjoy the idea of roaming the halls alone. I decided that perhaps walking with Shuu might be a safer option.

"I don't know the way back to my room," I admitted into the accrued silence.

"I don't see how that concerns me," Shuu groaned, slumping further into the sofa, his blond hair ruffling against the cushion.

"Well, um. . .," I said, wondering if I was pushing my luck with this vampire. "Would you mind taking me there?"

Shuu rolled his head in my direction and considered me, his blue eyes almost black in the dim room. "I suppose it'd be less annoying than having you stare at me," he yawned and my heart thumped as his fangs peeked from behind his lips. He leaned forward, sleepily scratching the back of his neck.

"Thank you," I said quietly as he lifted himself reluctantly from the couch and sauntered past me, opening the door. Though his presence didn't emit as much of a threatening aura as the others, I nonetheless felt a chill spike through me at his approach. But I swallowed the lump in my throat and followed him through the door.

We descended a set of stairs, then threaded our way through an abundance of hallways. It almost seemed as if Shuu was leading me in circles, trying to confuse me. But the hulking monstrosity of a house was so much like a lab-rat maze, even with daylight soaking through the occasional window, that I figured he probably was taking the most direct route to my room.

I concentrated hard, trying to memorize the route, or at least, identify land markers -- a certain statue displayed in a corner, a sconce with a noticeable chip, a particular painting. We turned a corner, and I halted suddenly in front of one such painting, an old, worn canvas adorning the wall between two artificial potted trees.

Sensing the interruption, Shuu glanced back at me over his shoulder.

"Who. . . is that?" I asked, my voice trembling in shock.

I stared, unblinking, at the woman in the painting, with her long, lavender hair, her black and white gown, her menacing green eyes that had laughed at me in my dream. My gaze lingered on her, observing the intricate details that I'd already seen so clearly in my mind.

Shuu's footsteps echoed on the marble as he stepped beside me. He folded his arms across his chest, and examined the painting. "It's Cordelia, the triplets' mother," he said, turning to eye me curiously.

_Triplets?_

Another pair of green eyes caught my attention below her. Three little boys stood gathered around her, and I gaped at one of the them -- the one I had mistaken as my own son, the one I had held in my arms after the woman in the gown had tried to drown him.

"That's Ayato," Shuu volunteered, following my gaze.

My breath caught in my throat. _Ayato. Of course._  

Although I had only seen it twice, I recognized the red-haired vampire's mischievous grin in the child's face. That grin was positively frightening on the grown Ayato, but it somehow saddened me seeing it in this painting.

"And that's Kanato and Laito," Shuu said, pointing to the other two boys in the picture.

I gulped hard as I studied Laito's young face, the beautiful face that had terrified me like no other had thus far in my life. Under his mother's shadow, he looked both innocent, and yet. . . not.

My eyes roamed to Kanato -- with the same ragged, almost crazed, look he had that night I met him, the same teddy still in his arms -- and back to Ayato. Though they all gave the same chubby-faced grins of childhood, their smiles contained no happiness. Something inside of me ached looking at that worn painting, and I felt my eyes welling. I blinked back the tears, surprised at their sudden presence, and pulled the blanket in tighter around my shoulders.

"So, she's not your mother?" I asked, trying to push the odd sense of sadness away.

Shuu raised an eyebrow, regarding me thoughtfully. "We all have different mothers," he offered. "Our old man had three wives. Beatrix had Reiji and I first, then Cordelia had the triplets. And Christa had Subaru."

"Three wives? All at the same time?" I asked, my brow drawing down in confusion. Vampires were polygamous?

"Yes, obviously," Shuu sighed as though I were an idiot.

I nodded slowly, but Shuu didn't give me time to ask anymore questions, apparently bored with my interest in his family despite his brief flicker of curiosity. He turned and continued down the corridor. I regarded the painting one last time, shivering, before resuming my trail behind him.

Forgetting my plan to memorize the hallways, I instead watched my bare feet take one step after another, as if in a trance.  _How is it possible that I dreamed about Ayato and his mother?_

Everything felt disoriented and tangled in my mind. It was all too much to absorb. Vampires, being kidnapped, strange dreams, biological impossibilities. It was easier to rhythmically, blankly, observe my feet than to attempt to make sense of my circumstances.

However, I didn't realize Shuu had stopped, and I bumped into him, my face bouncing off his upper arm.

He smirked down at me as I stuttered out an apology. Opening the door, he waved me through. I stepped past him and saw my room for the first time in daylight. With the white curtains drawn back, sunlight liberally flooded in, making the space appear calm and serene. It seemed fake somehow, not at all like the malevolent atmosphere that shrouded the rest of the mansion. 

My gaze fell beyond the cherrywood four-poster bed and matching cherrywood chest and dresser, to the french doors I hadn't noticed before that led out to a balcony. I suppressed the sudden urge to break through those doors and soak in the sun on my skin.

I turned back to thank Shuu, only to find the door closed and the vampire gone. Slumping my shoulders with a sigh, I decided to first change clothes. I slid the blanket off, turning to set it on the bed when I jumped, whipping it around me again.

"What are you doing?!" I shrieked.

Shuu lay on my bed, hands behind his head, legs crossed, eyes partially open. Watching me.

"I'm tired. It was a long walk," he said, closing his eyes and aligning his head more comfortably on the pillow.

My mouth hung open as I gawked at him. Was he serious or messing with me? I wasn't sure what to say. I truly wanted to be left alone, but it was beginning to seem like I needed to be locked in the dungeon for that luxury.

"Don't you have your own room you can sleep in?" I asked tentatively, my tone pegged with more annoyance than I intended.

Without moving or changing his blank expression, he said, "Too far."

Somehow I didn't doubt the truth of that, but still. . .  _couldn't he just magically teleport or something?_

I fidgeted awkwardly, trying to decide if he was serious. I wanted to yell at him to get out, but he had answered some of my questions and had patiently lead me to my room -- and hadn't tried to hurt me in the process.

I moved toward the closet, debating if I wanted to change clothes first or try to convince him to leave first. I didn't relish the idea of changing with a vampire so close by, so I turned and stepped near his side of the bed. 

"Look, I--," I started to say, when I suddenly found myself swooped onto the mattress.

My breathing stopped as piercing blue eyes hovered over me and strong arms pinned me down.

I wrestled my wrists against his iron grip, scrambling to free my hips from under his straddling weight. "What are you -- let go of me!"

I felt horribly exposed with the blanket now opened under me, and my blood turned cold as Shuu took in an eye full, his eyes roaming my body as I struggled.

"Hehe. . .," he chuckled darkly. "This is Laito's work I assume. Not bad."

He bent down, inhaling the scent of dried blood on my neck from Ayato's bite. I cringed and turned my head, feeling my wrists going numb.

_Damn, I'm stupid! I never should have let my guard down!_

"There’s really no defying the smell of your blood," Shuu sighed into my neck. "To think that just a little while ago I was indifferent. . . Hmm. . . well, it’s inevitable that I changed my mind."

The vampire lifted himself back up and brought one of my wrists to his mouth. I pulled back desperately, my face grimacing under his strength. "Don't! Let go!" I snarled angrily.

Shuu smiled a half-smile. "Hehe. . . You're the one who invited me here."

I gaped at his ludicrous reasoning, shivering as he snaked his tongue along my forearm up to my palm.

"You haven't been bitten here yet," he whispered, his cool breath fanning against my damp skin. "Though I heard it had been shredded. Shame I didn't get to see that."

"I can't believe I thought for a moment you might be different," I hissed, glaring icily at him.

"You are the same as livestock to us vampires," he retorted. "Don't mistake that."

"Really? You marry your livestock?" I said, my voice strained as I twisted my arm in his grasp.

He gave a low laugh before tilting his head, breathing deeply and opening his mouth wide, his fangs gleaming. A scream ripped through my throat as he tore into my wrist. I bucked and writhed under him, the pain snaring every other sensation. It felt as if he was gnawing at the bone, the agony blazing through my body.

"Stop! That fucking hurts!" I cursed through garbled screams, fighting against the weight on my waist.

He released a strangled groan, pressing his teeth deeper, filling his mouth with blood. He drank intensely, breathing heavily through his nose after each swallow. 

"Ah," he said, pulling free after what seemed like ages. "Now this -- this was worth the effort."

I panted wearily, my chest rising up and down, the fight gone from my body. But I felt grateful, at least, for the painkilling effects that had already taken effect. In some way, I was thankful, too, that draining me wouldn't kill me.

I frowned at my thoughts.  _How can I be looking at the bright side of this situation?_

The bright side wasn't really bright anyway, but just an illusion that had more darkness hidden behind it: Vampire saliva took away the pain, but then I couldn't fight back. I couldn't die of blood loss, but they could drink whenever and as much as they wanted.

Shuu released my wrist after the wound finally coagulated, and my arm dropped to the bed like a leaded weight. Leaning back on his heels, he eyed my limp form under him, with my arms bent out on either side of my head, my hair splayed out around me, my eyes watching him with derision. His lips formed a crooked smile and he leaned over me. I startled as he ran a hand from my shoulder, down my chest, the side of my breast and to my waist.

I wriggled feebly under his touch. "Get your hands off me," I breathed through clenched teeth. I felt as though those were essentially the only words I said to these vampires: "Let go", "Stop", "No", "Don't."

And all fell on deaf ears.

As expected, Shuu ignored me as if I hadn't spoken at all. His eyes followed the movement of his hand across my torso, then casted back to my face. I fired a look of stark hatred at him as he propped himself on one elbow by my head.

"I did enjoy the sound of your screams, moreso than that angry expression," he whispered in my ear. I flinched, jerking my face away from him. "Next time, you tell me where you want it and I'll give you more pain."

I felt the bed creak as his weight rose off me. When I looked up, I was utterly shocked to find him gone. My eyes darted to every corner of the room to be sure. I breathed a sigh of relief and rolled onto my side, pulling the blanket with me.

 _They're all just monsters._  I shivered despite the heat running through my veins.

Dizzy and intoxicated, I stared blankly at the haze of particles dangling through the beams of sunlight in the window.

For some reason, the three pairs of young eyes in the painting seeped through my mind, eyes that were very much unlike those of monsters.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shuu sounds like Ruki calling her livestock here, but Shuu actually does say this in the first and second game. [Here](http://akuichansera.tumblr.com/post/70048701784/more-blood-shu-dark-03-translation) is where you can find that translation. All credits go to the translator.
> 
> ************
> 
> Also, in regards to her dream about Ayato and Cordelia: For those of you unfamiliar with the game, Cordelia actually did hold Ayato's head under the fountain and threaten to throw him in the lake for eternity if he wasn't the best at everything. [Here](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2012/10/27/diabolik-lovers-sakamaki-ayato-2/) is where you can find Ayato's route summary.


	10. Back to School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To Sayuri's surprise, she is required to go to night school with the vampires. This gives her the opportunity to plot another escape.

* * *

 

 

I lay on the bed and stared blankly at the light from the window, watching it brighten in the late afternoon, then darken as night rolled over the world. I was hypnotized by it, letting the weight of the blanket press down on me, entombing me with my thoughts.

None of the vampires had come to assault me, and I was thankful for the time alone. I wanted to think, clear my head, come up with a logical plan of escape. But no matter how hard I tried, my brain struggled to form a coherent strategy capable of out-witting six supernatural creatures.

My only plausible idea was to steal a car and bust through the main gate, if they even had a car to steal. My mind then wandered to the possibility of success. What if I did manage to get away? What then? 

_That won't stop them from finding me again, and worse, finding Akio or my mother too. We would all need to go into hiding._

Every bone in my body ached at the thought of my son, at the thought of him and my family in danger. I hugged myself tight under the blanket, wishing it were Akio I could hug and keep safe. I could see his face so clearly in my head, each one of his features branded into my memory. I missed him so much it _hurt_.

The pain was too much, and combined with the stress of everything that had happened, I turned nearly comatose. My mind emptied as I gave up thinking altogether, concentrating only on the light slowly shifting and changing through the window.

A bell chimed through the house and I lifted my head, peering toward the door over my shoulder. What was that? A dinner bell?

 _That makes no sense. . . aren't I their dinner?_ I wondered sardonically.

I dropped my head back down and resumed my blank gaze at the window.

A knock came at the door a moment later. "Excuse me," a muffled voice sounded from behind the mahogany. 

My body jerked, bolting upright and freezing in fear as I stared at the door. "W-Who is it?"

I suddenly kicked myself for laying in bed all this time. Why hadn't I gotten dressed, worked harder on a plan? What was wrong with me?

"It is I," the voice from behind the door answered, as if I would automatically recognize it. Though, from the polite tone, and the fact he knocked, I assumed it was probably Reiji.

"How long do you intend for me to wait? Make haste and open the door." Impatience marred the voice.

Shakily, I climbed off the bed, hugging myself securely in the blanket and rambling to the door. As I guessed, Reiji waited for me on the other side.

"Honestly. You certainly are a woman who takes her time," Reiji said as he poured into the room, uninvited.

 _At least he knocks_ , I thought wearily.

It occurred to me that Reiji was the only vampire thus far that hadn't tried to lick me or drink my blood. Yet, he still frightened me. There was a cruelty within him, one I could sense behind his harsh eyes, a cruelty I didn't want to be on the receiving end of.

He turned that sharp gaze on me and I tensed. "You'll need to be ready to come down to dinner in ten minutes."

I watched wordlessly by the door as he crossed the room and approached the bed.

"Here is your uniform." Reiji held a stack of folded clothes in his hands, transferring them to the end of the bed as he spoke.

My brow furrowed in confusion. "Uniform?"

He turned, and I wondered if he was stifling a smile. "Yes. After dinner, you will be coming to school with us."

I gaped at him wide-eyed. "School? What are you talking about?"

He exaggerated a sigh, as if talking to a total idiot. "We attend an elite high school, a night school for celebrities and such that cannot attend during the day."

"But, I still don't understand," I said, unable to keep the bewilderment out of my voice. "I thought you said the police were looking for me."

"They won't be looking for Kimiko Sakamaki." Reiji smirked, apparently enjoying my confusion. "You will be our seventeen-year-old cousin who has come to live with us in order to attend this prestigious school."

He advanced towards me and I suppressed a shudder at his threatening presence. "Why? Why do I have to go to school with you? That doesn't. . . make any sense."

Reiji stopped in front of me, unnervingly close, and I resisted the urge to take a step back. "It's too troublesome for one of us to stay home and babysit you everyday. Besides, you are a part of our family now. You will adjust to our way of living."

He gave me a full-on grin, showing off his fangs, while I stood dumbfounded, not just at the idea of going to high school, but at his mention of "being part of the family". I cleared my throat and voiced my thoughts. "Why do vampires need to go to school? Aren't you a few hundred years old or something?"

A cloud seemed to pass over his face and the grin faded. "How tiresome. Do you honestly need an explaination for every little thing?"

He narrowed his eyes, looking down intimidatingly on me. I realized he was the tallest of the brothers and I felt quite small under that red-eyed glare.

Without waiting for a reply, Reiji continued, the disdain obvious in his tone. "It is on our father's orders. He wishes us to. . . interact. . . with humans and live among them."

I blinked, taken aback. Why would Karlheinz want his sons to live like humans?

But Reiji didn't wait for me to ask any further questions. He stepped through the doorway and reached for the handle. "That is all for now. In ten minutes a familiar will be here to fetch you. Please be ready." Before he closed the door, he added, "Do not be late."

I turned and slowly walked toward the uniform on the bed. _High school?_ I stopped midway, my mind suddenly reeling. _Of course! This is perfect!_

Flying to the bed, I grabbed the black and white uniform and got to work putting it on. My hands would barely work together as my brain fired on overtime, concentrating on all the different opportunities I would have at the school.

_All I have to do is talk to an adult or get to a phone!_

I paused for a moment in my excitement, realizing the vampires probably would have thought of that. Willing myself calm down, I knew I needed to approach my plan of escape carefully, logically. A nagging feeling made its way into the back of my mind, wondering why the hell the vampires would not only allow me out of the house, but _require_ it. I tried to swallow my heart from my throat as I remembered what happened when I got caught escaping last time. I definitely needed to proceed with caution.

Needing a mirror to fix the maroon and white ribbons on the uniform, I headed into the bathroom, which adjoined the bedroom. I let out a shaky breath as I entered, the memory of Laito assaulting me in that same room suddenly flooding my vision. I closed my eyes for a moment and pushed it far, far to the back of my mind.

 _I have more important things to think about. I can't linger on that,_ I resolutely told myself.

Stepping in front of the mirror, I forced myself to concentrate on tying the uniform bows. _I don't know why the hell this needs two._

My eyes wandered to my face, and I paused. My blue eyes seemed darker, my skin more pale. I ran a hand through my hair, noting how bright the red was, how soft and clean the long auburn strands felt under my fingertips. Nausea suddenly bubbled in my stomach.

_Laito must have washed me after I blacked out!_

Feeling utterly sick, I drew a deep breath and shivered, trying desperately not to think about what _else_ he might have done to my naked body while I was unconscious.

Taking a step back, I instead focused on my reflection. The white blouse with the black blazer and skirt complimented my milky white skin, but the ensemble gave me an even younger appearance. I truly looked like a teenage girl, ready for high school. Would anyone believe I was Sayuri Ibuki, the missing thirty-five-year-old mother?

Before I could contemplate anything further, a knock came from the bedroom door. With a heavy sigh, I pulled away from my unfamiliar reflection to answer the sound.

The servant waited while I found a pair of black knee high stockings and black dress shoes to match the uniform. I solemnly uttered a quiet apology to whomever the shoes and socks must've belonged to.

I passed the bathroom mirror one last time, taking in the slender, young-looking girl before me.

_How am I going to convince anyone who I am?_

Trying to organize my thoughts, I followed the familiar down the hallway. My mind raced as I trailed behind him. Would an adult at the school believe me? Would they think I was crazy? What had the vampires told them? Would it be better to try to contact either the police, or my mother or Sadao directly?

_I definitely can't tell anyone I've been kidnapped by vampires. No one would ever believe that!_

The mute servant led me down a staircase and through a widened corridor. Around a corner, we turned through an archway that opened into a grand dining hall. Too absorbed in my own thoughts, I barely noticed the high ceiling, the elaborate chandelier, and the various artwork on the walls. However, my blood froze in my veins when I realized the expansive room had become a chasm of predatory eyes, all fixed on me.

"Ah, Bitch-chan~ you clean up nice!" came an amused, all too familiar voice, sending a jolt of fear down my spine.

Unwillingly, my gaze turned toward the sound. Laito smiled jovially at me from under his fedora. He sat alongside his uniformly dressed brothers around an antique but expensive-looking dining table. They all had plates already in front of them, but had hardly touched their dinners. It struck me as odd that the vampires were doing something as normal as eating dinner, particularly eating human food.

"You're late," Reiji reprimanded, his voice thick with exasperation. "Have a seat. I will discipline you later."

My stomach clenched, my eyes darting to the ten chairs at the table. Laito patted an empty seat next to him and my knees went weak. I quickly took the seat furthest from him, at the end of the table next to Subaru, whom I hadn't seen since the ordeal with the dungeon. He didn't seem fond of my choice to sit next to him, his jaw twitching as he grit his teeth together.

A familiar brought out food for me almost immediately. Giving him a soft "thank you", I picked up my fork.

All at once I forgot the room full of vampires. I dove into the chicken marsala and pasta, closing my eyes as the delicious taste of white wine sauce hit my suddenly very ravenous tongue. I didn't think twice about their choice of Mediterranean food, I just began shoveling in mouthful after mouthful as if I had never eaten before. I couldn't remember the last time I _had_ eaten.

I heard Reiji mutter under his breath, "Honestly. Does she have no table manners?" before Subaru abruptly pushed his chair back and stood up.

"Tch. How can anyone eat with her stinking up the place?" the angry vampire grumbled as he stalked off, his fists clenched at his sides.

I glanced around nervously at the others. Ayato and Laito were indeed eyeing me hungrily over their plates. I wanted to say, "What the hell are you looking at? I'm not food! I'm a human being! A mother, a daughter, a _person_ , damn it!" But I swallowed the words, along with the pasta, and both stuck in my throat.

I carefully set my fork on the side of my plate and rested my hands in my lap, my appetite swiftly gone. Kanato startled me when he began randomly stabbing his plate and mumbling something to his teddy bear. Shuu sat diagonally across from me with his eyes closed, arms folded across his chest, earbuds in his ears. He hadn't touched his food at all. No one spoke, and I awkwardly chewed my lip wondering what was going on.

_Why are they eating dinner if they aren't really eating?_

The silence broke when another bell chimed through the house. Everyone wordlessly rose from the table, chairs scratching against the floor. Several familiars flitted in to gather the mostly untouched plates while everyone else filtered out of the room. Reiji cleared his throat, giving me a stern look that told me I was to follow them.

I shadowed behind the vampires as they coursed through the house and out the front door. A limousine sat waiting in the same spot the BMW had dropped me off the night I was kidnapped. I never would have imagined at that time that I'd be walking into a house full of monsters.

The chauffeur held the door as the brothers silently filed into the limo. I deeply breathed in the humid night air before taking my turn to enter the oversized vehicle. I had ridden in a limo once for my best friend's wedding, where I had been the matron of honor and Akio the ring-bearer. My little man had worn his tuxedo proudly, his tiny two-year-old self so happy and ecstatic to ride in the "big car".

Choking back tears at the memory, I climbed into this limo, so different from the one all those years ago.

Nervously, I slid across the luxurious leather seats next to Shuu, assuming he might be the safest to sit next to since he'd already fed on me hours earlier. He resumed the same position he'd had at the dinner table, acting as if the rest of us didn't exist.

Not wanting to make eye contact with any of the others, I positioned myself so that I could watch the world pass by out the window. The engulfing silence between the brothers continued on the ride to school. For that, I was thankful.

 _I guess demons don't have much to converse about,_ I thought to myself.

The limo drove down an unfamiliar stretch of road. When Karlheinz had first brought me here, I had been so terrified, and it had been just as dark, that I had barely been able to take in anything I saw. Now I forced myself to pay attention in case there was something I had missed. I peered out into the dark, searching for house lights. Perhaps people lived around here, people who might help if I had the chance to run.

My heart sank. All I saw was the empty darkness, mile after mile. I swallowed a lump in my throat and closed my eyes. I turned around, staring dejectedly at my clenched hands in my lap, hands that seemed almost foreign against the background of the black uniform skirt.

Soon the limo pulled into a brightly lit parking lot that joined a brightly lit building. I gawked at the massive, extravagant structure that was much bigger and fancier than any school I had ever attended in my youth in Germany. Students crawled all over the campus, milling about in groups or busily walking in and out of the front doors. I couldn't help but notice a sizeable amount of people staring as the limo pulled up to the entrance.

My eyes anxiously followed the vampires as they exited the vehicle one by one. I wanted to jump out of the limo screaming, "Help! Somebody help me!" And, as I moved to get out of the car myself, I suddenly thought, _That's exactly what I'll do!_ How could they stop me?

As if reading my mind, Reiji reached from behind me and grabbed my arm, gripping it so harshly that I gasped.

"I will warn you," he said in a low voice, his eyes bearing down on me. "If you so much as utter a single word to anyone about your situation, I will throw you back in the dungeon and whip you until the skin peels from your flesh and you wish for death. Is that understood?"

I stared at him in disbelief, my throat suddenly too dry to answer. 

Reiji jerked me forward so that my face was mere inches from his, his grip tightening around my arm to force a reply out of me. "Is that _understood_?" 

"Y-Yes," I somehow managed.

His words chilled me so thoroughly to the bone that I almost missed him say, "Good. No one would believe you anyway since our father, Tougo Sakamaki, _owns_ this school."

Reiji paused for a moment, as if waiting for the words to sink in. Then he roughly released my arm and pushed himself out of the limo.

I sat paralyzed, my mind unsuccessfully trying to sift through scattered thoughts.

Tougo Sakamaki? _The_ Tougo Sakamaki?

It dawned on me then, that Karlheinz _did_ look like the famous and very powerful politician. In my terror, I hadn't recognized him that night.

 _He_ was the owner of this school, the father of these vampires?

_Oh god._

The weight of Reiji's revelation settled on my shoulders like a block of ice.

_Christ. What do I do? Certainly none of the adults at the school will believe me if I tell them who I am, not if they think I'm a Sakamaki. They'll think I'm crazy._

My thoughts raced against each other. _What if I say I'm being abused? Don't they have to report that? But would they? Would they report their own benefactor?_

I suddenly felt suffocated and trapped. I glanced around the empty vehicle, gulping hard and trying not to hyperventilate.

The night air blew in from the open door, carrying the voices of students with it. But they might as well have been miles away from me. I had been so ecstatic at the possibility of all those people being able to help me. But now. . . My head swam with the fear that I would be surrounded by people who couldn't or _wouldn't_ help me.

Reiji bent down and broke me out of my incapacitation. "Out, now," he commanded, speaking with such an aura of control that it didn't even occur to me to disobey.

In a daze, I slid one foot out of the limo, and then the other. All of the brothers stood around me, as if shielding me from the temptation to run.

I felt the eyes of people stopping and staring as I marched into the entrance with the vampires. I stared back at them, pleading with my face: _Help me! Can't you see they've kidnapped me? Can't you tell they're monsters?!_

But my gaze was only met with surprise and something else I couldn't pinpoint. . . adoration?

The brothers ushered me through the front entrance and stopped before a grand staircase in the rotunda. Reiji turned to face me, handing me a notebook. "Your schedule is in there. You are in the same year as Laito, Ayato and Kanato. We have arranged it so that one of them will be with you at all times."

"You've got the first class~ with me, Bitch-chan," Laito said over my shoulder, curving his arm around my waist.

I instinctively jerked away. "Don't touch me," I hissed.

Laito smirked, eyeing several people gawking at my behavior. "Don't be like that, cuz," he sang merrily as he looped his arm in with mine.

I tried to yank away from him but he held tightly and leaned in to my ear. "You don't want to make a _scene_ now, do you?" His voice clearly held a hidden threat that made my skin crawl.

I stiffened, glaring into his unnatural, cat-like eyes. But he only giggled as I relented, allowing him to lead me up the stairs. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Ayato scowling in Laito's direction as he trailed behind us.

I attempted to focus my gaze straight ahead and not on the vampire forcibly hooked to my arm. That proved to be more difficult than I could have imagined. Laito bent sideways, whispering in my ear as we walked.

"Do you know what I did to you after you passed out, Bitch-chan?" he purred and I could feel the delight in his tone. "I tasted every _inch~_ of you."

I shivered inwardly, trying to block out his voice, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

"There isn't a nook or cranny where my tongue hasn't been on your body," the vampire breathed cheerfully into my shoulder. My heart plummeted into my stomach. But I kept my chin up, not acknowledging the effect his words were having on me.

"You're disgusting," I whispered back to him, keeping my face forward as he led me into a classroom.

"You have no idea how _disgusting_ I can be," he shot back softly with a grin. "But I'd like to show you."

I nearly faltered at that, but instead I did my best to ignore both him and the students that stared as Laito sat down next to me in the back of the room. I heard whispers of "Who is that?" and "A transfer in the middle of the year?" and "Is she with him?"

I didn't have to endure Laito's repulsive comments or the hushed voices of the other students much longer as the teacher soon entered the classroom. She had platinum blonde hair, perfected into a bonnet of fashionable curls to match her fashionable violet sweater and expensive skirt and heels.

She introduced me to the class as Kimiko Sakamaki with little fanfare. I suspected that if I were to tell anyone what was truly going on, she would be the least likely to report it. Disappointment bit at the back of my throat, but I wasn't surprised. I had expected that finding a teacher or adult to talk to wouldn't be easy.

 _Finding a phone is the best way,_ I determined.

Midway through the lesson I raised my hand timidly, keeping Laito out of my field of vision. "May I use the restroom?" I asked, astonished that my voice didn't tremble.

The teacher nodded her head nonchalantly, her plastered hair not even moving. I didn't spare Laito so much as a glance as I rose from my desk and strode briskly for the door.

Before my hand hit the doorknob, Laito's voice rang out in the classroom. "I'll show her the way, Yamada-sensei," he said as he rose from his desk. The teacher waved her hand in approval, scarcely giving either of us any notice.

The blazing fluorescent lights of the classroom seemed to blur as I fought back panic.

_Shit!_

I had intended to run for the front desk, the infirmary, an office, an empty classroom -- anywhere with a phone.

 _Calm down,_ I told myself. _I'll have other opportunities. It's only the first class._

I held in a shiver of fear as Laito snaked behind me, devoutly opening the door and nodding me through, a wicked gleam in his eye. My heart thudded in my ears as I realized I would be alone in a hallway with him.

 _He won't try anything here,_ I tried to reassure myself. _It would blow their cover._

Or would their father just cover _for_ them?

Laito shut the door too fast, blocking my way as I turned to dart back into the classroom.

A tingle prickled slowly up the back of my neck as I stared through the emptiness around us. The silence in the hallway was eerie, as if no other living soul was in the building.

"Ladies room is this way," Laito said, putting his hand on my lower back and pushing me a few steps down the empty corridor. He paused and studied me intently for a moment, as if trying to measure me in some fashion. "But you weren't really going to the restroom, _were you,_ Bitch-chan?" The vampire pulled me in close and breathed into my neck. "You weren't planning on escaping already,~ were you?"

I shoved him, but he held tighter, as if expecting my reaction.

"You can't ever escape, you know." He wrapped both arms around me, his hands spreading out over my back, pressing me into him.

"Let go of me," I said into his chest. I intended it as a demand but it came out sounding like a plea.

One of his hands slid all the way up to my face to cup my jaw. The tips of his fingers rested in my hair as I struggled in his arms.

"Blood like yours. . . we'd never let that go." Laito pushed my face up and kissed my forehead. "You can try, but you will never get away from us.~"

I let out a soft whimper, tears pooling in my eyes. I tried to force them back. I didn't want him to see that his words had such a strong effect on me, that I could sense the conviction in his tone and that it shook me to my core.

Taking a deep breath and somehow steadying my voice, I said, "Just show me where the restroom is."

Laito slowly dropped his arms and said with a smile, "Right this way,~ Bitch-chan."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The brothers actually only eat a normal meal together once a month, as a request by their father (apparently to bond like a normal human family). But it makes more sense to me if they were forced to do that kind of ritual daily, so that's something that is different for my story


	11. Resignation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri feels helpless and trapped, wondering if she should just give up against a certain persistent, perverted vampire that won't leave her alone, even at school.
> 
> *Trigger warning for violence and sexual assault *

 

I should have known Laito wouldn't lead me to the restroom. I should have bolted back into the classroom when I had the chance.

_Why didn't I?_

I had been afraid Laito would tell Reiji, hadn't I? I had wanted to play out my lie so that I could later defend myself if I needed to, so that I could tell Reiji, "I wasn't trying to escape. I really did have to use the bathroom."

All of that seemed to matter very little now.

"Won't someone from class come looking for us?" I asked Laito, my voice edging into panic, as the lock to the storage room clicked with a deafening thud.

"They let us do whatever~ we want here," the vampire said, turning from the door to face me, his lips curling as he took in my terrified expression.

I stepped back as he slowly advanced. His footsteps were soft on the carpet, but they pounded in my ears. A table hit my tailbone and I leaned my hands back on it to support my shaking legs.

My eyes darted around the small room. A high window let light in from a bright street lamp. It poured on the shelves full of books, and the desks and tables and chairs scattered about haphazardly. How could any of it help me against this persistent vampire? It suddenly seemed as if I were drowning and nothing around me would keep me afloat.

A thought vaguely flickered in my mind and I voiced it aloud. "Won't Reiji be pissed? We have the rest of school to get through."

"I don't care what that megane thinks," Laito said, stopping in front of me, his voice softer, his heavy green eyes roaming over my body in a way that made me want to squirm. He was undressing me with his eyes and was not in the least discreet about it. In fact, he seemed to be daring me to react.

"Please don't do this here," I implored, my voice cracking with fear. _Don't do this anywhere,_ I wanted to add, but the words caught in my throat.

_Why does he keep doing this to me?_

An unfamiliar feeling begin to unravel in my mind: Resignation.

Never in my life had I felt this trapped, this utterly powerless. What could I do against them? The vampires were inhumanly faster and stronger than me, and every time they had me cornered it was like being chained all over again. I wasn't sure how many days had passed by since they'd kidnapped me, days I'd spent either passed out or being attacked. So far I'd only managed a single escape attempt, one that wasn't even authentic, but just a trick to hunt me down. And now that I had a second opportunity, I'd already failed at it.

Feelings of hopelessness tumbled over me even more as I thought about the dark miles in the limo ride, where no one was even near the mansion to help me, nowhere to run if I managed to get away.

And Tougo Sakamaki, their powerful father -- why had he even taken me? What resources did he have to keep me from escaping? 

Then there was Reiji's threats to throw me in the dungeon if I spoke to someone. . . then the way they were guarding me at school. . . and Laito's words in the hallway, saying they'd never let me go. . .

What could I _possibly_ do?

"Ah~, Bitch-chan," Laito said, grinning his deceivingly friendly grin and reaching up to gently rub my shoulders. "How I've so wanted to see that look on your face again. That beautiful look of fear."

Laito ran a hand along the side of my face and bent forward as if to kiss me. I winced, turning my face, and his lips collided with my cheek. But that didn't deter him. The vampire skimmed his mouth from my cheek to my ear and whispered, "But the fear makes you _excited_ , doesn't it? Because you want me to give you pleasure, don't you, Bitch-chan?"

My pulse throbbed as he pressed his strong, slender body into mine. I tried to back away, but my rear end only pressed further into the table. I kept my hands balanced onto the sturdy wood, not letting him push me onto it. I wanted to shove him off me and run, but I knew I wouldn't make it to the door, much less have time to unlock it.

What could I do?

_Nothing._

_There's nothing I can do against a vampire. Is it even worth it to try? They can't suck me dry, at least. Perhaps they can't even kill me at all. So maybe I should just let him do whatever he's going to do and get it over with._

Laito seemed to sense the resignation in me, as if he could smell it. Giggling eagerly, he pushed in closer, his body rubbing up against mine. With a groan of unmistakable yearning, he brushed his fangs against my neck. I let out a shallow gasp, preparing for him to bite. But he didn't.

Instead, Laito smiled against my skin as he spoke in a rapid, breathless voice, "Oh, Bitch-chan, I will make you feel _so good,_ don't worry. I'll give you pleasure that will flow from your neck, to your chest and down to your _cute_ little breasts. . ." His hands began following his words and my gasp turned to a whimper. "Then down to the soft place  _deeply_ inside of you."

A sob rose in my chest as his hand descended down over my skirt and between my legs. "St..op," I choked, tears welling in my eyes.

But the redhead only kept going, "Then the pleasure will go to your thighs where your strength will be _stolen_ ,~ and then it'll even flow to your feet." His hand glided up my torso to the bows on my uniform. The color drained from my face as I realized he was untying them. "Your body will lose control and you'll end up _begging~_ me to suck you and _fuck_ you, and you won't be able to stop yourself. You'll crave~ me,  _all_ of me. My fangs, my hands, my cock _inside_ you."

A total sense of disgust turned over in my stomach. _No_. _No. NO! I can't resign myself to this!_

"Stop it!" I forced all of my energy into my arms and shoved the vampire with everything I had. Not expecting it, he staggered backwards, his hat sailing off his head. 

Wasting not even half a second, I scrambled for the door, my hands flying out in front of me to flip the lock.

 _Let me make it! Let me make it!_ I prayed as the door seemed miles away, through thick molasses.

Just as my fingers grasped the metal, Laito's arms yanked my waist from behind.

"No!" I screamed as I fell to the floor, Laito's heavy weight straddling my hips. "No!" I fiercely repeated the word, letting it tear out of my mouth as loud as my lungs could muster, hoping someone would hear it. But his hand plummeted over my lips, blocking the sound.

My fists hammered into Laito's chest, my body bucking underneath him. Struggling violently, I released stifled screams, thrashing my head back and forth, frantic to shake Laito's heavy hand off. Breathing rigorously through my nose, I unleashed all of my strength against his. I didn't care that I couldn't win. It was suddenly overwhelmingly important that I try, my need to fight overpowering any sense of surrender I might've had. And for that I was grateful. I never wanted to feel that again. Ever.

Laito's dark laughter broke through his grunts to hold me down. "Ah~ah. Bitch-chan. I thought I _had~_ you. I wanted to see that look of despair on your face. But, this is even _better_."

Somehow he caught both of my flailing wrists in his free hand and pinned them above my head. He suddenly loomed over my face, his nose nearly touching mine, his face bright and glowing with lust. "I _do~_ like those eyes your giving me now. It makes me want to defeat them, and make them _submit_."

I clamped my eyes shut, not wanting to give the vampire anything he saw. He chuckled, his red hair tickling my cheeks. Then without warning, his hand on my mouth jerked my face to the side, and Laito bit roughly into my neck.

I screeched into his hand, the pain catching every nerve ending on fire. I kicked my legs, twisted my body, contorted my wrists in his large hand. But he plunged deeper the more I fought. It felt as if he were trying to rip my throat out. Like a busted fountain, my blood spurted into his mouth. Tears fell from my eyes and the strength drained out of me as quickly as the blood. Euphoria rapidly spread throughout my body, weakness taking over with each gulp he swallowed.

And Laito knew it.

As my body stilled, the redhead eventually tugged his fangs out of my veins and lifted his face to mine. His lips were stained with my blood, and I could smell the metallic odor as he spoke, "I'm going to remove my hand now. If you scream, you'll regret it. _Okay_ ,~ Bitch-chan?"

I no longer cared what he did to me. I only had the murderous desire to fight, even if I had lost all of my strength. But Laito didn't wait for an answer. He slipped his fingers off my mouth, and I drew in a long breath, prepared to release whatever sound I could.

But the vampire was ready for me. Faster than half a blink, he let go of my wrists, shoving my white ribbon into my mouth.

"No! No!" I desperately screamed, but the cloth absorbed the sound. Then, realizing my hands were free, I tried to slam them into his face as he tied the wide strip of fabric behind my head. But I was far too weak and slow. And he was far too fast. He snatched both my wrists in one hand, and swooped my maroon bow around them with the other -- cinching them together with unnatural speed.

I screamed in my throat, biting through the cloth, grimacing in fury.

 _Fuck you!_ I wailed at him through the dizziness in my mind, scraping my wrists against the ribbon, trying to slip them loose. But the knot was impossibly secure, even if I'd had any strength.

_No! Fuck you! Goddamn it!_

Laito had me completely snared, like a prey in a ravenous predator's trap.

He sat back on his haunches, running a hand through his hair, observing his triumph. "Ahh, I _do~_ love having such a feisty bitch-chan," he smiled.

I shot ice at him through my blue eyes, and I hoped he felt it.

"And I _love~_ how you're glaring at me!" The vampire's entire body shook as he laughed. "You know what I think? I think you're glaring to hide how _good_ it feels. Aren't you?"

The cloth absorbed the anger screaming from my throat as the truth of his words hit me like a mach truck. It _did_ feel good. After the pain of their fangs, came the pleasure -- that heated, exquisite _pleasure_. Like heroin, it was a drug, making me float, giving me a sense of peace, of relief, of overpowering surrender. It was taking everything within me to resist it, to hold onto my anger and my will to fight.

And it wasn't just the euphoria. It seemed the more their fangs pierced my skin, the better my body felt overall -- as if instead of blood, they sucked away all the pain, all the sickness, all the misery of the past two years, returning my body back to its normal, healthy state.

And I _hated_ it.

"Ah, but it's fine," Laito grinned, his face flushed. "I _like_ you this way, Bitch-chan." He bent down to my ear and whispered happily, "There aren't any other women I want, now that I've had a taste of you. You are so much more _fun~_ than all the others we've had"

_So that's why he won't leave me alone._

Closing my eyes and gripping tightly to my bravery, I tried to block out the image of him over me. I hoped that the bell would ring, that someone would come looking for us, that someone would have heard us, that someone would discover us.

But only silence seemed to be in the world around us. It felt like hours had passed by, though realistically it had probably only been ten or fifteen minutes. And Laito didn't seem the least worried about getting caught.

While one of his hands firmly held my arms above my head, the other started working on unbuttoning my blazer, followed by the white blouse underneath. 

"It’s _sooo_   _cute_ how you try to defy me," he said, his voice unexpectedly soft and quiet. "But you should understand already. No matter how _much_ you try, you'll never be free."

His eyes met mine as he said those words. The seriousness in his tone brought out a weighted sob in my chest, but I swallowed hard, forcing it back.

Laito rustled my shirt open. I shivered as the cool air touched my chest and stomach. Back at the mansion, I hadn't bothered with finding a bra since the uniform jacket covered me well enough. I tearfully regretted that now.

My teeth clenched against the cloth in my mouth as Laito leaned down, tracing his lips across my sternum. His hand wandered to my exposed breast, his thumb roughly caressing the nipple. I drew breath sharply, muffled whimpers catching in my throat as an unwelcome electric charge surged throughout my entire body. 

The vampire shamelessly moaned against my skin as his mouth journeyed to the other breast. "Your heart is here," he panted, "where the blood is _fresh_."

My back arched involuntarily as Laito bit down just above my breast. I was thankful he didn't bite there first, as I was sure it would have hurt like hell.

I wasn't prepared for his hand to drift between my legs as he sucked. Stifled gasps gathered behind the fabric in my mouth as his fingers slipped under my skirt. I squirmed, trying to squeeze my thighs shut, but it was a futile resistance against his strength. As his hand glided slowly up the last inch of my thigh, he emitted a deep groan against my chest as he slipped beneath my underwear.

_Goddamn him!_

My head rolled back, my teeth gritting the ribbon in my mouth as an unexpected flood of pleasure accompanied his finger sliding inside me. The sensation sent the breath out of my body in a rush, leaving in short, shallow bursts as he thrust deeper, curling hard and forcing low, desperate sounds from my throat.

_Jesus Christ! What is this? More effects of the fucking euphoria?_

I tried to kick out at him, tried to twist away, but it was useless. I was trapped beneath him, blinded and immobilized by all the sensations hitting my body at once: his hand in my interior, his mouth at my chest, his moans and mine in my ears, the weight of his body holding me down, the bindings on my wrists, the gag in my mouth. And all of it accompanied by adrenaline and fear and euphoria. And now, to my horror, arousal.

An angry voice broke through it all, resounding in the small storage room. "You bastard! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

My eyes shot up, my breathing jagged and strained as I registered the door still shut and locked.

"Ayato-kun," Laito said cheerfully, raising his head from my chest. "Come to join us?~"

"Don't fuck with me," Ayato growled, appearing out of nowhere. "Already, you asshole? It's only first hour!" The lines of his body rippled with feral rage as his gaze fixed on me. "Move the hell away from my prey right now!"

I winced as Laito removed his hand from under my skirt and sat up. "And what if I don't want to?" he taunted, gliding his fingers down my torso, between my breasts. I wriggled beneath him, whimpering softly at being so vulnerable and exposed to both of them.

"Then I'll take you to the rooftop and throw you off!" Ayato's fists clenched, his voice becoming a guttural snarl.

Laito only laughed. "Pushing people off high places is _my~_ specialty you know."

Ayato's fangs bared in anger, the green in his eyes darkening as his hands flexed at his sides. Both the brothers had an edge to their voices that I didn't understand.

"I told you before. Don't touch what is mine so freely!" Ayato hissed as he shoved Laito off my hips and grabbed my arm, jerking me to my feet.

I stumbled as Ayato gripped my arm harshly, my body still reeling from the euphoria. But he held me up, pulling me in close to him, almost protectively. To my relief, my shirt and blazer covered my breasts as I stood.

As I watched Laito pick himself off the floor, I raised my bound hands to my mouth and yanked the cloth out along with a few strands of hair that had gotten caught.

Eyeing us both, Laito chuckled. "This isn't a competition, Ayato-kun. She belongs to all of us."

"I don't belong to _any_ of you," I spat, venom shooting from my words as I fought to catch my breath.

They both ignored me and I sensed this wasn't an argument just about me.

"She belongs to _me, first_ ," Ayato snapped, a deadly sharpness to his voice.

The brothers stared each other down for a long moment, and a consuming silence hovered over the room, the only sound my labored breathing. Unspoken words, unresolved emotions, seemed to hang in the air between them.

Laito finally chuckled. "Fine, fine, Ayato-kun. It doesn't matter to me. I'll have her either way."

Laito casually picked his fedora off the floor and adjusted it on his head, swiping his hair out of his face in the process. He walked over to us, smirking. Ayato emitted a low growl from his throat, as though he were a dog protecting a bone.

Bending over, Laito pecked my cheek. "See you in fifth hour,~ Bitch-chan," he smiled, and I thought Ayato would knock him in the face. But he only glared as his brother unlocked the door and left the room.

I breathed an audible sigh of relief and turned to thank Ayato for his timing. But the words never had the chance to leave my mouth.

Ayato charged me, slamming me against the door. His fingers curled around my throat and squeezed, his snarling face inches from mine. "Why'd you let him do that? Hah?!"

His hand dug into the fresh wound on my neck and I clawed at him with my tied hands, kicking out with my legs. 

_What the hell is he doing?! He's blaming me for this?!_

"You belong to me _first_ , not someone like Laito!" he hissed, his grip tightening. For the second time in a week I thought my windpipe might be crushed.

"Is it painful, hah?! This is your punishment." Ayato's voice lowered dangerously as his hand slipped under my open shirt, sending a jolt down my spine. "I'll train your body so that it knows who you belong to."

I tried to scream, tried to plead with my eyes for him to let go. He only sneered at my anguish, his eyes burning with anger as his hand snaked up my back.

"Your blood, your body. It's mine. You won't want anyone else after me."

Ayato hurled his lips onto mine, kissing me roughly. Dark spots started to cross my vision, pulling me down as my ears began to ring.

 _Why is he doing this?_ I cried inwardly.

Ayato pulled back from the kiss and his face darkened. He finally released his hold on my neck, and I gasped frantically for air, trembling and choking to breathe it in. His hand remained on my throat, brushing it with his thumb, almost lovingly, as my body heaved.

"You really. . . you have no idea what you do to us, do you?" His voice sounded far away, as if he were speaking underwater.

He moved his hand from my neck to gently stroke my face. The sudden tenderness took me by surprise. The little boy I'd held in my arms suddenly flared in my mind, and just then, I thought I saw a piece of him in the eyes of the vampire before me. My shoulders shook as I tried to breathe, as I struggled to understand the wave of sadness that flushed through me.

Ayato bowed his head into my neck. I felt the air move as he absorbed the scent from Laito's bite. "You're blood. . ." he trailed off as his tongue met my neck. "It. . . overwhelms me. . ." He submerged his fangs into the open wound, pulling out the crimson liquid from my veins.

Holding my bound wrists to my chest, I closed my eyes and focused on breathing.

_How did that little boy turn into this?_

The bell suddenly rang, jostling my nerves in surprise. I wasn't sure if I should feel relieved as Ayato pulled away from my neck while the muffled sounds of students filled the halls.

 _Is he going to let me go?_  

Ayato's lips rolled into a crooked smile as he reached beside me and locked the door. The sound jarred my heart with fear.

_Oh god. . . What's he doing?_

The redhead hastily picked me up, holding me to his chest, and carrying me to the table I'd been pressed against with Laito.

"What are you doing?" I tried to scream, but my voice came out low and rasping, still recovering from being strangled.

Ayato threw me on the table and climbed on top of me. His weight against me made it hard to breathe.

"I'm going to take you now, before that pervert gets another chance," he said, his hand coiling up my thigh and bending it against his hip.

"No! Wait!" I screeched, the sound grating against my sore throat. "Please don't do this! Not here!" I forgot to add "not anywhere" again, and this time the vampire noticed.

"Hmm, at home then?" Ayato smirked, his eyes gleaming.

Before I could respond, another voice blew through the room. "Ayato!"

We both turned our heads to find Reiji glowering at us.

"Seriously. No wonder it took me so long to find her. The scent of her blood is wafting through the entire school but both yours _and_ Laito's scent masked its exact location." Reiji's eyes narrowed as his frown deepened. "What is going on here? How many times do I have to tell you, Ayato. This is not permitted at school."

"Shit," Ayato sighed, shifting his lithe body. "Not again, Reiji. I was just getting to the best part."

The muscles in Reiji's jaw tensed. "You're a disgrace," he said in a hushed voice, full of suppressed rage.

But Ayato seemed to understand that a fight with his elder brother would not be in his best interest. Grumbling, he rose off the table, brushing himself off, as if that would fix his hopelessly disheveled appearance.

I quickly sat up and immediately regretted it as the world spun sickeningly around me. Ayato and Laito both had drank vigorously, and my veins seemed to pulse with dizziness now instead of blood.

As I took a deep breath to steady the whirling room, Ayato turned and suddenly grabbed my face.

"After school, you're _mine_."

His tone held a deadly promise that made my heart freeze inside my ribcage.

He laughed widely and turned, opening the door and strolling out into the recently emptied hallway.

I watched him go, dumbfounded. And terrified.

When the door closed behind the redheaded vampire, Reiji cleared his throat and fixed me with a stony gaze. I swallowed hard, feeling cold and exposed, and utterly frightened. I hugged my tied arms close to my chest.

Reiji wordlessly stepped in front of me. After a long pause towering over me, he grabbed my wrists. I yelped, jumping at the sudden movement, but my shoulders relaxed a little when he began untying my hands.

"Th-Thank you," I whispered faintly, though the gesture only seemed to piss him off.

"Honestly. You couldn't even stay out of trouble for one hour?" Reiji crudely tore off the ribbon and threw my hands back to me, tossing the bow on my lap.

"How can you say that! What's wrong with you!" I exclaimed hoarsely, becoming pissed off myself. " _They_ attacked me!"

"That is enough!" Reiji somehow yelled without raising his voice. "You do not talk back to me. You still do not seem to understand your position here."

I gawked at him, but the malice in his red eyes scared me into silence.

"You will fix yourself, and I will escort you to your next class." Reiji commanded with a firmness that dared me to argue.

 _He expects me to go back to class? Like this?_ I thought incredulously, but Reiji's scowl halted me from voicing the words aloud.

Reiji's eyes roamed over my messed up state, and I saw his Adam's apple move up and down, lingering on my healing wound.

 _Oh no_. My pulse jumped as I realized he was controlling his thirst.

_He hasn't bitten me yet. How long can vampires go without feeding? How long will it be before he takes his turn?_

I shivered, pulling my shirt closed, my hands trembling as I buttoned it. Reiji didn't take his intense eyes off of me as I fixed the shirt and blazer. I untied the white ribbon from behind my neck, but adjusting either bows without a mirror proved impossible.

Reiji sighed exasperatedly and reached up to help. "Your shirt has blood on it as well, but I can fix it so that it isn't noticeable."

I flinched as his cold hands slid around my collar, arranging the fabric. The tension pulsating from him had me barely breathing.

"Keep your hair on your shoulders. Ayato left a handprint around your throat and the hair will hide the bite as well. Though, it's already healing," he commented as he finished.

"Oh," was all I could say as I ran my fingers through my long hair and arranged it so that it covered my neck in shadow.

I scooted off the table and dizzily stood up. Gathering my bearings, I smoothed my jacket and skirt, lifting my eyes to Reiji.

He stared at me, his lips pressed in a thin line. I felt as if my knees might buckle under that glare. He hadn't attacked me or hurt me in any way but he terrified me as much as -- or perhaps even more than -- the vampires who had.

Ayato's threat then flashed in my mind and suddenly Reiji didn't seem so frightening.

_"After school, you're mine."_

Suppressing a shiver, my fingernails dug into my palms. I _had_ to find a phone before the end of the school day.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by several chapters in the first game. In Laito's route, he ties Yui up at school with her bow and drinks her blood,(but she doesn't fight back like Sayuri does). And in Ayato's route, he was going to "take" Yui in the school storage room before Reiji interrupted. In another chapter, Ayato also chokes Yui for letting Kanato almost suck her blood, blaming her for it. There are quotes taken from a few drama cds too.
> 
> Here are the translations I used. All credits go to the translators:  
> [More Blood Vol. 7 Laito](http://diabolik-lovers.wikia.com/wiki/Diabolik_Lovers_MORE,BLOOD_Vol.7_Laito_Sakamaki/Translation)  
>  [Ayato VS Laito](http://diabolik-lovers.wikia.com/wiki/Diabolik_Lovers_VERSUS_II_Vol.1_Ayato_VS_Laito/Translation)
> 
> Here are the route summaries:  
> [Ayato](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2012/10/27/diabolik-lovers-sakamaki-ayato-2/)  
> [Laito](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2014/07/08/diabolik-lovers-sakamaki-laito-2/)


	12. Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri is terrified after the storage room assault and realizes she needs to escape the vampires immediately.

 

The remnants of euphoria and fear from the brothers' attack disoriented me so much that I couldn't even seem to identify up from down. But somehow I managed to make my legs work, following Reiji down the hallway to my second class.  

My limbs quivered in relief when neither Ayato nor Laito were responsible for "guarding" me in that class. In fact, they weren't in my third hour either. 

Instead, Kanato took on that job for those two classes. The purple-eyed vampire didn't say much once Reiji dropped me off, aside from a bone-chilling whisper that I must ask his permission for anything while under his "care".

I was in too much of a daze at that point to focus on him. So overwhelmed and frightened that my eyes blurred, I only fixed my gaze beyond the rows of students, to the night outside the huge windows on the other side of the classroom.

Eventually, I couldn't stop my mind from thinking about what had happened and what _would_ happen if I didn't find a way out. Ayato would rape me, that much was certain. And so would Laito. _Would the others?_ I closed my eyes, tremors raking across my skin.

_Monsters. They're monsters._

Then, like a persistent nagging fly, the painting of the triplets as children worked its way into my mind.

_Were they always monsters?_

For one fraction of a second after Ayato had strangled me, something had flickered in his eyes, something that I had seen in my dream.

_Vulnerability._

My lips thinned in anger at what the lavender haired woman -- his _mother,_ Cordelia -- had shouted in that dream as she drowned him:  _"You must be the strongest! First! The best! Or I'm done with you!"_

Had it been just a dream? Or somehow an actual memory? It felt excrutiatingly real. In my old life I never would have believed such a thing. But, at this point, it seemed anything was possible.

If the dream was a piece of a real memory, what did it mean? If Ayato were human, then a cruel mother like her would certainly turn him into a monster. So, what would it do to a vampire? Or perhaps vampire children were already born as predatory monsters? Perhaps that was acceptable behavior for a mother in the vampire world?

 _No, it wasn't._ The boy's tears and the anguish in his eyes told me it was _not_ acceptable behavior of a vampire mother. Whether the dream was real or not, my heart still ached at the sorrow in that boy's eyes.

My back stiffened in the chair as the certainty suddenly hit me. I remembered Ayato's almost neurotic fury at not being the first to bite me. And he was obsessed beyond reason with fucking me first, at making me want him the most. He'd even been pissed at not being the first to lay eyes on me.

I visibly shivered, somehow _knowing_ with every ounce of my being:It hadn't been a dream, but some kind of vision of Ayato's past.

_How? Why?_

I stared out into the classroom, neither seeing nor hearing anything around me, my thoughts consuming me.

_Christ, that horrid woman was the mother of Laito as well, wasn't she?_

I ran a hand through my hair, thinking of all the things Laito had done to me. None of the others had attacked me to the extent that he had, not even Ayato. 

 _J_ _esus, what had she done to_ him?

My mind raced, my thoughts shifting to their father.  _Karlheinz._ _He's done only god knows what to me. What did he do to his own kids?_

I winced and sat back in my chair, as if I could physically move away from all these disturbing thoughts.

The bell for second hour had rung then, abruptly splitting me out of the chaos in my mind, and Kanato had herded me to the next class. The vampire hadn't spoken two words to me since my first night in the house and I had no idea what to expect from him compared to the other brothers. But my instincts told me to be careful, particularly since his mother was that vile creature. 

Though small in stature -- only a few inches taller than me -- Kanato had a threatening atmosphere around him. The teddy bear he carried -- and talked to constantly -- only added to his aura of danger. Maybe it should have made him appear innocent and harmless, but for me it had the opposite effect.

During that third hour with him, I shook all the troubling thoughts from my mind. They didn't matter. Their childhoods meant nothing to me. What _mattered_ was getting out of this nightmare.

I forced my focus back on my plan, my determination to get to a phone. As the teacher played a documentary for the class, I eyed Kanato thoughtfully during the show.

_If I ask him to go to the bathroom, will he follow me like Laito did?_

Probably _._

But it was still worth a try.

I must not have realized I was staring at him as much as I was. He leaned over and growled at me through clenched teeth. "Teddy says to stop looking at us."

I blinked at him. Was he joking? _The teddy tells him things?_  

But the anger that played across his face sent a chill down my spine.

"I'm sorry," I apologized in a whisper. "I was just wondering if I could use the restroom." It felt insane asking a teddy bear-holding, child-like male for permission for such a thing.

Laughter danced in Kanato's eyes, a smile slowly curling at the corners of his mouth. "No," he firmly whispered, obviously pleased with the power he was wielding over me. I had the impression that he didn't have that kind of influence over his brothers.

I didn't ask twice, but instead reclined back in my chair, thinking. How many class periods were there? How many more chances would I get? I wondered what would happen if I simply got up and ran out the door. What would he do?

 _It probably wouldn't matter. Reiji, or one of the others, would catch me in the halls. And then take me back to the mansion and_ torture _me._

I shivered. _Is it worth the risk?_

I would certainly risk any level of pain to get back to my son.

 _But not yet._ Not when there's still a chance to get to a phone. However, with Ayato's threat looming over me, it was getting harder and harder to keep my patience.

If it came down to it, I would risk anything for my child. Yet, thinking of him only made despair wrap around my chest, squeezing tightly. I had to push thoughts of him away or I would break into hysteria. As traumatized as I was from Laito and Ayato and the entire ordeal, nothing hurt me more than being taken from my son.

My eyes shut for a moment, suddenly longing for the days when my biggest challenge had been getting out of bed. I had hated that illness, and how many days it left me without the ability to do much of anything, even shower or eat, how it robbed me of my career, my husband, my hobbies.

But it hadn't taken my life.

_No. These vampires have ripped that away._

A lump of anger began to rise in my throat. I turned my head, and out of the corner of my eye, I glared at Kanato playing absent-mindedly with his bear on his desk. I had the sudden, intense urge to rip the head off the stupid bear and ask him how he likes having something precious snatched from him.

_These fucking vampires took more than that horrid illness ever did._

My son. My mother. My body. My freedom.

 _Everything._   

I suddenly didn't give a shit about patience and caution and biding my time. In that instant, the lump of anger grew into a boulder I could no longer suppress. And it burst out of me like a cannon.

_Fuck it! Fuck them all!_

The blinding rage hurled me out of my seat with a clatter, and bolted me toward the door.

I didn't look back to see the students staring at me in disbelief. And I defintely didn't look to see if Kanato came after me. With a groan of desperation and fury, I threw open the door and took off down the hallway, my hair flying out behind me, my dress shoes clacking violently on the tile floor.

Adrenaline pumped through me, launching my legs towards where I thought the main staircase was. Turning a corner, I skidded and slipped, nearly falling. But I caught myself and pushed forward, my heart pounding to the beat of my feet smacking the floor. I rounded another corner when the bell suddenly rang, sending jolts of fear through my veins.

Throngs of students filled in around me and I collided with too many of them. But I didn't stop, _couldn't_ stop, regardless of how many stares and curses were flung my way.

Most of the students were much taller than me, and I desperately pushed through them, trying to see around their massive bodies. My muscles shook with the fear that I'd run right past the staircase and get cornered on a dead-end.

 _Though, maybe the crowd is hiding me,_ I thought with a surge of hope.

My pulse jumped with relief as I spotted the banister. Picking up my speed, I dodged and weaved through startled students.

But a large crowd had gathered at the top of the stairs, blocking them completely by the time I reached it. Panic began edging its way into my veins as I was forced to stop running and slowly push my way through.

In my growing terror, I didn't noticed the mass of bodies becoming excited and noisy. But then I realized someone was crying out, and someone else was shouting. Grunting and squeezing through the swarm, I struggled through the kids wedged in tightly, even shoving people in my hindered haste. One asshole shoved me back, and I tumbled to my hands and knees into an opening.

Looking up, I saw the crowd had formed a circle around a fight. If not in a mad dash for my life, I might've rolled my eyes, as the memories of high school flooded back to me. But then my breath hitched in my throat.

Subaru -- whom I'd witnessed pulverize a tree trunk with ease the night I ran into the woods -- stood angrily kicking a kid on the floor. My mouth dropped open in horror as blood spurted from the boy's nose, and then the vampire's foot connected with the boy's bony ribs. The kid couldn't have been more than fifteen and probably as small as me.

_Jesus Christ! He's going to kill him!_

Without thinking, I scrambled to my feet and ran to Subaru, reaching for his arm and screaming, "Stop! Subaru, don't!"

The vampire's elbow collided with my mouth just as my fingers grazed his arm.

Before my back hit the floor several feet away, I caught the look of astonishment spread across Subaru's face.

"What the fuck!" he yelled as he turned to me, his eyes blazing.

The force of my body slamming onto the floor knocked the wind out of my lungs. For the second time that day, my vision began to go dark, and I fought the urge to black out. Crimson dripped on the tile as I rolled onto my side, struggling to breathe. My hand flew to my mouth and came away bloody.

Wide-eyed, but unconcerned about myself, my gaze shot behind me, searching for the injured kid. He was miraculously staggering to his feet as Subaru stormed over to me, wearing an expression of total shock.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he snarled, his hands clenching at his sides.

"I should be. . . asking _you. . ._ that question!" I coughed out, my breath trapped in my throat. "How could you beat. . . a _kid. . ._ like that!"

Subaru bent over, reaching to pull me to my feet. With an angry mutter, I harshly slapped his hand away and jumped up myself. Wavering on my legs, I stumbled to the skinny boy wiping blood from his face. The crowd, sensing the action was over, had already began to disperse with hisses of disappointment.

"Are you okay?" I rasped, gently resting a hand on the boy's shoulder.

He brushed my hand off. "I'm fine!" he snapped, his ego probably wounded from being saved by a girl.

Despite my concern for him, that irritated me. "Hey! You don't treat a woman that way," I scolded, my voice laced with authority, forgetting the kid saw me as a teenager just like him.

"I'm not the problem!" the boy spat back, pointing at Subaru. "How can this school allow violent people like him!" 

I followed the kid's gaze and wondered the same thing myself. With his teeth clenched and his knuckles white, Subaru's eyes fumed at the boy.

"You need to get out of here. _Now_ ," I told the kid, but he was already picking up his glasses and books off the floor and heading down the hallway.

Suddenly my reason for being in the halls came flashing back to me.

_Shit! I have to get out of here too!_

I spun around, my eyes searching for Kanato. My blood ran cold as I caught sight of the teddy bear vampire stalking towards me down the quickly emptying hall. And Ayato was close behind.

_Oh god!_

"Come on." Subaru's gruff voice broke through my rising fear. Grabbing my arm, he dragged me toward the stairs.

"Ow, let go of me!" I shrieked just as the bell rang. Trying not to fall, I stumbled on the steps in his tight grip.

"Just come on!" He grumbled forcefully, pulling even harder.

I dared to look behind us. Ayato and Kanato leered down from the banister, their hands resting on the rail. I squinted up at them in confusion. Were they not going to come after me? I glanced back at Subaru, tugging me along angrily. It struck me that perhaps they didn't want to mess with their bad-tempered brother. 

But at that moment, I preferred to be with Subaru than them. Strangely, staying close to him helped staunch the fear pounding in my head.

Subaru hauled me through the empty rotunda and through a hallway with offices arranged behind open doors. He pushed me through one such door, but instead of office furniture, the room contained cots and curtains and medical supplies.

_He brought me to the infirmary?_

A full mix of surprise and confusion washed over my face. "What are we doing here?"

The vampire threw me a look of annoyance. "Just sit down."

Too puzzled to disobey, I did as he asked, perching myself on the edge of a cot.

"Where the fuck is the nurse?" the white-haired vampire growled, searching the room and peeking his head into the hallway.

_Nurse?_

It dawned on me then.

_My mouth!_

My hand swept across the injury I'd forgotten all about.

_I must still be feeling the painkilling effects of the attack from earlier._

I had been so wrapped up in my fury, concentrating on running away, that I hadn't even noticed I was still experiencing the effects.

I stood up to find a mirror, to see how bad it was. But Subaru had already walked over to me and pushed me back down. "I said sit," he grumbled.

Standing over the cot, he leaned in and grabbed my chin. Inspecting the wound, his frown deepened. "Why did you do that? Hah? Why'd you get in the way?"

I jerked my face away angrily. "Because you were beating up a kid! Your strength is inhuman! You could have killed him!"

Subaru straightened. "He was a punk! He deserved it!"

"It doesn't matter!" I retorted, my voice rising. "No one deserves that! Especially not a kid!"

The vampire's lips quivered in rage and for a terrifying moment he seemed as if he might hit _me_ in place of that boy.

 _I need to get control of my anger._   _Shouting at the vampire who chained me in a torture chamber isn't going to help me._

Subaru appeared to rein in his temper as well. The tension in my shoulders eased in relief as he turned from me.

"Damn. Where the hell is that nurse?" he muttered under his breath, peering unto the hallway again.

Absent-mindedly, I wiped the blood from my mouth, thinking. 

_Why did he bring me here?_

I hadn't forgotten that Subaru had released me from the dungeon, even though I'd refused to call out for him. I hadn't forgotten the disturbing gratefulness I'd felt for that either, though I'd pushed it to the far corners of my mind. The last thing I needed was a nasty case of Stockholm Syndrome.

The red-eyed vampire paced back to me, and I blinked up at him, my anger gone. My expression only held an edge of curiosity.

He heaved a sigh and reached for my chin again, pulling it up and turning it back and forth. Confused by his behavior, I decided not to fight him this time.

His brow furrowed, his eyes trailing down to my throat. "What the fuck? What is this?" 

I couldn't tell if he meant the healing bite mark or the bruising. Not that it mattered.

"Your brothers," was all I said.

He let out a snarl and dropped his hand from my jaw. "Those fucking animals."

I scoffed inwardly. _You're one of them,_ I couldn't help thinking, recalling the way he had hunted me down through the woods.

But then I startled when he suddenly sat down next to me.

He was unnervingly close, sliding his hand around the back of my neck. With a sigh, he said, "I guess I'll have to do it."

"What are y--,"

Interrupting me, he drew my face forward -- and then his lips covered mine.

My eyes flew wide in utter shock. A muffled breath lodged in my throat, my hands jumping up to push at his chest.

Subaru's peeled his lips away at my reaction, but only inches from my face.

"What was that for? Why did you do that?" I gasped, my pulse racing beneath my skin.

"Tch. Healing it. Your mouth is all busted up," he said, as if I were an idiot. Before I could say anything else, the vampire sucked my bottom lip into his mouth.

Stunned by his selfless action, I froze in place, the breath locking in my lungs as I watched him.

The intensity in his red eyes slowly lifted to meet mine, his tongue lapping at the blood just as slowly. Sparks of a sudden, disquieting -- and not entirely unpleasant -- sensation shot through my nerves.

I roughly jerked back. "That's enough," I mumbled, my stomach twisted in knots.

His eyes narrowed suspiciously, and for a second it seemed as if I angered him. My muscles tensed, but Subaru did nothing more violent than rising to his feet and marching to the door.

 _I don't understand him,_ I thought, with a shake of my head.

My memory jolted then, suddenly remembering that Subaru had healed my mangled wrists after the dungeon as well.

Hesitantly, my gaze flickered to him. "Why are you showing me kindness?" I dared to ask.

With his back to me, Subaru visibly stiffened as he paused at the door. "Kindness?" He repeated the word as if it had burned him. Closing the door, he turned to me, a slow menacing smile working its way across his face.

I immediately regretted my words.

_Oh god. Why did I say that? Why'd I even think it?_

"I told you from the very beginning. But still, it seems you just refuse to understand," he said in a tight voice, his face darkening despite the smile.

In a less than half a heart beat, Subaru was in my face, his hand fisting in my hair. "I will tell you again. You. Are. My. Food."

The vampire yanked me flat on my back, his strong torso hovering over me on the cot.

 _Shit, not again!_   _I can't even have a simple conversation without them attacking me!_

"If I don't want my food to walk around school with a fat lip, then I'll fix it as I please," he barked, his crimson eyes glowering down at me. "Your whole body is mine to do with what I want."

Nausea rolled in my stomach. "That's what your brothers said, too!" I snapped, reaching back to claw at the hand in my hair. "And I told them I don't belong to any of you! I only belong to _me_!"

It pissed me off that they saw me as an object, just something to requisition.

_Fucking animals._

That was what he said. And that was exactly what they were -- like animals claiming a prey or a female. And to them I was both.

" _Really?_ " Subaru emphasized the word and his eyes sparked in a way that suddenly made cold fear crawl along every nerve in my body. "Do you know how weak humans are?" he asked icily, slowly unwrapping his fingers from my hair.

A growing sense of danger crackled in the air around him, and I tried to scurry out of reach. But Subaru swiftly snatched both of my wrists in one hand.

"See?" He mocked in a low voice, his grip tightening, biting into my skin. "I could snap these wrists like a twig."

"No! Let go!" I retorted, my arms twisting uselessly, my bones crushing under the bruising force. Fear kicked my fight instinct into gear and my feet flailed upwards, aiming for his face. But his legs swiftly came around my middle, straddling my hips.

"Go ahead, keep resisting. I don't have to use much energy at all to pin you under me." A sinister triumph lit his face, the weight of his body easily holding me down. "See, you can’t even move," he smirked and slid his free hand over my chest just as I started to scream for help. He pressed down, _brutally_ hard _._ "If I just use a little more strength, I can easily reach in, grab your heart, and _crush_ it." 

My mouth gaped and I fought to breathe, much less scream, the force of his hand crushing me under him. I felt as if my sternum would burst.

"Whether your heart continues to beat or whether it dies, that’s all decided by me. Got it?"

Subaru's tone and demeanor left no room for argument. Reluctantly, I nodded my head, too frightened to speak even if I could.

A deep laugh shook in his throat, his soft white hair shaking along with it. The husky, rumbling sound trembled over me.

With a satisfied grunt, Subaru released the pressure on my chest. My ribs instantly expanded, the air heaving painfully into my lungs. A crooked smile turned the corner of the vampire's lips before he unlocked his fingers around my wrists and climbed off the cot.

I lay paralyzed, panting and coughing as I tried to breathe. I felt as if I was going into shock from the accumulation of the day's events.

There was also a part of me that didn't want to admit a sense of sadness at Subaru's reaction, a disturbing disappointment that he _hadn't_ shown me kindness. Nausea clenched my stomach, sickened that I felt that way. Squeezing my eyes shut, I shoved the feeling as far away from me as I could. I didn't want them to hurt me, but looking for -- and _wanting_ \-- kindness in my captors was a dangerous road to follow.

I heard Subaru jostling around, and in the next moment, a cloth landed on my stomach.

"Clean your mouth and go back to class," he said bluntly, sliding the door open.

In a dazed stupor, I listened blankly as his presence left the room. His footsteps echoed down the hall, reminding me of when he'd left me in the dungeon, chained and alone.

 _Alone_.

I sat bolt upright.

_He just left me alone!_

Scrambling to my feet, my eyes desperately darted around the room. Tears stung under my lashes, overwhelming me with a burst of joy and relief. 

Dashing to the nurse's desk, my hands fumbled, shaking violently as I seized the receiver on the phone -- a blessed, beautiful dial tone buzzing in my ear.

 

* * *

 

  
**Author's Note:** I have two directions I could take this story. One is a long version, and the other is much shorter. Both will have the same outcome though. I'm thinking of drafting the short version to see how it works. So I probably won't be updating until I decide which one I prefer.

And thank you so very much to everyone who comments and gives me kudos. This is the first fiction I've ever written, so it means a lot! It encourages me more than you know :-)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fight Subaru is involved in in this chapter is inspired by a fight he gets into at school in his route on the first game. He also threatens Yui in a similar way in the infirmary during his route in the second game.
> 
> Here is Subaru's route on HDB: [Subaru](https://www.google.com/amp/s/yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2014/01/22/diabolik-lovers-sakamaki-subaru-2/amp/)  
> And More Blood: [Subaru](http://akuichansera.tumblr.com/post/76372934348/more-blood-subaru-dark-01-translation)  
> All credits go to the translators


	13. Compulsion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri finally finds a phone and makes the call for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't had the time to work on this like I wanted to :-(. In fact this chapter is all I've gotten done since I last updated. So I am just going to update as I write and hopefully it'll be good. I have been pretty busy lately but I plan to update weekly and maybe more if I get the time.
> 
> Thank you for all the support and I really hope you guys continue to like my story! :-)

* * *

 

 

With trembling hands I frantically dialed my mother's number. Maybe I should have called the police first, but her voice was the only one I wanted to hear in that moment.

As I dialed, my thoughts raced, all of them fighting to be the one I acted on: _Hurry!_ _Dial the number! Look behind you! What do I tell her?! Is someone coming?! Go faster!_  They made me more nervous by the second.

"That is not a correct extension. Please try again," came a robotic female voice on the line. Breathing heavily with worry, my brow creased in confusion. Then I realized the phone was an inter-office phone and I probably needed to dial 9 to get an outside line.

Anxiously glancing behind me, terrified I'd be discovered, my fingers quickly redialed. But the same grating mechanized voice echoed in my ear. I punched in different combinations only to get the same result each time.

Spitting out a string of curses, I slammed the receiver down.  _Goddamn it! I find a phone, only I can't dial out?!_

But excitement shot through me when my mind sparked, remembering that every phone, even inter-office ones, should be capable of calling police directly.

 _I'll just have to try them first,_ I realized reluctantly, desperately hoping they would believe my story.

Shaking all over, and peeking at the door every few seconds, I tapped in the three digit emergency number.

The call connected, and I almost shouted in utter relief. Instead it was panic that came tumbling out of my voice when a dispatcher answered the line. "Oh my god, thank god! I need the police here right now! My name is Sayuri Ibuki and I've been kidnapped! Please! I need the police immediately!" My tone sounded like a wild animal even in my own ears.

The woman on the other end coaxed me to slow down and give her the necessary information. My mind suddenly went blank and the name of the school escaped me.

 _Damn it!_ My arms skidded across the nurse's desk _,_  wildly hustling through papers, searching for a letterhead.

"I don't know! I'm in the infirmary of some night school! Can't you tell the address from where I'm calling?!"

But if she answered me, I didn't hear it. All I heard was the sound of a throat clearing behind me.

_Oh god!_

I spun on my heels, and all at once a ringing surged in my ears, my body literally freezing in place.

Reiji stood by the door, his arms folded stiffly across his chest.

Terror flooded over me as our eyes locked, the vampire's hard gaze smoldering behind his glasses.

_No! No! No! This can't be happening, not now!_

I tried to scream but my mouth wouldn't open. I tried to run but my legs wouldn't move.

The dispatcher continued to ask me questions as I struggled to answer. Her voice seemed to come at me from across a great, unreachable distance. "Ma'am, are you there?"

 _Yes! I'm here! Send someone RIGHT NOW!_  I howled in my head. But my mouth wouldn't release the words.

_Why can't I talk?! Why can't I move?!_

Reiji's footsteps thundered in my ears as he advanced toward me.

_No! Oh god! Come on, move!_

But my body ignored me.

He stopped in front of me, his face a dark mask, his red eyes piercing me with fury. I could only watch as he snatched the phone from my hand. I blinked in disbelief as my arm remained in the air, as if I were still holding the receiver.

_I'm paralyzed! What did he do to me?!_

The vampire's malevolent eyes never left mine as he spoke into the receiver. "Hello? This is the nurse at Ryoutei Academy," he said calmly, disguising his voice. "I apologize for the call. I have a student here who hit her head quite hard. I stepped outside the infirmary for a moment and she must have hallucinated."

 _No! No! No!_ The word exploded through my head over and over. _No! Goddamn it! No!_

"Yes, you can send someone out to check, of course." Reiji's features darkened with each word that left his mouth. It seemed like all the air was being sucked out of the room and my chest constricted so tightly that it hurt to breathe.

He finished the call and reached behind me to hang up the phone. His arm brushed my shoulder and a chill traveled through my body, a foreboding sense of horror.

 _He's going to kill me!_ Suffocating fear pounded through me. _No. . . he's going to do much worse._

I wanted to cry out. I wanted to scream. But all I could do was stand there, completely incapacitated, breathing in the danger.

Reiji's body remained perfectly still and controlled as it loomed over me, but his fiery eyes said everything: He was livid. He despised me. He wanted me to die. My entire world seemed to be shriveling to nothing under his shadow.

He exhaled slowly, his tone laced with malice as he finally spoke. "I'm appalled you disobeyed me. _Again_. Apparently, you need to be _educated_  as to what happens to those who do not heed my words."

That word --  _educated_ \-- seemed to fill the air with a sickening cruelty.

 _Oh god, oh god, oh god!_  The prayer drenched my thoughts as hysteria began to consume me. _No! No! Goddamn it! I was so close! No! No!_

The room felt like it was tilting and shifting before me, and the rational part of my brain could barely comprehend what was happening.

Suddenly a thought flashed through my panic. _Wait! The police are still coming, aren't they?_

I latched on to that tiny glimmer of hope, even as my mind raced around the fact that there was no way out of this situation. Reiji had practically _invited_  the police to come. And he had me solidly paralyzed. How could I tell the police anything like this? _How?_

And what else could Reiji do? All this time I had been trying to escape, but I knew almost nothing of the vampires' abilities. The realization suddenly made me ache all over.

My nerves throbbed violently when Reiji abruptly reached up and grabbed my frozen hand with his gloved one. Another sudden ringing rushed through my ears and the muscles in my legs twitched. Reiji roughly pulled me and somehow my feet lurched forward on their own.

 _How is he doing this?!_  I cried inside.

It seemed so grievously unfair. The vampires had inhuman strength and speed. They had immortality. . . and now, some kind of magic or mind control too?

I inwardly strained and grunted, trying desperately to move my legs by myself. But whatever he had done completely condemned my own control over my own body.

Reiji forced me to a cot and my ears rang again as he coerced me to lay down flat on my back. Only my eyes moved of their own free will. They shifted, and met Reiji's ruthless red-eyed stare as he towered beside the small bed.

"We from the Sakamaki Family are the rulers of this world. Did you really think _you_  could oppose us?" He spoke with gritted teeth and narrowed eyes, but never losing his composed, fake-polite tone, a tone that said underneath his words: "You are nothing compared to me. You are the lesser species. And I _own_  you."

His words, spoken and unspoken, seemed to whirl around me, swallowing me. I felt more powerless than ever and the weight of it strangled me. My panic was quickly turning into despair and I couldn't stop the sudden gush of tears.

_No. . . no. . . why? Why is this happening to me?_

Reiji arched a brow, and a taut smile briefly dressed his lips. In spite of his fury, he seemed to enjoy my anguish.

"I'm going to find the nurse." He chuckled darkly in his throat as he added, "Don't move."

My frightened eyes followed him out the door. I struggled to lift my head but it was a token response, a futile gesture. What ever he had done to me, I knew I couldn't break out of it. I gave up trying and blinked through my tears at the ceiling, listening to my heart pound in my ears.

The fluorescent light above me flickered rhythmically, as if it was counting off the final minutes of my life. Or maybe it was mocking me, laughing at my hopeless attempts at escape.

Hope. I was feverishly clinging to the last few threads of hope I had, and they were slipping through my fingers one by one. As terrified as I was of Reiji, I was more afraid of losing that hope. I used it to force myself to grasp straws: _Maybe the police will recognize me and believe me even if I can't talk. Maybe they'll take my fingerprints. Maybe they'll call my mother to identify me. Maybe. . ._  But I couldn't come up with any plausible maybes.

My thoughts turned to what Reiji had said. _Rulers? What does he mean? How much is there that I don't know? And why me? Why do they want me so bad? It can't be just because I have an endless blood supply. Why?_

_And will I possibly get out of all this?_

That seemed the most difficult question. And the most hopeless. But it was the last thread I couldn't let go of. I would never see Akio again if I did. And that was far more unbearable than anything.

Reiji soon returned with the nurse tailing close behind. A small, balding man with glasses and a long white coat, the nurse had his hands nervously folded against his chest.

"I only left f-for a minute, that's all," the nurse jabbered anxiously.

Reiji walked over to me, pushing his glasses up his nose and then turning back to the nurse. "I will not notify my father as long as _you_ tell the police exactly what I tell you."

I couldn't see Reiji's face, but the nurse was clearly cowering under his glare.

 _So he intimidates everyone_ , I thought dolefully.

When Reiji spoke again, his voice was solid and concise. "She hit her head when she intervened in a fight. Because she resembles the woman that's been all over the news, she woke up confused and she hallucinated. She is sleeping now and we will have our personal doctor see to her at our estate. The police are free to review her previous school records to confirm that she is our cousin."

_They have fake school records for me?_

_Of course they would. . ._

"Is that all understood?" Reiji gave the nurse a pointed stare.

The small man had nodded vigorously during the whole explanation, never looking at me even once. "Yes, yes. I understand," he said, far too quickly.

When Reiji turned back to me, his eyes seemed to sharpen, growing even colder. "This has all been quite troublesome, _Kimiko._ "

He bit out my birth name like it left a horrible taste in his mouth. Fear raked across my body in the knowledge that he would not allow me to escape this unharmed. I swallowed thickly and closed my eyes. I couldn't look at his hard, deadly features for even another second.

A ringing played through my ears again, and I found my eyelids wouldn't open back up.

 _That's fine with me_ , I thought tearfully. I didn't want to see the police walking in, asking questions I physically couldn't answer. And I couldn't bear to watch them walk away without me.

But Reiji hadn't blocked my ears. When the investigator came -- and they only sent one -- I could still hear him discuss the situation with Reiji and the nurse. The vampire sounded polite and poised, the very image of what a politician's son should be. The respect and adoration the investigator had for Reiji and his father was obvious. I even felt the understanding and sympathy in the investigator's voice as he bought Reiji's story.

_Of course he'd buy it. Why wouldn't he?_

A part of me wanted to at least _try_  to scream and shout. But I didn't. The growing hopelessness in me knew it was useless to even attempt to resist Reiji's power. I just lay still, soaking it all in but not really absorbing it. The day's events seemed to have taken all the fight and defiance left in me. And maybe even more.

I despondently listened as the investigator walked over to me, commenting on how much younger I looked than the missing mother, how I _obviously_ wasn't her, but that he could see the resemblance. I couldn't even find it within me to react to that.

The more they talked, the more I sunk into myself.

Soon the investigator thanked Reiji and the nurse for their time and gave his well wishes for me. As his footsteps resounded down the hall, it seemed as if he were taking the last of my hope with him.

I heard Reiji approach the cot. The now familiar ringing swelled in my ears as he controlled my body. My eyelids fluttered open and my gaze reluctantly met his.

"Are you ready to go home and _rest_  from your injury?" His crimson eyes glinted with a dangerous spark. The intense anger was gone, replaced with something far more concerning: anticipation.

Though defeat and near hopelessness flowed through me, that didn't stop the fear from shooting through my chest.

"I assume you've rested enough in here that you can walk to the limousine on your own," Reiji said knowingly, raising an eyebrow above his glasses.

I understood the hidden meaning behind those words: He didn't need to control me anymore. I wordlessly nodded my head, discovering that I was able to move my body once again.

Yes, I understood quite well that there was nothing I could do, nowhere I could run, no one who could help me.

The small sliver of hope that I was barely clinging to, faintly whispered to me in the back of my mind: _There will be other days and other opportunities. Don't give up._

As close to broken as I felt, I knew I couldn't let go of that. I had to be strong enough to endure until those other opportunities came.

The problem was I didn't know if I _could_ endure much more.

Reiji steered me out of the infirmary and to the front entrance. I felt like a person pushed downstream by drowning rapids. Only I couldn't swim. Nor scream for help.

Numbly, I climbed into the limo waiting at the curb. I assumed the other vampires were staying at school for the remainder of the night, since only Reiji joined me in the expansive vehicle. Even though it was just the two of us, Reiji's stifling presence made the space feel just as crowded and suffocating as if all the brothers were there.

He sat directly across from me, a sinister smile tugging at his lips. I suspected he chose that seat purposely to intimidate me.

And it worked.

I nervously clasped my hands to keep them from shaking, beads of sweat breaking out on my forehead and the back of my neck. A headlight from another car caught in Reiji's glasses, which reflected slivers of color, like a prism. The contrast of such beauty against the background of his brutal eyes reminded me of the vampires themselves: both beautiful and terrifying.

As the limo pulled out of the parking lot, I kept my gaze trained on my lap even as Reiji began to speak to me. "Honestly. Do you know how much class time I had to miss today because of _you_?" 

In spite of the fear coursing through me, some small rebellious part of my brain surprised me by thinking, _I don't care how much stupid class time you missed. You're the one who ruined everything for me._

"Our father said you would be troublesome. Yet, I never imagined it would be to this extent." I could practically hear his eyes narrowing at me. "And I _despise_ having to utilize my compulsion," he said stiffly, and I assumed he was referring to his control over my body. "You should simply obey. However, you seem to lack the intelligence to do so. . . But you will learn."

I winced, as if his words and the sound of his voice pained me. In a way they did. My heart seemed like it was splitting open in my chest.

"Now do you understand that you cannot escape? There is nothing you can do against our power. You are _nothing_  against us."

I still didn't gratify him with a response, my vision blurring as I watched my knuckles turn white against my black skirt. 

"It seems you are so frightened that you have been struck speechless," Reiji snickered in his throat. "Splendid." His uniform rustled against the leather seats as he sat forward, his elbows on his knees. "You shall grow to fear me more."

I drew a shaky breath and turned my head from his line of vision, attempting to put some distance between us, however small. He chuckled and I heard him sit back.

Neither of us spoke for the remainder of the ride, but Reiji's voice still reverberated around me. The vicious warning he had given me earlier in that very limo seemed to flood through the silent car: " _I will throw you in the dungeon and whip you until the flesh peels from your skin and you wish for death_." I suppressed the urge to press my hands over my ears, as if that could shut out his voice in my mind.

That was where he was taking me now. To punish me for calling the police. I closed my eyes, trying to quell the cold terror crawling along my skin. I was beginning to wonder how long I could maintain my composure against the cruel vampire.

 _I am strong, I can handle whatever happens,_  I told myself again and again, unconvincingly.

But if I didn't say those words in my mind, I was certain hysterics would take over and I'd be on my knees begging and pleading the arrogant vampire not to hurt me. Despite the fear and despair ravaging my mind and body, my resolve to keep my dignity seemed to be intact -- however fragile it might be.

The limo turned onto the property all too soon, yet somehow still seemed to take hours. The gate ominously lurched open and I sniffed back a sob that threatened to come bursting out.

I tensed as Reiji gave a terse chuckle, breaking the long silence. "Are you _that_  afraid?"

I shouldn't have looked at him, but my eyes seemed to move of their own accord. Seeing my face must have given me away.

"Good. You should be," he grinned widely.

I tore my gaze from him as quickly as I had turned it. The dark haired vampire's almost giddy expression made me sick.

The next thing I knew, the car had stopped in front of the house and the chauffeur was opening the door. Reiji stepped out of the vehicle as I fought to steady my breathing, palming the fabric of my skirt. It seemed as if my entire body was vibrating, and I wasn't sure I would be able to control it enough to move. But Reiji's voice was authoritarian and commanding, instructing me to join him. I swallowed my heart as it beat in my throat, and willed myself out of the limo.

My jaw clenched tighter and tighter as he took me through the darkened mansion and down a long spiral staircase. The further the descent went, the more adrenaline started to rush through my body. And I suddenly found it nearly impossible to resist my body's natural flight response as we entered a familiar, dark stone hallway. My nerves positively screamed for me to run. But the logical part of my brain told me it was useless and would only cause me more harm.

Trembling, I walked with my hand steadied against the dank wall, my fingers tracing the ancient crevices. I paused, shivering in the cold underground walkway. Pressing a shaky hand to my chest, I tried to calm my breathing.

I closed my eyes for a moment and forced myself to picture Akio in my mind. I had been pushing the thought of him away because it hurt too much to think of him. But now, I let the memories flood through me. I needed them to give me courage and strength, to remind me that I could live through anything for him. I imagined his chubby face always smeared with dirt, his hair always sticking straight up, the way his arms always reached for me. . .

"I did not give you permission to stop."

Reiji's steel voice slashed through the vision of my son. It was as if I had been taken from Akio all over again, and suddenly a fierce, almost painful hatred began to wash over me.

And I eagerly grabbed onto it.

I snapped my eyes open, facing Reiji's red glare without flinching. I took a few strides toward him, and I could almost feel the blue in my eyes darkening as loathing filled me.

Reiji smirked, unconcerned about the sudden change in my demeanor, before turning to resume his pace down the hall. I fell in behind him, the muscles in my jaw twitching with fury as I stared at the back of the vampire.

As we passed several rows of bars anchored in the stone, I could feel all the anger and frustration at my failed escape attempts searing through me -- and aiming at Reiji. He represented everything that had kept me from getting back to my child. The huge pool of my grief and sorrow and guilt and fear at losing Akio forever now focused on this monster before me. His stiff, formal posture, his violet hair swaying as he walked, the sound of his purposeful, confident footsteps -- all of it poured an intense anger through me that I hungrily let smother my fear and feed my courage.

When Reiji stopped in front of a cell and opened the door, I should have been terrified. The vampire in front of me epitomized every horrifying nightmare conjured in my mind. And I knew how eager he was to hurt me. But all the emotions I felt that night -- fear, panic, despair, hopelessness, even joy and relief at finding the phone -- condensed into one thing: rage. And I couldn't feel anything else.

It was so strong that I nearly shoved him when he flashed his fangs in a cruel grin and waved me through the cell door. But I straightened my shoulders, resisting the urge. Facing him squarely, my gaze unwavering, I stepped resolutely through the opening, sliding past his tall, slender frame.

I stopped just inside the cell, inhaling the musty, old scent of the dungeon. A few torches had been lit in the hall, but their light barely filtered through the bars, and I couldn't see very well. Reiji clanged the metal door shut and skirted around me. I watched him set a flame on the wall.

In the light, this room appeared to be much wider and more cavernous than the one in which Subaru had chained me. Two tables lined the wall, but they were not filled with unrecognizable torture tools. Instead, various whips in different sizes and shapes lay evenly ordered in rows.

Reiji sauntered to the tables and carefully removed his white glove, pulling each finger without so much as making a wrinkle. He shrugged his uniform blazer off in the same manner, folding it neatly on the table in front of him, slowly, as if he was savoring the process. 

Something dark and sinister seemed to swirl around him as he turned to face me, taking his time rolling up his sleeves, loosening his tie, as he began to walk toward me.

"As you can see, I do not make idle threats." He fixed me with a stare that was as hard and cold as the stone surrounding us. "You will understand what happens to those who defy me."

Reiji stopped in front of me, looming so close that I could feel the pulsing chill that eminated from his body.

"Choose one," he said bluntly, pointing towards the table.

Unblinking, I folded my arms across my chest to keep my hands from shaking. Fear was trying to work its way back into my veins, but I clenched my fists and held it back. I was _not_ going to let the anger go, not when it was making me brave, not when it seemed as if it was the last thing I had to hold on to.

Seething wrath burned in my eyes as I willfully stared up Reiji. He carefully studied me, his mouth pressed tightly in a thin line, his gaze narrowed dangerously behind his glasses.

But I didn't flinch when he suddenly grabbed my face, his strong fingers clasping my chin until it hurt. 

"If you don't choose, I will use the one that will be the most painful," he said matter-of-factly, before a twisted smile took his lips, turning his expression deadly. "I daresay that will be more enjoyable for me."

My dry mouth opened as I spoke to him for the first time since calling the police. My voice was eerily calm, surprising even myself. 

"Do whatever it is you're going to do." 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea of compulsion comes from Reiji and Kanato's routes (I don't really know what else to call it, so that's my name for it, borrowed from The Vampire Diaries). In Reiji's route, he was able to force Yui to drink a poison, and Kanato completely froze her body in his route. (I can't remember if any of the others used this ability).


	14. Discipline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri faces Reiji's punishment. *Trigger warning for extreme violence*

* * *

 

 

I couldn't feel the cold of the dungeon anymore as the heat of anger swam through me. I couldn't even feel the cold of Reiji's fingers as he gripped my jaw. All I could feel was the air charging with a mutual hatred between him and I.

Perhaps it wasn't wise to defy his demand to choose one. But defiance was the only sort of power I had against these monsters and I wasn't going to let them take it from me this time. Not while it gave me the courage to face him, to hold his heartless, leering gaze while his body twitched with suppressed violence.

Reiji's eyes narrowed into crimson slits as I glared back, and his cruel smile slowly faded.

Then with a suddenness that took my breath away, he released my face and seized my arm so harshly I cried out in pain.

"You will regret your rebellious attitude." His voice dropped to a low hiss as he jerked me across the cell.

Several feet from the far wall, almost in the center of the room, Reiji halted and reached towards the ceiling. Squinting, I realized what he was grabbing. The dim light of the dungeon had hidden a pair of manacles hanging high in the air.

A mass of fear rose in my chest as he pulled a shackle down. The rough sound of metal clanking hit me with a rush of adrenaline, and I yanked my arm in his grasp.

"No! You are not putting me in those!" I growled.

_There's no way I'm letting them chain me down here again!_

In that moment I seemed to forget that I was fighting against an inhuman creature. And it didn't occur to me that it was illogical to fight against being chained, but not being whipped. Or perhaps I didn't realize I was fighting against both as I clawed at the fingers squeezing my arm.

"No!" I screeched, wrenching furiously backward.

Reiji abruptly dropped the chain and grabbed both my upper arms, thrusting his face into mine. "You do not tell me _no_! Ever! Tonight you will learn to obey me, without question! You _will_ submit!"

His voice crescendoed to a yell as his usually controlled temper began to rise to the surface. The sound bounced off the cold stone walls, sending jolts of even more fear through me -- which only made me angrier. I was sick of the fear, sick of being trapped, sick of being away from my son.

"Fuck you!" I spat in his face, with a voice so altered by rage that I couldn't believe it came from me.

A crack across my cheek suddenly knocked me to the floor.

My body slammed into the hard stone underneath me with a thud so brutal it vibrated through my bones.

Shocked and dazed from the blow, I groaned softly as I forced my eyes to open. I blinked heavily in the low light, my vision dark and hazy. The room seemed to whirl around me in a blurred circle as I slowly sat up, my hand cupping the pain on the side of my face.

 _He. . . hit me?_  

I couldn't have said why, but that surprised me. Of all the things the vampires had done and had threatened to do, hitting me had never been one of them. It seemed almost out of place -- like such a _human_  thing to do. 

I looked up at Reiji in stunned silence. Long strands of my hair had fallen over my eyes, but I clearly saw him glowering at me as if I were as small and loathesome as an insect. And as easily crushed.

"We have never had a bride this obnoxiously disobedient." Reiji grimaced, his eyes flashing dangerously. 

Instinct took over as he stepped toward me, and I scrambled backwards on the stone floor. But he reached me in two quick strides and sharply dragged me to my feet, his hands fisting in my blazer collar.

"That is why we obtain the brides while they are still _young_." He spat the words as if he were talking about dogs, not human beings. Though, maybe to him they were one and the same.

"How well did that work out? I haven't seen any other 'brides' here," I snapped back, glad that his backhand across my face hadn't taken my courage. 

But Reiji smirked in a way that made my skin crawl.

"None of them have survived," he said bluntly, his smile spreading thicker as my eyes widened.

He jerked me closer to him. "Humans like you who don't listen are better off dead," he ground out.

His fists twisted, ripping the jacket off my shoulders. 

"What are you doing?" I gasped, my heart lurching in my ribcage.

Reiji ignored the question and tossed the blazer to the floor.

"It does not matter to me if you die here or not," he sneered, snatching off the ribbons from my neck that he'd helped me tie after his brothers had attacked earlier that evening.

A new kind of fear washed over me as the ribbons fell to the floor.  _Oh god, he's not planning to strip me naked, is he?_  

My eyes began watering at the terrifying thought.

But, to my relief, Reiji did not remove any more clothing. Instead, he turned, tugging me forcefully by the arm, so hard that I stumbled and part of my sleeve tore, my blouse untucking from the skirt. I caught myself from falling, gritting my teeth as I tried to angle myself out of Reiji's iron grasp.

"The truth is, I would very much like to kill you myself," Reiji scowled, his tone merciless, like the steel on the chain he was once again reaching for.

This time he was ready for me to fight back. He secured the thick manacle on my wrist before I was even aware of it touching my skin. My stomach clenched at the sickening sound of it restraining me.

"However, that would be a problem," the vampire continued, as if maintaining a normal conversation. "Since our father has ordered us not to kill you."

My arm hung loosely in the air above me, with enough slack that I could bend my elbow. I swayed off-balance, almost swinging from the chain as I furiously attempted to yank my free arm away from him.

Rage overrode caution as I hurled more angry curses at him. My cheek still throbbed from his fist, but for the moment, he seemed to be overlooking my swearing as he reached for my flailing limb.

"Or rather, he said we can _not_  kill you," Reiji carried on, as he grabbed my other wrist with ease. "That does have a different meaning."

Raising my arm, he firmly tugged the second shackle around it with a gut-wrenching _click_.

I let out an anguished, frustrated cry.

_Goddamn it!_

I was chained. Again.

I wanted to scream. But I locked my jaw and held it in, my nostrils flaring in fury.

Reiji stood back with his hand on his chin and admired his accomplishment. The torch reflected dancing flames in his glasses, making it seem as if his red eyes were on fire.

He stood silently for a long moment, and I scowled at his satisfied grin, my lips curling in disgust. Repulsed by his expression, I turned my gaze upwards, shaking my hair out of my face and peering up at my arms dangling lifelessly over my shoulders.

 _At least these cuffs are newer and won't cut my wrists,_ I thought sarcastically, trying not to think about the condition the rest of my body might be in by the end of the night. My wrists should have been the least of my concerns.

The sound of footsteps snapped my attention back to the tall vampire, and the reality of what was happening flooded over me.

Reiji thoughtfully stood by the tables, carefully replacing the white glove on his right hand as he studied his appalling collection. I bit down hard on my lower lip as he slowly picked up a large coiled whip.

Stepping toward me, he unwrapped the thick, black leather, the color even more dark and sinister against his bright, gloved fingers. 

I closed my eyes briefly, trying to ward off the fear rippling up my spine.

 _I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine,_ I repeated in my head.

I forced myself to remember the last two years, the way the illness had progressively ravaged my body with pain every time I moved. 

_Not to mention I went through an excruciating childbirth. . . I'll be fine. . . I can handle pain._

But watching the cruel vampire's expression fluctuate somewhere between hatred for me and exhilaration at what he was about to do. . .

 _No! Don't let the fear in!_  

My insides twisted with sickening rage at the fear trying to overtake me, the chains rattling as I angrily pulled my wrists in the metal.

Reiji chuckled, the sound muffled behind his close-lipped smirk. "You know, with previous brides I had to restrain myself so as not to kill them. Well, I might have gotten carried away with a few of them. However, with you. . ." He caressed the whip, his fingertips gliding over the tautly braided material as he threw me a cold smile over his fangs. "With you, I don't have to hold back."

My eyes widened in alarm.

 _No! He's just trying to scare you, don't let him!_  My jaw grinded hard, as if what mattered more than anything in the world was denying my fear.

"Do you know why I don't have to restrain myself with you?" Reiji asked, gently flicking the whip out in front of him and taking a step back, the long tail of leather snaking out on the floor.

"I know why," I breathed through my gritted teeth. "Because of whatever your sick fuck of a father did to me."

Before I could blink, the white glove holding the whip rose and came down to the floor with a deafening crack.

_Jesus fucking Christ!_

My entire body stiffened at the sound -- a sound so frightening it seemed as if it had penetrated every cell in my body. It careened off the stone walls, as loud as a shotgun, and my ears rang painfully from the remnants of the brutal, horrifying strike. 

_Oh god! That can't possibly hit me!_

I held my breath, trying desperately to salvage my composure. But choking, blinding terror was clawing its way through. And I couldn't stop it.

" _You_ should respect my father," the red-eyed vampire snarled, his features darkening. " _You_ are the only bride who successfully received the gift of immortality.  _You._ A disobedient, worthless human."

Though I had guessed it to be true -- my own unending lifespan -- hearing Reiji confirm it in the aftermath of that bloodcurdling whip crack seemed to make the air in the already cold dungeon drop twenty degrees. I shivered violently. The cold seeped all the way into my soul as the terrifying realization fully hit me: He could torture me as long as he wanted. Eternally, if he so desired.

I gaped at him in horror.

"Do you know the reason a whip is so painful?" Reiji asked, smiling widely as he held out the end of the lash through his fingers. "It's because the tip moves extremely fast. Faster than the speed of sound actually, creating that sonic boom you just heard. . . and causing the skin to tear completely off the flesh."

_Shit! Christ, no, no, no. . . I can't! I can't do this!_

I trembled, clenching my eyes shut as I used all my weight to yank my arms, battling the chains that imprisoned me. The shackles bit into my wrists as I cried out in anguish, desperately trying to squeeze my hands out, to no avail.

I heard the hateful vampire take a step forward and my eyes flew open. I froze, my chest rapidly rising and falling in full-blown panic.

Reiji brushed his arm out in front of him, holding the whip out. "Now that you are a part of this family, you must learn _discipline."_

My legs shook beneath me.  _I'll be fine I'll be fine I'll be fine,_  I repeated like a mantra in my mind, knowing no other way to brave the all-consuming fear.

Reiji seemed to be breathing in that fear, standing perfectly calm for a long while. The seconds ticked by, as if he were purposefully stretching the silence and stillness to take my terror to the limit.

Then I heard it before I felt it.

The horrendous crack pierced the air violently. I wasn't even sure he'd struck me until I became aware of a gutteral scream leaving my mouth. The bolt of pain sheared right through me. My face twisted in agony, my body jerking reflexively under the punishing blow, my knees buckling beneath the torn flesh.

"This is what happens when a dog doesn't listen to its master," Reiji taunted over my scream.

Barely even recognizing that he spoke, my body contorted, my lungs gasping as I struggled to regain my footing. I grabbed ahold of the chains, pulling myself up with jarring, ragged breaths. I trembled under my own weight as I dared to look down at the injury.

The whip had slashed like a wide-bladed knife across both of my thighs, just below the skirt. Tears fell from my eyes as I watched blood flow from the scorching wounds. It felt as if fire had sawed straight through my bones. I had never felt such horrific pain in all my life.

"God. . .  _damn_  you," I breathed out through clenched teeth, in a way that might have been a wish or a prayer.

Without warning, the sadistic vampire lashed out again, slicing what sounded like a firecracker down my arm.

A vicious shudder wracked my body as the heavy leather ripped through both my sleeve and my skin. A liquid warmth quickly spread out on the white fabric.

This time I screamed it. "God DAMN you!"

The curse had hardly shot out of my mouth when he struck a third time, splitting open my black knee high stockings and tearing the skin off my shin bones.

The white hot, blinding pain rocketed through me, making my eyes swim with stars. My nails dug into the flesh of my palms as I hung by my wrists, unable to stand.

 _Fuck! Christ! Jesus fucking Christ!_  

Through the disorienting pain, my only thoughts were wild curses. Even emotions went blank as the blaze soared over every other feeling.

"Are you finished yet?" Reiji asked, his tone as cold as ice. "A poised lady does not swear."

My eyes focused and blurred, swelling with tears and swirls of black spots. Sweat plastered my hair around my neck and face in wet clumps, and I shivered, chills spiking through me. I blinked as the walls of the dungeon began to undulate and then come close.

Through the roaring in my ears, I hadn't heard Reiji approach. He stopped in front of me, only inches away, and I swayed as my body hung before him.

"You are royalty now, after all -- in a manner of speaking," Reiji arched a brow above his glasses and paused, as if waiting for me to respond.

His words didn't register through the pulsating, mind-numbing pain. I could only stare up at him angrily as my seared flesh pushed a sudden flood of primal rage through my veins.

"Answer my question," he commanded as he began to walk behind me, folding his hands behind his back, the whip held between them. "Are you done?"

If I had been able to think clearly, maybe I could have seen the irony: I had never been a person who cursed much, until meeting these monsters. But the pain and the fear had brought all the anger to the surface and now my mouth replied before I could stop it.

"Fuck you," I gasped out in one quick breath.

From behind me, I didn't see Reiji cast his arm out with an effortless stroke, driving the thundering lash across my back.

Every muscle went rigid as the shredding of skin sent out a raw, bloodcurdling wail from my throat. The sound merged with the echo of the whip to create one long wordless scream of pain and fear and rage.

When I fell silent, I felt cold arms snake below the wound and hold me up. The vampire stood in front of me now, pulling me into his chest.

I thought I might vomit. Not just from the strangling, grisly pain, but from the abhorrent feeling of that bastard  _touching_  me. I wanted to shriek and kick and curse. Instead, the floor seemed to cringe beneath my feet, and I leaned into him, my muscles too weak and injured to stand. My treacherous body eagerly pressed against him, desperate for the support.

I could feel myself shaking against his cold form, as if I'd been electrocuted. My rapidly beating heart was not supplying enough oxygen and my chest retched, trying to take in air.

But as Reiji stood completely still and unmoving for a long while, just holding me, I felt the anger begin to bleed out of me. The only sensations became him and the unrelenting pain.

Confusion made its way into the jagged, mostly blank thoughts in mind: _What. . . is he. . . doing?_

I discovered the answer when he finally shifted his weight, and Reiji buried his face into the crook of my neck, inhaling the scent of my pulse deep into his lungs.

I understood then. He was attempting to control his thirst as the temptation of my blood saturated the dungeon with its metallic odor.

_Why. . . does he. . . resist. . . feeding? A form of. . . self-control. . .?_

Tremors surged through my body and, as I stirred in his arms, his hand inadvertently raked over the slash on my back. A tormented yelp escaped my mouth and darkness thickened in the corners of my vision. I could barely hear my own voice, and it seemed as if I were literally going blind and deaf from the pain.

But Reiji didn't move, nor did he bite.

 _Do it!_  I found myself suddenly thinking -- achingly pleading.

_Just. . . please. . . do it!_

I tasted salty tears pouring down my face as I realized I _wanted_  him to sink his fangs into me. I _wanted_  him to feed -- to take the gut-wrenching pain away, to relieve the agony streaking through my body.

And I _hated_ myself for it.

I cried out in despair as Reiji released me and stood back, apparently successful in testing his self-control.

 _No!_  

A sob erupted from my chest as my feet sank beneath me, and I watched him walk away, leaving me to suffer.

Muffled groans gathered in my throat as I clawed at the chains, trying again to pull myself up. But it was a futile act that only further tore open the gash on my back and arm, extending the pain beyond all reason.

"Pl..ease. . .," the word caught in my throat.

 _Please. . . come back,_  I tried to say, but couldn't.

I wept freely, and as my small frame hung wretchedly from the manacles, Reiji's voice somehow found its way to my ears.

"You, of all people, should know the importance of proper discipline and behavior, yes?" Reiji rhetorically cleared his throat, the heinous whip slithering beside him as he began to pace.

Whether I avoided his gaze purposely or not, I didn't know. But my eyes were glued to the surprisingly clean floor, as if mesmerized by the increasing blurriness of my tears and the spinning of the room.

"Since you are. . . a _parent_."

But the significance of his words drew my gaze to his.

Reiji knew, that much was obvious since he'd talked to the officer. Maybe they all knew, as reports of my disappearance were apparently wide-spread. But none of them mentioned it and I assumed they didn't care.

Why would they?

I seemed to be nothing but a toy to them -- a blood bag, their food, their _prey_. They didn't care about my thoughts, my feelings or anything else about me.

Why would they care if I was a mother, too?

"It doesn't matter to me, of course," Reiji said, confirming my suspicions, at least about him. "But it does lend a certain. . . _understanding_. . . as to what I am attempting to do here." He paused in his pacing and turned to face me. "Does it not?"

His dark eyebrows rose up in question as he swished the whip nonchalantly around his feet with practiced ease and agility. I ignored his question, suddenly wondering how many girls he had subjected to this horrifying cruelty. The drenching pain was screaming through me, and I couldn't imagine a young, teenage girl enduring this kind of torture.

The thought made me glare up at him with renewed hatred.

Running his fingertips along the weave of the leather tail, Reiji asked, "Would you not punish your child for disobeying you?" 

The question made me sick. _H_ _ow dare he use Akio to justify this torture!_

I sucked in a deep breath through my nose and released it through clenched teeth as I attempted to stand. Clutching tightly to the chains, I planted my feet on the floor, crying out as I pushed myself up. I coughed and shuddered, the pain forcing the air out of my lungs in sharp gasps.

Reiji paused, his eyes almost twinkling as he watched me struggle to stay on my feet. My legs shook under me and I knew I wouldn't be able to stand for long as the blood and pain drained from my skin, taking my strength with it.

But before I could gather enough of my wits to defend my son, Reiji fixed me with a rigid smile that twisted my stomach into a knot.

"Punishment is an effective tool for learning. And that brings us to the reason we are here." He fluttered the whip out in front of him, taking the same stance as when he'd first struck me. "What have _you_ learned, Kimiko?" His face darkened, his voice dropping despite the smile. "You won't try to escape again. Will you?"

I froze in fear, unable to answer. _He can't hit me with that again. . . He can't. . . I can't. . . I can't survive it. . ._

I didn't seem to remember that Reiji had confirmed Karlheinz's "gift". In that moment I couldn't fathom how anyone could withstand another blow from that dreadful _thing_ and still live.

But he proved me wrong when I failed to answer his question.

The whip struck out like a venomous cobra, laying a line of blistering fire on the agonizingly sensitive skin from my collarbone to my earlobe.

My vision turned black, and then white. The torch oscillated on the wall, turning into two, three, then four flames, and back to one. Perhaps it even swirled upside down, or maybe it didn't. I couldn't tell.

Why did I feel like I was on fire? Was it the torch burning me? Who was screaming from far away? Were those screams coming from me?

Then the world fell into focus and I felt my body convulsing and writhing uncontrollably. Gasping, my lungs threatened to burst against my ribs.

Strong, cold arms came around my waist followed by the towering vampire slowly forming in my vision. Through the seething pain, I became aware of something pressed against the freshly ripped skin on my neck.

Hope dared to wash over me.

_Is he. . . finally. . . giving in?_

But crushing anguish cut through my hope as Reiji dropped my body, the shackles roughly catching me.

No euphoria took over.

The white hot fire still blazed, streaming through every blood vessel and along every nerve.

 _Please!. . ._   _Please. . . drink. . . from me!_ I tried to beg, to my own disgust.

I could think of only one thing: desperately needing the pain to stop, desperately needing _him_ to make it stop. 

But my dry, raw throat couldn't form any words. 

"Your blood really is quite. . .  _exquisite_. . . I do admit." I heard Reiji remark over the drumming in my ears.

_What?. . . But. . . he didn't. . ._

I somehow found it within me to lift my head toward his voice. His ungloved hand was bringing an ochoko away from his lips, but instead of sake, the small porcelain cup held the red liquid that was pouring from my body.

 _No!. . . He knows!. . ._  My body shook as I sobbed. _H_ _e knows. . . his bite. . . kills the pain. . ._

I realized his cruelty knew no bounds, that he intended for me to suffer as much as possible.

I stared up glassy-eyed through my tears, unable to comprehend how anyone or any _thing_  could be _this_  cruel. Then I allowed my eyelids to slip slowly down, my consciousness ebbing. I felt sure I was dying. How could anyone feel like this and still be alive?

And I almost welcomed it. I could just. . . give up. . . and be free of this horrific pain.

"You appear as though you have resigned yourself," the vile monster observed as he set the cup on the table. His tone was lighter, perhaps refreshed from my blood. But in my fading consciousness his voice seemed a hundred miles away.

"Have you already lost the strength to endure? Most girls last a bit longer. Though, to be fair, I have never used this particular whip on a human." His footsteps came closer, but my body hurt too much to react. " _This_  whip I had specially made for shearing _vampire_  skin. I wasn't even sure a human could withstand it." He halted and leaned in close to my ear. "But, as impressed as I am with your strength. . . I have yet to be satisfied. As you have yet to answer my question. Or perhaps, that is your intent? You want me to make you suffer even more?"

The chains rattled as I quivered in horror. My eyes unwittingly found the strength to meet his. Too paralyzed with pain to speak, my gaze pleaded in my stead, saying the words I couldn't. _"Please stop!. . . Don't. . . I can't. . . please. . . just. . . please. . . stop. . ."_

But even my eyes couldn't answer the question he had asked. I could never agree that I wouldn't try to escape again. Despite the unending pain, the thought of never seeing my child again hurt so much more.

Reiji seemed to sense the rejection in my answer.

My body pulsed with terror as he moved towards the center of the room. "I shall ask you one more time then." His voice hardened. "Will you attempt to flee again?"

My stomach churned inside out, my eyes dropping to the floor, flooding with tears. My lips trembled as I tried to unravel words from my tongue. But I couldn't. Even if I could get my mouth to speak, I could never promise that.

And in that moment, to my great and utter relief, I didn't have to.

A voice -- a familiar yet bone-chilling voice I hadn't heard since the Tuesday that changed my life -- reverberated through the room.

"That's enough, son. She will not attempt to escape again."

With every grain of effort I had left within me, I forced my eyes upward. Across the room, I took in the image of Shuu standing outside the cell bars. Beside him stood the golden-eyed vampire who had spoken: their father, Karlheinz.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O_O
> 
> I think, after writing this, I have discovered that I am sadist too lol
> 
> Also, I forgot to mention last time, I will be writing the long version of this story, so my sadism will be around for a while :P
> 
> And I did use a few direct quotes from Reiji in this chapter but I don't remember where I found them. If anyone recognizes where they came from please let me know lol
> 
> *******
> 
> And as a side note, this chapter illustrates my reasoning for making Sayuri older than other brides. I debated on having her be a young mother around 21 or 22, so that more people in this fandom could relate to her. But then I realized her immortality wouldn't be obvious either, since many 22 year olds can easily look 17. So I settled on 35. It's much older than typical brides, obviously, but still far younger than the brothers. I hope her age doesn't make her any less relatable.


	15. A Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karlheinz is unhappy with Sayuri calling the police.

 

 

The musty air in the dungeon seemed to shift and become heavy with his sudden presence. And if not for his voice and his eyes, I would not have even recognized him. To my bewilderment, Karlheinz's physical appearance had changed considerably. 

"Father?" Reiji half-turned from me, his body going rigid with tension. Even through the shrieking pain and my fading consciousness, I couldn’t help but register the shocked expression on his face. When his eyes fell on Shuu, his lips flattened into a thin line of anger and loathing. But then he seemed to rein in his emotions, just staring at them both in silence.

Karlheinz's white hair, now long in place of Tougo Sakamaki's short, businesslike cut, swayed softly as he turned to his blue-eyed son. "Thank you, Shuu. You may leave us."

Keeping my eyes open took most of my strength, strength that I used to meet Shuu's gaze before he walked out of view. His features were unreadable, unlike mine. My face betrayed everything: the pain, the fear, the tears. . . and the surprise -- and even gratitude -- at their sudden appearance. But Shuu blinked back at me with seeming indifference before his figure disappeared down the underground walkway.

My eyes strained to follow back to Karlheinz. Elegantly dressed in attire that could have been from the Renaissance era, he proceeded to open the cell door and approach his dark-haired son. 

In a flat, neutral tone, he said, "Thank you for punishing her for her behavior this evening, Reiji."

I drew in a sharp breath, horrified. I had thought Karlheinz was perhaps here to help me, but now a new fear swept over me as I wondered if the opposite were true.

 _God. . . I can't. . . handle. . . any_ _more. . ._

Reiji bowed his head at his father's words.

"Yes, Father. . . I do not know how much _Shuu_ relayed to you," he began, with a distasteful emphasis on his brother's name. "But she called the police."

Karlheinz's stony gaze drilled into me. "Yes, I am aware."

He remained thoughtfully still for a moment before approaching me. My heart rammed furiously in my chest, increasing the pain along every nerve ending.

The towering vampire stood before me, his face drawn back in a hardened expression, his eyes shining like golden steel in the torch light. He lifted my chin, and I cried out, the movement stinging the lash on my neck. But his fingertips were cold on my skin, momentarily soothing the pain.

 _Please_ , I begged with my eyes, still too weak and terrified to speak. _Please. . . don't hurt. . . me. . . anymore._ My body shuddered as it hung from the shackles, searing pain wracking through the bleeding wounds.

"And you do not think she's learned her lesson, Reiji?" Karlheinz asked his son, in a way that made an icy wave surge through my entire body.

_No more!. . . Don't!. . . Please!_

I sensed, rather than saw, Reiji shake his head. "No, Father. I do not. There is no submission in her eyes."

My stomach twisted, the begging in my expression becoming frantic. _Please! Stop!. . . You can't keep. . . doing this to me!. . . Please!_

"Yes. . ." Karlheinz said slowly, gripping my face, studying me. I felt as if I would be swallowed whole by his ominous stare. "Yes, I agree."

_Oh god!. . . No!_

An ache grew in my throat, a coarse sob rising from my chest.

The tears poured down my cheeks, but Karlheinz just stood there, unmoving, examining me intently. I waited, terrified for what would happen next.

The longer he paused, the faster my breathing became and the harder it was to stay conscious. There was an unbearable alternation of heat and cold as I shivered and then sweat, almost as if my body was trying to offset the sensation of pain. It made a flash of darkness cover my vision and I closed my eyes, longing to give in to it.

But Karlheinz's voice wrenched me back to awareness when he spoke at last, the tone of his voice unchanged. "Reiji, relieve her suffering."

My heart lept, my eyes flipping open in surprise. 

"F-Father?" Reiji stuttered questioningly. "I do not understand. She has yet to--".

He stopped mid-sentence as Karlheinz turned to him. Reiji's face revealed that he had overstepped his bounds.

"Yes, sir," he said instead, as if he'd been slapped.

Seeing Reiji, of all people, intimidated by his father only increased my own fear of the vampire.

Reiji's footsteps echoed over my pulse thumping in my ears as he stepped towards me. My fear of him didn't recede as he advanced, despite the anticipation that he would relieve this horrific pain. I doubted I would ever _not_  feel fear in Reiji's presence again.

Karlheinz moved aside, letting his son take his place before me. I couldn't bring myself to look up at Reiji as his arms folded around my waist and lifted me up, my eyes shutting tight in response to his touch. Just a little while ago I'd been repulsed when he'd held me like this, testing his self-control. Now I felt repulsed at _myself_ for wanting this, needing this.

The chains rattled as my arms slackened and my elbows bent, giving my wrists relief. But it wasn't enough. I needed relief for the rest of my body. 

 _Hurry! Please!_  I begged in my mind, glad I couldn't speak. I didn't want to hear my own voice pleading.

I held my breath as Reiji swiped the sweaty, sticky hair off my throat. Tremors of pain rippled through my body as he leaned into my neck, his hair brushing my cheek. Tears of anticipation, of relief, spilled behind my closed eyelids. I should have been empty of tears, but they kept flowing. It didn't seem possible that one person could have so many different kinds of tears in such a short amount of time. Fear, anger, despair, pain, relief. All of it had streamed down my face in the span of one evening.

But my heart halted in my chest when Reiji pulled back without biting. I whimpered in surprise and nearly opened my eyes, until I sensed his face hovering over mine. I bit my lip and held them shut, unable to bear looking at his hateful red glare.

Pulling my head back, his strong fingers knotted in my matted hair. "Open your eyes," Reiji demanded, an arrogant smirk in his voice. "I want to see them beg me for it."

I grit my teeth as he let out a soft chuckle. How much more torment could he possibly give me?

_He already knows I've pleaded for him to stop, for him to take this blinding pain away. Why must he make me do it again?_

I swallowed painfully and reluctantly grasped at my strength, forcing my eyes open. My blood raced with fear as I took in his face so nauseatingly close to my own. His sharp features looked even more harsh, and my lips quivered when his fangs peeked behind his cruel smile.

 _Please_ , I implored with my eyes, for what seemed like the hundredth time.  _Please. . . just bite me. . . and end the pain. . . please._  

Disgust and humiliation flooded through me. I hated myself for needing him so badly. I wanted to be stronger. I wanted to withstand the pain. I wanted to be able to spit in his face and curse him. But all the anger and rage had bled out of me, replaced by this white hot pain that wouldn't stop. And now I looked desperately to the one who had caused it, to take it away.

Reiji's grin broadened, a dark joy sickeningly spreading across his face. "Good girl," he said, as if to further my humiliation. "I will give you your reward."

A hushed cry escaped me as he bent my head to the side, sinking his fangs deep into my veins. The pain of the bite couldn't even compare to the pain of the whip, but somehow it still hurt. 

Chills ran through me as Reiji breathed heavily into my neck, pulling me in tighter to his body as he drank.

A mix of pleasure and heat seemed to glide over and between us. My eyelids fluttered closed, allowing the sensations to swarm me. I released a muffled groan of relief as finally -- _finally_ \-- the pain started to dissipate. My muscles slowly relaxed and the shuddering ceased. I felt myself going limp, the tension leaving my body as I melted into him.

For the first time since I'd been bitten by a vampire, I realized this bite was a shared experience. He wasn't just taking what he wanted from my unwilling body, he was giving me something I wanted in return, something I hungrily needed.

And I suddenly felt as if I might be sick as it occurred to me how utterly _grateful_ I was to him. As much as I wanted to hate him, how much I _knew_  I should absolutely despise him, the anger and hatred were just simply. . . gone. I realized that if not for the chains, I might have even wrapped my arms around him as I eagerly accepted the euphoria.

 _What the hell is wrong with me?_ I chastised myself as I leaned my forehead on his shoulder.

A hint of something else washed over me when Reiji pulled back once he'd had his fill.

 _Sadness_?

I blinked up at him, surveying his stunning features. And in that moment I couldn't help wondering. . .  _What happened to him that makes him find such enjoyment in cruelly torturing someone weaker than him?_

Reiji narrowed his eyes, almost as if he was searching me for something, as if he sensed the question behind my gaze. 

But then he appeared to give it little thought. He gradually released me and stepped back.

My wrists hung from the shackles, my body still far too weak to stand. But the cuffs didn't hurt. 

 _Nothing_ hurt.

In fact, I strove not to let my head sag and fall asleep. The warm intoxication running through my veins comforted me so greatly that I could have been snug in a soft bed, not chained in a dungeon.

Firmly squeezing my eyes shut and opening them wide again, I forced myself to stay awake, forced my eyes to stay focused on the two imposing vampires in the cell.

Karlheinz was placing a hand on Reiji's shoulder and saying something in his ear that I couldn't hear. Reiji nodded before turning and approaching the barred metal door. The sound of the bolt clanking open reared off the stone walls. Reiji ran his pale fingers through his dark hair as he calmly strode out of sight without even glancing in my direction. 

Karlheinz's eyes then rounded on me, eyes that seemed to be filled with nothing but darkness.

He stood quietly for a long while, his gaze caging me in fear, trapping me moreso than the chains. Even my lungs seemed restrained, as they struggled to breathe in his presence. I had so many questions, so much I _needed_ to know. But just like the night he kidnapped me, my mouth was unable to move, as if his expression alone commanded me into silence.

He took a deep breath before he finally spoke, his eyes roving contemplatively over my body. "You haven't fainted yet, even with all the blood loss. You've made considerable progress already, much faster than I expected," he paused, folding his hands in front of him. "Though I suspect my sons have had something to do with that."

Perhaps my mind was whirling nonsensically with the intoxication, muddling my comprehension. His words only served to confuse me, and I breathed out roughly, trying to concentrate and focus.

His face set into grim lines as he quieted again, fixing me with a harsh stare for far too long. I swallowed hard, and despite the heat rolling through me, I shivered.

"Do you understand the gravity of your actions today, Kimiko?" he finally said.

I heard the threat behind his tone, and it made my heart plummet to the bottom of my stomach.

 _Oh god, does he plan to "punish" me further?_ I bit my lip, shaking all over.  _Haven't they done enough? How much more do they think I can possibly take?_

But he continued, not seeming to expect an answer. "Calling the police could have put me in a very bad position. I'm quite fortunate Reiji was able to clean up the mess."

My eyes sunk to the floor. The "mess" was my failure to get away, and every bone in my body ached with that knowledge, hurting more than any whip could.

"I underestimated the effect your life away from the church would have," he said.

I looked up at him in shock. My brain really was muddled after all. _What the hell is he saying?_

The impact of his words finally allowed me to find my voice. "The. . . church?" My throat, parched and sore from screaming, made the words come out in a strangled croak.

Karlheinz clasped his hands behind his back, his eyes examining mine with silent intensity. He seemed to be weighing how much information to give me, if any at all.

At last, he cleared his throat and started pacing, his long maroon cloak lightly dragging the floor behind him. "Yes, the church raises the potential brides to be docile and submissive so that when they come here, they are easy to control. They are kept naive so as not to defy us."

I stifled a cry of revulsion, struggling to prevent the sudden rise of nausea welling up inside me. _He raises girls like lambs for slaughter?_

Unaffected by the expression of disgust on my face, he continued, "And, as my experimental orphans, they had nowhere to go when I sent them to my sons. They were well-trained and wouldn't dare try to escape." His voice lowered darkly as he approached me, putting my nerves even more on edge. "But you aren't like them. There are many things I underestimated about you."

My pulse quickened as he stopped in front of me. His cold fingertips traced my jaw and pulled it upwards, his eyes boring into me. "You are my one-of-a-kind. My only true success."

I responded with a defiant jerk of my chin, repulsed by his words and his touch. "What exactly. . . did you do to me?!" I rasped out, turning my head from him.

"I made you," he replied softly, as if that was some sort of an answer. 

I grit my teeth in frustration, feeling the skin painlessly pull at the gash on my neck as I focused my gaze on the torch flames, refusing to look at this monster that had stolen my life from me.

But my eyes shot back to his in alarm at his next words.

"And that is why I will not lose you again."

I swallowed hard, sensing a hidden meaning that I didn't understand -- and I wasn't sure I wanted to.

"I underestimated a human mother's love," he said slowly, carefully, the darkness in his voice crawling over my skin. "As vampires, we don't carry the same bonds of love that humans do. So I admit, I misjudged the lengths you would go to return to your child."

At the mention of Akio my heart started to pound with nauseating force. My teeth bit down hard on my bottom lip, drawing blood. My hands, bloody from my nails digging into my palms, gripped the chains and began to pull my heavy body up. My legs trembled and shook with exhaustion, but somehow I found the strength to stand and face him.

"You prove my point. I allude to your child, even for a moment, and look at you." A tiny hint of something unreadable crossed his features. "Humans truly are fascinating."

I inhaled a long breath, steadying myself under the chains -- and against the emotions beginning to fester inside me. Bringing up Akio made every muscle in my body tense.

The tall vampire shifted his weight, and a shadow seemed to fall across his face, giving an expression that raised the hair on my neck.

"But, the love you possess for that child is troublesome and something must be done about that."

He reached inside his jacket, and my heart shuddered and almost stopped.

He held out a picture of my mother, with her careworn face, and Akio, happy and oblivious beside her.

Acid tears burned the back of my throat at the sight of them. It seemed like years had passed since I'd seen them, so long that it seemed almost as if they had never existed at all and were just a figment of my imagination. They seemed too unreal now, too unreacheable to even possibly be real.

But the cold look in Karlheinz's eyes told me they were indeed very real. And in very real danger.

"Please. . . please. . . don't hurt them," I pleaded, my lips quivering, the tears and fear thick in my voice.

"Your 'mother' has taken the child back to Germany," he said, his tone hardening as he pulled the photo close to his chest. "She thinks the hunters and the witches will protect him there."

My mouth fell open, his words jarring me.

 _Mom left the country?? To protect Akio??_  I blinked at the floor, trying to absorb this information. _She. . . she knows about all this??_

Then my eyes flung back to Karlheinz as I digested the rest of his words. _Hunters?? Witches??_

My mouth continued to hang open, too stunned to speak. I tried unsuccessfully to make my mind work, to make sense of his explanation.

"But what she doesn't know," he said as he flipped the picture around and examined the image himself. "Is that two years ago, I killed the witch who developed the protective spell that hid you from me all this time." His gaze flicked back to mine. "And there isn't another aside from me who can cast it."

My mind struggled to grasp the meaning of his words. "I don't understand," I gasped out, my voice ripe with growing panic. 

He tucked the photograph back into his jacket, his voice carrying an unapologetic edge as he spoke. "Your child cannot be hidden from me the way you were, and it is clear that he is the reason you are repeatedly trying to escape despite the _severity_ of your punishments." He nodded to the wounds littered over my body. "It's apparent that you will not be deterred. So. . . I will bring your child here, to you. So that you have no reason to leave."

His words lanced through me with such painful force that my knees gave out underneath me.

"No!" I cried. "No, you can't! You can't bring my son here!" 

Suddenly, I was sickened by a barrage of horrifying images that shoved their way to the front of my mind: Karlheinz kidnapping Akio the way he'd captured me; Akio’s terror as he watched the vampires attacking me; the vampires attacking Akio himself.

“No! You can't do this!” I practically growled, shaking my head, banishing the terrible images from my mind. 

"I _can_ do this. And I will, make no mistake. Today you've had but a miniscule taste of what this family is capable of, the power we wield. But you do not yet understand the full extent. Your child cannot be protected. Not from me.”

The room seemed to rotate, and I felt as if I might faint from the conviction I saw in his eyes. He was right; I didn't know anything about this world or what kind of power these vampires held. I knew at least what Reiji could do, the mind control, the authority he seemed to exert over employees at the school. And from what little I knew of Tougo Sakamaki, he probably owned half the government in Japan. 

My body nearly collapsed with that realization, with the knowledge that their power went far beyond my understanding. 

_Oh god. . . no. This can't be happening!_

“I was willing to leave your child alone. My interest was with you and you alone." Karlheinz paused and stepped closer, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. "However, after giving it some thought, I'd be quite curious to see how your blood was passed down to a _human_ offspring. He would make for interesting study."

 _No!_  
  
"No, please!. . . I'm begging you. . . don't bring him here!" My words fragmented and caught in between my tears. "I'll do anything you want. . . please. . . please. . . just leave him alone!"

The vampire stood so close to me that I could feel the cold of his body temperature even through his thick clothing. His stare only seemed to make him colder, and the iciness permeated all the way to my bones. I couldn't bear the thought of him putting his hands on my child, terrifying my baby boy the way he’d terrified me. I couldn't let him do that, I couldn't let _any_ of them do that.

“Please! Please just leave him alone! I'll do anything, just don't touch him!” 

The vampire appeared to be considering my despair, steadily holding me in his gaze without blinking for what seemed like an eternity. I shivered as my desperate pleading fell to a crushed whimper, turning into a simple repeat of just one word: "Please!"

He extended a frigid hand to my face, and a sudden, horrid realization swept over me as I read his features. All at once, the confinement of the dungeon, of the chains, of the vampire's invasive presence -- all of it suddenly began to suffocate me. The air itself seemed to bend and constrict, air that I knew would bring words to my ears that I could not bear to hear.  
  
"Alright. I will grant your desire," he said slowly, cupping my cheek. "I will not harm your human child--"  
  
I gulped painfully, fear tearing violently through my veins at what I knew he would want in return.  
  
"--as long as you vow to remain in my family, with my sons. . . and never leave."  
  
All the breath left me as if he had punched me in the stomach. His words spun around me, coiling me, choking the very life out of me. His touch on my skin suddenly seemed to burn and I wrenched my head away, struggling to breathe as white stars began to fill my vision.  
  
_I'll never see Akio again if I promise that!_  
  
The cell whirled around me as a pain far more brutal than Reiji's whip slashed through my chest.  
  
_This can't be happening! Not this!_

I gripped hard onto the chains, vehemently attempting to remain conscious. The deep cuts all over my body pulled when I moved, and I could feel a soft trickle on my skin as blood still oozed. I urgently felt for my strength to stand, trembling as I tried to cope with his words.

_No! I could still find a way to get word to my mother! Find some way out! I can't stay here!_

"Kimiko." Both of Karlheinz's hands grasped my face, his harsh features darkening as he seemed to read my frantic thoughts. “I have eyes everywhere. Do not underestimate me. If I sense for even a moment that you’ll betray me, your child will not be safe. Do you understand, Kimiko?"

The certainty in his voice rolled off of him, vibrating into me with a force so powerful that it knocked the rest of the air from my lungs. Every inch of his stare said that he meant it: He would hurt Akio. If I so much as tried to reach out to my family, tried looking for help, he'd harm my little boy.

I felt suddenly as if I were disconnecting from everything. The blood, the chains, the dungeon, the vampire forcing me to make a horrible decision. All of it seemed to blur and fade away, my body almost convulsing as my lungs struggled to take in oxygen.  
  
_This isn't happening.  
_  
I heard Karlheinz call out my birth name and the sound of it seemed to come at me from another dimension, or another lifetime. His hands were pressing on my face, but I barely felt their icy grip. My mind was shutting down, incapable of comprehending a life where I couldn't escape this house. A life with _vampires_. A life without my son.

_No!_

“You need to promise me, Kimiko.” The jarring command in Karlheinz's tone brought me back to reality, pulling me into his terrible eyes that were hard with expectation.  
  
I clutched at the chains, the metal digging into my bloody palms, my body shuddering under me. 

"Why?" I choked. "Why are you doing this? Why me?"

His expression remained sharp, emotionless, but there was a subtle shift, something almost imperceptible that tightened his features. "You belong to me. You belong with my sons."

A silent scream lodged in my throat.  _No! No! I don't belong here!_ I wanted to shake my head, to shake his hands off my face, to shove his entire presence, and everything he'd done, far away from me. _I belong with my own son! Not here with you monsters!_

Instead, I gathered what breath I could and somehow pushed a different set of words from my mouth. "You. . . you promise. . . to leave my son alone?" I stuttered through the hollow ache bursting in my chest. "You won't. . . hurt him? You won't. . . bring him here? You'll. . . leave him be?"  
  
His thumbs caressed my cheeks, his fingertips resting coolly at my hairline. "You have my word," he said firmly.  
  
I closed my eyes, pushing out a river a tears. From the moment he was born, I always knew I would do anything to keep Akio safe, no matter what it cost me. Even sacrifice myself. That was always a mother's most noble cause, wasn't it? But I always thought it would be quick and painless, like throwing myself in front of a train or a bullet. I never imagined such a sacrifice could mean the prolonged horror that it would mean for me.

I bit my bleeding, trembling lower lip as I opened my eyes, staring deeply into Karlheinz's as he held my gaze, waiting. The sudden choice lay before me, its weight bearing down on me. But, really, it wasn't a choice at all.  
  
"Then. . . I won't. . . I won't. . . leave," I strained, my throat closing as I struggled to speak the awful words. "I vow. . . to. . . to stay."  
  
"Good. Then we have an agreement."

Karlheinz's cruel lips curled into the slightest tinge of a smile as a darkness began to envelope me. He leaned forward, kissing the top of my head in an almost ironically fatherly fashion before turning to leave the cell, as if he had expected my answer and there was nothing further to discuss.

But I didn't hear him leave. A strangled voice cried out as he walked away, a voice so gut-wrenchingly devoid of hope, that I couldn't have recognized it as my own.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to let you guys know I'm going through a tough time. My grandmother is in the hospital and they don't give her long to live. This might affect how often I update. So far, writing is actually helping me through this. However, I am not sure if the quality of my writing will be up to par. Hopefully you all will still enjoy it. I know I say this a lot, but thanks again for all the comments and kudos. I'm really flattered by all the support and encouragement. Thank you <3.
> 
> ************************
> 
> Note: As far as I know, canon has not elaborated on how the brides are raised. I headcanon that they are raised to be docile and submissive but I do not believe that is ever mentioned in the series.


	16. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri grieves for her son, facing the choice she had to make. One of the brothers surprises her with his behavior.

* * *

 

 

I wept into the empty dungeon for an endless span of time.

The heavy, aching loss had taken over all my senses. The very air I breathed turned into the pain of the choice I made, entering my heaving lungs and carrying it to every cell in my body.

Horrible, choking sounds echoed all around me, sounds that couldn't even be described as human, sounds of infinite suffering. I was unravelling, my soul shattering in a way that was far more agonizing than anything I had ever experienced. I felt as if the most important piece of me had been torn off and all that was left in its place was a hollow, burning ache worse than any pain imaginable. I would have even welcomed Reiji's punishment; enduring his torment was nothing compared to the lifelong agony of losing my child.  

But somehow, a voice in the back of my mind eventually broke through my tears.

_At least he's still alive. He's with his grandmother and he'll live a happy, carefree, human life, loved and safe._

It slowly became louder, working its way over the suffocating grief that was strangling my will to live.

There were times I despised that voice. It was always there, telling me I would make it through whatever life threw at me. For once in my life I wanted that voice to disappear, to let me wallow in anguish, to finally allow the despair to fully consume me.

But, as much as I wanted to ignore that voice, I knew it spoke the truth: Akio would be safe, and that was all that mattered.

That knowledge alone was the only thing that saved me from going over the great edge that I now stood beside, as I was dangerously close to falling into delirium.

That voice was the only thing keeping me from breaking.

And somewhere within me, I realized I was actually happy. 

 _Happy_.

Because of me, because of _my_ choice, Akio would be protected.

I knew Karlheinz had manipulated me into the agreement, but it still gave me one tiny fragment of control in a situation where I had none.

And it was the most important control I could have. I may not have had power over what happened to me, but Karlheinz had given me the power over Akio's fate.

I began to relish in that knowledge, letting it wash over me, giving me an odd sense of peace amidst the crushing grief and sorrow. I sucked in a deep breath, my nerves calming as the peace settled over me. The pain of losing my son was still there, a sharp throbbing in my chest. And I knew it would always be there. But as long as I was responsible for Akio's safety, the pain would be bearable somehow.

Soon my head started to lull against my numb arms. My eyes drifted down, and I fell asleep without quite realizing it, my body giving in to the intoxication, the blood loss, the exhaustion.

It seemed as if I had only just closed my eyes when I flickered back to a hazy consciousness, vaguely aware that pain was once again emerging from the gashes on my body. I whimpered for a moment, and then quieted as I sensed another presence.

Through the long, black tunnels in my vision, I saw two dark shapes opening the cell door and entering the room. They were speaking, and I clutched to my consciousness, feebly straining to make out their voices in the thick air.

"Shit. Look at her. Why the fuck did Reiji have to go so far?"

Whose voice was that? It sounded as if it were coming at me from underwater.

"Because you left her alone, asshole. What did you think she was gonna do? Damn. . . this ruins my plans. . ."

Liquid seemed to fill my ears, drowning out any recognition of the voices.

"Shut up! She's not my responsibility at school. Where the fuck were you? Hah?!" That time the voice was raised, and closing in on me, carrying the sound more clearly.

It was Subaru.

Had he come to release me like last time? I could feel my body relaxing at that thought.

The voices continued, but the sounds were lost in the darkness closing in around me. I shut my eyes. I was sinking, my consciousness flowing out of me again.

But a sharp snap of metal and the blissful release of my arms nearly pulled my mind back to awareness.

Cold hands gripped each side of me as I wavered, my knees too weak to stand, my eyelids too heavy to open. 

"Piss off, she's coming with me."

The voice holding my uninjured arm jerked me close and my heart faltered. His voice was almost in my ear now and it was unmistakable.

 _Ayato_.

His sudden movement caused Subaru's hands to brush the wound on my other arm. I cried out as the pain of it seared through me. 

"I thought you said your 'plans' were ruined. Hand her over," Subaru said, a curt edge creeping into his tone.

"No way, she's _my_ prey!" Ayato snarled. "Let go!"

"Fine. Tch. Whatever," Subaru begrudgingly conceded, his fingers slipping off my injured arm.

My stomach twisted and turned into a knot.  _No! Don't let Ayato take me!_

But I couldn't break through the swallowing weakness in my body to call out to Subaru.

The underwater world seemed to spin and swirl as I felt Ayato propel me into his arms and carry me. The lash on my back tore with the motion and I screamed a hoarse, pained scream. I felt myself sinking deeper into the whirlpool of frigid darkness.

With no other choice, I leaned my head into the vampire's chest and gave in to it, letting the black ocean surround me.

 

* * *

 

I couldn't have said how much time passed before shards of biting pain broke through my consciousness, waking me to near full lucidity.

My eyelids fluttered open, my vision blurred and teary. Was I crying? I felt as if I had cried more in the past week than I had in all my life.

I blinked the tears away, trying to focus. Slowly, a room began to take shape around me. A white ceiling hung far above, but looked grey in the dim light. I concentrated on it, trying to steady my breathing despite the aches quickly expanding in intensity across my body.

The ceiling began to spin and I winced, nausea lurching in my stomach. Disorientation clouded my mind as I swallowed back the sickness.

Where was I? Why wasn't I in the dungeon? I couldn't recall, and my memory retaliated against me as I tried to remember.

And then all at once it came flooding back to me.

 _Ayato_.

I gasped and tried to sit up. The motion of my head made the room accelerate around me and I dropped back down.

"Ah!" I cried as the back of my head landed on cold, hard metal.

"You shouldn't sit up," a distinct nasal voice echoed in my ears.

My eyes shot in the direction of the sound.

Ayato stood at my feet, just outside the metal contraption he'd had me in once before. The sight of the vampire brought back the image of him strangling me in the storage room after Laito's attack -- and his threat to rape me.

Ayato lifted his legs, climbing in.

Fear soared through me. "No!" I screeched, jolting backwards in panic.

But the pain of the gashes didn't let me get far. I screamed as they brutally tore open.

"I told you not to do that!" Ayato snarled, crawling beside me to straighten my body back down.

"Don't touch me!" I rasped out, my scratchy, dry throat a harsh whisper.

"Tch. Just lay down," he said with an obvious warning in his tone.

The effects of Reiji's bite had clearly worn off and every movement hurt more than the last. I hissed through clenched teeth as Ayato positioned me on my back. But he was surprisingly gentle, careful not to touch the wounds.

But it didnt matter. The more I moved, the more it hurt. The shrieking pain was ballooning, overriding everything else. A strained sob rose in my chest and without thinking, shocking words burst out with it.

"Please. . . drink my blood!" I gasped.

My hand flew to my mouth, horrified and disgusted with myself. But that was it: I was at my limit. Even the very act of talking was painful. No matter how strong I wanted to be, no matter how frightened I was of what he might do to me, I simply couldn't handle any more. All I could picture was the blissful relief Reiji had given me. 

"Please," I implored, flinching at the sound of my pathetic voice as the dignity drained out of me. "It. . . helps. . . the pain. I can't. . . take. . . any more." 

Ayato blinked at me, his snake-like eyes wide as I lifted my arm in the air, extending my bruised and battered wrist to him.

He was kneeling by my thighs, his expression growing keen with curiosity. "Pain killing. That's a new one," he smiled.

 _So that effect is unusual?_   _Something else Karlheinz did to me?_

"Though I'm not sure I like that," Ayato said darkly, his grin turning predatory.

With a quickness that halted my heart, he flung a leg over my waist and straddled my hips. The metal rumbled with his movement, vibrating through me and increasing the sensation of pain.

He snatched my wrist, and I winced, both scared and anxious for him to bite.

"You owe me," Ayato said with a glint in his eyes, flashing his fangs as he brought them down on the vein pulsing under my skin. He ground his teeth down with unrestrained ferocity, growling low in his throat as he pierced my flesh.

I bit my lip, hissing silently at the sting of that pain adding to the rest. Swallowing hard, I also tried not to think about what I'd "owe" him in return for this. At that moment, I didn't care.

I grit my jaw as Ayato's fangs burrowed deeper into my wrist. His eyes were closed now, and both of his hands pushed my arm into his mouth. He looked as if he wanted very much to devour me alive, moaning in ecstasy, completely giving himself over to the taste of my blood.

I knew I should have been repulsed by what I was letting him do to me, but my mind and body were such a torturous mess that I was simply at the end of my resolve. I just laid there, waiting for nothing but the pain to disintegrate, studying the vampire as he drank.

His straight red hair fell over his eyes, messy and unkempt, but still handsome. Beautiful even. He wore his casual clothes neater than his school uniform. The white t-shirt hung low under his black sweater jacket, accented with a pair of jeans and bare feet. His clothes clung to his athletic body in a way that would have been attractive, had he not sorely frightened me. I had been so consumed by fear and desperation to get back home that I hadn't really noticed the finer details of the vampires' beauty. The fear was typically so immense it overshadowed anything else about them.

Ayato must have sensed me watching him. His yellow-green eyes inched open and locked with mine. He stared into me intently as his sucking slowed, which unnerved me to such an extent that I wrenched my gaze away. I couldn't believe that other humans didn't notice the strangeness of his unnatural eyes. I supposed people see what they want to see until forced to see the truth, and maybe not even then.

My gaze descended on a small shaft of sunlight falling through a narrow crack in the curtains. Was it morning? Afternoon? Would I ever gain back my sense of time in this house?

I breathed in deeply as the pain started to ease and my muscles began to relax. My eyes circled back to Ayato as he took a final sip and freed his fangs from my wrist. He lowered my arm, settling my hand softly on my stomach.

"Thank you," I whispered faintly, my voice fading away in shame.

_How could I be grateful for that, for asking him to drink my blood? I should be stronger... I should be able to endure the pain..._

Ayato tossed me a mischievous grin and leaned forward, taking my breath away as his face neared mine. "You can thank me later," he chuckled.

With a tense gulp, my eyes crumpled shut. I breathed in the cold solidity of him, feeling so small and fragile beneath him.

The metal rocked and I heard the sound of Ayato's clothes rustling as he moved. Tentatively unfolding my eyelids, I found him crawling backwards towards my feet. He perched on his heels as he bent my right leg. In one sudden motion, he ripped my stocking off.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I rose up on my elbows and kicked out at him, but my limbs felt like they were moving through a tub of thick fluid. I couldn't manage much of a fight.

Ayato's mouth turned down in a frown. "Hold still," he said, lifting my shin to his lips.

Drawing in a deep breath, I somehow discovered enough strength to yank my leg out of his hands and scoot away from him. My back slumped against the metal siding of the box, my chin thudding on my knees as I brought my legs to my chest, hugging them tightly.

"I told you to stay still!" Ayato growled as he stood, his voice growing more gruff and throaty as he spoke. "I was just trying to heal you! The cuts all over your body are disgusting! Tch! Honestly, your body is too skinny already. Reiji didn't have to go and ruin it further with a shit ton of scars."

I glanced up at him in confusion. He wanted to heal me?

"Well. . . I will heal fine on my own," I said timidly, untrusting of his intentions. I didn't want to be more 'indebted' to him than I already was.

He clenched his fists by his sides, and I ducked my face in my knees. My body tensed, expecting him to grab me and force me do what he wanted. But inwardly I chided myself for not staying still.

 _If I am going to survive here without completely snapping. . . if I want to make things easier on myself here, I have to do what they say,_ I told myself with heavy reluctance.

I bit down on the inside of my lip. The bigger part of me knew that was likely impossible.

_I may have agreed to stay, but I didn't agree to let them do whatever they want to me._

But instead of grabbing me, I heard Ayato climb out of the box. I lifted my head and my eyes followed him across the room. He swiped a small bottle off a shelf and turned back to me, irritation written on his face.

I severed my gaze from him and looked around the room. The entire space was draped in a maroon color scheme: maroon rug, maroon couches, maroon curtains. I twisted my head and examined the metal box. My jaw dropped open as I realized what it was.

An iron maiden -- a huge one, with the spikes removed.

I had seen the medieval torture device once on a high school field trip to a museum. A couple of idiots in my class had tried to close each other in it, getting themselves kicked out of the building in the process.

My eyes spun back to Ayato as he crept back into the contraption with a grin, taking in my surprised expression.

"Do you like my bed? I had it specially-made for me, to fit two people. A high class vampire like Ore-sama isn't satisfied with a normal coffin. Though I should've had it made bigger, don't you think? To fit two or three women?" 

My eyebrows lifted in surprise. Vampires sleeping in coffins was one story book myth I didn't expect to be true. 

Ayato crouched in front of me and handed the tiny bottle out to me. "Here drink this," he smirked.

I eyed the red liquid warily. "What is it?" My throat still felt scratchy, my voice coming out rough.

"It's just a juice. You're thirsty, right?" 

I was indeed very thirsty. But anything from him, particularly from a suspiciously small bottle, had to be bad news.

"No thank you," I gulped out, my mouth suddenly dryer at the sight of liquid.

"Tch. Seriously. You are a pain in the ass prey," Ayato gritted, before a half-smile curled his mouth. "Ah, you must be that type, right? The kind that disobeys on purpose because you want to feel pain?"

"What?" I gaped at him. "No! I just want you to leave me alone!"

"Nah, I don't think so." His voice dropped dangerously. "I think you _want_ me to play with you."

I shook my head, my eyes wide, my voice suddenly stuck in my throat.

_Oh god. . . what is he planning?_

Ayato snatched his hand back, and in one quick swallow, he chugged the entire contents of the bottle himself.

Fear shot up my spine as he suddenly pushed my knees down from my chest and knelt on my legs.

Before I had time to react, he hooked his hand behind my neck and pulled my face to his.

I squirmed under his grasp as he closed his lips over mine. My hands fisted in his jacket, muffled gasps gathering in the back of my throat as I tried to push him off.

 _Let go of me you bastard!_ I wanted to scream.

He knicked my bottom lip with one of his fangs, and although it didn't hurt, my mouth involuntarily opened as I cried out in surprise.

Ayato seized the opportunity and pushed the 'juice' into my mouth, keeping his lips barricaded over mine as I struggled.

I glared at him through open eyes, and his eyes gleamed back, filled with a cockiness that made my stomach turn.

I had no choice but to swallow the liquid, unable to breathe with his face pressed tightly against my nose. It slipped down my parched throat like velvet, the taste sweeter than I expected.

A pleasant, simmering hotness immediately burnt through me, flushing my face and relaxing my muscles, far moreso than a vampire bite.

Ayato pulled back from my lips, and I took a deep breath, shuddering as my entire body went completely limp.

Ayato gave me a fanged smile. "Now, that's better."

"What. . . was. . . that?" I slurred, astonished I could still talk. I hadn't expected that words would be able to leave my mouth.

Ayato snickered as he gently lowered my comatose body into a prone position once more. "Just a potion I stole from Reiji," he laughed. "He was making it for Laito."

_So Ayato just drugs girls instead of using hypnosis or compulsion or whatever the hell it was Reiji used on me?_

Discovering that I was still able to move my head, I watched with dizzy eyes as Ayato situated my legs around him, lifting one of them to his mouth. I shivered as he licked the wound on my shin, the sensation bizarrely tingling up my leg.

I couldn't help but take stock of the rest of my body while he healed my injury. I was covered in sticky, dried blood, streaks of the crimson liquid caked down my thighs to my ankles. My white shirt had turned a splotchy, dark reddish brown, and I could feel my hair spread out around my head in a tangled mess.

 _I would kill for a shower_ , I thought with heavy sarcasm. And part of me wondered if I'd actually be able to take one  _alone_.

Turning my gaze upwards to the ceiling, I realized that I didn't truly want to be alone at the moment. I didn't want to be here with an unpredictable vampire either, but _alone_ meant I'd be with myself and my thoughts.

And my thoughts would only drift to Akio.

My breath caught in my throat. It didn't seem to matter whether I was alone or not. Thoughts of him still found me here. The hollow ache that I had felt earlier in the dungeon throbbed to life once again in my chest. I could feel the achiness, too, in the cradle of my arms, where I wanted my son to be. My vision blurred with tears and became dark, and the room suddenly seemed as if it were made of shadows.

Ayato snapped me out of the darkness as he moved to my other leg, tearing off the knee sock in the same fashion as he had before. The sound was suddenly strangely. . . _erotic_.

I frowned through that abruptly risque thought.  _What the hell?_

My eyes cleared as I blinked down at Ayato and his bright gaze. An abnormal feeling pulsed in my core as he finished healing my shin and crept seductively to the gash on my thighs.

"Feeling the effects yet?" he asked huskily, his mouth curving upward into a satisfied smile, one with a tinge of cruelty, as he lowered his face to the cut.

I rolled my head back, along with my eyes. 

_Perfect. The bastard gave me an aphrodisiac._

I glared resolutely up at the ceiling, my muscles drawn tight as I tried to ignore the drugged sexual tension growing in me.

_How am I going to survive these assholes without losing my mind?_

_The submissive ones literally didn't survive, but my fighting isn't getting me anywhere, either_ , I thought, futility attempting to keep my mind off the fiery heat blazing through my body.

A few moments later, I felt Ayato slide his hands up my thighs, over my skirt and to my waist. My heart thumped loudly as he slunk upwards, his pervasive presence spreading toward my upper body like a poison.

The vampire hovered above me, bracing his arms on either side of my head, caging me with his strong, slender form.

I couldn't stop the frail whimper that seeped through my clenched teeth. His expression had turned almost feral, as if my blood was insatiable to him and he really would devour me alive.

His closeness, the pure animal look in his eyes, made my veins flood with heat. 

_Oh god. . ._

"I know you're feeling as good as I am." Ayato dipped his head to the slash on my neck.

His tongue lathered slowly up the length of the cut, sending shivers down my body. I tugged in a panting breath, deep and sharp, a reaction to his touch that I couldn't help. Closing my eyes, I pursed my lips tight, refusing to acknowledge the forced response my body was having to the damn bloodsucker.

"You heal insanely fast," he breathed, his lips soft and cool against my neck.

It seemed as if I were running a fever, and the cold of his skin felt annoyingly good against the heat of the aphrodisiac.

"I don't like that you heal this fast. I mean, it's good to get rid of these ugly cuts. But my fang marks go away too quick." Ayato hoisted his head up and ran his fingertips along my jaw, turning my neck. "Ah, see? That bite from last night is almost gone. I can barely see it."

I gasped as he sank his fangs into the same bite he and Laito had made the night before.

He let out a gratified moan that set off a resounding pulse within me, sending fire through my loins. I bit down hard on my swollen lip, desperately holding in my own moan. Somehow my previously immobile arms moved on instinct, grabbing onto the vampire's jacket as he sucked at my throat.

_Christ, the effect of this potion. . ._

_But. . . perhaps the effects don't last long, since my arms can move now._

Then it hit me.

_He's sucking it out!_

Ayato pulled back, proudly admiring his fresh bite mark on my neck. "Well, I'll just have to bite there every day so it never heals. That'll be _my_ mark." He bent down to my ear, his voice lowering. "So you always remember who you belong to."

A chill surged through me, along with a sudden thought.

"Wait, don't stop," I breathed, inclining my neck to the side. "Please?"

He practically beamed. "Hehe, I knew you were feeling it, too," he purred. "Hmm. . . I'll grant your desire." Ayato ventured back to the bite, dragging out more blood.

I grit my teeth as the aphrodisiac effects powerfully rushed through my body once more, giving me the sudden, intense urge to pull him tight against my hips, to feel the hardness of his body on mine.

 _Stop it!_ I screamed at myself.

But soon relief began flowing over the arousal. The more he drank, the more the sexual heat began to diminish under my skin. 

"You're blood is really amazing," Ayato exhaled. "No matter how much I drink, I'll never get sick of this taste. . ." His voice sounded thicker. "Ah. . . and the potion makes it sweeter. Hehe. . . I feel so heavy. . ."

He did seem to sink lower, his eyelids hooded and thick.

"Hmm. . . I need to take care of the rest of these irritating cuts." Ayato's eyes lazily roamed my body. "Where's the next one?"

"My arm," I guided him, and he tore off the sleeve, bringing the injury to his mouth.

 _I might as well keep him distracted with this_ , I thought, hoping he would be sleepy soon. 

 _It's daylight. He should be sleepy already_. . .

Pressing my lips together, I also hoped he wasn't planning on following through with his earlier threat: "After school, you're mine."

_Oh god. . . the aphrodisiac!_

I clutched my fists, hoping against all odds that the potion wouldn't affect his larger body as it had my much smaller one.

 _Christ. . ._ I couldn't. . . I couldn't handle it if he decided to force himself on me now.

"The last one is on my back," I said timidly, taking note of his heavy-lidded gaze.

He didn't . . . he didn't seem as if he planned to assault me. 

 _At least not right now. I'm sure he'll collect this "debt" later,_ I thought bitterly.

After I rolled onto my stomach and Ayato worked on cleansing the wound on my back, the tension in my muscles eased as I heard him yawn. 

 _Good, he is tired,_ I thought with relief as he finished healing me.

But then my heart lodged in my throat when I shifted onto my back and tried to sit up.

"Nope, I don't think so," Ayato grinned, shoving me back down.

The iron maiden rumbled and creaked as he brought the heavy double doors down, enclosing us in complete darkness.

_Oh god. . ._

"What are you doing?" My entire body turned cold at the sudden confined space.

Ayato snickered. "You don't think I'm letting you go, do you?"

The air itself seemed to become weighted and oppressive, as if the iron maiden was covering us like a leaden blanket. I shut my eyes tight, gulping down regret as my stomach dropped. Encouraging Ayato to drink the aphrodisiac out of my blood had been a _terrible_ idea.

Even though I couldn't see, my eyes snapped open in surprise as he cuddled in close. Pulling me on my side, he buried his face in the hollow of my neck.

The breath stopped in my lungs and I froze, waiting for his next move as he pressed my body to his, inhaling deeply as he took in my scent.

But minutes passed, and I soon felt the tension leaving his body. His arm around my waist became heavy as he remained still, just breathing against me.

Hesitantly, I allowed myself to breathe as well, letting my guard down bit by bit as Ayato's breathing slowed and he didn't make any further movements.

Remembering that he had held me like this before while he slept, it struck me as odd that a vampire would snuggle with its prey in this manner. 

_Perhaps they don't view this act as intimately as humans?_

Whatever the reason, I was overwhelmingly relieved he wasn't attacking me.

I found I was grateful, too, that he had actually. . . healed me.

Little strands of Ayato's hair began to tickle on my chin, and I carefully reached a hand up to gently smooth them down, diligently trying not to disturb him. I marveled at how soft his hair felt beneath my fingertips, almost like a child's.

_. . . Like Akio's._

Unbidden, my throat closed, tears all at once streaming from my eyes. 

My fingers glided against Ayato's hair again and again, unable to stop myself from slowly stroking the messy strands. . . the way I'd stroked Akio's so many nights as my boy fell asleep in my arms.

_I shouldn't do this!_

If I were going to survive, I needed to push the memories of Akio away, far down into the deep, hidden part of my soul where I shoved all the emotions I didn't want to feel.

_I can't be thinking of Akio here, of all places -- trapped in a torture device with a sadistic vampire!_

But my hand wouldn't stop. It kept going, tenderly threading the hair from Ayato's forehead to behind his ear.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

The vampire's hushed voice suddenly floated through the small space.

I winced at waking him, my fingers freezing mid-stroke.

I should have felt fear; the vampires had explosive and unpredictable tempers. What if he was angry that I woke him? Angry that I was crying?

But something had changed behind his voice, and rather than frightened, I was puzzled by the tone of his question.

"Say anything about what?" I asked uncertainly.

"That you have a kid. That you're a mother," Ayato said quietly.

"I. . . well. . . no one asked," I said tentatively, unsure if my answer would suddenly change his mood. "And it's not like. . . any of you gave me the chance to tell you. . ."

He didn't reply, and I sensed he was bothered by my status as a parent.

"Besides it was on the news. . ." I offered hesitantly.

"Tch. Like I watch the _news_. I don't give a shit about what humans do." Ayato rolled onto his back, his arm sliding off my waist.

Some distant part of me felt the tightness in my chest at the loss of closeness.

"When did you find out?" I asked, my voice wavering, ignoring that disturbing feeling.

I also wondered if I should even be furthering the conversation. No discussions with the vampires had ended well thus far. In fact, I wasn't even sure if they were even  _capable_ of conversing without exploding and attacking. So far I hadn't even witnessed them in a conversation with each other, much less me.

"I found out earlier," Ayato replied, his tone carrying an edge. "Reiji told us _that bastard_  threatened your kid if you tried to leave."

' _That bastard'? That's how he refers to his father?_

He said the term with such a bitter emphasis, unlike Reiji who seemed to respect their father.

"Yes," I said, my own voice hardening at the reminder of the choice Karlheinz had forced me to make. "What Reiji said is true."

"Hmph," Ayato seemed to sneer. "I'm surprised he's letting the bastard kid live."

I gawked, my mouth falling open in horror. "What?" Angrily, I rose up on my elbow, careful not to hit my head, wishing I could see in the darkness. "Don't call my son that! And your father wouldn't do that! He wants _me_ too badly!"

Even as I said the words, I doubted the truth of them.

_Would Karlheinz go against his word?_

Dread churned in my stomach as I realized that I had no idea whether or not I could trust their father.

I began to panic. _How will I know for sure if Akio is safe?!_

The terror rippling through me almost made me miss what Ayato said next.

"Your kid _is_ a bastard. Well not a bastard like _that bastard_. But still a bastard. Our father is the Vampire King, and we are the princes. And since you're our bride, that makes you sort of a princess and therefore your kid. . . Is. A. Bastard."

I suddenly couldn't breathe.

_The Vampire King? Jesus Christ!_

I gasped for air, struggling against the swelling rock in my chest. I rolled onto my back, away from Ayato, as if I could put distance between me and his words. But the words followed me, whirling around me, blocking every other thought. 

 _Oh god. . . The Vampire King. . . Jesus. . . How did I get involved in this? Why me?_ _And how do I make sure Akio will be safe? Is he somehow a threat to their monarchy? Was Karlheinz lying to me?_

I spoke into the restrained air, my voice astonishing me with its steadiness. "How can I meet with your father? I need to speak with him right away."

"Hmm," Ayato murmured, his clothes rustling as he shifted. "I can arrange for you to see him."

His arm glided across my stomach, pulling me to him. Lifting my hips, he turning me to face him. 

I rolled into his cold body, flattening my hands against him. "Please do -- as soon as possible," I urged.

"You're _really_ going to owe me," he chuckled, a low almost sinister sound that shook unpleasantly through me. The insinuation was clear in his tone.

Shutting my eyes, I tried to quell the nausea floating in my abdomen. I would do _whatever_ it took to ensure Akio's safety, no matter what Ayato would want me to "owe" him. I _had_ to talk to Karlheinz, to require proof that he wouldn't hurt Akio.

Ayato yawned and pulled me closer. "But I don't want to talk about all this. It's annoying. Do that thing you were doing with my hair," he ordered through a sleepy sigh.

I blinked into the darkness, my brow lifting in surprise at such a request, at something so innocent compared to the threats he held against me.

Resting my elbow on his shoulder for support, I laced my fingers through his downy hair.

Ayato's breathing almost immediately eased, his body gradually growing heavier against mine once again.

As I lay there, I desperately attempted to calm my fears.

 _Their father underestimated how far I would go for Akio. He wouldn't do that again_ , I reassured myself. _He knows I'll take off at the first hint that anything has happened to him. It's the only leverage he has on me._

Karlheinz had been ominously intent on keeping me here, frightenininly so, insisting I "belonged" to them. It didn't make sense that he would harm my child, when it was clear to him that I wouldn't stop, that even shearing the flesh from my skin wouldn't block me from trying to return to my son. I had seen it in his golden eyes: Karlheinz knew that single threat would keep me firmly in place.

I grit my teeth bitterly, but at the same time, the logic eased my panic. I would ask the Vampire King for proof that he hadn't hurt Akio; I would ask for updates on his safety. As long as Karlheinz kept his word, I'd keep mine.

Ayato's heavy breathing against me soon made my own eyelids draw downwards in sleepiness. The stress and trauma and euphoria were finally pulling at me, tugging my body into a black, consuming weariness.

I remembered thinking, before I drifted off, how oddly childlike Ayato seemed, falling asleep in my arms like this. 

 _His own mother probably never showed him this kind of love and affection,_ I thought sadly as sleep took me.

Somewhere within me, I didn't want to admit how comforting it was to me too, that I could almost pretend I was back home, that it was Akio cradled in my arms, tucked safely against me.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you only familiar with the anime, the aphrodisiac is canon. Both Ayato and Laito are fond of giving it to the heroine. Also, Ayato's healing in this chapter is inspired by the first game. There's a chapter in his route where Yui gets attacked by a bunch of his brothers. He brings her back to his iron maiden and she thinks it's to attack her as well, but instead he disinfects the wounds. 
> 
> (And, side note, their healing ability is something that confuses me. They apparently can heal wounds with their saliva, though they call it "disinfecting", but then again their bite marks don't seem to heal that fast. So I don't know? For my story, the saliva *does* heal, but Sayuri heals much faster from it than ordinary humans.)


	17. Connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri shares another memory with Ayato, one that is very disturbing. *Trigger warning for child sexual abuse*
> 
>  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next one are basically one long chapter I'm breaking into two shorter chapters (so they don't drag, hopefully). I'll be publishing the next one in a couple days after I find time to fix some typos. :-)

* * *

 

 

My eyes snapped open into the dark, my pulse racing.

I stared, barely breathing, at the presence I felt beside me, blood draining from my face, nausea rising in my stomach. Though I couldn't see it, I felt his gaze boring into me, and somehow. . . I knew he had dreamed it too.

The iron maiden clattered loudly as Ayato pushed the heavy doors open and sat up.

Desperate for air, I jumped out too fast and the room swam before me, white noise filling my ears. I fell against the iron maiden, stumbling to my knees. Reeling from the images still swirling in my head, I wiped perspiration from my brow, resting my head in my hand, my elbow on the edge of the metal.

"What is going on?" My voice shook as I tried to absorb the significance of this new "vision".

When Ayato didn't answer, my eyes lifted and met his. The pale, lingering light of dusk fell through the curtains, giving the vampire's hard stare an eerie glow.

"Why don't you tell _me_ what is 'going on'," he said through clenched teeth.

I gaped at him. "I don't know!" I exclaimed, my voice wavering with tears and fear at the memories I had seen. That _we_ had seen.

In an instant he was out of the iron maiden, his cold hand closing around my wrist and jerking me to my feet.

"I don't know!" I repeated, my tone high and thin, my chest constricting painfully in fear.

Ayato was almost shaking, the lines of his body tensing with fury. "I pushed these memories away a long time ago," he growled, his voice low in his throat.

I took a frightened step back, my legs quivering at the anger pulsating off him. But he yanked me forward, his hand snared on my wrist as powerfully as a shackle. 

"These are things I never told anyone, so I could forget them. I took care of that bitch, so I could _forget_ them!" His lips curled down as his grasp on my wrist tightened in rage. "And now you come here and bring it all back!"

"Ayato. . . please. . . I'm so sorry. . . I - I don't know why this is happening," I pleaded. 

He pinned me with a malevolent glare. The childlike Ayato who had fallen asleep in my arms was gone. The Ayato who stood before me now exuded raw, unadulterated anger and it was billowing off him like waves in a storm. I saw everything the memories had brought to the surface: fear, insecurity, vulnerability, shame. All of it was etched across his face, eclipsed by anger -- and targeted at me.

"Please. . . Aya--"

Before I could finish breathing out his name in an attempt to calm him, he grabbed me by the back of the neck and plunged his teeth deep into my neck, into "his" bite mark.

He pressed with such jarring force that my throat closed, trapping my scream in my lungs.The pain tore at me as he savagely dug in deeper, his body burning against me with suppressed emotion. I could feel the rage in his bite, as if he were trying to force me to feel physically what he felt internally. My eyes burst into tears at the pain, both his and mine.

With a guttural snarl, he released me almost as abruptly as he'd bitten me, before any painkilling effects had time to spread through my veins. My body dropped to the floor in a heap, my legs weak under the intensity of the vicious wound.

A wet, warm sensation quickly began to spread down my neck and through my ripped shirt, soaking it, the strong metallic odor turning my stomach. I flung my hand to my throat to staunch the rapid flow, but the sticky liquid poured out through my fingers with terrifying quickness. The bite was shockingly harsh and deep, and horrifically painful. If I had been mortal, I probably would have fallen and died.

As it was, I wrestled to stay conscious. Through blinding tears, my eyes fought to find the furious vampire. The failing light cast the room in shadows, and I could just barely make out Ayato's livid shape stalking to the back of the room. He melted through a doorway, disappearing behind the mahogany as if he were a shadow himself, slamming the door in his wake.

I sat motionless on the floor, trembling in stunned silence, pressing my hand firmly into my neck as my mind replayed a disturbing collage of images. Falling backwards on the floor, I pieced them together, recalling the foul dream that Ayato and I had shared in terrible detail.

It had started out at Akio's sixth birthday party.

My son had chosen to invite two friends over for a sleepover. The three of them had been running around the house like wild hyenas all evening. Reeling from birthday-cake-induced sugar highs, I allowed them to stay up late to tire their energetic little bodies out.

However, my own sickly body had already been well worn down, and I wasn't sure how much longer I could withstand caring for three bustling children without collapsing. Sadao had worked late again, taking another client out to dinner and leaving me to take care of the kids. Not to mention it was Akio's birthday, and he was missing it.

Deciding the children were ready for bed whether they wanted to be or not, I herded them into Akio's bedroom. I sighed to myself as I braced my back with one hand, my head with the other. I could feel my body giving out more and more with every movement.

"Read a story to us, Mommy!" Akio demanded playfully, the other two joining in the request.

I feared I would need a hospital if I didn't get into my own bed soon. But the kids didn't seem likely to fall asleep themselves _without_ a story. I briefly closed my eyes and begged my body, _We can do this, please don't let go now._

"Okay Birthday Boy, go pick out the book you want," I forced out, to sounds of hooting approval.

Gingerly climbing into the bed, I situated myself as comfortably as I could beside three small bodies crammed into a small bed. Akio handed me his favorite book. With weary fingers I opened it and with an even wearier voice, began to read.

As I turned the pages, listening to my own voice fill the room, something suddenly didn't feel right. The corners of my vision turned black, and the room seemed to oscillate. I blinked at the boys, their sleepy faces seeming to flicker along with the light. The room seemed to swirl under me, the blanket turning from blue to maroon.

I assumed my sickness was doing strange things to my body, and I continued to read, feeling the little frame next to me getting heavy with sleep.

When I leaned down to stroke Akio's hair and give him a goodnight kiss, I found a different, older boy laying next to me, his red hair soft under my fingertips. Akio lay at the other end of the bed -- a very different bed -- next to a child with purple hair, a one-eyed teddy bear wrapped in his arms.

I stared at them in confusion as the room once again darkened and swirled. Rubbing my eyes, I looked around and noticed a candle worn almost to the wick on the bedside, its light reflecting an entirely different room.

Another fluttering light stirred in my peripheral vision. My eyes veered toward the source in the doorway, and my lungs caught in my throat.

I watched in mute horror as that same woman from the lake approached the room, with the same glowing green eyes and long lilac hair, the same black and white gown rustling against the floorboards as she walked.

She stopped just outside the threshold, holding a small candelabra. Her lips curled into a dark smile, her arm lifting to beckon at someone in the room. My eyes followed her gaze to Akio, who had awoken at her presence. A swell of fear rose over me as he climbed out of the covers and off the bed.

_No!_

My arms reached out for my son, the desperation to protect him from that horrible monster overwhelming me. But I found my arms were locked at my sides. I screamed at him to stop, to come back to me, but I realized my mouth wouldn't open. My legs too, rebelled against me. An invisible force held me down and I fumbled against it in growing panic. I inwardly went into a frenzy as Akio trailed behind the cruel vampire and disappeared from view.

_Wait._

_Vampire?_

_How did I know she was a vampire?_

Then my awareness caught up with me: _I'm not at home. This isn't Akio's birthday party._

_I'm in another dream, aren't I? Another vision._

The realization tempered my nerves, calming my hysterics -- and piqued my curiosity.

_How is this happening?_

The boy next to me cut through my thoughts as he too clambered out of the room, his red hair falling messily into his eyes. All at once I discovered that I could move. I crawled out of bed, my feet carefully treading around the wooden toys on the floor as I strode after the redheaded boy, and Akio.

Only a few candlelit sconces lit the dark walls, making it difficult to see in the night. But it wasn't hard to locate the older boy creeping stealthily through the shadows of the ornate stone hall.

I regarded the surroundings with interest. It seemed as if we were in a medieval house of some sort, or maybe even a castle. The building felt. . . familiar. . . in some way, though I couldn't say how or why.

I sunk in quietly behind the boy, cautious not to alert him to my presence. He disappeared around a corner and I sped up, not wanting to lose him. I found the redhead standing beside an illuminated archway, his back pressed to the wall just outside the light.

His distinct yellow-green eyes fell on mine, and my heart skipped a beat.

 _No hiding from him now_ , I thought, though a part of me already knew he was somehow aware.

I crept beside the young Ayato and he put a finger to his lips, requesting my silence. I obliged, and we both listened as a woman's voice joined our ears.

"Oh, Richter, not tonight. . . Aren't you needed elsewhere right now?" The woman's voice laughed knowingly.

"It's so difficult to leave you, Cordelia," the man whom I assumed was Richter answered.

"Mm." The apparent sounds of kissing flooded the air. "We'll have time for more of that another time," Cordelia said, her voice dancing with delight.

"I cannot wait until then. You shall not be disappointed. Goodbye, my lovely Cordelia." Richter's voice was teeming with adoration for the vile woman. I caught Ayato scowling as we heard Richter's lips meet Cordelia's in a loud, passionate farewell kiss, one unfit for a child's ears.

It dawned on me then that she was cheating on the brothers' father. . .  _Or was she?_

I knew almost nothing about vampire marriage and relationship roles. The brothers had different mothers all married to the same vampire. And I seemed to be betrothed to six of them. Maybe Cordelia had other husbands? I made a mental note to delve further into these questions whenever I had the chance.

The child-Ayato grabbed my arm and pulled me around a bend, just in time for Richter to walk through the archway. We both peered around the corner and watched his tall form walk away into the darkness. I caught a glimpse of dark green, shoulder-length hair before the night cloaked him from view.

I tip-toed after Ayato as he slunk back to the archway. We heard Cordelia's voice again.

"Come with me, Laito," She said happily, lovingly.

_Laito?_

I listened as a door opened and footsteps sounded. Ayato dared to peek through the archway and I followed his lead.

The opulence of the room nearly took my breath away, until I spotted Akio approaching the other side of the room towards Cordelia.

 _Akio!_ My heart thumped, even though I knew it was a dream. 

Before I had time to react, I watched in morbid fascination as Akio's small frame evolved into a larger, very different boy, maybe ten or eleven years old. His red hair and green eyes were perfectly matched to the painting of the triplets hanging on the wall in the mansion. He followed his mother through a set of heavy double doors, and the expression on her face puzzled me. It was soft and smiling, and it made an uncomfortable feeling turn in my stomach.

_Why had she called him out of bed, but left the other two sleeping?_

Cordelia closed the door behind her and I tailed after the young Ayato as he approached it, pressing his cheek to the wood to make sure they were out of earshot before opening it. Satisfied, he grabbed the handle and pulled, and we entered another elegant, stone hallway. Beyond the shadows, we caught sight of the mother and son disappearing through a threshold at the end of the hall.

Ayato snuck cautiously along the wall, taking care to stay within the shadows himself. I searched behind us, wondering if he expected other vampires or servants to be wandering the house. Only empty darkness filled both ends of the corridor, but we stayed silent anyway as we made our way towards his mother and brother.

We heard giggling as we neared the door. Ayato stopped in front of the great archway, the decadently carved wood separating him from the voices behind it.

"Oh, Laito." Cordelia's voice filtered to us, muffled, but easily discernible. "Come here, my sweet Laito. I'll show you my love, my tender love," she said, her tone turning breathless.

My eyes fell to the child-Ayato beside me. I felt a pang of sadness as his features darkened with her words. His mother's treatment of his triplet was vastly different than the last dream, where her cruelty towards Ayato displayed a total absence of love. Jealously and anger now clouded the young boy's eyes as he stared, unseeing, at the door.

But something shuddered in my stomach, an uneasiness growing within me. A mother capable of drowning Ayato the way she had, abusing him in such a heartbreaking manner. . . Such a person wouldn't show a sincere affection for her other child, would she?

Listening as she spoke Laito's name again, I realized her voice didn't sound sincere. It seemed. . . off, somehow. _Wrong_.

In the next few moments, I learned why her voice concerned me. Sounds began to leak from the room, soft at first, then louder. Sounds that made bile rise in my throat.

I staggered backwards, as if moving away from the noises coming from her would make them less real. Ayato stepped back too, horror and shock twisting over his young face.

I gripped my stomach, guarding against the physical sickness threatening to overtake me. My hand shot to my mouth, covering a shaky cry that was thick with emotion. The child-Ayato turned and ran down the corridor, discarding his necessity for stealth, his hands pressed tightly to his ears.

The world tilted and turned black as the unmistakable sound of a woman's voice in the throes of sexual ecstasy followed me back to reality on the floor of the grown Ayato's bedroom.

The white ceiling, now dark with nightfall, came into view through my tears. I rolled onto my side, heaving as I tried to catch my breath. Sobs filled my chest, and I released them, overcome with the unforgettable, unforgivable images and sounds now burned into my memory.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the Laito vs Ayato drama CD, Ayato implies that he saw Laito leaving the bed in the middle of the night when they were children, that he knew what Cordelia was doing to him.


	18. Tears for a Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri tries to cope with everything that has happened to her, and with what happened to Ayato and Laito.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second half of Chapter 17 that I made into its own chapter. I hope you guys enjoy :-)

* * *

 

I lay on Ayato's floor, weak and reeling both from the vampire's grisly, angry bite and the horrific dream we shared. My heart raced in my chest, making it nearly impossible to breathe or think. My cheek pressed into the rug and I panted into it, wishing I could flush the images and sounds from my mind. My head was spinning, unable to fathom the depths of such cruelty, of such depravity from that woman, from a _mother_.

And she had _enjoyed_ it.

My palms turned sweaty and damp as I clenched my fists in disgust and rage. Her laughing face as she drowned Ayato in that other dream, then the smile she had in this dream as she pulled Laito from bed, her giggling voice, the _other_ sounds from her -- all of it plagued me as I lay there, clutching the carpet in my fingers. 

I concentrated on calming my lungs, forcing the air in through my nose and out through my mouth.

My mind drifted back to Ayato, and our interactions during the dream. How had I known he shared the dream? Was it because he knew I was there with him in the memory? How much had he seen of my life with Akio?

Somehow I realized Ayato also had witnessed the memory of the lake, that he knew my arms had held him after his own mother pushed his face underwater.

I coughed and winced as I sat up, clasping my head in my hands as I tried to make sense of everything. It seemed as if Ayato and I shared some sort of telepathic connection as we slept, our memories mingling together to form an odd, connected dream.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, my eyes cringed in front of a pounding headache. Telepathy, visions, vampires, immortality, hunters, witches. . . my mind throbbed as it tried to cope with this new life, this new and dark world that seemed to exist beyond the awareness of humans. 

Everything about this situation was so foreign, so far beyond what I thought was real. None of this stuff of myths and storybooks should exist or be scientifically possible. All of it crumbled my entire life's worth of education and understanding into dust. What else was out there that I didn’t know? Was there a god? Satan? Angels? Ghosts? Anything was possible now, and that single realization frightened me to the core.

Tears pressed out from my eyelids, and I wiped at the wetness. I pulled my hands away, shaking. The saturated blood on my fingers had smeared on my face, and the smell of it added to the nausea already churning in my stomach.

I heard Ayato clattering around in what I assumed was his bathroom. My nerves nearly exploded as he smashed something behind the closed door.

My mind suddenly screamed at me to run, before he decided to return and break me instead.

Weakly, I forced myself to my feet, barely able to stand, much less run. My knees wobbled as I staggered forward, half-falling as I lunged for the door, the one that I remembered led to the hallway.

Ayato was angry and unpredictable, and I knew the danger I was in if he continued projecting all those suppressed emotions onto me. I understood his ire, the invasion of privacy he must feel. The memories I had seen were painful and not meant to be shared without consent. Aches of guilt surged through me that I had seen them at all, even though the control over how it happened was beyond my ability to comprehend. And I didn't know how to make Ayato understand that, or if he'd even _want_ to understand. If I was beginning to understand anything myself, it was my "status" here -- as an inferior being. He was a vampire and I was human. I could never make Ayato do anything if all he ever saw me as was a lower lifeform, something beneath him.

The blood was pulsing nauseatingly through my veins as I stumbled down the hall. Gripping the wall for balance, I attempted to recall the path to my bedroom.

I glanced behind me every few minutes, expecting Ayato to come after me. But only deadly stillness filled the long passage. After falling a few times, my legs finally decided to cooperate. Moving faster, I rounded a corner that looked familiar.

I stopped short when something else familiar hit my eyes: the painting of the triplets and. . .  _her_. 

The hairs on the back of my neck sprang up, rippling with disgust as I blinked at her. That callous green stare seemed to gouge into me, her grin twisted and evil. 

I swallowed back a heavy lump of emotion as my gaze fell to Laito's. He stood directly in front of his mother, her hand resting on his shoulder. The sight of her touch on his body jolted my stomach. I couldn't bear the look in his eyes, the mixture of childhood innocence and dark secrets of adulthood that no child should know. 

Spinning on my heels with a shot of adrenaline, I finally broke into a run, desperate to put as much space between me and their haunting faces as I could.

But they chased after me, their images forever imprinted in my mind. My knees weakened and I fell, my body unable to run as the toll of the past twenty-four hours, the past week, caught up to me.

 _Just let me make it to my bedroom_ , I begged my legs, planting them shakily under my weight.

I finally, miraculously, made it to the heavy wooden door. Shoving it open wearily, I gripped the doorframe with relief and propelled myself into the darkened room.

I groped along the wall for a light switch, flipping on a soft, glowing lamp in the corner and quickly closing the door, as if I could shut out everything: the painting, the dream, the memories in Ayato's mind.

Automatically, I walked with leaden legs towards the bathroom. I flicked on a switch a second time, dousing the bathroom in a flood of yellow. My hand rose to my head, shielding against the sudden burning light.

My chest tightened as my eyes adjusted and descended on my gruesome reflection in the mirror.

My face -- painted in red, smeared in my tears -- looked like someone else's under the background of my matted, bloodied hair. It seemed fake, unreal, as if I'd just walked off the set of a horror film. The blood from Ayato's vicious bite had shrouded the left side of my body in the crimson liquid. I gawked, my mouth tumbling open. My mind couldn't fathom that all that blood could possibly be mine.

My gaze wandered to the brown, dried blood covering the rest of my small frame, then to the slashes of Reiji's _punishment_ scattered throughout my skin. The cuts were closed and nearly healed, but still plainly visible, reminding me of the horrific pain I had endured.

I swayed as a wave of dizziness washed through meme. I ran to the toilet, my stomach wretching, straining painfully to purge itself of nothing, as I hadn't eaten since the night before. I panted, coughing as my lungs and organs seemed to work against me. My head blasted deafening roars through my skull, and I fought a sob in my throat, or maybe it was more phantom vomit. In a daze, I couldnt tell.

I sat for a moment, my chest heaving. Rubbing my face, I grabbed the counter, pulling myself up. Staggering to the faucet, I splashed cold water on my face before ducking my mouth into the flow, drinking voraciously between jagged breaths.

Shaking, I struggled to look at my reflection again. Seeing my body so bloody, ripped and torn, both inside and out, forced me to face the jarring reality of what my life had now become. My shoulders sagged, and I buried my head in my hands.

_Oh god. . . what have I agreed to?_

In the dungeon, the voice in the back of my mind had comforted me, reminding me that I could live through anything as long as Akio was safe. I had even been glad to have control over his safety. I had resolved that I could survive because of that.

And I _would_ survive.

Somehow.

Hot tears seeped from my eyes and I hugged myself, shivering, as I suddenly felt so very, very cold.

 _Somehow_.

Tonelessly whispering Akio's name, I dropped to the floor and wept, my shoulders shaking with anguish. I could feel myself beginning to fall apart now that I was alone.

 _Don't do this._ I told myself between tears. _Don't lose it now._

Somehow I had to be strong.

Somehow I had to survive this horrible situation.

_Somehow._

I kept repeating the word, groping at it, as if it would give me the courage I needed to keep moving forward after I'd lost everything.

But in that moment I didn't want to move forward. All I wanted was to curl up and cry until I couldn't cry anymore. Or find the front door and run until I couldn't run anymore.

Yet, instead of doing either, I bit down hard on my bottom lip and forced my heavy limbs upwards. I stumbled to the shower, opening the door and reaching in to turn the hot water to the maximum, shoving away the sudden memory of Laito strangling me under that same water, only much colder.

_Laito._

More emotion swelled in my chest as the dream rolled through my mind once again, conjuring the image of him as a child. An ache grew in my throat, another sob threatening to erupt, but I set my jaw, blinking hard to force it back.

_I can't. No more tears._

I slammed the memory -- Ayato's memory -- from my mind. I knew Ayato felt invaded, but his mind had trespassed through mine too, forcing me to know things I didn't want to know, things that I didn't want festering within me and tormenting me.

Stripping off the ruined, bloody uniform and throwing it in the trash, I stepped into the shower, letting the patchy, white heat of the steam envelope me like a cocoon. I closed my eyes, feeling the scorching water sailing down on me from above, washing away the blood and tears.

I opened my eyes and fought another urge to be sick as I watched pink water swirling down the drain. For a moment I seemed transfixed by it, as if I were watching all vestiges of my previous life flowing out with it. This was my life now. Blood and vampires. 

The blazing water sizzling into the vicious bite on my neck broke me out of my trance. I winced, hissing through clenched teeth as it burned through the fresh wound.

Then I froze as a bell chimed through the house.

_The dinner bell._

I grabbed the shampoo and worked quickly, before any vampires decided they had a "right" to barge in and make _me_ their meal.

But it took longer than expected to clean through the tangled mess that was my long hair, to scrub off the caked-on blood from my body. As I finished, the second bell reverberated around me.

_The bell for school._

I figured Reiji probably didn't intend for me to go to school yet, not until the wounds were totally healed. _He couldn't very well blame those injuries on a schoolyard brawl._

I shut the shower off and grabbed an extra large white towel off the rack and wrapped it around myself. My long, wet hair plastered to my back, releasing drips of water that traveled down my spine.

I shivered as I opened my bathroom door, a sudden sense of paranoia mingling with the cool air on my wet skin -- I half-expected a vampire to be waiting for me on the other side.

_Though, I don't suppose it can be called paranoia if my fears are rational. . ._

But my room was blessedly empty, and I breathed a sigh of relief as I padded to my closet.

I paused.

_"My" room. "My" closet._

I gulped, wrapping the towel in tighter around my chest. It was difficult to think of this room and these things as "mine."

 _This is just the way it is now. I have to accept that_ , I told myself, swallowing back more unwelcome bitter tears from the back of my throat.

I rummaged through the clothes, annoyed and disgusted by the vast amount of lingerie and racy underwear I found. I finally located a purple tank top with matching purple pajama pants. I also grabbed a bandana and wrapped it around my neck, covering Ayato's bite. It had already begun to heal, but it still oozed, and hurt like hell. I was managing to ignore the pain, stuffing it into the hidden stash with all the rest of the things I didn't want to feel.

Slipping on a pair of fuzzy pink slippers, I trudged out of the closet, combing my fingers absent-mindedly through my damp hair as I walked. I didn't want to admit I felt refreshed after the shower, in some odd way strengthened now that all the blood and tears were washed away. Or maybe I was just in shock, numb from everything that had happened.

The movement of a headlight outside the french doors caught my attention. I unlocked and pulled them open, taking a deep breath as I stepped out onto a beautiful stone balcony overlooking the front courtyard. A light breeze coasted through the nearby woods and around the mansion, brushing my arms with goosebumps.

Hearing footsteps below, I peered over the railing. The brothers, dressed in their school uniforms, were piling into the limo. I wondered if one of them would stay home and "babysit" me, or if they trusted me on my own now, confident I wouldn't attempt to run.

Laito, the last in line, paused before climbing in the vehicle. I watched his red hair flutter in the wind, his hand reaching to his fedora, rescuing it from flying off his head.

I suppressed a tremor of fear as he turned, sensing my presence. His gaze pierced me with a darkness blacker than the night around us. I swallowed back a lump of sadness along with the fear, as I now knew the source of that darkness.

He smiled his characteristic, fake-friendly smile and waved mockingly before disappearing inside the car.

Shuddering, I rubbed my arms as I stepped away from the edge, backing into the wall behind me. I slid down, easing my head back against the stone, my elbows on my knees. Staring up at the stars peeking behind the clouds, I willed the erratic thumping of my heart to slow.

I realized in exasperation that tears were once again streaming down my face. I wondered if a day would ever pass in this house without tears, if I'd ever be able stop them. I wiped my fingers across my cheeks, wondering, too, whom the tears were for, if they were for me. . . or for Laito.

_Laito may be a monster, but even a monster didn't deserve what his mother did._

My hand slid to my forehead and I wondered,  _Would he even be a monster at all if it_ _weren't for her?_

The very concept of a vampire meant being a demon, a predator. Were they powerless against being anything but their own very nature? Karlheinz had said they didn't form the same bonds of love as humans. But he didn't say they were _incapable_ of forming bonds, or even incapable of love. In fact, they -- or at least Ayato -- seemed haunted by memories signifying a lack of love. And their emotions were volatile, but they did _have_ emotions. If they were completely devoid of a conscience or something like a sense of humanity, wouldn't they be devoid of emotions too?

So many questions made my head hurt and brought my own emotions back to the surface. I took a shaky breath, tamping them down before they could rise up and overwhelm me once more.

I stood, and swirls of dark spots bubbled in my vision. I blinked through the dizziness and clutched my stomach as a barrage of hunger suddenly engulfed me.

 _I need to find the kitchen before I pass out again,_ I realized. _If I'm going to survive, I have to eat much more than I have been. That is, if the goddamn vampires will leave me alone long enough to eat. . ._

I straightened up, gently pushing the hair from my eyes and the disturbing thoughts from my mind. Shuffling back through my room, I carefully stepped out into the hallway. 

 

 

 


	19. Ayato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing something different with this chapter.  As some of you may know, this story is my first attempt at fiction and because of my inexperience, I have stayed with Sayuri's first person perspective. But now I want to try branching out a bit, so this chapter is from Ayato's perspective. If you like my take on this point of view, let me know, though I already plan to do more like this in the future.
> 
> Oh, and one more thing. Events in this chapter relate with things that happened in Chapter 8, so if you get confused it might help to reread that chapter.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it :)

* * *

 

 

"Son of a bitch!"

I kicked the trash can across the bathroom, shattering the plastic against the shower, sending bits of paper and whatever the hell else was in it across the floor. But it didn't satisfy me.

_Fuck!_

The bitch had no right. Who the fuck did she think she was, digging into my mind like that?

I raked my hands through my hair, pulling at it as if I could tear the goddamn memories out and stomp them into the floor.

_Shit!_

I paced uselessly back and forth, the rage burning through me so hot I felt like I'd spontaneously combust at any moment. I opened the bathroom window, breathing in the night air. Rain was coming, I could feel it. Maybe not a heavy storm, but rain all the same.

I slammed the window shut. That paltry amount of air wasn't helping. The enormous house suddenly felt suffocating, as if the walls, the floors, the ceilings were crushing in on me from all directions.

I had to get out of there.

Swinging open the bathroom door, I barged into my closet, tossing aside random shit to find my shoes, practically gagging on the scent of her still filling the room.

_Damn it! Why did she have to smell so fucking good?_

I ignored the puddle of her blood on my rug as I stomped through my room, pissed that the bite hadn't killed her. She deserved to die for what she did, but for whatever fucking reason, we couldn't kill her.

_Well, if she couldn't die, then someone would._

Slamming the bedroom door I trudged into the hallway. A picture frame on the wall fell and I kicked it, still unsatisfied by the sound of breaking glass.

"Ah~Ah. And here I thought it was Subaru-kun making all the noise," came the last voice I wanted to hear right then.

Laito poked his head out of his room, and I ignored him, keeping my head down as I walked, my fists jammed in my pockets.

But he just wouldn't quit, like always.

"What's the matter, Ayato-kun? Girl trouble?" he laughed, that annoying fucking chuckle.

"Piss off," I growled, picking up speed, leaving his smug ass behind.

"Not going to school tonight, I take it?" I heard Laito call out as I disappeared to the other side of the mansion.

_No, I'm not going to fucking school, asshole._

I took off out the side door by the garage, grateful for the wind on my face as I ran at vampire speed. Nothing could calm me down like a good hunt. And tonight, I needed it.

The smell of rain was definitely in the air, and I wanted to finish hunting and get back before it hit. I _despised_ being wet.

I reached the next city over in no time, the downtown square already bustling with crowds. _That bastard_ always insisted we take our _activities_ to other towns, preferably farther away. But I was in a hurry, needing blood in mouth, blood that wasn't hers.

Hers tasted better than any other I'd ever had. Shit, just thinking about it made my mouth water. The smell alone was enough to get me drunk, and the power flowing through me as her blood filled me . . .

But it was ruined now, spoiled with things she wasn't supposed to know.

I ground my jaw as I walked through the alleyways, sniffing angrily as I pushed the thoughts of her away. I stood at the edge between two buildings, staying in the shadows as I scanned the mass of humans shuffling through shops and restaurants and bars. Conversation and laughter mingled with footsteps amid the opening and closing of doors as the humans went on with their busy, pathetic, finite little lives, completely unaware that one of them would soon die.

 _That bastard_ insisted we didn't kill our prey, to keep from causing trouble for _the family_. But tonight I needed more than a few sips from a whiny girl who only thought I had a strange kink. I needed to hear screams and struggles. I needed to see life being snuffed out.

Surveying the crowd, the thudding of all those pumping hearts wasn't enough to distract me as my mind unwillingly drifted back to that first dream about her.

I had thought it was some fluke at the time, brought on by her strong, sweet scent saturating the iron maiden. I had waited all fucking night for her to wake up after I took her from Laito. The asshole had continued to drink from her long after she passed out, long after she should have been _dead_. That was the night we realized _that bastard_ hadn't been lying. We _couldn't_ kill her.

But that didn't mean she would stay conscious, and I sure as hell wasn't going to drink from an unconscious girl. But Laito had really done his work. She was out, and I finally fell asleep too. That was when I found myself in that dream, a weird ass dream about a happy fucking family taking a vacation by the lake.

I was small, just a little kid, playing in the water and having a fantastic time with some guy that I knew was my father, only it wasn't _that bastard_. In my mind I knew it was a strange, fucked up dream but all I could do was watch from inside this kid's body that didn't feel like my own.

Then I saw her, the bride, our new prey, laying on a blanket off the shore. And something hurt in my chest. She was watching us, and I wanted to call out to her. I wanted her to join us. And oddly, I wanted to feel her arms around me, to feel them comforting me.

 _What the hell?_ was what I remember thinking.

But I knew she couldn't join us, and that's what fucking hurt. She was sick and wasn't getting better, and it scared me.

Then something _else_ scared me. I saw a different woman. The face I hadn't seen in my dreams for too many years to count. She was standing at the tree line, her lavendar hair and green eyes exactly the same as I remembered them. Before my brothers and I killed her.

She beckoned to me, and I felt myself powerless to disobey. My legs moved of their own accord, as if _that bitch_ were pulling them to her. I passed our new prey on her blanket, but she was asleep in the sun. An overwhelming desire to run to her took over, the _need_ to have her protect me.

A human? Protect me? From _that_ bitch?

 _What in the actual fuck is happening to my mind?_ I wondered.

I tried forcing myself to wake up then, but I couldn't. All I could do was watch, helpless, as my feet took me to _her_.

The anger and hate that I had felt the night I ripped into her flesh flooded over me as I stood next to her, her twisted, smiling face looking _down_ at me, as it always had. I wanted to tear into her again, feel her cold blood on my hands, taste the sweetness of it in my mouth. But my body wouldn't move.

Her gaze lifted from me, turning her attention behind me, toward the water out in the distance. I looked over my shoulder to see what had pulled her sight from me.

My brow dipped down in confusion. Our prey was at the dock, frantically searching for me.

A foreign feeling of warmth surged over me. She _wanted_ to protect me?

But she was too late. _That bitch_ grinned down at me, as if happy to take me away from her. She pulled me down the path back to the mansion, and suddenly the world flickered and swirled until I found myself somewhere else, in an old, long forgotten memory.

It was one of the rare days we visited the mansion in the human world. Normally we spent our days back at the castle in the demon world, but that day, for reasons unknown to me, we were staying at the mansion.

I was supposed to be inside, concentrating on my studies, reading a goddamn book I'd already read twice but that _that bitch_ insisted I read again until I had it memorized. The sounds of my brothers playing outside had distracted me. Well, it wasn't so much playing as it was Kanato crying. I dropped my book and ran outside to find out what the hell was the problem.

Wandering through the courtyard, I discovered Kanato on his knees, his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking. Laito kneeled next to him, his hand on his back.

"What's going on?" I asked, approaching them.

"Kanato lost his pet bat," Laito replied, an expression of concern on his face as he looked up at me standing over them.

I couldn't help busting out laughing. I was stuck indoors every day, all day, pressured to become the next head of the family when I came of age, while these two assholes played outside. And he was fucking _crying_ over a lost _bat_? When we had literally hundreds of others he could make into his pet? That struck me as really fucking hilarious. _What an idiot._

Laito glared at me, like it was _wrong_ of me to think of Kanato's crying as utter bullshit.

"Come on Kanato, we'll help you find it," Laito said, staring at me poignantly.

I threw my hands up in the air. "Fine, fine," I conceded. I didn't want to be inside anyway.

We ran through the courtyard, looking through rosebushes, under eaves, and calling the stupid bat's name. But after a while the pet was completely forgotten about as we chased each other around, eventually finding ourselves in the field, wrestling and playing tag.

Laughing my ass off as I held Laito down, something caught my attention from the corner of my eye. I did a double-take, staring in disbelief at the edge of the woods, at the path that led to the lake. She was there -- our new prey. And she was looking for me still.

_What the hell?_

Laito pushed me off and that's when I heard _that bitch_ call my name.

 _Shit!_ I'd been caught shirking my studies again.

Part of me wanted to run to the woman at the tree line, somehow knowing she would help me. But I couldn't. The force of _that bitch's_ voice pulled me away and I shot back through the courtyard.

The next thing I remembered was  _that bitch_ screaming at me, plunging my head under the fountain water, her fingernails digging into my scalp.

I panicked.

I couldn't breathe, the water was entering my lungs, squeezing out the air, clamping my chest with a pain so vile I thought I might vomit. In fact, I wanted to. Maybe the vomit would force the water out of my lungs. But nothing could stop it, no matter how hard I flailed my arms and legs, or pushed against her strength. The pain rocketed through me, gouging at me. And it just wouldn't stop. _That bitch_ just wouldn't let go.

And then all at once I was upright, the force of her hand gone from the back of my head. I coughed violently, my lungs thrusting out the water and raggedly drawing in air as uncontrollable, heavy sobs left my throat.

In a daze, I felt gentle arms encircle me, pulling me close, into a body of indescribable warmth, _human_ warmth. I raised my shocked eyes to find her, our prey, protecting me, an expression on her face that I'd never seen directed my way. An expression I wanted to stay locked in forever. . .

But then it began to fade, the tears flowing down her face, the tears that were. . .  _for me. . ._  began to whirl and darken, her face disappearing. I wanted to hold onto it, her warmth, that expression, but it was fading out of my grasp. I pulled tighter, but she seemed to squirm against me.

And then I realized it was still a dream -- a long, crazy, fucked up dream. But that didn't stop me from wanting to stay in that moment. However, reality always catches up. The prey's scent had messed with my head and then she was in the iron maiden, finally awake, pushing against me, and pissing me off.

_Ah, why couldn't she just stay still and warm like the dream?_

At the time I hadn't realized she'd had that dream too. Not until the next fucking time she fell asleep next to me, her goddamn warm arms wrapped around me.

_Shit!_

I yanked my hands through my hair, rage flaring in my veins again. An angry growl left my throat as I forced the thoughts of her away. I didn't want to think about her fucking arms around me, her hands lulling me to sleep as they threaded through my hair. I didn't want to think about the utter, goddamn comfort I felt in that second dream where she read a story like some perfect mother hen.

And I _wouldn't_ think about what she'd seen after that.

_Fuck!_

I punched the wall I was leaning on, scaring a few humans walking by.

 _Christ, I really am acting like Subaru,_ I thought angrily.

Forcing myself to focus on the hunt, I scoured over the floods of people. I glanced at the sky, the wind beginning to pick up as clouds gathered over the stars. But I still had time.

Stepping out into the light, I finally found what I was looking for. A girl came out of some little boutique, alone and oblivious. I fell in behind her, careful to stay back, pulling my jacket hood over my head.

The girl looked like her: long auburn hair down her back that was flecked with red; a small, slender body, more than half a foot shorter than me. Even her school uniform reminded me of hers, the dark blue fabric resembling the black skirt which had hung so nicely over her legs, even if they were too skinny for my taste. This girl's legs were a bit more curved than the new prey's, more suited for me. So was the rest of her. I hungered to feel her under me, crushed beneath my weight as I sucked the life from her luscious body.

 _That bastard_  would be pissed if he found out, but I didn't care. Let him be pissed. It was his fault he'd given us that goddamn mind-invading prey in the first place. How did he think we were going to react?

The girl turned around a corner, and I followed. The thick, sweet scent of her blood pervaded my nostrils as she walked alone down a dark side alley. It was too easy. She couldn't even give me more of a challenge. 

_Stupid, stupid girl._

It actually pissed me off at how dumb she was to walk alone, at night, completely unaware of her surroundings. She deserved what I was about to do to her for being such an idiot.

I could practically feel my fangs throbbing, _needing_ to be at her throat. She stopped a few feet in front of me, finally sensing my presence. I stopped too, just so I could take in her frightened expression when she looked over her shoulder to see herself alone in an alley with me.

And she didn't disappoint. Her look of fear was exquisite: the wide eyes, the dropped jaw, the paling cheeks, all accompanied by quickening breath and pulse, which was music to my ears. One look at my glowing eyes set intently on her was all it took for her to take off running.

I smiled despite my foul mood. She smelled of the flowered perfume from that little boutique, with a mixture of sushi she had for dinner, even the plastic on her fingers from the shopping bags she'd just dropped. I didn't bother running after her. That scent would take me right to her. This was a dead end alley anyway.

And soon enough, there she was, beautiful in her fear as she realized she had nowhere to go.

I savored the moment as I slowly approached her. Her heart was beating much faster now that she was in a panic.

I stopped in front of her, watching her eyes race back and forth, looking for any escape route.

"What do you want?" she asked, her voice deliciously trembling like her body.

They always asked that question.

But I didn't answer. Sometimes silence scared them more than anything. I simply stared her down, waiting for her to try to dart around me. Which she wasted no time doing after I didn't reply.

I grabbed her by the neck, slamming her against the wall. This was always the best part about the hunt: Feeling them shake under me, fighting against my strength, then the look on their faces when they know they're helpless, when they know they're _mine_.

She understood she was mine pretty fast. Maybe she wasn't as stupid as I thought. She stopped struggling and just stared with horror as I smiled at her, letting her see the full length of my fangs.

My thumb moved to caress her throat, tracing the line of her carotid artery, drawing a whimper from her lips and sending shivers through her trembling body. I pressed her harder on the wall, just so I could feel those shudders against me.

I brought my fangs to her skin, so soft and silky, so delicate and fragile, so easily pierced. My teeth trailed along the same line as my thumb, prolonging the moment when I would sink them in. She shivered so wonderfully underneath me, pleading with me to stop and let her go. I could smell the tears now, mingling with the scent of fear and blood.

And then something came over me as I leaned back to enjoy her frightened face once more before taking what was mine. I looked into her blue eyes, so similar to the new prey's, and I couldn't seem to help the fresh ignition of anger. It pulsed through me as rapidly as her heartbeat in my ears.

"Why didn't you do anything?" I asked her through gritted teeth.

She looked at me blankly, nothing but terror in her eyes.

"Hah?!" I was getting really angry now. She had saved me in that first dream. She had protected me. She had knocked _that bitch_ down and put her arms around me. But the second time, in the next dream, after she followed me around the castle, seeing _that bitch_ with Richter, seeing her take my brother, hearing those sickening sounds. . . She just fucking stood there. She didn't _do_ anything to stop _that bitch_.

She didn't bother saving Laito like she'd saved me.

And it really fucking pissed me off.

Snarling at the girl's silence, I drove my fangs deep into her veins.

She gave me the scream I so desperately needed to hear. I brought my hand to her mouth to muffle it, savoring how her screams were just as trapped by me as she was. Her sticky, syrupy blood hit the back of my throat, flowing over my taste buds. I dug deeper, wanting to spill all of it at once.

But I suddenly jerked back, spitting out the liquid.

_What the fuck?!_

My eyes locked with hers angrily, her gaze wide and horrified at the sight of her lifesource running down my chin. I wiped my mouth, watching in shock as the red substance dripped between my fingers.

The blood tasted like _shit_. Like charcoal mixed with rotting meat and curdled milk, the texture dry, as if it were ash on my tongue instead of blood. It was absolutely disgusting.

Letting go of her, she dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes, her hand grabbing her neck.

I swished saliva around my mouth and spit some more, trying to clean that nasty taste out of my mouth. I neither paid attention nor cared when the girl staggered to her feet and stumbled off crying.

I didn't bother going after her. She was so disgusting she wasn't even worth it. Never had blood tasted that bad, not even with whores who'd been drinking and smoking and fucking all night.

Breathing heavily, I teleported to a rooftop on the other side of the town square. I didn't have enough blood in me to teleport far. Though, even after a fully drained human, vampires can only teleport a couple of miles at best. 

The wind shifted, blowing a little harder, signaling the incoming weather. The scent of asphalt, combined with tobacco and liquor, replaced that girl's smell, for which I was thankful. I was about to be sick in the presence of that odor much longer. I should have broken her neck just for tasting so bad.

My stomach somehow rumbled then, suddenly hungry in spite of the nausea.

Hearing laughter and voices on the street below, I looked over the edge of the roof. A drunk couple was half-walking, half-stumbling out of a bar, hanging on to each other for support as they giggled. I jumped down in front of them, my mouth watering. They both staggered backwards and then laughed, slurring something I didn't care to listen to.

I grabbed the woman and threw her up against the wall, not hesitating for even a second to submerge my fangs into her. But a second was all it took for her blood to reach my tongue, and my taste buds reacted violently.

She tasted like shit too.

I tossed the woman back to her hollering, inebriated man, and took off running.

_What the fuck is going on?_

Quickly scanning the streets, I caught two more females, both with the same results, both ravaging my mouth with their horrid taste.

Grinding my fangs together, I sped away from town, running back towards the mansion. I glanced up at the sky one more time.

_Shit._

I had misjudged. I wasn't going to make it ahead of the rain. But it didn't concern me as much now with the parched dryness growing in the back of my throat, the emptiness hollowing out my stomach.

I knew _that bastard_ would have a few choice things to say about the number of attacks, but I didn't care. I'd have a few things to say to him as well.

_Like what the hell is going on with this new bride?_

The more I fed on shitty blood, the more I could feel my hunger growing. But it wasn't just any hunger. It was a hunger for her. I wanted her blood, only hers.

But I'd be damned if I'd let any blood control me that way.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if you guys noticed, but in Ayato's memory, Laito was actually acting quite nice, being concerned for Kanato, disliking Ayato laughing at him. This memory takes place before Cordelia abused Laito. There are implications in the game that Laito was a nice kid before his mother fucked him up. :(
> 
> *******
> 
> Also, I have no idea how far the vampires can teleport. This was just me making stuff up. And in canon, the vampires can fly, but they can't in my story. I just think it's weird they can fly lol, so I didn't include it in my story. Instead, they can run at vampire speed like typical vampires.


	20. Collection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri learns about a certain vampire's "collection."

 

 

After wandering the mansion in the dark for what seemed like an obscenely long time, I finally stumbled onto the kitchen. Maybe I would have gawked at the extravagance of the it, if I hadn't been so weak from hunger. Or perhaps I was simply getting used to the extreme luxury these vampires lived in.

 _They are royalty, after all,_ I thought, though they didn't behave like any royalty I'd ever heard of.

 _Well, they are demon royals_.

Who knew how different they were from what the human world was used to. I had a feeling I would find out more than I wanted to, now that I was condemned to this life. I swallowed the pit of fear welling in my stomach, reminding me of its emptiness.

Never feeling so hungry in all my life, my hands seemed to move of their own accord as I uncovered a shockingly large amount of food in the pantry.

 _Why the hell do vampires need so much food_? I wondered as I reached for random boxes of cookies, crackers and potato chips and shoved them in my mouth.

However, my stomach seemed to be begging me for a meal, not satisfied with the unfulfilling junk food.

With my nerves still on edge, I foraged through the refrigerator, stopping every so often to listen for any signs of movement around me. Hearing nothing, I searched through what appeared to be leftover stir fry, perhaps from dinner earlier that night. Pulling out the vegetables and rice, I fumbled through the cabinets looking for a plate and utensils, attempting to be as quiet as humanly possible.

Out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of a wine rack. I almost smiled for the first time since this ordeal began. Almost.

Grabbing a nearby corkscrew, I chose a random bottle of red that I'd never heard of, and poured it into the first glass I found. Closing my eyes, I took a long, much needed sip.

God, it tasted good. As if the red warmth slipping down my throat was pushing all the emotions and trauma even further down into that deep, numb place in my soul. And I couldn't have been more grateful for it.

Stumbling slightly as the wine heated my veins, I piled the veggies and rice onto the plate, and dared to use the microwave.

 _If anyone was going to hear me, I'm sure they would have by now_ , I reasoned.

As I waited for the food to heat, a sudden shadow on the wall in front of me alerted me to an ominous presence.

_Shit!_

I whirled around, every muscle in my body tensing.

Kanato stood before me, only inches away, his teddy bear clutched tightly to his chest. His cold breath brushed my face as he stared at me silently, creepily, for several long seconds. My own breath stalled in my lungs as I stared back, wide-eyed and uncertain.

Finally he spoke, his voice soft and almost effeminate. "What are you doing, Kimiko-san?"

I gulped, my vocal cords tight with apprehension. "I missed dinner," I answered, tepidly. "So, I'm heating some food for myself."

Kanato leaned forward slightly and I instinctively leaned away, my back arching over the countertop. The microwave beeped behind me, signaling my warmed meal, but my food was forgotten at the sight of the vampire.

"They said you're a mother," he said quizzically. 

". . .Yes," I said, almost in the form of a question as I wondered nervously what he was implying.

"Human mothers cook meals for their children, don't they?" He blinked inquisitively at me.

". . .That's right. . . they do," I replied slowly.

"Please be my mother, and make something for me."

My lips parted in surprise at his request, the small vampire speaking with an innocence that confused me. I studied his deep purple eyes so close to my own. He seemed sincere, but something in his gaze still made me uneasy.

"Um, sure. Of course." I couldn't possibly refuse him, regardless of how worried I was by his sudden appearance in the kitchen.

Kanato's entire body seemed to relax and he giggled a childlike laugh, backing away from me as he did.

 _I guess they didn't trust me to stay here alone after all_ , I realized.

"What would you like?" I asked, inwardly a little curious what human foods vampires liked to eat, and glad he was deciding not to make _me_ his meal.

As he took a seat at the bar, I turned back to the microwave and removed my steaming plate of food, my hunger taking over at the smell of it filling my nose.

"I want something sweet," he informed me.

 _Hmm . . something sweet. . .,_ I contemplated as I picked up my fork to stir the hot rice and veggies.

"What are you doing?" Kanato's voice was instantly behind me again.

I jumped, and turned, looking at him in surprise. "I'm going to eat my stir fry," I said.

"I don't care about your meal. Hurry up and fix mine!" he demanded, his tone turning deeper and angry.

"But, mine's already finished. I'll only take a few minutes to eat it," I said, unable to keep the annoyance out of my tone.

Kanato's eyes darkened, along with his voice. "I don't like to wait!" he said, his voice raised as he stepped directly into my face, the arms that were clutching his teddy pressing into my stomach.

I furrowed my brow at his attitude, but I didn't want to risk angering him further. "Okay, alright," I said, bringing my hands to his chest, both to calm him and move him gently away from me. "I'll fix yours at the same time."

Sliding out from between him and the stove, I headed toward the pantry. He glared at me, stalking back to his chair at the bar, mumbling something to the bear.

Trying to ignore the anxiety knotted in my stomach, I gathered some supplies and brought them back to the counter.

Plucking a few bites of my stir fry into my mouth, I mixed the ingredients for Kanato's meal together. I hadn't cooked a meal in at least a year, probably more. The arthritis that had ravaged my fingers -- well, all of my joints, actually -- left me unable to use utensils or carry pots. I flexed my hands at the thought, swallowing back an icy feeling in my throat as they bent and moved without the slightest hint of pain.

"What are you making?" Kanato asked.

"Pancakes," I answered, pouring batter onto a skillet after taking another long swig of wine.

"Pancakes aren't sweet enough," he said, sulking.

I peered at him over my shoulder. His hands were across his chest, so much like a pouting child.

"Well, I make mine really sweet, like cake. My son loved them."

A sudden pang of sadness hit me at the thought of Akio.

_I'm already talking about him in the past tense._

I bit back the tears stinging at the corners of my eyes.

"Fine, then," Kanato said with a frown, and I sensed he didn't like the mention of my own child. "Just hurry it up. I don't want to wait anymore."

As the pancake batter bubbled on the skillet, I shoveled the stir fry in my mouth. I decided I would cook enough pancakes for me too, as I finished the plate of rice and veggies too fast, hunger still gnawing at my stomach.

About ten minutes later, I stacked two bowls full of sugar-stuffed pancakes, topping them with maple syrup and whipped cream.

 _I hope he likes these,_ I thought with trepidation. I didn't relish the possibility of the childlike vampire having a childlike tantrum if he didn't.

"I don't want to eat it here," he said, a half-smile crossing his lips. "Come with me."

Kanato picked up his bowl and grabbed my wrist, nearly knocking my own bowl out of my other hand.

"Where are we going?" I asked in surprise as I  somehow caught my fork and butter knife from dropping, my balance unsteady from both him and the wine.

"I want to show you my favorite place." The purple-haired vampire dragged me along, the teddy bear tucked under his arm as he carried his stack of pancakes.

After plodding through the monstrous house for several minutes, Kanato finally found the door he was looking for and tugged it open.

The space beyond was pitch black and windowless. I stood behind the vampire nervously, a feeling of uneasiness surging through me. He pulled my arm through the door and closed it, throwing us into darkness.

I stood stark still for a long moment. The room was silent and I couldn't sense the petite vampire near me. The feeling of unease swelled over me, turning into something much more frightening the longer I stood, making my skin crawl with a shrieking urge to run.

"Kanato?" I called out, his name sinking into the inky blackness.

The lights suddenly flipped on with a loud clunk, and I jumped. Kanato appeared instantaneously at my side, giggling as I jumped even more.

 _I don't think I'll ever get used to their speed_ , I thought as I attempted to calm my nerves. _Thank god he was just playing a trick on me. . ._

"So, what do you think?" he asked, his tone hopeful as he watched me closely, seeming to enjoy my fright.

I felt the tank top cling damply to my skin as my eyes lifted. I let out a shaky breath, taking in terrifying figures arranged throughout the vastly spacious room.

"What. . . are they?" My question was a hoarse whisper as a wave of dread tumbled over me, the sense that something was very, very wrong.

"They're my dolls," Kanato said matter-of-factly. "Are you too stupid to see that they're wax figures?"

The tension didn't leave my shoulders.  _Wax figures? They look so real. . ._

Kanato set his bear on a nearby table, taking his bowl of pancakes in both hands as I scanned the room.

The 'dolls' were life-size replicas of young women dressed in ball gowns of various colors and from different eras. They seemed to be set up as if on a dance floor, but all of their faces held an eerie, deathly feel to them. None of them smiled and their expressions seemed to be pleading for my help.

I shuddered.

"It's cold," Kanato said softly, almost inaudibly, as he stared into his bowl. "WHAT IS THIS?!" he suddenly yelled, throwing his bowl of pancakes to the floor.

Screaming out a cry of shock and staggering backwards, my own bowl clattered out of my hands, joining his in a shattered mess at our feet.

I blinked at him in disbelief.

"IT'S COLD! I CAN'T EAT PANCAKES COLD!" he shouted at me. "HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO EAT THIS?!"

"Well, it wouldn't be cold if we had eaten it in the kitchen!" I said, irritation flooding over my better judgment.

The lines of his face tightened in fury. "SHUT UP! DON'T BACK TALK TO ME!"

My anger suddenly flared in response to his words, to his bratty behavior, and perhaps the wine made my mouth reply more heatedly than was probably wise. "Back talk you?! What do you think I am, a child?! You asked me to be your mother, didn't you? You're the one who shouldn't scream at me that way!"

I immediately realized my mistake. The aura around Kanato grew menacing and dark, and something darker flickered in his eyes.

"You're not my mother," he said lowly, through his clenched jaw.

He suddenly shot foward and shoved me to the ground.

My back hit the wood floor with a harsh thud. I cried out as shards of broken ceramic crushed into my skin.

The small vampire stood over me, his hand clutched in his purple hair, his breathing shaky, as if trying to contain his anger.

"You are not my mother!" he repeated, the tone in his voice dropping.

Rivers of ice swam through my veins, the deadly edge in his stare cutting through me, reminding me that Kanato was a dangerous predator just like his brothers.

The primitive part of my brain seemed to react on its own. I bounded to my feet, racing for the door.

I seized the handle and yanked, pulling at the heavy wood. But the door wouldn't budge.

Kanato laughed from sickeningly close behind me. I whirled around just as he slammed me against the door, gripping me by the upper arms. I drew in an abrupt breath as my skull cracked against the wood. The room spun, the pain searing in my head, the jolt of the impact rippling all the way down to my toes.

Kanato’s enraged face filled my vision, and I recoiled. But the wood at my back trapped me, pinning me there along with his inhuman strength on my arms.

"You're right, I'm not your mother, Kanato!" I said, trying to recover from the disorientation in my brain.

 _No, I'm nothing like that horrible thing you call a mother,_ I couldn't help thinking despite the dizziness and fear.

"But I still _could_ be your mother," I breathed. "I know how to be a really good mother, I do."

I was clinging to desperation, feeling the danger rolling off the small vampire, the tension crackling around him.

He growled lowly and grit his teeth, his fingers burrowing deeper into my flesh. "You could never be my mother! She's always with me! I don't need you!" His voice fractured with emotion. Then he started giggling, as if laughing at some inside joke I wouldn't understand.

I stared at him wide-eyed, wondering if he was literally crazy, when he gave me another hard shove against the door. The sharp movement made the knot on the back of my scalp enlarge.

"Let go of me!" I shrieked, realizing I couldn't talk him into calming down. I pushed him, fisting against him with all my might.

But despite his size, he was every bit as strong as his brothers.

His fanged grin spread thicker, both sinister and amused. "Do you think you can fight me? A puny little human like you? Against someone like me?" He threw his head back and laughed. "Go ahead! I like watching humans struggle! I can just sit back and watch them be more pathetic than me!"

Kanato's laughter turned feverish, and I grimaced in frustration as I pushed at him uselessly. He was right. It was pathetic to fight.

_But what am I supposed to do?_

My own disposition wouldn't allow me to stand still and let the vampires do whatever the hell they wanted to do to me. Even if it was pathetic, I couldn't resist my own will to fight.

But the dark-eyed vampire seemed to be waiting for me to tire myself out. Reluctantly, I halted my struggling, slowly dropping my arms to my sides, my chest rising and falling as I held his gaze. I understood then, that I needed to use my energy smartly, not waste it while he held me with minimal effort.

He stared at me thoughtfully for a few moments as I caught my breath. Kanato seemed as if he were carefully studying my features, his eyes roving over mine, to my lips, my chin, my hair, then over my body. I twitched uncomfortably under his scrutinizing gaze, fighting the urge to struggle.

"You would make such a beautiful doll," he said quietly after a few moments.

I jerked in his hold. "What?"

He laced his fingers through my hair, picking out broken pieces of the bowls. "Wouldn't you like that? I would take very good care of you. You could even be the most beautiful one." Kanato looked back at the figures behind him. "I'd put you right in the front. Where everyone could admire you."

I trembled as the vampire pulled me off the door and pushed me closer to his _collection_. He stopped amidst the rubble of pancakes and syrup and shattered dinnerware. His chilled hand glided over my shoulder blades and under my hair, swiping at the bits of ceramic. I hissed as he brushed the cuts, and then shivered as he brought his face in close, his cold breath wafting under my earlobe as he inhaled.

"Without blood," he whispered into my neck, sweeping my hair over the opposite shoulder. "You're skin would be as white as porcelain."

The figures stared at me with their icy faces, forever frozen in time. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, unable to bear looking at them for another second.

"Th-They aren't made out of wax. . . are they?" My voice sounded more frightened than I had intended, steeped in fear.

Kanato laughed a soft, delighted laugh in my ear. "I want to make you a doll right now. Wouldn't that be lovely? _You_ would be lovely."

I turned to face him, faltering at the gleeful expression on his face. He lifted a hand, caressing the side of my face, his fingertips sending shivers to my knees.

 _Maybe he's just trying to scare me,_ I thought, remembering they couldn't kill me.

I took a deep breath, my voice wavering. "But I'm immortal too."

Kanato's features immediately turned dangerous. "That's what Reiji told us," he said tautly, his voice cracking with tears. "BUT HOW CAN THAT BE TRUE?! YOU'RE JUST A HUMAN! A STUPID HUMAN!"

Suddenly my feet went out from under me as Kanato thrust me to the floor. I cried out sharply as the floorboards rammed into my body.

Pinning my hips under his, he trapped my wrists against the ground. "YOU'RE A HUMAN! ALL YOU'RE GOOD FOR IS DYING!" he cried, his tone soaked with anger. "YOU SHOULD ONLY LIVE FOREVER AS MINE! AS MY DOLL!"

I gaped at him, terrified as he hovered above me. His own eyes were wild and frenzied, the dark circles under his lashes seeming to grow darker with rage. For such a small frame, he was heavy against me and somehow the rage seemed to make him heavier.

Then all at once Kanato let go of my wrists and sat back on his haunches, clasping his head in his hands, crying.

I let out a breath, my mouth hanging open.

_He's a goddamn lunatic!_

I turned my head, frantically scanning the floor, desperate for anything to help me. I spotted a fork almost within my reach.

The vampire slammed his hands on either side of my head and my eyes shot back to him in fear. His tears were gone. His face held a menacing edge, his smile spearing through me.

"There has to be a way you can die," he said calmly, almost methodically. He reached over to tuck a long strand of hair behind my ear, petting me as he did so, already treating me like a doll. "Everything dies, even vampires," he smiled. "We're all embraced by the arms of death at some point."

Kanato seemed to speak almost lovingly of death, bewildering me. I wanted to ask him what he meant, since vampires were immortal, but the words were wedged in my throat. All I could manage was a croaked, "How?"

He chuckled. "Even the immortal have ways to die. 'Immortal' just means we won't die of sickness or old age." He tilted his head to the side. "But are you really immortal like us? A little human? I want to test that out and see."

My body went rigid with fear, my skin prickling in horror.  _Oh god. . . what does he mean by that?_

Kanato leaned forward and buried his face in my neck. I stiffened even more, the breath lodging in my throat like a heavy boulder. He took a long inhale, trailing his nose from my neck and stopping just above my breast, at the edge of the tank top.

"Ah," he breathed out. "The smell of your blood is always floating off your skin. . . so unusual among humans. . . you're blood must be amazingly sweet. . ." He lifted his head, meeting my eyes. "Hmm, but I can sample it after I kill you."

 _Oh god!_ My insides twisted as the color drained from my face.

"Oh don't worry, I'll be sure to drink it all. I won't waste any of it," he smiled, as if that was somehow reassuring.

"No. . . please, Kanato," I said with imploring eyes, hating the sound of my pleading voice, but knowing no other way to talk him away from this insanity. I glanced over at the fork, wondering if it could help me, if I could even reach it.

"You don't want to die?" he asked, with seemingly genuine curiosity. He leaned his head back as if reminiscing about something wonderful. "But death is so beautiful, so tranquil. . . and cold. . . and quiet. . .," he sighed, turning his body to look behind him. "Can't you see?" he said. "How peaceful they are?"

With his weight shifted slightly off me and his back turned, I gently reached my hand as far to the right as I could stretch. My fingers hooked around the metal utensil.

"All you have to do is die and you can be peaceful, too," he said, his head turning toward me just in time to see the blur of silver as I stabbed the fork into the side of his thigh.

He fell backwards, screaming in pain.

I instantly scrambled to my feet, snatching a butter knife and a large shard of ceramic off the floor before bolting to the back of the room, frantically searching for another exit.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!!" Kanato shouted with fury, the sound echoing, as if all the 'dolls' had screamed it.

My heart shot into my throat. I fought back overwhelming waves of nausea and terror as I careened through the standing corpses. Their eyes seemed to follow me, their tortured expressions whispering, "You will be one of us next," while Kanato's crying chased me to the back wall, coming from everywhere and nowhere at once.

Panicked, I dashed to the left.

 _Please let there be another door! Please! Please!_ The prayer beat in time with my hammering pulse.

But somewhere inside of me I knew it was useless, that what I had done was incredibly stupid, that I could never hide from nor defend myself against these monsters.

Tears of exasperation and frustration and panic streamed down my face as I ran.

_I don't know what to do! I don't know how to survive them! Especially him! He's fucking crazy!_

Screaming in terror, I skidded backwards and nearly fell. Kanato materialized in front of me, hissing through his locked jaw, the bloody fork gripped in his hand.

"Stay away from me!" I screeched hopelessly, holding the knife and shard of ceramic in my hands, both trembling.

Kanato reached out for me and I swiped, the butter knife catching his palm. He howled and pulled back, a small slice of red appearing on his skin.

"Why did you do that?!" he cried, gasping and wailing with tears.

I gawked at him. He was crying like a baby at a small cut, one that barely broke the skin.

"WHY?!" The vampire took advantage of my momentary surprise, moving with such speed and anger that I didn't even have time to register what happened.

"WHY?!" he screamed as I found myself slammed to the floor once again.

With the wind knocked out of me, I fought for my grip on the knife along with my breath. I realized with despair that Kanato had thrown the knife well out of reach, the same with the ceramic.

 _No!_ Panting, I winced in anguish and turned back to the vampire on top of me.

"Why, Kimiko-san? Why?" His voice turned soft as he laid his face on my chest, sobbing.

With his head heavy against me and his body shaking with tears, I might have felt sorry for him. . . if he hadn't been intent on killing me. 

"K-Kanato, I-I'm sorry!" I stuttered out, hoping I could appeal to him one more time. "You scared me! I just reacted!"

He brought his face over mine, his tears gone, his expression hard. "You should apologize nicer than that."

I stared at him, stunned. _Was he fake crying?_

The vampire leaned back and held the fork over his head, his face twisted in anger. "APOLOGIZE SINCERELY!" 

Fear rocketed down my spine. _Oh my god, he's going to stab me!_

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Kanato!" I wailed.

"Not good enough!" With horrifying speed, he brought the fork down, impaling it into my left shoulder.

A long, piercing scream tore out of me. The pain was excruciating, burning through my veins, radiating out as if he'd stabbed me with a hot poker.

"I don't like noisy things! If you scream again, I'll make it hurt more!" he shouted, striking me again, in my right forearm. 

I jerked as my arm shot out and my back arched, my nerves shredding. I bit down hard on my lip to keep from releasing another scream.

The vampire tossed his head back and laughed. "It burns doesn't it?"

The pain was indeed searing through my upper body in waves, surging and throbbing. A fog of tears blurred my vision and I struggled to breathe through the ghastly fire.

Kanato's laughing subsided. "Now, I said apologize _sincerely_ ," he said, his voice calm as he hiked his arm above his head once more.

My nails dug into my palms, preparing for another blow.  _He really is insane!_

I realized that it didn't seem to matter if I apologized the way he wanted or not, he was intent on hurting me either way. So I grit my teeth and locked his damn apology on my tongue.

 _Fuck him!_ I thought furiously, the pain sprouting an intense anger in my gut.

But instead of stabbing, he lowered his arm, along with his face, his features transforming from crazed to bewitched as he seemed to catch the scent of blood pooling around the wound on my shoulder, draining into my hair and onto the floor.

"Ahh," he said, lowly, almost happily. "I can't resist it anymore."

I shuddered as his mouth closed over the injury, pulling out the red liquid with astonishingly delicate gulps. The sound of him drinking, the sensation of the crazy bastard's lips on my skin, made me sick.

"It is so rich and sweet," he commented, sucking out another sip. "Really. . . what is this?" He groaned softly before pulling back and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His dark eyes fixed on mine. "It's almost a shame to kill you. You really are high quality prey."

Hot tears burned in my eyes. I watched as if outside my body as Kanato raised the fork up again, aiming for my sternum.

"It would be nice to cut open your chest and drink directly from your heart. Let's see if that would that would give you death."

 _Oh god!_ I clamped my eyes shut in terror.

"No!" was all I could scream as Kanato brought the fork down.

But I never felt the pain.

"Kanato! Enough of this nonsense!" came an unexpected voice that I never imagined I'd be happy to hear.

I jerked my eyes open to find Reiji leaning over both of us, pulling Kanato to his feet and the fork from his hand.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: This chapter is obviously inspired by the infamous fork scene in Kanato's route on the first game ;-).
> 
> Here is [Kanato's Route](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2013/04/27/diabolik-lovers-sakamaki-kanato-2/) where you can find that scene and a few quotes used in this chapter. All credits go to the translator.


	21. Losing Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri is terrified and in shock after Kanato's attack. Reiji helps her, but he is not himself.

* * *

 

 

I sat in Reiji's study, stunned and shaking, the images of Kanato's _dolls_ tormenting my mind, the countless faces of all those girls he'd killed floating in the background of the small vampire's crazed eyes as he prepared to rip my chest open with a fork. The terror clung to me, my body practically vibrating with shock, as if I had been drenched with icy water, inside and out, and it was all I could do not to run from the room screaming.

And that was almost what I did when Reiji closed the door, trapping me alone with him in the study. I forcefully kept my gaze trained on my lap, afraid that if I looked at him, even just a glimpse, it would unleash the panic and hysterics that I was just barely keeping under the surface. The air had become heavy and oppressive, wrapping around my lungs like a vice grip, and I was having enough difficulty just focusing on breathing. I knew that if I lifted my head and saw those cruel red eyes burning into me, I wouldn't be able to keep control.

I didn't know why Reiji had brought me here, or even why I had obediently followed him through the halls. Had he beaten the defiance out of me back in the dungeon? Or was I simply in too much shock to disobey? Or worse, was I grateful that he had saved me, and willing to follow him because of that? I knew he hadn't stopped Kanato out of some sense of protectiveness or loyalty to me; he was just following his father's orders.

_So why am I here?_

Why didn't he just let me go back to my room where I could fall to pieces as I came to terms with Kanato's desire to turn me into a corpse doll?

As if reading my thoughts, Reiji finally spoke. "You will attend school tonight. I will not have you injured if you are to do so. I cannot have school authorities suspecting abuse," he said curtly, the tone of his voice unusually grim as I listened to him opening and closing drawers, gathering supplies.

 _School? Tonight?_ My eyebrows almost knitted in confusion until I remembered that it was early morning, well after midnight, perhaps even near dawn.

The thought of returning to school that evening actually brought me some small measure of hope: They were not as likely to attack me at school, as long as I stayed around other people. And I wouldn't be alone in the house with one of them.

Reiji didn't allow me much of a reprieve as he pulled a chair in front of me. 

"Give me your arm," the tall vampire said as he sat down, his knees almost touching mine, a tray of medical supplies perched on the table next to him.

 _Did he really just bring me here to patch me up?_ I wondered with trepidation. I couldn't help noticing the tension in his body language, leading me to distrust his intentions.

I eyed Reiji's medical supplies wearily. Couldn't he just lick the wound or drink from it, to heal it? Why did he need bandages and a suspicious looking liquid in a petri dish?

Not that I wanted him to drink my blood. My stomach twisted at the thought of him feeding from me again, a sense of guilt lancing through me as I remembered how, in the dungeon, at that time I had _wanted_ him to drink my blood.

I risked a glance upwards to Reiji's face. A fine tremor rippled across my skin as I met his waiting glare. As much as I wanted to forget the horrific pain he had inflicted on me, Reiji's harsh gaze, his voice, his entire presence, brought it all searing back no matter how hard I was trying to bury it away. I hated how much fear he was rousing in me. But all I could see, all I could _feel_ , in his presence was the excruciating strike of the whip. I remembered the look on his face as he tortured me, the excitement under his disciplined features. . . And then how he enjoyed making me beg for relief.

I fought back nausea and blinked my eyes shut for a moment, trying to push the memories aside, trying to regain my courage.

He suddenly reached out and grabbed my wrist, forcing a startled yelp from my lips.

"Truly, you have learned nothing." He arched a brow above his glasses, flickering me an irritated look of dismay, my hesitation to give him my arm taking too long. "You would save yourself the trouble if you would simply commit to obedience. . . Or do you desire another discipline session with me?"

My eyes widened, a moment of terror consuming me, and I shook my head vehemently.

He smirked at the instant fear he had evoked and I immediately felt humiliation and anger with myself for reacting so frightened. There was still part of me, a proud defiance, that wanted to retort, "I didn't exactly disobey Kanato and he tried to kill me anyway." But I was ashamed to notice that fear had frozen the words in my chest.

Perhaps Reiji had beaten the defiance out of me after all.

My shoulders sank at the thought. My agreement with Karlheinz hadn't included obedience. And my defiance, my pride, was one thing that was helping me keep it together. It was the one thing I didn't want to lose, the one thing that could keep them from breaking me.

But could I really withstand another round in the dungeon? How brave could I really be with Reiji using that against me, hanging that threat over my head?

Biting the inside of my lip and swallowing back tears, I sat still and allowed Reiji to clean the wound. I expected him to smirk or chuckle victoriously at my acquiescence and I prepared for the further humiliation that would cause. But he didn't. Instead, the tension returned to his face, his lips pressed tightly together as he worked.

The substance he used stung, and I resisted the urge to jerk away from him. But the sensation cooled, and as he placed a bandage on my arm, I realized that he didn't seem to have an ulterior agenda. I realized, too, that licking the wounds was probably beneath him.

My breath drew in sharply as he leaned in and wiped a cloth across the wound on my shoulder. I hadn't been expecting him to clean that injury as well, since I assumed it was already healing from Kanato.

Reiji's face was maybe a foot or less in front of mine, close enough that I could smell the clean spiciness of his scent, see the individual strands of his gray-purple hair hanging over the sides of his glasses. I gripped the armchair and shut my eyes. He was too close, making every muscle in my body tense.

I felt a bandage press over my shoulder and I timidly cracked open my eyelids. My insides knotted. Reiji was closer, his face directly in front of mine, his gaze falling to my neck. I trembled as his icy fingers reached for the bandana that I had tied around my neck to cover Ayato's vicious bite. Reiji inspected that wound as well, disinfecting it and bandaging it, even though I was certain it was already healing.

Holding nervously still, my lungs barely took in air at the continued invasion of my personal space. I expected that he would let me leave, now that he had bandaged all my wounds, but his fingertips found the other side of my neck, tracing the remnants of the cut he had drawn with his whip.

Reiji's eyes suddenly met mine, an odd look on his face. I felt a jump in my pulse when he narrowed his gaze and swallowed hard, the thirst unmistakable in his hardened features.

_Oh god._

I didn't know if I could handle him feeding from me, not now, not after I was just barely holding it together after Kanato's attack. I just wanted him to let me go, release me back to my room, let me be away from vampires, somewhere I could process the volatile events of the night.

But he didn't remove his hand from my neck. The chill of his fingers magnified as his gaze dropped from mine, roaming down to my chest, to my stomach and slowly back to my frightened face.

My pulse pounded and I felt as if I might faint. _Why is he looking at me like that?_

I wrapped my arms across my middle and gripped tightly to my elbows, defending myself against his searching eyes.

The air around him seemed charged with emotions I couldn't read, emotions that seemed to have been building the moment he closed us in this room. Anger was perhaps at the forefront, but my mind was at a loss to ascertain why. Maybe he was still furious over my disobedience toward him in the dungeon, my refusal to submit, though I still didn't quite understand what that had meant, what exactly he had wanted from me. I knew he expected obedience, but it seemed there was more to it than just that. 

To my astonishment, Reiji's hand suddenly abandoned my neck.

"Go," he said unexpectedly through gritted teeth, leaning back in his chair, allowing me access to the exit.

I let out a surprised breath, but didn't hesitate.

Propelling myself out of the seat, I forced my unsteady legs to support me. His behavior was baffling me and I wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of there.

But before I even made it halfway to the door, Reiji changed his mind.

"Stop," he commanded, the authority thick in his voice.

I froze, my back to him. The tone of that one word frightened me to the core, so much so that I couldn't have disobeyed his order if I wanted to. My mind screamed at me to run, but my body ignored it, as if Reiji had once again paralyzed me. But this time it was fear that held me down, not mind control.

The distinct sound of his glasses making contact with the table reached my ears, followed by his chair creaking as he stood. I didn't dare turn around, instead clamping my eyes shut as I felt him approach.

 _I should just run!_ The door was only a few feet in front of me.

But the bigger part of me knew that it was useless. He would catch me, and then probably punish me, take me back into the dungeon with great pleasure.

I swallowed heavily, feeling like a cornered animal. I just wanted, _needed_ , to be away from them, somewhere I could breathe without this goddamn fear.

Reiji's presence closed in behind me, his footsteps soft and slow. I felt the iciness of his imposing form as it stopped and stood close.

My own body turned frigid, my teeth nearly chattering from the cold silence hanging in the air. He wasn't touching me, but his aura was pressing on me like a powerful hand clutched around me, squeezing the oxygen from my lungs. I bit down harshly on my lower lip, holding back a scream.

Reiji's shirt rustled as his arm moved. All of my muscles tensed as his hand came around my front, my pulse hammering as he pulled my hair off my shoulder. The back of my head touched his chest and I let out a wavering, shaky breath as I felt him towering behind me.

For several moments he stood agonizingly still, stretching my torn nerves thin, shredding what was left of my courage. Fear claimed all my senses, the taste of it filling my mouth, the sound of it ringing in my ears. Yet all he did was stand behind me silently.

_Did the dungeon really have such an effect on me? That all Reiji has to do is stand and he can freeze me in fear? Has he already broken me and I just haven't realized it?_

No, no. I couldn't possibly believe that.

 _Then what do you want?!_ was what I desperately wanted to scream. _Why are you doing this?! Is it my blood?! Then just take it already!_

But just like my body, the words were paralyzed in my throat.

I swallowed back tears of shame as I realized that I was already beginning to accept that I was their food, and that agreeing to stay meant they would drink from me regularly, even if I refused to give it to them willingly. But in that moment, I just wanted him to get it over with, instead of suffocating me in this silent cage of fear.

I nearly breathed a sigh of relief as his hand bent my neck to the side and I felt him lean over me.

But the relief quickly turned to terror.

Reiji released a low growl, spinning me around and slamming me into his desk, sending papers and pens and various items flying to the floor.

A horrified scream burst out of me as my back hit the wood like a brick wall. The vampire held my arms by the wrists, crushing the rest of me with his weight.

Another growl escaped him as he bit roughly into my shoulder, his cold bite piercing me like a knife.

I writhed under him, panic and shock striking through me.

_He's never lost control like this!_

With a frustrated moan, Reiji wrenched out of my flesh, bringing his head over mine. My blood was smeared on his fangs, dripping from his lips. My heart stopped as I gaped at his predatory features, his eyes wild, his controlled facade gone.

My breath caught in my throat. There was something else written on his face too: an intense _male_ hunger pulsed in his eyes. He dove back into my veins, pressing his hips hard into mine, and I felt the hard ridge of that hunger between my legs.

"Reiji," I whimpered out his name in astonished terror. But my voice was only met with a lustful groan as he pressed his pelvis and his weight into me, heightening my awareness of just how fragile and helpless I was under him.

Regardless of how useless it was, I began twisting in his grasp, the shock of his actions giving way to dread and desperation. I had expected this from Laito or Ayato, but not Reiji.

"Let go! Let go of me!" I shrieked, panic finally allowing me to act. Blindly, I kicked upwards with all my strength, struggling with whatever I had.

With a muffled growl, Reiji pulled back, breathing heavily, his red eyes seething -- but not entirely at me. My sudden will to fight seemed to have rekindled his own. I saw the restraint beginning to return to his face, the battle for control raging through him.

"Let! Go!" I screamed one more time, terrified, but defiant.

For a horrifying second I thought my words would send him back into a predatory rage. Instead, he clawed a hand through his hair, and suddenly released me.

"Get out! Now!" he panted as he stood off the desk.

I didn't wait for him to tell me. My fingernails were already scraping the wood as I frantically pushed myself off, scrambling to my feet and running for the door.

Taking off down the hall, I didn't look back. An all-consuming fear clamped down hard on my chest and launched my legs foward. I did the only think I could think to do in a state of full-blown panic: I ran.

Rounding a corner into a living room, I nearly crashed into Subaru. He reached out, possibly to steady me, but I staggered away from him. Crying out as I fled the room, I caught a glimpse of Laito at a pool table, Shuu asleep on a couch.

"Oy! What the hell?!" Subaru called from behind me, but I ignored him, forcing my feet to pick up speed.

A doorway to the outside lay before me, perhaps a back door, one I'd never seen before. I didn't care where it led, I simply charged for it, desperate to get out of this house and as far away from vampires as possible.

The damp air filtered over my skin, pulling my hair out behind me. My bare feet barely registered the wet ground as I galloped off the concrete, heading towards the woods that surrounded the entire mansion.

The light of the moon, nearly full, was hidden by an eerie, ghostly layer of clouds. I discovered that it was raining, that sprinkles of water were mixing with the terrified tears falling down my face.

I thought I heard a voice somewhere far behind me, traces of words that I couldn't hear over the roaring in my ears and the pounding of my feet. The tree line seemed to come at me so slow, as if I were sprinting through sand. I begged my legs to go faster, pleading with them to take me away from that insane household.

Finally reaching the woods, I plunged myself into their coverage. Between the tears and the darkness I was running blind, and almost immediately I stumbled over a fallen log and careened headfirst into the soggy underbrush. I caught myself with my hands before my face hit the ground, and I pushed off, more fiercely than I believed I was capable of as adrenaline pumped through me.

Even under the trees, I felt horribly exposed, utterly helpless, knowing they would catch me at any second. But the desperation to get away, even for a few moments, was so overpowering that it spurred me on, despite the burning in my lungs and the aching in my legs. I didn't care where I went, as long as it was somewhere without _them_.

I couldn't have said how long I ran, or how I found the pathway. I only knew that, at some point, as the first wedge of dawn crept over the forest, I found myself on cleared ground, following a tunnel through the trees.

My feet were cut, scraped and bleeding, but I didn't know how they'd been injured. I hadn't stopped, hadn't even looked back as I ran. I had practically felt the vampires breathing down my neck, prickling the hairs, recklessly urging me on.

Wild with fear, I had moved forward as fast as my body would take me, focusing on staying upright, carefully yet quickly jumping over roots and in between trees, hoping the rain was covering my scent. I had been so convinced they were right behind me, that turning around would have given them the chance they needed to grab me.

So I just ran blindly, with no concern for where I was running to, when I realized I was on the path.

The sight of the church then surprised me.

The stone building loomed directly in front of me in the middle of the woods, taking my breath away with its sudden presence.

I dove off the pathway and into the trees, kneeling down in the underbrush.

I finally risked a glance behind me, the morning light faintly illuminating shadows in the rainy woods. But to my relief I saw nothing and no one.

I turned my attention back to the odd, misplaced structure.

_What the hell is a church doing on their land?_

The small, stone building seemed quite old, perhaps over a hundred years. Trying to steady my heavy breathing, I studied the surroundings for several minutes, searching for any signs of life. But the church rested quietly, darkened in a sheet of rain like an ancient tomb, devoid of noise or light or movement.

I gathered my wits and stumbled to my wounded feet. Stepping silently over dead leaves, I reached the rotting wooden door, pulling it open. The old, swollen wood stuck to the frame, creaking under the pressure, and the noise forced me to look over my shoulder, hoping it had not lured a vampire straight to me. My wide, searching eyes relaxed a fraction; all I heard was the sounds of pattering rain.

I turned, and stepped into the church.

Closing the door behind me, I stood stark still, letting my eyes adjust to the lack of light coming in from the cracked stained glass windows.

The sanctuary seemed to be the only room in the small, dilapidated building. Decaying, overturned pews littered the area, broken, as if someone had purposefully destroyed them. Dead flowers spread out over and around the alter, pieces of shattered glass mixed among the fallen petals.

But nothing moved. I was alone.

My back slid down the old wooden door until I sat on the floor, wet and shivering as I huddled my knees to my chest. My entire body trembled, my lungs still burning for breath as they shuddered, echoing in the empty sanctuary. Or maybe they were sobs filling the room. In my cold, frozen ears it was hard to tell.

Eventually, my breathing evened and I swiped at the tears streaking my face. But in the sudden quiet, my breath caught, my body stiffening. 

I had heard something, something quick, unrecognizable. A footstep, a twig snapping? I couldn't tell. 

Holding my breath, I listened intently over my pounding pulse.

_Shit! Where did it come from?_

I glanced around the sanctuary, then turned and peered through a small crack in the door's rotting wood. I almost expected the figure of a vampire to block the light, but only wet trees lay beyond.

Maybe I hadn't heard anything, or perhaps it was the lingering rain playing tricks on my ears.

After a long moment of hearing nothing, I breathed a little easier, turning back to curl deeper into myself, resting my forehead on my knees. Straining my ears for a few more minutes, I heard no other noises aside from drops of water hitting the ground.

Perhaps the rain was finished with its tricks, but my mind wasn't. As I shivered and hugged my knees, my mind began replaying Kanato's attack. . . his crazed, dark eyes. . . his insane laughter. . . the feeling of him jamming a fork in my flesh, holding it over his head as he intended to rip my chest open. . . Then the faces of all those girls, all his _dolls_. . . What had he done to them? What horrible fates had they suffered?. . . I shuddered as I realized I was probably wearing the pajamas of one of those girls at that very moment.

_If it weren't for Reiji I might already even be one of them._

_Reiji._

My mind tormented me further, giving me an encore of the sight of him losing his precious control, looming above me, his strength pressing me down, the feeling of his lust driving into my hips. . .

I shivered even more.

_Why had he lost control like that?_

Reiji had stopped his brothers from attacking me several times, even outright stopped Ayato from violating me at school. I feared Reiji -- absolutely -- but only because he had a capacity for unbridled cruelty. But never had I sensed that he wanted me or desired me like _that_. In fact, quite the opposite: I had thought he hated me.

_Was it my blood that influenced him, or something else?_

My blood did seem to be unusual, judging by their reactions to it. Was it just a matter of time then before they all lost control?

The questions burned into my mind and I lifted my head, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes, as if that could somehow make the answers clear. But all I had were more questions.

_. . .Then why had Reiji let me go?_

_Maybe he didn't want to lose control like that and he let me go before he went any further?_

That idea didn't ease the tension in my stomach. I had only been held captive a short time. The longer I stayed, Reiji would be sure to lose control again, of that I was certain.

 _Oh god. . ._  I leaned my head back gently against the door.

I wouldn't let myself be alone with him again, if I could at all help it. But could I avoid that possibility forever?

_Forever. . ._

_I can't think of forever, or I really will lose my mind. . ._

I rocked my head back and forth against the door, trying to clear the thoughts from my mind, but immediately regretted it. The knot on the back of my head snarled and sunk a migraine into my skull. Swallowing back a mouthful of nausea, I brought both my arms around my stomach.

_I can only just take it one day at a time, like I did with the illness. . ._

My illness seemed to be cured, a fact I hadn't really noticed or thought about since a different sickness seemed to now rule my life: Fear. A gut-wrenching fear that was an illness in its own right, invading my mind and body and spreading like a virus.

The disturbing thoughts only made my head pound harder behind my eyes.

Breathing deeply, I willed myself to clear my head, imploring the scent of rain and leaves and woods to encircle me, allowing all of it to chase away the thoughts roiling in my mind as I concentrated on inhaling and exhaling. Even the old, musty smell of the church seemed comforting in its own lonely, quiet way.

 _It's a small twist of irony that_ I _would find comfort_ here _,_ I thought with a sigh, the stiffness in my muscles gradually abating.

I could feel my eyelids getting heavy, as the shock and exhaustion from the night's events caught up to me. I knew the vampires would eventually find me here, but for the moment, I simply wanted to give in to the brief solace this place lent me.

And that was exactly what I did, closing my eyes and cradling my head between the door and its frame, coercing my mind into darkness and oblivion.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys... I have a shit ton of stuff going on in my life right now. I have a freaking cast on my arm and may have to have surgery, so updates may not be as often. I'm hoping that the story quality won't be affected, but if it starts to feel unfocused, you'll know why lol. As always, your comments and kudos make me incredibly happy and motivate me to keep writing. Thanks for all the support :-)
> 
> ************
> 
> Also, I wanted to note that the inspiration for the church actually being on the property was something I had thought was canon (since Yui is always at the church and Subaru always likes to destroy it). But it comes from Whorcrux's story, In the Shadows, which this story is inspired by. If you haven't read that, definitely give it a read; it's amazing :-)


	22. Reiji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't intending on ever publishing this chapter since it was something I did for my own entertainment. But since you guys asked for it in later chapters, I'm putting this here as a thank you to those who wanted more perspectives from the brothers. This one is from Reiji's POV. It's basically just chapter 21 written from his perspective. I hope you guys enjoy it :-)

* * *

 

 

My temper began seething the moment I walked in the house. Her scent was everywhere; she'd evidently been wandering the mansion, complicating my ability to maintain my composure.

As I walked through the rooms, inspecting where she'd been, an eruption of screaming reached my ears. Lifting my nose to the air, I caught a whiff of her blood along with Kanato's.

_Kanato's? Why on earth would I smell Kanato's blood?_

Closing my eyes for a moment, I concentrated on the source of the scent and teleported to it.

The sight before me positively _seared_  my veins with anger: My mentally deficient younger brother sat atop the girl, preparing to impale her with a _fork_.

My face shifted from surprised to furious in an instant. Grabbing his wrist with as much strength as I could muster, I yanked Kanato to his feet.

Like the absolute child that he was, he wailed and carried on about my interrupting his _fun_.

"I explicitly told you, that you were _not_  to pull this kind of ridiculousness!" I exclaimed through an increasing tightness in my jaw.

"I don't have to listen to you!" Kanato struggled against my hold and I loosened my grip, allowing him to pull his arm out of my grasp. I did not have the patience to endure his struggling like a toddler, and I knew he would not dream of harming the girl in my presence.

"You will obey our father's orders!" I glared at my smaller brother, my eyes burning with anger.

How dare he defy our father's direct orders not to kill her.

Father had never minded when we killed the previous brides; an important part of his experiments was to test whether the brides could survive long enough to awaken into their immortal lives. If they had, then Father certainly would not have tolerated their deaths.

But this girl . . she was different, the only one successfully born with immortality. Our father had been searching for her for years and would be livid if she were to die.

_She may be immortal, but that certainly doesn't mean she can't be killed._

From Kanato's behavior it assuredly seemed as if he were intent on taking her life in the same fashion as a vampire, most likely intending to make her into one of his repulsive _dolls_. And Kanato's outright _refusal_  to adhere to Father's request, when I had specifically reminded him before everyone else departed for school, only stoked the flames of my anger.

"Father will certainly hear of this," I said, with increasing hostility in my voice.

Kanato did not reply. He seemed to stiffen at the mention of our father, and my expression surely told him his misbehavior would not go unpunished. The younger vampire just stared up at me silently, breathing harshly through clenched teeth.

"Now, go clean up that mess at once," I bit out, pointing toward the front of the room where the shattered clutter of food and dinnerware lay strewn across the floor.

His lips drawn in a thin line, Kanato turned,  stomping away, his fists balled at his sides.

I would send a familiar to Father later to inform him of these misdeeds. For now, my attention turned to the girl. She lay prone on the floor, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she caught her breath.

She appeared as young as the former brides and by human standards she would be considered a woman. But to my kind she was quite young, still just a girl in my opinion, even if she was a mother to a human child.

Her wide eyes froze upon meeting mine and I heard her heartbeat skip amidst its already increased rate. I suppressed the urge to swallow as the dryness in the back of my throat magnifed at the sight of blood dripping from her injuries.

"Come with me," I said curtly, before skirting around her body, expecting her to follow without hesitation.

My anger was already flaring as my thirst for her grew.

Ever since I tasted the exquisite sweetness of her blood, I had been able to think of little else. No, ever since I first caught her _scent_ , I'd been enamoured by it.

But I had been able to keep control, not giving in to my animaliatic tendencies. I even enjoyed testing my strength against it. That is, until I had my first taste in the dungeon. Even I had to admit, her blood was addicting, a rush of power unlike any other.

However, the result was a frustrating difficulty to restrain my predatory side, a frustration I was coming to resent.

I stopped and turned as the girl had not yet risen off the floor to accompany me. Folding my arms across my chest, I shot her a warning glance. She seemed to be in shock, but she recovered herself and stood, gripping the wound which was draining down her arm. I gritted my teeth, resisting that intense smell while it filled my nostrils.

As I turned to lead her out of the room, the memory of the night she came to us flitted through my mind. I had first laid eyes on her as she stepped out of Father's car. A familiar had driven her to the front door, as Father had preferred to leave the property before any of my younger brothers caused a disturbance at his presence. Unlike other vampires, Father could teleport great distances. But he had wanted to be sure _this_  bride made it safely onto the property.

Our father was notoriously secretive about the brides and their different "attributes". But the tone of his voice had been just slightly different when he'd called earlier that night to announce her arrival. It wasn't just her age that I had sensed was different. Father had _personally_  brought her here, a most unusual conduct for him. It wasn't until later that evening that I learned Father had told _Shuu_ , of all people, her true nature.

I very nearly snarled aloud as I remembered the humiliation I felt as the good-for-nothing had relayed that information. Father had called me himself to announce her arrival, but he hadn't told me she was the one he'd been searching for all these years. He had entrusted _that_  information to my lazy elder brother.

Pushing open the door a little harder than I otherwise would have, I led the girl through the hallways to my study. Reflecting on the memory of her arrival was not helping me maintain composure.

I glanced back at her over my shoulder. She was looking down as she walked, still frightened from Kanato's attack, just as she was frightened the first time I saw her, as all bride's were. But unlike all the other brides, when she had first arrived, she had stood with a poise and maturity that had piqued my interest. From that very moment, I could certainly tell she was different.

But then she had run from me, an action that I had not expected, an action that had irritated me. An animal runs, not a lady. And I remembered thinking I would enjoy teaching her that lesson.

But even then, I sensed she hadn't run out of fear alone, like an animal would have. Something else had driven her. There was a bravery there, a defiance, a determination, that I hadn't seen in other brides. It was those qualities that drew me to her, even as they angered me.

Opening the door to my study, I commanded the girl to sit. If I intended to have her attend school the following evening, I wanted her to be injury-free. The last headache I needed was a teacher suspecting abuse, though I doubted any would report it. Most of the employees at the school were hand chosen by Father and sufficiently admired or feared him, or both, and wouldn't dare go against him. Nonetheless, I did not wish to take the risk.

I closed the door and gathered supplies, grimacing inwardly as her scent quickly filled the room, reminding me of how strongly that smell had affected me the first time it invaded my senses. It had been when she ran from me, taking off as the BMW drove away. I had easily grabbed her, angry at the stupid girl.

But when my hand tangled in her hair and I pulled her against me, that unbelievable, ravishing fragrance seemed to inhabit every cell in my body at once, sending a lust through me that I had never before experienced. It had taken all of my strength not to take her right then, blood and body. Subconsciously, I licked my lips at the memory.

Turning to the girl now in close quarters in my study, I saw she was still standing. I sensed her fear growing in response to being alone with me.

Despite giving her an angry look to incite her to sit, I nearly smiled. Her fear of me had increased exponentially since her _discipline_  session.

I felt my lust rekindling as the images of our time in the dungeon swam through my mind. She had struggled so diligently against her fear, against the pain, like no other human I had ever witnessed. It had been truly and utterly remarkable. I could tell, even now, the experience had changed her, although she hadn't yet submitted to my will.

She took a seat without another word from me and I sensed her tremble as I pulled my own chair in front of her. The girl feared me, but she still wasn't _ready_. She had quite a ways to go yet. Already this evening she had defied my orders twice -- not intentionally, as it had been the fear preventing her from acting immediately. But I was eager for the day when she would obey without hesitation.

_Or was I?_

As furious as she had made me with her obnoxious disobedience, a part of me was quite aroused by her defiance. It showed a strength that was most rare in the human species -- though, the more I learned of her, the more I suspected she wasn't _fully_ human. Regardless, her insubordination simply meant more opportunity for  _training_. I looked forward to teaching her the proper behavior for a bride.

Thinking fondly of possible future discipline sessions with her, I dipped cotton into an antiseptic potion I had created for injuries related to silver. I reached for the girl's arm. She yanked it back, obviously not trusting me, but I was ready for her to react. I grabbed her wrist and held it down, shooting her a disapproving look.

"Truly, you have learned nothing," I said, partially irritated, but mostly intrigued. "You would save yourself half the trouble if you would simply commit to obedience."

Even as I said those words, I knew she wouldn't head them. She needed far more _intensive_  training than mere words.

The girl looked as if she wanted to reply, but I fixed her with a pointed stare and she seemed to bite back her words. I chuckled lowly, the sound muffled as I kept my lips closed.

_Perhaps she has learned a little something._

I dabbed the cotton onto her wounded arm, the antiseptic cleaning the four small puncture marks in her delicate skin. My throat ached sharply as the smell of my potion mixed strongly with her sugary scent. A muscle in my jaw ticked as I suppressed the hunger grinding my insides.

I glanced at her face as I moved to clean the injury on her shoulder. A rumble of desire flickered in me. I knew the antiseptic potion was stinging her skin, but she showed no signs of distress. She was holding it back, pushing down the pain, _enduring_  it.

Just as she had endured my _special_  whip with such extraordinary fortitude.

That was the determination that struck me with a craving to possess her, to have her, to claim her. . . and hurt her until she begged for her mercy.

And then I would give it to her in the most pleasurable way possible, and in the end she would be mine. Her will would belong to me, to bend in any way I wished.

My fangs cut into my lower lip as I restrained myself, restrained the urge to take her right then, at that very moment.

 _She isn't ready,_  I reminded my disagreeable body, my frustration growing.

My fingers moved to the bandana the girl had tied around her neck. She visibly stiffened at the movement, watching me like a hawk.

 _But I'm the hawk, my dear_ , I couldn't help thinking wryly as I inspected a vicious bite wound on her neck.

My eyes narrowed at the injury. One of my unruly brothers had gotten carried away. The bite was healing but still quite gruesome. She was fortunate to be immortal, as that wound would have been deadly to an ordinary human.

Fitting a bandage on it, I noticed the _other_ healing wound on her neck. My fingers lingered down the line of it -- the mark the whip had made. Soon all traces of it would be gone. But the memory of it would live on. I was quite certain she would never forget.

The girl held her breath as my touch caressed the pain I had marked on her body. I could hear her heart hammering in her chest, pushing the lovely red liquid through her veins.

My eyes wandered down her small, frail body as I remembered how her form had shuddered under the pain. I bit back my predatory instincts as they reared forth, desiring the girl under me, shuddering once more against my power.

My fangs ground together in fury. Keeping control was getting more difficult the longer I stayed in her presence.

I had never been in this predicament before, never had a prey consume my thoughts and desires so strongly. It quite frankly made me immeasurably irritated that _prey_  could have this effect on me.

All at once, I wanted her out of my sight.

"Go," I suddenly said, my hands abandoning their soft touch on her neck. I could not stand her scent burning my throat, her nearness driving my desires for another moment.

She gaped at me wide-eyed, but didn't hesitate. She lept out of the chair and wordlessly hurried for the door.

A battle waged within me. If I sent her away now, what did that say about my own resolve?

"Stop," I commanded the girl before she could reach the door. I half-expected her to disobey once again.

But she didn't. She froze in her steps, the beating of her heart pounding in my ears.

 _I mustn't let my instincts control me,_  I told myself for the millionth time in my infinite lifespan.

I would never let _prey_  drag me into an animalistic state; never would I let an inferior species have that kind of power over me.

 _She_  certainly wouldn't have that power over me.

Setting my glasses on the table, I pinched the bridge of my nose. I closed my eyes for a moment as her scent continued to pervade my nostrils, making the room whirl around me.

Swallowing hard, I rose from my chair, the creaking of my movements blending harshly with her heartbeat.

The girl sensed my approach and her body went rigid, but she did not turn around. For that I was almost grateful. The fear that was surely in her eyes would likely send me over the edge; standing behind her was indeed like standing next to a great cliff. _I mustn't let her pull me over it._

My fists clenched as I looked down at her, so small and easily breakable. She trembled at my presence towering over her, the smell of her fear drifting fragrantly off her body. Involuntarily, I deeply breathed it in, the power of her scent absorbing into my lungs. It lulled me further into a predatory state and I could feel myself losing my grip.

 _No!_  I admonished myself, reaching into my depths for the strength to abstain.

But a voice in my mind rang loud: _It's what she's here for, isn't it? Why resist it? Why resist her?_

The ache of lust burned through me and I found myself reaching around the girl to pull her hair off her shoulder. She shivered pleasantly under my cool touch. The back of her head brushed into my chest and my breath stuck in my lungs, as did hers.

My body stiffened, and the room seemed to spin even faster. My hand moved as if on its own, bending her neck to the side.

I desired her, desperately. My fangs pulsed with need.

I expected her to run as I leaned in to bite. In fact, part of me wanted her to. The predator was taking over and it _needed_  to chase her, hunt her down, hurt her, hear her scream.

But she didn't.

She stood still, surprising me with her lack of defiance, her lack of a reaction, as if she accepted the fact that I would drink her blood.

 _Then I will make her react,_  I suddenly thought savagely, primitively.

I spun her around roughly, and before she could comprehend what was happening, I threw her onto my desk, scattering my belongings and slamming her back into the wood.

She gave me the scream I yearned for, her voice high and full of terror, reaching my ears and driving the predator into full mode.

Climbing on top of her, I held her down by her wrists as I drove my fangs into her shoulder, tearing her shirt and into her skin.

I ravaged the vein, the precious liquid flooding my mouth. The girl screamed again, writhing under me as the pain forged through her. I groaned in ecstacy at the sound, letting the power of her blood fill me, making me ache for more.

The girl whimpered, and I leaned back to take in the fear in her eyes.

"Reiji. . ." she whispered out my name in shock, a lovely feeling. I grinned with pleasure, uncaring that her blood dripped down my chin.

Greedily, I plunged back into her veins. Pressing my body into her, I squeezed her wrists, feeling her shake under me. The throbbing of her blood traveled from my mouth, along all my nerves, until it reached my groin, igniting a primal urge, and I pushed harder against her.

My arousal and the loss of my control seemed to spark something in her. I briefly caught the scent of her fear fading, and in the next instant she was struggling under me.

"Let go! Let go of me!" she shrieked out in a panicked, but angry voice.

I felt her legs kick beneath me, narrowly missing my groin.

With a muffled growl through my clenched teeth, I wrenched out of her skin and glared down at her. The girl stared back defiantly, her strong will clearly evident in her eyes, though there was still fear behind them.

"Let! Go!" She boldly shouted in my face.

Her audacity propelled a flash of rage through me. But it was a rage directed more at myself than her. Her jolt of outage rattled me, shaking me back to my senses. It sharply reminded me that this was not how I wanted her, not how I wanted _myself_.

Releasing my grasp, I stood back, thrusting a hand through my hair in fury. Barely leashed violence bled through my voice. "Get out! Now!"

She did not wait for me to tell her. Her small muscles were already pushing her body off the desk, and she flew out the door.

The predator in me wanted to chase after her, drag her back, drain her blood, and make her submit. But I strongly resisted it.

_I will not let it control me!_

Clutching my head in my hands, I forced my breathing to slow, forced the predator back into its slumber.

After a few long moments, the shaking in my nerves eased, the ragged breath in my lungs abating.

Lifting my head, I wiped the blood from my mouth, and smoothed my clothing.

I looked down at the shining, clean floorboards beneath my feet, my papers and pens scattered about, as if mocking my shattered control.

Never had I allowed my animal instincts to consume me in such a manner.

_And it will never happen again._

I glared at the door resolutely, as though the girl were standing there to hear my promise. Now that I understood the overwhelming extent of the power flowing through her veins, she would never have that influence over me again.

Instead, I would influence _her_ , and teach _her_  all about discipline and control. My mouth hardened into a determined, thin line.

_She will learn that her control, her will, belongs to me._

I may have partially enjoyed her defiance, but no longer. It was too dangerous.

_The next time I feed, she will give it to me willingly. And if I lust for her body, she will give me that as well._

_If not, I shall_ _relish the punishment she will receive._

I squared my shoulders and raised my chin, confident in my renewed determination.

But I was not stupid, either. I recognized that I would need a few days, at least, to be sure I had complete control over my faculties.

Sauntering to my extensive bookcase, I perused my textbooks thoughtfully. I was dismayed to notice my hands still shaking. Angrily, I clasped them together. Perhaps as I recovered from this disturbing episode, I would gather information about the girl, ascertain why she affected me so. Although she had previously stroked my interest, I had not bothered with intelligence gathering. I did not waste my time on such things with the human brides unless they were to survive the awakening process. Which, of course, none did.

But now, this inconceivable power in the girl's blood warranted investigation.

I rubbed my jaw contemplatively. After a moment, a small smile crept up my face, an idea forming in my mind. One of my brothers had excellent spying techniques and appreciated amassing information almost as much as I.

_I wonder if he would like to take a trip. . ._

Straightening my vest, I collected my glasses from the table and closed the study door behind me as I left the room. On a second thought, I reopened it, hoping her scent would be gone by the time I returned.

Despite a fury still brewing within me -- both at her and myself -- I felt optimistic about this prospective bride.

_Yes, I do believe this may be our most interesting one yet._

 

 


	23. In the Cat's Claws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter returns to Sayuri's POV as she awakens inside the church.

* * *

 

 

I awoke softly, my eyelids fluttering open, unfocused and blinking into the empty sanctuary.

Sitting in the same position as I had fallen asleep, I wondered how long I had been out, wondered why the vampires hadn't found me yet.

The light in the church was still dim. The pinks and blues and greens shining in from the broken stained glass windows looked exactly the same as they had when I first arrived, making it difficult to tell if I had slept five minutes or five hours.

Peering through the crack in the door, I saw that it was still raining, a slow, all day drizzle, coming down in light, dreary sheets against a sky the color of dead flesh.

Turning away from the door, I sighed into the quiet room, passing a hand over my face, gulping back a thickness in my throat.

_I can't stay here. . . I have to go back._

It occurred to me that if I stayed away any longer they might think I had tried to escape. Akio would be in danger if they believed that, and I couldn't let that happen.

I was also anxious to find Ayato, hoping he wasn't still furious with me, that he'd still be willing to arrange the meeting with his father, to provide proof that Karlheinz hadn't harmed Akio.

_Ayato. . ._

In an odd way Ayato had inadvertently given me strength, a small sliver of hope that had kept me from breaking after his father had forced me to stay. When he took me from the dungeon and brought me back to his room, I was certain he was going to force himself on me. And it was unquestionable in my mind that I would have completely snapped had he gone through with it.

But instead, he had utterly surprised me by _healing_ me. . . making me wonder if he was not as straight-forwardly evil as I had thought.

 _Even Laito. . ._  Although I was terrified of him, the horrifying memory of what happened to him as a child had me wondering if he was truly evil too.

Those questions had given me some fragment of a foolish hope that I could appeal to them, somehow gain their sympathy, and maybe, just _maybe_ , avoid another sexual attack.

But after Reiji. . . that hope was crumbling.

It was inevitable, I knew: they would use my body in any way they wished. They could do whatever they wanted, as long as they didn't kill me. I had been all too aware of that when I had made the agreement with Karlheinz.

I wove both hands through my hair and bit back a swell of tears. I didn't know how much longer I could endure this, how I could possibly keep surviving this. I hated the constant threat of assault. I hated their cruelty. But most of all, I hated how frightened they made me, like a wild-eyed, cornered animal, like prey surrounded by predators with no escape.

How could I possibly go back to all of that? How could I deliberately walk back into that den of vampires?

_Because I have to protect my son._

The only thing more frightening than returning to that house, was the thought of _Akio_  being brought to that house.

I closed my eyes and grit my teeth.

_I have to find a way to survive, for him._

The thought of surviving strangely brought back a memory of Akio.

A few months or so earlier, the neighbor's cat had killed a mother rabbit in our backyard. We knew the mother had dug a burrow nearby, and we had been observing them with delight from a distance. When we found the dead mother, Akio was understandably devastated.

"What will happen to the babies now?" he had cried as I attempted to comfort him.

"We'll take them to a wildlife worker, where they will know how to raise them," I said, grabbing a box and an old baby blanket of Akio's. I had hugged him and whispered, "You know, the mother probably saved her babies. Mother rabbits will often run far from their burrow to draw predators like cats away."

That seemed to be a small consolation, knowing the mother had loved her babies enough to die for them. In a sadly morbid way, it had helped dry his tears.

Despite barely being able to get out of bed that morning, I forced my legs to carry me outside.

As Akio watched me carefully gather the three tiny rabbits from their rabbit hole, he asked, "Can we keep them when they grow up?"

"No, honey, we can't," I said. "These kinds of rabbits aren't pets. They belong in the wild. The wildlife workers will return them to the forest when they're old enough."

Akio had begun crying again. "But who will feed them? Who will protect them from the cats?"

My heart melted at his concern for the little creatures, but I knew I couldn't hide the facts of nature from him.

"They will be able to find their own food. And they might become food for other animals, yes. That's how the circle of life works. But rabbits also have great abilities that help them survive predators. So these babies might grow up to be great survivors and then have babies of their own that become great survivors."

Akio seemed to consider this information for a while as we drove the rabbits to the wildlife veterinarian. "What about us, Mommy? Do we survive too?"

I had smiled, watching him in the rear view mirror as his little brain was trying to work things out. "No, we aren't like animals," I said. "We think and reason differently. And because of that, we can do more with our lives than just surviving."

_. . . Just. . . surviving._

I wondered what I would tell Akio now, as I sat shivering in the lonely church.

My body was marred with multiple attack wounds, my clothes damp and dirty from running through the woods, my heart still pounding as I hid from my _own_  predators. I felt as if I were a rabbit myself, always scared, always hunted. I had even ran from the mansion like a fevered, panicked animal, allowing terror to chase me from the house, letting it consume me until I was running blind with it. My reasoning and thinking abilities had turned to fear, turned to _just surviving,_  like an animal.

Like _prey_.

Suddenly I was overcome with emotion. Shame and anger and self-pity twisted around my chest, tightening in my throat and rising up to sting my eyes. I was upset at the vampires for forcing me into this situation, yes, but I was also furious with myself for allowing them to reduce me to such a state.

I had always considered myself a strong person, maybe even to a fault, and I had never let anything or anyone beat me down. Even when I had gotten sick, even when my husband had _left me_  because of that sickness, I didn't allow myself to fall apart. I knew my circumstances now would test even the strongest of people, and that, in fact, I had every right to fall apart. Any normal person would.

But that didn't change the fact that I hated how weak and scared I felt.

Grinding my teeth together, I forced myself to stand, forced myself to be brave despite the shaking in my knees and the pain in my injured feet.

_I can do this. I have to._

I gulped hard, shoving the fear deep into the pit of my stomach. I resolved to return to mansion and find a way to keep surviving, to keep my son safe.

I couldn't help wondering if this was how the mother rabbit had felt when she drew the cat away from her burrow, willingly sacrificing herself as bait to save her babies.

 _Except in my case, the cats are keeping me as a meal they can feed on anytime they want,_  I thought angrily.

I reached for the door, ready to face my fate. But before I could even grab the handle, a force out of nowhere drove into my back.

The fear that I had just pushed away instantly shot through me again, forcing a terrified scream from my lungs.

But an icy hand snapped over my mouth, blocking the sound as an arm locked around my waist.

Adrenaline and terror coursed through my muscles as I fought against my attacker, kicking behind me, my arms flailing.

He rammed me into the wall, my face pressed into the cold stone, my cries muted by his hand. His body pressed against my back, covering my small frame, crushing me with his weight.

I tried wildly to push back, my hands flattening on the stone, bracing against it. But I couldn't move. I screamed in my throat, panic taking over.

"Shut up!" came a rough whisper into my hair, the harsh voice rippling down my spine. "He'll hear you!"

The shock of his words slowed my struggling, my petrified mind trying desperately to comprehend what was going on.

"Biiitch-chaaan," I heard a distinct voice call in the distance, the sound raising the hair on my arms.

Breathing in short gasps through my nose, I stayed still, straining to listen over my pounding pulse.

Whoever had me pinned didn't speak again and I assumed he was listening too.

Laito called out once more, closer this time. "Bitch-chan, come out and play~," he sang cheerily.

Despite my resolve to fight the fear, I couldn't suppress a shudder. The memory of Laito as a child hadn't changed the effect the sound of his voice had on me; it hadn't erased what he'd done to me, what I feared he might _still_  do to me.

"Just stay quiet," the voice that held me whispered, so softly I almost couldn't hear it. But I was certain Laito would be able to hear my heart galloping beneath my ribs.

"Subaru-kun, are you in there?" Laito asked loudly, his voice carrying from outside the church.

"Yeah!" the vampire behind me answered back. "She's not here. Looks like she left a little while ago. Check the path behind the building!"

A sense of bewilderment seized me.

_Subaru?! What the hell is going on? Why is he doing this?_

"Ah~alright," Laito called back lightly, sounding more amused than usual, and I just barely heard his footsteps on the soft, wet ground outside.

Subaru silently held me for a few more minutes, his body pressing firmly into my back while my mind raced. 

_Is he protecting me? From Laito?_

_No, he probably just wants me to himself,_  I thought bitterly, remembering what had happened last time I assumed Subaru was helping me. He had held me down in the infirmary and threatened to crush my heart inside my chest.

Because of that, I refused to trust that any of these vampires did anything outside their own self interests.

_But why the hell is he holding me like this?!_

My body ached between the cold stone in front of me and the cold form of the vampire behind me. I shivered under both.

Finally Subaru's grip loosened. "I think he's gone. Fucking hard to tell in this rain," he said, his voice low as he turned me around.

Trying to shove away the fear pounding through me, I stared up at him, his height dominating my own by at least a head.

He locked an arm on either side of my shoulders, crowding me against the wall, his eyes on me like a hawk on a prey.

 _Prey_.

My pride bristled, and I threw Subaru a look of disgust as I ducked down, trying to slide under his arm.

But he blocked me, lowering his hand in my path.

"Still trying to run away?" he sneered.

I straightened and held my chin defiantly, my eyes steely blue slits. "I _wasn't_ running away. No one said I couldn't leave the house. And this church is still on your land, isn't it?"

Subaru tilted his head, a single layer of white hair covering one eye. He squinted, and I thought I caught a flicker of annoyance on his face as his gaze roved over my bandages and the blood stains on my tank top from Reiji's attack. "Well, it sure looked like you were running away to me."

"No," I snapped back, "I just needed a _break_  from you and your brothers. I was getting ready to head back to the mansion when you _slammed_ me against the wall."

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said sarcastically, glowering down at me. "I was covering your _scent_. Would you have rather Laito found you?"

 _Covering my scent?_  I blinked at him, my forehead wrinkling in confusion. Curiosity getting the better of me, I asked, "Why did you do that?"

" _Why?_ " He repeated the simple word as if he couldn't believe I'd asked it. He grabbed my arm, pulling me off the wall and into his chest. "Because you're mine, that's why. I followed you here, you're mine to play with."

Narrowing my eyes, I twisted my arm in his grip, anger beginning to roll off me in thick waves. 

 _I was right! He wasn't really protecting me!_  

But then I comprehended the rest of his words. "Wait, you _followed_ me here? Does that mean you've been here the entire time?"

Subaru chuckled huskily. "You didn't really think I'd let you just run off, did you?"

_So it was him I heard earlier! The asshole seems to enjoy watching me run through the woods!_

Through a sudden surge of will, I shoved Subaru.

He let go of me in surprise and fell backwards, his legs knocking into an overturned pew.

He caught himself from falling, but kicked behind him angrily, demolishing the wood into pieces and spitting out a string of curses.

I flinched and took an involuntary step back, stumbling at the pain still in my injured feet.

"Just as I was being kind, you fucking shove me," he snarled. "Well, I won't be anymore."

His eyes stormed with anger as he advanced on me. And I couldn't help myself -- I darted to the door, even though I knew it was useless.

The vampire was on me in a flash, spinning me around and slamming me into the wood.

I winced as the impact renewed the lump on the back of my head. Blinking through the searing in my skull, my eyes were met with Subaru's angry visage. I tried to swallow, but his forearm lanced across my throat, pressing me against the door, cutting off my air supply.

"Let's get one thing straight," he hissed, the red in his irises burning into me. "You will be obedient, no matter what happens. Do you understand?"

 _I never fucking agreed to that!_  

My lips curled in revulsion, my fingernails digging fiercely into his arm. I  _hated_ them telling me to obey. It pissed me off more than anything else, made me feel as if I were nothing but an inferior being, reinforcing my status as their pet, their _prey_.

But Subaru wasn't pleased with my defiant expression. He pressed harder on my neck for emphasis, his face hard-edged in front of mine.

"Hah?! You listening?" he barked. "And you will not run away again, got it? Or this will be you."

He hurled his fist through the door, shattering the wood beside my head. My face instinctively cowered shut as the pieces fell around me.

Subaru dropped his arm from my neck, and I bent over, breathing in a harsh gasp, clutching my throat with both hands.

"I told you. . . I wasn't. . . running away," I whispered tersely in between gulps of air. I rose back to full height, fixing him with a level stare.

He snatched my arm in a paralyzing grip. "No?" he snapped out, obviously not believing me.

"I wouldn't do that. . . not after what your. . .  _father. . ._  threatened to do," I said louder, intending to throw the words in his face, but instead my voice cracked with emotion, the memory of Karlheinz still raw and bleeding in my mind, no matter how forceful I had been trying to push it away.

But at the mention of his father, a darkness flared across Subaru's face, his features transforming from furious to something almost pained.

His grip on my arm relaxed and I pulled away from him, my skin tingling where he had numbed the flesh. I rubbed at it softly, watching as an unexpected range of emotions flickered in the vampire's eyes. His expression became littered with a mixture of torment and anguish, venom and rage. In that look, I felt almost as if my own volatile emotions towards his father were being reflected back at me.

His voice became fractured with its own edge of distress. "You’re in this situation. . . because of _him. . . that bastard. . ._  just like. . . Her." 

I blinked uncertainly at him. _Her?_  

I wanted to ask who he meant, but the agony etched on his face froze the question in my mouth.

 _That bastard. . . his father. What had he done to Subaru?_ I bit my lip and swallowed heavily.  _What had Karlheinz done to someone Subaru apparently cared for?_

My anger ebbed, giving way to confusion and oddly, concern. Whether it was concern for Subaru, or the thought of what his father was capable of doing to someone _I_  cared for, I didn't know. Maybe it was both.

But then an ache coiled in my chest. _That means they_  are  _capable of caring for others_ , I realized. 

I couldn't have said why that realization seemed make my chest even tighter.

The pained look didn't linger on Subaru's face. His gaze cleared as he appeared to bury the emotion away, his features turning hard and rigid. 

He let out a low breath and shifted away from me.

For a moment I thought perhaps he was going to leave, until he turned back and grabbed me by the waist. I startled in surprise when at the the same time, a disembodied voice sounded through the church.

"Aw, Subaru-kun, you were hiding the prize,~" Laito chortled as he materialized in front of us.

Subaru seemed to have sensed him coming. He held onto me with a protectiveness that shocked me. "You're wrong," he bit out sharply. "I simply didn’t want anyone getting in the way of my meal." 

" _Your_ meal?" Laito's eyebrows raised in mock confusion, his gaze rounding on me. He smiled slyly before taking a step in my direction. "As I reminded Ayato-kun, _this_  bitch-chan belongs to all of us."

Subaru's arm slid off my waist as he moved in front of me, blocking Laito. "Right now, she's _my_  food," he hissed.

I pursed my lips at being called food, but didn't dare say anything. I quietly observed the interaction unfolding before me with wide, uncertain eyes and with my heart in my throat.

Laito giggled and shrugged his shoulders. "My, my aren't you being the _possessive_ one. There's no _shame_ in sharing, you know." Laito peered around Subaru's shoulder, his gaze snaking down my body. "I could take the bottom half, and you the top? I _do~_ want to taste those thighs _again_."

I swallowed against a heavy rise of bile in my mouth. I had no memory of his fangs on my legs, and I shuddered to think of what he'd done to me while I was unconscious.

Yet, despite the ripples of fear and revulsion climbing through my veins, I couldn't help studying Laito with new eyes, now that I understood the dark secrets of his past.

But in the few seconds he stared at me, it was impossible to see anything other than the gleeful, almost sparkling cruelty in his emerald gaze. Something in my chest squeezed as I realized that his upbringing had twisted everything within him.

"Who would want to share with you, pervert?" Subaru growled and gave Laito a quick, one-handed shove.

The redhead stumbled backwards, chuckling. He seemed to take as much pleasure in taunting his brothers as he did me.

Subaru turned from Laito, his face contracted in a scowl.

I cried out sharply as he unexpectedly hauled me up. The room tilted as I found myself upside down, blinking at the floor; he had thrown me over his shoulder. My face and arms fell against his back as humiliation colored my cheeks. I hated being carried like a sack of meat, but I was too frightened of being left behind with Laito to protest.

Subaru kicked open the door, shattering another hole through the wood. Without a second glance at his laughing brother, Subaru took off into a run with a sudden speed and fluidity that humans could never possess.

The trees whisked by so quickly that they blurred together, forming one long line of green as my hair whipped around me.

My thoughts ran through my mind just as fast, but far less smooth and fluid. They jumbled and tangled amongst each other until I didn't know what to think or feel. A persistent, creeping sympathy for Laito mixed with my fear of him, combining with a gratefulness to Subaru for protecting me from him. Adding to that blend of emotions was a sense of just how physically small and helpless I was against the vampires. They could have "shared" me, and I couldn't have done anything to stop them. 

Even now, Subaru carried me easily, as if I weighed nothing at all. I felt the restrained power in his grasp, the inhuman strength in his body and in the speed with which he ran.

I had nothing against them, no strength, no speed, no power, and bit by bit they were taking my courage too, making me feel strangled and powerless. It seemed as if it had only been a short moment after I had woken up in the church that I had felt brave, where I had recovered some of that courage. I swallowed hard, remembering how quickly and easily Subaru had taken that away, simply by thrusting his power over me, slamming me against the wall.

But then. . . he hadn't done that to scare me or intimidate me or bend me to his will. Even if it was for his own selfish reasons, he  _had_ done it to protect me. In fact, the fear had almost dissipated completely when I discovered it was him behind me. Even when he had gotten furious and held his arm against my throat, I hadn't truly been afraid.

I shivered, unsure of what that meant.

All too soon the woods cleared, and Subaru was opening the back door to the mansion.

I felt my bravery wavering even further away as we crossed the threshold. The air outdoors, though wet and dreary, had been freeing in many ways. It had made it seem more difficult to believe that I was imprisoned here. But as the door shut behind Subaru, the atmosphere became leaden and dense, the walls closing in around me, the mansion becoming my cage once again.

As tears began to seep from the edges of my eyes, I clamped my teeth together and told myself to stay strong. I may have felt as fragile as the rabbit gripped in the cat's claws, but I reminded myself of what I had told Akio: that the mother rabbit had saved her babies.

_And now. . . I'm saving mine._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates are still gonna be slow. I can only type with my left hand and it's not easy. I'm not sure how much longer I'll be one-handed but it's gonna be a while at least O_O. 
> 
> I do hope you all are still enjoying the story. Please leave a kudos or a comment if you are (because they make me really happy :P)
> 
> ******************
> 
> One more note: This chapter is inspired by a scene from Subaru's route on the first game. When Yui is in the church, he hears Laito coming for her and covers her scent from him.  
> You can find that scene here: [Subaru's Route](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2014/01/22/diabolik-lovers-sakamaki-subaru-2/)


	24. Unwilling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Subaru takes Sayuri back to his room and won't let her go.

 

 

"You can put me down now," I said, but Subaru ignored me as he blurred through the house at vampire speed.

Within seconds, he was closing another door and I barely had time to glimpse the surroundings when I heard him kick something. The sound of hinges creaked, and I found myself being slung off his shoulder and thrown into something on the floor.

My eyes spread open wide when I realized what it was: A coffin.

"What the hell?!" I gasped.

I immediately sat up, attempting to jump out. But Subaru was too fast. He had already tossed off his wet jacket and was climbing in next to me, his hand above my breasts, shoving against my sternum, pressing me back down.

"What the hell are you're doing?!" I shrieked. 

The vampire chuckled as he brought the lid closed and secured us in complete darkness. "Hehe, I'm going to sleep. What do you think I'm doing?"

I could scarcely breathe, the feeling of claustrophobia making it hard to gather any air. The coffin was much smaller than Ayato's iron maiden.

_Jesus, don't any of them sleep somewhere normal, like a bed?!_

"Please take me back to my room," I whispered as steadily as I could, struggling around the fear that was turning my insides into knots.

But Subaru only laughed, grabbing my waist and turning me on my side, pulling my back against his chest. "You need to move over a little." His breath husked across my skin, raising goosebumps in its wake.

"Look, I'm serious," I said, feeling a lump catch in my throat as he slid an arm under my head. "I'm wet and I'm freezing from the rain. I. . . I need to go back to my room."

Being in such a small space with him began to panic me, making me want to thrash and struggle. I tried to sit up and lift the lid. But Subaru pulled me back down, hugging me firmly with one arm around my neck, the other around my waist, wedging me against his body in the narrow coffin.

"You're not going anywhere," he breathed, inhaling as he buried his face into my hair. "Hmm, you smell as outrageous as ever. . ."

Without warning, he nipped at the back of my neck, and I felt a sting and a pull as he began to drink my blood.

The bite was considerably more gentle than any of the others I'd experienced, but it still took me by surprise. I instinctively tried to pull away, but with a rumbling groan that sent my heart into my throat, Subaru clung to me tighter, rubbing his body against mine as he drank even more.

The intimacy of his actions suddenly overwhelmed me, and I couldn't hold back the tears in my eyes. Reiji's attack was still fresh in my mind, and I didn't think I could bear yet another vampire's lust. Although I knew _exactly_ what I'd be returning to when I came back to this house, I hadn't expected it to be so soon -- or from Subaru. 

Subaru may have been violent, had chained me in a torture chamber, threatened to break my spirit, threatened my life. . . but he still didn't frighten me as much as the others. I couldn't help feeling there was something different about him. Subaru's eyes were always burning with intense anger, but they didn't have the same depth of cruelty that I'd seen in his brothers.

But, I wondered now, with Subaru's hands wandering on me, his body pressed against mine, breathing deeply in pleasure as he took my blood, if I was just fooling myself, trying to give myself a false sense of hope in a hopeless situation.

"Please. . . let me go." My voice slipped out unintentionally, sounding small and hollow as that hopelessness sunk through me.

Subaru lifted his mouth from my flesh, his breath cool against the wetness he left behind on my skin. "You're not going anywhere. So stop fucking asking. Just be quiet and let me do what I want."

My bottom lip tightened with disgust. I knew that was what his intentions were, what probably _all_  the brothers' intentions were, but hearing it spoken aloud slammed anger through my veins like a hammer.

And with that anger something flashed inside of me, a decision I wasn't wholly conscious of making, or maybe it was simply something that was always there: A determination not to let them make me completely powerless.

Even if I could never win, even if it was useless, even if it made things more difficult for me, I wouldn't give up my will to fight, my defiance.

And I sure as hell wasn't giving up my body without a fight.

Gathering what little strength I had, I rammed my elbow backwards into his stomach, kicking my legs behind me.

But to my utter disappointment, the effort was feeble in the confined space, the effects of his bite weakening me, as if I were an insect already wrapped in a spider's web.

"Damn it! Stop struggling! You're not going back to your fucking room!" Subaru snarled, gripping me tighter and crushing my legs as he practically laid on top of me.

"Get off me! Let me out of here!" I cried.

"Fuck! Calm down!" Subaru nearly shouted, the sound magnified in the coffin. "What do you think the others will do if they find you in your room, after they've been out in the rain all morning looking for you? Hah?!"

His voice rumbled through me and in spite of my fury, I flinched.

"Can't you just tell them you found me? Besides, Laito knows!" I squirmed, finding it hard to catch my breath with his weight on me.

"They'll be pissed either way!" Subaru growled.

I managed to draw in enough air to voice the only thing that concerned me. "But what about _you_? How do I know I'm any better off in here with you?"

"Tch," he sighed and his chest expanded against my spine as he inhaled a deep breath. His grip around me relaxed, the tension in his body fading as quickly as it had sparked. "I told you, I'm going to sleep. We have school in a few hours."

 _Bullshit,_  I thought angrily, yet a timid surprise still buzzed through me. I refused to trust him, but I forced my body to still itself, more to test him and his motives than to obey him.

After a moment, he moved his weight off me and seemed to shift to get comfortable. A quiet silence hung in the stifled air as I waited for his next move, almost certain he would drink my blood again, or worse. His arms were still around me and his face was back in my hair, but he didn't move or attempt to touch me any further.

I blinked into the darkness as confusion swirled in a thick fog around me. Was he toying with me? Waiting for me to let my guard down? I was unwilling to relax, unwilling to believe that he had anything other than selfish intentions.

I was also unwilling to admit there was a part of me that still wanted to hope that Subaru really _was_  protecting me from his brothers.

Trying to push that unnerving feeling away, I felt my eyelids begin to get heavier, the effects of the vampire bite coursing through my body. But the anxiety over everything that had happened was still slithering through my mind, preventing me from even thinking about sleeping.

_Sleep._

_Oh no! I can't sleep next sleep next to him!_

It suddenly occurred to me that a shared memory with Subaru was possible. It had only happened with Ayato, but I suspected that it might happen with any of them. "Can I at least sleep on the floor or on one of your chairs?" I asked urgently.

Subaru yawned, his breath blowing a few strands of my hair. "One of my brothers could still steal you while I'm sleeping if you do that."

 _Steal me?_  I couldn't stop my eyes from rolling. _He makes me sound like a possession._

_Well. . . I guess that's what I am to them._

"Please, I'll take the risk." Though, I did wonder if I would really rather risk one of the others attacking me versus sharing a memory with Subaru.

But the truth was, I didn't _want_  to know anything more about _any_  of them.

The more I learned of their pasts, the more it humanized them in my eyes, making me feel something other than anger towards them. They were the enemy, my captors, the ones who had ripped my life away. I didn't want to see them as anything but monsters. It was easier to accept the situation that way, easier to survive that way.

"No. Damn it, just relax. You're staying in here," the vampire said forcefully, clearly aggravated.

"Subaru, please. You really don't want to sleep next to me," I whispered, a plea laced in my tone.

"Just fucking shut up about it," he growled. "Didn't I tell you to just obey?"

That hated word again: _obey_. My hands curled into tight fists, my fingernails biting into my palms.

But I bit down on my own temper, resisting the urge to tell him off. What more could I do or say? I couldn't divulge to Subaru the memories between Ayato and I, without giving away something hidden from Ayato's and Laito's childhoods. They may have been monsters, but some part of me understood that they weren't just soulless vampires; they were creatures that had been deeply hurt. And that part of me couldn't reveal to Subaru what wasn't mine to share.

I stared into the stifling darkness, debating what to do.

 _Well. . .,_  I sighed to myself, _if he's not going to let me out, then I'll just have to stay awake._

That wouldn't be difficult. Even though my body was gritty and achy, my heart still raced in vital awareness that a vampire was wrapped around me, and that I could feel every inch of his body against mine.

Letting out a long breath, I tried not to concentrate on the feel of a strong predator curved around me. Instead, I ruthlessly shook my mind, focusing on my questions. The one bothering me the most immediately boiled to the surface: Why was Subaru protecting me? Twice he'd blocked me from Laito, and now he was shielding me from the wrath of the others.

_Why?_

I bit the insides of my cheeks, troubled that I was once again grateful to Subaru. As much as I wanted to see the brothers as nothing more than monsters, some small wisp in the back of my mind couldn't help feeling relieved and almost hopeful that maybe not all of them were. In fact, it almost felt. . .  _good. . ._  to be held in a set of arms that didn't seem to want to hurt me. Even if he _had_ drank my blood, it hadn't really been painful and in fact, I was still feeling the pleasant warmth of the aftereffects.

I cringed at that disturbing thought, berating my own mind for such a betrayal. I forced myself to remember how Subaru shackled me in a torture chamber until my wrists were torn and bleeding.

There was nothing good about my imprisonment, and nothing good about any of them.

_But he had cared for someone. Someone in this same situation. . ._

No. Disgust and frustration with myself brewed in my chest. I shut my mind down, suddenly hating my over-analytical brain that was always questioning everything. I refused to think anymore.

But my confusion only deepened as I soon found that Subaru was true to his word. His breathing slowed and the tension in his body eased, his arms going limp around me.

To my annoyance, Subaru's soft breathing was almost soothing in a rhythmic way, and before long, I felt my own tiny body heave a weary shudder of intense, consuming exhaustion.

 _Don't fall asleep!_  I shouted at myself. I took a deep breath. _Stay awake! Do NOT fall asleep!_  I breathed out slowly, determinedly.

I couldn't let my guard down. Perhaps Subaru had some other reason for his actions, perhaps to gain my trust, play games with it and then use it to break me when I least expected it. I certainly didn't need to fall asleep and share a memory which would only make me feel things I didn't want to feel.

 _Stay awake. . . stay awake._  I batted my eyes frantically, refusing to surrender to the incredible drowsiness.

But, like the vampires, I couldn't fight it and win. The darkness eventually took over, pulling me under its warmth and tucking me into an unwilling slumber.

 

* * *

 

_I warned him, but he didn't listen._

_He never did._

_He was late. Again. I had given him an ultimatum: If he continued to put work before family, he wouldn't have a family to come home to._

_Pain graded beneath my chest, my heart feeling as if it were being wrenched in two. As furious as I was, as abandoned as I felt, I knew I didn't truly have it in me to pack my bags and leave._

_I dialed his number, again._ One more chance, that's it, _I resolutely told myself._

_Surprisingly, he picked up. I sucked in a long breath, preparing an even longer speech. But before I could get out a single word, Sadao stopped me cold in my tracks._

_"I'm not coming home," he said matter-of-factly, almost mechanically._

_I blinked dazedly into the living room, not even recognizing Akio as he stepped out of his bedroom and stared at me uncertainly._

_Sadao didn't wait for me to reply, but I was too stunned to speak anyway. "You were right. I can't be there when you need me. I can't handle it anymore, Sayuri. I just can't. You're better off without me."_

_His words settled cold and hard inside of me._

_"Better off without you?" I whispered after a long moment of awkward, brutal silence on the line. "Better off without you?!" That time I shouted it as an overwhelming wave of resentment washed over me. "Don't you mean,_ YOU  _are_ _better off without_ ME _?! Just say it, Sadao! At least say what you mean! You don't want to take care of a sick wife!"_

 _Tears filled my voice, swimming in my vision._ He's leaving me?!

_I felt as if I'd been kicked in the teeth. How could I have even thought for one second about giving him another chance? In the past two years he'd all but deserted me, leaving me to wither away alone while I was barely able to take care of myself, much less our child._

_It was in that moment that I understood: He had already left me a long time ago._

_"Sayuri. . ." Sadao started, but I cut him off._

_"No, Sadao," I said bitterly, slinging out his name like a curse. "_ You _come home. You work very hard to pay for this house. But you don't_ PAY  _for your family._ THAT _you have to earn. And if you ever decide you want to do that, Akio and I will be at my mother's."_

_I hung up the phone and slammed it on the coffee table before collapsing to the floor in sobs. I didn't even comprehend that Akio was standing there until he had his arms around me, crying into my shoulder._

_"Oh, Akio. . ." My voice choked with the realization that he had heard everything. "I'm so sorry, honey."_

_My arms slid around him and pulled him into my lap, just holding him tight, as if he'd disappear the same way my marriage had._

_I didn't bother packing. I was physically and emotionally too exhausted. Gathering my keys and lacing my fingers in Akio's hand, we walked out of our house for the last time._

_Although I was mentally keeping myself together, all at once my body simply couldn't take the strain. I began losing feeling in my limbs, my vision blackening._

No! I can't faint now!

_But my feet gave out and the sky turned upside down. As complete darkness took over my field of vision, I heard Akio crying for me._

No!

 _I desperately opened and closed my eyes, willing my sight to return to me._ S _truggling within my own body, I pleaded with it to do as I commanded._ Come on! Wake up!

_The world seemed to hear me as it fell back into focus._

_But panic seeped into my veins when it wasn't the sky that came into view. Instead, my eyes met Akio's as he stood crying outside the Sakamaki's dungeon, his hands wrapped around the bars, his tear-streaked face pressed against the iron._

_I felt the color drain from my face._ No! Akio can't be here! Why is he here?!

_Gasping in shock, I desperately sprung to my feet and tried to run to my son. But I was quickly stopped when a sharp pain bit into my wrists. Horror climbed up my spine when I found my arms chained to the wall._

_"No!" I screamed._

This can't be happening! No!

_Frantically my eyes darted to the rest of my body. I couldn't choke down another scream building inside of me. My chest was covered in crimson, the blood draining down an unfamiliar, long white dress from a deep wound above my breast._

_I stumbled backwards, my back hitting the wall, my body nearly convulsing in terror._

_"Mother!" Akio cried._

_But I could only stare at him in utter disbelief, any thoughts I might've had or words I might've spoken were erased by fear._

_"Son."_

_A voice called down the underground walkway as footsteps aproached._

_The impact of Sadao's form as he appeared in view and stepped beside Akio, hit me like a bucket of ice water. Suddenly I couldn't breathe, my lungs constricting in shock._

_Akio looked up at him, anguish torn across his innocent face._

_"This is your mother's punishment," Sadao said, with a tone so cold it cut me to the bone._

_My legs shook, my muscles trembling in horror as he opened the cell door and advanced toward me._

This isn't happening! It can't be!

_I could only stare in alarm as Sadao stood in front of me, his eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched, his entire body rigid. "This is her punishment for trying to leave me."_

_"What?! No!" I screamed, my arms twisting wildly in the chains. My ears rang, unable to grasp the words leaving his mouth. An acute, arching cry was echoing around the cell and I didn't recognize it as my own until my eyes fell to my child, his pained features ripping through me with such gut-wrenching sorrow._

_Confusion and despair hit me hard, curling around my throat and cutting off the air to my lungs. My eyes recoiled, clamping shut, blocking out the terrifying sight before me._

This isn't happening! _I repeated, my mind painfully losing its grip on reality._ When I open my eyes I'll be back at home,  _I promised myself, suddenly certain that I was delusional._

_Somehow I managed to drag in a deep breath and lift my eyelids._

_I blinked. And then screamed._

_The face of my husband swirled in a haze, his black eyes changing to golden, his onyx hair fading to white -- the unmistakable image of Karlheinz._

_The very air became corrupted, soiled by his presence, as if all the evil in the world surrounded this one person. And he was towering above me, reaching out his malevolent hand to cup my face._

_"No! No! Don't touch me!" I wailed, the sound keening all around as I wrenched away._

_But the wall blocked me, the chains holding me in place._

_My voice howled at the knowledge that the Vampire King had my child and I was powerless to stop him. The noises coming from me were beyond screams, they were raw pain emanating from somewhere deep inside of me._

_"Mother!" Akio cried, his voice carrying over my own._

_But it wasn't my son standing outside the cell any longer. A beautiful boy with white hair and red eyes now stood in his place, dropping to his knees with his hands over his ears._

_"No!" I screamed again and again, my voice shrill and foreign in my ears. The panic had taken over, and I could no longer recognize what was happening._

_Karlheinz held my face and I desperately jerked out of his grasp, struggling frantically against my bindings. I didn't care that my wrists were once again shredding. I didn't feel the pain, or notice the blood spilling freely down my arms._

Someone help me!

_Everything in my mind seemed to go blank, the disbelief and shock and confusion shearing any rational thought from my head._

_All at once my eyes caught sight of a reflection in the cuffs and I stopped suddenly, the air clenching in my throat._

_The manacles wrapped around my wrists were thick, a shiny silver that mirrored my face back to me. I stared in sudden, stunned silence at the unfamiliar features that were not my own: the lovely, long white hair, the sad red eyes, the full red lips. . . and then the fangs behind them._

_My gaze turned back to Karlheinz and the beautiful boy outside the cell, the realization slapping me harshly in the face._

I should have known. . . I should have realized. . . This is Subaru's memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who have played the game, you might recognize the description of Christa's screaming here lol. Good god, my ears hurt so much after those chapters. However, this isn't a scene from the game. I'm a little hazy on exactly what happened between Karlheinz and Christa. But I do believe she tried to kill herself and he punished her for it.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I hope the memories/dreams aren't getting redundant. I have fun mixing them with Sayuri's memories, and well, they are integral to the story :-)


	25. Silver Knife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Sayuri and Subaru cope with a host of emotions from their shared memory.

 

 

Shoving open the coffin, I jumped out, desperate for air, desperate for the oxygen to clear not just my lungs, but also my head.

My knees shook as I stood in the middle of the room, grappling with the remnants of terror still clinging to me.

_Jesus, I should have realized sooner that I was in a memory!_

But the dream had scraped at the raw fear of my worst nightmare: that Karlheinz had my child. It had blurred my ability to distinguish reality from dreams.

Even now it still felt real, with the scent of the dungeon still in my nose, the taste of it in my mouth, the feel of the cold steel still on my wrists.

And it had been so different from the memories I had shared with Ayato. In those dreams, I had always been myself. This time I was inside someone else's body, inside his mother's.

I sucked in a breath as realization crawled across my skin. "She was your mother?" My gaze lifted to find Subaru as he climbed out of the coffin. "The one you spoke of before? The one that was in the same situation as me?" The full implication that his own mother had suffered my fate lodged in my throat like a bitter pill, too vile to swallow. It sent a sob of anger to rise up and strangle my voice. "That. . . was. . .  _your mother?!"_

Subaru stalked towards me, shock and disbelief spreading across his face as he tried to comprehend what had happened. "You dreamt it, too?"

I ignored his question, not even registering that he'd asked it as the image of Subaru chaining me in the torture chamber flared in my mind, the same way his mother had been chained. 

"How could you?!" I shouted, my fists clenched, my entire body suddenly shaking with anger. "After he did this to your mother?! How could you do this to someone else?! How _could_ you?!"

Agony ripped through my chest, my blood burning through my veins, fast and hot. I could barely breathe as my body trembled, my insides writhing with fury and rage.

And betrayal.

My stomach lurched as I remembered how protected Subaru had made me feel. Safe. I had almost been willing to hope that he was different.

But he wasn’t. Maybe he was even worse.

"You never should have let this happen to me! Or to any of those other girls! You know firsthand how horrible this situation is!" I labored to get air in my lungs as the words spilled out of me uncontrollably. "You, out of all people, should know how my son feels having his mother snatched from him! You should have been trying to free me, not keep me prisoner! You're nothing but a monster! You're just like _him_ , just like your father!"

Without thinking, my hand moved upwards before I could stop it, striking across his cheek.

Subaru's head snapped to the side, a wide, pink splotch forming beneath his eye.

But even that didn't satisfy me.

A fierce need overtook me, a primal urge to make him understand the extent of the hurt he'd caused. I aimed at his face a second time, but with a closed fist.

Subaru caught my wrist midair before it landed, the sound of his hand slapping against my skin echoing into a thick, sinking silence.

A long, tense moment stretched in the charged air between us. Both of us stood utterly still, him with his eyes fixed to the floor and his hand snared around my wrist, me with my chest heaving in emotion too strong to contain. I was brutally, sickeningly aware that I'd gone too far. But I was too furious and hurt to be afraid.

The lines of Subaru's face had deepened, a sadness rippling across his features. I saw the turbulence in his eyes, the shame. The silence started to fill with more than just deathly quiet, and it told me more than words ever could: he felt guilty for what he'd done to me.

I swallowed hard as a pang of my own guilt cut through my anger. He had suffered as a child, and I had just thrown salt in the wound.

No sooner had my fury began to dissolve than Subaru's eyes emptied to a harsh red as something shifted within him. His body stiffened and his head finally turned, his face transforming into something that was edged and predatory, as threatening as the demon that he was.

"You're right," he said quietly, in a voice that I instinctively sensed was the calm before the storm. "I told you before. I _am_ a monster."

My nerves prickled along my skin, raising the hairs as fear crept up the back of my neck. My anger had receded enough for me to remember that a simple shove had sent Subaru into a rage earlier that morning. I realized I didn't want to find out what a slap to the face would do.

Allowing my flight response to take over, my legs shot toward the door.

But something was locked onto my arm and I was jerked backwards.

Subaru's cold, stony fingers still gripped my wrist. I cried out as he yanked me to him, forcing my back into his chest.

"Let go of me!" I shrieked uselessly.

He latched both of my wrists firmly against my sternum, his arm wrapped so tight around me it felt as if steel bands were suffocating me. I struggled and kicked but the strength in just his one hand was more than my entire body.

"So, shall I show you what kind of monster I am?" he snapped from behind me, a snarl clipping his words. With his free hand, he produced a knife, a bright, slender silver that glinted in the low lamp light.

My eyes flew wide, my lips parting on a terrified gasp as he brought the blade to my throat, the sharp tip pressing into the soft skin beneath my jawline.

Automatically I froze and my head rolled back, trying to avoid the metal digging into my flesh. But my head lodged between Subaru's chest and the knife.

I held as still as possible, not daring to even breathe.

"This is the knife my mother tried to end her life with," Subaru said, his voice tight with restrained emotion. "She plunged it straight into her chest, but missed her heart. I was the one that found her like that."

I couldn't shake my head, couldn't speak, couldn't move. The shock of Subaru's words hit me with paralyzing force. He might as well have been driving the blade into my gut. Tears burned my eyes at the thought of Subaru as a boy finding his mother with a knife buried in her chest.

"Then she asked me to end her suffering," he gritted out between his teeth, pressing the knife further into my throat.

A muffled whimper escaped behind my closed mouth, but not from the pain.

_His own mother asked him to kill her? When he was just a child?_

I could feel the slow, sticky drain of blood trickling from the blade’s cruel point, but it was that horrifying image that stabbed through me.

"Do you want me to end your suffering too?" Subaru looked down on me from behind, the intensity flaring in his eyes.

A fiery, burning sensation that matched his gaze began to radiate from the cut in my throat as the tears leaked down my temples, blurring his face and the room around me.

"Or maybe I could just cut your whole throat open, and see if that sweet blood of yours would drain out like a fountain forever."

The knife nudged deeper, and I could feel the blood trailing hot lines down my neck to my breast.

"You are prey. Do not make the mistake of forgetting that. You actually think that I would help my food?"

My eyes winced shut, the truth of his words wrenching in my chest. His was right. I _had_ made the utterly stupid mistake of thinking he could care about me. I wasn't on the same level as his mother; I was human, the lesser species. Although I still didn't understand why they considered me, their food, as their "bride," it didn't change the fact that they saw me as weak, beneath them. 

_He never would have helped me escape. And he doesn't feel guilty about what he did. . ._

My bottom lip quivered as Subaru eased on the pressure of the blade. "Now, how the fuck did you get into my head?"

I met his gaze as he looked down on me. "I - I don't know," I managed to whisper, choking the words out through knotted emotion.

"You expect me to believe that? Hah?" He drove the knife up again and the metallic scent of my blood stung my senses. "You knew what would happen! That's why you didn't want to sleep next to me," he growled angrily, hitting me with an acid glare that dared me to lie to him.

My head pressed as far back as it would go into Subaru's chest, my jaw grinding upwards so hard I thought my teeth might shatter. My voice barely made it past my lips, my eyes delving into his as they bore down on me from behind. "I don't know how it happens, Subaru. I think it's something. . . your father. . . did to me."

His hand barely twitched against the cold silver. But I felt it, felt his reaction to my words. Subaru slowly brought his arm down, along with the blade.

I didn't move. I held his gaze, wondering if he would bring the knife back to my throat. But his sharp, pained stare was the only thing still cutting me open.

All at once he let go of me, pushing me away with an angry snarl and clutching his head in his hands, dropping the knife drenched in my blood. "Everything! Always! It’s always because of him!"

I stumbled foward with a surprised yelp, catching myself before I fell. My hand shot up to my neck, holding back the flow of crimson.

Subaru grimaced, his voice breaking from angered to tormented. "Goddamn it! It’s always, always because of him!"

My heart tightened as I looked over my shoulder at him, the same tortured expression of the young Subaru now standing in the grown vampire before me. Akio's face from the dream flashed in my mind, the way his tears streamed as he stood gripping the bars in the dungeon.

But that hadn't been Akio; it was Subaru who had lived through that awful memory. And I didn't want to admit that experiencing Subaru's memory with my own family had made his pain all the more real, more personal, as if the memory was my own, as if Subaru's pain had also become mine.

"I hate him!" Subaru cursed and began slinging his fists through multiple pieces of furniture, sending a shower of debris sailing over the room.

I stumbled backwards, my back hitting the wall. My hand came away from my neck, shaking and soaked in red. The sight of my blood suddenly jolted the rational part of my brain.

_No! What the hell am I thinking?! I don't want his pain! He just shoved a knife in my throat! He is the enemy! I need to run! Not just stand here!_

But my feet were rooted to the spot, a raging flood of anger, fear, guilt, sadness, hopelessness, washing over me. The weight of it all was so thick it was nearly drowning me. My eyes found Subaru's, and I couldn't swallow the tears clogging my throat, or the vice clamping my heart.

The rational voice in my head shouted at me even louder. _Move! Get out of here! Leave before he does something more drastic!_

But I just stood there, struggling to understand why I was looking at him as if he deserved my compassion. His childhood, his past, his memories -- _they_   _didn't matter_. He was one of my captors. He was a violent, bloodthirsty vampire, capable of the same cruelty as his father. He didn't care for me, or even view me as anything other than food.

But even logic couldn't stop the torrent in my chest.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." The words slid out of me on a strangled whisper before I was even aware of saying them. And despite everything he had done to me, I realized those words held nothing but the truth. 

I _was_ sorry.

Sorry for his childhood, sorry for what happened to his mother, sorry that his father was evil incarnate. I was sorry that the pain of his upbringing followed him here and that it drove him to violence. And I was even sorry for calling him a monster.

Subaru blinked at me, confusion rippling across his features. His red eyes flicked over every part of my face, as if he couldn't believe my words. Neither could I. Maybe I truly did go too far.

"Get out. Now. Before I break you into pieces." His voice was low, heavy and cold, but wreathed in sadness.

I didn't move. My mind spun, fighting itself through an overwhelming urge to go to him, to comfort him.

_No! What the hell is wrong with me?!_

I was sickened and disgusted by what I felt, self-loathing rapidly curdling within me.

This was the reality that I knew would happen, that I didn’t _want_ to happen if I shared more memories: that I would pity them or otherwise empathize with them. Shame and anger coursed through me, and I forced myself to look at the only two realities that mattered: Either I stayed and got my neck broken, or I ran. But I couldn't feel compassion for him, not for any of them. I _wouldn't_.

Then Subaru broke my paralysis, letting out an enraged roar, sending me stumbling on my feet at the terrifying sound. He kicked a chair across the room, past my head, shattering it against the wall. I flinched, ducking before it hit me.

I tore my gaze from from him and made my decision.

Darting for the door, I threw myself into the hallway. My legs flew forward underneath me while my jaw clenched tight, smothering the sobs as I ran.

_"I'm sorry. . . I'm so sorry. . ."_

Every ounce of those words felt like a betrayal from deep within my own mind. Anger at myself spread through my body like an infection, festering in every corner until everything around me blurred.

" _How could you?!_ " I had accused _him._  But now I was saying the same thing to myself.

 _How could_ I _?_  

How could I feel this gut-wrenching sorrow for him? And not just Subaru, but Ayato and Laito too.

I _had_  to force myself to see reason: It wasn't just _my_ life they had ruined. They were killers. How many people they had murdered? They would have killed _me_  already if their father permitted it. How could _I_  possibly be letting their past memories get to me?

But if my short time in this house had taught me anything, it was that emotions were more powerful than logic. 

I found myself wishing I could share dreams that would make me hate them. Why did I have to see their most painful childhood traumas?

_Jesus, why do I see their memories at all?_

Slowing to a walk, I realized I was limping, my feet still wounded from running barefoot through the woods. The pain added to the burning in my neck, and my thoughts became harder and harder to corral as the strength flowed out of my body with my blood.

I pressed my hand tighter onto the bleeding wound in my throat. From what my fingers could feel, the cut wasn't large, but it must have knicked an artery. Without vampire saliva I wasn't sure how long it would keep bleeding or how slowly it would heal. But I damn sure wasn't finding a bloodsucker to fix it. It was hard enough to remain vigilant and _avoid_  them.

Somehow I managed to find the door to my bedroom. With what little strength I had left, I slammed it closed behind me, slamming out all the unwanted memories from my mind, slamming out all the emotions that I didn't want to feel.

I collapsed facedown onto the bed, uncaring that my blood was soaking into the crisp white linens, along with my tears.

The weight of everything was heavy on my skin, sinking me further into the blankets. They ruffled around my face and blocked the air from my lungs. Part of me wished I could stay like that, that I could suffocate right then and there.

But I turned my head and drew in a deep, shuddering breath that burned down my injured throat.

Even if I _could_  kill myself, I wouldn't.

The thought made Subaru's mother flutter in my mind, and a raw, deep sorrow slipped into my chest. What had his father done to her, that she would ask her own young son to kill her? What had Karlheinz done?

_He broke her._

The fine hairs on my neck lifted and I shivered violently. Would they break me too?

I swallowed hard, hoping my strength could endure whatever horrors the future held for me, hoping that I wouldn't one day find myself willing to die and leave my son in the clutches of the Vampire King.

I sat bolt upright as a horrifying thought suddenly lashed through me.

_Subaru's mother was a vampire._

The room spun, and I gripped the edges of the bed.

_He said it was the same situation._

White fog began to eat at my vision, until I could only see through a hazy tunnel. Bile rose in my throat and I hugged my arms around my stomach, feeling sick as the world stirred around me.

 _Oh god._ They weren't planning on turning me into a vampire, were they?

_No, that can't be. It doesn’t make any sense. They said I was their "ultimate food souce."_

I stood up, pushing through the dizziness, the blood loss, the bleak fear chilling me to my core. I had to find Ayato. I had to meet with Karlheinz, not just for Akio's sake, but for _mine_.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter was not an easy one to write. Sayuri's emotions are all over the place. On the one hand she wants to hate Subaru (and the others) but on the other hand, she's experienced their memories for herself and it's having an impact she doesn't want to face. It was difficult to write these emotions, so I hope I was able to convey them realistically. :-)


	26. Request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri is focused and determined to find a way to meet with Karlheinz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are lucky. You are getting two chapters with today's update xD. I'm going to California this week (woot!) so I won't have another update for a couple of weeks. So, enjoy!
> 
>  

* * *

 

The sound of the dinner bell ripped my eyes wide open. I jerked upright, gasping, pressing a hand to my forehead as the room spun in a blur, sending my mind into a blaze of confusion.

"What the hell?!" I looked down to find my body dressed in a brand new school uniform.

_How did I get this on?!_

The last thing I remembered was standing to find Ayato.

My head turned in bewilderment, taking in the space around me. The linens had also been changed, the new white blankets clear of any blood.

My hand shot up to my neck. Clean, soft skin covered the area where a bloodied cut in my carotid artery should have been.

I ran a hand through my hair and blinked into the room when I realized my hair, too, was clean.

"You passed out again, Bitch-chan.~"

I cried out as the bed sank behind me and two arms snaked around my waist. There was no need to guess whom they belonged to. The vile nickname and the playful, sultry tone were unmistakable. The sound made my whole body flinch with dread.

Laito nuzzled my ear, his hat lightly bumping into the side of my head. "So _shameful_ of Subaru to leave you with such a wound. It seems you're just as _sensitive_ to silver as we are. Aren't you _glad~_ I was here to clean you up, Bitch-chan?"

His soft voice in my hair, along with the implications in his words, sent shudders down my spine. He had seen me naked, and done god knows what to me while I was unconscious, _again_.

"Aren't you going to thank me?" he practically purred.

Nausea churned in my stomach. _No way in hell._

"The dinner bell rang. We have to go," I said instead, teetering on the edge of panic as I attempted to pry his hands off my waist.

"But that's why I'm here." Laito's arms tightened around me. "I'll be gone for a couple of days. So I've come to say goodbye to my Bitch-chan."

"Gone?" I said uncertainly, almost hopefully.

"I have some. . .  _business. . ._  to attend to." He moved a hand to my knee, trailing a finger up my thigh to the edge of my skirt. "I regret having no time for some _fun~_ with you before I leave." Cocking an eyebrow at me, he smiled, showing off his fangs.

I smacked his hand off my leg and shrank back from his face so close to mine, but inwardly relief flowed through me like a refreshing splash of water. I wouldn't have to watch my back for the next few days as far as he was concerned.

"But don't worry. When I return," Laito cupped my jaw, "we'll make up for lost time."

Chills crawled across my skin with the promise in his tone.

He giggled and kissed me on the cheek. "See you _soon_ ,~ Bitch-chan."

Then in an instant, he disappeared, taking the cold of his body with him.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Rubbing a hand over my face where his mouth had been, I stood up, my knees wobbling.

Subaru had cut my throat with a knife, yet Laito was the one who frightened me.

 _It's his eyes._  

The joyful malice behind that emerald gaze told me that Laito wanted to hurt me in every way that he had been hurt.

I shivered, my hands trembling, as I walked across the room and opened my bedroom door. I linked my fingers together to stop the shaking, to stop my mind from thinking about the horrid ways Laito had been hurt. 

 _His past doesn't matter_ , I told myself for the hundredth time.

What mattered was keeping myself safe from him. At least he would be gone for a few days, and I could hopefully concentrate on meeting with Karlheinz.

I wound my way through the hallways to the dining hall, realizing my feet didn't hurt inside my shoes. Had Laito healed those wounds too? Maybe I should have been grateful to him, but the thought of his mouth on my feet only made me shudder.

The red and gold carpeted runners swallowed my footfalls, for which I was thankful. The halls were eerie enough without the sound of the black clogs that Laito had apparently dressed me in echoing everywhere.

 _Dressed me. . ._  I shivered again. Laito seemed to treat me more like a doll than Kanato. I felt a twist in my stomach, and I pushed Laito, and whatever he had done, to the back of my mind.

I stopped cold when my brain suddenly comprehended what else Laito had said.

_"It seems you're just as sensitive to silver as we are."_

I'd been so horrified that he'd "cleaned me up", that I hadn't even realized he'd said that.

_What the hell does that mean?_

I remembered the burning sensation when the silver punctured my skin. I remembered Subaru's mother had tried to kill herself with the silver knife to the heart. I remembered Kanato had tried to kill _me_ with a silver fork to the heart.

Was that how vampires died?

My hands curled around my middle, rubbing my arms. They had said multiple times that I was human. So why would silver affect me?

Mentally, I added this mystery to the list of things to ask the Vampire King.

Before entering the dining room, I caught a flicker of something in my peripheral vision and turned around. My own reflection glinted back at me in an antique, decorative mirror on the wall.

Pausing for a moment, I studied myself, wincing at my eyes, at the dark circles that were almost as bruised-looking as Kanato's, against a face as pale as the marble floors. In the low lighting, my hair looked even redder, and I slowly knitted my fingers through the waist-length strands, finding it difficult to pull away from a reflection that seemed so unfamiliar. It was as if the outside of my body was trying to match the changes on the inside.

A rich, deep voice shook me out of my trance. "Do you plan to stare at yourself all night?" 

I turned to find the eldest brother, Shuu, standing in the archway, leaning on the frame, smirking at me.

Tugging myself away from the mirror, I kept silent, ignoring him, as I skirted around him into the dining hall.

Schooling my face into a blank expression, I quickly glanced around the room. I swallowed hard when I felt a pair of brutal red eyes pierce me. I didn't have to look to to know Reiji was watching me. I could feel it the second that cruel gaze landed on me; it was like a sickening, static shock slicing right through me.

I kept my own eyes downcast as I found an empty chair at the end of the table. I wasn't ready to see Reiji's face again. Though, the harsh angles of his features were burned into my mind with the force of a branding iron.

As I shakily grabbed my napkin and put it in my lap, something out of the corner of my eye caught my surprise: Kanato's teddy bear sat in the empty seat beside me.

My pulse skipped at the sight of the bear, the image of Kanato wanting to make me into one of his dolls reigniting in my mind. But then my eyebrows twitched in confusion. Kanato never went anywhere without that bear. I swung my head around the room, searching for the small, insane vampire.

"He isn't here." Reiji's stern tone answered my unspoken question. My eyes involuntarily met his and I shuddered, tearing my gaze away and looking down at my lap. "Kanato is taking his punishment in the dungeons per our father's orders." Reiji continued. "Apparently someone thought it would be amusing to have the bear in his place."

Blinking at my hands, I nervously palmed them against my skirt. _Kanato is in the dungeons? Because he tried to kill me?_

I hadn't expected Karlheinz would go so far to punish his sons for disobeying him. I should have felt relief. Instead a knot tied in my stomach.

"Don't look at me. I didn't do it this time." Ayato's voice caught my attention and I lifted my head.The redhead was pulling a chair and sitting down, several seats away.

"Well, whomever it was needs to remove it." Reiji spoke with the authority of the house's father figure.

"Then you might have to wait," Ayato snapped out. "Laito probably did it."

The redhead turned his gaze to me. Leaning back in his chair, his arms were folded across his chest, leaving his food untouched. A chill ran down my neck as his entire body radiated unbridled apathy towards me. His glaring eyes and the hard set of his jaw said everything: "I wish my bite to your neck would have killed you."

My instinct to shrink away from him, to sink down in my chair as if I could melt into it, was something I couldn't stop. It combined with a crushing sense of despair as I realized Ayato had no intention of setting up a meeting with his father for me.

The servants brought out my food, but I only picked at it. Lead filled my chest, making everything I ate stick in my throat as I wondered frantically what to do. I cradled my glass of water, my fingers turning white as I timidly peered at the others. With Laito and Kanato gone, only Reiji, Ayato and Shuu sat at the table.

I assumed Subaru must still be angry, refusing to attend dinner. Closing my eyes, I felt a surge of guilt. I quickly drank my water, swallowing my emotions back along with the liquid. I couldn't let myself be distracted with irrational feelings for him that I didn't want to feel.

Instead, I forced myself to focus on the meeting with Karlheinz.

_Who could I ask to arrange it?_

Certainly not Reiji. That idea nearly choked me with panic. As I trailed behind the brothers on our way to the limo, my gaze fell to the eldest vampire.

_Of course. . . Shuu._

Shuu had brought Karlheinz to the dungeon when Reiji _punished_  me. Of course he was capable of taking me to his father.

I eyed the back of the fair-headed brother as we walked, my mind planning for the opportunity to ask.

As we piled into the limo, it didn't escape my notice that Subaru had wordlessly joined us. I glanced up at him as he sat diagonally from me. He fixed me with a level glare, his words unspoken, though I could still very much hear them. The pain of our shared memory was still simmering on his face and I could practically taste his anger on the air.

Guilt rubbed at my insides like sandpaper, guilt at what I said to him, and guilt for even _feeling_  guilt. I swallowed heavily and broke his gaze, blinking back the stinging in my eyes.

I shifted towards Shuu as he sat across the limo, his blue eyes closed, arms across his chest, music in his ears. My shoulders rose in a deep sigh as I watched the darkness fly by around him, holding on to one last foolish hope that Shuu would help me.

Lost in my thoughts, I almost didn't realize we were at the school until the limo was coming to a stop outside the entrance.

 _School_.

It felt so strange to be going back to high school. I hadn't really thought about it the last time I was here because I was so certain that I'd never walk in that building again; I was so certain that I'd find a way to escape.

Forcing back a fresh wave of tears, I followed the four brothers into the building.

I watched helplessly as Shuu made his way to the opposite wing from my classes. I debated going after him, but the others were still nearby and I didn't want to take the risk that they'd overhear my request and somehow ruin my chance. I decided to attend my classes and figure out how to find Shuu in the meantime.

My first three classes didn't have any vampires to guard me, as Laito and Kanato were absent. I found myself under the stares of other students and some were whispering behind my back.

But I didn't care. They were just kids.

I simply took advantage of the time without the brothers to just _breathe_. I didn’t fully realize just how much their presence smothered me until I could finally take a breath.

Fourth, sixth and seventh hour were classes with Ayato. Every time I looked at him, his eyes were on me and I felt the weight of those glares. A part of me wanted to talk to him, to apologize for what had happened, to find a way to ease his anger.

I sighed in exasperation with myself.  _That's ridiculous._   _Just leave him be and hopefully he'll keep avoiding me._

But that didn't appease the nagging feeling in the back of my mind.

In between classes I searched for Shuu, assuming his tall, blond form would be easy to pick out in the crowd. But to my frustration and disappointment, he was nowhere to be seen. Reluctantly, I admitted I would have to try to talk to him back at the mansion.

As the last bell for the day rang, I stayed in my seat and watched as the rest of the students filed out, laughter filling the halls. I was the only one not smiling, wishing I could stay in the empty classroom instead of returning to a mansion filled with monsters.

But I reminded myself to focus on my goal: I had to find Shuu.

Gathering my courage along with my things, I stood up. Turning around, I halted in my tracks.

Ayato had been sitting a few desks behind me, and he was still there, silently watching me. Our eyes collided, and I felt the impact straight into my bones.

My mouth opened to speak, to say _something_ that would ease his anger with our shared memory. But my tongue was paralyzed by his glare, the words trapped in my throat.

The redhead stood and for a frightening moment I thought he would attack me. Instead, he seemed as if he were resisting the urge to do just that. His lips curved down angrily and he shoved his fists into his pockets.

I released a breath of surprise as he turned and stormed out of the classroom.

I stared at the doorway in confusion. I had thought he was angry over our shared dreams, but now I sensed there was something else involved. Ayato didn't seem like someone with a lot of self-control. So why was he working so hard to avoid me? 

Clutching my school books to my chest, I walked out of the classroom. I reluctantly joined the vampires downstairs as we headed to the limo, and eventually back to my prison.

The next two days played out in much the same manner. Before school each evening, the four of us ate dinner, with Ayato and Subaru either glaring at me or ignoring me completely. Shuu seemed to disappear the second we returned home from school, along with everyone else.

As glad as I was that I wasn't being attacked, my desperation to talk to Shuu alone to request a meeting with his father was growing. I wasn't so concerned with myself anymore, as the likelihood that they'd turn me into a vampire worried me less and less. It was Akio that made my chest ache. A motherly instinct told me that Karlheinz had been true to his word, that he hadn't harmed my son. But my logical nature wouldn't rest until I was absolutely certain.

On Friday night at the dinner table, I debated asking Shuu in front of everyone. But I bit down on my tongue, knowing it was entirely stupid. I smoothed my skirt out in my lap, thinking.

Kanato's bear still sat next to me, distracting me from my thoughts. I didn't know how long the mentally disturbed vampire was sentenced to be in the dungeons. But each night at dinner, a jolt of guilt hit me whenever I laid eyes on the stuffed animal. That bear seemed to mean everything to Kanato, and he had been without it all this time.

I gripped my fingers into my palms. _Why the hell should I care if he doesn't have the stupid teddy? He doesn't deserve to have it after what he did to me. He deserves every bit of punishment for what he did to all those girls._

But something inside of me couldn't forget who Kanato's mother was, and what she had done to his triplet brothers, Ayato and Laito. I couldn't help the nagging feeling that his mother was the one that had driven him to his insanity.

 _It doesn't matter what she did, he still deserves punishment!_  

I tried reasoning with myself, but each time I did, the bear would stare at me as if his presence in the dining hall was somehow my fault.

Pressing my lips together in determination, I glanced up at Shuu. I _had_  to concentrate on him. I _had_  to force Kanato and the dumb bear out of my mind.

Which was exactly what I did. The school day seemed to fly by, each class bringing me closer and closer to the weekend where I wouldn't have the school to protect me from the vampires. The back of my neck began to ache with anxiety, but I breathed deeply, trying to convince myself that the weekend would give me the opportunity to search the entire house for Shuu.

During the last class of the day, the teacher surprised me by asking me and another student to return some books to the music room.

"It'll help you learn the building since you're still new here," the teacher, whose name I couldn't remember, said as he handed over one stack of books. "Jin can show you the way."

A very tall, lanky boy with dark hair grabbed the second stack, and I followed him out of the classroom. I didn't miss the furious look Ayato shot in my direction as the door closed behind me.

I found myself wishing I could just talk to Ayato -- and Subaru too, for that matter -- like I would a normal person who was angry with me. But I quickly shook that thought from my mind. They were vampires and anything _but_  normal.

 _And I shouldn't even care if they are mad_ , I reminded myself.

I was so consumed with thoughts of Ayato and Subaru that I hadn't realized the boy I was following had been speaking to me.

"I guess you don't talk much, eh?" he said as he pushed open a double door with his back, holding it open for me.

"Uh, I'm sorry, Jin." I hoped I remembered his name correctly. I realized with a lump of sadness that this boy was the first person, first human, whom I'd talked with since I was kidnapped. I felt so disconnected from humanity, even in this building, surrounded by humans. This school made it shockingly clear just how twisted and warped my life had become.

"No problem, no problem," the kid said energetically, a big smile plastered on his face. "I was asking if you'd seen the whole school yet?" He placed his stack of books on a shelf near the door, and I followed.

"Uh, no, I haven't," I said distractedly, taking in the room. I was awed by the amount of instruments. They had not one, but two, grand pianos and every musical piece imaginable.

"I would be happy to give you a tour." Jin seemed far more cheerful than my mood was ready for.

He grabbed my books from my arms, but I barely noticed the weight lifting from my body. Behind one of the grand pianos, a pair of shoes attached to a pair of legs caught my attention.

The tall boy followed my gaze, noticing the look of concern on my face. "Ah, don't worry, that's just your lazy ass cousin. He's always here," he laughed.

"My cousin?" It took me a second to remember that the vampires were supposed to be my family to the outside world.

"Yeah, Shuu Sakamaki. I think that's his name. He's your cousin, right?" Jin asked.

I replied casually, but my mind was reeling. "Right. Yeah, he is."

_Shuu is right here! I need to get rid of this kid so I can talk to him!_

"Look, do you think you could go back to class without me?" I asked. "I'm going to try to get my 'lazy ass cousin' back to class."

Jin's smile faded. "Oh, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to insult him or your family. He's just sorta famous for always being in here. And trust me, you won't get him out. He's asleep." His face lit up again as he laughed. "Besides school's almost out, there's no point. Have you been to the roof yet? You can see the whole town from there. Come on, I'll show you."

Before I could protest, Jin grabbed me by the arm and pulled me through the door.

"Hey! Wait! Let go!" I said, shaking him off me.

"Ah, I'm sorry!" He laughed heartily. "I get a little carried away sometimes."

"I can see that," I whispered under my breath.

Jin started walking towards the stairwell. "Come on, come on."

Glancing back at the music room, my shoulders dropped. If Shuu _was_  asleep, he wouldn't be receptive to my request. Inwardly I sighed, realizing it might be better to talk to him at the mansion after all, rather than the school where students could overhear.

This seemingly simple task was starting to feel impossible.

Begrudgingly, I followed Jin. "I think we should go back to class though," I said.

"Don't worry, it won't take long. It's right up here." He climbed two flights of stairs that led to a pair of double doors. Pulling them open, he waved me through.

The night air that greeted me was calm and silent, aside from a few crickets singing in the distance. I had expected the rooftop to look like an ordinary roof with concrete and air conditioner caps. Instead, I was amazed to see the area had been turned into a garden, a picturesque park. Shrubs curled against the tall wrought iron fence that surrounded the roof, and grass and flowers adorned the stone walkways that were lined with stained wooden benches.

"Wow, this is really beautiful," I marveled as I strolled to the fence, taking in the view of the town and the full moon beginning to rise over the buildings.

"I told you, didn't I?" Jin said excitedly.

His bright mood might have been contagious if it weren't for the dark clouds hanging over mine.

I turned around and gazed across the garden, my throat suddenly clogging with tears. All at once I felt as if I were back at the park with Akio, one we used to visit all the time before I got sick. I could hear his laughter ringing in my ears, his presence filling my mind, so vividly it was as if he were right there with me.

I shook my head, trying desperately to cast the vision from my eyes, along with the tears.

Slowly, the memory dissipated into the darkness, and I gripped my arms across my stomach, the sense of loss sharp and cutting as it hollowed out my chest.

"What's the matter?" Jin asked, sidling up next to me.

"Nothing," I said, trying not to look at him. "It's just really lovely here."

"Yes, it is," he remarked lightly. "You know what else is really lovely?" The tone of his voice dropped to almost a whisper as he shifted to stand in front of me. "You are."

My eyes widened in surprise as Jin leaned in close, forcing me backwards into the fence.

 _Is he_ actually _coming on to me?_

Jin's brows were low over his eyes as he moved a hand next to my head, grabbing the wrought iron bar behind me and invading my personal space.

The last thing I had expected was one of the _human_  students to hit on me. For once, I had almost enjoyed the company of someone who didn't want to drink my blood or hurt me. But now, a flare of annoyance stung at me.

_Well, even humans have hidden agendas._

"I think we should get back." I tossed Jin an irritated look, but he didn't seem to get the hint.

"We still have a few more minutes." He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

I intended to slide out or push him out of the way. But I didn't get the chance.

"She said she wants to go back," came a baritone voice out of the quiet night.

A scream erupted from Jin's mouth that sent my pulse racing.

My eyes snapped up to find Shuu standing beside us, bending back the hand Jin had placed by my head.

"Shuu, stop it!" I yelled, grabbing his arm and shaking. "Stop!"

A light sneer curled at his lips, but Shuu let go.

Jin stumbled backwards, clutching his hand. "What the fuck, man?!"

Shuu shrugged his shoulders. "I was going to break it. Guess I was just too lazy."

I ran over to Jin. "Are you ok?" I asked urgently, reaching for his hand.

"Stay away from me!" He jerked away. "Your whole family is fucking crazy!" Jin spun on his heels and darted through the double doors.

I watched him go, my lips parting in shock as I turned back to Shuu, momentarily forgetting why I had been looking for him for three days. "What the hell is the matter with you?"

A partial smirk formed across Shuu's lips as he trailed my body from head to toe. I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I didn't like the way he was talking to my _cousin_ ," he said simply as he walked towards a nearby bench and leisurely sat down.

My eyes followed him, filled with disgust. "Well, you could have just told him to get lost. You didn't have to hurt him."

"Too troublesome. He got the message faster that way." Shuu eyed me with unconcerned, heavy lids as I approached him.

Standing in front of him, a silence fell over us for a few moments as my purpose for finding Shuu surged in my mind. I gnawed at the inside of my cheek, the silence pressing against my ears as I debated how to proceed.

"You're staring at me. It's annoying." Shuu closed his eyes, appearing to lose interest in my presence. 

Rubbing the back of my neck uncertainly, I sat down beside him, wondering if I should break the ice before coming right out and saying what I needed. A stray breeze tussled some flyaway strands of my hair and I pushed them back with a sigh as I spoke. "I wanted to thank you for stopping Reiji when you did, when you brought your father to the dungeon."

His eyes still shut, Shuu adjusted an earbud in his ear. "I didn't do that for you."

"Oh," was all I could think to say after a pause. "Well, I guess. . . thank you anyway." I couldn't help being curious why he did bring his father to the dungeon. But I didn't want to ask him that now.

Sitting back against the bench, I fumbled with my hands in my lap. "Breaking the ice" wasn't going so well. I decided perhaps the best way was just to come out and say it.

"I need to meet with your father, and I don't know how to contact him. I was wondering if you could arrange it."

The blonde didn't open his eyes or respond. I studied his profile, searching for any sort of movement or reaction, but there was none.

"Please, Shuu. I need proof that he hasn't harmed my son." My voice was more ragged with emotion than I intended.

Shuu finally cracked his eyes open, tilting his head towards me and sighing, as if my request were annoying him. "Why would you need that? My father said he wouldn't touch him so long as you didn't run away, right?"

My mouth set into a grim line. "There was something Ayato said. . . I just need to be sure. Please. . ." I could feel myself on the verge of pleading.

Shuu regarded me for a long moment without blinking, his sapphire eyes displaying a guarded expression that told me nothing. I held his gaze, the pleading laced in my eyes.

"And I suppose you'll continue to bother me about it."

It was a statement, not a question, and hope swelled within me. "Yes. I won't stop until I know."

Shuu sighed with exasperation, but I didn't miss the hint of amusement crossing his features. "And what will you do for me?"

My skin tightened. I had expected he might say something like that. I gulped at the thought, but I decided against saying, "Whatever you want." Not yet.

Instead I cautiously said, "My blood. Anytime you want it."

Shuu scoffed. "I can just _take_  that anytime I want it."

I ground my teeth, a flint of anger striking through me. "Isn't that how it is with anything? You can just take whatever you want from me, whenever you want?"

Shuu raised his shoulders and casually stretched his hands behind his head. "Precisely. So why would I go through the trouble of doing anything for you?"

The sudden urge to slap him amassed in my hands, but the anger was more at myself than him. I had walked right into that trap. I should have known better.

"But I suppose it might be nice to hear you beg." His eyes were closed again. He looked utterly unconcerned, his voice calm and smooth, as if he'd just asked me to take a nap beside him.

 _Fine_ , I thought to myself, _I'll do whatever the hell he wants, even if it does erode my dignity._

I turned imploring eyes on him. "Please, Shuu. Please take me to see your father. I would be forever grateful if you would do this for me. I'll willingly give you my blood, I won't fight you. . . Please. . ."

Though I was angry, the insistent plea in my voice was genuine.

Shuu smirked and turned his head, his blue eyes glinting at me. "No. Beg me to drink your blood."

 

 

 


	27. Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri has to put aside her pride and do what Shuu wants. *Trigger warning for sexual coercion*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I released two chapters with today's update. This is the second one. You're welcome :-)
> 
> (See you guys when I get back from California xD)

* * *

 

I blinked at Shuu, heat flushing my cheeks with humiliation. Begging him to contact his father was one thing, because that was something I genuinely, desperately wanted.

But begging him to drink my blood?

I bunched my hands into fists, the desire to lash out at him growing stronger. The memory of Reiji telling me to do the same thing suddenly flared in my mind. At that time, I was in such agony after his _punishment_  that I couldn't even speak. But even then, the pleading in my eyes was genuine -- I had been desperate for relief.

However, Shuu was demanding I beg for something that I did _not_  want. Willingly giving my blood to him in exchange for something I needed, and pleading with him to take it, were two very different things.

I fought hard to keep my emotions, and my pride, in check. _It's not that big a deal_ , I reasoned.

I hardened my eyes with resolve, but was barely able to keep the fury out of my tone. "Shuu, I'm begging you. Please drink my blood. I really want you to have it. . . Please."

Shuu stared at me blankly for a moment before arching an eyebrow. "Seriously? That's it?" he sighed, his face taut with exasperation. "What a pain. You can't even beg properly."

I felt my nostrils flare with irritation, both at myself and him. This was more difficult for me than I realized.

Shuu brushed a few blonde strands off his forehead and grumbled, "Come here." 

Trepidation trickled down my spine. I eyed him warily, but slid sideways on the wooden bench until our legs almost touched.

In a single blink, he grabbed my arm and pulled me into his lap.

I struggled with my balance at the sudden movement and didn't notice, at first, that he had quickly pulled my knees on either side of his legs, making me straddle him.

Mortification rose up in my chest and I fought to move away. But Shuu held me in place, one hand on the small of my back, the other tightly wrapped around my arm.

The corner of his mouth twitched. "Now, give me something better."

The color _had_  drained from my face, but now I felt it rising back up again, both from anger and embarrassment. He was going to drag this out.

I nearly glared at the entertained little half-smile glued on his face, but I thought better of it. I calmed my expression, keeping it as neutral as possible.

Pausing for a long second, I contemplated what I should say, before I sat back on the tops of his knees. I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced out the words I thought he would want to hear.

"I want. . . to feel your fangs piercing my skin. I _need_ you to drink from me. . . I want to feel the heat, the pain," My voice caught and I took a breath, hating every word. My chin dropped to look at his chest before I continued. "Please. . . I need it. I need you to take my blood."

Before I could say more, Shuu traced the line of my jaw and pushed my face up, making me look at him. "Not bad. . . keep going."

My chest tightened, his eyes nearly cutting off my ability to speak. "I. . . want to feel your mouth on me. . . to feel your fangs inside me." I cringed inwardly, horrified at my words and trying not to choke on them. "Please give me the pleasure of your bite, my body yearns for it. Please. . . Shuu. Please, take it. Take all the blood you want."

I stopped, my breathing shallow. Inside my head I was begging him in a different way: _Please let that be enough._

The blond vampire chuckled, a deeply amused rumble in his throat that crawled over my skin and into my bones.

"Much better. I'll grant your request. But you have to _give it_  to me."

Glancing at the doors, I worried someone might open them and see us. But Shuu was waiting; he didn't seem to care about getting caught.

Biting my lip, I pushed up the sleeve of my blazer a few inches, handing my wrist over to him.

He stared at me, his face even with mine, his eyes darkening with hunger. "I don't want your wrist," he said lowly, his voice predatory. "Unbutton your shirt."

My stomach rolled in horror. "What?" I whispered in shock, my mouth suddenly going as dry as cotton.

Shuu didn't repeat himself. He knew he'd been perfectly clear. He weighted me down with that penetrating stare, his eyes like a blue flame burning his demand into me, prickling the sweat down my back. He had me right where he wanted me. He knew I'd do anything he asked.

With my hands shaking, I untied the ribbons around my neck. I fumbled with the buttons on my jacket, fighting back the anxiety permeating through my insides. Every inch of his stare as he watched me made me tremble even more.

I unbuttoned just the first three buttons and stopped, hoping that maybe all he wanted was easier access to my neck. But my hopes were extinguished by the look on his face.

"All the way." His voice was low, his eyelids heavy.

I paused, and drew a breath through parted lips. _I can do this. I have to._

As my fingers released the next button, Shuu's hands settled on my thighs. My muscles twitched under his icy touch, and I wanted nothing more than to slap him away.

But I steeled myself, trying to keep focused on my shirt.

My lungs hitched when his hands began to inch upwards, beneath my skirt. The chilling sensation it sent across my skin nearly immobilized me. I pressed my lips together the further up he went, disliking the way my legs tingled from his touch.

He stopped just before he reached the crease at my hips, for which I was thankful. I hoped his hands wouldn't go any further. But I was still unnerved with his fingers that _close_.

As I finished unbuttoning my shirt, I looked up at him nervously, brushing the hair out of my face, my heart beating rapidly behind my ribcage.

Shuu's eyes met mine for a brief moment before his hands ever too slowly left my legs and pulled open the edges of my shirt, fully revealing my chest and stomach.

Shivers ran up and down my spine. Whether it was from the cool night air that greeted my exposed skin, or Shuu's roving gaze, I couldn't be sure.

My entire body tensed as his hands closed over my breasts, lightly cupping them over the white lace bra. His thumbs brushed across each nipple until they tightened into a peak under the lace.

I grimaced, my eyes pinning shut, despising the feeling he was beginning to build in me.

Shuu chuckled darkly, "I can hear your pulse speeding up. I don’t know if it’s because you’re embarrassed or aroused, but it’s quite noisy."

My eyelids flipped open, trying not to glare. I didn't know how to respond to that without risking pissing him off. It was taking everything within me to let him do this to me. I didn't trust myself to speak and lose my chance to meet with his father.

Sliding his hands down my sides, Shuu grabbed my hips. Unexpectedly, he pulled me forward until our upper bodies pressed together, the points of my breasts rubbing against his shirt.

I bit into my lip to stifle a gasp of shock as he roughly ground my hips down onto his, the unmistakable bulge in his pants digging into me, purposefully and persistently.

_Oh god. . ._

Shuu's prying eyes roamed over my face, the beautiful blue sapphires making me feel even more vulnerable and exposed than my shirt hanging open while his thickness pressed through the thin cloth of my underwear.

His gaze landed on my lips, and for a tense moment I thought he might kiss me, which somehow felt more intimate than anything else.

 _Please, don't._  I found myself pleading internally again.

"Bring your chest to my mouth," he demanded instead, his voice gravelly, hungry. 

I felt my eyes widen with alarm, unsure if I heard him correctly. But the moonlight illuminated the intensity carved into his usually calm face and I knew he was serious.

Clenching my teeth, I rose up on my knees and shakily forced myself to do what he wanted. I steadied my damp, trembling hands on his shoulders as I reluctantly brought my chest to his face. I closed my eyes, my heart pounding so hard I thought it would burst.

"I didn't know you were such a lusty woman," he rumbled across my skin, "loosening your own clothes, and pushing your chest forward."

My body stiffened as fury seized me, and I fought to hold back a string of angry curses.

He was taunting me, either to humiliate me further or to prod me to lash out. I suspected it was the former, and I was disgusted with myself to realize that it was working: I felt degraded by what he was making me do, how he was making me feel. 

Every sexual situation I had experienced in my life had been with someone I cared for. I wasn't the type for one-night stands or casual sex or sexual favors. Like most women, I had endured sexual harassment on occasion -- the catcalls walking down the street, the crude remarks made by coworkers, the random ass-grabs by raucous guys when I was in school  -- and I was never shy about telling men off when they behaved inappropriately.

But now. . .

"Do you have any idea how lewd you look, straddling me with your chest in my face?" Shuu's voice was almost a growl, but I heard the amusement behind it.

A curl of nausea grew in the pit of my stomach as he spoke. He knew just how demeaning this was for me and he seemed to revel in it.

I struggled against the urge to shove him as his cold breath wafted across my chest, spreading goosebumps over my body.

All at once, I clamped my jaw and forced back a cry of pain as Shuu sank his fangs into the flesh just above the fabric of my bra.

_Christ! Why the hell do they have to bite so hard?!_

It made me appreciate Subaru's gentle bite all the more.

My bottom lip tightened with loathing as I realized that they didn't _have_  to bite so damn hard. They just _wanted_  to.

Just as sharply as he had bitten down, Shuu wrenched his teeth out. He looked up at me, his tone as dark as his eyes. "Don't hold back your voice. I want to hear you scream."

My nerves throbbed as another shaft of pain hit me. This time I couldn't have suppressed the sound that tore from my lungs even if I had wanted to -- Shuu had pulled my bra down, freeing my breast and then biting down hard.

My hands fisted in his cardigan, my knuckles turning white as I cried out. 

Shuu ripped out of my sensitive flesh, laughing deeply. "That's good. . . Don't hide your pain. Pain shows us how alive we are."

His mouth greedily dove back over my breast and sucked ravenously.

To my horror, the sensation sent a searing heat through me, burning into my insides. . . and lower. I frantically resisted the urge to struggle away from him, away from that revolting feeling.

My teeth cut through my lip, drawing blood. I _had_  to force myself to endure this.

"Let me feel. . . how alive you are," he groaned between slow, agonizing gulps. His voice vibrated through me, which, I was disturbed to notice, only aroused me further.

His hands began to wander on my skin, tugging out short gasps from my lips. I flinched, trying in vain to keep my body from betraying me. But the bite was beginning to spread its effect: I could feel my strength weakening, and the insistent desire to melt into this vampire now taking advantage of me.

I couldn't stop a single tear rolling down my cheek as I hoped Shuu would be done with me soon.

But he grunted and pulled my body back down, forcing me on top of his clothed manhood once again.

I met his gaze briefly, a plea for him to stop laced in my eyes. A flash of something besides lust and hunger flickered back at me, surprising me. I didn't miss it, even as he dug me mercilessly into his hips.

"I don’t know when I’m alive. . . if you’ll let me feel that. . . then maybe. . ."

His words were as heavy as his gaze.

I didn't have a chance to wonder what he meant before he drove his fangs harshly into my collarbone, his teeth cutting to the bone. I whimpered, but not because I felt the pain. His hands had slid down to cup my buttocks, and began to move me against him rhythmically.

My mind screamed in protest, but my body eagerly responded. An abhorrent tightness coiled tight in my belly, and I gripped roughly to Shuu's upper arms, nearly panting as I struggled to resist it.

A startle suddenly ran through my body as the bell rang, signalling the end of the last class.

The sound gave me the permission I needed to finally shove away from Shuu.

My arms pushed backwards against his chest, but my movements only encouraged Shuu to press me harder to him. He breathed heavily as he continued to drink and moan and grind me against him.

The tighter he held me, the closer I got to losing it. "Shuu, stop! Someone will see us! We have to go!" My voice carried an urgent, breathless tone as I held back my body's desire for release. I twisted my hips helplessly under his grip, but he held me down, forcing me to receive the pleasure. "Shuu! Please stop!"

And just as I predicted, the door loudly swung open as a small group of teenage girls stumbled through, their voices almost shrill as they talked and giggled.

They paused and went silent for a second as they took in the sight before them. To them it simply looked like a couple heavily making out. They couldn't see what Shuu was really doing.

The girls giggled even louder and moved to the opposite area of the garden.

The blonde vampire finally pulled back and I felt his hold on me slacken.

I instantly jumped off him, trembling and weak, but mostly mortified. Trying to force air down my dry throat, I hurriedly fixed my bra and buttoned my shirt, turning my back to the door. I could barely stand as my legs shook and dizziness rocked my head. But I blinked it back as I frantically closed my shirt.

Shuu stood up without a second look at me and walked away, calm and composed, as if nothing had happened. Disbelief stretched across my face when I glanced over my shoulder and watched him disappear behind the double doors without a word.

My frenzied hands slowed as I cinched my jacket around me. I knew I should go after him, make sure he intended to contact his father for me. But a hot wave of nausea overwhelmed me and instead, I tucked my arms around my stomach as I moved to a secluded area of the garden, out of view of the door and the noisy group of girls.

I hovered by the fence, steadying myself with my hands and forehead against the wrought iron. The parking lot below was streaming with students and lines of cars ready to leave the school for the weekend. But I barely saw them as my eyes blurred, their voices unable make it past the numb silence clogging my ears.

All I could feel was the shame grating beneath my chest at how my body had reacted to Shuu. I knew that it was a biological response, that it wasn't my fault, that the euphoria made me feel all the physical sensations so much stronger. It could have been worse, I knew. _Much worse._

In fact, _much worse_  was still inevitably waiting for me in my future.

But that knowledge didn’t stop the humiliated tears washing down my face; I was still horrified and disgusted with myself. I couldn't shake the feeling that I had been in danger of plummeting over some bottomless cliff: that a part of me had _wanted_  to let go, to just give in and allow my body the physical release he had forced on me.

I only hoped it hadn't been for nothing.

My shoulders shuddered as I heaved in a half-sigh, half-sob. But then I mopped the wetness from my cheeks. I didn't want to degrade myself further by letting Shuu have the satisfaction that he had reduced me to tears.

Though, the thought brought back his confusing words: "I don't know when I'm alive." 

Forcing me to feel pain and humiliation somehow made him feel more alive?

My stomach churned inside out. I wondered if there was some sort of sad, lonely truth to that for all the brothers.

 _No, I can't do that_ , I reprimanded myself. _I can't feel any sadness for any of them._

I shivered, knowing that I was lying to myself, but trying my best to shove the feeling away, along with the bile piling in my throat. I _couldn't_  focus on that now.

I lifted my chin and stared at the moon for a moment, its light filling the sky. I wished that I could block out the vampires and the effects they were having on me in the same way the moon blocked out the stars. 

As I walked downstairs and pushed through the front entrance door, a chill ran down to my feet at the sight of the waiting limo. The atmosphere around me was pulsing with life and excitement, the students loud and carefree. But my vision was tunneling, homed in on the taxi to my prison. Everyone else was looking forward to that happy, weekly event: the weekend.

For me, it only held the frightening possibility of _much worse._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, it's the full moon. Ya'll know what that means. . .
> 
> *******
> 
> Also, I forgot to mention when I first published this chapter that Shuu's quote about not knowing when he is alive is an actual quote from his original drama cd (and I think I used a couple other quotes too): [Shuu's CD Vol.6](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2012/06/09/diabolik-lovers-sakamaki-shu/) All credits go to the translator.


	28. Behind a Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teddy torments Sayuri's conscience and she decides to do something about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys... California was a lot of fun, but I've been having some issues getting back into the groove of writing. I hope I can still churn out a good story for you guys. I appreciate all the support and I hope you enjoy this update :-)
> 
>  

* * *

 

 

After the limo dropped us off at the front door of the mansion, I bolted into the house, intending to hole myself up in my room for the weekend. Rationally, I knew it wasn't any safer there than anywhere else in the house, but some illogical part of my mind simply _felt_  safer in my room.

But on the way there, my feet stopped short in the dining hall's archway.

Kanato's teddy still sat in that chair.

It stared at me, its uncovered eye boring into me. The back of my throat suddenly felt dry and sharp as another flood of guilt overran me, guilt that I'd been feeling ever since I learned why the damned stuffed animal was sitting there in the first place.

 _Christ, stop it!_  

A resentful rage at myself simmered deep within my body. Grinding my teeth, I forced my legs to move, forced my mind to forget the innocent way Kanato had asked me to be his mother, before he'd exploded in a murderous rampage. 

Climbing up the stairs two at a time, I rushed down the hallway and quickly shut my bedroom door behind me.

With an exhausted sigh, I realized that I was still the frightened mother rabbit, petrified as she ran to her burrow.

Biting back the tears that threatened to overwhelm me, I wondered, Would I always be this scared? Was this fear my new normal? Or was there any way to overcome the fear, to find a way to coexist with the vampires without it?

Reiji and Laito and Kanato all flashed in my mind, and I shivered violently.

_No. I don't think there will ever be a time when I'm not afraid of them._

I began pacing in my room, my footsteps clipping steadily on the shiny wood floors as my thoughts turned back to the teddy bear -- and to Kanato, still imprisoned in the dungeon. Would the punishment change his anger towards me?

_I doubt it._

Some part of me actually wondered if he'd be even _more_  pissed. It didn't seem as if these vampires would take kindly to being punished because of a human, a species they looked down upon.

I stopped pacing and stared at the door for a long moment, as if it were that bear peering back at me, the silent accusation written across its face: "Do you know how sad Kanato is without me? I'm his only friend, the only comfort he has had since childhood."

Slowly, my mind seemed to come to a decision before I was even really aware of it. I didn't quite understand what my body was doing as it reached for the doorknob and took a step into the hallway.

Pausing, I closed my eyes, nervously running my hand through my hair.

_Oh god. . . This house must be making me insane._

On shaky legs, I found myself walking down the stairs. I almost wished I would encounter another vampire, someone who would stop me from this terrible idea. But, as my luck would have it, no one was roaming the halls.

When I came to the empty dining room, I stood straight and still, pensively gazing at the bear.

The logical part of my brain tried to convince me that returning the bear to Kanato in the dungeons might be a symbol of a peace offering. In a sense of self-preservation, I thought maybe Kanato would be less likely to be angry, perhaps even less likely to attack me in the future if I showed a gesture of good will.

But even the rational part of me knew the real reason I was standing there, staring at the stuffed animal that had tormented me for days, was because I felt an irrational guilt for the mentally disturbed vampire, a twisted sympathy that I knew I shouldn't feel.

And that part of me wanted very much to ignore the bear and march right back upstairs.

Instead, my hands folded across the teddy, picking him up.

_What the hell am I doing?_

Ice spiked through me, my heart beating painfully with the strength of its palpitations. I held the stuffed animal close to my chest, as if the creepy thing might somehow comfort me.

Inhaling a heavy breath, I forced my legs foward, not missing the irony that just a little while ago I had forced my legs to walk _past_ this insanity.

Somehow my mind remembered the way to the dungeons. I had been frightened beyond belief when Reiji had brought me there, and I was surprised the path had been imprinted into my memory.

However, my fear of the place was also imprinted in my mind. As soon as I began the descent down the spiral staircase, my throat clenched shut, the air clawing to get into my lungs.

I swallowed back the ballooning fear and tried to get myself under control. Clutching the railing, I pushed my wobbling knees further underground.

As I finally reached the bottom and stepped forward into the walkway, a sharp attack of near full-blown panic almost immediately pressed me up against the wall. My entire body trembled, reacting as if on reflex to the sight of the dungeons before me. 

My legs suddenly seemed incapable of holding me up, and I tightly gripped onto the ancient stone. 

_Damn it, Sayuri, get ahold of yourself!_

I'd never had a panic attack before, but the dungeons seemed to be sending me into one.

Shutting my eyes, I gulped in air, willing myself to calm down.

My breathing began to ease a moment later when a soft, gentle sound wafted through my ears. My eyelids fluttered open, peering down the hall curiously.

_What is that?_

The sound was like a soothing breeze, beckoning me to find its source. My legs moved unsteadily, but at least strong enough to carry me.

As I walked past the cells, the sound became a little clearer: Someone was singing.

"Kanato?" I called out, my voice echoing through the underground tunnel.

The singing continued as if it hadn't heard me. I picked up my speed, trying to close in on the sound.

However, I instantly stopped short, my heart lunging into my throat as I came face to face with the cell where Reiji had _punished_  me.

The room was darkened without a torch, but I could still see the table lined with whips, the chains hanging down from the ceiling.

All at once, a terrified sob tore through my determination not to panic.

Clinging to the teddy, I took off running, as if the dungeon itself would reach out and grab me. My shoes smacked loudly on the stone floor, echoing the sound of the whip in my ears. Once again I felt the agony of my skin being sheared from the flesh. I heard the rattle of the chains as my body gave out beneath the unforgiving steel.

Cold sweat broke out across my neck as I blindly ran, turning corners and putting as much distance from that horrifying place as I could.

I finally stopped when pain seared through my lungs, making me gasp for air. The panic that I was fighting so hard to keep at bay had gotten the better of me. 

I hated that the vampires could cause so much fear to explode inside me that it completely consumed me; I hated that they had that power over me.

Leaning against the wall, I realized I couldn't hear the voice singing anymore. Trying to hold in my panting breaths, I listened through the blood rushing in my ears. But the dungeon was eerily quiet.

Whirling around me in all directions, it dawned on me that I was _lost_.

_Oh god. . . What am I doing? Why did I come down here?_

"Kanato?" I called out, my voice quivering.

Hesitantly, I started walking.

I came to the end of the hall where the tunnel split into two paths. My back stiffened as I listened, and debated which way to go, when I heard the singing begin anew.

Following the sound, I turned left and wound my way through several more turns as the singing became louder and louder, and more beautiful. I was entranced by it, and didn't spend a second thought wondering why the dungeons had so many cells. . . or how I was going to get back.

It was as if it were the only sound in the world, that voice singing Scarborough Fair.

It pulled me around another corner, to a pitch black cell at the head of a long hallway.

The voice drifted off and became silent as I hesitated at the edge of the hall, staring into the seemingly endless gulf between the cell and where I stood. 

A creeping unease slithered down my spine. Carefully, I approached the bars. Darkness covered the cell like a blanket, and my eyes stretched to adjust to the blackness, my ears straining to hear the smallest sound over the pounding of my heart.

Then my heart stopped altogether as my gaze finally focused and landed on the small vampire.

Caution left me, along with my breath.

"Oh my god! Kanato!"

I rushed to the cell door, pulling at it frantically. But the heavy iron wouldn't budge.

My hands swiped across the metal, searching for a handle or a bolt-lock or something to open it with. But there was only a keyhole under my fingertips  

 _A key! I need a key!_  

My eyes darted up and down the walkway, scanning for hooks on the wall or anything where keys might hang. But only scattered torches rested on the stone.

My attention turned back to the vampire, my chest wrenching. "Kanato! Can you tell me where I can get the key to this door?"

His lilac hair sprinkled across his face as he lay in the corner, face up on the stone floor, his arms outstretched beside him. Slowly he turned his head, his heavy, dark eyes glazed and weak.

Tears spilled down my cheeks as I fully took in his condition. Someone had slashed open his wrists, his forearms, his throat. He was bleeding out, the crimson streams draining through his clothes and puddling all around him. The wounds were caked with dried blood, but still oozing, as if they had cut him open when they first imprisoned him. But the wounds weren't healing, just bleeding and tormenting him.

"Oh, Kanato," I whispered, my voice cracking. No matter what he had done, he didn't deserve _this_.

 _Oh god, I should have come sooner._  I swallowed the thick lump in my throat. _All those days I sat there convincing myself he deserved it. . ._

"What are you doing with Teddy?" His tone was soft, fragile, as if he wasn't sure his voice would work.

Sadness clutched me.  _How did he possibly sing with those wounds?_

"Teddy, why did you let her touch you?" His voice became louder, angrier.

I had forgotten the bear was tucked under my arm. Sniffling, I was unconcerned about the stuffed animal. My priority was getting Kanato out of there.

"Kanato, I need you to tell me how I can open this door," I prodded. But he seemed not to hear me, his eyes fixed on the bear. I looked down at it, and then held it out in front of me. "I brought Teddy for you. I thought he was lonely without you."

Lethargically, Kanato began inching himself to his feet.

"No, don't stand! Stay right there. If you tell me where I can get the key, I'll bring Teddy to you," I said urgently, not wanting him to hurt himself further.

But Kanato ignored me as if I hadn't even spoken. "You do NOT have permission to touch Teddy!" Faster than I thought possible with those injuries, he was at the door, grabbing the bars, shaking them weakly as I stumbled back. "Give him to me!"

Fear crackled in my veins at the anger in his face, reminding me of the fury that had led him to nearly kill me.

But the fear couldn't erase the sadness I felt. Up close, I saw just how much his injuries, and the time in the dungeon, had drained his physical appearance. He was shockingly harsh to absorb; the dark circles under his eyes were much more pronounced and heavy, his skin was much more pale, almost as if he were one of his own corpse dolls. His face was sunk in, his cheekbones sharp. There was a sorrow that clung to him, pushing down on his body from the outside in. When I last saw him, it was madness that had radiated from him, and it was easier to see him as a monster then. But not so much now, especially when he stared at me with that anguished look on his face.

_Christ, what did his father do to him in here?_

Timidly I stepped forward, reaching out and gently passing the bear through the old, rusting iron. Kanato softly, lovingly, took it, bringing it to his chest and burying his face into it.

"Teddy, oh, Teddy," he cried, sobs breaking his voice.

My fingers glided across the wetness growing on my own face. How could Karlheinz be so cruel to his own son? Cutting him open and letting him bleed out. . .  _for_ _days_. My mind couldn't grasp how a parent could be that devoid of humanity towards their own offspring.

 _But they are demons. They don't have a sense of humanity_ , I tried to remind myself.

But a part of me wondered just how true that was as I recalled Subaru protecting me from Laito, and Ayato healing my wounds from Reiji's whip.

Kanato eventually looked up from his teddy, remembering my presence. The darkness of his cell mirrored the shadows under his eyes and across his face. "Why are _you_  crying?" he asked between clenched teeth.

"I. . . I didn't know that he would hurt you. I'm. . . I'm sorry. . ." I was apologizing, _again_. But I couldn't help it. The appalling sight of him twisted my insides, clawing at me as if _I_ were the injured one.

"I don't need that," Kanato growled, so low it was almost inaudible.

My brow wrinkled. "I. . . don't understand," I said uncertainly.

"What don't you understand?!" he cried, fury narrowing his eyes. "I don't need your compassion! I don't need love and pity and hope and all those STUPID _HUMAN_  THINGS!"

The force in his voice took me by surprise. But it was the anguish in his words that pained me. 

"Kanato!" My eyes widened in alarm as he suddenly crumpled to the floor. 

Kneeling down in front of him, I saw just how deep the wounds were, still draining blood through the harsh slashes. His head braced forward against the bars, his eyelids still open, but only just.

I swallowed heavily, attempting to relax the tense muscles in my throat as I pushed out words I never thought I'd say. "Well if you don't want my compassion, then what about my blood? Would you take that?"

Kanato's eyes were dark lavender and cold as ice as they stiffened with doubt, assessing me with something not unlike suspicion or contempt.

Shrugging off my school blazer and letting it fall to the floor, I rolled up the sleeve of my white dress shirt, holding the exposed skin of my wrist and forearm to Kanato. 

_Jesus, what the hell am I doing?_

My shoulders rose in a weary sigh. I had to quit asking myself that question. There was no logical answer anymore.

Kanato seemed reluctant to take my arm, as if suspecting some trick because I was offering it willingly.

"It will heal you, won't it?" I asked him. It was an educated guess. I didn't know for sure if it would work.

Before I could say another word, Kanato reached through the bars and tightened his fingers around my arm. Jerking me forward, he pulled my wrist through and bit down violently.

I couldn't stop a scream as it ripped its way out of my chest. "Goddamn it, Kanato! You don't have to bite so hard!" 

He wrenched his fangs out for just a second to say, "I shouldn't have to remind you that I don't like NOISY THINGS!"

Anger and irritation quickly passed through my chest, but I bit down on my tongue before I made things worse. I didn't want to upset him, I just wanted to heal him.

I shook my head at myself. I never imagined I’d do such a thing -- offering a part of myself to heal a vampire who had killed so many people, a vampire who had tried to kill _me_.

But no matter what they had done, I couldn't stand to see any creature suffer.

As Kanato's gulping slowed, I watched in amazement as his wounds healed right before my eyes. The skin closed shut, healing much faster than my injuries did, though I did notice that over time, my own healing abilities had gotten quicker. I wondered if one day I would heal as fast as them.

A brief wave of sadness washed over me as I thought back to how I was so sick before all of this, how my body _never_ healed.

Kanato eventually pulled away and licked his bloodied lips, raising his eyes to mine. He studied me carefully as he hung onto my arm.

I held his gaze, noting that his entire appearance already looked better. I was feeling fuzzy from the bite, and I almost gave him a hint of a smile.

All at once I yelped in bewilderment.

Kanato had stretched his arm out to claw at my shirt. In the space of a heartbeat, he ripped my ribbons and popped off the first few buttons of my shirt, jerking the collar off my shoulder.

"Kanato! What are you doing!" I gasped out, struggling against his hold still on my arm.

"Hmm. The marks I made are gone. You healed from silver?" He ran his cold fingers over the area where he had stabbed me with the fork.

I squinted at him in confusion. "Reiji healed me. Do you know anything about why silver affects me?"

Kanato shrugged shoulders. Pulling his arm back through the barsbars, he ripped his own shirt off his shoulder, all the while keeping an iron grasp on my forearm.

"Here," he said, leaning his upper body forward and putting my hand on his shoulder. "Use those nails of yours to hurt me."

My back straightened in shock, and I tried to draw my arm back. "I'm not going to hurt you, Kanato. I just _healed_  you because I didn't want to see you hurt."

"I don't care about that!" he snarled. "Just hurry up and do it already!"

Kanato jerked harder on my arm, pressing my hand down into his cold, pale skin that was splotched with his dried blood.

"No!" I strained against his grip, leveraging my other arm against the bars and pushing hard, but my strength was already depleted from his bite. "I won't do that!"

"Then I'll just force you to!" he yelled, his eyes dark, determined.

I clenching my fist tightly, my fingers curled into my palm. But Kanato easily pried them open and thrust my fingers down into his shoulder.

I watched helplessly as fresh blood bloomed against the deep trail he carved with my nails.

Tears welled in my eyes. "Why are you doing this?" I asked, almost choking on the words.

Kanato seemed to consider me thoughtfully for a moment as the blood pooled around my fingertips and the tears fell down my face.

Why was he making me hurt him? Did he want me to take revenge? Was that somehow his way of saying he felt bad for what he did?

"Why?" I blinked at him, my mind in shambles, but wanting to understand.

"Come closer," he finally said. "I'll tell you."

Cautiously, I did as he asked.

When he had attacked me before, I had sensed the danger rolling off of him like it was a tangible _thing._  But as I inched forward, none of that malice manifested in him now. I hoped that I wasn't wrong, that he wasn't tricking me, or preparing to kill me.

His hand slid through the bars and cupped the back of my neck. The chill of his fingers permeated through the strands of my hair. I trembled, but the fear was cautionary, an instinctive response to _any_  of their touches. Surprisingly, I wasn't truly afraid.

Gently he nudged me forward until my forehead touched the frigid iron bars. I felt the breath catch in my lungs as he leaned his head to mine. He hovered there, studying my face curiously -- before softly closing his lips over mine.

For some reason, I didn't struggle, even though I tasted the remnants of my coppery blood on his mouth.

My lids slid down over my eyes and I let his soft lips linger, surprised and almost fascinated by the tenderness in the kiss. Maybe it was the euphoria from his bite that was affecting me. Or maybe I sensed something else. A thank you, perhaps?

Dizziness crowded my head as Kanato slowly backed away, his eyes never leaving mine. He stood up, his face stamped with an unreadable expression.

Grasping his teddy and locking it between his arms, he quietly severed his gaze and wandered to a corner of the cell, one without a massive puddle of blood.

"Wait, Kanato. Where can I get the key to let you out of here?" I asked, trying not to think about the fact that I just let a mass murderer kiss me.

The small vampire's form faded into the darkness of the room. He was silent for a long while. I thought perhaps he hadn't heard me, when he finally replied, "What does it matter to you?"

I painfully gulped as I collected my thoughts.

 _It shouldn't matter to me. As long as he isn't injured, I'd be safer if he were kept in there_.

But even that didn't feel right.

"I don't know," I said at last.

That seemed to be the best answer I could give. It was honest, at least.

Another long silence filled the space around Kanato, swallowing him like the darkness. I shifted my legs under me as I sat on the dirty floor, bending and crossing my knees in front of me, resting my elbows on them, spreading my skirt so that it covered any indecent parts. 

As the quiet settled around me, I began numbly twisting and untwisting my hands, unable to stop wondering what I was doing here.

"Only Father has the key." Kanato's soft voice eventually floated from the dark corner. 

"Oh." Disappointment parched the back of my throat. "And it definitely looks like you can't teleport out of here, or whatever it is you guys can do."

A smothered chortle escaped his chest. "Of course we can't. She is pretty stupid isn't she, Teddy? These are the vampire cells. No one can teleport in or out. Right, Teddy?"

 _Yeah, I guess that was a stupid thing to say,_ I thought with weariness. _Obviously he would have done that already if it were possible._

Glancing behind me at the stone wall, I decided to scoot backwards. I grabbed my blazer off the floor and spread it out by the wall. Brushing the dirt off the back of my skirt and thighs, I slipped off my shoes and stockings. I settled down onto the jacket, leaning my exhausted back against stone.

Without being entirely conscious of it, I made the decision to stay. I felt safer down here with one imprisoned vampire than upstairs with four free ones. 

I nearly laughed aloud at my thoughts. _Safer. Here. In the dungeon._

I rubbed the back of my neck and sighed. 

After a few moments, I told Kanato, "I'm supposed to be meeting with your father soon. If he hasn't let you out by then, I'll ask him to."

At least, I hoped Shuu intended to contact their father. He hadn't actually confirmed that, I realized with a shiver.

Pushing away the lingering feelings of what had happened with Shuu, I thought of all the things I needed to ask the Vampire King. Shards of anxiety pricked my stomach, and I wondered how much he'd allow me to say. Judging by the way he'd punished Kanato, I seemed pretty important to him. I hoped I could use that to my advantage, and that Karlheinz wouldn't show me the same cruelty he'd shown his own son.

Kanato kept quiet for a long while. I felt my eyelids getting heavy, and I thought the petite vampire might have fallen asleep until I heard him whisper something to Teddy.

I smiled inwardly, glad that he had the bear now. I found that I didn't have the energy to admonish myself for being glad about anything relating to the vampires.

"That was a beautiful song you were singing, Kanato," I said, remembering the lovely sound that helped me find him in the maze of cells.

His voice suddenly became rigid when he spoke. "When I sing that song, it only reminds me of the past. I hate that song. Whenever I sing it, all the memories I wish I could erase come back to me. I hate it."

My heart squeezed as I wondered why he had been singing it, wondered what he was thinking about as he lay on the dungeon floor, bleeding and suffering.

Without any prompting, Kanato continued, his voice turning soft, and pained. "When we were children, this is where we all got punished. When we did something wrong, we would be locked in this place all alone. No matter how hard we cried, there was no help. I called. I shouted. But, no one would come."

It felt as if the iron bars of the cell were reaching out and clamping around my chest. The pressure forced my eyes to water.

_How could anyone lock a kid down here?_

My anger and hatred for Karlheinz surged.

As if reading my thoughts, Kanato said, "The one who would lock us up alone in here, was always Mother. Not Father. Mother would always lock me up when I did not do as she wished. This is the first time Father has done so."

The growth of hatred that I already had for his mother -- Cordelia -- flared to life in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't understand why Kanato still seemed to have some affection for her, even still called her "Mother" when she had no right to the title. Ayato's name for her was much more fitting: That Bitch.

A part of me suddenly wanted to rant, to get to my feet and explode, to make Kanato understand just how wrong Cordelia was to treat him that way, what a horrible mother she was.

But, I remained silent. I recognized that Kanato was willingly exposing his vulnerability to me, and I sensed that this behavior was extremely unusual. Whether it was this experience in the dungeon affecting him, or perhaps my actions, or something else, I didn't know. But I didn't want to ruin it with words that might send him into a rampage.

So I bit down on my anger and listened with a heaviness in my chest as his voice continued to sail out of the darkness.

"When Mother would lock me in here, I would keep singing in a loud voice until I was forgiven. I wanted to sing loud enough so that she would hear it. I would sing that song over and over and over again, until my voice had gone hoarse from it, like a canary." There was a sad smile in his tone. "I was the canary that kept on singing until my vocal cords bled."

He paused, and I felt the sorrow in his memory. "But it was never me that she wanted. It was only that _song_."

The soft ripple of the torches swirled with my tears. I wrapped my arms around myself, wishing it was Kanato I could hold, wishing I could hug him tight and absorb some of his pain.

A few days ago, even a few hours ago, I could never have imagined I would have felt this way. But seeing the way he suffered down here, and knowing how he had suffered as a child, and that he still carried that pain with him, ate away at the fear I felt towards him.

There was still a voice in the back of my head that wanted to argue. It wanted to push the images of his _dolls_  to the front of my mind, make me remember the horror he had caused for all those girls, and almost for me.

But here in the dungeon, I found it difficult to reconcile _that_  monster with the vulnerable vampire locked in the cell before me.

As I brushed at the tears on my face and fought with the thoughts in my mind, Kanato surprised me by chuckling. "Remembering all this actually makes me tremble. Look, Teddy, my hands are shaking!"

Kanato burst into a fit of laughter. At the same time, a flash of movement pulled my eyes to the end of the walkway.

My heart stopped painfully in my chest.

A red-haired vampire with a slender build and a black fedora floated out of the shadows.

"I come to visit my baby brother after being gone for days and what do I find? He's _bonding_  with my Bitch-chan!" Laito's mocking voice vibrated through the walls, and all the way through me. "The full moon really does some _strange_  things to us.~"

And just like that, the sense of safety I felt down here with Kanato completely evaporated, replaced by a crushing sense of imminent danger.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Kanato :(. Most of his monologue here comes from the [Kanato VS Subaru' drama cd](http://diabolik-lovers.wikia.com/wiki/Diabolik_Lovers_VERSUS_II_Vol.3_Kanato_VS_Subaru/Translation)(All credits go to the translator)
> 
> *************
> 
> Also, I don't know if Yui's blood has healing powers or not -- I don't think so. At least, I don't remember that ever being mentioned in the game or the cds. But it is essential for my story since Sayuri's blood is different from Yui's.


	29. Delaying the Inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri has to choose if she will keep fighting or just give in to what she knows will eventually happen anyway. *Trigger warning*

* * *

 

_"I regret having no time for some fun~ with you before I leave. But don't worry. When I return, we'll make up for lost time."_

Laito's words rang in my mind as I stood paralyzed in a sort of frozen fascination as the redheaded vampire slowly sauntered toward me down the underground tunnel. 

His denim jacket hung casually over his black and white striped shirt, his red tie and red cargo pants just as loose and relaxed as he, his face bright and full of cunning as he adjusted the fedora atop his wavy hair.

He would have been beautiful, if not for the twisted grin marring his features.

And I couldn't seem to look away. My eyes stayed locked on his with each step he took.

Visions of the things Laito had said and done to me flared in my mind: practically drowning me in the shower, how sickeningly happy he'd been to bind and gag me in the storage room, putting his mouth and hands all over my body, his almost gleeful threats to break me.

And I remembered the promise in his tone before he'd left.

My head was spinning as it gradually tipped back to look up at him when he stopped in front of me.

"Did you miss me, Bitch-chan?" His light and cheerful voice sank a chill through my bones as he planted a kiss on my cheek.

My fear was almost visible in the air, thick and tense with it. My survival instincts screamed at me to run. But logic in the back of my mind spoke to me calmly, almost mockingly, _You can't outrun him. And where are you going to go? You're lost down here._  

I swallowed hard, recalling Laito's attack at school, how resigned I had felt then, how I had thought about just giving up and letting him do whatever he wanted to me, to just get it over with.

But that feeling was exactly what he was looking for, a way to crack my armor.

I couldn't let that happen here too.

Laito broke me out of my thoughts as he said, "Were you giving Kanato a strip show?" He stepped back, his gaze traveling a lazy path over my chest and down my legs. "By all means continue!~"

My mind was two steps behind, and I didn't understand what he meant, until I realized how I must look, with my blazer on the floor, along with my socks and shoes. I glanced down at my shirt and saw that it hung open dangerously low between my breasts, where Kanato had ripped the buttons off. I quickly grabbed the white fabric and held it closed from Laito's intruding eyes.

"Laito." Out of his dark corner in the cell, Kanato spoke up at last, as if his mind was just as behind as mine. "You were gone? Where did you go?" I noticed his voice was stiff and even.

"I just came back from a verrry~ interesting visit to Europe," Laito said without taking his gaze off me. He reached out to cup my face in his hands.

I twisted my head to avoid his touch, pointing my eyes over my shoulder, down the hall behind me. I was only half-listening as I debated with myself: run or face the inevitable? 

But Laito knew how to get my attention. "Germany is quite beautiful this time of year."

My head snapped back to him at the sound of my home country. Laito's eyes were glistening, ready for my reaction, and I regretted my instant response. The shock on my face obviously pleased him, and it sickened me that I just gave him more power over me. But the impact of his words sickened me even more.

 _What was he doing in Germany?_  My heart shuddered in my chest. _Akio!_

"What did you do to my son?" Without thinking, my hands grabbed his jacket and yanked. "What did you do to him?!" I meant to shout it, but it came out hoarse and broken.

Laito softly tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear and smiled. "Don't worry, Bitch-chan. I wasn't there for your dear, sweet child. But I did notice how _much~_  he looks like you."

A knot of emotion strangled my stomach and thickened my voice. "You saw him?"

"Ah, from a distance. He's _quite_  well-protected. Well, from one vampire, at least."

Laito regarded me quietly as I soaked in this information. Could I believe him? Was Akio safe in Germany?

Laito didn't seem to have any motive for lying. In fact, I would guess Laito might gain more pleasure by telling me Akio was hurt, and tormenting me with that knowledge.

Tentative, mild relief glided along my nerve endings and pooled in my eyes. But I wouldn't let my guard down yet, not until I had proof.

"Hmm. . . I have sooo much I could tell you." Laito's glinting gaze turned dark, appraising me with interest. His hand came up to gently skim the edge of my cheekbone, wiping away a loosened tear. "There is sooo~ very much I learned about you." 

"But you aren't going to tell me, are you?" I leaned away from his touch, my eyes narrowing. 

"My offer still stands, you know," he giggled. "I'll tell you everything I know--"

"Yeah, if I just obey everything you say," I interrupted, finishing the awful sentence. "Go to hell."

Laito's hand slid behind the nape of my neck. "We're already _in_  hell, Bitch-chan." His voice dropped to a whisper as he leaned in and pressed his lips to my ear. "You know I'll just _make~_  you do whatever I want, don't you?"

My blood ran cold, my knees nearly giving out. I was painfully aware of the truth in those words. They were the reason I feared him so much. I saw the void in his eyes, the void he filled with cruelty. A slice of sadness cut through my chest at the sudden memory of what had _caused_  that void. His mother had passed her cruelty on to him, forced it on him. And now that same cruelty was being directed at me.

"After all, you _are_  a being made entirely for us. A toy for us to _use_  however we want." He rolled the words around in his mouth as if savoring the possibilities of what he would do to me.

I couldn't suppress a whimper as I tried to struggle away from him, away from his delighted chuckle, away from the horrid reality in his words.

"Laito." Kanato's tone was low and calculated, brimming with something that sounded like anger. "It seems you are doing something that Kimiko-san does not like."

I paused, astonishment widening my eyes as I turned my head to the small vampirevampire who was glaring icily at his triplet.

Had I hear him right? Was Kanato. . .  _defending. . ._  me?

Laito didn't say anything to his brother at first. His eyes stayed on me, studying me, his expression steeped in a curiosity I didn't understand, like I was a piece of a puzzle he was trying to put together.

Then he dropped his hold on the back of my neck. Turning from me, he walked up to Kanato, eyeing him with amusement. "Ah~. Have you already grown attached to our Bitch-chan too? It seems she's had _such_  an effect on everyone~."

The second Laito stepped away from me, my mind began racing. The vampires' voices faded into the background as I looked over my shoulder. A dead-end stood at the end of the hall behind me. I turned to the other side of the hall, and my shoulders fell. Unless I was able to skirt around Laito, he blocked the only way out.

My eyes circled back to Kanato as he argued with his triplet. A part of me was touched by Kanato's unexpected behavior, but I knew it didn't matter if he was being protective or not. Right now, he couldn't help me. Not from behind those bars.

_"These are the vampire cells. No one can teleport in or out."_

Kanato's words flared in my mind, and my heart suddenly stumbled in my chest.

I peered down the dead-end again, this time with my eyes searching. I squinted, but it was too dark, the torchlight too low to tell for sure. I had to get closer.

Laito appeared to be taunting Kanato, but their words didn't make it past the roaring in my ears as I concentrated on the plan forming in my head.

I took a wary step back, and then another, fighting against leaden legs as I crept away from Laito one bare foot at a time.

With his attention on his brother, I chanced another look behind me as I continued slowly inching backwards. Yes, several cells away, at the end of the hall, there _was_  an open door. From what I could tell, it was the same as the others -- no handle or bolt-lock, just a keyhole.

But could I make it?. . . Was it even worth it to try?

I swallowed heavily, trying to wet my suddenly very dry throat. Locking myself in a cell would only buy me time. It wouldn't save me in the end. I would only be _delaying_ the inevitable. Laito would never stop coming after me, he'd already made that much perfectly clear.

A sudden quiet took over where quarreling voices had been, and my head whipped back around.

"Bitch-chan, where are you sneaking off to?"

Knives of fear stabbed my insides as I turned to find Laito watching me intently, hungrily, as if he _wanted_  me to run, _wanted_  to hunt me down.

_He probably does._

Slowly, he took a step towards me, his eyes gleaming with anticipation. My body moved without any guidance from me, automatically retreating back another step.

"Laito! Do NOT take my prey!" A fierce growl accompanied Kanato's shout, and even from where I was standing, I could see his knuckles turning his pale skin even more white as he gripped the bars.

"Ah~ah. Why do I have to keep reminding everyone?" Laito clicked his tongue in disapproval as he pressed closer. "This Bitch-chan belongs to all of us."

But as Laito leered at me, his predatory eyes clearly stated that I belonged to _him_  right then, as _his_  prey, his _toy_. And he wasn't allowing me to escape whatever unspeakably cruel things he had planned for me this time.

Suddenly something inside of me broke loose. _I don't care if it's inevitable! I'm still preventing it as long as possible!_

Adrenaline shot through my veins as I swiveled on my heels and burst into a run.

The open cell was four or five doors down -- an ocean away. And I was running against the current. But with desperation spurring me, my feet pushed wildly off the stone floor, driving me forward.

"Come on! Come on! Come on!" The words were a panicked prayer in my head and I didn't even realize I was breathing them aloud. Any second I expected an unnaturally strong arm to grab me, or a cold, slender demon to materialize in front of me.

 _It's useless! I won't make it!_  But I kept running, fear controlling the rational part of my brain.

Laito's giggle echoed from behind me. "Where are you going, Bitch-chan? That's a dead-end over there."

I didn't dare look back and risk slowing down, giving him the chance to snatch me. I strained to listen over the pounding of my feet, the ringing in my ears, the blood rushing through my skull. Somehow I could hear his footsteps, careful and methodical.

He wasn't running after me. He was _stalking_  me.

It dawned on me that perhaps he hadn't realized that there was an open cell. Perhaps he thought I was running blindly down the hall, and he planned to corner me at the end. A small flicker of hope dared to emerge amidst the hammering in my chest. 

Frantic tears escaped down my face as the door came within reach. My feet skidded against the stone floor as I hurled myself into the open cell. My body practically left the ground as I swung on the door, my fingers grasping the bars so tightly I thought they might break.

With a cry of panic -- and hope and desperation -- I slammed the door shut. The sound merged with the lock clicking into place, both reverberating throughout the dungeon and sinking into my bones.

I held onto the bars for support, shaking and breathing hard into the silence that collapsed around me.

An almost brutal wave of disbelief and relief washed over me. I truly didn't think I'd make it, and as I caught my breath, I never could have imagined I'd _want_  to be locked in this place again. But for the second time that night, the dungeon gave me an odd sense of safety, one that I couldn't have been more grateful for.

Looking up, I expected to find a very pissed off redheaded vampire coming into view. I dreaded what may happen next. Did I just make things worse for myself? Would he get the key from his father and punish me for my actions?

But instead of playfully malevolent green eyes, an eerie, hollow emptiness filled the underground tunnel.

Cold sweat poured down my back. Faintly, I heard Kanato begin to cry, mumbling inaudibly through his tears. My head swept back and forth, scanning both directions of the hall through the bars, but I couldn't see very far. Where was he? Where did Laito go?

Apprehension slid across my spine, tingling with the awareness that something was _very_  wrong. I held my breath, staring down the walkway, sensing the growing danger.

Then I heard it. A noise from _behind_  me.

As I turned around, everything in my chest stopped -- my lungs, my heart, my blood. My entire body stood frozen against the bars, my skin crawling with terror.

"I didn't realize you were so kinky, Bitch-chan. Wanting me to play with you in here. . . You're such a _bad_  girl.~"

"No," I whispered, shaking my head a horrified fraction of an inch, unable to comprehend what had happened.

At the other end of the cell, Laito had his back to me, perusing through stacks and crates and tables of unknown items. After a moment, he turned, a sly smile slanting his lips as he took a step towards me.

The edges of my vision began to blur. The confines of the cell seemed to magnify, the walls creeping forward, the ground pressing inward, closing around me, suffocating me.

He took another step. And another.

The sound was slow, deliberate. Like the second-hand of a clock ticking away the last minutes of my life. _Tick. . . tock. . . tick. . . tock. . ._

His footsteps were all I heard as he came closer, and I realized that it wasn't the cell closing in on me, it was him, his presence that was suffocating me.

Laito lifted a cold, pale hand and cupped my chin. My entire body shuddered as he forced me to meet the shining cruelty in his eyes.

All at once, I desperately wanted to shout, to kick, to hit, to fight -- all of it screamed so loud inside of me that it hurt. But I couldn't even blink as his gaze bore a hole right through me.

"Such an _indecent_  place you've chosen, Bitch-chan. This is where my father stores all his things of. . .  _interest_. Is this your way of showing how much you missed me?" He cocked his head to the side, his lips curling into a slow smile that made my stomach heave.

'It's. . . not. . . possible," I managed between constricted breaths. "You aren't supposed to. . . to be able to teleport. . . in here."

"Hmm. . . I _didn't._ Your weak little human eyes just didn't see me slide in before you shut the door." His fingertips threaded through my hair, his voice dark with meaning as he said, "Well. . .  _mostly_  human eyes."

I blinked in stunned silence. " _Mostly" human?_

I had suspected it, but still it came as an utter shock. It took me a long moment before I could gather my wits enough to ask, "What. . . What do you mean?"

Was I not fully human then? Was I part vampire? Something else? 

"Ah, ah." Laito lifted his pointer finger and waved it back and forth mockingly, as if scolding a child. "No answers for you.~ Not unless. . . Well, you know the deal." 

He leaned back and eyed the length of my body, visually peeling off my clothes, waiting for me agree to _obey_  him, to willingly give myself to him, to be his _slave_.

My anger fired at the thought. "You already have my answer to _that_ ," I said icily.

My need for information would have to wait. I needed to find a way to survive _him_  first.

"Come on, now. It's the full moon. I'll be _extra_  affectionate~," Laito said, the sickness of his mind bleeding through his casual tone. He reached his hands out and rested his palms on my hips, stroking his thumbs on my abdomen as he spoke. "How about for tonight you tell me how you want it? Hmm?"

" _'How I want it?_ '" I tried to shrink away, but the bars were a cage behind me. "How about _not_  touching me?" I said angrily, my eyes furious. I only hoped he couldn't see the terror still stirring behind them.

"Aww, Bitch-chan," he fake-pouted, his hands traveling slowly up my ribcage. "I just want to show you my love, my _tender_  love."

The instant he said those words, a string of horrible images flashed through my mind, images of those very same words being spoken to him within Ayato's memory. By his mother.

A searing of pain suddenly ripped at my heart. My gaze snapped up to Laito's, and my chest hurt even more at the darkness I found lurking in his eyes, at the shadows pressing in on him.

My head began to pound, my mind splitting in two as logic and emotion went at war within me. This vampire was terrorizing me, he wanted to hurt me, he was going to _rape_  me.

And for this insane moment, I suddenly felt _compassion_  for him, for the child that was hurt in the most despicable way, and even for the twisted adult that she turned him into.

I could no longer ask myself, "What is wrong with me?" Because the only possible answer was, "Everything. All of it. This entire fucked up situation."

Laito's features hardened, his eyes narrowing. The wide grin slowly fell from his face. He stared at me, but his eyes didn't just look -- they invaded. I gulped as he delved into me, _seeing_  the sudden shift in my emotions.

But I saw something in him as well: The darkness that vile creature -- his _mother_  -- created had broken him, cracking him like glass, forever warping him. And I saw in his eyes that the emotions which had suddenly welled up within me -- the sadness, the sympathy, the compassion -- were not welcome, that he would twist every morsel of those emotions into something he could use to break _me_.

The realization sent fear sailing down over the sudden grief for him, bringing with it an awareness that Laito very well could succeed in breaking me.

My chin dropped to my chest. Instead of outsmarting him and delaying the inevitable, I had trapped myself with him and expedited it. And who knew how long we'd be imprisoned down here, or what horrid things were in his father's _collection_  that he would subject me to.

_Oh god. . ._

This damaged, malicious vampire was probably going to hurt me even more after I let my guard down and allowed those unwelcome emotions to show.

_Oh god. . . no._

My knees went weak, and I could feel what little bravery I had coming apart. I knew the rest of me might not be far behind. I wanted to believe that I was strong, that I could endure whatever cruelty he inflicted upon me, but after everything I had already been through, my strength was rapidly weakening.

"Bitch-chan?" Laito's finger moved under my chin, turning my face upwards.

I was met with a perverse glow lighting up his face. A cold sweat broke out all over me and in that moment, I wasn't so sure I would be able to hold on, to keep my mind intact.

I swallowed hard and reached down deep inside myself, gathering whatever strength and courage was left within me. I willed my own mind to keep the determination to stay strong, to keep my spirit alive and whole.

I amassed my defiance into my arms -- and then shoved Laito with as much force as I could muster.

"Don't touch me!" I gritted out.

I knew it wouldn't be enough, not even close. But as long as I held onto my will to fight, I held onto myself.

I managed to take him off guard and he staggered backwards, giving me just enough time to spin around and violently shake the door.

With terrifying certainty, it didn't budge, confirming it was locked.

"Kanato!" I shouted, my hands reaching through the bars, searching for something, anything, that might be different about this door that could help me unlock it. "Is there any other way to open this door?!"

But if Kanato answered, I never heard it.

Laito's arms roughly closed around my small frame from behind, yanking me off the bars, his giggle loud in my ear. "I was _hoping_ you were going to struggle.~"

"No!" I shrieked as everything inside of me snapped.

Wild panic tore out of me as my brain shut down, giving in to the primal fight instinct. Kicking, biting, screaming -- I fought him. My fingers became claws, my teeth like daggers. I scrounged for his eyes, gnawed for his hands.

Laito laughed loudly, the sound echoing through my screams, vibrating into my skin, down into my very cells. I was probably making him more excited, doing exactly what he wanted. But I couldn't seem to stop my body from thrashing. And I didn't want to. Because then my mind would have to face what was going to happen to me.

A sudden crash and a booming, growling voice pummeled through the air behind us.

Laito's laughter died away as he turned toward the noise, taking my writhing body with him.

I inhaled a sharp gasp and froze.

Nothing could have prepared me for the sight of Subaru angrily emerging from the scattered remnants of a broken coffin in the far corner of the cell.

My mouth gaped open, my eyes unblinking. I stared through matted strands of my hair that were strewn across my face.

. . .  _Am I hallucinating?_

I _had_  to be.

I watched in wide-eyed astonishment, incapable of believing it, as he stepped forward.

How could he possibly be _here_?

I studied every inch of him as he moved, the silvery white hair falling over the side of his face, the black jacket hanging over his maroon shirt, the necklace he always wore swaying as he walked, the look of pure hostility in his blood-red eyes as he came closer.

He wasn't real. He couldn't be.

"What the fuck is going on?" Subaru growled, his hands flexing threateningly at his sides.

"Subaru-kun! So _this_  is where you snuck off to! I _thought_ I smelled your scent down here~." Laito's sing-song tone contrasted disturbingly with the way he clutched me forcefully against him.

But Laito's words momentarily broke me out of my shock.

Subaru _was_  real.

I squirmed in Laito's arms, whimpering as the sudden, intense desire to run to Subaru consumed me.

But Laito was latched around me, barricading me with such strength that I could barely breathe. My chest couldn't rise under his arm as I panted, and the tangles of hair were fluttering over my mouth as I labored to take in air.

"You need to get the _hell_  out of here if you don't want to get hurt," Subaru snarled, his voice clipped and sharp. But his eyes were even sharper as he fixed us with a hard glare.

I stared back at him, my gaze wide and terrified -- and pleading. _Help me, Subaru! Please!_  was what I wanted to scream, but sheer terror had swallowed me, freezing the words inside of me. My eyes reached out to him where my voice was failing.

Laito was the one to speak. "Ah, well.~ Problem is, we can't go anywhere," he said with a giggle. "Bitch-chan was feeling _frisky_ and decided to lock us in here!"

Subaru's face went from fury to burning rage as his eyes landed on the closed prison door.

"What the FUCK!" he ground out.

His murderous footsteps nearly cracked the stone under him as he stomped toward the door. An unearthly roar erupted from the vampire's throat, and with jarring, brutal force, his hands hooked around the bars, and savagely shook.

The effect was frightening. His raw power was unlike anything I'd ever seen. I gripped my eyes shut as fragments of the stone ceiling crumbled around us. I trembled under Laito's cold, unyielding arms, fearing the collapse of the dungeon.

But in a moment it was over, Subaru's efforts gone in vain, the iron somehow holding against his inhuman strength.

"Goddamn it!" Subaru cursed, his arm lancing across the bars with violent intensity.

I twitched beneath Laito's hold, the terrifying awareness that we were truly all trapped together rippling through me. 

"Aww, Subaru-kun, you're _scaring_ our Bitch-chan~," Laito clucked through a half-laugh.

He leaned over my shoulder, keeping a steel grip on my chest as his hand gently swiped the hair out of my face, as if he were a lover, concerned about his frightened damsel in distress. I flinched, the gesture sending a wave of nausea through my insides.

But my eyes never left Subaru. They followed him while he angrily stalked up and down the cell, presumably searching for a way out.

 _Please, please, find one,_  I urged within my mind.

"You know there's nothing we can do, don't you?" Laito chirped, looking over at Subaru. "Someone will eventually come looking for us. So you might as well go back to. . . whatever it was you were doing.~" Laito began to chuckle before stopping himself and adding, "What _were_  you doing, anyway? Keeping Kanato-kun company down here?"

Subaru halted his pacing, stopping in front of us. His voice held a deadly edge as he cut through Laito's laughter. "I was getting away from all of _you._

At first I thought he meant his brothers, and part of him probably did. But his eyes looked pointedly at mine, and a jolt of realization shot through my chest. He was down here avoiding _me_.

"Ah, so you were just being your introverted self," Laito jeered, and I felt his shoulders rise as he shrugged. "Well, you can just go back to your coffin -- or, what's left of it -- while I continue my _fun_  with Bitch-chan."

A stricken sob flooded through the fear that was holding my voice hostage. "No!" I finally cried out. "No! Laito, let go of me!"

I wrenched in his hold, my nails digging into his heavy arm across my chest. But the effort was a fraction of the wild abandonment that had taken possession of me before. Now I looked to Subaru to fight where I couldn't.

Tears leaked down my face, pleading with Subaru as they fell. My strength, my words, my actions were not enough to stop Laito. I desperately needed Subaru's help, and it seemed like an impossible stroke of luck that he was actually _here_.

But would he even help me? After what happened between us, would he protect me from Laito once more?

I searched his face for some clue of what he was thinking. But there was none.

"Subaru. . ." I whispered his name in a helpless prayer, my voice imploring him in tandem with my eyes.

His head lowered to meet my gaze, his eyes cutting and sharp, as if they were driving his silver knife into my gut. He was still angry, still hurt. But beyond that, I couldn't read his expression, if he was even considering helping me.

"You know, Subaru-kun," the vampire holding me broke in, " _I'm_  not stingy. Unlike you, little brother, I will _share~_  Bitch-chan."

Laito leaned down over my shoulder, his face coming even with mine as he grabbed my chin. I winced and twisted my neck from his touch, but his fingers dug harshly into my jaw, so hard that I whimpered.

The nauseating cold of his breath wafted against my cheek as he spoke. "We might as well _enjoy_ ourselves while we're in here, don't you think?"

A sick grin curled Laito's lips as his eyes alternated between mine and Subaru's, reveling in our reactions.

But Subaru didn't speak for a long, tense moment. When he finally did, his tone was low and dark.

"I don't care what you do, just leave _me_  out of it."

The breath left me as if I'd been punched in the stomach.

"Subaru. . ." I faltered, unable to speak more than that through my shock.

"What? You think I'm going to save you?" He scoffed angrily. "Well, think again."

Everything within me seemed to stop. The panic, the fear, the hope. My vision tunneled, blackening at the edges, leaving nothing around me except his eyes. For one fleeting second, those scarlet irises took on a solemn, heavy weight, like a part of him regretted what he had just said, like a part of him wanted to help me.

But then it was gone as quickly as it had appeared, his face clearing into a cold, inhumane mask once again.

"Subaru. . . please. . ." I whispered helplessly as he turned.

He glanced back at me hollowly as he walked away, as if he were staring right through me. "I'm a monster, remember?"

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parts of this chapter are inspired by [Subaru VS Laito](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2013/02/20/diabolik-lovers-versus-subaru-vs-laito/) drama CD. All credits for any direct quotes used go to the translator.
> 
> And the part where Kanato defends Sayuri also comes from his route where he says the same thing to Ayato:[Kanato's Route](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2013/04/27/diabolik-lovers-sakamaki-kanato-2/)
> 
> Also, in the [Kanato VS Subaru' drama cd](http://diabolik-lovers.wikia.com/wiki/Diabolik_Lovers_VERSUS_II_Vol.3_Kanato_VS_Subaru/Translation), Subaru says that he often came down to that room and hid in the coffin when Kanato was locked up as a child. He would listen to Kanato sing, and though Kanato never knew he was there, Subaru hoped he would feel less lonely. So that's why I decided to write Subaru hiding out near Kanato ♡, I wanted to tie those two drama CDs together.
> 
> ****************
> 
> I have been meaning to ask, but keep forgetting: how do you guys feel about me writing chapters with the brothers' perspective? I know I did that one with Ayato a while back. I've written others, but I didn't publish them because I wasn't happy with them. And I'm not all that happy with the Ayato one either, after I reread it. So I was thinking maybe it'd be best to stick to Sayuri's perspective. However, if you guys are interested, I can try from the brothers' perspective again and see how it goes. Let me know :-)
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter xD


	30. Playing Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Things are going to take a darker turn from here. I intended to have these darker things happen before now, but I got caught up in writing the long version of this story. So, it took me longer than I expected to get here. 
> 
> The next few chapters in particular are going to be quite dark, darker than I've gone before. They are inspired by the [Subaru VS Laito](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2013/02/20/diabolik-lovers-versus-subaru-vs-laito/) cd, if any of you are familiar with that one. But I take it much further and twist it around and make it my own. You guys have stuck with me this far so I'm sure you'll be fine. But there is some very triggery stuff here and I just wanted to make sure you're properly forewarned. (All credits for direct quotes go to the translator of Subaru vs Laito)
> 
> Enjoy…

* * *

* * *

 

As Subaru walked away, I had this sense of reality sliding down a black hole, and taking me with it.

The dungeon had succumbed to a silence -- a deafening silence which heightened my awareness of too many things all at once: My breathing, stifled in short gasps; the painful beating of my heart in my chest; my body aching as it throbbed with shock and anguish; the tears blurring my vision; the terrifying strength of Laito's arms around me.

But the silence itself was the most frightening of it all. It confirmed I was alone. I was trapped. No one was going to help me.

_Not even Subaru._

I choked back a sob, an absolute heaviness in my chest, as Subaru slowly sat down on the floor, his back against the wall. His eyes were downcast, refusing to look at me.

It wasn't until that moment that I realized Laito was laughing.

"Well, Bitch-chan, Subaru-kun doesn't want to share, so I guess you're all  _mine~_  now!"

All of the fight and defiance within me disintegrated, and I sagged in Laito's hold.

The redheaded vampire seemed to sense my defeat. His arms around me loosened until his touch was nothing but a hand on my shoulder.

Weakness shook in my knees and I draped my own arms around my middle, as if to physically hold myself up. But a hundred emotions were pressing in on me, all too volatile to process, and my body sank underneath the weight, falling to the floor.

The room circled around me. I grabbed onto the stone, my fingertips scraping the floor until I felt the skin split and bleed. Some desperate part of my mind thought that perhaps if I concentrated on stopping the cell from spinning, then I wouldn't have to face the reality that Subaru was just going to sit there, doing nothing, while Laito did whatever he wanted to me.

I squeezed my eyes tight, trying to force my mind to let a numbness take over. Or to evoke a memory, one that would take me to another place, another time. Something -- anything -- that would help me forget the sick, twisted vampire behind me.

But Laito wasn't going to let me shut down. The dirt on the stone floor grated under his shoes as he moved, a subtle shift that edged his body close beside mine. His clothes rustled as he knelt, a shiver playing up my spine along with his hand.

"Aw, Bitch-chan, are you  _sad_  that Subaru-kun doesn't want to play? I know, I am too." I could practically hear his lips puckering in mock sympathy. "Ah, well then, let's see what we can find to cheer us up, shall we?~ Maybe we can even make Subaru-kun  _jealous_!"

Laito chortled as he raised me to my feet, his long, pale fingers wrapped around my arm.

Bile shot up my throat, but I was too shell-shocked to fight as he dragged me across the massive cell.

Weakly, I glanced back at the white-haired vampire who'd just abandoned me. He was glaring at the floor, his mouth curved down in anger. He didn't look up.

"See,~ so many  _fun_  things to choose from!" Laito waved his hand out around him, smiling widely.

My mind whirled in a daze and I stared at my feet, shaking, as I folded my arms across my chest.

But Laito wasn't having that. He took my chin between his icy fingers, lifting my head. "Look around, Bitch-chan," he commanded softly.

I was still trying to disconnect from reality. My eyes hardly registered the array of apparatuses bordering the wall. Most of them I didn't recognize through my bleary vision, except for a contraption which reminded me of a small-sized guillotine, and an iron maiden with its spikes still intact. Both had plastered remnants of dried blood.

"See anything you like?" Laito asked, cocking his head to the side. "I'll let you choose."

I didn't gratify him with a response. Though, I wasn't sure I would have been able to speak even if I wanted to.

"Personally, this one over here is my favorite." He pointed to the corner and my gaze reluctantly followed his finger.

Darkened, dried liquid covered the top of what looked almost like a wooden stool shaped as a pyramid.

"It's called Judas' Cradle." Laito tugged me closer to it. Out of the darkness, I saw the chains hanging from the ceiling over it, and the chains bolted to the floor below it. "Can you figure out how it's used, Bitch-chan?"

I stared dumbly, quivering from head to toe, my terror level rising. The soft voice he used to ask the question only intensified my fear.

At my lack of a reply, he stepped behind me, his cold breath stirring my hair, his voice an obscene, lustful moan. "It's a shameful  _sexual~_  torture device. Would you like to try it? I would  _sooo_  love to see your naked body  _writhing_  from the chains as the tip of the pyramid  _enters_  you."

My eyes bolted wide open in horror, jarring my mind back to life. "No," I gasped out.

 _Oh God._  Was he serious? Or just trying to scare me?

Chuckling breathlessly, he drove me forward, closer to the horrifying contraption. I reeled in terror, frantically angling in his grip.

"No!" I violently pushed back, my bare feet skidding on the stone floor. "Please! Laito, stop!"

"Aw, you don't want to?" Laito pouted dramatically as he paused for a moment, making my fear swelter, before saying, "Hmm, how  _disappointing. . ._  Well, how about that one then?" He seized my jaw, sharply twisting my face and pointing it toward a different apparatus. "It's more suited for you, don't you think?~"

I blinked. The contraption reminded me of an iron maiden, only instead of a coffin-like shape with spikes, it was an upright, cylindrical  _cage_.

"You are like our captive bird, after all," Laito whispered against my ear.

His steel grasp on my arm pulled me toward it. The aged and rusted iron creaked menacingly as he lugged the cage door open. Sharp spikes lined the interior of the cage and even at a quick, terrified glance I could see the dried blood spattered throughout the trap. If he locked me in there, there was no doubt I'd be impaled. Because of my immortality, the cage probably wouldn't kill me, but it would be every bit as painful as the whip. More, probably.

I shuddered violently, my terror reaching new depths. When I had passed by Reiji's whip collection earlier that night on the way to Kanato's cell, I had thought there wasn't anything worse than what Reiji had done to me. But at least I had  _known_  what he would do; he had been perfectly clear in his threat to shear the skin from my flesh. And as horrifying as it was, I had been prepared.

But with Laito. . . the  _unknown_  seemed so much worse. Did he really intend to torture me with whatever horrors were in this cell? Or was he just playing a twisted mind game in his quest to break me? I couldn't read his intentions beyond eventually  _forcing himself_  on me, which would have been bad enough. But even that, I was prepared for. It was this unknown that was terrifying me to the core.

Laito grinned at me in animalistic anticipation, his face cruel, his eyes bright. He signaled with his hand for me to get in the cage.

The fine hairs on my nape raised in realization.

_He's. . . truly. . . sick._

And I didn't know how to play his wretched games to stop him. In panic, I turned toward his brother.

_Subaru, please. . ._

For the briefest of seconds, Subaru's eyes flicked to mine, as if he sensed my need for him. But just as quickly, he looked away, his nostrils flaring in irritation.

I swallowed a dry hollowness in my throat as the finality in his decision hit me.

_He's really not going to help me._

"Subaru-kun still doesn't want to play, does he?" Laito's voice snapped my attention back to him as he pulled me into his chest, his lips resting near my ear. "What can we do to get him more  _interested_ , hmm?"

His whispered hum vibrated against my skin, sending a tremor through my body that I couldn't suppress.

I held my breath as Laito stood back and rubbed his chin in false contemplation. "Ah, I know," he grinned. "A pet bird needs their wings clipped, right?"

 _Oh, shit. What the hell does he mean?_  

His gaze roved down my body and the sinister smile widened across his face. Then, with a quickness I almost didn't register, Laito grabbed the hem of my uniform skirt and pulled. I watched in horror as he tore it off me.

"Stop it! What are you doing?!" I gasped out.

Laito's hands then seemed to move in slow motion as he reached up and snatched my white blouse open.

"No!" I cried out as the unnaturally loud sound of ripping fabric and popping buttons echoed through the cell.

"There," he said with satisfaction, fluttering the sides of my shirt wide open, as if they were the "wings" he'd just "clipped."

My stomach knotted as the edges of the cloth brushed against my ribs, the cold air wafting across my exposed skin.

The vampire licked his lips hungrily, his eyes swooping over my white lace bra and underwear.

I quickly seized the shirt and clutched it shut from his nauseating gaze. The fabric was just long enough to cover my underwear, but not anywhere near long enough to cover the vulnerability and powerlessness flooding over me.

Laito clucked his tongue in disapproval as I covered myself. But then he lightly shrugged his shoulders. "Ah, I suppose that's good enough for now," he smirked with a devious, knowing look. "We still have  _plenty~_  of time for the rest to come off."

His words made my skin prickle with the awareness that he was just getting started. I fought hard to keep the panic and the tears at bay, tasting copper in my mouth as I bit down hard on my lower lip.

Laito pointed into the cage. "Now, in you go, little bird."

The darkness in his tone shivered over my body. "Laito, please don't do this."

"Don't do what? We're just having  _fun_ , Bitch-chan,~" he snickered, cruelly ignoring my plea. "But, you know. . . I've been in your position. I've received  _unbearable_  torture down here. We all have."

I couldn't control the way my chest constricted, or the way my face paled. The memories I had shared with the vampires flared to life in my mind, images of the suffering they endured as children. 

_On top of all that, they were tortured too?_

_Jesus. . ._

Laito threw his head back and laughed. "Are you feeling  _sympathy_  for me? Oh, Bitch-chan! Despite being older, you still have  _sooo_  much to learn!" He drove his fingers through my hair and pulled my face close to his. "There's  _pleasure_  in pain, you know.~"

He stood threateningly over me for a long moment, his breath waving over my lips. His eyes flicked over my face until they landed on my mouth. I tensed, preparing for the possibility of his own mouth coming down on mine.

Instead he nudged me sideways into the cage.

"No! Laito, please!" A scream of panic gripped my lungs as Laito shut the door.

My face closed in a grimace, terrified and waiting for the pain to come. But to my utter surprise, none of the spikes jammed into my flesh.

My chest rose and fell, tears of relief washing over me. My tiny frame fit in the center of the cage, in a space so small I had almost no room to move. If I swayed even a little, I'd bump painfully into a spike.

Numbly, my eyes lifted to find Laito.  _Did he know that would happen?_

The redhead moved in front of the cage, eyeing me amusedly. "You're  _lucky_  you're so  _small_ , Bitch-chan! As you can see, many others over the centuries haven't been as  _fortunate~_  as you," he giggled, his gaze flitting over the old, dried blood blotched across the spikes.

I shuddered at the thought of all the people who had suffered in this cage -- it would be pure torture for anyone only slightly larger than me.

Laito's eyes fell back to mine. "Now, you show off that  _beautiful_  body of yours to Subaru-kun while I find something else to play with you, ok?  _That_  should at least make him interested in what we're doing. I think he has a little  _crush~_  on you, after all," Laito chortled, perusing my half-clothed skin.

My pulse churned and I pulled my shirt closed again, careful not to graze a spike as I moved.

I watched Laito saunter to the stacks of crates, trying not to think about what he might discover there. Instead I wondered why he was fixated on Subaru. Laito seemed to have just as much interest in antagonizing his brother as he did in tormenting me. Was he playing games with Subaru too? To what end?

The thoughts drew my eyes to the white-haired vampire across the cell.

A cold chill dripped down my spine. Subaru was watching me.

I held my breath as he held my gaze without looking away. His face was a dark mask: angry, but underneath that, unreadable.

A hollow ache filtered through me. I realized I wasn't just shocked by Subaru's actions, I was genuinely hurt by them. If what Laito said was true, that Subaru somehow actually felt something for me, why wasn't he doing anything? Why wasn't he protecting me?

_Because of what I said to him._

More than once, Subaru had shown me some small flicker of kindness, had even made me feel safe with him for a brief time.

But I had ruined it after we shared that memory.

I had called him a monster, right after he'd just relived one of his worst childhood memories. And now, perhaps because of me, he was shoving away any sense of humanity he might've had in order to live up to the name.

My eyes welled at the thought.  

"I'm sorry. . ."

My lips moved silently as I mouthed the words to him.

I didn't think about the fact that I was apologizing, again, to one of my captors, someone who'd been complicit in ripping my son and my life away, someone who'd put a knife in my throat, and was now letting his brother torture me.

All I could think was that Subaru had suffered under Karlheinz much more than I had. Yet he'd still shown there was goodness in him, however fragile. And despite everything he'd done, I didn't want that flame to be snuffed out.

Subaru narrowed his eyes, and his anger seemed to fade to confusion. I chewed my lip uncertainly, wishing that his expression would give me some clue to his thoughts.

But then Laito's presence came crashing back into existence, and Subaru broke eye contact with me.

"Ah~,  _these_  might be interesting." The amusement in the redhead's tone sent a wave of terror through me.

_Subaru. . . please._

Would he change his mind? Would he help me?

But Subaru's head was down now, resting on his forearms against his knees. He made no move to stop Laito.

His brother's smiling form approached the cage, and my entire body tensed.

He circled around me, like a snake coiling around captured prey, before he stopped in front of the door. It didn't escape my notice that he had removed his jacket, his tie  _and_  his hat. The black and white striped shirt was also loosened, revealing the slender column of his throat and the smooth, pale skin of his chest.

My eyes locked onto his arm, and fear twined in my gut. Tucked against his hip, he carried a small crate, and I couldn't tell what the contents held.

_Oh god. What does he have planned?_

The bolt-lock on the cage clicked open with an ominous clank.

"Are you ready to come out of there, Bitch-chan?" Laito exuded a mocking innocence within his words, as if he had just allowed me to experience some fine luxury.

I remained frozen in the cage, suddenly wanting nothing more than to stand amidst the bloody spikes until someone discovered us trapped down here.

"Come on out now.~ I promised to be  _affectionate_ , didn't I?"

But the look behind his glistening eyes only held the promise of terror -- and pain.

I couldn't move, and didn't want to, as I eyed the crate under his arm. My chest felt as if the spikes were driving through my lungs, every breath hurting.

Yet as I stood there in a state of paralysis, I found myself wishing that perhaps instead of playing his game, I knew some way to reach him. Laito had suffered down here, his mind twisted by his parents. Kanato had suffered in this place too, and I had never expected his change of heart, especially after he had so viciously tried to kill me. Was the same possible with Laito?

I swallowed heavily, my body trembling.

_No. . . No, it's not._

The dangerous smile had fallen from Laito's face, his eyes darkened to threatening slits. The shadows in his eyes were blacker, meaner, and far deeper than Kanato's -- an endless gulf that probably no one could reach.

And Laito wasn't about to give me the chance.

His long arm stretched inside the cage and grabbed both sides of my shirt around the collar.

"Not obeying your master is a grave sin, you know," he growled in a terrifyingly low voice as he angrily yanked me out.

He wasn't the least careful in his movement. A cry of pain broke out of my lungs when several spikes tore through my blouse, slashing across the skin on both of my arms.

But my cries were cut short as Laito roughly hauled me to within an inch of his face.

"Ah~, I'll have to punish you now." He shook his head from side to side, making a  _tsk tsk_ sound, his tone chirping back to its usual airiness with frightening speed.

My teeth gnawed the insides of my cheeks as I tried to temper the pain running across my arms. I could feel the sticky drain of blood forming over my skin. But the wounds weren't my concern.

Laito's hand released my shirt and grabbed something out of the crate. "I found some fun things to play with. Shall I show you?" He arched a brow but didn't wait for an answer. He held up an odd shaped metal object, long yet bulbous, with two tong-like attachments. "This one is for your lady parts, I  _think_. I'm not really sure how it works, but we'll figure it out."

 _Oh Jesus. . ._ Nausea ripped through me, the sour taste of horror filling my mouth.

An evil grin bent Laito's lips as he put the revolting item back in the crate and picked up another. "And I'm not sure  _what~_  this does. You have any idea?"

Laito held the object up, but I didn't look at it. My wide eyes summoned the courage to look into his. "Just stop it, Laito," I said through gritted teeth. "You already took me from my son. You don't think that was enough to break me?" My voice cracked, as if proving just how much losing Akio did break a part of me. "What more could you possibly want? You've already taken everything from me."

His irises suddenly grew colder and I immediately regretted speaking.

He shifted his weight and regarded me intently. "You  _love_  that child, right?"

My muscles clenched. I didn't want to answer, afraid of where he was going, afraid that no matter what I said, he'd twist it and use it against me. But the words just automatically tumbled out of my mouth. "Of course I do, more than anything."

"Well then, that means you still have  _hope_." Laito softly placed a hand on my shoulder, making me wince at the gentleness in the gesture, a gentleness undermined by the malice in his eyes. "And I still have to take that."

The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.

"After all, you're our bride, you're supposed to love  _us_  now. Right?"

A sob and scream both rose inside of my chest at the same time. But something within me told me to remain silent and I pinched my eyes closed, biting down on my lip.

He wanted to take my hope, and by extension, that meant taking my love for Akio?

The sickness in his mind went even deeper than I had thought.

But the idea of losing the only thing I had left to hold onto my child sent a rush of anger into my veins. There was no way in  _hell_  I would let him take that.

A voice in the back of my mind suddenly called out to me.  _Stay calm, Sayuri. If you get angry now, you'll only be playing into his hands. Stay above it. Don’t let him get to you._

Somehow I maintained rigid control over my emotions, my blue eyes remaining stale as they met his. Yet my knees still shook with fear and doubt. He wouldn't stop until I was broken in the same ways as he. How long could I really hope to last?

"Now, Bitch-chan," Laito said in a voice so calm it set me even more on edge. "Would you like to see what else I have for you?"

He placed the crate on the floor and pulled out a circular object with a long, light-weight chain attached.

"This one is  _perfect~_  for you." He raised the item, pulling it apart with both hands. "It's a  _collar_! Since you  _are_  a  _bitch_ -chan, right?"

I gaped at him, my eyes narrowing. "I thought I was a  _bird_ ," I snapped.

The sound of my voice shocked me. I hadn't intended to speak, to give him the satisfaction that he'd made me angry. But the spark of outrage slipped out, mixing with the humiliation of wearing a damn  _collar_ , though that should have been the least of my worries.

Laito slanted an amused look at me. "Well, perhaps you're  _many things,_ " he said pointedly, and I sensed a hidden meaning behind the words.

But I didn't have a chance to think about it as he moved the  _collar_  toward my neck.

I gulped, a lump of apprehension forming in my throat. It was unlike any collar I had ever seen. As a combination of leather and metal, it still resembled a torture device. A chain was weaved into the leather strap, like a choke collar used for dogs. But it wasn't the chain that panicked me. A set of steel prongs ran along the outer edges of the leather. I suspected that if he pulled on the choker, the prongs would cut into my neck.

I stepped back in fear, but the cage was behind me, trapping me yet again, this time from the outside.

"Raise your hair, Bitch-chan," Laito said slowly, his voice soft as silk, but as sharp as the steel on that repulsive collar. "I'm going to put this on you now."

I tugged at my bottom lip with my teeth. "No, don't touch me with that."

A threatening chuckle escaped him and he leaned in close, pressing me up against the cage, his mouth just inches from mine. "Hmm. . . Would you rather I put you on the Cradle? That's still an option, isn't it?"

Terror spiked up into my throat at the thought of that horrifying contraption. I had no doubt now that he would make good on that threat.

_Damn him!_

I clenched my jaw tight and swallowed back my pride. Both my hands were still protectively clutched around my damaged blouse, concealing the most vulnerable parts of my body. With a deep breath, my fingers reluctantly freed the fabric. I fixed my eyes onto his chest while I carefully gathered the long, tangled hair off my neck and shoulders. My heart pounded in awareness as the shirt fell open, revealing my bra and underwear.

"Good girl,~" Laito smiled as he lifted the collar.

All of my muscles tensed as it came in contact with my skin. The feel of the cold leather latching around my throat, the sound of it clicking as it closed, made me sick.

But it was the weight of the collar taking away my will that made me want to scream.

I bit back angry, furious tears while he fastened it around me, his icy fingers deceivingly soft and gentle, as if he had no intentions of hurting me.

 _Yet_.

The vampire leaned back as he finished, the lightweight chain leash clinking ominously in his hand. I sensed that he was about to test just how much control he could exert over me with this thing around my neck.

As I slowly let my hair down around my back and shoulders, Laito's eyes traveled the length of my body, his gaze hooded and rimmed with lust. My stomach rolled, and I grabbed my shirt, shutting off his view.

Laito immediately frowned. "From now on, you don't close yourself off from me, Bitch-chan. Drop your hands."

My mouth went dry at the danger in his low tone of voice. I knew if I didn't comply, I would quickly understand the function of the collar weighing me down.

Steeling myself, I slithered my arms down to my sides, letting my blouse hang open. Dread began to fill my chest at the thought of what else he would try to make me do.

Laito inclined his head and smirked. "You've become so  _obedient_  all the sudden."

My pride pricked at that word.  _O_ _bedient_.

I grit my teeth as the vampire took several steps back, the leash loose in his hand, his eyes watching me with a predatory curiosity.

"Come, Bitch-chan," he said, smiling, as if giving a command to a dog.

The indignity struck through me like a match.  _Fuck being obedient!_

I crossed my arms on my chest and glared.

I knew it wasn't smart. I knew he was baiting me. I knew I was letting him get to me.

And I knew I would regret it.

" _Bad girl_ , Bitch-chan~."

Laito happily tugged on the leash.

He didn't even have to pull hard. The choker responded without hesitation and I stumbled forward, gasping in shock at the sharp pain that followed. The prongs on the collar squeezed into my skin, elliciting tears as they cut my flesh while the choker blocked my air supply.

Laito continued to pull on the leash until I was in his arms, giggling as the collar throttled my neck and stabbed the metal into my throat.

"Ah~, does it hurt? How  _nice_!" He moaned into my ear, his hands sliding under my shirt and splaying across my back. "Just looking at your painful reaction, it makes me want to hurt you  _more_."

Tears leaked from the edges of my eyes as I tried to draw air into my lungs.

Laito panted and moaned and pressed himself against me, his rock-hard arousal jutting into my belly. His tongue slithered across my neck, skimming noisily over the blood drawn from the sharp prongs.

I desperately wanted to shove him, kick him, scramble away from him. But he held the leash firmly in his hand, and any movement on my part would painfully stab the metal into my skin.

But keeping my body still proved more difficult as Laito slowly made his way up my chin and to my mouth. I whimpered as his icy lips molded hungrily over mine, his tongue trailing along the seam of my lips.

"Open your mouth, Bitch-chan," Laito commanded breathlessly.

My jaw firmed on instinct. But my defiance was immediately met with a yank on the chain.

The pain was brutal, slicing into my already wounded flesh.

I couldn't restrain the cry that formed in my throat. "You son of a bitch," I breathed out, loathing the fact that every fraction of a movement that I made was under his control.

"Yes, I  _am_  a son of a  _bitch_ ," Laito whispered, and despite everything that he was doing to me, a thread of sadness briefly pulled in my chest. "But that's neither here nor there, Bitch-chan. Open your mouth for me."

The chain jingled as he prepared to pull again. My pulse jumped. Grudgingly, I forced my lips to part before he could give another merciless tug.

"Very good, Bitch-chan."

I felt him smile against my lips before his tongue darted in.

He took my mouth demandingly, his tongue sliding over and under mine, moving with masterful skill as it induced my tongue to move with him. The feeling of it might have been sensual, even erotic -- under normal circumstances. But it only repulsed me, especially as his free hand roamed to my buttocks, pressing my hips into him.

Regardless of the pain, I started to struggle, fisting my hands in his shirt and pushing, anxious for his appendage to get out of my mouth.

He pulled back with a giggle, his eyes practically beaming. "You just can't  _stand~_  it, can you? You  _hate_  submitting to me."

 _Submitting to him?!_  

The words suddenly tipped me over the edge and I reacted without thinking. "I will  _never_  submit to you!"

Laito tilted his head to the ceiling with a burst of laughter. "I was  _hoping_  you'd say that, Bitch-chan!" He tightened the leash in his hand and the collar squeezed. "It's so much more fun this way!"

My hands flew to my throat, grasping at the collar. But the strap was secured tight, my fingers unable to wrestle under the prongs.

_Shit! I gave him exactly what he wanted!_

The vampire slackened his hold on the chain and I gasped for air, fear layering every desperate breath I took.

He was  _basking_  in the control over me, reveling in it as much as the fear. The wide grin spreading across his face told me he relished my refusal to submit and was savoring his attempts to make me. It dawned on me that the stronger the defiance in me, the harder he would push to bend me to his will.

But I had the feeling that if I acted submissive -- pretended outwardly while inwardly keeping myself whole -- he would see right through it and make things worse for me. I was pretty sure my pride wouldn't let me pull off that kind of act anyway.

_Jesus, how do I play this sick game?_

As I stood utterly still, catching my breath and wondering frantically what to do, it became apparent by the gleam on Laito's face that he delighted in my absolute uncertainty, too.

 _It doesn't matter what I do,_  I suddenly realized, fresh tears fighting in my eyes. _It's_ all _part of his game._

. . . _And he's the only winner._

I felt my shoulders beginning to drop. I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to battle the feeling of total helplessness threatening to overtake me.

Was this his way of breaking me down? Making me realize he had ultimate control, no matter what I did?

Dizziness billowed over me, widespread fear following suit.

_No matter what happens, don't let him get to you. He might have control of your body, but he can't touch your mind. You can get through this._

I didn't feel as strong as the voice rolling through my consciousness. I felt small and powerless and vulnerable. And completely at his mercy.

"Bitch-chan?"

I opened my eyes to find Laito's gaze raking lustfully over my panting breasts.

"I want you to get on your knees now."

 _No, oh god, no. . ._  

The frightening eagerness in his voice saturated the air around me until it was so heavy I could barely breathe.

"Come on, obey Laito-kun.~"

His soft, gentle tone contradicted harshly with the choking force of his hand pulling on the leash.

Fierce pain clawed into my neck, and I fell painfully to my knees. I quickly snapped my eyes shut, unable to bear seeing the revolting bulge in his pants right in front of my face.

 _If he tries to make me, I'll bite it off,_  I promised myself.

A freezing hand reached under my chin, and I sensed Laito leaning over me. "Bitch-chan, you sure are perverse,~" he chuckled. "Did you think I'd let you anywhere near  _that_  right now?"

My eyelids shot open, relief coursing through me. Laito was also on his knees, kneeling down in front of me. Some small part of me couldn't help feeling a spark of triumph. For once, my defiance had helped me out.

"You know, we forgot all about poor Subaru-kun," Laito said as he sat back on his heels.

 _I_  hadn't forgotten him. My body positively thrummed with the awareness of Subaru's presence as he sat behind me on the other end of the cell, refusing to help me.

"He looks so  _lonely_  over there." The chain in Laito's hand gave a gut-wrenching rattle as he pulled me into his lap.

My teeth clamped together as the sharp collar choked around me. I fell into Laito's arms with a whimper, the pain sending stars across my vision.

"Turn around and show Subaru-kun what a sexy, hot _mama~_  you are."

He stared down at me, and my lips furled in anger at the sarcasm in his words. But I hesitated to comply, also despising how he was using me to taunt Subaru.

But Laito gave me a deceitfully cheerful warning look in return, shaking the chain threateningly in his hand.

Reluctantly, I maneuvered my body to face Subaru's direction, careful not to cause the prongs to stab into me. I leaned back uneasily against Laito's chest, hating that I had nowhere else to put my hands except the top of his thighs. I cringed as the hard thickness of him now mashed into my buttocks.

My eyes unwillingly descended on Subaru. His arms were wrapped around his chest, his legs crossed in front of him. Even in the darkened cell I could see the muscles working in his jaw as he ground his teeth, as if he were struggling to keep his gaze averted, struggling to ignore his demented brother.

_And to ignore me._

"Subaru-kun is  _awfully_  stubborn," Laito chided. "How could he keep resisting such a beautiful and helpless bitch-chan? What  _else_  can we do? Hmmm. . ." He hummed in artificial thoughtfulness. "Maybe this. . ."

I gasped sharply as Laito's fingers reached around my front and curled under the lace fabric covering my breasts. The bra straps stung my skin as they tore off me, the frigid air sucking the breath from my lungs as it hit my exposed flesh.

Laito discarded the destroyed bra on the floor, pressing his lips to my cheek. "Are they hard?" he sickeningly asked as he cupped my breast. My whole body tensed as his thumb stroked over my nipple. "Ah, you  _are_  hard for me," he groaned. "I'm hard for you too, Bitch-chan." He rubbed up against me, as though I hadn't already felt the insistent pulse of his erection on my backside.

I wanted to vomit. I swallowed hard under the collar, trying to convince my stomach to stay where it belonged.

 _Don't let him get to you_ , I repeated over and over in my mind as I tried to ignore his hand skimming across each breast, taking his time squeezing and pinching each nipple between his fingers. All the while, his tongue evoked shivers from my body as he grunted into my neck, lapping at the dripping blood drawn from the sharp prongs.

Whimpering, and resisting the urge to struggle, I tried to force my nerve endings to shut down, tried to stop my body from treacherously responding. But it was futile. The sensations running across my skin were beyond my control.

 _Like everything else,_  I thought tearfully, defeatedly.

"Ah," Laito moaned, lifting his head. "Look, Subaru-kun is  _finally_  interested,~" he chuckled breathlessly.

I blinked through my tear-stained vision. Subaru was still sitting down, but this time his eyes were on us, a homicidal glare burned across his face.

My heart almost stopped in my chest.  _Please help me! Please, Subaru!_  My eyes called out to him, pleading.

Laito's tongue slithered up to the shell of my ear. "Does that turn you on, Bitch-chan? Knowing Subaru-kun is  _watching_?"

I twitched in his hold. "You're disgusting," I hissed out against my better judgment.

Laito pulled on the leash in response. "Well, since you  _are_  older, you can tell me what turns you on, right? I mean, you  _have_  made a baby. Unlike most of the girls we get,  _you~_  actually know how all of this works."

Fury whipped through me, consuming me all at once like fire consumes paper. I wanted to punch him, claw him, absolutely tear into him. But he didn't release the hold on the chain and I couldn't even breathe, much less react, as jolting pain split through my raw and bleeding flesh.

"Stop acting so  _innocent.~_ You don't have to be  _shy_ , you can tell me what you like," Laito taunted, as if I were squirming because I was embarrassed, and not because he was torturing me. "Well, I do remember how  _much_  you enjoyed it the last time I did. . .  _this_."

His hand began to move from my breast, down my stomach.

My eyes tightened, wincing shut. My fingernails dug into Laito's thighs as the desperate need to breathe mixed with the sharpness of the prongs cutting me deeper. The pain and the lack of oxygen magnified the feeling of his hand sliding beneath my underwear.

My struggling became frantic, even though every movement made the pain worse.  _Stop it! Just stop it! You crazy bastard!_  I wanted to scream and scream and never stop.

But Laito continued on, his voice soft and almost  _loving_ , as if I were his willing partner in the throes of passion. "It'll be more pleasurable if I drink your blood, right? I  _know_  you like that too.~"

He pulled my chin upwards to gain better access to my throat, and my head fell backwards onto his shoulder.

His fangs skated promisingly over my skin as his hand moved with purpose between my legs.

Tears seeped down my temples, into my hair. I both dreaded and longed for him to bite. It would take away the pain, but at the cost of losing my body to that wretched  _pleasure_.

With a heaving breath, Laito sank his fangs deep into my neck. At the same moment, he plunged two fingers deep within me.

The shocking combination of sensations arched my back and seized my body, overwhelming all of my senses at once. The pain of both the collar and his fangs churned and mixed and crashed together with the invading pleasure of his mouth and hand.

An awful sound gathered in my throat -- a desperate, trapped scream, unable to escape from my lungs.

I reached up to scratch at Laito's face.

"Oops. . . I'm. . . sorry, Bitch-chan. . . Do you need. . . to breathe?" Laito paused between gulps to speak, not letting up on his assault inside of me.

His hand methodically twisted and thrusted, curling to reach a spot that lit every oxygen-deprived nerve in my body on fire.

As he drank, he incrementally loosened the collar, but not enough for me to take a full breath. I choked air in short, shallow gasps, an effect which flooded my system with a tingling, crackling sensation from my head to my toes, heightening my arousal to proportions I had never before experienced. 

"Pl. . .ea. . . se." My voice was strangled, crushed beneath steel and leather and vampire teeth.

At the sound of my pleading, Laito began to drink more heavily, panting excitedly through his nose as he pulled the blood from my veins. The familiar heat radiated from his bite, the epicenter of euphoria spreading out like burning seismic waves of an earthquake.

"Please?. . . Please what. . . Bitch-chan?" Laito moaned, his tongue pressing and sliding against my throat, moving in rhythm with his hand as he sucked.

My mind darkened into a black haze of sensation as pain dissolved into unspeakable, unimaginable,  _unwelcome_ pleasure, building a powerful, wrenching knot in my belly with each deliberate stoke of his fingers.

I couldn't stop the tears streaming down my face, every ounce of my dignity gone. I was stripped defenseless, utterly exposed, and had no control over any of it.

"Pl. . . ease. . . S-S. . ." Moaning and gasping between syllables, I stared up at the ceiling, barely aware of my intent to beg Laito to stop. Instead, without realizing it, I choked out his brother's name, an almost inaudible, hopeless prayer. "Su. . . ba. . . ru. . ."

Laito slowed briefly in his agonizing ministrations, giggling through a shameless, enthusiastic breath. "You want Subaru-kun? Ah well. . . I don't think he's coming over here. . . But maybe. . . he'll be jealous by how much pleasure  _I~_  can give you."

And that pleasure was overtaking me, the heat within me winding tighter and tighter, higher and higher, as he pumped in and out. The comprehension of what was happening faded into nothing except that one overwhelming, powerful sensation. My eyes rolled back in my head and my muscles began fluttering involuntarily around his fingers.

But without warning Laito stopped, pulling his hand from my underwear. My brain whirled; hazy, dazed, and clouded. Before I understood it, Laito had pushed me forward, onto my hands and knees.

The sound of his zipper opening suddenly ricocheted in my ears, slamming my heart into my throat.

Laito grunted breathlessly from behind me. "You can even. . . scream Subaru-kun's name while I make you come. . . I don't mind.~"

Tears dripped onto the stone floor below me as I closed my eyes. My mind had already shut down, accepted what was going to happen.

But then a low voice, almost as inaudible as mine had been, rumbled across the cell.

"Christ, Laito. That's  _enough_."

I couldn't dare to let myself hope. But I lifted my head anyway.

A whole host of emotions swept over me as I found Subaru on his feet, his fist lunged out beside him, the wall cracked beneath it.

Laito's laughter carried through the dungeon, a sound of pure, depraved glee. He pulled on the leash, tugging me upright onto my knees, pulling my back into his chest once again. Muffled cries gathered in my throat, but Laito's voice cut them off.

"Well it looks like Subaru-kun wants to join us after all!"

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say this to have it out there for my own peace of mind. I consider myself a feminist. In no way do I condone the behavior written in this story. Sexual assault is wrong and horrid on so many levels. Anyone who thinks this kind of behavior is ok belongs in jail. 
> 
> Fantasy and fiction are so very different than reality (duh, I know). People play video games where they murder other people, and people enjoy watching movies with grisly murders. That doesn't mean that the people who like those games and movies are murderers. The fascinating thing about humans is that we can distinguish reality from fiction. We can enjoy the darkest parts of our psyche through fiction without any need or desire to act on it. So, it is quite common to enjoy dark eroticism in fiction and fantasy while at the same time abhorring it in real life. 
> 
> I enjoy exploring the darkness of the mind and pushing boundaries. And I'll continue to do that in this story. But I understand this isn't for everyone, and I hope that anyone who might be triggered by this doesn't read it.
> 
> Ok, I feel better now :P


	31. Subaru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, here you go, guys. This chapter is from Subaru's POV :-). You asked for it, so I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

 

 

The muscles in my shoulders clenched in fury as I glared at Laito across the cell, both of us silently challenging the other over the nearly naked woman clutched in his arms.

Anger sent my fist out beside me, satisfyingly cracking the wall under it, mirroring the rage cracking across my skin as it festered and boiled to the surface.

She had called me a monster. And she was right -- that's what I was. That's what we _all_ were. So, when it was evident we'd be trapped here for a while, I decided to sit back and let Laito show her exactly what kind of monsters we could be.

Laito was the type of vampire who enjoyed tormenting his prey, like a cat toying with a mouse long before sinking its teeth in. My brother hunted and fucked and killed for sport. When I hunted, it was for thirst. And when I killed, it was usually the result of my temper, and never simply for the enjoyment of the kill. I still took pleasure in fear and the hunt as much as any vampire, but Laito raised it to a level all his own.

However, this time he'd gone too fucking far.

His laughter grated under my nerves as he maneuvered to his feet, pulling her up with him.

The only clothing covering her body was her ripped and bloodied white blouse and her white lace panties. The dark leather collar around her neck contrasted sharply with the light fabric and her porcelain skin, as did the dark rivers of red streaming down her chest.

My muscles pulsed with hunger, and not just for her blood.

And Laito sensed it.

"There's plenty for both of us, Subaru-kun!" His face split wide into a mocking grin, the chain making an irritating clanking noise in his hand.  
  
My lips peeled back in a snarl, revealing the sharp edge of my fangs. Adrenaline fired in my bloodstream, and I threw myself at him, the stone floor nearly crumbling beneath my feet. 

"Why couldn't you just leave me out of it?!" I shouted.

My fingers clamped down around Laito's neck, slamming him to the ground.

The force of my fury caused him to drop the chain, and the woman fell to the floor behind me with a shocked cry.

But my attention was locked onto my depraved brother. "What the fuck is the matter with you? Hah?!" 

Laito remained unfazed as my enraged body stood over him, holding him down by the throat. His fangs were bared too, but it was a grin of victory, not anger.

Despite my hand tightening around his windpipe, he drew in a deep breath, letting out a fit of laughter. "Ah~, Subaru-kun! You're _jealousy_ really is the best!"

I craned my neck, staring at him with an incredulous glint of suspicion in my eyes. "You think I'm fucking jealous?" My eyes narrowed with menace, my words anchored between clenched teeth. "I told you to leave me out of it. Instead you tell her to scream my name while you fuck her?!" I shook my head. "You're a sick cunt, you know that?!"

Laito shook his head back at me, clucking his tongue between giggles. "Ah, Subaru-kun.~ Don't pretend that's why you're angry. You really are still just a _child_ who doesn't know himself very well, aren't you?"

I kneeled over him, thrusting my face into his, our noses nearly touching. "Don't. Call. Me. _A fucking child_."

I _hated_  when he called me a goddamn child.

My status as the youngest of my brothers didn't matter in the span of eternity. We were _all_  ageless.

 _And so is she,_  a thought in the back of my head reminded me.

I wasn't even sure if she was human, since she was apparently immortal like us. _That bastard_  liked his secrets and had given us so fucking little information about her. She certainly _tasted_  human. Whatever else she was, it wasn't vampire. Vampires had a taste that lingers, an animalistic, bloodthirsty taste. I'd gotten in enough bloody fights with my brothers and other vampires to notice the difference. If she was partially vampire, I couldn't detect it. But there were more than just vampires in the demon world.

I gritted my teeth. Her presence was vibrating behind me, her heart beating noisily behind her sternum. The intoxicating smell of her blood saturated every corner of the cell, making my head spin. I squared my jaw and ignored it, as I had been doing all week. I wanted nothing to do with her since she had ripped the scab off that deep and painful wound.

 _So why did you stop Laito then?_  a tiny voice asked.

I pushed that annoying fucking voice away and forced my focus to stay on my brother.

Laito smirked and pretended to brush some imaginary dust off my shoulder, as if he were completely oblivious to my hand itching to crush the bones in his neck.

"Well, Subaru-kun, as your older sibling, it _is_  my responsibility to teach you a thing or two about growing up, isn't it?~"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Pure anger dripped from my words. My patience for his big brother charade was wearing thin.

"Wasn't it the Greeks who said, 'know thyself?'" he asked flippantly, tilting his head towards me. "Be honest with yourself, Subaru-kun.~ I think _you_  want to be the one doing these things to Bitch-chan."

A low growl of black rage rumbled in my chest. "Shut up! Do you want me to break your face?!" I jerked Laito off the ground by his throat, my red eyes seething.

I couldn't deny the predator in me wanted her. Subconsciously my tongue ran along my teeth, my fangs aching, along with other parts of my body.

But the weight of what she had seen in my head, what she had said to me afterward, felt like lead in my stomach. I didn't even want to look at her. But for some fucking reason I didn't want Laito near her either. I didn't understand why it had fucking eaten me alive inside to watch him play with her.

"Or is it," Laito continued, as if carrying on a conversation, "that you feel _sorry_ for our Bitch-chan, and you want to be her knight in shining armor?"

My face flashed in anger.  _Now he's just pushing my buttons for the hell of it!_

With vampiric speed, I released my grip on his throat and fisted my hands in his shirt. My muscles rippled, and I slammed him up against the cell bars. "Shut the FUCK up!"

I wasn't as stupid as he thought. I knew what Laito was doing. He wanted me to react, wanted to know he could push my buttons, and wanted to know just how _far_  he could push them. Most of the time I didn't care. I'd let him push my fucking buttons and see where it got him, which was usually a fist to the face or a wall crumpled over his head.

But goddamn it. Tonight I wanted to be left the fuck alone, _needed_  to be left alone.

Laito slid me a look that said he wasn't anywhere near finished. "So _violent_ , little brother.~" He tsk-tsked condescendingly. "Why are you getting so worked up over _prey_ , hmm?"

He blinked at me innocently, anticipating an answer.

My chest constricted, and I snarled in reply, twisting my hands tighter in his shirt, pressing him harder into the bars. My eyes dared him to keep pushing me, even as that voice in my consciousness asked me the same question.

Laito took the challenge, his eyes gleaming with that sarcastic humor which never seemed to leave his face. "Really, Subaru-kun. . . Why would you go through _sooo_  much trouble to _avoid_  your food? I mean, coming all the way down here? It _i_ _s_  rather curious.~"

He cocked his head and my fingers loosened their grasp on him ever so slightly.

I didn't want to think about the reason I was avoiding her, and certainly wasn't going to tell _him_  that reason. The full moon heightened all our senses, all our instincts, all our emotions, and everything that she had brought back when she'd gotten inside my head boiled within me a hundred times stronger. I had needed to get the hell away from her, but the only place not blanketed with her sickeningly sweet scent was as far back in the dungeons as I could go, way past the barrier between worlds.

"And the incident with the knife. . ." Laito paused dramatically, unable to just leave things alone. "My goodness -- that was so _unlike_  you, Subaru-kun.~ After all, don't you usually just snap the brides' necks when you're irritated? Why the _knife_ this time? What was so important that you'd use  _that_ one on _her_?"

My eyes narrowed into dark slits. He was right: Normally I didn't give two shits about the brides _that bastard_  sent us. And I hadn't cared about _her_  either. They had said she was the one my father wanted us to have all along, the one he damn near killed our uncle Richter over after she went missing. But I didn't notice anything unusual with her.

_Until I tasted her._

When her blood had hit the back of my throat and landed in my veins, the entire fucking world flipped on its axis. My mind had ceased to work as that power flooded over me. Nothing else existed except that orgasmic desire for the red liquid swimming through her body.

 _Shit_.

I swallowed hard at the memory. The power in that blood had overwhelmed me. And now the scent of it had followed me here where I didn't want to be found. It was all around me, pervading my nostrils, mixing with the heady smell of her fear. Hunger throbbed all through my body, clouding my mind, clogging my emotions.

"Come on, Subaru-kun.~" Laito showed his fanged teeth in a knowing smile. "What aren't you admitting to yourself? Hmm?"

A frustrated grunt emitted from my lungs, but I didn't respond. Almost absent-mindedly, my grasp on his shirt relaxed and I let go, my arms dropping to my sides. The rage was dissipating.

_Damn it!_

I wanted to hold onto it. Anger was the easiest emotion to feel, and I eagerly allowed rage to fuel me, the way human blood fueled my strength. I fought the urge to rub the hollow ache it left behind in my chest.

This time Laito was wrong, there wasn't anything to _admit_ , at least not to myself. She had invaded my mind, she knew things now that even my brothers didn't. Though, I supposed my brothers didn't know much to begin with. Ever since we were kids, I kept apart from them, preferring to be alone. I was the youngest, the outcast, the only one without a full-blooded sibling, the one with the crazy, lunatic mother.

 _Mother_.

I shoved a hand through my hair. _She_ was a mother, too. How could _that bastard_  send us a goddamn bride who already had a kid? Was he out of his fucking mind?

I gave an audible sigh. It really shouldn't have mattered. Humans were prey. Male, female, adult, teen, mother, father: They were food all the same. And even if she wasn't fully human, she was still a bride, which for us, that meant she was more like a sacrifice, or a slave -- not almost an equal like my father's wives had been. And this one was probably like the other brides, bred with certain bloodlines as a power source for us that would ensure our rule in the vampire world.

But the fact that she was a mother still bothered me for some fucking reason.

My heart was suddenly wrought with a sadness I didn't recognize or understand. I clutched at my shirt over my chest and started to turn away from Laito. I just wanted to ignore both him and the woman until someone finally noticed us missing.

But Laito just couldn't let anything go. His eyebrows twitched up before I could move. "Ah, I get it now," he said, as if he were the master at guessing my thoughts.

A knot of dread filled my insides. Something told me I wouldn't like the words that were about to come out of his mouth next.

My brother slung an arm around my shoulder, his voice a triumphant giggle. "Bitch-chan reminds you of your Mommy-dearest because she's Daddy's _special~_ prize? Doesn't she?"

My face contorted with fury.

_Too far! He's always pushing things too fucking far!_

With a howl of rage, I picked Laito off the ground and hurled him across the room. His body collided with a table filled with crates, clattering against it like stone.

The cell echoed with crashing torture devices, but Laito's laughter echoed above it.

He dropped to the floor, breathless. "Ah! Subaru-kun! You always get the most violent when I hit the nail on the head! You really are _sooo_  easy to read!" 

_God-fucking-damn him!_

My brothers didn't know shit. They all seemed to believe that, out of his three wives, our father had _only_  loved my mother, as if he were even capable of such a thing as love. She was the only one he locked away, to keep her from leaving, or from fucking anyone else. The triplets' mother -- Cordelia -- had fucked whomever she wanted and he hadn't cared. And he had flat out ignored Beatrix after she had Shuu and Reiji. My mother was the only one he kept under lock and key.

_Like a caged bird._

My eyes widened and my hands curled into fists. "Jesus fucking Christ!"

In an instant I was across the cell, slamming into Laito as the realization hit me. He had thrown the woman in that cage to fuck with my mind.

"You did it on purpose, didn't you?! You goddamn asshole!" I grabbed him around the collar, resisting the urge to tear his throat out. "What the fuck do you want, hah?! You want me to say she reminds me of my mother? Fuck you! That bride is nothing but prey! _Food!_ Just like all the others! Nothing more!"

The lines of my body tightened with rage as some part of me wondered if I was saying that to convince him. . . or myself.

Chuckling, Laito beamed at me. "Only food?Just keep telling yourself that, brother.~" He patted my shoulder, his cheerful voice conflicting heavily with the tension between us. It only served to piss me off even more.

But I was done with him.

I dropped him to the floor, straightened to full height, and turned around, intending to take up my place against the wall once again.

But the breath stalled in my lungs and I froze in my tracks.

The woman hadn't moved since I first slammed Laito to the ground. Her wide, frightened eyes looked up at me, wordlessly taking in the scene that had unfolded before her.

And I couldn't help taking _her_  in.

 _Christ_.

She was the absolute vision of the perfect prey. Small, vulnerable, cornered. And completely helpless with the collar and chain still latched around her neck.

My body hardened painfully with lust, my fangs pulsing with hunger.

I realized that Laito might have been right. Maybe I had been pissed at him because _I_ wanted her.

 _Shit_.

My eyes slowly followed the length of her legs bent beside her, with the soft skin laid bare all the way to the crease at her hips, where the white lace of her panties met the edge of her torn blouse. I found myself wanting to rip off both pieces of clothing as my gaze continued upward. Her shirt was open down the center, revealing the slender line of her abdomen, and the smooth, roundness of her breasts half-hidden under the fabric.

Her chest was rising and falling in rhythm with her breathing, her heart hammering under the small, fragile bones of her ribcage. Her hair tumbled over her, the auburn strands tangled everywhere: down her back, her shoulders, over her arms, and the red tendrils blended with the crimson lines of blood ebbing and flowing down her chest. It was disheveled and wild, and beautiful. She reminded me of a blood red rose.

_Very much unlike the wilted white one._

A need for her pounded down my spine. It had been so fucking difficult to ignore the lust that washed over me as Laito played with her. I had despised letting him do that, but she had to understand -- get it through her thick, willful skull -- that her place here was as prey.

Now, that all seemed to be forgotten.

I was heedlessly drawn to her, the source of both my anger and my ecstasy. I wanted to consume her, devour her, possess her, until she couldn’t remember anyone but me.

My eyes met hers and all at once, I didn't know what to do with the emotion suddenly welling up inside of me. Her blue eyes pierced me with that same sympathy and sadness and guilt that she'd had since she saw the memory of the day my entire world had been fucking ripped apart. It was the way she looked at me after I stuck that knife in her throat, the same way she'd looked at me when she was in that cage, after I'd just left her to Laito. And then, the way she fucking said she was _sorry_  after I had done those things to her. . . it twisted something in me. She looked as if she actually meant it, like she thought I deserved her sympathy.

_How stupid is she?_

And how stupid was I for actually having a part of me that wanted to believe her, to believe I deserved it?

No. I was poison, just like _that bastard_ , just like my father. I didn't deserve to know peace or an end to the cursed guilt of ruining my mother, the wilted white rose. Just as _he_ had.

And she had no right to look at me with that expression.

My eyes darkened, a jolt of fury shooting through me, the control over my bloodlust and emotions frayed.

Before I was even aware of it, I grabbed her off the floor and threw her against the wall, caging her with my body.

Her mouth parted in shock and I smelled the fear surging within her, wafting off her like a sweet perfume.

"Good. You _should_  fear me," I snarled as my lips drew back, fully exposing my fangs. "Fear me more. Hate me. Detest me."

I'd rather feel her fear than her sympathy or guilt -- or any of the emotions I'd felt when she had forced me inside _her_  head. My mouth furled at the memory. I had been _her kid_ in that fucking dream, and she had held me in her arms, making me feel things, things I was certain I was wholly incapable of feeling.

_Things I didn't deserve to feel._

My fist slammed into the wall next to her head. She jumped and the fear sweltered, her heart pounding like music in my ears.

I leaned in until my face hovered inches from hers, close enough for me to see the fright and uncertainty swirling in her eyes. With her lips loose and trembling, she took a deep, quivering breath. Her breasts heaved behind the torn shirt, her chest expanding against mine.

I couldn't stop the growl forming in the back of my throat.

_Fuck, she feels good._

My senses filled with her blood: the sight of it pulsing from the collar, the sound of it magnified beneath her skin, the scent of it sweet and warm and powerful. A shiver went up my back, and I could feel the ache of hunger running along my jaw, down to other parts of my body.

I watched her throat work as she took a difficult swallow under the collar. She looked up at me, her eyes innocent and pleading as she held the chain out to me.

"Subaru. . . please. . ." Her voice quavered, as if teetering on the edge of sanity herself. And the sound of my name on her lips churned within me, unsettling me, just as it had when Laito had her.

I took a hesitant step back and grasped the chain from her hands. It made the same rattling and jingling as when my fucked-up brother had pulled on it. The noise had made me want to tear it into pieces. But now. . . now it sounded different in my own hands.

"You want me to take this off of you?" I asked. I felt my mouth twitch up at the corner, almost shaking my head at the trust in her eyes. "You still think I'm going to save you?"

Her gaze widened, flicking over my face with alarm.

When would she learn that I wasn't her rescuer? I couldn't free my mother. I couldn't free her either.

 _And I don't_ want _to free her._

All at once a possessiveness shot through me. I tugged on the collar, pulling her into me.

"With this, you can't run away from me," I growled, silencing her shocked whimper.

Images of hunting her down through the woods flared in my mind, watching her run. I had very much enjoyed the hunt. But now, I didn't want her going anywhere away from me, particularly anywhere near _Laito_.

Jesus H. Christ. Maybe that asshole was right. Maybe I _was_  jealous.

_No. That's not fucking possible._

My hand holding the chain snaked around her waist, securing her against me, drawing that human warmth into me. My other hand wrapped in her tangled hair, fisting at her nape, hungrily pulling her mouth upwards.

I wanted her. All of her.

 _Shit_.

What was this prey to me? Why did I feel this intense, primitive fucking need inside me to claim her, mark her as mine, and even protect her from the others? Why did I simultaneously want to avoid her yet keep her close? Why did I hate the thought of Laito playing with her, while at the same time I walked away and let it happen?

_Fuck!_

Uncontrollable hunger rolled through me. All the unanswered questions faded into the background as my resolve to avoid her, to show her that I was indeed a monster, crumbled around me.

Her scent, her blood, her presence, enveloped me and I wanted nothing more than to just lose myself in all of it.

And somehow, that just made me even more angry.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit for translations goes to the translator of  
> [Subaru VS Laito Drama CD](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2013/02/20/diabolik-lovers-versus-subaru-vs-laito/)


	32. Claiming Prey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Subaru and Sayuri have complicated feelings for each other. *Major Trigger Warning*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this update has taken so long. This time of year is ridiculously busy for me. There's just no possible way I'll be able to keep my weekly update goal until probably after the new year. And I'm not sure how often I can update until then, especially since the story is getting complicated, and I want to take the time to get it right. So, I can't promise regular updates. I suggest subscribing to the story so you get notified when I post. Thank you in advance for your patience :-)
> 
> Also, I decided to take the "Bonus Chapter" moniker off the brothers' perspectives chapters. Initially, I just intended those chapters to be something extra and just for fun. But now, I'm going to make them a more frequent occurrence and pertinent to the story. So if you haven't done so, it'd be a good idea to read those, especially Subaru's chapter; today's update will make more sense if you do.

* * *

 

 

Terror, euphoria, blood loss, humiliation, relief -- all of it churned within me, paralyzing me, and bending my perception of events, making time move in disembodied fragments. One moment Laito was choking me, pulling me to my feet, taunting Subaru from across the cell. The next instant, I found myself falling to the floor, somehow thrown from Laito's grip.  
  
My body hit the ground hard, scraping my knees and elbows, and slinging my hair over my face like a blanket. My vision tunneled, darkening around the edges. The only sounds reaching my ears were the roaring of my heart beneath my ribs, and the vague sound of shouting from somewhere behind me.

But I didn't notice any of it as I collapsed, my cheek pressed into the stone, sobs wracking my body. All I could do was lay there and gasp for breath, sucking in the precious air that Laito had denied me.  
  
Utter, grateful relief began to whirl over every other feeling as I came to my senses, understanding what had happened. 

_Subaru saved me._

The realization rolled through me, the words repeating over and over in my mind. _Subaru saved me. He saved me._

After several long moments, the trembling in my muscles grew less violent, while the sound of voices grew louder.

Bracing my hands on the dirty floor for support, a howl of rage jerked my eyes upward. I turned my head in time to see Subaru grab Laito by the shirt and throw him across the cell.

A gasp ripped from my lungs as the redhead's body crashed into a table filled with crates and torture devices.

I was too disoriented to fully understand the scene before me. My eyes flitted between both brothers, trying to absorb what I was seeing. The tension in the dungeon was sharp, hissing between the two of them.

And despite myself and everything he had done to me, a jolt of fear surged through me -- a fear for _Laito_. Because Subaru was the embodiment of homicidal rage, and he looked as if he might kill his brother. Strength and fury blazed through him. He bared his fangs like an animal, snarling as the hostility rolled off him, frightening me to the core.

My mind stuttered, unable to comprehend Subaru's wrath. It didn't seem possible that such rage could be in my honor, particularly when Subaru had been the one to abandon me to Laito in the first place.  
  
But then Laito's laughter erupted over the clattering torture devices as he crumbled to the floor. He didn't seem the least concerned that Subaru would murder him. In fact, he seemed somehow pleased with his brother's reaction.  
  
I could only watch as Subaru flew across the cell with the fluidity of a predator, snatching Laito off the floor as if he were as light as a feather.

Laito's expression didn't change when Subaru cursed in his face. "What the fuck do you want, hah?! You want me to say she reminds me of my mother? Fuck you!" Subaru's back was to me, but I could still see the anger rippling through his body. "That bride is nothing but prey! Food! Just like all the others! Nothing more!"  
  
His words wrenched in my chest.  _He isn't angry because of me_ , I realized, understanding where this feral rage was coming from: Subaru was still living inside that memory, still greatly affected by what his father did to his mother.

"Only food?Just keep telling yourself that, brother,~" Laito said lightly, as if he enjoyed bringing Subaru's pain out in the open.  
  
Sadness rose up inside me as Subaru's shoulders seemed to sag, and he dropped Laito to the ground.

His redheaded brother just smiled with satisfaction. Somehow, through the fog clouding my mind, I began to realize something about Laito. Or maybe it was something I had already learned about all of them.  
  
_He makes others feel pain so he doesn't have to._  
  
Subaru turned towards me, his eyes flashing, breaking me out of my thoughts.

Where he had been unreadable before, now his face was a swarm of expressions. My breath caught in my throat. The depth of emotion I saw in him snared me, tightening around my chest. I saw the rage, the pain, the confusion. I saw the tormented face of the boy in his memory, the boy who found his mother with a knife in her chest and whose father cruelly punished her for it.  
  
But then a shadow passed over all his emotions, and the hairs sprung up on the back of my neck. The room seemed to darken as his eyes shifted and became cold -- with an anger directed at me.

All at once, he lunged for me.   
  
Panic slammed into me as my back hit the wall.

Subaru had lifted my body like a ragdoll, throwing me up against the stone, his own body creating a cage around me.

His fangs gleamed at me in the darkness, and my lips parted in shock, my pulse racing.

Subaru was taller than Laito, and his rage, the fury in the lines of his body, gave him the illusion of being that much larger. I barely came to his shoulders, and he filled the space around me with an aura of power and violence that terrified me.

"Good. You should fear me," he half-laughed, half-snarled before his face visibly hardened. "Fear me more. Hate me. Detest me."  
  
He rammed his fist into the wall beside my head for emphasis, and I jumped. My mind was blurred and murky, unable to process this change in events.  
  
_What happened? Why is he angry with me?_ An ache tightened my insides. _Why does he want me to hate him?_  
  
I _should_ have hated him. He was responsible for shredding my life to pieces as much as the others. But now, gratitude overflowed in my veins, and I couldn't have hated him if I tried. If not for the fear he had suddenly induced, I might have crumpled in his arms, weeping with relief.  
  
Subaru leaned in closer, his face hovering above mine. The violence within him was restrained by a thread, and I was painfully aware of the way his body was touching mine -- and that very little clothing covered my skin. Terror quickly began surpass the gratitude. I couldn't, I just  _couldn't,_ handle him attacking me too.  
  
_He saved you,_ a voice in my consciousness whirred, fighting down the fear.

 _Yes, he did. He saved me._ I grasped onto that thought, trying with everything I had to let it ground me.  
  
I studied Subaru's fire red eyes, eyes that were nothing like that of a human's. There was a flicker there, behind his gaze, wasn't there? Was it naive to think I saw something human in him? Or was the gratefulness warping my rational mind?  
  
I swallowed hard, trying to keep it together, feeling dizzy, uncertain, confused. The movement of my throat reminded me of the wretched thing around my neck, and the sticky drain of my blood down my chest.  
  
Lifting the leash, I held it up for him. "Subaru. . . please. . ." My voice sounded strange, like a hollow echo inside my head. I didn't trust myself to speak more than those two words for fear I'd break down into hysteria.  
  
Subaru took the chain from my hands, stepping back slowly. "You want me to take this off you?" His eyes narrowed, his tone almost incredulous, before it turned darker. "You still think I'm going to save you?"  
  
I blinked at him, sensing something troubling behind his words.  
  
_What does that mean?_  
  
My pulse shot upward in an instant when Subaru suddenly growled and yanked on the leash.  
  
His voice lowered dangerously as he pulled me into him. "With this, you can't run away from me."

His hand tangled in my hair, tugging my face up harshly, making me gasp. Staring at him in wide-eyed disbelief, my stomach dropped at what I saw in his face.  
  
Hunger. . . and lust. A look that made me feel hunted.

_Oh god. Please. . . not him too._

My lips quivered, my body perfectly still and frightened. He tilted his head closer to mine, his face hovering over my mouth, his hand curling tighter in my hair.

"Don't," I whispered, my voice barely audible even to myself.

Subaru stopped at the outer edges of my parted lips, his mouth just ever so lightly touching mine.

With almost painful force, my fists gathered in his jacket. Sobs gathered in my throat with the same intensity, sobs of shock and fear. It was taking everything I had to hold them back.

_Please, please don't. . ._

"Subaru. . ." His name was a helpless whimper on my lips, my eyes pleading with his as they filtered hungrily over my face.

His breath fluttered over my mouth, his voice so deep I could feel it rumbling through my bones. "You are prey. You have no right to refuse."

Subaru brought his lips down on mine and my legs nearly gave out under me. Fear flashed across my skin, the air knocked out of my chest. With bruising force, he pushed me back up against the wall, his fangs nipping harshly at my lips, drawing blood. He pressed against me so tightly, so greedily, that I could feel the zipper of his jacket gouging into my skin, the smooth cotton of his shirt rubbing on my torso, the frightening strength of his arms trapping me under him. . . And the hard length of his arousal pressed firmly against me.  
  
But, to my own despair, I didn't struggle or try to push him away. I was horrified to realize that I didn't want him to let me go. In fact, I was terrified that he would.

A noise behind Subaru pulled his lips away from mine, and he looked over his shoulder.

Dizzy, and trying desperately to breathe, I glimpsed Laito making himself comfortable against a stack of crates. A spike of ice sliced through me as he leaned back and _winked_ at me.

Anxiously, I bit the inside of my cheek. _What is he doing?_

He looked. . .  _triumphant_. As if he had gotten exactly what he wanted, which only worried me more. Were Subaru's actions somehow part of his game too?

"Fuck," Subaru grumbled as he turned back to me. "Don't look at him. Focus on me, not him."

My eyes flicked to Subaru's, but Laito's face was directly in the corner of my eye. I swallowed heavily, unable to keep my gaze from drifting back to the redhead's unnerving stare. The terror he had put me through cut sharply into my mind, making me tremble all over.

"I SAID don't look at him! Look at me!" Subaru barked, grabbing my chin. "Forget him! Only look at me!" His voice was a gravelly whisper, the words harsh. "You are mine. I won't let him have you, do you understand?"

My head spun. I _didn't_ understand. I didn't understand anything about this whole insane situation, or my role in it. But in that moment, the only thing that seemed to matter to me were Subaru's words: " _I won't let him have you."_

He released his hold on my chin to cup my face in both hands. He leaned forward, resting his forehead on mine, blocking my view of Laito.

"Like this you can't see him, right?"

The sudden sincerity in his voice took me off guard, surprising me, as did his hands, relaxing against my jaw, his fingers turning unexpectedly gentle.

But I still sensed the emotion simmering underneath his angry facade. His eyes wrestled with rage, fighting against the sorrow, the confusion, the struggle with the predator inside him. But he did nothing more violent than lean against me, both of us just breathing each other in.

After several long moments, my trembling slowed, and Subaru's fingers crawled behind my neck. He found the clasp on the horrid device, and the metal pinged in my ears as my throat broke free. He threw collar to the ground, the steel clanking noisily as it hit the stone floor.

A mixture of relief and gratitude resurfaced in my chest and released on a sigh. I tried to open my mouth to thank him, but my lips felt sewn together, weary with exhaustion, drained from everything that had happened.

Subaru lifted my chin, inspecting the wounds. His face contorted in a grimace. "This is terrible. That asshole. . ."

He lowered himself to my throat, his tongue swiping slowly across the mass of cuts in my skin.

 _He's healing me,_  I realized, the sensation sending shivers down my spine, goosebumps down my arms. 

My heart clenched. I felt something in the way Subaru moved, a possessiveness, almost as if he wanted to erase not just Laito from my sight, but all traces of him from my body as well.

There was no use pretending his actions didn't have the effect on me that they did. He wasn't attacking me; he was healing me, taking away what Laito did to me.

And I practically melted in his hold, welcoming his protection, the safety, the comfort -- _craving_ it, no matter how small or fleeting. A twisted sense of longing flared in me, something in me desperately wanting this, needing this.

Somewhere around the edge of my mind, I was frightened and disturbed with myself. I inhaled a shuddering breath and closed my eyes. Without really being conscious of it, my hand lifted, gently lacing through the silvery white hair brushing my chin. I felt Subaru pause and lean in to my hand. Not wanting to think anymore, I just concentrated on the feel of his soft hair under my fingertips, and the heat flushing under my skin as he wiped away my wounds.

But a sudden snap on my wrist bolted my eyes open. Subaru lifted his head. His gaze was narrowed, his cold fingers wrapped menacingly around my wrist, as though he was angered -- or pained -- by my show of tenderness.

"What do you think you're doing?" he snarled, lifting his lip and baring his fangs.

My throat went dry, prickles of trepidation creeping down my spine, a sense of violence and foreboding quickly filling the air around him.

"Subaru, I'm sorry-- "

"Fuck, now I'm pissed," he interrupted, glaring at me, tightening his grip around my wrist.

My bottom lip hung loose, regret lashing through me. I hadn't intended to upset him, and I gulped, trying to comprehend why I had.

 _Because he wants you to hate him,_  my consciousness whispered.

Subaru growled in frustration. He flung his arms around my waist, and my heart launched into my throat as the room suddenly tilted and blurred. I cried out, my eyes widening when I found myself tossed onto my back, my body hitting something soft and padded.

Before I could make sense of what was happening, Subaru was on top of me, covering my small frame with his, the weight of him forcing the air from my lungs.

It took me a moment to realize he had thrown me into the broken coffin he'd been sleeping in earlier. Blinking rapidly, I watched in stunned silence as Subaru sat back on his heels and removed his jacket, followed by his shirt. His necklace dangled over his pale chest, accenting his smooth, sinewy build. If I hadn't been so confounded by the sudden flip in his emotions, I might have appreciated him for the attractive male that he was.

His angry, hungry eyes fell on mine, and the awareness of my own naked chest pounded through me. Instinctually, I tugged my shirt closed. He glared at me and I trembled, terrified of his next move. All of the gentleness he'd shown a moment before was gone, buried away by this mask of violence and fury.

I recoiled when Subaru roughly pulled my shirt off my shoulder and pressed his fangs to my skin. My muscles went rigid, preparing for him to angrily sink his teeth in. Instead, he inhaled deeply and growled.

"Shit. That asshole's scent is still all over you. It's making me sick." He straightened, looking down at me as if it were my fault that remnants of Laito still clung to me.

Seemingly proud of his effect in all of this, Laito gave a light giggle from somewhere in the cell. I was thankful I couldn't see him, but the satisfied sound in his tone nauseated me.

From down the hall, I could also hear Kanato mumbling and crying softly to himself.

But the predatory glint in Subaru's eyes drowned them both out. "The only scent you should have on you is _mine_.”

Horror split across my face as his hands hooked into the edges of my shirt and pulled. With a single yank, he tore it completely off of my body. In the next split-second, my lace underwear suffered the same fate.

“No!” My voice was strangled as I crossed my arms over my chest, defending my fully exposed breasts, trying to shield at least some of my sudden nakedness.

_No! Why is he doing this?_

My insides tightened with shock -- and with a hollow sense of loss. I wanted to reach out to him, to find the Subaru that healed me, the one that saved me from Laito. But my arms were glued to my sternum, my entire body shaking.

Subaru leaned down, looming over me, casting a hostile shadow on my naked, quivering form. Without warning, he grabbed my wrists, pulling them off my breasts and pressing them out beside me.  

With a dark look strewn across his face, Subaru sank his head into my neck, his nostrils filling with air. "Ah. That's better… Christ. . . Your scent. . . makes my whole body tingle."  
  
I sucked in a shallow breath as his icy, bare chest brushed against the tips of my breasts. I shifted beneath him, shivering, my skin vitally aware of every place his body touched, hyper-aware that his breath was against my pulse, growing heavier with need.

"I can't. . . resist. . . any longer."

With a brutal intake of air, he hurled his fangs deep into my artery.

My back arched into him at the force, my vision tunneling, my heartbeat skyrocketing at the feel of his cold flesh against mine.  
  
As he drank violently, he wedged a knee in between my thighs, spreading my legs.

_Oh god._

My teeth ground together in panic, holding back a sob as he pressed his hips against me, groaning. The roughness of his pants grazed on my skin, and I felt the length of him on my pelvis, making me shudder under him.  
  
"Subaru, please, don't," I gasped, struggling to regain my voice, my will to fight, as I tried to get a grip on the reality of the situation. "Please, let me go."

Though some part of me was afraid he would, that he would leave me to Laito again, even though he promised he wouldn't. He was so volatile and confused and unstable that I didn't know what he would do or what he was capable of.

I twisted weakly beneath him, biting down on a moan as he grinded harder between my legs. His teeth dug in deeper, his grip tightening cruelly around my wrists.  
  
"Please. . . You're hurting me. . .," I breathed, my throat thickening with tears. I desperately wanted to appeal to him, to that sense of humanity, the conscience, I knew he buried inside him.  
  
But he seemed determined to prove me wrong.  
  
"I don't care." He wrenched his fangs out, bringing his face even with mine. "I want to hurt you," he sneered, squeezing my wrists even harder, bruising me.

My blood seeped from his sharp fangs, streaming down his chin, giving him a terrifying appearance.  
  
"Subaru. . ." My eyes welled with unshed tears, his words both frightening me and saddening me at the same time. I saw the pain clinging to the edges of his eyes, the anguish driving his desire to hurt me and make me hate him. Something inside me ached -- that familiar, twisted sense of sympathy I shouldn't have. But even more than that, there was a disturbing yearning to ease his pain, though I didn't understand why.  
  
"I'm sorry," was all I could whisper as I choked on the lump of emotion in my voice.  
  
"Shut up! Stop fucking _saying_ that! And don't look at me with those eyes! Fuck!" He released my wrists and slammed his hands on either side of my head, throwing his face into mine. "Why do you have this effect on me? Hah?! Goddamn it!"  
  
Fear and guilt and sadness clawed at my chest, and the tears I had been adamantly holding back came slipping out.  
  
"Good. Cry more for me. You should always cry." A pitiless expression mangled his face as he tried so hard to push whatever it was he was feeling for me away. "You are just prey, with no value other than your blood."  
  
"You don't believe that," I whispered meekly, my gaze flicking sadly over his face.  
  
Heat flashed through his eyes, and for a fleeting moment, Subaru seemed to recognize his own lie.

My heart lurched as I watched him briefly battle with it -- and lose. His features turned even more hard-edged as he embraced the anger, allowing the hunger and fury to take over.  
  
"You don't know anything," he hissed, leaning back and unzipping his pants. "You are prey. And your blood, your body, it's mine."

The dark ceiling whirled above me, hot tears pushing down my temples as I closed my eyes. I knew, then, that I wouldn't be able to reach him.

And I knew what was coming next.

With a rough pull, he ran a hand down my thigh, lifting my leg against his hip. I quivered, feeling the sudden, strangely cold hardness of him laid bare between my legs.

I should have opened my mouth to scream, to resist, anything. But I couldn't seem to summon the will.  
  
Instead, a sharp gasp was torn from my lungs. With a fierce snarl, Subaru thrust into my entrance brutally hard: the entire length of him, all at once, driving in to the hilt.  
  
My back careened off the padding, my body unprepared for the shocking impalement. I had been empty for so long, the illness robbing my desire for any sort of physical relationship with my husband. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd been with him.

And now my body convulsed and stretched, practically ripped apart beneath the vampire's sudden, cruel intrusion.  
  
"Feel my pain. I'll be the one to hurt you." Subaru rocked against me with a roughness that constricted my lungs, preventing me from breathing. His red eyes flared, groaning as he pulled almost all the way out and thrust into me again. And again.

He dropped to my neck, plunging his fangs into my throat with a hungry, almost desperate growl, the sound of a primitive, predatory need.

But I didn't fight him as he continued to force himself in.

My tender flesh began to adjust under the pressure, giving in to the invasion. My vision blurred, my body shuddering under him as I felt _myself_ give in, a sense of total resignation flooding my system, a heavy exhaustion that overrode any defiance left in me.

 _I can't. . . I just can't fight anymore._  
  
And I didn't want to.

Or maybe some sick part of me just didn't want to fight _him_. Perhaps some part of me was still trying to reach him. Because my arms didn't seem to know what they were doing as they wrapped around Subaru's shoulders, drawing his weight into me, bringing him closer.  
  
Subaru seemed to sense my defeat. "That's right," he breathed into my neck. "Give yourself to me. You're mine."

His hands reached up and pulled at my arms, tugging them off his skin. Crushing them above my head, he used his weight and strength to fully dominate me -- and to keep me from touching him.  
  
Pinned helplessly beneath him, heat flushed in my veins as Subaru's movements became uncontrolled, powerful strokes. Full of fury and suppressed emotion, he shoved in and out of me, over and over again. His fangs assaulted me with almost the same frequency, his teeth marking my upper body relentlessly, possessively.  
  
_He's claiming me as prey,_ I realized with trembling sorrow.  _It's easier for him if I'm nothing more than that. . ._  
  
The strength with which he shoved inside me mirrored the anger with which he shoved away the part of him that wasn't a demon, the part of him that felt too much pain. And he was doing the same to me.

He was the predator, and I was the prey.

The effects of Subaru's fangs began to take any remaining rational thoughts left in my mind. And I eagerly let it, my head rolling back, my eyes closing.

A surge of my own aching need rolled through me, a need to forget where I was and everything that had happened. I embraced the powerful, tight and burning inner tension beginning to building inside me. I was being driven to an edge, one that was higher than any I'd ever been on before. My mouth fell open, moaning and gasping for air as Subaru pushed me closer to it.

Somewhere around the outer areas of my mind, a small, far away voice called out to me. _You don't want this, Sayuri. He's a vampire, one of them._  
  
But the voice was severed, along with everything else. Even the presence of Laito and Kanato within range to hear everything -- which normally would have been mortifying -- was locked out.

There wasn't any space left in my mind for shame or self-loathing, or anything at all. There was only euphoria, hot and electric, overloading my nerves until the awareness of my surroundings faded completely. All I felt was Subaru. And that was all I wanted to feel.

With every thrust, I knew he was taking a piece of me, claiming his ownership of me. But I didn't have the will to care. And each gasping, feminine cry that left my mouth, felt as if it were another piece that I was giving up to him.

I lost myself in all of it, letting it consume me, _wanting_ it to consume me. It chased away all the terror, the pain, the anguish, the utter despair. I didn't have to feel anything except the pleasure.

Subaru's tongue slid up to my earlobe, his breath hot from my blood. He growled as he bit through the soft, erogenous tissue and sucked the crimson liquid, the sound of his carnal need vibrating all the way through me. A need that I sensed was more than just a predator devouring a prey.

And it was the straw that broke the camel's back, the shove I needed to send me over the edge.

My insides quivered and contracted powerfully around him, the most violent orgasm of my life ripping through me, savage and primal and terrifying.

I felt as if I'd been slammed to the ground, losing all breath from my lungs. It was as though all the build up of emotions since I was kidnapped, since I had my life stolen from me, the loss of everything precious to me, suddenly just snapped and released.

Subaru burrowed his fangs deep into my neck as the spasms hit me, viciously holding me down by the jugular as he found his own release, taking that final piece he needed to completely claim me.

Paralyzed and blinded, I could only lay there and soak it all in, the bliss, the ecstasy, the overwhelming pleasure. It shattered me in crashing waves, overpowering everything I didn't want to feel. Everything except Subaru inside me, all over me, surrounding me.

I felt my body numbed and tingling as it disconnected and detached from reality, and from myself. And yet, as my consciousness drifted away, somehow I was completely aware of what Subaru had taken.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit for translations goes to the translator of  
> [Subaru VS Laito Drama CD](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2013/02/20/diabolik-lovers-versus-subaru-vs-laito/)
> 
> I often see Subaru written as somewhat awkward with a fake-tough-guy persona. I don't see him that way. I've written him in my story the way I see him after I've experienced the first game and the original cds. So, to some people, he may seem ooc in this chapter. This is simply my interpretation of how he might act after being retraumatized by the memory, and the fact that Sayuri knows his inner pain and still shows him kindness. I think he's more complex than just the typical tsundere he's always described as, and that he'd have a difficult time dealing with this situation. I'd be interested to know what you guys think.
> 
> \-----
> 
> Updated Edit: I haven't gotten many comments on this chapter, which kind of surprised me given that it was an important event in the story. Did you guys not like what happened? If so, what do you think I should have done differently? I'll try to improve for future chapters.
> 
> Another Updated Edit: Well it seems I was wrong and that you guys did like the chapter :). I always greatly appreciate any feedback and encouragement. Thank you very much for the support ♥


	33. Laito

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Laito's POV. We are still in the dungeon. I know it's been a long time to be in one place, but I'm having too much fun with it. I'm sorry! Lol
> 
> I hope you all still like it :-)
> 
> *Trigger warning*
> 
>  

* * *

 

Testing how far I could push Subaru-kun had been _every bit_  as fun as I had imagined it would be. Like a child, he was _so easy_ to prod and provoke. I wasn't doing it solely for entertainment, but why not make a "mission" enjoyable?

But now, as I listened to their _show_ , I was filled with anything _but_  joy.

My thoughts darkened and I ground my fangs tightly. Bitch-chan was _so_ _willingly_ submitting to my petulant younger brother.

_I'll have to punish her for that later. . ._

Usually such a display would bring me to my own climax. I had, after all, warmed Bitch-chan up, _leading_  her to that point.

But instead of relishing in what should have been ecstasy, _nostalgia_  crept up on me, slipping into my chest and making it _hurt_. A long-suppressed image appeared in my mind, an image of _that woman_  fucking my uncle outside of _this_ very cell while I languished inside of it because of _her_.

Startled by the memory, I let out a long breath. Old, _unpleasant recollections_ were resurfacing more and more lately.

Forcing myself back into the present and shoving _that memory_  back into the dark place from which it came, I glanced at the prison door, wondering if the bat I had sent to Reiji delivered its message yet. I probably didn't have much time before my stuffy, older brother obtained the key. I still had _one more thing to test_  before this was over.

Rubbing a hand over my face, my lips flattened together as I waited for their little _exhibition_  to whittle down. I began to recognize how much difficulty I was having remaining in place. My desire to rip her out of Subaru-kun's arms was almost _impossible_  to control.

 _I'm actually jealous,_ I realized, a gradual smile forming across my face.

_How interesting~. . ._

It shouldn't have come as a surprise, not after what I had recently _learned_  about our Bitch-chan. Indeed, my purpose for this little _experiment_  was all about her _unique_  effects on us.

A small giggle escaped under my breath.

_Poor Subaru-kun._

He never even knew what had hit him. As the most detached of all my brothers, he was the _perfect_  lab rat for this test.

After a while, their _obscene_  moaning and slapping of bodies had _finally_  died down. I waited a while, needing Subaru-kun at his weakest. The scent of their carnal instincts filtered through the dungeon, and I felt another twinge of jealousy in my chest.

_Ah~. I can't remember when I felt this alive. . ._

I willed myself to _revel_  in it, take _pleasure_  in it. It would _not_  control me like it had long ago.

Never again would _those feelings_  ever control me.

Quietly, I rose to my feet. Bitch-chan's breathing was slowed, and so was her heartbeat. She was obviously unconscious.

 _Subaru-kun was_ so rough _with her. . ._

Normally that was _such_  a turn on. But now I was intrigued by how much that _irritated_  me. She certainly had worked her spell on me, hadn't she?

_Now it's time to see how much of a spell she put on Subaru-kun. . ._

As I walked closer to the naked couple, it was evident that my little brother was not yet asleep, which was surprising, given his _exertion_. If I hadn't known any better, I'd say he was trying to _avoid_  sleeping.

He heard my approach and glared up at me as I kneeled down over the side of the broken coffin. They looked _so_ _cute_  with their bodies entwined like lovers. Blood was smeared across Bitch-chan's chest, over her lovely little breasts and down her soft stomach. Subaru-kun's chest matched hers and I could just _picture_  their heated bodies _writhing_  together in blood and sweat.

I didn't let the flare of sudden anger cross my face. Instead, I grinned, enjoying the emotion.

_So fun! A bitch-chan for all of us, yet we each want her to ourselves._

It was almost as if _that man_  wanted us to fight over her. . .

"Get lost, pervert," Subaru-kun grumbled, shifting onto his side. "You had your turn."

"Well, Subaru-kun,~" I smirked, an undercurrent of annoyance simmering beneath my tone. "What if I wasn't done yet?"

Before my little brother could tighten his grip around the sleeping woman, I swooped down with vampiric speed and snatched her body.

"Oi! What the FUCK!" Subaru-kun was instantly on his feet, his fists clenched threateningly.

But I was already ahead of him, crossing the cell. I held our Bitch-chan upright, her chest against me in my arms. Just the _feel_  of her nakedness, her human warmth, had my cock twitching.

But my volatile brother was behaving right on cue, and I had to _concentrate_.

With furious speed, Subaru-kun came at me, his fangs gnashing.

Just as he reached for my throat -- always his favorite method -- I dropped Bitch-chan to the floor and snapped my hand around Subaru-kun's wrist.

My other hand grabbed _him_  by the throat.

I barely confined my laughter at his _incredulous_  look of shock. Because I never fought back. I just wasn't _violent_ like that.

Throwing the dumbfounded Subaru-kun to the ground, I seized the chain bolted to the floor. The cuffs used for the Judas' Cradle would be a perfect fit for my _tempestuous_ brother.

Subaru-kun regained his wits and began flailing and kicking, spitting curses in my face. But the shackle was clapped around his wrist before he even _realized_  what was happening.

"You ASSHOLE! What the FUCK are you doing?!" Subaru-kun jerked on the chain in a _firey_  rage -- all to no avail. Just like the iron bars keeping us prisoner, the chain now attached to his arm was _enchanted_. A vampire wouldn't be able break out.

I gave him a crooked grin as I backed away from his kicks and shouts. "I would like some _uninterrupted_  time with Bitch-chan now, Subaru-kun."

But my voice was tight behind my smile. This _game_  was rapidly losing its enjoyment for me. His shouts of desperation and fury rang in my ears, bringing flashes of my own screams back into my mind. Subaru-kun was chained, just as I had been _that time._

_No. This time is different. I'm the one who puts people in chains now. I'll never be chained again._

I turned from my thrashing brother and looked down at my Bitch-chan. She was stirring, but not yet awake.

Kneeling over her, I brushed the hair from her face. My hand traced the outline of her jaw and lightly traveled downward, my fingertips wandering over the smears of blood across her throat and chest. The marks of Subaru-kun's fangs were mostly healed, but the trails of blood _clearly_ stamped all the places he had bitten her.

Possessiveness flooded through me. My throat suddenly went dry, my fangs aching to dig into her, to gouge out every mark of his with my own. And my arousal thickened between my legs, a desperate _need_  to claim this woman from Subaru-kun quite _literally_  rising up within me.

And the louder he yelled from the corner of my eye, the more my body _trembled_ with lust.

"Wake up, Bitch-chan," I moaned, sliding my tongue from her chest up to her chin, reveling in the flavor of her blood and her skin. The taste of Subaru-kun mingled with hers and filled me with envy, turning me on even more.

 _Such_  a strange feeling, one I hadn't felt since _those_ long suppressed days. And certainly never a feeling I ever had towards _prey._

Was it because she was a _mother?_ Was that why these feelings were so. . .  _reminiscent?_

"Bitch-chan," I panted, pressing my hardness onto her. _God_ , I _needed_ her to wake up. My mouth closed over her parted lips, my fangs nipping into the soft flesh. "Come on, Bitch-chan. You can't sleep forever," I groaned against her.

The image of her _child_  suddenly fluttered in my mind, but I pushed it away. When I had first laid eyes on the boy, that human smile on his happy little face had _seared_ me with anger. It had amused me to realize I hated the child. I might have even killed it, if it hadn't been so well-protected. Hunters and witches had surrounded the boy, keeping me _far_ from it.

 _Hunters and witches_.

 _Ah yes._  The thought reminded me that these _peculiar_  feelings of possessiveness and jealousy had nothing to do with _her_  or her _motherhood._

_It's just her blood having this effect on me, on all of us. . . just more meddling and experimenting from that man. . . that's all. . ._

At least, that's what I _suspected_. I hadn't been able to confirm it on my recent  _vacation_. But my familiars had gotten close enough to relay bits and pieces of useful information.

_Which means I can't fuck her yet. . ._

Binding spells were often sealed with a good fuck, _that_  much I knew.

I moaned in frustration. Holding back this long was positively _painful_. And even moreso when her eyes _finally_  flickered open and landed on me. 

"Good morning, Bitch-chan. Did you sleep well?" I couldn't resist chuckling at the enticing fear and confusion in her expression. She was _so adorable._

"You BASTARD!" Subaru-kun interrupted the charming moment. "Let her GO!"

Bitch-chan's head turned to the sound of his voice, her eyes widening when she saw his little _predicament_.

"Ah, ah. Eyes on me." The smile dropped from my face, and my fingers grasped her chin, pulling that gaze _away from him._  Her heartbeat and her breathing quickened tenfold, pushing the sound of that alluring crimson liquid through her body.

But she didn't struggle under me. I was prepared for it, ready for our fiesty Bitch-chan to fight back. Perhaps she was frozen in fear, or too _exhausted_  from her _activities_  with Subaru-kun? 

She blinked at me vacantly for a moment, and I frowned. "So _cruel_ , Bitch-chan. Are you not pleased to see me?"

Only silence and a wide stare greeted my question.

_Hmmm. . ._

Something seemed to be. . . _different_  behind her eyes.

_Our Bitch-chan isn't broken already, is she?_

I realized with surprise that I didn't _want_  her to break.

_Not yet, at least. . ._

The awareness _tingled_  through me like a jolt of _electricity_ , making my throat go dry with a strong, almost _unbearable_  hunger for her.

The novel sensation was just another way in which _this_  bitch-chan was proving to be sooo much fun, so _interesting_. The brides _he_  always sent to our household were little teenage humans, raised in the Church to be submissive and _boring_ , just innocent _children_.

And children were _so easily_ broken.

This one, at twice the age of the other brides, was _not_  so innocent.

I had wondered what an older, perhaps wiser or cynical, bride might be like. Would she be harder to break? Easier? I couldn't _wait_  to find out.

This one was intelligent, and perceptive. But despite her experience and life outside the Church, there was still something oddly _pure and wholesome_  about her. She still seemed to cling to those human emotions that most people tended to lose by her age, once the stark realities of their pitiful, mundane lives set in.

She had pleasantly surprised me with her treasure trove of emotions to corrupt, with her compassion, the sympathy, and especially that _hope_. She was somehow still so strangely innocent, even _naive_ in some ways, but stronger than previous brides, so seductively  _defiant_. Such a contradiction that I was coming to love _._

_Love._

That was the emotion at the center of it all. The other brides had it too, but it was always the _pathetic_  love for _God_ , which they readily discarded for my particular brand of _corruption_.

Though, for this Bitch-chan, it was that _child_  that kept her holding on. She nurtured a different love, one I didn't understand.

_But that will make it all the more challenging and rewarding when I take it from her~._

I stared down at the naked woman and smiled, my fangs and my arousal pulsing with renewed vigor. She wouldn't be broken yet, perhaps a few shards, but not _completely_.

"You're just still sleepy, aren't you, Bitch-chan? Recovering from Subaru-kun's _roughness_?~" A heat flushed to my cheeks as I emphasized the word. 

Ignoring the grunts of anger from my entrapped brother, I skimmed my hand down the side of her chest, letting my fingers linger along the curve of her _pert_  little breasts. A shiver went through my body, the soft stroke rippling straight to my cock, and I pressed my hips into her.

"You want to be claimed by _me_  this time, don't you?" I asked through a breathless moan, barely able to contain my lust.

Almost of its own accord, my hand slithered further down, to her buttocks and under her thigh, pulling her leg against me. Every vein in my body _hungered_ for her, but mostly, I simply wanted her to react, hoping my actions would wake her fiesty side that I adored so _much_.

She was always _sooo_ captivating when she fought the pleasure I would give her.

The corners of my lips turned up when her eyes slid closed, pushing tears out from behind her lids. It wasn't my fiesty Bitch-chan, but it was a beautiful reaction all the same. I had _longed_  to taste those rivulets of her despair.

As if calling to me, my tongue reached forward, snaking along the edge of her cheek, up to her temple. 

"Ahh. . . your tears are _sooo_ sweet _,_  Bitch-chan." I swallowed slowly, savoring the rich taste. "Almost as sweet as your blood," I whispered against her ear.

She shuddered under me and a groan of pure desire brewed in my chest. I relished the feel of her being _trapped_  by me, mixed with the sounds of Subaru-kun's rage as he watched.

 _Just as I had been forced to watch_ them _._

My gaze darkened, _that memory_  shoving it's way into my mind yet again.

For a moment I saw _lavender_  hair instead of auburn on the woman beneath me, and cruel _green_  eyes instead of blue.

Except this time, those eyes were filled with fear -- fear of _me,_  of breaking under _my_  control, and not the other way around. I would make _her_  feel filthy, used and discarded, the way she had done to _me_.

_I will never be chained again._

With a moan of desperation that I barely recognized as my own, an overwhelming _need_  to mindlessly fuck her took hold of me. All at once, I wasn't conscious of anything else, not my casual, leisurely facade or my little _mission_ to hold myself back to see how far her blood could push Subaru-kun into madness. Whatever plan _that man_  had with us and her blood didn't matter to me anymore. All that mattered was being _inside_  her, taking _control_  of her and fucking her until she _shattered._

But before I could even undo the button on my pants, a crashing sound of cracking metal echoed through the air, and a force of pure rage collided into me like stone on stone.

Stunned, I flew sideways onto the ground, my cheek hitting hard into the grit.

"You BASTARD! I'm going to fucking KILL you!"

Subaru-kun was all fury on top of me, the conviction behind his words as palpable as the floor under me.

Grabbing me up by the scruff of my neck, he flipped to his feet and whirled me around.

I couldn't contain the gale of laughter bursting from my lungs as I came to my senses. The chain hung from Subaru-kun's arm, the iron twisted open at the end where he had wrenched it from the bolt.

Whatever witch's spell likely ran through Bitch-chan's blood had just given my brother the power to break _that man's_  enchantment.

Despite the fists pummeling me with hard shots to the chest, stomach and face, my mind began _reeling_. Although I had been _testing_  Subaru-kun and whatever effect fucking her might have had on him, I never expected _that_.

Just _what_  was our father after?

Subaru-kun slammed me to the ground and the pain of the stone cracking through my skull sent me into a daze. I tasted blood in my mouth, smelled it through my broken nose and crushed cheekbones.

My brother's foot falls stepped away from me for a moment and I rolled over, hearing my fractured ribs rubbing against each other as I moved.

"That actually. . .  _hurt_ , Subaru-kun," I winced out, not bothering to hide my astonishment. Even through his common _proclivities_  for violence, he had never beaten me _like this._

My eyes blinked a few times, finding Subaru-kun rummaging in the coffin. In the next split-second, he was standing over me, his pants on, his necklace dangling from his bare chest. In his hand, he gripped his mother's silver knife, the one he always carried around in his pocket for some _silly_ sentimental reason.

Slowly the pieces of the puzzle began to fall glaringly into place: Our father apparently _did_  intend for us to kill each other.

I raised one eyebrow at him and the twitch of a smile pulled at the corner of my mouth. "I didn't realize. . . you loved me. . .  _that much,_ little brother," I managed between painful ribs, watching calmly as he centered the knife over my heart, the point pressing rigidly into my shirt.

Death in our world was a release, a relief to the vast, _endless_ ocean that was eternity -- and the _ultimate_ act of love. Of course we killed one another out of _hate_  too. When my triplets and I had killed _that woman,_  love and hate had been one and the same for me.

"You will never touch her again." Subaru-kun growled low in his throat and the pressure of the knife increased against my chest.

"No! Subaru, don't!"

Bitch-chan's small, feminine voice cried out from the shadows, followed by her hand folding around Subaru-kun's arm.

My brow furrowed a fraction of an inch as a stark, raw _curiosity_  took hold of me. _What is she doing?_

"Subaru, put the knife down, please," she urged, her eyes pleading as she kneeled down beside him. And _interestingly_ , fresh tears pooled beneath her dark lashes.

At some point while Subaru-kun was _attacking_  me, she had stolen his shirt. The maroon fabric fell over her fragile frame, masking her body, but not her scent. I didn't smell fear coming from her, not _exactly_. It was something else.

 _Concern_.

I swallowed with amusement. How foolishly _intriguing_.~ Bitch-chan never failed to keep surprising me.

But Subaru-kun's face contorted, his fangs bared at her. "What?" His eyes narrowed, and his hand lost its focus on the knife, the tip lifting from my chest as she took his attention. "You want _him?!_  Hah?! Is that it?!"

"No, Subaru--"  

But he cut her off, grasping her suddenly around the throat.

He grimaced, the lines around his eyes tight with _pain_ as he stared down at her. I surmised that it wasn't _just_  a spell that enthralled him.

"He's. . . your. . . brother," she whimpered through the fingers around her windpipe.

My presence seemed to completely fade away between them as her hand lifted, resting tenderly along his jawline.

My stomach knotted. _I'll have to add that to my list of punishments for later. . ._

With a rumbling hiss, Subaru-kun dropped his hold on her as quickly as if she'd burned him. She fell back on the stone, her chest heaving as it often so  _delightfully_  did.

My brother grunted and gripped the knife until his knuckles were white. I half-expected the metal to bend or break under this newfound _strength_  of his. Instead, he threw it across the room. The silver struck amidst the tables, clattering to the ground.

I watched with a mild regard as he stomped away, retreating into his own little world of _self-contempt_ , tossing crates aside and kicking over masses of torture devices.

Bitch-chan eyed him for a moment before turning that _penetrating_  gaze on me. She seemed to be  _assessing_ me, her bottom lip caught provacatively between her teeth. I felt my arousal stir with curiosity. The wheels were turning behind her eyes. What was she thinking? Our _clever_ little pet never did _anything_ without her mind driving.

 _Much like that woman. . ._  a malicious voice in the back of my mind observed.

All of the sudden I found that I didn't particularly _like_  being _beneath_  Bitch-chan's gaze. With a groan of effort, I attempted to move.

"Wait," she whispered, her tone strained, almost as if she were battling with herself. A shiver filtered down my spine when I felt the warmth of her delicate hand ease behind my head. "You shouldn't sit up."

Sooo _rarely_ could prey stun me.

"Bitch-chan. . . are you trying. . . to _care_  for me?" I wanted to laugh at her human _stupidity_ , but a broken rib stabbed against my lung, and I cringed instead. Although vampires healed _far_ faster than humans, it still took _some_ time.

I allowed my body to fall back down, _only_ because I eagerly wanted to know what she would do next. Her unpredictable behavior _excited_ me. 

The porcelain skin covering her throat moved as she swallowed heavily. "Here," she said, almost inaudibly, even to my acute hearing.

I blinked slowly, almost _choking_ on my suppressed, painful laughter as she held her wrist out to me.

She really _was_  trying to care for me.

_Fascinating~. . ._

"So naive,~ Bitch-chan," I said, amusement seeping through my protesting bones. "Maybe I'll _lighten_. . . your punishments. . . after all."

I cherished the way her muscles tensed at my words. I loved the effect _I_ had on _her_.

Ignoring her wrist, I eyed the way her long hair was tangled in thick vines over her shoulder. Her jaw clenched in an  _exquisite fear_  as I took a strand of her locks, gently letting it slide through my fingertips, watching it drop back back down.

_Auburn. Not lavender._

There was something about the deliberate way she had spoken, her purposeful movements, and those wide, seeking eyes that made me feel something. . .  _unfamiliar_.

That same expression had crossed her face a few times that night, seeing _through_  me, unnerving me, like she _knew_  things, things she couldn't _possibly_  know.

And I _didn't_ enjoy it.

My eyes tightened into dark slits, constricting with anger.

"Oi! What do you think you're doing?" Subaru-kun was next to her in a flash, his stance protective as he came out of his little _temper tantrum_ and sensed my sudden hostility.

"She's _offering_ her blood to me, can't you see that Subaru-kun?" I smiled jovially, but all traces of my usual cavalier tone were gone.

Before he could argue further, I snatched the front of her shirt and pulled her throat to my fangs. I would take her blood from where _I_ wanted it.

Bitch-chan yelped and fell onto my chest. My teeth sank _deep_ into her artery, her racing heart pouring the luscious red warmth into my mouth.

The taste of her, the scent of her, the _feel_  of her on top of me as I controlled _her_ , immediately made me harden.

"Don't fucking touch her!" Subaru-kun barked, and in an instant, he ripped her from me.

"Subaru, it's okay!" Her voice was strangled as he grabbed the back of the shirt, slinging her to her feet. "He's hurt!"

"Like hell it's okay!" Subaru-kun retorted. His voice lowered, and he pulled her close. "You belong to me now."

I didn't miss the way her hand gently rested on his chest, or how his face momentarily _calmed_ as she seemed to ground him with her touch. My lips thinned, fresh jealousy pleasantly buzzing through me, mingling with the heady effect of her blood.

Gingerly, I dragged myself to my feet, my injuries already mending even with just a single gulp of that ravishing crimson _essence_ of hers. It reminded me of the power in that blood, and the reason she was here.

"I don't know if our father will _approve_  of you keeping her to _yourself_ , Subaru-kun."

"I don't give a shit what that bastard says," he spat back, lacing every word with venom. "She's mine."

But he couldn't hide the fleeting flash of _fear_ in his eyes.

And, of course I didn't _blame_  him; we _all_  feared _that tyrant_. None of us had ever dared go up against him; he was far too powerful, and each one of my siblings had the unpleasant misfortune of experiencing his _punishments_.

Just then, a snorting of heavy breath snapped out across the air in the dungeon. "Well she isn't yours anyway, asshole."

My head turned in surprise as stalking, echoing footsteps briskly sounded down the hall, accompanied by the scowling face of my triplet.

"Ayato-kun?~" I called, my voice playing his name like a song.

_This is most unexpected. . ._

My gaze flickered up and down his skulking appearance. The torchlight glinted off a piece of metal in his hand: the key.

"Intercepted my message to Reiji, did you?"

Ayato-kun's eyes squinted, glaring so  _endearingly_  in my direction.

I shifted on the balls of my feet as I watched him approach. He wouldn't have gone willingly to _that man,_  and I doubted Reiji _gave_  him the key.

_Reiji is probably laying in the tunnel somewhere with a nasty bruise to the head._

I was unsuccessful at stifling a snicker under my breath with that thought.

My triplet's eyes squeezed even tighter at my amusement as he stepped in front of the door. But my chuckles quickly died in my throat when Ayato-kun's gaze found Bitch-chan's.

I smelled the anger ballooning through him as he registered Subaru-kun's bare chest and _his_ shirt on _her._

_Ah~, this could be a problem. . ._

"What the fuck?" he ground out, his lips sheared back from his fangs, his nostrils flaring. He most certainly had caught the _unmistakable_ scent of sex wafting off both of them.

In a blur of sound and movement, my triplet thrust the key in the door and flung it open. Thankful that my ribs were healed, I hurled myself at him, my arms catching him by the chest as he sped into the cell.

My voice was unusually low and dark as I held him back. "That's exactly what _that man_  wants, Ayato. Don't do it."

Ayato snarled in response, easily throwing me off. I stumbled, my backside colliding with a table.

I sighed inwardly with frustration. When Ayato-kun wanted something, there was no reasoning with him. He had always been a _stubborn_  child.

And Subaru-kun was ready for him, tossing Bitch-chan aside and crouching for a fight.

But Ayato-kun wasn't aiming for my red-eyed brother. With fury propelling his vampire speed, he turned at the last second and grabbed Bitch-chan.

Subaru-kun cursed in rage and lunged at them. But Ayato-kun had always been faster than our youngest brother, faster than all of us. Even carrying the woman, he outran Subaru-kun to the door without a problem, slamming the bars shut in Subaru-kun's face.

"Ayato! You fucking BASTARD!" Subaru-kun's words tore through his chest on a snarl of _pure_ malice.

My triplet answered with his own snarl. "She's _mine_ ," he hissed, clutching her to him angrily, as if they were kids again, fighting over a toy.

I felt my own possessive streak pulse in my veins, but I ignored it, reminding myself it was just _that man's spell_  affecting me.

"Ayato-kun," I called out to him as he carried her down the hall. "You don't want to fuck her, _trust me."_  

He turned and eyed me harshly. In a single fluid motion he lifted his hand, tossing the key into an empty cell -- a _locked_  empty cell.

This time I let out my dramatic sigh on a long breath, running a hand through my hair. "Well, things could get _verrry~_ interesting now. . ." 

"AYATO!" Subaru-kun's shoulder blades rippled as he grabbed the prison door and shook, a fierce sound of primal rage rising out of him.

The chain still hung from his arm where he'd broken out of _that man's_ enchantment, and it clanked noisily against the bars.

Anticipation surged within me. _Hmmm. . . Could he break the door, too?_

Subaru-kun seemed to be wondering the same thing. With another savage, but concentrated growl, he appeared to push all of his _considerable_ strength into his arms.

My brows shot up as the door broke off its hinges.

Subaru-kun threw the hunk of metal aside and glared determinedly down the tunnel. His lips were drawn back from his mouth, his fangs fully exposed. It was clear by his expression that he didn't care about this new power. The bloodlust for my triplet radiated from him, and if not for his cold flesh I'm certain he would have been practically _fevered_  from it.

As if on some automatic instinct to protect my brother, I swiftly moved forward before Subaru-kun could take off after him. My hands twisted his head at an odd angle, snapping his neck.

He fell to the gritty floor in a _satisfying_ heap, unconscious.

I smiled despite my apprehension. He'd be out for a few hours at least.

_Ayato-kun will thank me for that later~. . ._

With a cold calmness, I located my hat amidst the rubble of torture devices. I dusted it off and, sighing on a deep breath, placed it atop my head. The dungeon was eerily quiet; even my other triplet, Kanato-kun, was _unusually_ silent in his cell.

I rubbed the brim of the fedora contemplatively. The corners of my eyes creased in thought as I peered down the underground walkway, deciding my next move.

_Should I go after Ayato-kun, or see how things play out?_

On the one hand, if he fucked our little _plaything,_ he'd obtain the strength to fight off Subaru-kun's wrath. On the other, a fierce jealousy gripped me, and I realized _I_ wanted to fight Ayato-kun myself. Typically it would entertain me _enormously_ to watch such a _thrilling_ situation unfold. Any other time, I would _enjoy_ the idea of Ayato-kun playing with my prey; it made the game sooo much more arousing and exciting.

Even now, my cock twitched at the thought. But the status of _this_ game, with _this_ prey, had just been ratcheted up to an entirely unknown level.

And it seemed as if we were playing right into _his_ hands.

_Well then. . ._

A slow smile crept up my face.

_Perhaps it is a good time to change the rules of the game~. . ._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I used any direct quotes here but the chapter still has some inspiration from [Subaru VS Laito Drama CD](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2013/02/20/diabolik-lovers-versus-subaru-vs-laito/). Just in case, all credit goes to the translator.
> 
> Also, I borrowed the idea of snapping a vampire's neck to knock them out from The Vampire Diaries.


	34. Rejection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayato takes Sayuri away from the dungeon. Both he and Sayuri have complex emotions toward each other. *Major Trigger Warning*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone. I'm so sorry this chapter has taken me a month to update. I'm still not sure how often I can update, but I hope it will be more frequently. I want to thank you for all the comments and kudos. They really make me happy and keep me motivated to write when I'm having difficulty. I hope you all have a Happy New Year and I look forward to better times in the year ahead :-)
> 
>  

* * *

 

I was a mouse in a snake pit.

And the snakes were tearing each other apart to be the one to swallow me.

Closing my eyes tight, I leaned into Ayato's chest as he carried me out of the dungeons at vampiric speed. His arm was looped tightly around my waist, holding me snug against him.

He didn't speak, and I didn't fight.

Some small strand in the back of my mind whispered faintly that I needed to struggle, that I should argue, scream, protest. And I wanted to -- I was aching for Subaru to save me, protect me, as he had done with Laito. But I knew he couldn't. . .

And mostly, I didn't want him to.

_Subaru shouldn't have to fight his own brothers because of me. . ._

I sagged against Ayato, my body simply resigning itself to its fate.

My mind hadn't yet had time to process everything that had happened since I locked myself in that cell with Subaru and Laito. But now, as my eyes slid shut, the terrifying night coalesced in sharp detail, the absolute heaviness of it sinking through my skin.

What had I let him do to me? Subaru. . .

Tears dampened Ayato's jacket, tears that should have been born of disgust, shame, self-hatred. But my defiance, my anger, was so spent, so used up, that I didn't even have the wherewithal for self-loathing. All I felt was pure defeat, as if I were dying on the inside, breaking piece by piece with each moment in this house. I was losing touch with myself at an alarming rate, my mind close to unraveling.

_It would be so much easier to dissolve into weakness. . . to let them do what they want to me. . . to just obediently be their pet. . . to just submit. . ._

Those were my thoughts when I had awoken to find Laito on top of me, and Subaru chained to the floor.

In that moment, it seemed almost as though everything within me had ceased to function. I was near catatonic, unable to rouse myself to anger, to action, or anything beyond the crushing emptiness that made me feel lifeless and dead inside.

But it was Subaru's actions that had truly brought my senses, my will, back to life. He was going to kill his own brother, because of me.

That realization had jarred something inside of me, spurring me to act. Vampire or demon or human -- it didn't matter to me. I wouldn't allow anyone to suffer or die, most certainly not because of me.

And Laito hadn't even tried to fight back when Subaru held the knife to his chest. Something had twisted inside of me to see the surprise and sadness flicker across his face when he realized that Subaru actually intended to do it. It was probably the only true emotion I'd seen from Laito; everything else was hidden under his facade of mockery and cruelty.

But that sadness, that had been real.

Yet, that wasn't the only reason I had willingly given my blood to heal the demented vampire.

Why had I helped such a creature, who had so perversely tormented me?

_Because he was suffering. And Laito has suffered enough in his lifetime._

I tucked my face into Ayato's chest, wondering what was happening to me, who I was becoming.

Did I actually care for Laito?

I cared for Subaru, that much was clear to me now. The way he held me, the way he protected me. . .

My shoulders shook. How could I bond with my captors, when every one of them had shown me such cruelty? 

Hot tears clung to my cheeks, my throat thick with their bitter taste. I was too frightened with myself to think lucidly, but the words _stay strong_  wrestled their way into my mind, helping me grasp onto my fragile sanity as this angry vampire carried me to only god-knew-where at unnatural speed.

Ayato burst through the front doors of the mansion and the early morning sun floated through the thick, soggy leftovers of dew and mist.

All at once, I began to feel claustrophobic in his arms, fear clawing its way into my chest, as if awoken by the sudden daylight.

_Where is he taking me?_

As the wind whipped over my face, a dozen terrifying scenarios, each worse than the last, flared in my mind. Ayato had shoved me up against a wall and strangled me at the school because Laito had touched me first.

What more would he do because of Subaru?

_Oh god. . ._

I clung to the vampire even tighter, as though begging him with my closeness not to harm me. My body trembled in his hold, but I couldn't tell if I was shivering or crying.

Daring to crack my eyes open, I recognized that we were on a path through the woods, te scenery lush and green and completely at odds with the fear running rampant through my entire being.

In the next instant, Ayato turned and a glimpse of headstones flitted past my vision.

Before my mind even had time to register that we were in a graveyard, Ayato stopped suddenly, his hold on me gone. I staggered forward into a darkened building as if I'd been pushed, my body launched forward by his momentum.

Miraculously, I caught myself before falling to the floor, instead stumbling into a wall and scraping my hands against the aging stone.

Brutally aware of Ayato's cold silence behind me, I spun around. Blinking in all directions, I took in what appeared to be a mausoleum, the fetid dampness in the air assaulting my nostrils and clogging my lungs. Decrepit coffins lined the wall, where algae was growing from the stone and trickling drops of water seeped down, almost like blood from a wound.

I found the redheaded vampire silhouetted against the doorway.

My heart hammered in my chest as Ayato's harsh eyes glowed silently back at me for a long, arduous moment, the yellow in his irises flashing through the green.

My shoulders rose as I breathed and lifted my chin, trying to clutch a small flicker of courage.

_Why am I so afraid? What could he possibly do to me that I haven't already survived?_

Ayato flexed his hands by his sides and finally spoke, his voice low beneath his breath, as if he was speaking more to himself than to me. "The scent of the dead should throw the others off our trail for a while." He tipped his head to the ceiling and sighed, like a wolf baying at the night sky. "The power of the full moon has faded. No wonder I'm feeling sluggish." His head dropped back down, his eyes locking with mine. "You're lucky. I might have already ripped you apart, limb by limb. Maybe I still will. You could survive without your legs, couldn't you? That would be a decent punishment."

My heart jumped into my throat, my courage quickly slipping through my fingers, melted by the horror of his words.

_I should have known better. With them, there is always more to fear._

Ayato took a slow step toward me, his eyes narrowed into a pair of reptilian slits.

Instinctively I flattened myself against the wall, the blood pounding beneath my skin. 

"Ayato. . ." His name escaped my lips as a whimper, the sound of the cornered animal that I was.

Like a snake waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike, he suddenly shot forward, closing the short distance faster than I could react.

The breath tore from me in a sob of fear as his frigid fingertips wrapped around the back of my skull. He yanked me off the wall, the force of his hand slamming me to the ground.

My face winced shut as my cheek landed on the thick layer dust and dirt, my hair splaying in knots around me.

"This is what happens when prey betrays me!" Ayato's snarl clipped his words as he pinned me down, gripping my nape so tight that one small snap of his wrist could break my neck.

His knee pressed between my legs, sending a shooting reminder across my flesh of just how exposed I was with only Subaru's shirt clothing my body.

I tried to lift my face off the gritty floor, but I couldn't move. Ayato's free hand clicked in front of my face and my eyes flew wide as he produced the sharp edge of a switchblade.

"Ayato, please!" I cried, hysteria slipping through my voice. "I didn't betray you!"

The vampire leaned down, his head hovering above my ear. "Then why is their scent all over you? You knew you were supposed to be mine _first_."

Ayato pushed his knee harder between my legs, emphasizing his meaning.

I flinched, the ruggedness of his pants rubbing against my bare, sensitive skin. Sobs rushed from me as I shook underneath him, tears and sweat making my hair stick to my face.

His voice lowered dangerously as he pressed the cold, blunt side of the blade to my cheek. "Maybe I should cut off your arms as punishment, so you can't reach for my brothers again."

Ice dripped over my skin, the room around me blurring.

_How can he punish me for something that wasn't my fault?! He knows I can't fight his brothers!_

_Because there is no reasoning with him_ , a voice in the back of my mind whispered.

"I wonder, should I cut them off quickly or slowly? I guess that depends if you fucked them both." He slid the blunt edge down my face and across my shoulder. 

“No! Please, Ayato! Don't!” I pleaded, unable to sound anything but desperate as terror drove through my veins.

_I understand now. . . why none of the other girls survived. . ._

How could Karlheinz ever expect _me_ to survive his sons, even with immortality?

My arm was bent out beside my face, giving me a full view of Ayato's movements. Strands of hair fluttered over my panicked breath as I watched the knife slip down to my elbow. 

My fingers grasped the floor, trembling, as he flipped the blade over, letting the sharp edge meet my pale flesh.

I shut my eyes, struggling ruthlessly to tamp down the panic. I could feel the hysteria pulling at me, clawing to take me under and bury me inside a catatonic, empty being.

And I wanted to give in to it.

How could I possibly handle any more of this horror? It seemed almost appropriate that I was surrounded by coffins and death.

"You should regret betraying me." Ayato's voice turned deadly soft as he carefully dragged the sharp steel down my forearm to my wrist.

A long, thin line of red liquid glistened in its wake.

My teeth clenched, my face twisting in a grimace as I prepared for the pain to slice across my nerve endings.

But to my surprise, I only felt the wet sensation of blood oozing from the wound.

Crying with relief, I realized the pain-killing effects from Laito and Subaru's saliva were still coursing through my body.

But the relief was short-lived; it was merely a cut. Ayato could still follow through on his threat, whether it was painful for me or not.

The vampire's head lowered, hanging over the corner of my vision. "I told you. . . before anyone else. . . you belonged to _me_. Not them. Me."

Through my terror, I caught a flicker of something crossing Ayato's face, something beneath his tone. He seemed almost. . .

 _Hurt_.

My chest tightened. Was that why he was so angry?

But the look was gone before I could fully grasp it, overridden by a sudden shift in his demeanor.

Ayato licked his lips, glaring at the crimson steadily flowing from my arm, his breathing turning heavy and strained.

 _He hasn't fed_. . .

I suddenly remembered Ayato's insistence on ignoring me, abstaining from my blood ever since we shared that memory of Laito's horrific past.

And now the look of sheer starvation on Ayato's face was escalating, the air crackling menacingly around him. I could feel the anger and need pulsating from his body, stronger and stronger every second.

Without thinking, I awkwardly raised my arm as far as I could from my position pinned to the ground. "You. . . you need to feed, Ayato. Drink, please. . .," I whispered, unable to find any shame in my words.

But instead of feeding, Ayato suddenly flipped me onto my back, his eyes flashing. "Why do you want that?! So you can control me?! Invade my mind again?! Hah?!"

My eyes blinked fast, peering up at him in the dim light filtering through the doorway. "Control you? I don't--"

Fury erupted over Ayato's face. "It's your goddamn blood! It's the only blood I can drink! Every other human tastes like shit!" He spat the words at me as if they stung like acid sliding off his tongue.

But then his chin dropped, and slowly, he dipped his face into my neck, his voice turning guttural with need. "Only yours. It's all I've been able to think about. The taste of it, the sweetness of it, that power that flows through me. There's nothing else like it."

A shiver crept across my flesh as the significance of his words settled over me.

_He can't feed on anyone but me? Is it the same for the rest of them? Is that what Karlheinz intended when he made me immortal?_

But Ayato froze my chaotic thoughts when he lifted his head, his eyes snapping to mine. "It's driving me mad! Nothing controls me that way! Especially not my _food_!"

The breath halted in my lungs as he brought the knife to my throat.

"Perhaps if I find a way kill you. . .," Ayato's lips furled in a snarl, "this curse will end."

Fear seared through me as the cold edge of the blade broke through the delicate skin below my jaw.

Paralyzed, only my eyes moved, flicking pleadingly across Ayato's face. His mouth thinned angrily, but the tight lines around his eyes exposed the emotion underneath.

A wave of realization washed over me as I suddenly understood his ire: Ayato was just as confused about this entire situation as I was. The shared memories, the strange power in my blood, my immortality -- all of it seemed to bewilder him, morphing into a blaze of fury he channeled at me.

And his obsession with possessing me first only fueled the fire.

It was a small irony that I had shared a memory with Ayato first -- since it was that memory which now helped me understand his anger with me. His mother rejected him if he wasn't first in everything, if he wasn't the best. She tried to control him, bend him to her will, and when he failed her expectations, she cast him aside like worthless trash.

And now, in his own twisted way, perhaps he saw me as doing the same, controlling him with my blood and memories, then rejecting him for Subaru.

I felt my blood drain down my neck in streams as he held the sharp blade against my throat. But the fear flowed out of my body along with the red liquid: I knew Ayato couldn't kill me this way; he was only taking his emotions out on me.

_He makes others feel pain so he doesn't have to._

Just like Laito. And Subaru. Maybe all of them.

My expression softened as I studied his face, my eyes welling with new tears. But this time they were tears of sadness, not fear.

Why did their pain affect me so greatly? Why did I care? Was this Stockholm Sydrome?

_They are violent and cruel. They are murderers. You do NOT care about them. Snap out of it, Sayuri._

But my voice of logic was only a whisper in the wind, blowing farther and farther away from me each time it spoke. I knew that I shouldn't care, that their pain should mean nothing to me. . . but my arm moved independent of my mind, disobeying my voice of reason and treacherously reaching out to Ayato, to touch his face as if I could wipe away the hurt and anger.

My hand rested softly at his jawline, caressing his smooth, cold skin. "It's okay. . .," I whispered, wishing I could reach through time and cradle the abused child in my arms, and tell him, _"It's okay. She was wrong. About everything."_

Unlike Subaru, Ayato didn't recoil from my touch or stagger to his feet as though I'd slapped him. Instead his shoulders dipped and he leaned into my hand, as if my touch calmed everything within him.

He blinked at me slowly, his hand releasing the knife from my throat, the anger gone from his eyes as he stared at me.

Without saying another word, Ayato stood, tugging me into his arms.

An aching, raw sound emanated from his chest as he buried his fangs into my neck -- into the place he'd marked as his own.

He held me tight against him, his arms wrapped around my back in an almost passionate, desperate embrace. And as soon as that first gulp hit his tongue, I could feel something strung tight within Ayato ease in relief, I could hear it in the groans of ecstasy gathering in his throat, sensed it in the emotion simmering beneath his touch.

My eyelids slipped down, already blinded by everything but the need I felt inside him. I didn't realize my hand had slid up to the back of his neck until I felt the familiar, soft stands of hair under my fingertips. I found myself melting against him as I succumbed to the waves of pleasure sailing through my veins.

The more Ayato drank, the more he relaxed around me. A feeling of my own relief sifted through my body -- relief that at least some of Ayato's pain was alleviated.

A vague sense of shame rattled at the edge of my mind as my voice of logic tried to work its way through, reminding me of all the pain they'd caused _me_.

But I couldn't call forth enough energy to battle with myself. I only knew that, just like his brothers, Ayato had suffered so much in his life through no fault of his own, and I just wanted to hold him.

Maybe it was Stockholm. Maybe it was the only way to cope with the trauma and the horror.

Or maybe it was something else, some deeper, maternal part of me that wanted to soothe the damaged children that still lingered beneath their demon forms. Perhaps in _my_  twisted way, comforting them was akin to comforting my own son who was now left motherless.

Or maybe. . . maybe this was just me, breaking under all of it.

Whatever the reason, it didn't matter. I had no power against it.

_Like everything else._

My skin pulsed in awareness that Ayato's lips were moving across my neck, his tongue gliding along the gash in my throat. . . healing me.

After a moment he pulled back, regarding me with a sated, relaxed expression, so different from the fury that had plagued him ever since our last shared memory. He even grinned, his lips slowly snaking up at the edges to reveal the cocky, arrogant smile he'd had the night he healed me from Reiji's wounds.

"I felt you melting in my arms." Ayato's voice was satisfied, triumphant. His face tilted into his bite mark, giving it a possessive tug with his teeth. "Have you finally realized that you are _my_ prey now?" 

My thoughts struggled to respond, so I didn’t. Subaru flared in my mind, the way he said I belonged to him after he "claimed" me, the way he nearly killed Laito over me.

Swallowing thickly, I suppressed a shudder. I didn't want to belong to _any_  of them. I was desperately gripping to the last pieces of my sense of self, trying not to break and fall apart completely. But I didn't want them fighting over me either, killing each other, or myself, in the process.

"Ayato, I--"

But Ayato didn't let me speak. Instead, a yelp startled out of me as he squeezed his arms around my body and lifted me up. The room spun in a blur, the intoxication of his fangs making everything whirl all the faster.

My back hit the wall and Ayato's hands clamped under my thighs. Wrapping my legs intimately around him, his hips pinned me against the stone.

On instinct I grabbed his shoulders for balance, my pulse quickening at such a vulnerable position, at the heat and hunger swelling in his eyes -- and between my legs. A hunger that wasn't for my blood.

"Ayato, no. Don't do this, please." My voice cracked, my hands pushing against his chest. But I was so weakened by euphoria and exhaustion that I might as well have been air pushing against him. "Please, Ayato." 

_Not him too. I can't. . ._

His expression darkened, and I hardly breathed as he reached for my face, brushing the dirt and grit and tears from my cheek.

His eyes were haunted by hurt and rejection as his fingers trailed along my jaw, his thumb tracing thoughtfully across my bottom lip.

"You. . . Only you," he said softly. "You don't know what you do to me. You can't deny me. Ever."

My chest clenched. _He thinks I'm rejecting him._

"I'm sorry, Ayato. It's not that I want to deny you, I just--"

That tripped his switch, and he snarled. " _That bastard_ may want you to belong to all of us, but I don't care. I'll make you remember who you truly belong to."

I clutched his shoulders. "Ayato, please," I whimpered, the expression on his face making my voice waver.

His head lowered, his nose nearly touching mine, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.

"I'll make sure your body is mine, so that you'll only want _me_." 

I shivered. But somehow I still heard it, the insecurity hidden in his words. 

_Now, instead of being first, he wants to be the best?_

My insides twisted, my voice softening despite my fear. "Ayato. . . you don't need to prove yourself, not to me."

A gasp shot from my lungs as his fingers knotted in my hair and yanked my face upwards, a threat in his eyes. "You don't tell me what I need or don't need."

He stood over me for a moment, strong and frightening. A fine tremor raced across my flesh as his cold fingertips released my hair and wandered beneath Subaru's shirt. They climbed up my side, along my ribs and to my breast, sending sparks of electricity to my core.

_No. . ._

Ayato leaned forward, his voice invading my mind from the way he whispered in my ear. "I'll make you forget my brothers."

My breath caught in my throat. "Ayato. . .," I breathed, a shallow pant pulled from the euphoria flooding my nerve endings as he kneaded my breast.

_Oh god, don't do this. . ._

He pressed his forehead into the crook of my neck, inhaling my scent deep into his lungs. I felt him shudder, felt the need emanating from his body.

Pushing me harder against the wall, he groaned against my skin, his fangs grazing a line up my throat. The blood pounded through my veins as his mouth moved upwards until he took over my lips.

I tasted the primal hunger on his breath as he growled into my mouth.

"You're _mine_. . . Kimiko."

Shock snapped down my spine.

Ayato always called me food or prey, never acknowledging me as anything else.

And certainly not by my name.

 _Kimiko isn't your name,_  a faint voice whispered in the back of my mind.

But somehow it felt natural coming from Ayato. Appropriate.

_Perhaps because I'm feeling less and less like Sayuri with each second in their presence._

Every part of my being felt heavy, sick with surrender. The hazy, heady pleasure already running through my veins mingled with the fear of what I knew was coming, crippling my ability to reason or think or speak.

And I was too weak to fight it.

Ayato broke the kiss and pulled back. I tightly closed my eyes as he moved his hips, fumbling with his pants.

My heart lodged in my throat when I heard the clothing hit the floor, followed by the cold ridge of his arousal wedged against my own warm, exposed flesh.

"Open your eyes." Ayato's fingers pressed beneath my chin, forcing my gaze up to his. "I want you to look at me while I take you."

I wanted to scream at him to stop, but couldn’t. The muscles in my throat seemed paralyzed. With fear or exhaustion or euphoria, I couldn't tell.

Or maybe it was deeper than that, more twisted. Maybe some sick part of me didn't want Ayato to feel rejected.

I didn't avert my eyes as his hands firmly cupped my thighs, holding me up, lingering at my entrance, enjoying the anticipation of what would happen next.

Staring down at me, focused and possessive, Ayato's palms moved to my butt, and all at once he pushed into me.

I sucked in a sharp breath, holding it, unable to even cry out.

His fingers dug into my flesh, forcing me to accept him in as far as he could push, stretching me apart, both violating me and claiming me at the same time. If not for the effects of his fangs, I was certain the movements would have been painful, my body still sore from Subaru's brand of "claiming."

But even as my heart cracked at the thought of the white-haired vampire and what had happened with him just hours earlier, I did not break Ayato's gaze.

And the intimacy of the moment was almost too powerful. Almost unbearable.

I knew Ayato only saw me as a possession, that the hands holding me up against the wall might one day actually tear my limbs off or even kill me. But as our bodies joined, all of that was forgotten. Even though he held all the power over me, underneath that, all I could see was Ayato's vulnerability. . . that he needed me to want him.

After an intense moment, he began to move inside of me, penetrating deeper until each thrust parted my lips with heavy gasps.

My mind floated, splitting away from me as the pleasure tightened in my lower region, streaking across all my nerves.

The wall scraped through Subaru's shirt, the stone pressing against my spine, the coldness of it seeping through the fabric. But the cold gave way to flushing heat as Ayato's fangs dived into my throat, wrenching a burning, thrumming, incredible sensation through my veins and straight to my womanhood.

My body trembled with the tension knotting my insides, and my legs gripped onto the vampire's waist.

My inner muscles began to clench as a rapidly approaching need for release took hold of me, his every stroke magnifying the sensual agony. I couldn't stop the moans and gasps catching in my breath, the sounds echoing in my ears as I reveled in the pleasure, unable to fight it -- and not wanting to. The pleasure was far more welcome than the terror.

A remote part of my brain registered that Ayato's canines had slipped out of my artery and that his hand stalked up my side, stopping at my neck. Fingers closed around my throat, and he slowed his assault inside of me, leaving me suddenly dangling over the edge.

I whimpered, grasping at his shoulders, ashamed as I realized that I didn't want him to stop, that I needed him, needed this pleasure. 

"I want to hear you say it," Ayato grunted, his face looming over me. "Say you belong to me."

I blinked at him in a stupor, trying to draw breath. But his fingers tightened, biting into my skin.

"Say it," he snarled, his lips curling, fangs bared, a desperation in his eyes.

 _No!_ I cried inwardly, a seed of defiance somehow breaking through the euphoria. _I don't belong to any of you!_

Ayato saw the denial in my eyes. His hand nearly encompassed my entire neck, and the pressure squeezed, as if he intended to crush the bones in my throat.

Fear ripped through me; I knew he was capable of such a thing. I latched onto his arm, my mouth gaping with silent pleading.

"Say. It." Ayato gritted his teeth, moving his hips again.

He quickly increased his speed, driving harder into me. The urgent rhythm grew almost frantic with his demand, and all at once I was pushed over the edge.

I fell straight down, into a world beyond all thought, beyond all concerns, only honing in on the ripples of sensation traveling across my body. The tormented need to breathe only took me higher until the pleasure was so intense it was almost painful.

It wasn't fair, how overpowering the euphoria was. It massacred all cares, all reason, and all the fight left in me. It left me helpless. And more powerless than the vampires themselves. 

"Say it!" Ayato slammed the wall beside me with a roar, his eyes filled with yearning, and something else. . .

"I'm. . . yours." His hold on my throat was gone, and the words mindlessly left my lips as my system overloaded with oxygen. "I'm. . . yours. . . I'm yours. . ."

I didn't realize I was repeating the words as I was leveled by a second orgasm, a high so powerful it bowed my back, snapping my head against the stone.

The spasms tore through my body in wave after wave, making me pant the words, "I'm yours. . ." uncontrollably, over and over again, until they trailed off into a mix of tears and gasping breath.

It was terrifying to feel so much, so strongly, that the euphoria left me blinded, senseless, utterly at its mercy, pitting my own body against me.

As I came down from that inexplicable height, Ayato pulled me off the wall into a tight embrace against him.

Aftershocks trembled through both of our bodies, our chests rising and falling in unison. He tucked his head into my shoulder, gently kissing my neck, laving his mark, a light, feathery feeling against my skin.

"That's right. . . _Mine_ ," he whispered tenderly, his fingers moving, softly stroking my back as we both caught our breath.

There was something strangely comforting in his embrace, as if I were truly wanted. Needed. Almost. . . treasured. And that small flicker of affection nearly unravelled me, touching me too deeply, reaching inside to the part of me that was starved for gentleness, for protection, to be cared for after everything I'd suffered. I hungrily breathed it in, shuddering as the feeling overwhelmed me.

And I felt it in Ayato too -- that need to be held, to be soothed and reassured. My arms slipped around him in return, something inside me hoping he could feel the warmth in my embrace.

He pulled me closer, wrapping my legs tigher around him, drawing me into him as though he wanted to seal his whole being inside my body.

He had forced me to say it, to say that I belonged to him. But as we held each other now, it felt as if there were a kind of twisted truth in those words. And not just for me, but for him as well.

Or maybe it was just the euphoria warping my emotions as the world began to darken in my vision.

I could smell blood and dirt and death around us, but it was Ayato's scent I breathed in as I sank heavily into his chest. It was the scent of someone who'd never been loved, never been needed, someone who'd never been good enough.

As my consciousness began to flow away from me, conceding to the exhaustion consuming every cell in my body, tears fell from my face. Tears for me or tears for him, I wasn't sure.

I drew in a lung full of air, collapsing as the darkness settled over me, knowing that, as my body went limp in his arms, Ayato wouldn't let me fall.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, I used a couple of quotes from [Ayato's More Blood Drama CD](https://mikorin.wordpress.com/2013/10/05/diabolik-lovers-more-blood-1) (All credits go to the translator). The part where he threatens to tear her limbs off comes from this CD.
> 
> And Ayato cutting the heroine with a knife is canon. He doesn't cut her arm, but he does use a knife in other ways. In one chapter, he cut open her tongue and sucked her blood that way. Then in his bad ending, the addiction of her blood and the sound of her heartbeat was driving him mad. He took out a knife to make her bleed more so he could drink the blood faster, but Yui was so upset to see him going so crazy that she asked him to kill her and end his pain. And he does.
> 
> Also, I just wanted to note why I didn't choose to have Ayato call Sayuri "Chichinashi". It is simply because I always picture Yui when he says that. It just didn't fit for Sayuri. The occasional "prey" and "food" just fit better for her imo.


	35. Shadows of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri tries to cope with everything that has happened. She learns something unexpected about her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, I hope everyone had a lovely start to the new year and I hope you enjoy my first update of 2017 (☆^ー^☆)
> 
>  
> 
> *************************

 

My lashes slowly fluttered open. My eyes, dry and swollen from crying, stared at nothing inside the mausoleum. For a long while, I lay in a daze, my body like lead. I knew that I was alive, that my heart was still pumping, but I couldn't feel it. I heard my lungs taking in air, but couldn't feel that either.

The one sensation I did feel was the nausea flooding my stomach. But since I couldn't recall the last time I ate food, the threat to vomit was as empty as my insides.

Sunlight filtered through a crack in the slightly opened door, the brightness of it contrasting far too sharply with the darkness enveloping my entire soul. I felt a deadening numbness, one that radiated from the very core of my being.

My hand rose to my forehead, covering the pounding behind my eyes. It took so much effort to move, even to just breathe. I willed myself to give in to the darkness, to get lost in my own mind, where I could pretend that I was home again. That I had never lived through the events of the previous night. That I'd never had my life stolen from me. That Akio was asleep in the next room.

I could even pretend that I had never been sick. No -- that I'd never left Germany and the safety of the hunters and witches I didn't even know had been protecting me.

But the sound of breathing that wasn't my own stirred beside me, and my fantasies dissolved into dust against reality, tearing the hole in my heart wide open. Rousing the energy to turn my head, I found Ayato asleep on the stone bench next to me, his arm draped across my stomach.

The sight of him confirmed it. I was still a captive, still a prisoner in the world of vampires.

With a gasping sob, I sat upright, Ayato's arm slipping off my waist. A roar surged through my ears and the room blurred as images of the dungeon and this mausoleum attacked me, rolling fast and fierce through my mind.

 _Jesus. . ._ Had that nightmare really happened? Could all of it truly have been real?

I swallowed hard, staring down at my body. But I didn't have to look at myself to know. Every cell in my body was stretched taut with the knowledge that the horrifying events had been inescapably real. Subaru's maroon shirt still hung on my shoulders, the grime and blood and dirt still clinging to my skin, a stifling reminder of everything I had endured.

Shaking, I drew my knees to my chest. But my legs stopped short, my brows dipping in confusion at an unfamiliar article of clothing blanketed across my thighs.

_Ayato's jacket._

He covered me with it?

Blinking through the fog in the corners of my eyes, I glanced beside me in surprise at the still sleeping vampire. As I studied him for a long moment, my heart twinged. His face was peaceful, content, almost like a child's. Looking at him this way, vulnerable and almost innocent, it was difficult to believe the violence he was capable of, the violence he had put me through just a few hours earlier.

The thought made me shudder and my eyes fell once again to my body, to the blood and wounds and bruises. Dried crimson littered my battered skin, but to my shock, I could find no evidence of open cuts. My fingers traced along the thin path of blood that streaked the length of my forearm, where Ayato had sliced me open with his switchblade. But the cut itself was gone.

And so were the injuries from the spiked cage, the gashes that had raked through my skin when Laito had yanked me out of that horrible contraption.

_Ayato healed me from all my wounds. Again._

Emotion swelled within me, the force of it growing in my chest, surging rapidly as I fought back tears. I couldn't help reaching for the redhead, my hand lightly touching his sleeping face. My fingers swept under the tips of his hair, tenderly brushing the stray strands from his forehead.

"Thank you," I whispered, my voice catching in my throat.

The vampire stirred but he didn't wake. Rolling onto his back, Ayato's chest rose and fell as he breathed deeply, as if he were in a pleasant dream.

 _Dream_.

My lips parted in a sudden realization. We had slept beside one another, but hadn't shared a memory.

I let out a breath of relief. I didn't _want_  to share any more memories with them. The dreams were responsible for my empathy for them, the pity, the sympathy I knew I shouldn't have.

 _The sympathy you're showing him right now,_  an acrid voice in my mind chastised.

My hand stopped midstroke on Ayato's skin. My throat suddenly closed, reminding me how he'd nearly crushed the bones there while forcing me to declare his ownership of me.

Nausea poured through my stomach and rose in my chest. My eyes landed on the bruises encircling my wrists as they glared at me, reminding me how Subaru had held me down while he too "claimed" me.

 _How could you feel anything for them?_  my consciousness angrily shot at me.

My entire body ached with shame. The cuts may have been healed, but too many other marks rippled up and down my body. And each black and purple bruise had something to say, their accusing voices taunting me, overwhelming me: Did you enjoy being fucked by multiple vampires? Did you enjoy the pleasure, giving yourself over to those demons who tore your life to shreds?

The pleasure had been beyond any words to describe. Even now, my veins shivered with the remembered bliss that had overtaken them. I had never imagined anything could be that intense, that powerful, as if nothing else in the world mattered except that one feeling.

And I hated it.

I hated the way it turned my own mind and body against me, the way it forced me to give in, the way it made me _want_ to give in.

My hand snatched away from Ayato and covered my mouth, muffling the sobs ripping their way up my battered throat. Trembling, I stumbled to my feet, tears rolling over my face, self-hatred gathering in my chest. The mausoleum was suffocating me, the corners darker and closing in. I staggered to the door, wrapping Ayato's jacket around my shoulders. The effort left me winded, my skin feeling too tight, every nerve raw and heavy.

Reaching for the wooden door, it thankfully slid open easier than I anticipated against my weakened arms. I stood at the threshold, my limbs shaking as my gaze roamed across the cemetary. The sun was low in the sky, casting long shadows among the headstones.

With my back against the door, I stood still for a while, just breathing. My lungs filled with the fresh air, my skin warming in the late sunlight. After spending the longest night of my life underground, in dank, cloying air, I had almost forgotten what sun and the outdoors felt like.

My eyes blinked over the gravestones, sightlessly watching the shadows alternating between sunlight and dark. My thoughts echoed the same stark contrast in my mind, alternating between self-loathing. . . and something else.

Something _wrong_.

Now that the euphoria-induced haze was clearing from my mind, I realized I didn't feel what I was expecting to feel towards the vampires who had violated me.

Sure, I hated the pleasure, how it had forced me to give in. But I what I should have hated was  _them_.

I should have been overflowing, boiling with anger toward _them_.

I should have felt  _used_ by them. Filthy. Humiliated. Degraded by what they had done to me.

But the emotion blooming inside me was far different. And far more worrying.

I felt somehow _bonded_  to Ayato and Subaru.  _Connected_. As if they hadn't forced themselves on me, but that instead, we'd shared an experience together, one that brought us. . .  _closer_.

My whole body shook, my mind grappling and struggling to identify, to put words to, this foreign emotion, but couldn't. All I knew was that standing outside the mauseleum, I felt vulnerable, uneasy. . . _unsafe_. . . without one of them by my side.

_Oh god, what is happening to me?_

A band of despair tightened around my chest, and my fingers clenched into a fist, pressing over my heart. Sharing memories with them was bad enough, but this. . . this was worse. This _feeling_ made me care for them even more than the dreams did.

 _No. . . I can't feel like this! They're the ones I need to be protected from! They're the ones that hurt me!_ _I'm not safe WITH them!_

And it wasn't just me I wanted them to protect. There was some sort of protectiveness in me too, something that didn't want to see them hurt -- something that wanted to be the source that eased their hurt.

 _Oh god. What is happening? What is happening to me?_ I repeated over and over in my mind.

I could feel my sanity held together by a thin thread, trying desperately to hold the pieces of myself together. And every moment seemed to bring me closer and closer to falling apart, like I had been shoved out of an airplane without a parachute, and I was just waiting until my body hit the earth and _broke_.

But somewhere in the back of my mind I couldn't help wondering if this feeling, this sense of bonding with them, was the only way to survive without my soul shattering.

_Without breaking._

Or maybe bonding _was_  breaking. Perhaps I just couldn't tell the difference.

My shoulders tensed, my body deeply unsettled. Whatever this new feeling was, it felt like a betrayal to my son, to my family.

And to myself.

Perhaps the black void was better, the place where I lost myself and became an empty shell of a person.

_No, that's not surviving. That's not even existing._

As I numbly watched the rays of sunlight sink further below the horizon, a sense of dread began to quickly pulse to life within me as I realized nighttime was fast approaching.

_Oh Christ. . ._

What would another night bring? What horrors would slide out of the darkness this time?

Disturbingly, I found myself more worried about the vampires than myself. Subaru had nearly killed Laito over me, what would he do to Ayato? Was there anything I could do to stop them from hurting each other?

I crossed my arms to keep from shivering. I couldn't bear the thought of Ayato and Subaru fighting or killing each other. Some instinctual part of me recognized that this wasn't normal, that something about me was different than the other "brides," something that was tearing the brothers apart. And I didn't know what to do stop it.

My teeth gripped onto my bottom lip, quivering with the awareness that I couldn't possibly handle another violent night like the previous one.

A pressure closed in on my chest, the panic trying to grab hold. Gritting my teeth, I tried to shove it back.

_I have to stay strong. The only way to ensure Akio's safety is my own survival._

And my own survival hinged on finding a way to coexist with the vampires. Peacefully, if that was possible.

Closing my eyes, I lifted my face to the darkening sky and breathed in deeply, concentrating on the scent of grass, earth and the hint of stone.

But a noise pulled me from my reverie. My eyes sprang open and I glanced around the cemetery. The air had taken on a bluish, opaque quality as the sun set, making it difficult to see clearly.

But every fiber of my being went on high alert as a shadow skirted at the edge of my vision. My head turned to find a figure a fair distance away, walking amongst the headstones and tombs. I caught a glimpse of dark hair attached to the shape of a man before he disappeared from view.

Glancing at the door, I wondered if I should wake Ayato. But I shook my head, trying to shake away this feeling of being vulnerable without him.

Creeping along the side of the mausoleum, I peered around the corner. My eyes squinted in the gathering darkness, following the man as he stopped in front of a large stone memorial. I didn't recognize him as one of the brothers, but even from this distance he seemed somehow familiar.

Making sure Subaru's shirt and Ayato's jacket sufficiently covered my body, I took a few tentative steps forward, hiding behind a tree for a closer look.

The man's long black coat fluttered in the evening breeze, along with his forest-green hair that hung above the tops of his shoulders. I studied him, taking in each aspect of his appearance, trying to place why he felt so familiar.

Then it came to me. I couldn't recall his name in that moment, but I remembered that I had seen his backside walking away in Ayato's memory.

_He was the one I heard passionately kissing Ayato's mother, as if he worshipped her._

My gaze dropped to the memorial in front of him. In the fading light, I could just make out the first name. My mouth fell open. Etched in the aging stone was the name of the very woman from that memory.

_Cordelia._

The triplets' mother was dead?

The angry words Ayato had spoken after we shared that memory floated back to me: _"I took care of that bitch."_

I hadn't truly understood the meaning of those words until now.

My heart quickened, sadness twisting in my chest. _Ayato killed his own mother?_

Perhaps I should have been horrified, repulsed that he'd done such a terrible thing. But all I felt was a wrenching pity for him. How awful it must have been for him, to hate his mother so much that he'd take her life.

"You must be the current bride."

A jolt of fear struck through my body at the sudden, smooth sound of the man's voice.

He hadn't turned around, but somehow he knew I was there.

"I figured my nephews had a new pet. I could smell you from a mile away." With slow, controlled movements, the man turned to face me.

Our eyes locked, and for a fraction of a second, time stood still, the world looping in great circles around me that nearly drove me to my knees. I clutched onto the tree trunk, struggling to breathe as horrifying images flashed in my mind, sharp and abrupt as lightning.

_Screams and blood. Blood. Blood everywhere. Someone shouting at me to run. "Run, Kimiko! Run!" And then his face: Green hair, crimson eyes, bloodred and determined. Coming for me. Run! I had to run! Then the forest was all around me, black as the night. But I ran and ran, far from the man with the dark green hair._

A sound spilled from my throat, a sound so pained I wasn't even sure it was human. "You. . ." I choked out.

The man's eyes narrowed suspiciously at my reaction, and my own eyes homed in on his fangs.

_Not a man. A vampire._

"Richter." His name was suddenly on my lips, tasting awful on my tongue.

His expression tightened and he took a step toward me. "How do you know who I am?"

His eyes had the same ancient depths as Karlheinz, eyes that belied his true age. My skin crawled with the innate knowledge that this vampire was dangerous, and evil.

_Run!_

The word screamed through my memory and burned into the present. But my body remained frozen, shock rooting me in place. My head pulsed, pounding so loud I couldn't think, couldn't move, couldn't understand the string of images he'd wrung from my mind.

The vampire closed the distance between us in an instant, blocking me against the tree.

He grabbed my face and lurched my chin upwards, his grim, scarlet eyes boring into me. "Who are you?" 

A scream reverberated in my lungs, a screech loud enough to wake Ayato, but the sound couldn't break free from the pure terror now gripping my throat. Everything was frozen inside me, my mind unable to grasp onto a coherent thought, unable to make sense of the jumble of images that had launched through my brain.

But I knew one thing for certain: This vampire was responsible for something horrific in my past. Something so terrible, I'd blocked it out until now.

Richter's eyes darted back and forth between mine, his scrutinizing gaze sliding over my skin, coating me in tremors.

Then a tiny flicker of recognition seemed to cross his features.

"It can't be. . ." Richter's brow creased in confusion.

Every muscle in my body tensed as he leaned into my neck and breathed deeply through his nose. After a long inhale, he straightened, his voice oddly hollow, his eyes were stretched wide as he stared at me, unblinking. "It's not possible. . . You're just a young girl. She would be more than thirty years old by now." 

"Get your hands off her!"

Ayato's voice registered only a split second before Richter's hand abruptly disappeared from my chin.

The sound of Richter's body hitting the ground jarred my senses. I realized I'd been holding my breath and now I forced myself to gulp in air.

I found Ayato clenching his fists at his sides. He stood over the green-haired vampire, his threatening presence heightened as he flashed his fangs in a possessive snarl. "Don't you ever fucking touch her!" 

As Richter rolled to his side, Ayato turned to me, his jaw tight.

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

The honest concern in his eyes shook me off guard, touching something inside me.

Without thinking, I lept to Ayato's side in grateful relief, my fingers curling in his shirt as I hung onto him.

"Yes, I'm okay," I whispered against the safety of him, though I knew I'd probably never be okay again.

I could feel Ayato's muscles tense in surprise at my reaction. But his arm came around my shoulder, surrounding me protectively. The parallel between Subaru protecting me, and Ayato doing the same, was not lost on me. Neither was the fact that I _sought_ safety in Ayato's arms, an act that should have repulsed me. 

As Richter climbed to his feet, Ayato snapped out, "What are you doing here, Uncle?" 

 _Uncle?_  I watched Richter with new eyes, realizing in delayed awareness that he had called the brothers his nephews. _He's a Sakamaki too?_

Richter brushed the dirt and grass from his coat as he glared at Ayato, a stony mask slipping over his eyes. "I should be asking you the same thing, _Nephew_ ," he sneered. "Possessive of your bride as usual? Or are you out here preparing to kill her before she awakens, as usual?" Richter's gaze traveled the length of my body, emphasizing my bruised and bloodied state.

Ayato grimaced at him bitterly. "This one won't _be_  awakening. She's _already_  immortal."

My eyes flicked between the two of them, bewilderment overtaking me. _Awakening? What the hell are they talking about?_

"Not awakening?" Richter's face dropped, and he stared at me in stunned disbelief. "What nonsense is this? She hasn't aged, but her scent is still human, not vampire. And I. . . recognize it. . . It's. . . her, isn't it?"

Ayato's expression darkened. "Yes, it's her," he growled. "The one you stole. The one you _lost._ "

I blinked at them, my mind attempting to process their words.

_Richter. . . stole me?_

A wave of goosebumps flowed down my arms. A remembered terror ballooned through my insides, merging with the bits and pieces of my forgotten memories.

"I ran from him," I breathed, my voice so low I wasn't even sure I'd made a sound. "He was killing everyone, but I ran. And someone found me. Protected me. I don't know who."

Hearing my own words aloud made the flashes in my mind all the more real.

Richter's mouth parted for a moment. "It truly is her," he finally said, confirming the truth behind my sudden memories. The air thickened drastically as the lines in his face hardened. "How can she still be human?" He took a threatening step toward us. "How is that possible?"

Ayato pushed me behind him, setting himself between me and his uncle. I peered around him, twisting my hands together nervously as the situation unfolded.

"She _has_  to awaken. She _has_  to." Richter's voice took on an almost desperate tone as his eyes met mine, clouding over for half a heartbeat before swimming with a strange combination of fear and anticipation.

_Why does he want me to "awaken"? What does that mean? What am I to him?_

A hundred questions wavered on the tip of my tongue, but my lips seemed sealed together.

"You need to leave." Ayato's squared his shoulders and stepped forward, eye to eye with Richter. The warning in his voice was unmistakable. "You'll never take her again. My father should have killed you when he had the chance."

Richter pried his eyes off me to sneer at his nephew. "That's no business of _yours_ , boy. I paid the debt to my brother."

"I don't care what you paid or what you didn’t." Ayato's voice lowered dangerously. "You stay away from her. You stay away from the house. Or I won't be as kind as my father. I'll tear your head off and throw it to the bottom of the lake."

Richter scoffed. "You really are your mother's son."

Even from behind him, I could feel the rage slam through Ayato. His fists clenched impossibly tighter and I couldn't help flinching at the fury vibrating through his body.

But Richter seemed unperturbed by the hatred he inspired in his nephew. In fact, amusement spread over his face, making the red in his eyes gleam. "You think you can take me, boy? You don't have the strength. I have more than a thousand years on you."

The two vampires stared each other down as if they were wolves before a fight. The atmosphere sharpened like a knife and my heart climbed into my throat.

But Ayato's fingers unfurled from his palms, his shoulders dropping a hint as he took a small step back.

Richter grinned as if he had won some great victory as Ayato turned, seemingly as if to leave.

Instead the redhead swung his fist around his body, his knuckles cracking against the bones in Richter's face as they made contact.

I couldn't repress a shocked gasp as Richter _flew_  across the graveyard, landing with a bone-shattering crash against a large headstone far on the other side of the cemetery, the granite crumbling under the force.

Ayato watched his uncle in disbelief, his shoulders expanding on every exhale. He held his hand out in front of him, inspecting it as if it belonged to someone else. I almost missed him say under his breath, "What the hell?" as he opened and closed his palm.

A guttural, agonized groan drew my attention back to Richter. Shards of broken stone rumbled over his body as he slowly rolled on his side and struggled to stand. He staggered, bending his hands on his knees to steady himself.

I shivered as his head turned, his eyes glaring beneath strands of dark hair. Blood dripped down his face as his menacing gaze seared at Ayato for a moment before briefly turning on me. My chest instantly seized in fear at the flash of desire I saw there.

But then his lip turned up at Ayato, peeling back from his fangs. "See you _later_ , boy," Richter spit out. In the next second he vanished into the night air.

Relief made my legs go weak, losing their will to support me. Ayato caught my body, his arms lashing out and pulling me to him. I thought he was going to embrace me protectively. Instead, the fist that had hurled his uncle across the cemetery knotted in my hair and forced my face upwards.

I gave a surprised whimper at the anger I found lurking in his eyes.

"Don't you _ever_ let him touch you again, you understand?" Ayato growled, underscoring his meaning by tightening his hold in my hair. "Understand?"

I took a sharp intake of breath at his words, at the pain wrenched from his fingers. "How can I possibly stop him?" I answered, my tone increasing an octave. I had no power against the vampires, no strength. What did Ayato expect me to do?

"Then make sure you never leave my side again."

Ayato flashed me a crooked smile and released his painful grip.

My eyes blinked widely in disbelief. But he didn't give me a chance to reply as his hand came around my throat in a reminding threat. His thumb brushed up and down my pulse, and my body froze in memory of what he had done to me that morning.

"You're mine, remember?" Ayato's grin broadened, drinking in my fear. Slowly he leaned in until his breath was moving across my ear. "Aren't you, Kimiko?"

Hearing my name on his lips for a second time sent chills down my spine, chills that -- disconcertingly -- weren't wholly unpleasant.

I swallowed heavily, unable to respond. My hands were shaking in apprehension that he would force those words out of me again.

_"I'm yours."_

Instead, he chuckled and, without warning, sank his fangs into "his" mark with bruising force.

A strangled scream broke through my throat. "Ayato, stop! That hurts!" I wailed, digging my nails into his shoulders.

But he only took a quick gulp before pulling back, his lips twisting sadistically.

"Why did you do that?!" I cried in shock, my palm diving over the wound to staunch the bleeding.

"I have to make sure that doesn't heal," he smirked, his eyes glistening possessively. "So the others remember you're mine."

A part of me wanted to shove him for such a sudden, vicious bite. But something in his stare gave me pause, something Ayato didn't give me time to ponder. In the next instant his arms were latched around me, stifling my ability to understand his actions. 

"Let's go. We have a date tonight," he said suddenly, as if the episode with his uncle had never happened.

And before I could ask what the hell he was talking about, the evening wind whisked around me, pulling my hair in a tangle behind me as the vampire sped out of the graveyard, holding me tightly. . . as if he never wanted to let go.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an FYI, Sayuri does not have Cordelia's heart. I have a different plan for her, one that's all my own that I've had planned since I started this fic. 
> 
> On a separate note, I have found other authors copying bits of this story, some of it word for word, some of it reworded to fit their story. Right now, it's not enough for me to feel like I should expose who these people are. But if it continues, I WILL expose them. 
> 
> Please note that plagiarism isn't just copying word for word. Paraphrasing is also plagiarism. Removing or replacing or reordering words is plagiarism. Using someone else's original idea is plagiarism. 
> 
> This may be my first and only fiction, but I am a totally neurotic perfectionist. I never do anything without doing it to the absolute best of my ability. For the past 8 months since I started this story, I have researched and read and worked endless hours learning how to craft language and set scenes and describe emotions. I've learned what my own writing style is and I have been working very hard to perfect it. I've even returned to previous chapters multiple times to rework sentence structure and improve my writing (In fact I totally rewrote the first 3 chapters recently.) I spend hours and hours on this fic. It's not just something I scrape together on the weekend.
> 
> My point is, this is my baby. I love writing, I love working hard to mold this story into something I'm proud of. And I'm happy to share it. But I will stop sharing and possibly even remove the story if the stealing continues. 
> 
> Bottom line, don't take other people's hard work. Have the confidence to believe in yourself and your own ideas. Learn and practice ways to improve yourself. Writing is like anything else, it takes time and patience and lots and lots of practice to get right.


	36. Accepting Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayato takes Sayuri back to the mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, I finally got a chapter done. I hope you all will enjoy it. I'd love to hear from you if you do (and even if you don't, constructive feedback is always welcome. Just don't be mean :P). And of course kudos are always greatly appreciated ♥

* * *

 

It wasn't until we were in front of my bedroom door and the cold floorboards were biting into the soles of my feet as Ayato set me down, that I realized we were back in the mansion. I was sure that my mind must have rummaged through question after question, trying to connect the pieces of my past while the vampire carried me through the forest. But I seemed to have forgotten, or perhaps my thoughts had shut down. My memory only seemed to have recorded my hands as they held tight to the redhead, along with the feeling of _his_  hands, wrapped in a protective embrace around my waist.

But now Ayato's arms were slipping off my chilled skin and turning me to face him. Tilting my head to look up at him, I was met with a fanged grin. His features shone in the soft light of my bedroom, both terrible and beautiful.

"I'll be back at midnight. Make sure you're ready." His tone was playful, mischievous, much like the teenager his looks belied.

In normal circumstances I might've been a teenager myself, lovestruck at the possibility of going on a date with a very handsome boy. But my chest only tightened, the awareness of Ayato's tendency to violence filling me with unease, even as his presence now paradoxically made me feel safe.

"Where are we going?" I asked uncertainly.

His eyebrow arched, matching the curve of his grin. "You'll see."

His fingers closed around the doorknob, pulling the door.

"Wait! You're leaving me?" I exclaimed before he closed it. My mind seemed to have a delayed reaction that I would be alone, a prospect that, at the moment, frightened me to the core. Ayato's presence kept me protected not just from dangerous vampires from my past, but from my own dark thoughts. I didn't want to be left alone, only to be hollowed out inside by shame and self-loathing.

Ayato widened the door. "My uncle wouldn't dare touch you here, inside the house. We would sense his presence before he got the chance." A scowl darkened his features and his voice lowered. "I won't let him near you."

I couldn't help the flutter in my stomach at Ayato's fierce protectiveness. It made me want him to leave even less, a realization that increased the tension in my shoulders.

 _He's just like an animal protecting a bone_ , I tried to remind myself.

Ayato sensed my apprehension. He stepped into the room, his fangs showing behind his growing half-smile. "Or is it that you don't want me to go? Enjoy being with me that much?"

With a sharp tug, his hand cupped behind my nape and roughly caught my body into his chest.

I gave a surprised yelp, though I don't know why. I should have been used to this -- being grabbed. I had, after all, been yanked and pulled and jerked more times than I could count. It was hardly the worst thing they had done to me.

But it was the manner in which they grabbed, with a domineering force that said they had a right to, a force that said they owned me and there was nothing I could do about it. It was this kind of grip that made my heart race in my throat, that made me recognize my utter helplessness against them.

And Ayato knew it. His grin turned predatory, the intimate brush of his body against mine telling me he enjoyed his power over me.

I may have felt bonded to him, closer, even safe in some odd way that I couldn't explain. But that feeling hadn't erased my status as his _prey_.

Normally this ache of powerlessness would piss me off, ignite my defiance. But perhaps I _was_  broken, the flint in my will to fight extinguished and burnt out. I simply stood there, pliant but tense, waiting and watching with bated breath. I _had_  wanted him to stay, hadn't I?

Ayato's thoughts seemed to be along the same path as mine. "I _knew_ you liked being with me the best. But, I don't mind when you struggle. I rather like it actually. Keeps things interesting." His smile spread thicker across his face. "Hehe. . . but this side of you isn't bad either."

Some other time, I might've been disgusted by his words and had a snappy retort. Instead, I saw what lingered behind his arrogance, the insecurity he hid in those words. Something inside me pulled tight and a thought occurred to me, perhaps the most important reason I wanted him to stay with me.

"Where are you going until midnight? Please tell me you're not going to hurt Subaru." I knew Ayato didn't just hide his insecurity behind his words, he also wedged them into his actions, making me afraid for his brother's safety.

The redhead straightened, his grip tightening around the back of my neck. The mischievous light left his eyes, and cold dread slid through my veins as I sensed his anger rising.

"You're worried about _him_? The one you _should_  be worried about is _me._ "

In the next second, my heart launched out of my chest. Ayato threw me onto the bed, slinging his legs across my torso, his fingers latching around my throat.

"I'm sorry, Ayato!" I managed, surprised that he wasn't crushing my windpipe and blocking my ability to speak. "That's not. . . that's not what I meant! I don't want you to get hurt either!" My hand trembled as it reached out to him in the same way it had done that morning when he had attacked me with his switchblade. "I don't want you to hurt each other."

His skin was cold and smooth under my fingertips, like velvet stone. Almost instantly, I felt his anger lessening beneath my touch, felt his hand loosen against my neck. His eyes closed briefly, as though he was comforted by my palm resting softly on his face.

A part of me didn't want to admit that it was comforting to me as well, that I wanted to pull him to me and lace my fingers through his hair, to feel him grow heavy with contentment against me as I held him in my arms.

 _Oh god. . ._  How sick was I becoming to want that?

A raw, jagged stone of despair thickened in my lungs and made it hard to breathe.  
  
Ayato's eyelids slid back open and he leaned down until his face was inches away from mine. "You're mine before Subaru, before any of them. You belong to _me_. As long as you remember that. . . no one will get hurt."

Relief glided down my limbs, and to my shame, I nodded, affirming I was "his" without giving it a thought, as if my subconscious already recognized Ayato's ownership of me without my waking mind realizing it.

 _No. . ._ _I don’t want to belong to him. I don’t want to belong to anyone._

But that wasn't my reality anymore. And perhaps the deeper part of me was beginning to accept my fate. 

"Good." A smile curved the edges of Ayato's lips, and I could hear the mix of amusement and satisfaction simmering in that one word. His thumb brushed softly along my carotid artery, and the glittering behind his yellow-green eyes told me he was enjoying the feel of my pulse throbbing beneath his touch, enjoying his power over me.

After a moment, his gaze traveled down to where my shoulder met my neck, to where he'd viciously bitten me. Strangely, instead of reminding me of my urge to shove him for such a wound, I was struck by the memory of how he'd healed me from all of my other injuries.

I wasn't aware of my hand moving to gently tuck a stray piece of red hair behind his ear. "Thank you for healing me before."

The words were out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying, and I should have been disturbed with myself. _He_ had been the one to cut me open; just because he healed me didn't excuse the violence he put me through.

But that logic was lost in the gratefulness I felt, the recognition that he could have left my wounds to fester and hurt, but he didn't. Some flicker in the back of my mind was aware that I was clinging to any show of kindness, no matter how small.

I swallowed hard, knowing that this feeling of gratitude was only reinforcing his power over me. But I didn't know how to fight it. Or if I even had the will to do so anymore.

It seemed my gratitude had some sort of power over Ayato as well, one that he didn't seem to want. He stiffened, his eyes narrowing as they bore into me. I tensed at the anger reigniting across his face, sensing that he didn't know how to handle my kindness either.

"You're healing far too fast now," he muttered under gritted teeth. "That's fucking pissing me off."

A shocked cry of pain parted my lips as his thumb pressed hard into the almost fully recovered wound.

"That's _my_  mark, _my_  claim, and I don't fucking want it to go away." His eyes sliced back to mine, his face contorting with fury. "I won't forgive you if you let it heal."

I opened my mouth to reply, fighting to find the words that would alleviate this angry obsession with his bite disappearing, an obsession I knew had nothing to do with my healing abilities, or even the mark itself.

But Ayato didn't wait for me to speak. With a heavy snarl filled with emotion, Ayato burrowed his teeth deep into my neck. All of the breath left my lungs, my throat closing with the burn of tears in my eyes. Agony shot through my flesh, all the way down to my toes, making them curl.

But it wasn't just my pain I felt searing through his fangs. I felt his too -- his vulnerability, the sense of rejection he always feared. The emotions flowing from that bite wrenched inside of me, and this time I didn't want to shove him away.

Instead my arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer, even though the euphoria hadn't yet had time to take effect and the sharp plunge of his teeth burned along my nerve endings, making me want to scream out in pain.

Ayato pulled back abruptly, bewilderment streaked across his face. Perhaps he expected me to shove him, to fight, to scream at him to stop. Perhaps he even wanted me to.

But what he wasn't expecting, what he wasn't prepared for, was my willingness to accept his pain.

And neither was I.

 _Oh god. . ._  I watched Ayato's face spin and blur as a wave of nausea washed over me, the question I didn't want to face growing louder in my mind: _What's happening to me?_

Ayato searched my eyes, just as confused about me as I was. Why was I willing to accept his pain when he'd caused me so much?

The vampire studied me for a long moment before finally pushing off the bed and standing on his feet, wiping my blood from his chin.

"I'll be back at midnight," was all he said as he evaporated from the room, leaving me stunned and bleeding. 

A pang of loss at his disappearance twisted my stomach. And my conscience. I couldn't have said how long I blinked at the ceiling, memorizing every blemish in the gilded white paint before my breathing finally returned to some semblance of normal.

Soon I realized I was shivering, and without quite being aware of it, I crawled to the top of the bed and pulled the comforter back. The room seemed to sag and roll underneath me as I tugged the thick, down covers around my bloodied, grimy body. I closed my eyes, hugging the comforter tight, as if it could hold the pieces of myself together.

I suddenly felt more exhausted and sick in my soul than the illness had ever made me feel. A desire swept over me, a wish to sleep for the remainder of my unending lifespan. The sensation filled my veins, uncaring that I desperately needed a shower, that Ayato would be back in a few hours, or that any vampire could come back to torment me at any time. 

Curling in on myself, I allowed the blankets to entomb me within their warmth and comfort, a feeling that felt so foreign against the cold and heavy weariness that had plagued me after everything I had been through.

 

* * *

 

_I didn’t know how long it was before I heard a voice calling my name._

_"Sayuri!" my mother called from the back porch. "It's dinnertime!"_

_My eyes pulled upwards, watching as she stood under the eave, her hands cupped around her mouth as she yelled. I blinked dispassiontely, with no intention of heeding her call; I wasn't leaving my hiding place in the woods behind our house._

_Looking down, I drew divets in the dirt, studying an ant as it crawled over the obstacles I was building for the tiny creature, watching it climb across rocks and leaves and sticks. Nature and the outdoors overflowed with distractions for my grieving nine year old mind, distractions that held the sorrow and loss at bay._

_But somehow, no matter how hard I tried to push them away, thoughts of my adoptive father still found their way to me. I could hear his voice in the wind, blowing through the trees, as if he were right there next to me, enthusiastically pointing out every little observation I might have missed. As Germany's top investigator, my father had possessed a keen eye for detail, both in the environment and in people. A trait he taught me to enjoy._

_My eyes blurred at the memory of him, and the details of my surroundings swam together, disappearing in my tears. He may not have been my real father, but he had loved me as much as any real daughter._

_"I know it hurts, Sayuri," a soft voice whispered._

_I hadn't heard my mother approach, my sobs drowning out the sound of her footsteps. A sharp jolt of self-disappointment bit through me; my father had always taught me to be alert, but here I was, failing him._

_Her arm slid across my shoulder, pulling me into her chest. "He died helping people, fighting the evil in this world." Her hand gently brushed the hair from my face, her palm soft and warm. "If you take comfort in anything, remember how many lives he saved."_

_As my adoptive mother, I knew she loved me too, but I couldn't stop my anger as I bit down on the inside of my bottom lip with fury. "I didn't want him to save other peoples' lives! I wanted him to save his own life! So he could be here! With_ us _!"_

_Something inside of me snapped and I shoved my mother aside, even though all I wanted was to collapse in her arms and cry. Instead, I took off running, swallowing back an anguished wail trapped inside my throat._

_Branches slapped my face and rocks tripped my feet, both trying to take me down. But the pain squeezing my chest pushed me forward in hopes that I could outrun the grief._

No! He can't be dead! _The words slammed through me over and over until I wanted to scream in agony._ _My head rang with them, stopping any coherent thought. I just ran._

_Soon my lungs began burning, my legs like weights pulling me down. I tearfully gave in to my body, sagging against a tree, my knuckles digging into my eyes until spots exploded behind my closed lids._

_Sobs shook my entire body, the sounds floating into the forest around me, mixing with the sounds of nature I'd come to love so much. It seemed so wrong somehow, the sounds of such pain and sorrow amid such beauty._

_I let the breeze graze across my skin and breathed it deep into my lungs, allowing the calming forces surrounding me to soothe my young, troubled soul._

_When my tears finally dried, the sun started sinking below the trees, and the fog from my mind lifted, logic setting in._

_I couldn't stay out here. And I couldn't run from my grief._

_I sniffed, gathering my senses. My fingers bravely clenched into my fists, the lines of my face drawn with determination. My father always taught me to carry on, to be strong, to keep going no matter how hard life became._

_And that was exactly what I would do, even though my chest still felt as if it would cave in on itself from the sorrow._

_Turning around, I brushed the dirt off my bottom and took a step in the direction I had fled. But a flicker in the late sunlight caused me to pause. I lifted my head to find a pair of blue eyes watching me from behind a bush._

_As soon as our eyes collided, the blonde-haired boy turned and ran, disappearing into the underbrush._

_"Hey! Wait!" I called after him, my brow creasing in confusion. I had never seen any other kids on my parents' property before. Curiosity getting the better of me, I scampered through the bushes, a part of me grateful for another distraction from my grief._

_But the boy was gone, not even the sound of his footsteps hurtling over leaves and grass could be heard in the growing evening._

_Sweeping loose strands of my hair from my face, I chewed my lip in indecision. I knew I should get back home, that it would be dark soon. But I wanted to find out who that boy was, lurking on our land._

_My inquisitive nature took over, pushing me forward through the woods._

_Soon I heard laughing and talking, and beyond a hill, the trees opened to a meadow. Staying behind the cover of leaves, I peered down the slope of grass at two boys playing a few yards away. One of them was the blond headed boy who'd spied on me. I studied his features, along with the other, a kid with brown hair to his shoulders._

_I didn't recognize either of the boys. In fact, I didn't recognize the meadow either, even though I had explored every inch of this forest._

_Confusion spread across my face as I glanced to the background behind the boys, at an old-fashioned village situated in the distance against the horizon._

I don't remember any villages like that nearby. . .

_But then the breath stopped in my lungs, my face paling as I watched a plume of smoke billow over one of the buildings._

_One of the boys noticed the flames at the same moment. His brown hair flew out behind him as he dropped whatever was in his hands and took off toward the village screaming, "Mom! Dad!"_

_The other boy was close on his heels. "Edgar, wait!"_

_Fear for both of the boys, and for the village, flooded my system. Without a second thought, my legs flew forward across the meadow._

_The fire spread quickly, covering the darkening sky with a thick black smoke. My eyes searched frantically as I ran, trying to follow the boys through the blurred scenery taking shape in front of me._

_By the time I saw them, the boys had reached the edge of the village._

_The acrid taste of smoke was burning my lungs, making it hard to breathe. I heard the boy named Edgar shouting and the blond boy was pulling his arm, holding him back from the village._

_Edgar fought desperately with his friend, peeling his fingers off his sleeve. "My parents are in there! Let go, Shuu!"_

Shuu? Why does that name sound familiar?

_But my brain didn't have time to dig in my memory. My feet pounded against the dirt road, shock and fear pushing me to catch up to the boys and help in any way I could._

_"Edgar, no! It's too dangerous!" Shuu's grip slipped off the boy's arm and without hesitation, Edgar ran into the village, disappearing behind a wall of smoke._

_My eyes were stinging and blinking fast as I came to a screeching halt next to the blond boy, Shuu. His eyes were wide with desperation as he turned to me. I understood what that look meant. It was the same expression my mother had given the nurses at the hospital when they'd told her my father had been shot._

_"Come on!" Sprinting forward, I pulled my shirt over my mouth and nose to protect against the smoke._

_But a hand latched around my arm like a vice. "No you can't go in there! You'll die too!"_

_My head turned to find genuine concern in the boy's deep blue eyes, even though he didn't know me._

_Or did he? Somehow it felt like he did._

_I had half a second to register an oncoming burst of hot flames roiling over the nearest house before both of us staggered back in shock, the heat flaring against our flesh._

_He was right: it_ was _too dangerous._

 _I hooked my arm under the boy's elbow and pulled him back, further from the flames and smoke. He_   _sunk to his knees, his face half hidden in his hands as he sobbed. "Why did you go in there, Edgar?"_

_I rested a palm on his shoulder, emotion knotted in my chest, feeling helpless against such a fast-moving fire._

_"Wait here," I told him, suddenly realizing what I needed to do. "I'll go get help!"_

_I turned, prepared to run home and call the fire department._   _But I froze as an amused, dark chuckle suddenly rolled over the air, contrasting harshly with the devastating scene._

_"What an amazing fire! That kid was an idiot to go in there!"_

_A boy with glasses and dark hair appeared out of nowhere, stepping beside Shuu, a smug expression settling on his face._

_Shuu's fingers curled into fists, his tear-streaked eyes lifting to this new boy. "Reiji. How dare you insult Edgar," he growled under his breath._

_Reiji?_

_That name sounded familiar too. Recognition of both the boys felt as if it were a word on the tip of my tongue, something my mind already knew but couldn't quite grasp enough to remember._

_The boy pushed his glasses up his nose. "The insult is really with you, Shuu." He shook his head in utter disgust, his tone making me wince. "How could_ you _be Father's successor? Friends with a_ human _of all things. And always out here ignoring your duty. You are worthless!"_

 _My mouth dropped open at the hatred in the boy's tone. And the jealousy. My hands balled, prepared to give this_ Reiji _a piece of my mind for such harsh words. But before my anger came tumbling out, the boy suddenly disappeared into thin air._

_"I'm worthless. . ." Shuu's voice beneath his breath barely reached my ears. My eyes were staring wide in disbelief into the empty air where the boy had just been._

_Where did he go?!_

_Reiji. . . Shuu. . . Their names played in my head, and r_ _ealization started to filter through my consciousness, an inkling of what was happening._

_The fire roared behind me, the wind bolstering the flames as I knelt in front of this beautiful blond boy whom I should have recognized when I first saw him._

_Smoke swirled in all directions, and Shuu didn't look up at me, his gaze fixed on his lap._

_My palm settled gently on his jaw, angling his face to meet mine. The depths of pain in his blue eyes bore into me, his tortured expression making my chest ache for him._

_"You are not_   _worthless," I said, putting as much feeling and emphasis into each word as I could._

_Shuu's gaze flicked to the embers and ash floating in the air, tears rolling over his face. "But Edgar. . . I couldn't stop him. . ."_

_A range of emotion passed over his face -- grief, confusion, anguish -- before finally landing on guilt._

_The smoke burned my eyes but I forced them to stay open, forced them not to blink, willing them to reach this little boy in front of me. "That doesn't make you worthless. It's not your fault."_

_His eyes shifted back to mine, filled with a pain that was so palpable, I wanted nothing more than erase it, wishing I could take the weight of it into myself so that this child wouldn't have to suffer._

_But the edges of my vision tilted and swirled, my heart sinking as the world darkened to black before I could find a way to ease his burden._

The sound of consuming flames gradually faded, the trees and grass and smoke giving way to a soft light and a white comforter. . . and deep sapphire eyes fluttering open, staring back at me.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I used any direct quotes here, but just in case, [Here](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2014/09/20/diabolik-lovers-sakamaki-shu-2/) is Shu's route. All credits belong to the translator.


	37. Shuu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Shuu's POV. It references events from chapters 26 and 27 in case you need a refresher. I hope you all enjoy the update :-)
> 
>  
> 
> **************************

 

_"You are not worthless."_

I blinked once, then twice.

Her blue eyes swirled in front of me, then disappeared in the smoke that was stinging my own eyes. They disappeared the same way he did.

"Edgar!"

Panic pounded through my skull. The flames roared in my ears. The black cloud was all around me.

_I can't see!_

My chest squeezed hard around my lungs.

_Can't. . . breathe!_

I sat up, fingers jamming through my hair, ripping the smoke and flames out of my head.

_Edgar! He's going to die! The flames are too hot! He's human, he won't survive!_

"Shh. . . it's ok now. . ." A soft voice, warm hands on my face.  _It's not your fault._

 _But_   _I couldn't stop him!_

Burning buildings surrounded me. Their straw roofs on fire. Humans screaming. Dying.

"Edgar!"

"Shh. . . Shuu, you're safe now. It's alright."

Her voice was sounding through the flames.

All at once the smell of burning flesh gave way to an intoxicating scent. _Her_  scent, that powerful, overwhelming smell. It was enveloping me, chasing the smoke from my lungs. I desperately inhaled, blindly grabbing for the source. Frantic, I jerked the human warmth into my arms, pressed it into me. Absorbing it.

My fangs pulsed violently. I needed more.

Disoriented and panicked, I shoved her down. My mind blanked out. Turned white. Unaware of anything else, instinct took over.

Sharp canines plunged into her veins. Hot crimson burst into my mouth. Ecstasy pouring down my throat. Flooding over me.

Relief. Aching, desperate _relief_.

I felt her beneath me. So soft, so small. So very _alive._  Ibreathed her in. Tasted her, devoured her. Her heart pounded, vibrating against my fangs. The sound filled my ears. Mixed with her whimpers. Silenced the consuming flames.

"Shh. . . it's alright now. . ." Her whispered words between pained breaths.

They made me tremble. My entire body convulsing. Because it wasn't alright. Edgar was dead. And I was the useless one that couldn't save him.

_"You are not worthless."_

Pain twisted in my chest. Turned and stabbed, like a knife.

Gasping between gulps, I clutched her tighter, my fingers burrowing into her.

_I should have just died. I should have just died along with him._

In a way I knew I had.

_"It's not your fault."_

Goddamn it! Shut up!

I dug deeper, forcing my fangs down into her flesh until I could feel them scraping her bone. Her cries grew louder, ringing in my ears, overpowering her words in my head.

 _Good_. The screams were better. Much better.

Pressing hard against her, crushing her into the mattress, I drank and drank, greedily, mindlessly pulling more from her veins. More. Until it was the only sensation rushing through my flesh. It flowed over my tongue and beneath my skin, more soothing than any symphony.

It didn't take long for her blood to turn sweeter as her pain gave way. I could taste the pleasure running through her body. I groaned, completely lost in the flavor.

But an awareness at the edge of my mind knew I was still trembling, still struggling to breathe. Her blood, it wasn't enough.

I vaguely recognized the light touches that were drifting along my sides, warm hands against my ribcage. "Shh. . . shh. . . it's ok now. . ."

The tightness around my torso slowly began to loosen, her touch comforting me. My head still spinning, I withdrew my fangs and sank against her, the only thing I felt capable of doing.

With my forehead resting in the crook of her neck, I lay for a long while. I felt the fragile breeze of her breath in my hair while my own shuddering lungs took in deeper, longer gulps of air. I listened to the thrum of her faint heartbeat, felt it against my chest, the rhythm soothing me.

As my body eventually calmed, my eyes closed, an utter exhaustion swallowing me. Every cell inside of me wanted to sleep. Maybe I even did. I couldn't have said one way or the other. Once the sense of panic died away, the recollections of what happened began echoing back to me. The memory replayed in my mind, and I numbly lay there while it hung over me. 

Edgar. The village. The color of the flames. Her.

I saw myself watching her as a girl while she spoke to her mother. I heard her sobs as she ran from her grief, felt something familiar knot in my gut. . . a familiarity with that kind of anguish.

Then I found myself with Edgar, the only good thing in my life, the only solace I had from the pressures at home. I could only watch as the orange flames appeared, and my body tensed all over again as I relived it in my mind, endured the agony of being helpless as my best friend disappeared behind that wall of black smoke.

Me. Helpless. The heir to the Vampire King.

I had just stood there. Frozen. Weak.

Self-loathing climbed through my veins, a gnawing self-hatred that was made worse as Reiji's damn voice once more assaulted me. _"Worthless."_

But then something else clawed at me, tore into me, making my teeth clench together.

_"You are not worthless. It's not your fault."_

Her eyes as she said those words. Seeing right through me.

A sudden realization made the pit of my stomach lurch, something I only understood now that my brain wasn't fogged by the damn panic: She actually _had_  seen right through me. Straight into my mind.

With a sharp intake of breath, I pushed up on my elbows and stared down at the woman under me. My lip curled. With anger or confusion, or even curiosity. I wasn't sure.

Her eyes stared right back up at me, the same knowing expression on her face, confirming that she had indeed been inside my head.

She knew.

What the hell?

The pressure began tightening around my lungs again. I grimaced. I couldn't deal with this right now. I had to get out of there before I lost my mind. Go somewhere I could clear my head.

I shut my eyes, tried to teleport, but my brain began looping in circles, and I couldn't concentrate.

"Shuu?"

I ignored her strained voice beneath me.

 _Damn it!_ How did she read my mind? What else does she know? Did the old man know about this?

I raked a hand through my hair. It didn't matter what he knew. I never should have gotten involved in the first place.

_I shouldn't have come here._

Something closed around the inside of my throat. I needed air. I just needed to get away from this whole goddamn situation. I wanted nothing to do with any of it. Not her, not my father, not my brothers, none of it. Even Edgar. I preferred the detached numbness to this pain that she had brought back.

Preparing to shove away from her and walk out, I was uncaring of the message I had been waiting to give the damn woman before I fell asleep beside her.  _She'll find out soon enough anyway._

But before I could move, a knock sounded on the door, followed by an aggravating voice I definitely did not want to hear just then.

"Pardon me from intruding unannounced. My hands are full and I did not wish to wait for you to--"

My head unwittingly turned to find the door opening. Reiji stopped mid-sentence, his eyes narrowing as he looked from me to the woman beneath me. Though he attempted to maintain his cold control, I noticed the tension across his muscles, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the items in his hands.

"What are _you_  doing here?" My sibling's tone was tight, and I knew he was struggling to get each word out.

Reiji's pettiness was the last hassle I needed at that moment. Clearing my face into a blank mask, I climbed off the bed and stood. Reaching for my headphones, I gave him an impassive glance as I walked toward him.

"I was just having dinner," was all I bothered to reply.

Reiji's jaw tightened and his lip furled as he moved aside to let me pass. It didn't escape my notice that he held an emerald green gown wrapped in protective plastic, with matching shoes and a bag of items I didn't care to observe too closely.

I didn't hold back a scoff. _Of_ course _he'd choose her clothes for tonight._  

I shouldn't have cared, but something about it irritated me.

Shoving the feeling away, I walked through the door without another glance at either of them. Turning up the volume on my mp3 player, I unclenched my teeth and let Rachmaninoff shove away the rest of the emotions I didn't want to feel.

Reiji slammed the door as I made my way down the hall, and the anger in that action almost made me pause. But I ignored the uneasiness growing under my skin and continued down the corridor. I anxiously wanted to get out of the house, maybe nap on the bench in the garden, or anywhere I could just get some damn air.

I grimaced. Another nagging part of me wanted to walk straight into the library and search for answers on how the hell she'd read my memories. And how I'd seen hers. I already knew she was immortal, making her unusual from previous brides. Normal humans didn't have the ability to peer into another's mind. There was only one kind in the supernatural world that had that talent. But to my knowledge, it didn't work the way it had with her. The way she _interacted_  with the memory was something I'd never heard of.

Reiji's raised voice reached over Rachmaninoff's piano and interrupted my thoughts. "Answer me! What do you think you were doing with him?! That good-for-nothing?!"

The items in his hands landed with a _thunk_ as I assumed he threw them to the floor.

"I take the liberty of choosing your garments for tonight and even bringing them to you myself, only to find you here with _him_?!"

I could hear her pulse spike as his footsteps approached her, heard her whimper as he yanked her out of the bed. My hand reached for the volume button around my neck, turning it up to drown them out.

I was surprised to find my fingers closed in a fist. My forehead furrowed at the way my gut twisted with the desire to spin around and knock Reiji away from her.

I frowned. _Stupid. Just keep walking._

She was only prey. Unusual prey with by far the most powerful blood I'd ever had, but prey nonetheless. And I knew better than to concern myself with her. 

My nostrils twitched, a strong scent of fear sailing down the hall from behind me. Her fear.

My shoulders tightened. Despite the music turned nearly all the way up, Reiji's voice easily cut through it, his tone black with fury. "We'll see how eager you are to invite that worthless piece of trash into your bed after I discipline you!"

_"You are not worthless."_

My feet suddenly stopped beneath me, refusing my command to keep moving.

"Reiji, please! I'm sorry!" Her voice followed his down the hall, the sound laced with the same fear as her scent. "I didn't know he was here!"

"I will not tolerate excuses! You will not involve yourself with _him!_ " I could hear his fingers squeezing tighter into her arm.

My teeth snapped together, every tendon and muscle tensing with the need to turn around.

_Don't. Leave it alone._

I forced myself to remember what happened whenever I got involved with humans.

The only reason I stopped Reiji before was because the old man had given explicit instructions to contact him if she did anything rash and dangerous for the family. Which Reiji had failed to do in his eagerness to "discipline" her after she called the cops.

But now, I had no reason to stop my brother. And I didn't want to. My mind was still reeling from her meddling inside it without my permission. She deserved whatever Reiji was going to do, regardless of the annoying feeling in my chest that said otherwise.

I resolutely took a step forward, just as the snap of Reiji's pocket crop snatched through the air. Her cries came next, the sounds setting me on edge.

"Stop, Reiji! Please! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please don't!" Her voice was weak and pleading, almost desperate.

For some reason, the pulse in my temple pounded, the sound of her begging grating against my nerves.

The previous night at school, when I'd made her beg me to drink her blood, I knew what an amusingly defiant prey she was, one who wouldn't give in to begging so easily. It was the reason I'd been in her room tonight, waiting for her to wake up so I could deliver her reward for entertaining me, for staving off some of the dullness that my life had become.

I was surprised how pathetic her voice sounded now. And annoyed by how much it bothered me. It dawned on me that I hadn't liked how she looked under me earlier either, with her face milky white and drawn, her expression drained and practically lifeless. Except for those eyes, that infuriating stare that had still said, "It's not your fault."

"No! Reiji, please!"

I could smell her tears now, mingling with her fear as the scent floated down the hallway to where I stood. I didn't understand why it aggravated me. I shouldn't care what my brothers did. I never had before.

I heard Reiji pull the door open, dragging her behind him as he gritted out, "Last time it was five lashes and you barely even flinched. It's obvious you don't learn easily. This time it'll be fifteen! Maybe more! Until you learn never to talk to that useless, worthless swine again!"

_"You are not worthless."_

_Goddamn it!_  I wanted to tear those words from my brain.

Instead I jerked the earphones out and spun on my heel, reaching the doorway in half a second. I stopped head to head with Reiji, blocking him from leaving the room with her.

Our eyes locked and clashed, and at the sight of his hands on her, a pit of hot loathing stirred inside me.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked flatly, my voice deadly low, masking the turmoil underneath.

Reiji's face simmered with true hatred and his tone barely contained his anger. "This is none of your business, _Shuu,_ " he snarled, twisting my name with a sneer. "Move out of my way."

"It _is_  my business," I said stonily. I didn't budge, didn't even blink as I kept my face empty, expressionless, despite the cold fury churning inside me. "I asked you, what do you think you're doing?"

The atmosphere in the room turned dense, thick with our mutual hatred.

"Why are _you_  bothering with this? You have never lifted a finger for _anything_. Don't tell me you are actually starting to  _care_  for another human?" Reiji's features were sharp and biting as he enunciated each syllable, his exasperatingly polite tone dripping with sarcasm.

" _Care?_ " Rage burned at the back of my throat, but I didn't let it show. Reiji rarely got under my skin. I was used to his insults by now. But with that memory fresh in my mind, the weight of his words was pressing down on me, angering me in a way they never had before. "No, I'm sorry to disappoint you. What I _care_ about, are the old man's orders. He is _requiring_  her presence tonight."

From the corner of my eye, I didn't miss the way her eyebrows raised, or the way her lips parted in surprise. A spurt of amusement filtered through my anger. She hadn't expected I'd follow through on our entertaining bargain. Though in truth, neither had I. An unpleasant feeling had slithered around my middle when she had confessed her worry for her human child. And the feeling persisted, aggravating me until I finally found myself contacting the old man for her.

"And why would our father be _requiring_  her?" Reiji's mouth thinned into a distrustful line. "It's never been mandatory for us, or the brides, to attend."

I inched forward threateningly, my voice deepening in a challenge. "Because that's what I arranged."

Reiji looked momentarily startled, and even I recognized the uncharacteristic menace in my stance, the abnormal tenacity in my actions. If I wasn't careful Reiji would indeed suspect I had some growing fondness for the woman. I didn't need that headache.

Backing off, I shrugged nonchalantly as Reiji quickly recovered his own composure and fixed me with a suspicious look.

I threw my hands up in disinterest. "Well, whatever. Do what you want with her. You can be the lowlife that punishes her just for being my meal. It doesn't matter to me, since I won't be the one explaining to the old man why she isn't there tonight."

Furious lines appeared around my brother's eyes. But he knew I was right. Our father would not take kindly to a vicious punishment of his prize experiment because of something that trivial, especially tonight. Reiji would have to contain his petulant jealousy for now. Inwardly, I shook my head. Reiji so desperately wanted my position as eldest and heir, when I couldn't give a rat's ass.

His fangs peered out from beneath his lip as he struggled to keep his composure. With a sneering hiss, he roughly dropped the woman's arm. She gave a soft whimper and stumbled back, rubbing the bruise that was already circling her slender limb.

Reiji glared back at her, his eyes dark with resentment. "Don't think you've escaped punishment. This isn't over."

Brushing past me, Reiji stalked down the hallway stiffly, his muscles taut with suppressed anger. For a moment I watched him go, wondering what had come over me to make me step in between them like I had.

The woman's heavy breathing turned my attention back to her. Her chest was rising and falling, her pulse still accelerated, a mixed scent of fear and relief running through her veins. She was trembling, her small body looking more frail than ever. One of my brothers' shirts hung on her thin frame, covering her to mid-thigh, but torn off the side of her shoulder. It looked like Subaru's shirt, but reeked of Ayato.

I leaned against the doorframe and crossed my arms over my chest. I knew I should turn and leave. I'd already gotten myself far more involved than I wanted with this prey. Instead some idiotic curiosity held me in place, and I studied her thoughtfully for a moment.

Her blue gaze silently stared back at me, uncertain. Dark shadows rested under her eyes, but they were still every bit as expressive and haunting as they had been in that dream, or whatever it was that had happened. I found my lungs beginning to constrict at that look, setting my nerves on edge.

Just what the hell was this woman?

I knew very little of her background or her circumstances surrounding the arrangement to be our bride. As the eldest, the old man entrusted me with more information than my siblings. It was information I didn't want, but to my frustration, he gave it to me all the same. Yet the bastard was still sparse and sporadic about his intentions. He simply told me, "She is the key to the kingdom. I cannot replicate her. We must find her."

Yet once he _had_ found her, he had thrown her right into the middle of us. Normally the brides chose just one of us and even then they couldn't survive. What was the old man playing at?

I grit my teeth in annoyance. Why the hell did I care?

I didn't want the keys to the kingdom, so I hadn't been bothered by what my brothers did to her. I'd had my amusement with her myself, unaffected by whatever pedestal my father kept her on.

My nails dug into my palms. _Don't get involved,_  I repeated to myself irritably. _Nothing good will come of it._

I pushed off the doorframe, suddenly feeling tired all over. This was enough for one night. I didn't want to deal with any more. My fingers reached for my earphones, and I turned my back to leave.

"Shuu wait," she said quickly, but softly. "Thank you for stopping your brother. And. . . for arranging for me to see your father."

I paused in the doorway, my shoulders stiffening.

Was she really that presumptious? That stupid?

Dropping my earphones around my neck, I turned an icy gaze on her. A switch tripped, something snapping in me at the sound of her appreciation, something that wanted to wipe that knowing expression off her face.

I stepped toward her, keeping any emotion hidden under the surface, my voice calm and steady. "You seem to be under the impression that I am doing things for you." 

Being at least partially clever, she sensed something was amiss. Her slender throat moved rather seductively with fear as she swallowed heavily. Her eyes grew ever so slightly wider, and she backed away as I advanced. Her shaky movements, her fear of me -- they stirred the predator inside me.

_Good._

That was preferable to whatever it was that had urged me to chase Reiji away.

_"It's not your fault. You're not worthless."_

A low growl of annoyance groaned in my chest. Her goddamn words wouldn't stop playing in my head. How dare she act like she understood anything when I could rip her throat out in a heartbeat.

"To assume so much, you must want me to tear you apart." I pierced her with a cold, sharp look, my fangs pressed at my lips. The jump in her veins gave a satisfying response. "Make no mistake, I arranged the meeting for you. But I did not 'save' you from Reiji because of some misguided notion I care about your wellbeing."

The back of her knees hit the bed, halting her retreat. A shallow gasp escaped her parted lips as she understood she had nowhere to go. "I - I know that's not why you stopped him," she whispered unsteadily.

I stopped in front of her, towering over her quivering frame. The corner of my mouth tugged into a hint of a smile. The pulse of her fear was almost as intoxicating as her blood. I breathed it in for a moment, allowing it to wash over me, bringing the strongest part of me to life.

Grabbing both her wrists, I pushed her backwards onto the bed. Her breathing turned shallow, hitching as I settled on top of her, letting her feel my weight pinning her.

"You are rather arrogant prey, aren't you?" My tone came out husky and deep as an ache of arousal hardened my cock. I enjoyed her this way, preferred her this way. Frightened. As prey should be. And not making my damn lungs feel like they're running out of air. "You presume to know what I'm thinking, why I do the things I do. So tell me then, since you're such a mind reader. Why did I stop Reiji?"

Her feminine eyes were round with confusion and fear, a much better expression than the eyes that had flayed me open.

"I - I don't know," she stuttered. "But I do know it's not because you care about me."

I chuckled, my face curving around a cruel smirk. "Of course not, I just told you that." My voice turned to silk, and as I spoke, my face leaned in closer until my nose began slowly tracing her jawline. "Come on, if you know me so well, you should know the real reason." 

The vein at base of her throat throbbed, making the scent of her fear waft fragrantly off her skin even stronger than before. My nose stopped its trail and inhaled deeply, enjoying the tremors it sent racing over her skin.

When she didn't answer, I lifted my head, tilting to the side questioningly. "Huh? You can't say? Hnmm. Maybe you don't know as much as you think you do." I lowered my face until our lips were almost touching. "I'll tell you then. . . It's because _I_  want to be the one to punish you."

Her eyes turned a brighter shade of blue against her face as it paled. She blinked, and I could tell she didn't quite understand.

I shook my head a fraction of an inch. "Did you really think you could gain access to my memory without my permission and come away from that unharmed?"

I waited as the comprehension dawned across her face.

"Shuu, I'm so sorry, I truly am. I don't know how that happens. I can't control it." Her words came out fast, tumbling over her voice as it cracked with emotion.

"Do you think that matters to me?"

It really didn't. It didn't change what had happened. I bent my head down and my breath brushed against her ear. "You need to take responsibility."

She visibly shuddered. I knew she could feel me hard against her thighs. A sound somewhere between a grunt and a chuckle rumbled in the back of my throat. I was pleased by both her fear and the distraction it provided.

But there was still something pulling in the back of my mind. Nagging. . . It was the way she had pleaded with Reiji, the way she was shaking now, some of the light gone from her eyes.

I squinted, watching her carefully as I let go of her wrists. She didn't move, just remained flattened against the mattress, her arms next to her head. My gaze didn't leave her face as my right hand traveled down her side, stopping at the bottom of the shirt, which was gathered just below her hips. Letting my fingers slip under the cloth, I gauged her reaction.

Her eyelids briefly slid closed, and moisture gathered under her lashes. Her bottom lip sank between her teeth.

But there was nothing else. No sign of the entertaining woman I'd played around with the previous night.

_Odd. I usually prefer them not to struggle. Less effort that way. . ._

I didn't mind the absence of her glares, the ugly way her face twisted with anger. But something about the absence of the spark behind that anger irked me. Her fear was pleasant, but I didn't like that she was more or less a doll beneath me now, no resistance at all.

This wasn't the woman from the dream, the girl who'd shoved her own mother, who'd been willing to run into a burning village to save a boy she didn't even know, who'd then pulled me back from the flames as I stood by and stupidly watched. Even if it hadn't been exactly real, it'd been real enough.

The thought killed the mood. I slid my hand out from under her shirt and sighed in annoyance. Though it was more troublesome, I seemed to prefer this prey to be more animated than she currently was.

"Since we have a meeting to attend soon, I don't have time to properly punish you now." I didn't mind waiting, letting her stew for a while. Maybe then she'd give me a better reaction. Pressing the corner of my mouth to her ear, I whispered, "I want you to look forward to the thought of me tearing into your body. Maybe I'll make you beg for that as well."

Bringing my face even with hers, I soaked in the fear. Giving her a gratified smirk, I pushed off the bed.

As I stood, my foot crunched on top of something. My gaze fell to the dress Reiji had brought for her, the plastic covering and expensive green fabric bunched in a heap on the floor. Suppressing a scoff, I gritted at her, "Don't wear that gown tonight. Or you'll find that your punishment will be worse."

She didn't move, didn't answer. And didn't look at me with knowing eyes.

Blowing out a satisfied sigh, I straightened, feeling the fog in my mind mostly cleared. I discovered I could focus, and with a dark gleam at her half-naked form laying on the bed, I teleported out of the room.

As I materialized in the darkened library, I rubbed a hand over my chest. My shoulders expanded, and I was relieved to find my lungs had fully recovered.

I could finally breathe.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The panic attack at the beginning of this chapter was inspired by a panic attack Shuu had in the first game. You can find it [here](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2014/09/20/diabolik-lovers-sakamaki-shu-2/)(I dont think I used direct quotes, but just in case, all credits belong to the translator.) In that scene, Shuu and Yui were in town when a fire broke out. Shuu panicked and attacked Yui. Sayuri reacted similar to Yui, by comforting Shuu.
> 
> In addition, Reiji and Shuu's interactions with each other were also inspired by the first game. In Reiji's route, he whipped Yui in the dungeon simply for speaking to Shuu in the hallway. In Shuu's route, Reiji started to punish Yui for being involved with Shuu, but Shuu came to her rescue (and then drank her blood lol). [Shuu's Route,](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2014/09/20/diabolik-lovers-sakamaki-shu-2/) [Reiji's Route](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2013/07/28/diabolik-lovers-sakamaki-reiji-2/)


	38. Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri tries to put the broken pieces of herself back together. But there's someone who doesn't want her to regain her strength.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm back :-). 
> 
> Well, sort of. 
> 
> I'm still recovering from surgery on my wrist. I'm not healing as fast as the doc anticipated, so I have to take it slow with writing. My goal right now is to update this story once a month, but it may be longer depending on how I feel.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter. It's an extra long one for you :D. Though, please bear with me as I did struggle quite a bit with this chapter. In fact, I'm struggling all the way around with everything I have going on in life. But writing is still a hopeless addiction for me, even when I'm blocked. And I am working with a beta reader that I feel very lucky to have found <3\. Thank you so much, dear beta!
> 
> Anyways, I hope the chapter isn't too bad and that you all still enjoy it.

 

A million thoughts struggled to gain my attention, but I couldn't seem to grasp a single one. Everything that had happened in the previous twenty-four hours swirled around me, blurring the room in front of me. My heart beat shallowly in my chest, and I clasped my hands together to keep them from shaking. I knew I was dehydrated and starving; I hadn't had food or water since dinner the night before. But that wasn't the reason my insides were twisting, squeezing the oxygen from my lungs. Something was cracking inside me, coiling hard around my chest, crushing me. As much as I wanted to stay strong, they were getting to me, breaking me down bit by bit.

In a daze, the room faded in and out of focus, and I stared sightlessly at the emerald gown heaped on the floor. It stared back at me, taunting me: “No matter what you do, you're screwed either way.”

That was just how it was with them, wasn't it? Not just with the dress, but with anything. It didn't seem to matter if I showed them kindness or defiance; they would hurt me either way. Maybe Shuu was right, perhaps I _was_ arrogant. Because I had seen their memories, I was assuming I understood them. I was pretending that pieces of the children they used to be were still hidden inside them somewhere, and if I could just reach below the surface, I could bring that part of them out. The maternal part of me wanted to believe that at their core, they weren't demons, that they were just misunderstood, victims of their damaged childhoods. If I could help relieve the pain of the past, then maybe they could see me as something other than _prey_ , and I wouldn't have to spend eternity with monsters who wanted to break me.  
  
And if they weren't truly monsters, then I wouldn't have to feel a total sense of shame and guilt that I was developing feelings for them. Because what did that say about me? What kind of person would I be if I cared for the demons -- the killers -- who had taken me prisoner?  
  
But perhaps I was deluding myself. Perhaps all they really were, were monsters. I had seen the anticipation in Shuu's eyes: He enjoyed frightening me, and he was eager to “punish” me for something I couldn't control, even after I had comforted him out of a panic attack. Ayato, Subaru. . . although they had shown me small moments of affection, they had still hurt me too, had wanted to cause me fear and pain.

It didn't matter what I did, did it? Because they would never stop hurting me. They were predators by nature. And I was always going to be their prey.  
  
I pinched the bridge of my nose, using all of my strength to swallow back the sob rising in my throat.

How stupid was I -- thinking I understood anything about them, thinking that I could reach them, help ease their pain?  
  
No, the only thing that eased their pain was inflicting it on me.  
  
_Christ. . . That's exactly why I accepted their pain, isn't it?_

My skin tightened, my head pounding as I struggled to understand why the hell I had done that. Both Ayato and Shuu had bitten me unnecessarily, agonizingly hard. And I had willingly taken the pain, drawn it into myself. My warped subconscious knew at the time that it was helping them, that projecting their pain on me made _them_ feel better. And I had wanted that because I felt sorry for them.

My hands came over my eyes, pressing into my face, as if I could push all the sick, racing thoughts out of my skull. But the action only seemed to make another realization hit me: it wasn't just the pain I had welcomed, but also the pleasure.  
  
Giving in to that damn euphoria just reinforced their power over me, their ownership. And _that_ was ultimately what they wanted: Control. Not gratitude or understanding or sympathy.  
  
Control. Fear. Pain.

Nausea bubbled in my stomach, and I barely held back the bile burning in my esophagus. Pushing off the bed, my legs shook, the floor rolling beneath me, as if an unseen force was trying to pull me under. Stumbling into the bathroom, I crashed into the countertop, gripping the edge as I tried to steady myself.  
  
Staring down at the sink, I couldn't gather the courage to lift my chin and meet my reflection. I didn't want to see the defeated, dead look in my eyes. It felt like my skin had been stripped off, and if I looked up, I would find someone else in the mirror: a weak, stupid woman who pitied her captors.  
  
“No!” I slammed my hand into the mirror.  
  
Staggering to the shower, I reached in and yanked the faucet handle. I was suddenly desperate for the hot water to scald away everything: the heartbreaking memories of the brothers as children, my willingness to accept their pain _and_ pleasure, the illusion of comfort and safety I had sought in their arms.

But most of all, I needed it to wash away this person I was becoming.  
  
Grabbing the bottom of Subaru’s shirt, I pulled it over my head. The stretching movement made me aware of a deep, inner ache -- a soreness in my lower region. I could still feel the harshness in Subaru’s thrusts, the fullness of him inside me. Shuddering, I tossed the torn fabric to the floor. My fingers pressed into my chest, where his fangs had sank into me, over and over. The skin was healed, but I wasn't sure that _I_ ever would be.  
  
Another set of tremors raced across my flesh and through my insides; the soreness from Ayato's claim was branded there too. I snatched the shirt off the floor, fisted it into a ball and slammed it into the trash can. It may have been Subaru’s shirt, but Ayato had fucked me while I wore it.

A retching sound built hard in my chest. They had taken so much more than just my body. No, I had given them more than that.  
  
Suppressing a scream of rage and agony and frustration, I grabbed a loofah and clattered into the shower. With the water turned full-on to hot, I lifted my mouth to the spray and drank heavily as I let the hatred of my own weakness pour over me.

Coughing as I sucked down too much water too fast, I began scrubbing viciously at my skin. Digging and scraping off all evidence of what had happened to me, I tried to peel away this person, this woman I didn't recognize.  
  
I needed myself back -- Sayuri the Strong, as I used to joke to myself when I was little. I idolized superheroes back then, and Sayuri the Strong, though a silly game at the time, had actually become my identity after my adoptive father had died. The dream of my father's grief brought that memory back, reminded me that that's who I was, that my identity -- Sayuri the Strong -- had followed me throughout my life, even when Sayuri the Sick had threatened to take over.  
  
But now the vampires had stolen that woman from me, and I wanted her _back_. I didn't want to be Kimiko the Captive, who had no backbone, a pathetic creature who cowered under and cared for her cruel, sadistic jailers. I wasn’t sure who I was now, but I sure as hell didn’t want to be _her_.  
  
_Focus on what is important. You are finally meeting with Karlheinz._  
  
My consciousness anchored me. In the midst of all these volatile emotions, I had nearly forgotten what laid at the center of my soul. And now a seam of electricity was beginning to vibrate through me, a tentative, anxious excitement that I would soon know for certain that Akio was safe. It would be the validation I needed, that everything I had endured had been worth it.  
  
Yes. . . Akio was the only thing that mattered.  
  
Releasing a long breath, I closed my eyes and let the loofah drop from my hands. My arms were stinging, the skin beet-red on top of the multiple bruises that still marred my flesh. But I ignored the pain and concentrated on the flow of hot water running down my body. I embraced the burning temperature as it melted away the frozen cold, a cold from both the dungeon and the mausoleum that had sank down into my bones, making me feel as if I would never be warm again.  
  
Suddenly my eyes flew wide, ripped open by the sound of the shower door opening.  
  
“I thought I might find you in here, Bitch-chan.~”  
  
My heart froze inside my ribcage.

 _No. . . No. . ._  

“After all, it was so dusty and _dirty_ down in that cell, wasn't it?”

 _No, no. I'm imagining this. I have to be!_  
  
Laito’s pale, naked body swam in my blurring vision as he closed the door behind him. All of the air left the room as he slinked toward me. Images I had been resisting flooded my mind, making my ears roar. I realized I'd been purposefully focusing on Ayato and Subaru, and even Shuu -- intentionally leaving Laito out of my thoughts so I wouldn't have to face what he put me through.  
  
But now, my head throbbed with remembered terror. I was suddenly hurled back into the cold dungeon, where I could see his twisted grin as he pushed me in that cage, where all the fucked up ways he wanted to break me gleamed in his eyes. I felt the weight of that horrific collar pressing into my neck, cutting into me, blocking the air, forcing me to bend to his will. I felt him push me forward onto my knees as he intended to rape me, before Subaru finally saved me.  
  
Since everything that had happened the night before, I had been in a state of pure disbelief, withdrawing into myself, unable to figure out how to handle all of it. And now that I was finally alone, finally going to meet with the Vampire King, I was finally pulling myself up, putting the shattered pieces of myself back together.  
  
And Laito _knew_ it. And he wasn't going to let me regain my strength.  
  
Something locked down tight around my chest, a potent mix of all the terror and pain and confusion that I'd been holding at bay to keep myself from completely falling apart. All of it suddenly snapped, erupting over me in a red haze of volcanic fury.  
  
“Get out!” Reaching for the nearest thing -- a bottle of shampoo -- I launched it at his face.  
  
Laito easily ducked to the side and it sailed past his head, crashing into the glass door with a loud _thwack_.  
  
“Bitch-chan, what's the matter?~”  
  
The sickening, fake concern in his voice made me grab the conditioner and the body wash next, both bottles flying at him in quick succession. But neither deterred him; I knew nothing would _ever_ deter him. The demented vampire kept coming at me in the enormous shower, a shadow of evil hidden behind a mask of beautiful perfection.  
  
_He can't do this to me! Goddamn him! Goddamn him!_  
  
“You son of a bitch! Get _out_!” My voice cracked, the first sob tearing its way up my throat. Lurching forward, I shoved the bastard, both hands slapping into his bare, white chest. Of course, my strength was nothing against his; it never would be. But I didn't care. Rationality was out of my reach, replaced by a heedless, aching _need_ to hit him.  
  
But Laito quickly snatched my wrists, cold steely hands that felt like shackles. “Bitch-chan. . .”  
  
His voice was a low warning that I ignored. “No! Let go of me you asshole!” I shouted over the running water, twisting frantically in his grip.    
  
The redhead’s eyes flashed and in an instant, he jerked me to him, pulling me into his chest. “Shh. . . If you scream like that, _everyone_ will hear.” My pulse stopped as he pressed his mouth to my ear. “We have a little time to _ourselves_ before we have to leave,and I don't want to be _interrupted_.”  
  
_No!_  
  
The feel of his icy skin pressed up against mine, the sight of him naked before my own vulnerable nudity, the thought of what he was here to do to me -- all of it broke my fragile composure into pieces.  
  
“No! _No_!” The rasping screams lept out of my lungs. I mindlessly wrenched and thrashed against his iron hold, pushing with everything I had, slipping on the wet tile as I kicked out.

But my feeble movements were futile against his inhuman strength, the sounds of my cries muffled against his chest. I was so utterly weak from the lack of food and the massive amounts of blood loss over the previous twenty-four hours, that I couldn't put up any kind of a fight. Not that I could _ever_ put up any kind of a fight against a vampire.  
  
Still, some partially-functioning area of my consciousness recognized that at least I _was_ fighting. That single, vague realization in the back of my mind was the only reminder, the only hope I had, that I hadn't completely lost myself. That I wasn't broken.  
  
Not yet.  
  
But the thought wasn't enough to bring back my logical, clear-headed senses. I heard it, my stifled voice, over and over, as if it were someone else’s hoarse cries that couldn't stop saying word, “No!” I was terrified of what Laito would do next. I couldn't mentally prepare myself for the likelihood that he was going to shove me against the wall and violently rape me. I couldn't. . . I _couldn't_ face that reality.  
  
Instead, what he did was almost as shocking.  
  
He just. . . held me.  
  
I couldn't have said how long I mindlessly existed in that state, pushing and shouting, my screams smothered in his chest. But the entire time, Laito did nothing except hold me tight.  
  
White plumes of steam floated around us as my body eventually shuddered underneath me, drained and empty, slumping against the vampire in defeat.

In spite of everything -- my desire to be strong, to gain back my sense of self -- I couldn't help it. Weak, and utterly exhausted, I let go. Burying my face in his chest, my whole body shook as I wept in his arms. All the stress and fear and trauma of this entire situation condensed inside my throat, choking me, strangling me from within until all I could do was sob to let it out.  
  
Laito’s hand slowly drifted up and down my back, his voice shushing me as if I were a child he was attempting to console.

To my shame, I found his actions soothing as I cried, the gentleness of his hold clouding my thoughts, stilling the terrified voices inside my mind.

The shower water streamed over both of us, heating his icy body against mine. With the calming warmth and my eyes closed as I wept, I almost forgot where I was, whose arms were around me, and that I was needing this solace from the demented monster who had caused my tears.

 _This is probably all part of his mind games, more tools in his arsenal to break me,_  I thought somewhere between my tears.

He had pushed me to the point of snapping, and now he was giving me comfort, a cruel form of kindness. After my mind was ravaged by pain and terror and exhaustion, my psyche couldn't help but be drawn to the source of that comfort, even though it was _him_. And I couldn't stop myself from giving into it any more than I could have fought him off. 

 _I gave in to them too,_ I thought of Ayato and Subaru. 

But, with them, the way they had touched me. . . it hadn't been with the intention to break me. It hadn't even felt as if they'd raped me. I knew deep down there wasn't anything else to call what they had done. But that word seemed too harsh -- too _wrong_ somehow -- to encompass what had happened between us. I had _reveled_ in the pleasure they gave _;_ it took away the terror, made me feel something other than fear. In a sick, twisted way, it connected me to them. And I hadn't been connected to humanity, to anyone, since my abduction.

And now. . . now I was desperate for any show of tenderness. Even from Laito.

It felt as if I spent my entire eternal lifespan crying in his hold, letting myself absorb his soft caresses, before my tears finally began sinking away, my sobs reduced to trembling intakes of air.  
  
I was distantly aware that Laito was speaking, his voice almost a purr. “There, there, Bitch-chan. Are you done now?”  
  
My nerves throbbed, certain that he would attack, now that I was totally defenseless. I couldn't handle it before, and I definitely couldn't handle it now.  
  
“Please,” I choked, my voice cracked and dry from screaming. I despised how weak I sounded, how weak I _felt_. But I had already completely spent myself, unable to do anything except lean into him for support.  
  
“You still seem so _scared_ of me, Bitch-chan.” The vampire leaned back, his index finger running along my jawline to tilt my chin up. “Why are you _so_ frightened? Hmm?” His thumb brushed across the moisture of water and tears gathered on my lower lip. "You're the one who _saved~_ _me_ , aren't you?”

My heart twisted in my chest. The image of Subaru cracking Laito’s bones and crushing his face, the way he held the silver knife over his heart, was still clear in my mind. I stopped Subaru from killing him, and then healed him, because in that moment Laito was not the monster who had tormented and tortured me. He was the boy whose mother had ruined him in the most awful way, and whose own father had tortured _him_. I couldn't bear to watch him suffer any more than he already had.  
  
And as Laito studied me now with curious eyes, something became clear to me: My violent outburst wasn't solely directed at the perverse vampire for what he put me through, for wanting to break me, for coming here now, making me fall apart and taking away what little strength I had tried to gain back.  
  
No, I was also angry at _myself_.

Despite how hard I tried not to, or how foolish I told myself it was -- I _still_ , at that very moment, saw the boy he used to be underneath his malevolent exterior. It didn't excuse what he did to me, and it didn't make me any less terrified of him. In fact, it made me even more afraid. Because it made me _care_.  
  
Laito's fangs glistened behind his lips as he smiled, seeming to read my mind. “You care for me, _don't you_ , Bitch-chan?”  
  
I sucked in a breath and held it, both startled and frightened at his perceptiveness. But I couldn't admit something like that -- I couldn't give them that power over me. Especially not to him. Not to _any_ of them. I didn't even want to acknowledge it to myself.  
  
Instead I croaked out, “No. . . I _hate_ you."

And a part of me did; I hated that I cared.

“ _Hate_ me?" Laito let out a long, chilling laugh. " _S_ ooo interesting. . ." His expression was exaggeratingly puzzled beneath his wave red hair, as if he simply couldn't figure me out. But it was evident that he saw right through my lie. "Well, as much as your fear and _hate_ makes me feel so _alive_ , Bitch-chan, right now, I just want to care for _you_.~”

Planting a quick kiss on my furrowing brow, Laito slipped one hand off my waist and bent down, picking up the shampoo bottle that had rolled near our feet. Too debilitated to do more than stand and watch, I remained silent as the vampire squeezed the liquid from the bottle.

Turning me around, he began working the shampoo through my gritty, matted hair. “It’s nice to have you _awake~_ for this,” he chuckled airily.  
  
I shivered as I recalled the times he had washed my body while I was unconscious. Aside from my eyes being open, it was almost as if I was unconscious now as well, unable to even conjure the energy to be embarrassed or modest of my nakedness.  
  
Laito’s fingertips worked their way up to my scalp, slowly massaging from my nape to the crown of my head. The scent of flowers filled my nostrils, and bubbles of soap gathered around my shoulders, trickling down my chest and back. My body was so sapped, so used up, that I couldn't resist leaning into the relaxing movements of his hands.

All the while, he stood close, his voice just above a whisper over the running water, his tone as unnervingly soft as his touch. “Nobody has ever done anything like that for me before, you know. Even my mother stood by and took _pleasure_ when my father punished me. Nobody has ever _protected_ me.”

I swallowed a heaviness in my throat, an ache of sadness for him that tightened the muscles in my stomach. I also couldn't help the surprise that mixed with it; I hadn't expected that my saving him would’ve had an effect on him. I didn't think _anything_ would have an effect on the mountain of cruelty that lurked behind Laito's eyes. But now I wondered. . . Was it possible? Could even the most twisted evil have a sense of humanity somewhere within it?

He gave a light giggle as though my actions had amused him. “Ah~ I do admit, you _fascinate_ me, Bitch-chan~."

Tilting my head back under the spray, Laito rinsed my hair, followed by his fingertips deftly working the conditioner through the long tendrils.

I was trying to keep my gaurd up, waiting for the moment he would attack, for a switch to flip, turning him violent at any second. But I found it harder and harder to stay on alert as the pads of his fingers rounded my scalp, making the roots of every strand melt with pleasure. Every part of me was becoming limp and boneless as he physically pulled the last of the tension from my body.  
  
“Do you know what else _fascinates_ me, Bitch-chan?” Laito asked after he rinsed the conditioner from my hair. “How I felt when you were with Subaru-kun, the _look_ you gave him, like you were _relieved_ to be with him and not me. That made me. . .  _jealous_.”  
  
His voice was thin and breathy as he seemed to savor that word -- jealous -- as though my ability to wring that emotion from him was something he cherished.  
  
"That feeling. It's something I haven't felt in a _long_ time," he sighed, as if looking back fondly on the memory.  
  
Confusion spread over my face. _Laito_ was jealous? When _he_ had been the one trying to make Subaru react that way?

But the redhead only smiled, ignoring my bewildered look and reaching for the body wash. He poured lavender-scented soap into his hands, foregoing the loofah.  
  
He reached up with slick, soapy palms and slowly skimmed down my throat, trailing over my clavicle, making me shiver with fear as he then moved downwards, towards my breasts.  
  
_This is it. . . he's going to force himself on me now. . ._  I closed my eyes, tensing all over, trying to prepare myself.  
  
But my eyelids flipped open in surprise when he stopped above my left breast, his hand pressed against my sternum.  
  
“Ah~, your heartbeat is _sooo_ _intoxicating_ , Bitch-chan.” His tone was moaning, his fangs peeking from behind his crooked grin. “Give me your hand.”  
  
I hesitated, reluctant to do anything he wanted. But, Laito didn't wait for me to obey. His free hand grasped mine, pressing it into the same place on his chest.  
  
“Do you feel that, Bitch-chan? Do you feel my heart _pounding_?”  
  
My eyes blinked slowly, in a sense of disbelief, mesmerized by this image of us, standing here in this bright, extravagant bathroom, our hands over each other's hearts. It was such a jarring contrast to the night before, in the cold and dark dungeon. It made me think of my feelings toward this vampire, the stark opposition of my terror against my sympathy.  
  
“Bitch-chan, what do you feel?”   
  
I focused on his skin, smooth and warm under my palm. Pale, slender. Beautiful. Yet I could still feel the strength and power in his predator's build. But aside from droplets of water snaking down his chest and over my fingers, I felt nothing. No heartbeat, no pulse.  
  
I shook my head. “I - I don't feel anything,” I stuttered uncertainly, unsure what he was getting at.  
  
One corner of his lips lifted up higher than the other. “That's _right_ , that's because I'm a vampire. But, somehow when we grow _close_ with a human,” he leaned closer until his lips neared my ear, “we do experience something that feels like a heart beating. When I feel _jealous_ , when I'm near you, it's like that.”

 _Vampires don't have a heartbeat?_ My curiosity flickered, followed by my lashes fluttering rapidly, my mind struggling to comprehend what he was trying to say. Was Laito implying. . . he had _feelings_ for me?

Further surprising me, his hand on my chest moved upwards instead of down, sweeping my freshly clean hair over my shoulder.

Stepping behind me, he began washing my back, tracing delicate lines across my shoulder blades, my ribs, and slowly inching down every vertebrae in a way that made my mind and body turn even more hazy, lazy, foggy. My knees dissolved into jelly, shaking to support me.

It became impossible not to revel in the relaxing sensations of the billowing steam and the hot water and the smoothness of his hands. Even as he moved downwards, his palms sliding over my buttocks and down my thighs to my feet, I struggled to stand, struggled to remember where I was and whose fingers were all over my skin.

I couldn't deny how good it felt, how much I was craving this gentleness from the vampire who’d terrorized me. It was so welcome against all the fear and pain he had caused, and the atmosphere took on an almost surreal quality, as if I were in some other dimension, one where Laito wasn't a perverse monster who had hurt me with glee. My brain simply couldn't seem to process that he wasn't tormenting me.  
  
Or maybe he _was. . ._

Because in a way, this tenderness was almost worse. A small, whispering part of me wished he _would_ hurt me, instead of confusing my shattered mind into _enjoying_ his cruelly soft touch. Perhaps he was doing this on purpose, to pull me further into his tangled, twisted web. But like the butterfly, I was powerless against the spider, like so many other things.  
  
“It feels so nice to be touched like this, doesn't it, Bitch-chan?” Laito stood behind me, his arms wrapping around my front, his foamy hands gliding slowly, leisurely, across my stomach, as if he had all the time in the world. My body involuntarily leaned back against his chest, my eyes falling closed as my head settled against his shoulder.

My mind had already lost the battle for coherent, rational thought when his lips touched my skin. My neck bent, granting him access as his mouth moved across the side of my throat, his fangs lightly knicking the artery.

With a sensual moan that rippled all the way down my spine, he began to suck, groaning eagerly as he drank my blood. My body willingly gave in, relaxing in his arms as the silky warmth of euphoria began to travel through my veins. The hot water flowed down over both of us combining with the heat now flowing under my skin.

Still, a warning tugged, far, far in the back of my mind. _You can't give in like this! Not to him!_  
  
But what else could I do?  
  
I could barely breathe for all that I was feeling, could barely stand from physical weakness, could barely cope with all that I had already been through.  
  
I would _never_ be able to do anything against them. And in that moment, I longed to stop fighting, to just give up the control they wanted so badly, to just lose myself and become theirs. How could I always keep fighting? Against six vampires? Especially _this_ one?  
  
Laito’s mouth skated up my neck to my ear, his teeth nibbling around the outer shell, raking goosebumps down my arms. “Ah, Bitch-chan. You don't _really_ hate me, do you?” he whispered, his fang cutting painlessly, pleasurably, through the cartilage. “Because. . . mmn. . . we have a special _bond_ , you and I, don't we?” He gave a small giggle. “A master and his _pet_.”

There was a vague awareness in my mind that his words should have horrified me. But really, wasn't that what I was? Their pet?

_No! You aren't Sayuri! Snap out of it! He's doing this on purpose!_

I tried to grab onto that voice of reason, but I was too drunk with heat and euphoria. It was slipping out of my fingers along with all my strength.

“And such a _lovely_ pet you are,” Laito groaned against my ear. “~Ah, Bitch-chan,” he whined as his arms pulled me tighter against his chest. “I _do_ wish we had more _time_. You are just so. . .  _irresistible_.”

Tremors ran over my flesh as he pressed his pelvis to my backside, and I felt the hardened bulge of his erection against my tailbone. My breathing turned shallow as his hands stroked along the underside swell of my breasts and then moved upwards, his palms sliding atop the sensitive peaks.    
  
_Oh god. . ._ My eyes fluttered, the languor and euphoria blanketed across my body making my skin flare with even more heat.

One of his soapy hands then drifted down to my sex, his fingers washing through my soft curls and over my folds, drugging all my senses with his touch. My nerves hummed with pleasure, my mind lured into a sensual fog that I was too weak and exhausted to resist. He could do whatever he wanted to me and I wouldn't even have it in me to flinch.

Yet instead of violating me, Laito once again made my head spin with his baffling behavior. He turned, pulling us both under the spray, rinsing the foam and bubbles from our skin before reaching to shut the water off.

“Sadly, we’ll just have to continue this _later_. We do have a _big_ night tonight that I wouldn't want you to be too _tired_ for.~”

Blinking the water out of my eyes as it seeped from my scalp, I stared at Laito in stunned, dizzy silence. He was right -- I _did_ have a big night ahead of me. And I couldn't spend it here, losing myself in pleasure from a monster who had tortured me, who had wanted to break me.

My fingernails bit into my palms as I tried to force myself out of this hazy stupor Laito had lured me into.

But then he swung a towel over my shoulders and reminded me just how weak my body was. "I just heard the familiar bring the food I ordered into the bedroom. I'm sure you're starving,~ aren't you?"

I _was_ starving. More than I ever had been in my life. My knees nearly buckled, my stomach painfully turning in on itself. I _was_ starving. More than I ever had been in my life.

"Laito-kun is a good,  _kind_  master, to think of you,” he smiled, working the towel through my soaked hair.

I watched water trickle from his wet hair, dripping lines down his jaw, to his throat and chest. He _was_ being kind. And tender and gentle -- even stopping himself from his lust. The exact opposite of what happened in the dungeon.

What the hell was going on? If he was trying to break me, wouldn't he have attacked by now, especially with his. . . arousal? Or was that just another diabolical way of messing with my mind?

In some ways I hoped it was. That would make him the monster I needed him to be -- it would make it easier not to care.

But the bigger part of me dared to hope, _wanted_ to hope. . . 

_Did I have some kind of positive effect on him?_

Laito smiled, his lips pulling up at the corners as he tugged the towel around my shoulders. “This has been sooo nice, but I'm afraid it's time for me to go. We both have to get _ready_ , don't we?” He reached up and swiped a stray droplet of water raining down my temple. “Although~. . . I _did_ forget to mention, we are having our own _little_ meeting before we leave, so you'll need to be ready _before_ midnight.”

My eyes grew wide. “What?!” I blurted out, my voice thick and raspy from crying.

“Oh dear, we _are_ low on time, aren't we?” Laito mocked, as if he had no clue how close to midnight it already was.

“Why didn't you say anything?!” I somehow coaxed my body, lunging for the bathroom door in a state of urgency. But before I could even take a step, Laito’s arms looped around me, drawing me into his chest.

“~Ah, not so fast, Bitch-chan.”

Something in his voice shivered over my skin. With a startled breath, I looked up to find a darkening expression spreading over his face.

“Before I go, I want you to know something. . .”

He paused for a moment, taking a long strand of my damp hair and curling it around his index finger.

“Back in the dungeon. . . You know I heard _everything_ with Subaru-kun. Hmm. . . What he did to you, the way you _moaned. . ._  You really did seem to _enjoy_ yourself with him, didn't you?~”

My insides went cold, tensing my entire body. I squirmed uneasily in his hold, but his fingers rose to the back of my neck, preventing me from moving. 

“I _really_ didn't like it, how you looked at him. And I didn't like that Ayato-kun took you either. I can just _imagine_ what he did to you too. You enjoyed him as well, didn't you?”

Laito licked his lips, his soft voice dripping with perverse pleasure, contradicting with his words and making fear and disgust crawl down my back.

“So after all this _jealousy_ I've been feeling, I've decided that you _must_ be _my_ pet. Just mine. Right?"

All the color fled from my face as I blinked at him, trying to grasp his meaning. 

"I know you don't _really_ hate me. Because you saved me. You healed me. Soooo,~ that means you know you _truly_ belong to _me_ , don't you?" Laito tilted his head, grinning down at me predatorily. "And since you're _mine_ , that means I merely gave Subaru-kun and Ayato-kun _permission_ to use you.”

Acid churned in my stomach, and I wanted to run, the familiar terror of him inching its way through my dry and withered veins. But I couldn't move.

The vampire drew in close, bending over my small frame, his breath fanning over my lips. “Now since we are supposed to _share_ you, I'll let them have their access to you. _Buuuttt~_ ,” he drew out the word with an exaggerated emphasis, his sharp teeth baring behind his grin. “I want you to be a _good_ bitch-chan. I _never_ want to see you look at my brothers the way you did with Subaru-kun. Is that understood?”

I gaped at him wide-eyed, my voice gone, my mind trying desperately to process his words, this shift in his emotions. _Is that what all this is about? Jealousy? Is this some twisted way that means he somehow cares about me?_

When I didn't respond, Laito pressed his cheek to my face, his lips whispering against my ear. “That is, of course, unless you _want_ to be chained and collared like before. I don't have _any_ problem with that.~”

His words were calmly spoken and clipped with a chuckle. But they stole the bones from my flesh. The thick and bitter truth became evident to me then, rising up to clog my throat: Just as I had suspected, he had been playing a game all along. He had enjoyed putting me in that collar, enjoyed his control over me, enjoyed forcing me to bend to his will. And he would enjoy doing it again.

A dark and disturbing gleam filled his gaze as he leaned back to watch that realization fall across my face.

 _God, just how stupid am I?_ I had known it -- I had known it in my  _gut_  that he was using my weakened mental state against me. He was just trying to bend me to his will all over again, this time without leaving marks around my neck.

And I had gone right along with it, letting myself _hope_ , letting myself _enjoy_ the monster’s touch.

But it was all just another form of _control_.

Angry tears bit at my eyes, my teeth snapping together so hard it shot pain straight through my head.

 _I don't have time for this!_  
  
The sick bastard had already fucked with my mind enough for one weekend. I had my son to think about, not these stupid head games. _“Fuck you!”_ I wanted to yell and hurl angry curses at him -- and at myself. But his hand clenched the back of my neck with a sudden fierceness that paralyzed me, bringing all of my attention back to his eyes so close in front of mine. The fear that I had felt in the dungeon clawed at me, the possessiveness I now saw in his gaze digging down into my flesh.

“Mm. . .” Laito pressed his hips to me and my heart stuttered as I could still feel his hardness through the towel around his waist. “I want to give it to you, Bitch-chan. The best _corrupted_ pleasure there is.”

His chilling smile made me taste my fear, brittle and metallic in my mouth. Then I realized my teeth had taken hold of my bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood.

I gasped as Laito pressed his mouth to mine, sucking on my injured flesh. His lips turned soft, with a tenderness that matched his earlier behavior, reminding me of my own sickening response to him. Whimpering, I tried to struggle, tried to push away from him, from myself, from everything. But he held my head and my body in place.

“Mmm, Bitch-chan, you are _delectable_. But I really must go now. See you soon, my _pet_.”

And with a satisfied laugh that echoed through the bathroom, Laito just disappeared. 

Staggering backwards, the breath that I was holding slid out of my lungs. Terror and confusion and frustration mingled together, feeding on one another until I felt as if I would burst. My body vibrated as I trembled, and I pulled the thick towel tight around me, clutching it to stop my shaking, needing to hold onto something before I lost my sanity. I was naked and vulnerable. Exposed. I clung to the terry cloth tighter and tighter, needing it to cover me.

 _Oh god. . ._ How could I have fallen for his tricks? How could I have broken down and found comfort in _his_ arms -- of all people? And how could I have even considered for a second that he might have feelings for me? How much of an idiot was I?

_He probably isn't even capable of such a thing as “feelings”._

No. . . he wouldn't be. How could Laito possibly understand love or any kind of emotional bond after what his mother did to him?

I stared into the empty space where Laito disappeared. Pangs of sadness for him stabbed into the core of my being and crept up like a vine to pool in my eyes. I bit hard into my lip, reopening the healing cut in a desperate attempt to mask the pain I felt for the demented vampire. But as the tears drained down my face, the taste of blood in my mouth only made me realize just how wrong I had been.

He _was_ a monster -- but that didn't make it any easier to hate him.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is inspired by a couple of things. First, the Laito Jealousy drama CD. That situation takes place after the Laito vs Subaru CD (which my dungeon stuff was also based on). In Jealousy, Laito finds the heroine in the shower after the dungeon and tells her how jealous he was of Subaru and that she belongs to him, not Subaru. However, in that situation Laito was extremely cruel, using his fingernails to tear open any bite marks left by Subaru. I couldn't do something like that to Sayuri, not after what I already put her through :P. I decided to use some Laito-mind-fuckery instead. And some of his mind games here are inspired by a chapter in his route on the original game, where Laito was horribly cruel to Yui, and then in the very next chapter, he was almost sweet and soft, contrasting his cruelty with his particular type of "kindness." The part with the "hearts" is taken from that chapter. 
> 
> I don't think I used any direct quotes from Jealousy, but just in case, [ here's](http://misty-moon-night.tumblr.com/post/62901108724/translation-diabolik-lovers-jealousy-cd-track-3) the cd. All credits go to the translator.
> 
> And here is [Laito's Route](https://yumemirusekai.wordpress.com/2014/07/08/diabolik-lovers-sakamaki-laito-2/) (All credits go to the translator)
> 
> ******************
> 
> OK, one more thing that needs to be addressed: In this chapter, Sayuri is confused about how she feels about what happened with Ayato and Subaru. I want to clarify that what happened with them definitely *was* rape. It was NOT consensual. She is having realistic psychological reactions to her situation. Many women do get confused on whether they were raped or not, and they can have mixed, twisted feelings about it afterwards. But it's still rape. There is nothing okay about what Subaru and Ayato did. They were wrong in every sense of the word. They aren't heroes in this story.
> 
> ******  
> Edit Oct 5, 2017: I've recently reread this chapter and it doesn't quite flow right to me. I'm probs gonna work on fixing it at some point, reworking it so that it feels more coherent, to me at least. The emotions that she is going through here are so much to process that it's difficult to write them in a realistic, believable way. And of course Laito's manipulations are always difficult to write realistically (＞＜)


	39. Survivor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri makes a pivotal decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is a lot shorter than my usual chapters, so that's why you guys are getting an update a lot sooner than I anticipated. But I felt that what happens here deserved to stand on its own :)

 

* * *

 

 

I wanted to collapse. Just drop to the floor, curl in a ball, and lay there forever, where I could just disappear into the dark corners of my mind. Too much had happened in too short amount of time and it was too much to process. I just wanted to shut it all out. Forget.

My eyelids slid closed, knowing that I couldn't let myself succumb to such weakness. Not now. Not tonight. Somehow I had to reach deep within myself and find the will to keep going.  

But I didn't know if I could. 

To my relief, a much stronger force pulled at me, a force that, all at once, _did_ make me forget my situation and everything in it: The intense scent of food floating into my nostrils and ravaging my insides with hunger.

Without even being aware of my actions, I opened the bathroom door and stumbled across my bedroom to the cart of food Laito had ordered, its aroma drawing me in like a fish on a line.

I didn't remember lifting the lid on the silver platter or picking up a fork and bringing the food to my mouth. I didn't even recall what the meal had been; my memory only homed in on the _taste._ The taste of utter relief _._

My trembling knees gradually grew stronger beneath me, the life returning to me, filling the veins under my skin. I had never felt such desperate hunger, nor such weakness in my body. Whatever the supernatural reason for my immortality was, it seemed to drive me to an unbearable sense of starvation after significant blood loss.

The thought suddenly made me picture Ayato, with his arms around me, groaning as he eagerly drank my blood after starving himself for days. I blinked at the image of him in my mind, wondering if this was how he had felt, this wretched desperation followed by blissful relief.

But then a wave of nausea turned the food in my stomach as I remembered _why_ Ayato had avoided me in the first place.

_“It’s the only blood I can drink! Every other human tastes like shit!”_

My nerves turned cold as I dropped the fork with a clatter. _Is that Karlheinz’s purpose for me? The one and only eternal blood bag for his demented sons?_

Swallowing hard, I swept a napkin over my mouth.

_Tonight, I will ask him just that._

My heart clenched in my chest. I had so much I wanted to ask -- the source of my immortality, what happened to my biological parents, why Richter had taken me, why I wasn't sick anymore. But there was only one question that truly mattered.

I closed my eyes tight, and Akio’s face grew vibrant in my mind. Every detail flooded over me, his round cheeks that puffed up when he smiled, his huge and innocent eyes, the irises so dark they melded together with his pupils.

Oh god, how I missed him.

My throat closed and I could feel the threat of tears burning in my eyes. I hoped he was happy with his grandmother, that he was making friends at his new school, and that he wasn’t missing me as desperately as I missed him.

 _But even that would be better than having him here_ , I thought, my fingers locking into fists.

The cruelty that the vampires had endured as children flared in my mind. I would _never_ allow Akio to suffer such a fate. Just the slightest inkling of my son facing what the brothers had been through filled me with rage and terror.

_But even if Akio was brought here and grew up to be a monster like them, I'd still love him._

That sudden, random thought nearly brought me to my knees. My jaw tightened, horrified by what my own mind was trying to say.  

_No! It's not the same, not even in the same ball park! They aren't my children! They are the reason Akio is without me!_

My blood turned to icy fury at myself, at my subconscious trying to find any justification for my sympathy for the brothers. But that fury didn't stop more traitorous thoughts from snaking their way into my brain.

_Are they truly the reason Akio is without me? Is it really them keeping me prisoner. . . or Karlheinz?_

_Would they free me if it weren't for their father?_

My lips pressed tightly together. _No, of course not._ _They’ll never let me go,_ I thought angrily of their insanely possessive behavior.

_But then again. . . even that. . ._

I could tell there was something unusual -- something terribly _off --_ about the brothers’ jealousy over me. Was that their father’s doing? The Vampire King had openly admitted to experimenting on me. Had he done something to his sons as well?

_Stop it, Sayuri! They aren't victims! They aren't innocent in this!_

My fingers tangled into my still dampened hair, grabbing the strands as if I could physically rip my warring emotions from my skull. Every time I managed to push aside one set of questions or thoughts or worries, my brain bombarded me with others. And I couldn't take it anymore.

I’d had _enough_.

A solid, heated rage came rushing out of me. Half-growling, half-sobbing, I pushed the cart of food, slamming it into the wall.

The plate and dinnerware crashed with a satisfying _clang_. I grabbed random items off the dresser, one after the other, hurling them across the room. I  _needed_ to hear them hit the walls of this place that held me hostage, this place where I had no control.

Whirling around in fury, my eyes landed on Reiji's gown crumpled by the bed. The hump of green fabric looked so small next to the giant four-poster king, but its voice was large and loud as it screamed at me: "What are you going to do?"

I reached the dress in two strides, suddenly realizing  _exactly_ what I was going to do.

With as much drive as I could find within me, I kicked the plastic-covered cloth, launching it away from me as forcefully as I shoved away all my sympathy, all the sorrow, all the _care_ for the brothers that I didn't want to feel.

Hissing through my teeth as I marched to the closet, I kicked aside the matching green shoes and a small bag of items Reiji had also brought. Jewelry scattered out of the bag, sending glittering emeralds and diamonds skidding across the floorboards.

Throwing open the closet door, a sense of determination hovered over my anger as I headed to the back of the enormous wardrobe. Every step I took away from that damn gown asserted the _rightness_ of my choice. The vampires were going to do whatever they wanted. If Reiji didn't whip me for the dress, he'd find some other reason. And even if I didn’t wear the dress as Shuu demanded, he would still punish me for "invading" his mind. I couldn't predict Subaru nor Ayato’s behavior, and certainly not Kanato’s. And I definitely didn't have a handle on Laito.

In the chaos of this house, there was only one thing that was more clear than ever after what I'd been through since the previous night: I had no control over the brothers. The only thing I had control over was keeping my son safe. But  _that_ was the only control I needed.

And now, more than ever, I had to focus on that, or I really would go insane.

With my resolve overtaking my temper, I made my way through the closet, my fingers trailing across the mix of fabrics until I reached the cluster of gowns I had discovered during my first night in the house.

A heaviness settled in my throat as I ruffled through the dresses, an aching sadness for all the young girls who'd perished among the vampires. Compared to what I had been through, I wondered what they had suffered, what horrors they had endured.

_None of them would have survived a night like last night. . ._

I pulled an elegant, classic gown off the rack, one that matched my eyes -- one that would make a beautiful tribute to the previous brides.

 _Tonight_ , I decided, _I'll honor them in my own way._

They had been kids too, and just like Akio, they'd had their lives ruined by Karlheinz.

_Just as he destroyed his own children. . ._

No! I shoved the traitorous thought away from me, kicking it away to join all the others that tried to make me feel sorry for the brothers. 

Grabbing the towel that Laito had wrapped around me, I slipped it off my torso and stepped into the blue gown. The exquisite skirt draped to the floor, the chiffon layers flowing glamorously around a slit on the left side that went nearly to my hip. The soft bodice came up to wrap around my neck, leaving my arms and shoulders bare. The dress was backless, accenting my slim waist and making it easy to zip the fabric myself. 

Concerned about my bruises showing, I turned to the full-length mirror covering the closet’s back wall. And for a handful of seconds, I didn't breathe. Not only was the fit perfect, but shockingly, the bruises were gone, my smooth, white skin setting off the gown with my eyes.

I stepped closer to the mirror, inspecting every inch of my body. Even my face -- which should have been red and puffy from crying in Laito’s arms -- was more flawless and unblemished than I'd ever seen it.

How did my flesh suddenly become so silky and unmarred?

I walked out of the closet, my eyebrows drawn together in bewilderment. Looking up, I glimpsed the food cart lodged against the wall. For a moment I couldn't help wondering, _did the meal restore my blood somehow? Flush away the bruising and swelling?_

Running a hand through my drying hair, I also glimpsed the clock on the wall. Eleven twenty-two.

_Shit!_

Ayato had said he'd be here at midnight, but if Laito was to be believed, he could be here at any moment.

Darting into the bathroom, the bruises forgotten, I quickly rummaged through the drawers, scrounging for rubber bands and bobby pins. During my two years of sickness, I never had the energy to spend an hour on my appearance; out of necessity, I’d mastered the art of composing myself in record time with minimal effort. Tossing my yards of hair in a thick ponytail, I put my skills to use, arranging a wide, elegantly loose bun while leaving bangs and long tendrils down the sides to frame my face. I also discovered eyeliner and mascara, both of which I applied lightly and swiftly.

A knock rapped on the door just as I ran into the closet, slipping on a pair of shiny, silver heels. “Just a moment,” I called out nervously, my insides knotting.

Pulling my shoulders back, I took one last look in the closet mirror. I could almost feel the eyes of all the girls that came before me looking at my reflection too, their spirits surrounding me, uplifting me. Everything I'd endured, from Reiji’s whip, to the dungeon, to falling apart in Laito's arms, had broken pieces of me. But now I felt the pieces mending, as if the girls were lending me their strength.

 _Maybe they are,_ I thought. This new world of mine included demons, why not ghosts?

I hadn't known any of the girls, but somehow, standing there among their garments, I felt a kinship with them, a kind of motherly affection and protectiveness. They had been so young, killed before they’d had a chance to really live.

As I met my own eyes in the mirror, feeling the weight of all the young women who died, I was overcome with emotion. And all at once, that emotion became a force of conviction that hit me hard.

“I _will_ be the last one,” I whispered to the nameless brides.

My jaw clenched tightly together, something solidifying in my chest. It dawned on me that if my suspicions about Karlheinz's plans were correct, then Akio's life wouldn't be the only life I'd be saving. If it was just me -- an immortal bride with the only blood the brothers could drink -- then no other girls would have to go through this kind of hell ever again.

And I knew exactly what I was suddenly promising. 

 _I_ _'m theirs. I_ _belong to the vampires. They own me. . . I_ _am their prey._

_And because of that, no one else will have to die._

The revelation startled me, and for a long moment, I couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't breathe. 

I didn't want to belong to them, not to anyone. All this time, I'd been fighting that, fighting to acknowledge this new reality, fighting to believe the terrible truth that I no longer belonged to myself, but to a horde of demons. 

My eyes glossed over with unshed tears. After everything I'd been through since the previous night, after feeling completely beaten down and powerless, I was taken aback that I would just all at once _accept_  such a fate like this, and with such certainty.

But it was _because_ of what I went through that I accepted it -- because I had survived. In that moment, it struck me that I could survive when no one else had. 

A second impatient knock on the bedroom door jolted me back to the present.

Somehow collecting my bearings, I emerged from the closet with a calm, almost serene, decisiveness. On some level, I think I had known that my survival hinged on more than keeping Akio safe, that my purpose here was much bigger than that. And something about that realization added to my resolve.

Brushing a few wayward strands of hair from my face, I shut the closet door and turned to answer the knock. But I stopped short, the breath leaving my lungs.

Ayato had already let himself in my room, and both of us froze for a moment as our eyes collided.

My lips parted as I took him in. He was breathtaking. Stunning. His usual careless appearance -- with his rumpled shirt unbuttoned down his chest, tie knotted like a noose around his neck, wrinkled pants hiked up on one leg -- was replaced by a neatly pressed, slim-fitted tuxedo. The white collar was pulled high around his neck, highlighting the red of his hair. And though his hair was combed more than usual, it was still hopelessly disheveled. Beautifully disheveled.

Something inexplicable began pulling at the corners of my mouth, something unfamiliar making my lips curve upwards.

What. . . the. . . hell? I couldn't possibly be glad to see Ayato, could I?

Nausea rolled in my stomach, and I wrenched the disturbing smile off my face before it rose too far. How could I honor the girls he murdered if I were happy to see him?

But I couldn't seem to control the feeling that rippled down my spine as Ayato walked toward me, his movements graceful and hypnotic. I wanted to both run to him and away from him at the same time.

He stopped in front of me, still looming over me even though I wore heels. His presence invaded my senses, making my pulse race. I suddenly felt hyper-aware of my body, his nearness making the soft chiffon dress brush against my bare thighs, reminding me of the way he'd wrapped my legs around him that morning. . . and the way he'd held me afterward. . . like he needed me.

Briefly closing my eyes, I shook the disconcerting thoughts from my mind. I couldn't focus on what happened between us, on whatever it was that I was feeling. Not now. This night was too important for me to be waging war with myself and losing my grip on sanity.

Gathering my wits, I bravely tilted my head back and met Ayato’s gaze. 

“Well,” Ayato said, “what are you waiting for? Let's go.” He had regained his composure much faster than I, though even in my own momentary stupor, I'd seen his shock, his eyes glowing as he hungrily followed the length of my body, lingering on the low cut bodice dipping between my breasts, and then on my leg peeking through the slit. Now, grabbing me by the waist, he grinned widely, “Don't you even think about leaving my side tonight. I want everyone to see you with Ore-sama _._ ”

Taking a deep breath, I somehow felt more sure of myself than ever, now that I had fully embraced my choice to stay. Lifting my arm, I threaded it with his and said, “I'm all yours.”

Ayato’s eyes narrowed a fraction of an inch, as if he was unsure or suspicious of my demeanor. But then he appeared to shrug it off, leaning close to my face, his voice low and smooth as he replied, "Good."

But I couldn't tell if he understood the true meaning behind my words. 

As Ayato led me downstairs, I felt as if a fog was lifting, giving me an odd sense of power in my powerlessness. I had accepted my place, not because they forced me to accept it, but because I _chose_ to. I kept my chin up, breathing the feeling in, letting it flow through my veins, letting it ground me.

Earlier, I had been looking for Sayuri the Strong, desperate not to succumb to weakness, desperate to get myself back. But I hadn't even realized whom I’d found in the process.

Sayuri the Survivor.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize that this story moves at a snail's pace lol. I can't believe I took like 10+ chapters to write what happens in the span of 24 hours. You guys did say you wanted the long version right? I really hope you aren't regretting that now T__T ... though, I am possibly thinking of making this story into a series. I have so many ideas, it might be difficult to cram them into one long ass story, especially with the slow way I seem to write. 
> 
> And I'd really like to thank my beta who is helping me sort through and focus all my ideas. This person has worked so hard and has really gone above and beyond for me. If I get their permission to release their name, I'll give them credit because credit is definitely due <3<3<3<3
> 
> ***  
> 


	40. Between the Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri has regained her confidence, but fears what may happen when the brothers' jealousy collides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I want to dedicate today's chapter to Ignus76. Today is her birthday ヾ(＠⌒▽⌒＠)ﾉ . She has been reading my story since I first started posting and has been a dedicated fan that always leaves wonderful comments. Thank you for all your support dear Ignus76. I hope you have a fantastic birthday ❤❤❤. 
> 
> Also, my beta reader gave me permission to share their identity:  [Yurama](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Yurama/profile)  
> This person is amazing at helping to keep me focused and asking all the right questions since my ideas are like ADD. They are just an overall perfect, fantastic beta. (However, this chapter doesn't have their stamp of approval yet because I have been too impatient to share with you guys, especially now since it's my reader's birthday. I sure as hell hope Yurama doesn't find anything wrong with the chapter lmao).
> 
> As for news on my wrist, it is not healing well at all. In fact, I think it may be worse. The doc has given me permission to write, but I have to take it slow. So updates are likely to be about once a month or so, sadly. 
> 
> Anyways, that's enough talking for now. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter :-)

* * *

 

 

Instead of being pulled into the spiders’ web thrashing and fighting, I was willingly walking into it, offering myself up as a sacrifice. I’d known that was my fate all along, but deep down I hadn't wanted to believe it. My defiance, my will to fight, hadn't been solely against the vampires, but also at myself, at my own unwillingness to surrender to my new reality.

I cast a side glance at Ayato as we descended the stairs, my arm still hooked with his. I felt emboldened, empowered that I accepted my place myself, that the vampires hadn't forced me to admit it the way Ayato had forced me to say, _“I'm yours.”_

Suddenly another realization made my pulse jump in my veins.

If I hadn't chosen it on my own, if the vampires had been the ones to force me to accept their ownership of me. . . it would have meant they'd broken me.

_And Laito came so close. . ._

I shivered inwardly, a surge of absolute cold going through me. But then I took a deep breath, lifting my head. That was in the past; I would not be that fragile piece of broken china, quivering in her own skin.

 _I may be prey, but I won't be a victim_.

Holding onto Ayato, willingly walking with him in the full acknowledgement that he and his brothers had total control over me, I was surprised to find that a strange feeling was filtering down over me. I noticed that my jaw wasn't clenched, nor were my knuckles white; my muscles weren't tensed, prepared for fight or flight.

Instead something else rustled through me, something that felt almost like. . .

Relief?

I blinked long and slow. 

 _It's easier_ , I realized, _going with the flow, rather than fighting against the current._ Because either way, the vampires were going to drag me downstream into the rapids.

But it didn't feel like giving up. No -- this was different. It wasn't like the shower where Laito had nearly coaxed the total surrender from my shattered psyche. Now, my mind felt more clear than ever, lured out of the catatonic fog, my strength now focused on keeping my head above water. On surviving.

Even so, as Ayato led me down a hallway and around a corner, my confidence briefly wavered, a sense of foreboding sliding down my spine. Memories of the dungeon assaulted me, flashes of Subaru almost killing Laito mingling with the pure fury that had twisted Ayato's features when he took me from Subaru.

_And Laito's jealousy. . . even Reiji losing control. . ._

I bit down hard on the inside of my lip. Would the spiders kill each other to be the one to consume me?

We turned into a tall archway and all the swirling thoughts in my mind died, strangled by the breath hitching in my throat. The sitting room was massive. As with many rooms in the mansion, a grand stone fireplace roared with flames on the far wall, between elegant windows that followed the length of the cathedral ceilings. But it wasn't the room that halted my heart in my chest. It wasn't even the two other pairs of predatory eyes on me, eyes that _should_ have paralyzed me in fear -- Reiji and Laito’s.

No, it was the body laying on the couch in front of the fireplace that wrenched my insides.

“Subaru!” His name left my lungs on a gasp. Before Ayato could stop me, I pulled my arm from his and rushed across the room, my feet barely touching the floor.

Subaru lay on his back, unconscious, his hands resting on his bare chest. He was dressed in the same pants he'd had in the cell, his pale skin marred with dirt and grime. But it was his head that shocked me, the sight widening my eyes in horror. It was bent at an odd angle, a _wrong_ angle.

_Oh god, is he dead?!_

My gown pooled around me as I knelt, taking Subaru's face in my hands, careful not to move him. His eyes were closed, his lips parted. But, miraculously, his chest was faintly rising and falling as he breathed.

He was alive.

My shoulders expanded as I inhaled a trembling breath. It took everything inside me not to close my eyes and gather him into my arms. I didn't understand why my ribs felt like they were tearing my chest apart, why the thought of him being dead. . .

“Oy! What the--” Ayato started.

But I interrupted him, not even registering that he'd spoken. “What happened?! What did you do to Subaru?!”

My head whipped up, looking between Reiji and Laito, anger and fear and bewilderment burning through my ability to think clearly.

Both vampires were perched on oversized armchairs on either side of the couch. Reiji had his legs crossed, his gloved index finger resting against his temple, a hard glare narrowed on me.

I tore my gaze from him before fear could get the better of me. Images of him intending to throw me back in the dungeon and whip me flared in my mind. And that fiery red stare told me more than I wanted to know: He still very much wanted to hurt me, and probably moreso now that I wasn't wearing his dress.

I quickly switched my gaze to Laito, who was getting to his feet. A sly smile lifted the side of his face, his hand gliding along the back of the couch as he approached from behind it. “Bitch-chan, are you _concerned_ for poor Subaru-kun?”

I didn't miss the warning beneath his tone, recalling the threat he'd made in the bathroom: _“I never want to see you look at my brothers the way you did with Subaru-kun.”_

But for the moment I didn't care; I _was_ too concerned about Subaru to fall into Laito's stupid games.

“What. Happened.” I repeated through my teeth.

Ayato growled from behind me. “Hah? What are you worried about _him_ for?” 

I tensed, preparing for Ayato to grab me and pull me away. But when I turned my head to give him an angry, impatient look, I saw Reiji was already doing just that. To my relief, Ayato did nothing more than cross his arms and scowl.

But then, for a second my chest tightened, a sense of guilt wafting around the edges of my mind, guilt that Ayato might think I was rejecting him for his brother.

But Laito jolted my attention back to him as he stopped and leaned against the back of the couch. He propped his chin up with his fingertips, showing off his fangs as he grinned. “Well, what _happened_ , Bitch-chan, is that it seems Subaru-kun is impervious to _reason_ with this new _power_ of his -- _and_ to Reiji’s calming potions. Though,” he giggled, “Subaru-kun was immune to reason _before_ so I guess that is nothing new.”

“Hah? New power? What the hell is that?” Ayato took the words right out of my mouth.

Reiji gave Ayato a pointed stare, lifting a dark eyebrow over his glasses. “We will discuss that when everyone has gathered. I certainly want your opinion on the matter.”

My brow furrowed, but before I could wonder more about Reiji’s cryptic words, a soft voice spoke from the archway.

“I'm here now, Reiji-san.”

I looked over my shoulder to see Kanato, dressed in a slim-fitted tuxedo like the others, hugging his teddy against his chest.

“Kanato!” I exclaimed, unable to control the way my heart lept at seeing him released from that horrifying _punishment_.

I almost stood and rushed to him, but the expression that formed across his features when he saw me stopped me cold. His eyes were heavy slits that froze my skin.

I swallowed hard, recalling that Kanato had. . .  _heard. . ._ everything in the dungeon too.

 _Just like Laito. . .  he's jealous,_ I realized with a pang in my chest.

Kanato took a seat on the other couch and broke his gaze from mine, looking angrily down at his feet.

“Now we are just missing the Good-for-Nothing,” Reiji said, bitterness laced in his tone. “We can begin without him _._ ”

“Wait!” I snapped across him, Kanato’s jealousy suddenly forgotten. “What about Subaru? His neck is broken!”

I should have realized my mistake. Reiji's jaw tightened and he leaned forward, his glare as cutting as his whip.

To my surprise, Laito rescued me from any retribution for talking out of turn. “Bitch-chan, we are vampires. We _heal._ ” Laito leaned down and patted Subaru on the head condescendingly. “You know _that_.”

Of course I was very much aware of their healing abilities. In fact, Subaru’s neck had already moved, ever so slightly, toward a more appropriate angle as his bones apparently mended. “But if he's healing. . . ”

_Wouldn't he be awake by now?_

Confusion creased my forehead. I glanced again over Subaru's body, the same as it had been when I last saw him.

Then the realization crawled down my arms.

I glared up at Laito, my expression filled with venom that leaked into my voice. “You’ve been keeping his neck broken since this morning?”

Laito smiled deviously, as if he was proud that I figured it out. “Bitch-chan, you saw his temper in the dungeon, _remember_?”

Yeah, I _remembered_.

That didn't mean they had to keep his neck fucking _broken_.

Bristling anger crept up my back, snapping my teeth together in fury. Without even thinking, I flung my wrist to Subaru's parted lips. It didn't take much pressure at all to cut through my skin. His fangs were sharp as daggers.

“What are you--?!” Reiji was immediately at my side, pushing Ayato back and locking a hand around my arm, jerking me to my feet.

He was too late. Blood was already dripping down my wrist into my palm -- and smeared across Subaru's mouth.

We all watched with bated breath as Subaru's neck instantly snapped into place with a nauseating _click,_  followed by his scarlet eyes fluttering open.

Subaru's clouded gaze met mine. “What. . .the. . .fuck. . ., he whispered, bewildered. But then he blinked and saw Reiji's hold on me. “What the FUCK!”

At the same moment that Subaru sat up and swung his legs off the couch, Reiji let me yank out of his grasp.

In a split second I was kneeling in front of the silver-haired vampire, not even recognizing that I was between his legs. All my concentration was honed on calming him, making sure he was okay.

I placed a hand on his chest, the other reaching for his face. “Subaru, are you alright?”

He snatched my wrist midair, and my eyes widened. The intensity in his red gaze burned into me, reminding me that this was the violent vampire who'd hurt me on multiple occasions, purposefully, because he'd wanted me to hate him.

But he was also the one that stopped Laito from raping me.

 _And then raped you himself,_ my own mind shot back.

No! I suddenly wanted to claw at my hair, physically rip that sickening thought from my skull. Subaru had saved me. I hadn't wanted him to let me go; I had wanted him to protect me from Laito.

. . . _hadn't I?_

Emotion coiled hard around my chest. _Stop it, Sayuri!_

If I wanted to maintain this fragile hold on sanity, I had to keep a hold of _myself_. Warring within my own mind was what had driven me to fall apart, probably moreso than the vampires themselves. I _had_ to focus on the moment, the here and now. And not get lost in my conscience.

Trying to swallow my nerves and the tears threatening in the back of my throat, I repeated, “Subaru? Talk to me. Are you alright?”

Instead of answering, he rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck, the key pendant hanging on his chest glinting gold in the light. For a moment he looked around the room, glancing at everyone as if he wanted to tear them apart. But then his eyes landed back on me. And I couldn't help it -- I was struck by how beautiful he was, even in his anger.

Suddenly Subaru let out a low growl and pulled my wrist to his mouth with so much force that I gasped, grabbing onto his thigh to keep from falling into him.

With his eyes locked on mine, Subaru drank deeply, the sound magnified in the electrified silence that had fallen over the room. But the back of my neck relaxed, a strange tingling running across my skin at the feel of Subaru's mouth on me. I found myself hoping that drinking my blood would calm him the way it was calming me.

Laito was still leaning behind the couch, watching with amused interest, but I thought I detected a brief hint of worry flashing behind his eyes. And I could feel Reiji standing beside me, observing cautiously. The tension became so palpable I could almost reach out and grab it.

I wondered what had them so on edge, why they had kept Subaru unconscious all this time. What had happened to him?

Deep muttering curses came from behind me, and suddenly I understood.

“The fuck, man. That's enough.”

I turned to see Ayato coming around the other side of me, fury and jealousy raging in his eyes.

“Ayato!” Reiji called out sternly.

But, like setting a match to a fuse, Subaru was already on his feet, shoving me aside, out of Ayato’s reach. I fell back against the coffee table, my eyes white with fear as Subaru grabbed Ayato by the throat.

“You BASTARD! What the FUCK did you do to her?! Hah?!” Subaru snarled, baring his teeth in Ayato's face. His voice boomed, seeming to come from everywhere at once. “I'll fucking DESTROY you!”

Ayato didn't back down. His lips peeled back, revealing the full length of his fangs.

And in the span of a heartbeat, the violence broke out. 

Panic spiraled through my veins. They went at each other in a tangle of fangs and limbs, moving so fast I couldn't follow who was hitting whom. Tables and chairs split into pieces, the walls cracking, mixing with the sickening splatter of blood and grunts of pain and vicious growls that couldn't even remotely resemble anything human.

Shock immobilized me to the floor, horror spreading over my face. It was exactly as I'd feared.

For a moment, Ayato got the upper hand, tackling Subaru to the ground. Both of his fists slammed blow after blow into his brother's head. The other vampires were just standing there, watching the scene unfold, as if they didn't want to get involved. Only Reiji was yelling for them to stop.

_Why aren't they doing anything?!_

The sight of Ayato crushing Subaru's face sprung my senses back to life. I couldn't bear to watch any more. I bolted to my feet, a desperate instinct to stop them taking over me. My heart drummed painfully against my sternum as I flew across the room, throwing my arms around Ayato from behind. “No! Ayato, don't!”

I had less than half a second to register Ayato inadvertantly slinging me off his back before the world spun and a sharp _crack_ split across my cheek. The rest of my body followed, colliding against the marble floor with a thud so strong it felt as if all my bones broke at once.

My vision went white, then black, the darkness folding over everything. The taste of blood was on my tongue as my ears rang, a deafening bell behind my eyes that pounded to the beat of my heart. Subaru's bite to my wrist had made me a little fuzzy, but it wasn't enough to numb this brutal, lightning pain that seared in waves through my skull.

I became distantly aware of a steady string of obscenities being hurled in argument as someone turned me onto my back and lifted my torso up.

“If you hadn't fucking attacked me this wouldn't have happened!”

“Both of you, stop it this instant!”

“Hah?! This is MY fault?! Why the FUCK didn't you watch what YOU were doing?!”

I inhaled deeply, trying to halt the spinning, the ringing drowning out their voices. “Stop, just stop it. . .” I managed, my own voice jarring in my head.

My hand reached out blindly, finding the shirtless arm the held me up. Flinching, my eyelids quivered, struggling to open as even that tiny movement hurt too much. But somehow I blinked, and a blood-stained face swam into view.

“Why do you always fucking get in the way like that?” Subaru growled, breathing hard and reminding me of the time I'd jumped between him and that kid at school. 

“Because she's obviously not intelligent enough to learn her lesson the first time,” Reiji's voice bit out harshly. Straining, I looked up to find him standing behind Subaru, dark hair hanging over his glasses as he looked down at me with disdain.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Ayato's voice panted from close beside me. Trying to breathe, my eyes painfully moved to his, the reptilian yellow-green irises flashing. He was bloody too, his white dress shirt splotched and torn.

 _I'm glad I stopped it when I did. . ._ Something flickered beneath my ribcage, some part of me feeling oddly warm that they were both leaning over me; I almost wanted to believe they were concerned for me. 

“Ah~. I do have to say, that was the first time I've ever seen a _human_ jump into a vampire fight.” Laito smiled his cruelly perfect smile, standing by Kanato, who was hugging his teddy tight, tears rolling down his face. “Quite _brave_ , aren't you, Bitch-chan~? Even _I_ didn't want to stop them, with this _new_ power of theirs and all.”

Grimacing in pain, I heard Ayato ask the question I was thinking. “What?! You better tell me what the fuck you're talking about, right now.”

“That is precisely what we are here to discuss,” Reiji answered. “Help her into the dining hall. This room is now useless.” He gave both Ayato and Subaru an icy glare.

Subaru began to move, but I groaned, my bruised ribs protesting as I reeled in a sharp gasp of air. Every movement felt as though I literally did break every bone. Dizzy, I cupped my cheek where it had hit the floor. Hissing at the pain, I swallowed heavily -- and then handed my wrist to Subaru before he could try to lift me. “Wait,” I whispered. “Here.”

He blinked at me as if I'd sprouted two heads.

But it was Ayato's lips that curled angrily. “Ah, I see how it is -- heal him first, hah?! That just proves it! You do want _him_! Did you forget you belong to me?!”

Subaru gave Ayato a shove. “She doesn't belong to you!”

If I could have rolled my eyes without bursting pain through my skull, I might have done so. For being over a hundred years old, I was taken aback by how childlike and immature they could be. But then that twinge of guilt reformed in my throat; Ayato _did_ think I was rejecting him.

Holding my arms up between them, I tried to push out words through the throbbing across my head. “No, Ayato. . . that's not how it is. . . Look at what you did to his face. . . Besides. . .” I looked at Subaru, holding my wrist closer, imploring him to take it, “it’ll numb the pain for me.” Wincing at Ayato, I touched my hand to his forearm and added softly, “You at least owe me that.”

Ayato looked briefly as if he wanted to tear my head off. I wondered if hitting the floor had knocked the common sense out of me. I had already acknowledged his power over me, and that included the fact that he very well _could_ tear my head off. My life was in his, and the others’, hands. They didn't owe me anything.

To my surprise, Ayato actually seemed to consider my words. Though he let out a sound like a cross between a growl and a sigh, his clenched teeth loosened as he seemed to relent. I was almost tempted to read something resembling remorse shadowing his gaze. But I knew better than that.

With a warning glare at his brother, Subaru grasped my wrist, his eyes glinting like crimson steel as he sank his fangs in once again.

Ayato's lips thinned to a dangerous line, and I held my breath. Was I utterly stupid? This was exactly what had started the fight in the first place.

But then a smug grin stretched across Ayato's face, that cocky light returning to his eyes. His arm brushed mine as he leaned in close, his breath waving against my injured cheek.

“I'll take care of this then,” was all he said before his tongue flicked out and traced the cut that had cracked along my cheekbone. My bottom lip fell open, heat climbing up my neck as Ayato then moved down to my throat. His soft groan rippled up and down my spine, combining with Subaru's as they both buried their fangs deep into my veins.

_Oh god. . ._

My body shuddered as if it had been slammed to the floor all over again -- this time by both of them. My flesh lit up as though it were on fire, my breath rushing out at the force of it. Arousal bloomed low in my core, the memory of their _claiming_ me igniting across my skin. A hunger for that pleasure overwhelmed me, a raw instinct burning inside me that I couldn't control, primal and potent.

Self-loathing rapidly surged in my chest, tears gathering in my eyes. _What is wrong with me?!_ _How can I be having this reaction to them after what they did to me!_

A repulsive, moaning giggle sounded through the silence, one that could only belong to Laito. “Ah~! Sooo arousing! Don't have all the _fun_ without _me_!”

“That’s enough,” Reiji barked, disgust evident in his tone.

I was shaking all over as Subaru and Ayato pulled back, sickened that I didn't want them to stop. Shutting my eyes tight, I bit back the nausea threatening to consume me. The euphoria was pouring through my veins now, enough to mask the pounding in my head and body. I ruthlessly wished it would flood over my thoughts and emotions as well.

As Ayato and Subaru helped me to my feet, the room was a haze around me, my nerves frayed into pieces.

"Get your hands off her," Subaru growled as Ayato's arm threaded in with mine.

"You're the one who shouldn't touch other people's things," Ayato snapped back.

“Stop it! This is crazy!” Brushing back the hair that had fallen in front of my face, I glared up at Subaru and Ayato. “You can't fight like this! It doesn't make any sense! None of this makes any sense! Don't you understand you can't feel this way? You're family!  _Brothers_. Do you really want to kill each other over someone you barely know, something as insignificant as your food, your _prey_?"

My words came out in a breathless gasp, and I couldn't tell if I was angry at myself, or them. But I clamped my jaw shut as the shock of my words hit me.

What was wrong with me? Did I just call myself insignificant? _I may be prey but that doesn't mean I'm nothing. . ._

But confusion was utterly thickening in my mind, clouding out my newfound clarity -- and terrifying me to the depths of my soul. I didn't understand what was happening, why they were so viciously possessive over me, why I was so scared they'd kill each other, why my traitorous body had the response that it did.

_I should hate them, give them the labels they deserve: monsters, demons, murderers._

I shouldn't feel this strange connection, this feeling there was some part of them that was vulnerable, even maybe almost. . . human. A part of them I desperately wanted to protect.

I swallowed back bitter, acid tears, violently disturbed by what I was feeling. 

 _It's just my blood -- it has to be._ My mind reached out to me, throwing me a rational explanation to keep me sane. _Yes, that has to be it. Just something in my blood messing with all of us._

Biting my lip, I suddenly realized that the room had become a silent crater of eyes all fixed on me.

My body and mind went cold, vibrating with the vital awareness that I was surrounded by predators -- killers that I now accepted had full control over me. And I'd just scolded two of them like they were children.

_Oh Christ. . ._

But my terror was only met with Laito's echoing laughter, followed by Reiji's commanding voice that was full of impatience. “This has gone on long enough. In the dining hall -- now. We cannot waste anymore time." His tone dared anyone to disobey.

Ayato and Subaru narrowed vengeful eyes at each other, but I sensed that my outburst perhaps had some small effect. They weren't baring their fangs, and something behind their eyes told me they were just as confused as me about all this. Severing eye contact with each other, I breathed a sigh of relief as they stepped wordlessly on either side of me. Protectively.

Their guarding stance made something shiver through my veins, something not entirely unpleasant. These two vampires had hurt me, violated me, frightened me beyond all reason. And as I walked between them, their height dwarfing my small frame, their powerful presence enclosed around me, I could feel with every ounce of my being how utterly small and breakable I was in their hands. Yet. . .

I couldn't explain the contrast that I also somehow felt _safe_ and _protected_ next to them. As if I were more than just ‘insignificant’ prey, as if I really did belong to them. And not just as a woman they owned.

It was that same feeling I'd had earlier, after I'd woken up in the mausoleum, that feeling of. . . bonding.

The emotion pressed down on me, unnerving me to the core.

 _It's just my blood._  I clutched onto that logic with everything I had. _It's not real._

My stomach was squeezed in, knotted tight, as we entered the dining hall. I lifted my dress as I sat in a chair, my fingers twisting in the fabric. The soft chiffon fell heavy against me, as though the previous brides were trying to remind me that the vampires weren't my protectors, that they weren't creatures I should care for or feel safe with. They were monsters who had murdered countless young girls.

Taking a deep breath, I blew it out slowly.  _Keep your head above water,_ I whispered to myself, determined to rein in these feelings that wreaked havoc with my thoughts. I had a grip on my sanity -- for now. And I wasn't about to let my own mind steal it away from me. 

Since Shuu was still absent, Reiji, as second eldest, took a seat at the head of the table. I continued inhaling and exhaling, forcing my focus to stay in the present. I was finally going to get some answers. And a fearful hope began buzzing through me, the hope that learning more about my circumstances would give me an even stronger hold on my own strength.

Reiji adjusted his glasses and sat forward, clasping his hands in front of him. Regarding each of us, his sharp expression was even more pronounced than usual. That sharpness was reflected in his eyes as his gaze lingered on me. The fine hairs on my skin stood straight, and I wanted to pull Subaru and Ayato in closer on either side of me. Maybe I shouldn't have considered them my protectors, but as Reiji’s stare bore down on me. . . something within me intuitively knew that they wouldn't allow him to hurt me.

Perhaps Reiji thought the same. He pulled his eyes away and cleared his throat, his voice smooth and controlled as he appeared to bury his anger, at least for the time being.

“There is much we have to discuss, and we are already late. Let's get started.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I did writing it :-).
> 
> Also, I wanted to say, some of you may have noticed that I recently dedicated my story to [Whorcrux's In the Shadows ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5507105/chapters/12719798). That’s because that story is the whole reason mine exists. When I was new to the fandom and searching for DL fanfics, I was looking for something dark, twisted, and psychological that captured how fucked up and abusive the brothers are, but all I could find were fluffy romances and/or one-shots. Then I found ITS, and I devoured the whole thing in one night. ITS encompasses the gritty, complex nature of the brothers and has an OC that is flawed and in-depth and human. I even love the portrayal of Yui. I just loved it all around, and needed more. But there was nothing else that satisfied me, much to my angst. 
> 
> So, I decided to write my own. During this time, I had contacted Whorcrux to tell her how much I loved her story and that it had inspired me to write my own, but that I was waaaayyy too self-conscious to share it. But she strongly encouraged me to post it, and with much anxiety, I did. 
> 
> That was over a year ago. I’ve since watched my hits and comments and kudos grow to levels I never could have dreamed. And that is why I am telling everyone now that ITS inspired my story. I was far too embarrassed to do that at first, because I never believed my work was ever close to anything worth reading. I didn’t want to ruin her good name with the amateur crap I was writing, and end up embarrassing us both. But, my confidence is growing the more I see my numbers grow (I’m still giddy like a kid on xmas when I get comments and kudos :P). 
> 
> So when I asked Whorcrux if I could tell everyone ITS inspired me, I was happy that she said yes. So if any of my readers have never heard of ITS or haven’t read it yet, please go give her story the support it deserves. Both of us enjoy writing the darkness of the human (or vampire) psyche, the complexity of the mind, and the irrational ways that we behave and struggle with morality. I will warn you though, her story is far darker and more smutty than mine xD. But if you like the dark stuff, you'll love ITS.


	41. Kanato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Kanato's perspective. Enjoy! (*^_^*)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be deviating quite a bit from canon from here on out. Most of the stuff in this chapter are my own ideas. I know nothing about spells or magic, I'm just pulling ideas out of thin air. Hopefully it'll all make sense in the end :D

* * *

 

 

Teddy and I watched as a familiar fetched Subaru first a shirt, and then a rag to clean his bloody face. My eyes flitted between him and Ayato and. . . _her_ , sitting between them both. I didn't miss the way her pupils dilated as Subaru slipped the shirt over his head. She quickly looked away, but even Teddy smelled the arousal that flared through her.

My chest went tight, my stomach hurting.

That stupid prey then said something ridiculous about food helping to heal her bruised body. A servant carried out a plate for her, and I followed the movement of her fingers as she brought crackers to her mouth. I wanted to tear those lips off, the same lips that had made _sounds_ with Subaru.

I felt a blackness rising inside me. I glowered at her, seething with a desire to kill anyone who had touched her, anyone that wasn't me. She was mine. MINE.

I had sang for her. And she had come to _me_. She brought Teddy for _me_. She gave her blood to _me_. She stopped the burning gashes for _me_.

And. . . she had stayed with me.

That had interested me more than anything, making a strange feeling snake around my insides.

 _And even before that_ , Teddy reminded me, _she was thinking about you. I had stared her down, telling her how much you needed me._

_Yes, Teddy. And like a good prey, she listened. And you said that meant she was for me, and me ONLY. But you were WRONG! How could you be so WRONG, TEDDY?!_

My nails scraped into Teddy’s fur as I clutched him to my middle, my fingers digging with a harsh fury. I wanted to peel him apart, pull out all his stuffing for lying to me!

But Teddy pushed back, his voice grating in my head. _Kanato, it's time to settle down. Reiji is speaking now._ _Please_ _listen._

_I know he's speaking, Teddy! I hear him! Don't tell me to settle down!_

But there was something in Teddy's voice that made me swallow back the dark fury and open my ears.

“--and since she has survived the full moon, it is evident now that she will be with us for some time and we need to plan accordingly,” Reiji was saying.

I maintained my lock on Kimiko’s face, surveying the way a frown etched across her forehead.

“Survived the full moon?” she asked.

My jaw stiffened. _She's so stupid, Teddy._ I pulled my only friend closer to my chest. _How stupid do humans have to be that she didn't even notice it was the full moon? That she didn't notice how it affects us?_

“No bride has ever lived through a full moon in this house. You're the first.” Reiji leaned back in his chair, not taking his eyes off her. 

No matter how dumb she was, I couldn't take my eyes off her either. I examined the way her hair fell in front of her face as she blinked down into her lap. So pretty and soft. It was a brighter shade than when she had first come to us. More red. And her eyes were a deeper blue against her skin, which had turned more pale. As I marveled at the strands falling against the smooth, whiteness of her skin, I heard her hands twisting in the fabric of her gown. My nostrils twitched. I almost thought I smelled something, something welling in her eyes, something that instantly made me want to strip that lovely hair from her head.

 _Sadness, isn't it, Teddy?_ My lip curled. _She's feeling sorry for the ones that came before her. . . The other brides_.

My lip curled even more, tightening with the desire to laugh and laugh at her. Those brides had been so foolish, even more dim-witted than her. They didn't have any worth as humans. Even their blood had no worth compared to hers.

 _At least now they can be more beautiful in death than they were in life_.

But none of them were as beautiful as her. She would have been the loveliest doll, and even more pretty in death, because then she would have been broken.

_Beautiful things need to be broken, right, Teddy?_

_But if she was broken, she wouldn't have cried for you._

I finally severed my gaze from her, Teddy’s words making me peer at his face reflecting back to me in the shiny wood surface of the table.

 _That's not true, Teddy. The others cried for me too,_ I gritted back at him.

_But only when they were broken, remember? She isn't broken._

My stomach churned, and I shifted uncomfortably, resisting the urge to tell Teddy to SHUT UP. It sounded almost as if he was telling me that I shouldn't break her, that her tears for me had actually been real.

A change of mood twisted into me, making my head ache. I dragged a hand through my hair, pushing Teddy's voice out of my mind and trying my best to concentrate on Reiji.

“Now, we know our Father has a plan for you,” he was saying to her, “some hidden intent as our bride.”

It felt as if the temperature in the room dropped twenty degrees at the mention of Father. Even she sensed it, rubbing her bare arms as goosebumps rippled down her flesh. Her porcelain skin raised, and my hands longed to reach out and touch it, to feel the silkiness of it under my fingertips. So fragile. Like a delicate doll that could shatter at the lightest touch. A _living_ doll. MY living doll. And my fangs would cut into her, bite into her soft flesh, break her bones.

I was so absorbed by her features, the warmth that I felt coming from her body, that I nearly forgot the others started talking.

“It’s just her blood, isn't it?” I heard Subaru ask. “I mean, shit, it's the most powerful we've ever had.”

Yes, it was. And the most sweet, exquisite. More sweet than all the sugar I ate to fill the empty hollow in my life.

“No, it's more than that.” She spoke out abruptly, her voice confident, like she considered herself almost equal to us.

I wanted to laugh again. She had called herself prey, but even she didn't really believe that. She still thought she had more value than that.

“Well. . .,” she continued when everyone stared at her as if she knew something they didn't. “It's obvious this ridiculous jealousy and fighting over me isn't normal. Otherwise, you all would have already killed each other over the previous. . . _brides_. Plus, you said something about a new power. And. . .” she hesitated for a moment.

My eyes narrowed at her, my eyebrows drawing down. For a stupid human, she could sometimes be somewhat clever. _Though, we heard what Laito said in the dungeon, didn't we, Teddy?_ Something I had already suspected myself after I stabbed her with the silver.

She wasn't fully human.

I had smelled the pain when it stabbed into her skin, smelled the scent of her blood being seared by it.

 _That must be why she isn't always as dumb as the others_.

And maybe because she was older.

. . . And a mother.

Teddy noticed the way my insides recoiled at that thought. I wanted her to be my doll, but a doll couldn't be a mother too.

_I want her to be both, Teddy._

But only mine. She had to forget that other one. That _child_.

“And. . .,” I remotely heard her repeat, her teeth sinking into her lower lip, interrupting my thoughts as I watched, remembering how those lips had felt against my own. Tender. Pliant. Sweet, like her blood.

But then something I hadn't expected came from that lovely mouth. “My blood is the only blood you can drink now, isn't it?”

A silence hummed over the entire room for a long moment. I blinked, my head tilting slightly, as Reiji briefly met Ayato's eyes before he fixed his gaze back on Kimiko.

 _Is this true, Teddy? I haven't tried any other prey since I had her. . . of course there’s good reason for that,_ I thought acidly of my imprisonment.

“You are correct,” Reiji faced Kimiko. “All of this is unprecedented.” He adjusted his glasses, and I thought he resembled Father just then, the same controlled and even movements. “We believe there is perhaps some sort of spell affecting your blood, and it is thereby affecting us. Most likely orchestrated by our Father.”

“A spell?” Surprise played across her face, like she had never heard of such a thing.

Teddy suppressed a laugh at how fast she went from dumb to smart and back again. I struggled to contain my own laughter.

She whispered something in a voice more to herself than to the rest of us. “In the dungeon, Karlheinz said something about a spell that had hidden me from him. . . that he had killed a witch two years ago. . .”

If not for our acute hearing we might not have even heard her words. But then she bravely lifted her head, staring Reiji straight in the eyes, her voice louder. “I don’t understand. Why would he want you all to fight each other like this, over _me_?”

It was funny to see such a small prey try to be brave against us. But this time I didn’t want to laugh. The emotion in her features suddenly boiled my blood. That expression. It was a look I'd only seen in humans. The pointless _compassion_. And it drifted across her face sometimes when she looked at _us_. I could even hear it in her voice right now, like she _cared_ , like she didn't want us to fight each other.

She made me want to scream. My knuckles started to turn white as I gripped Teddy a little too hard. Couldn't she see that her pathetic human emotions were useless? Didn't she see that caring just made things _hurt?_

“Perhaps it is prudent for you to first understand our father.” Reiji told her. “This deviates from the purpose of the conversation, but it's important that you're informed.” Reiji took his glasses off and rubbed them between a cloth as he spoke. “Father has extensive power and even more extensive knowledge. He has reigned as Vampire King for more than two thousand years.”

There was a jump in her pulse, and I smelled her shock. Teddy snickered. Humankind lived pitiful, finite, miserable little lives. They didn't understand eternity the way we did.

 _But she will,_ Teddy whispered.

My gut clenched, still unused to the idea of an immortal bride, one that hadn't awakened as a vampire. More anger lashed through me.

_It isn't FAIR, Teddy!_

Humans were weak, STUPID. They didn't deserve things like immortality or powers like magic and strength that the witches and hunters possessed. It made them assume they were better than us, that they could defeat us.

Teddy tapped my chest, reminding me to listen as Reiji continued on. My breathing became harsh between my teeth, my vision tunneling as I struggled to listen.

“As Vampire King, our Father has abilities others of our kind do not -- magic we can't even dream of harnessing.” Reiji placed his glasses back on his nose. “But there are still those who would oppose us. For instance, the hunters and the witches from the human realm, and the other demon clans from the demon realm.”

“Other clans?” she asked.

“Vampires are not the only race in our realm. Each race has their own leader, but it is the Demon Lord, Burai, King of the Snake Clan, that rules over everyone. Our Father is King of the Vampires, the Bat Clan. Lord Burai gave our family rule over the human realm as well, but there are always humans that oppose us. And there have always been other vampires or demons who want our power. Though our father’s power reaches far and wide, he is always in search for more, to keep secure our hold as rulers.” Reiji sounded like he wanted to smile. I knew he admired Father's abilities, that he sought his recognition.

Just as Mother had.

I grimaced, remembering how Mother lamented, pining for Father's attention.

_Like I longed for hers._

But she didn't notice me. She only made me sing, serenading as she did _things_ with other men, hoping Father would react.

Something started to unravel inside me. Kimiko made the same sounds Mother did. Right where I could hear them. Just like HER.

More and more rage burned through me. Burned. Just like the memory of Mother burning. I could still smell her flesh turning to ash. She was cold, so cold.

_But I warmed her, didn't I, Teddy?_

Ayato had torn her open, and Laito had pushed her off the balcony. But it was me that set fire inside her heartless chest.

And now the same rage burned inside me.

My glare leveled on Kimiko.  _I_ _could burn HER right now. I could_.

If she wanted to be so much like Mother, then I could singe her body. Watch her disintegrate to nothing. Right now.

But then I shivered. Shuddering. The cold from the dungeon poured over the fire in my veins. I saw Father's eyes. The blood. My blood. He had punished me because I had wanted to make her mine, make her _truly_ immortal.

 _You got off easy,_ Teddy reminded me. _It won't be easy next time._

 _Yes, I know, Teddy._ I had always seen my brothers punished by Father, but never me.

My teeth clamped together, pushing down my anger as I heard Reiji sigh. “Which is why it was stunning that it took so long to find you. We do not know the details, but it must have been a powerful witch indeed that hid you from him.”

The anger pounded through me all over again. Stupid, STUPID witch! How could a _human_ have power like that against _Father_?! I wished I had been there, to see the moment he brought death to her, watched the way he made her suffer. A humorless smile pulled the edges of my lips, imagining that witch screaming and writhing.

“So, originally, you thought I was your bride because my blood is powerful and that would make you stronger against those who target you?” Kimiko rubbed her temples and took a breath, idiotically repeating what Reiji had just told her. “But now you think there's more to it than that because there is some sort of spell that makes you only able to drink my blood, but also causes you all to be jealous? To the point you'd kill each other?” I felt the air displace as Reiji nodded his head, heard his jaw tighten as she continued. “But that sounds. . . _insane_. Why on earth would your own father want you to kill each other?”

This time it was Laito who answered her question. “Why, indeed, Bitch-chan. Perhaps he wants to whittle us down until only one is left. The _strongest_ one, who would then be the heir to the throne.”

I blinked to myself. Contemplating. I knew something was different about her, and that, of course, Father thought she was special.

_But this -- this isn't different, right Teddy? It couldn't be just a spell making me want her all to myself._

That didn't seem correct. I _always_ wanted the brides to myself. I hated sharing with my brothers. Even when the brides chose someone else, I hated it. They were only supposed to choose me, so they could be mine. My dolls. I’d never had anyone except Teddy. Never. Teddy was my replacement, filled my loneliness. Mother was what I wanted, what I needed. But she didn't want me. She never needed me. Teddy _always_ wanted me. He needed me. And he wanted the brides to need me too. But my imbecile brothers would take them. And I hated it when my brothers took MY things from me. My siblings looked down on me, but the brides, I could break them. I could look down on _them_.

 _But you've never wanted one as bad as her, have you?_ Teddy broke into my thoughts. _Wasn't it her that made you forget me? When you lay on the dungeon floor, singing to her, calling out to her? It was her that you were leading, her that you wanted. Not me._

I swallowed a bitter, bitter taste in my mouth. That had never happened before. Teddy always filled my thoughts. And though I had missed him, it was her voice I had heard call out to me. It was her voice I had been hoping to hear.

He was right.

Even though I was furious with her, mad that Father had punished me because of a worthless _human_ , it was still her blood that had consumed my thoughts. But it wasn't just that sweet red substance I had craved. I remembered the meal she cooked for me and the way she agreed to be my mother. I had been testing her, seeing what dumb things she might do, since she _couldn't_ be my mother. But still. . . a pleasant warmth had simmered through me when she talked to me, when she paid attention to me, wanted to be with me, the way _Mother_ never had. And then, I had sang loud enough for her to hear, and unlike Mother. . . she had come for me.

 _But it was just a spell?_ I asked Teddy, feeling myself on the verge of screaming. _No!_ _How could that be true?! It wasn't a spell that made her find me in the dungeon! It wasn't a spell that made her bring you to me, Teddy!_

Unable to hold back, my anger burst out. “WHY?! Why would Father TRICK US with such a disgusting spell?!” I pushed my chair, cold tears slipping down my face.

Reiji's voice came from far away. “Sit down, Kanato. Now.”

"It couldn't, it COULDN’T be a spell!"

“Kanato!” Reiji’s voice came louder, pulling at me, tugging me, warning me, making me wince. He was stronger than me. Always stronger than me. I knew what he could do.

“Jesus, calm down, you hysteric,” Ayato mumbled. 

I snarled at him, my eyes conveying how much I wanted to kill him for that. But even as the anger kept climbing in my veins, I didn't miss the glance that Kimiko shot him too.

I didn't understand why her reaction made me feel almost like my heart pounded.

Gripping Teddy hard against my chest, the air still fired with black rage through my lungs. But it was calming, just a little. My fangs ground together as I reluctantly slid my chair back under me.

“Laito, share what you learned in Germany,” Reiji said as I attempted to settle, swallowing tears of sour frustration, hating being so weak, so easily handled by my brothers.

Laito clicked his tongue in disapproval. “Aww, but Reiji, that would ruin my _bargain_ ~ with Bitch-chan.” He giggled, and I pivoted my head back to Kimiko, sensing the air move as her muscles tensed.

“Laito, now is not the time to test me,” Reiji growled.

“Fine, fine,” Laito whined in return. “Soooo,” he sighed, “what are you, Bitch-chan, if you aren't fully human? Hmm? Did you know that even your ‘mother’ didn't have the answer to _that_ question?”

My gaze flicked inquisitively over Kimiko’s face as her smooth complexion paled once more. She didn't like the mention of her mother either? I always hated it when Laito brought ours up. Or when Ayato did. They were always disrespectful. _Isn't that right, Teddy?_

“You - you talked to my mother?” I took note of the way her teeth closed around the words. Like talking was suddenly difficult.

Laito snickered. “No, of course not. Not with all that _protection~_ she kept around. But, she isn't _really_ your mother, is she, Bitch-chan? She was just another person who kept you hidden from us.”

Kimiko’s mouth parted, and the shape made another hunger swell in me. _What would she sound like if it was_ me _giving her pleasure? Or. . . I wonder if I'd prefer her silent._  

Somewhere distantly, I heard Ayato say, “If that's the case, why didn't _that bastard_ kill her too?” 

Kimiko’s breath caught in her throat, her fear picking up under her skin. I inched my head to the side curiously. What was she afraid of all the sudden?

Laito gave a light chuckle. “Well, she was fairly ignorant of the situation from what my familiars could hear. But. .  ." he paused dramatically, his eyes casting around the table, "it seems her mother  _did~_ know that our Bitch-chan is at least part witch _and_ part hunter.”

I blinked very slowly.

_. . . Part witch?. . . Part hunter?. . ._

The room fell quiet as all of us processed those terrible words. The silence rolled, pressing on my ears. My eyes darkened, my desire for Kimiko entirely dissolving. My fangs began to throb, fury growing, running down my arms, making my hands shake.

She had the blood of our enemies? And not just one enemy, but TWO?!

“THE WORTHLESS HUMANS THAT TRY TO FIGHT US?!” My blood erupted fire as I slammed to my feet. I couldn't suffer the calm expressions on their faces. Did they not see?! I would MAKE them see! “Don’t tell us lies! You mere insect!” I screamed at her, sneering at my brothers, rippling with emotion. “Maybe SHE is the one tricking us, not Father! SHE is the one putting spells on us, so she can KILL US! That's why it's the only blood we can drink! She has DIRTY, DISGUSTING BLOOD! She WANTS us to die! Just like all the other hunters and witches!” My eyes widened with accusation at Reiji. “Just like the one that killed YOUR MOTHER!”

"Kanato!” Reiji’s palms pounded the table as he too stood, and I knew I'd hit the right spot. “That is enough! I will not tolerate this again! Sit down and stay quiet! Or do you wish for another stint in the cells?!”

I hissed, a guttural snarl in my throat. How dare he threaten me with that again! Over  _her_! 

My eyes were a sharp edge, wanting to slice through that prey. _This_ was why human emotions were foolish! _This_ was why I made the brides into dolls! So they couldn't betray me! So they couldn't make me hurt!

But Teddy pushed against me in my arms, reaching through the hot anger.

 _You should sit down, Kanato,_ he said. _Look, they're not calm now. You made them worry._

I roughly grabbed the chair beneath me, growling. But I saw Ayato and Subaru had different expressions now.

_That's right! They shouldn't view me like I’m worthless! They should listen to what I say!_

“You know we have theorized that former brides also had witch or hunter blood,” Reiji said to me as he also returned to his seat. "Since they came from the Church."

“I know, but we were _allowed_ to kill them,” I ground out under my breath, staring Kimiko down as if I could kill her with my expression. I could. I could light her on fire right now and watch her burn. I knew the spell.

“Kanato. . .,” she whispered, those gemstones delving into me, her features sad.

Pity. The useless pity.

It made me feel weak, vulnerable. Pathetic. Like her. I hated it. She was the one with bad human blood. The enemy. She didn't get to pity _me_. I would tear that expression off her face. Scratch it off with just my nails.

But my stomach tightened further with every second that her blue gaze stayed on me.

 _Ah, Teddy. . . I understand now,_ I said as something shifted inside me.

Yes, now I understood why I had been staring at her so diligently this whole time. She hadn't yet _seen_ me, not really. But now her full focus was on me. Just _me_. Even though they had impure blood, I still wanted to keep those eyes. Only on me. Always. The deep blue, not quite sapphires but not yet topaz. I wanted them. Spell or not, I wanted them all to myself.

 _Perhaps instead of trying to cut her heart out, I should have taken her eyes instead_. _Don't you think so, Teddy? I could have kept them in my pocket, where I could take them out only when I was alone._

“She is also demonkind. Her mother was clear on _that_ ,” I heard Laito say in a voice from miles away, a tone that I vaguely recognized as solemn, even for him. But I wasn’t really listening. 

 _That's right, Kanato. We knew that before the others did,_ Teddy said, reeling my mind back in, like he was trying to make it sound _acceptable_ that she was a part of our enemies.

Her breath had stopped in her lungs, making her seem very much unlike one with demon blood. The fear made her appear foolishly innocent, reminding me of her absurd voice in the dungeon, asking how to release me from that cell. That innocence had made me want to slice her skin, despite that strange feeling that had formed in my chest.

I rubbed a hand on my ribcage. The feeling was still there.

_You still want her, don't you?_

Teddy's voice was as solemn as Laito's, giving me the urge to kick him across the floor.

 _No, Teddy. I want to_ break _her._

Then she couldn't pity me. She couldn't make me hurt.

“Well, are you going to tell me what _demon_ I am?” Kimiko’s voice became colder, like ice between her teeth as an impatient glare flared across her features. “Is it vampire?”

Her words distracted me from the fact that her eyes had left me and were now on Laito _._ _Hmmm. . . Teddy, maybe she is too stupid to trick us? Speaking to vampires like that. . ._

I saw Laito smile in my peripheral vision. He seemed to think her attitude was amusing, and not disrespectful of a lesser race. “No, Bitch-chan. Not vampire. Your sweet 'mother' didn't know what else you were, but she was _certain~_ it wasn't vampire. It turns out, she is just a simple human herself, just someone who married into all of this. Her _dear_ husband had most of the answers. But as you know already, he is _long_ dead.”

A look passed between Reiji and Laito, one that I didn't understand. No, that was wrong -- I did understand. Secrets. More secrets.  _What are they, do you suppose, Teddy? What are they hiding?_

Reiji's eyes scanned back to Kimiko. “What does your previous family know of us?” he asked, piercing her with a glare that should have made any prey cower.

And she almost did, but she was still trying to be a brave prey. So cute. And irritating. Though I did enjoy the way her eyes widened.

“I - I don't know! How could I possibly have known my family was involved in all this?!” Her heart stuttered, racing.

But she was telling the truth. Human hearts had a perceptible beat when they lied, a scent in their perspiration.

_Our family isn’t the only ones with secrets, is it, Teddy?_

But Ayato didn't seem convinced. All at once he jerked upwards. Her chair was pushed back just as fast, his hands slamming on the armrests, his face in hers. “You're telling me you’re a witch and a hunter -- and you know  _nothing?”_

I smiled to myself. _We made him worry, didn't we, Teddy?_

Her voice rose pleasantly in fear. “I’m not--”

But Ayato, at least, wasn’t going to let her speak rudely. “Your blood, it's different. After this morning, _I_ feel different. What did your fucking family do to me? What did _you_ do to me?”

The threat was clear in his voice, and in his stance. I found myself barely able to contain a sudden urge to slide across the table, my fingers itching to wrap around Ayato's throat and drag him away from her.

_I want to be the one to hurt her, Teddy. I don’t want the others to touch her!_

“You better fucking back off. She's telling the truth.” Subaru jumped up instead, looming over Ayato. I wondered if _he_ would grab Ayato by the throat. Again.

“Yes, obviously, we need to get on with this,” Reiji barked, the crimson color in his eyes flashing. “Ayato, what exactly do you notice is different?”

Ayato reluctantly straightened, his eyes cutting hatefully at Subaru, but he veered and took up his seat. “I don't know. I feel. . . Stronger. Faster. Everything's clearer. . . I can't explain it. And I hit Richter like a hundred fucking yards across the graveyard.”

My ears perked in interest. Strength that even surpassed our Uncle? Who was far, far older, faster and stronger than all of us? As a pureblood vampire of the royal line, he had powers that other vampires did not. Not as strong as Father, but age and knowledge still put him above us, until the heir took the crown.

 _And then there was Subaru who broke through the vampire cells_ , Teddy said. _And the fight. . ._

A flint of anger resurfaced, making my thoughts quickly sharpen. All this had happened after they. . . joined.

The sudden realization hit me.

“It's a binding spell, isn't it?” The question was more of statement, my voice low, flat beneath my breath as my gaze found Reiji.

He was locking eyes with Laito again before meeting mine. “Yes, it seems likely it is some sort of binding spell.”

I heard Kimiko take a long swallow, and I turned, following the movement of her throat, watching with a pang of hunger as her pulse fluttered in her neck. “What is a ‘binding spell?’” she asked Reiji, slowly, timidly, almost as if she was unsure she wanted the answer.

“It's an ancient spell,” I said, and her gaze circled to me again. Her focus. On me.

Ayato interrupted, scoffing. “Isn't that a stupid love spell?”

I didn't like that. I HATED it. I HATED how her eyes switched to him, how they _looked_ at him. I wished I had a fork right then, so I could take her eyes out, and she would never give Ayato another glance. Or Subaru. _Or any of them!_

“No, it is not a ‘love _’_ spell, Ayato.” Reiji’s exasperated voice barely reached my ears. “It is an exceedingly rare spell that is only used in the exceptional instances when two parties form an emotional attachment. A bond. What humans might call love.”

“See? Love spell.” He absurdly crossed his arms like he knew what he was talking about. For all his years of studying, Ayato still didn't know as much as he liked to think.

And he ignored the dark, angry expression I was keeping leveled on him. Just like he always ignored me. Like they all did. Until I made them pay attention.

 _We know far more, don't we, Teddy?_ _Decades of spellcasting, removing souls, reviving souls, tormenting souls_.  _Yes, we know how they work._

I could hear Reiji grinding his fangs, heard the irritation under the surface of his words. “Again. Incorrect, Ayato. A binding spell does not _cause_ love. There is no such spell that has that power. Binding spells merely join two beings who are already experiencing the emotion.”

 _A foolish, useless emotion,_ I whispered to Teddy.

“Wait a minute.” Ayato sat forward, and I knew what he was going to say. “That sure as hell is not what is happening here!”

I squinted, evaluating Ayato as he squirmed, measuring Subaru as he did the same, mumbling under his breath, while Kimiko sat rigid, frozen in place.

“Father modified it,” I said, suddenly certain.

Even Teddy knew that humans nor vampires could fall “in love” that fast. If ever. _We have observed them, haven’t we, Teddy? Played with many souls that way. . . But Father has the power to bend spells the way he wants._

“That would be the most reasonable explanation, yes,” Reiji agreed. “Less than one in ten thousand vampires might be able to experience something close to what a human would call love. And even less times, the vampires bind themselves together, making their bond permanent and stronger. In addition, if one dies, the other will as well, with the intention of sparing one another an eternity of loss. Exceedingly rarely has it been used between a vampire and a human.”

“And never between more than two people,” I added, regarding Kimiko intently. Her eyes had grown wider with each word that came out of Reiji’s mouth. And even more so when they rounded on me again, where I wanted them. Beautiful gemstones. Liquid blue. All their own color.

“I'm not sure I'm understanding,” she said quietly, her lips moving almost as if they wanted to quiver.

“What exactly are you having difficulty understanding, Kimiko-san? It isn't that hard to comprehend.” My gaze bore into hers. Something in me despising that quivering lip.

“If it's like you said, a binding spell. . . if your father wants you to kill each other, wouldn't that mean I'd die too?”

“Did you not hear what Reiji said?” My voice was icy, cold with annoyance at her idiocy being spoken aloud. “Father modified the spell.”

But even as I said that, hate began to fill me. I hated that she had thought of that. I hated that she might be right. The purpose of a binding spell was so that when one died, the other did as well.

That didn't fall in line with what Laito was suggesting, that Father wanted us to kill each other.

 _Laito might be wrong,_ Teddy said.

“How the fuck do you even know it's a binding spell?” Subaru, usually quiet in group discussions as he often stayed to himself, said what I was thinking. “It might be something else.”  

“Might be.” Laito’s smile didn't slip from his face. “But binding spells are _fun_ spells, aren't they? They _are_ the only spells sealed with a good _fucking_ ~. You know, the ‘joining of flesh’ and all.” 

 _He has a point,_ Teddy said.

But I wasn't listening. I felt sick. My vision homed in on the three of them across the table. Kimiko, Subaru, Ayato. All of their mouths parted, their faces reddening. But hers was flushed with embarrassment. Theirs was anger.

My own features became hooded and darker.

Were they bound together? Was that why she looked at them the way she did? The reason she interfered in the fight?

Was she bound to _them_? 

But she had healed _me_. Wanted to free _me_. Wanted to stay with _me_.

Ayato impulsively jumped up, his chair toppling over on the marble. “I've had enough of this. Ore-sama is not bound to some human -- or witch or demon or whatever the fuck she is! Fucking _prey_! If anything, she's bound to _me_!”

I clung to my anger as a flash of something went through Kimiko’s eyes.

Hurt?

Laughter built in my chest. Joyless, enraged laughter. She really did believe she was more than prey.

_She will never be more than that. You think so too, don't you, Teddy?_

But before Teddy could agree, a new voice abruptly materialized in the room.

“Or maybe she’s a myth.”

A thunderous tome dropped onto the table, the impact echoing over the hall.

Shuu had finally decided to join the meeting, shocking all of us as he flipped the ancient text open and shoved it to Reiji. “Here. See for yourself,” he said.

The silence in the air swelled for a long moment.

_Teddy, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen Reiji that surprised. Have you?_

Teddy shrugged as Reiji recovered himself, eyes narrowing in suspicion, the usual disdain clouding his features with Shuu’s presence. “ _You_ found something? What could possibly have motivated a lazy sloth such as yourself to do such a thing?”

“Do you want to know or not?” Shuu grumbled, arms crossing his chest.

But Reiji was already glancing down, studying the words. I craned my neck, desperate to see what was written there. “What does it say?” I asked.

Reiji ignored me, glaring up at Shuu. “ _You_ can decipher this?”

“Why, do you need me to read it?” Shuu said impatiently.

Reiji bristled. “I have a vast knowledge of this ancient language. Of course I can translate it.”

 _Then do it already!_ I gritted. Standing up, I couldn't control my need to know, all this annoying uncertainty getting under my nerves. Was she human? An enemy? Just a trick from our Father?

“Tomes and scrolls from this era are not permitted to be removed from the oxygen-controlled vaults--”

“The Immortal Human. . .” I cut in sharply, interrupting Reiji as I read over his shoulder.

He rose and shoved his chair back, shoving me back with it. “Excuse me, Kanato, I will read.”

“I can do it!” I yelled, trying to reassert my ground, show him that I knew as much as him!

But Reiji ignored me -- always ignoring me! -- placing both hands on either side of the book. Quietly snarling between my fangs, I peeked around his elbows. The text was worn almost beyond recognition. I squinted, my eyes thinning to slits, my curiosity winning over my anger.

 _Hmm. . .Teddy, this language is archaic. I haven’t seen this writing in many decades. Perhaps over a century_.

Excitement traveled along my arms. I loved old books. I used to force the servants to read them to me when I was young. But not books as old as this.

Reiji sifted through the words, reading bits aloud as I scanned the writing. “It seems all the demon clans are listed,” he said, “Same with the hunter and witch covens.”

The clans were scattered across the two pages, like some strange family tree, with broken, smudged lines connecting one to the other.

The last clan linked to the “tree” caught my attention.

_Am I reading that right, Teddy?_

Blinking fast, I scrolled over the word again.

But Reiji confirmed it. “The Seraph.”

I straightened, my back stiffening. _That’s impossible, isn’t it, Teddy?_

The Angel Clan had long since been chased away from the brutal wars between realms, thousands and thousands of years ago, locked in their world they called Eden, where no one had been since.

Or so the storybooks told us. _Stories. Like the servants would read._

Backing slowly away, I grasped Teddy in a tight hug, feeling strangely discomfited. I didn’t notice that everyone else had gotten up and gathered around the tome. Everyone except her.

I didn’t hear Reiji read the last words on the page. I didn’t need to. I already knew what they said. The entire tree of clans led to them, tapering down the pages until it was just those words. Though some of the letters were missing, the translation was clear.

_“The Immortal Human_

_Born of Each World_

_The Eternal Blood_

_Giving Power Over All.”_

Everyone was bent over the text, studying it, talking at once, trying to decipher its meaning. But I only saw her, my world narrowing to only her. She was watching them, the blood gone from her face, her eyes darting across my brothers.

Then her gaze landed on me. Her features were concerned, scared, uncertain. A squeezing sensation in my chest recalled that same expression on her face, when I'd forced her fingernails into my skin, wanting her to hurt me. She had asked me a question then. _“Why are you doing this?”_

I had asked myself the same question, and I didn't have an answer. Now another question passed between us. A silent question. _W_ _hat is she?_

My shoulders tensed, my arms drawing in tighter. I had an answer this time. Didn't I?

_She's just prey._

_._ _. . Right, Teddy?_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this chapter wasn't too confusing! I will make things clearer in the chapters to come :).
> 
> Edit: Sept 19: I know its been forever since I've updated! I'm so sorry! It's been an insane summer! Please be patient with me. I haven't abandoned this story, I promise ♡


	42. Gifted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri learns more than she wants to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omgaaawwad I got a chapter written! I am soooooo sorry for taking so long! It's been a horrible summer, a horrible YEAR. But things are looking up so no worries, imma get through it :). I hope this chapter is worth the wait for you guys. Enjoy!

* * *

 

 

The air all around me seemed to thicken and blur as my mind attempted to reject reality, unable to string pieces of logic together.

Witch. Hunter. Demon. Angel.

Those words ached in my skull, pressing in on me until I could hardly breathe. All I wanted to do was get up and run from the table, to run from that book they were all still arguing over, to run from everything that I had learned.

I didn't want to hear any more. I didn't want any more answers.

 _Answers_.

Laito had said my adoptive father had the answers.

My _father_.

The man who promised me he had searched for my biological parents. The man who said he used all of his resources to investigate where I came from. The man I adored. The man who doted on me.

The man who lied to me.

_My mother and him BOTH lied! They knew about this world! They knew I was a witch! A hunter!_

_A demon._

I suddenly felt as if I would wretch, as if my whole body wanted to physically purge itself of this knowledge. But I choked on the cold taste of betrayal, forcing in a deep breath, forcing my lungs to suppress that horrid pain before it could rise up and destroy me. I had already processed far too many emotions for one night, for a _lifetime_. But this one, this one I couldn't deal with.

All at once, the loud, angry voices talking over each other were too much. I couldn't bear to hear anymore of their theorizing, their guessing, their speculating.

“None of you really know what's going on, do you?”

I found myself on my feet, my voice spilling out automatically, as if it were someone else speaking for me. I felt oddly detached, like some defense mechanism had kicked in, hardening my emotions before they made me crumble to the ground.

The voices all stopped, and six pairs of predatory eyes descended on me at the same time. The room rippled with tension, but somehow, I wasn't frightened. I felt distant, outside myself, my body somehow summoning its own courage against their penetrating stares.

“You said it yourself, right Shuu? It's a myth.” My eyes moved independently, finding Shuu’s sapphire ones as my hand gestured to the oversized tome. “You don't know if that book is talking about me. You don't know what kind of spell is affecting me. You don't know if it's a binding spell. You don't know _anything_.”

My voice was calm, steady, methodical. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I could still feel something, something persistent tugging through the cold numbness that had overtaken me. There was a painful twist in my pulse as my mouth formed those two words.

_Binding spell._

Maybe _they_ didn't know for sure. But _I_ did.

The moment Kanato suggested it, I knew with every ounce of my being that he was right. Something had suddenly clicked inside of me, like those two words had all at once given meaning to that abhorrent _feeling_ , that irrational sense of connecting, of bonding, with Subaru and Ayato. And Laito had only further confirmed it: _“Sealed with a good fucking. The joining of flesh.”_

The words convulsed in my veins. It didn't explain the jealousy, or why they could only drink my blood, or how they were supposed to kill each other if we were. . . _bound_ . . . together. But none of that mattered. I knew. I just _knew_ , that's what it was.

On some level, I should have been relieved. I was right all along -- the feeling wasn't real. It was just some kind of magical illusion.

_. . . Wasn't it?_

Reiji said a binding spell only worked on those that had already developed an emotional bond, that it didn't _cause_ the bond. But then both Reiji and Kanato had implied that wasn't the case -- _couldn't_ be the case -- that vampires rarely formed emotional bonds. Even Karlheinz had said it himself, _“As vampires, we don't carry the same bonds of love that humans do.”_

_The feeling isn't real! Their father modified the spell! I'll talk to the bastard, find out what he did to us! Make him undo it!_

But that knowledge -- that this feeling was just some mind trick -- it still didn't release the tension in my shoulders or the anxiety turning my insides to knots. In fact, it only seemed to add to my unease, leaving a feeling inside me that I wouldn't even dare to contemplate, a feeling that felt too disturbingly like. . . _disappointment_.

“You're right. It's just an ancient work of fiction. A collection of legends from before even our time.”

Shuu’s voice overrode the confusing emotions trying to force their way to the front of my mind. The seriousness in his tone pulled at me, a seriousness that said he didn't quite believe it was fiction at all.

I took in a deep breath that shuddered through me. “But yet, you think what's written in that book is _true_?”

Shuu regarded me intently, breaking through my cold, detached resolve. “From the text that was left in a readable state, this bloodline,” he motioned to the open pages, “is a story of how the angels despaired over the constant war between worlds and races. There was one who could stop the fighting, one who could end the war with the power in her blood, the power of all the bloodlines combined. She had no real power herself. No strength or magic -- just a fragile being, like a human. And by all accounts she would look human, smell human, _taste_ human. Except, she would possess certain _gifts_.”

Shuu emphasized the word --  _gifts --_ giving it a heavy meaning that matched the unusual intensity in his eyes as he stared hard at me.

I wished I could hold onto whatever distant courage that had brought me to my feet, whatever fearless detachment that had accused the vampires of their ignorance. I desperately wanted that numbness to keep a grip on my emotions, to take over my voice for me, make me shout at all of them that it was just a ridiculous, ancient story, that there was no truth to it. But my mouth was unable to move, my tongue paralyzed, as if it knew that I needed to hear the rest.

“Yes, the legend recounts that she would be gifted with certain attributes of supernatural beings.”

It was Reiji's voice that answered, his gloved finger scanning across the markings, his eyes searching down the page as he translated. “Much of the text appears to be missing. . . but I think we can deduce the answer. Obviously, she has obtained Immortality from the demon bloodline. And I had already surmised that the painkilling and quick healing effect from our saliva was a result of the Hunter in her blood. . . ” His voice trailed as he rubbed his chin in contemplation.

“Angels’ blood heals those who drink it. That was in the old stories the servants would read, wasn't it, Teddy?” Kanato spoke from the corner of the room, where he had been watching me silently, heedfully, while the others argued.

Reiji’s sharp gaze flicked from Kanato's to mine for just a brief moment before returning to the book. “Yes, that could be a possibility,” he said. No doubt he was remembering Subaru's neck snapping into place after just a few drops of my blood.

“And then there’s the witches,” Shuu cut in. “Some witches are known to have Dream Walking abilities." His face was emotionless, his voice deep and monotone. But his gaze pierced a hole through my sternum.

_Dream Walking._

Reiji said something else; I saw his lips move, but the sound wasn't reaching me. Everything around me narrowed, narrowed down to just them.

Shuu. Subaru. Ayato.  
  
Their stares burrowed into me, their memories -- their dreams -- raw and glaring in my head. The images of them as children twisted around me like hands around my throat, threatening to strangle me. I severed eye contact before they could overwhelm me, blinking down at my own hands, shaking as they supported my body against the table.  
  
_No! None of this is true! It's just a story! All of it, it's just a story!_

My brain churned chaotically with that single thought, determined to block everything else out, determined not to accept any truth to any of this. I had already learned to accept that vampires existed in this world; I had accepted my own immortality, even accepted spells and magic.

_But this?_

How could I accept some ancient fiction that said I was some sort of legend, some kind of mythical creature -- some supernatural _weapon_ \-- thousands of years in the making?

_It isn't true! It can't be!_

But the words rang false even in my own mind.

“What happened to her? The girl in the story?” Kanato’s voice was soft, curious, floating through the roaring in my ears as if it were coming from somewhere else, somewhere far away, a place I didn't want to be.

“I'm not sure,” Shuu replied with a long sigh, folding his arms across his chest. “There’s still a lot missing. But, I do remember some other legends, where the Seraph locked themselves away in Eden, and no one has seen them since.”

Reiji's brows were drawn over his eyes as he studied the book. “There's something else as well.”

His face lifted as he closed the aged tome, and I dropped my head again before his eyes met mine, closing them tight to shield myself against whatever else he might say. I didn't want to hear any more. But I couldn't block out the sound of Reiji's footsteps as he moved around the table, the clip of his shoes slowing beside me until he was so close that I shivered from the cold emanating from his body.

I didn't look up at him, _couldn't_ look up him. Too many emotions were merging together, emotions I couldn't name even if I had an entire library at my disposal. I felt as though the world had opened beneath my feet and I was falling from one nightmare into another.

_It's just a story! That's all!_

Reiji's fingers slipped under my chin, redirecting my clouded, disoriented gaze to his. A chilling, dark curiosity was branded deep in his red eyes, a red so cutting that I momentarily forgot where I was and what was happening. His touch on my skin, the steel in his grip, the look of interest and anticipation on his face, sent time spinning backwards until I was back in the dungeon bleeding under his torture. Dizziness poured into my head, and I swayed, overwhelmed with remembered pain, my vision tunneling under that black memory.

But then something else came over me. Flashes of his father, of the photograph Karlheinz held of my mother and my son, of the choice he'd forced on me.

A new, horrifying possibility darkened my thoughts, dropping the world back into focus. 

_Akio has my bloodline too._

Terror shot through my veins, driving out all other thoughts and emotions.

“It doesn't matter. It's just a story,” I said urgently, trying to pull out of Reiji's grasp. “The only thing that matters is that we have to leave _right now_. I _must_ talk to your father.”

My voice came out fast, cracking with something that sounded like desperation. But Reiji didn't let me go.

Subaru and Ayato were instantly at my side, moving faster than my eyes could detect. Both of them growled at Reiji's hold on me with a feralness that sent chills down my arms, lifting the fine hairs.

Reiji’s lips spread into an arrogant smile, but there was no amusement behind it, only a penetrating _interest_. His eyes flicked from Subaru to Ayato and back to me before he slid his hand down from my face.

“Yes,” he said, “you _will_ meet with our father. If there is any truth to this _story_ , then the power of your blood apparently comes at a cost. You will learn what you can from our father and immediately report back to me.”

“Ah~. That's why her blood is _sooo_ addicting, isn't it?” Laito’s voice followed his smiling form as he appeared beside Reiji. “Let me guess~. It drives all those who drink it into madness?” Laito had been strangely quiet, but now his whole body shook as he giggled, as if sitting back and watching the entire situation unfold had thoroughly entertained him. “Hmmm. . . This _is_ intriguing. Does our dear father intend for us to kill our enemies _and_ ourselves?”

But I was only half listening as panic began clawing at me, turning like a jagged fist in my chest. That motherly instinct which told me Akio was safe was dissipating with every word that filled the room.

“We need to leave _now_ ,” I pleaded, my voice strained, distressed.

“Yes, indeed we do,” Reiji replied, checking his watch. “Subaru, Ayato, go upstairs and change your clothes. We will meet in the tunnel in five minutes.” His gaze dropped to mine. “And _you_. Come with me.”

Reiji turned and stood in the archway, glancing at me over his shoulder with an expectant scowl. Fear crept up the back of my neck, and I looked from Subaru to Ayato, not wanting them to leave me alone in Reiji's presence.

Subaru paused a moment, his body rigid, before marching over to Reiji, standing face to face with him. “If you touch her, I _will_ kill you.”

Reiji adjusted his glasses, seemingly unaffected by Subaru's words. “Meet in the tunnel in five minutes,” he repeated slowly, measuring out every word with authority.

Subaru looked back at Ayato and in the next moment I felt his cold fingers circle my arm. Ayato's breath brushed across my ear as he said, “Just scream for us if he does anything to you.”

Goosebumps rippled down my skin, making my body tingle, easing my panic. Ayato had been so angry with me before, furious that I apparently had the blood of their enemies. Maybe all this uncertainty and speculation had changed his mind, or perhaps Reiji's hold on me ignited something protective within him. Either way, my throat thickened with something I couldn't identify, something I couldn't explain.

Whatever it was, it emboldened me, and I took a tentative step towards Reiji. But then I blinked in surprise. For just half a second, something flared across Reiji's face as he briefly glanced at Shuu. It was the first time I'd seen anything but utter disgust and loathing toward his eldest brother. Even as children, Reiji had seemed to have nothing but contempt for Shuu. But in that tiniest of moments, there was something different hidden beneath Reiji's angled cheekbones.

But the look was gone as quickly as it had come, and Reiji swiveled on his heel. Walking through the archway, he nodded at me to follow. Reluctantly, I fell in behind him as he led me down the hall.

Subaru and Ayato’s presence evaporated behind me, but my body pulsed, every inch of me still vitally aware of their possessiveness, their fierce need to keep me safe.

A flash of insight made my mind turn over inside my head. _That effect wasn't mentioned in the tome, was it?_  

No. It was definitely something else.

“It's not just my bloodline -- there's still a binding spell, isn't there?” I asked to Reiji's back.

He paused in front of an oversized, richly carved mahogany door, his eyes turning on me with a sharp look. “That would be my assumption, yes. Tonight you will ascertain this information from our father.”

“What makes you think he'll tell me anything?” I asked, shifting uneasily in my high heels.

Reiji stepped closer and my muscles tensed. “I do not know that he _will_ reveal anything to you. But if there is a modicum of truth to that legend, then you are something of great value indeed. In that case, he might divulge things to you he otherwise would not. Besides. . .”

His eyes narrowed, falling to my throat. “Father also drank your blood, did he not?”

That realization hit me hard, throwing my memory back to the Tuesday night when Karlheinz had kidnapped me, to the feel of his fangs at my neck, the first time a vampire had bitten me.

_Oh god._

“What are you implying? What does that mean?” My voice came out in a hurry, trying to process the significance of this revelation.

Reiji bent down, his face closing in on mine until we were almost at eye level. “There are still many questions left unanswered. Ayato and Subaru seemed to have only gained the full extent of your blood’s power once they _joined_ with you. Which means. . . You have much to discuss with our father, don't you?”

Reiji straightened, his brow arched as he waved me through the doorway. Drawing in a shallow, dumbfounded breath, I tentatively slipped past him, a new wave a fear surging through me. What was Reiji doing? Where had he taken me?

The chiffon gown rustled against the floorboards as I stepped into an elegant bedroom. An ornate, canopied bed took up almost the entire side wall, the matching decadent, dark furniture giving the room a late nineteenth-century feel.

Reiji shuffled past me to the opposite wall, where a mirrored wardrobe was perched between two beautifully etched windows. Silver panes reflected his hardened face as he opened the wardrobe’s doors.

Pulling out a carved wooden box, he tilted his head toward me. “I can see that you are wondering why I have brought you here. This was my mother’s room.”

 _His mother?_ My skin prickled. _The one Kanato said the hunters killed?_

Reiji’s jaw stiffened as he looked down at the box. “Come here,” he demanded.

Swallowing the growing lump in my esophagus, I somehow managed to put one foot in front of the other until I was standing beside him.

“That gown is appallingly simple for a royal ball.” He leveled a disdainful glare on my dress.

Some still-present rebellious part of me crackled despite the fear and anxiety coursing through me. This gown represented the girls I wanted to honor, and all the future girls whose lives I hoped to save.

 _Girls he might have killed_.

A jolt of outrage opened my mouth before I could stop it, soaked in all the anger and sadness that clung to me. “Did you expect me to wear a wrinkled, dirty gown that you threw on the floor?”

My heart nearly stopped. The desperation and worry for my son seemed to have demolished my common sense, and I wanted nothing more than to reach out and grab those words before they made it to his ears.

_Jesus, Sayuri! You have to keep control of yourself! Especially tonight!_

Hardly daring to breathe, I forced myself not to waver as Reiji stood poised above me, tall and regal and terrifying. His formal clothing gave him an even stronger sense of power and authority, the air of the demon prince that he was. My heels added a few inches to my height, but I still seemed so small, so far below him that he could crush me with just a look.

But instead of lashing out to punish me, Reiji’s eyes confused me by glinting, his lips twitching, almost as if he enjoyed that I had regained a brief defiance. But mostly, he seemed to enjoy the fear that followed it.

After letting a long, tense moment pass, savoring my discomfort, he cleared his throat. “You represent the royal family now. You will wear attire befitting a royal bride.” 

To my surprise he lifted his fingertips from the box, a long string of sapphires and diamonds gleaming brilliantly against the white of his glove. “If you choose to wear such a despicable gown, then at the very least you will wear these jewels that have been in the family for centuries.”

My entire body froze in place as I prepared for him to lift the jewelry to my throat. But instead of a necklace, he brought the shimmering gems to my hair, arranging them atop my head and around the loose bun. I closed my eyes, my teeth pulling in my quivering lower lip, holding utterly still as Reiji’s touch, his nearness, chilled me to the bone.

Sensing him move away, I peeled my eyelids open, watching as he rummaged through a drawer, pulling out a pair of long, elegant white gloves. I barely breathed as he silently but purposefully reached for my arms. His cold fingers made me shudder as he slipped the gloves over my skin, sliding the satin fabric past my elbows.

His calm, controlled demeanor stood in sharp contrast with the unbridled cruelty he'd nearly unleashed on me earlier that evening when he'd discovered me with Shuu. Now, something entirely different mixed in his eyes, something that almost seemed like fascination, like I was something he wanted to. . . _dissect_.

“You are a lady now, and certainly no ordinary one at that.” Reiji fastened a thick, matching sapphire and diamond studded bracelet around my wrist, the stunning jewels feeling almost as heavy as a shackle. “All who see you tonight must believe you are valued by the entity they fear, the Sakamaki Family. Otherwise, they will assume you are fair prey, and would most certainly try to take you for themselves.”

My nerves spiked upward with my heartbeat. “Take me for themselves? What do you mean? Exactly what kind of event is this?”

I had already expected that we would be attending some sort of royal event. But with my thoughts focused on Akio and meeting with Karlheinz, I hadn't taken a moment to consider what “royal event” meant in vampire terms.

Reiji didn't answer right away. With smooth, polished movements, he closed the wardrobe doors and stepped behind me.

My breath tangled in my throat as his hands pulled my shoulders back to a formal posture, followed by his fingers reaching around to hook beneath my jaw, lifting my gaze to our reflections in the mirror.

If he hadn't been holding my chin, my mouth might've fallen to the floor. Deep blue gemstones alternated with sparkling white, my hair practically glowing a vibrant red against the sapphires and diamonds interweaved among the strands. And the vision of my own self would have been more beautiful, even taken my breath away, if it weren't for Reiji's terrifying form hovering over me.

He grinned at me predatorily in the mirror, as if nothing pleased him more than to have his prey exquisitely presented before him. “Tonight is the Autumn Equinox,” he said, finally answering my question. “At the start of each season, the royal family hosts a ball, an event to remind our subjects who’s in power -- and to punish those who forget.”

My mouth went dry. I didn't want to know what “punishment” meant. In fact, I didn't want to know the answer to my next question either, but it slipped out nonetheless. “Does that mean everyone there. . . They will all be vampires?”

The tips of Reiji's fangs shone behind his lips. “All except you, yes. And perhaps any desserts the guests might bring along.”

I watched my reflection turn a sickly pale as horror burned a path straight through me. My gloved hands knotted into fists, doing everything I could not to fall to my knees and beg Reiji to keep me away from such a terrible place. Gritting my teeth and keeping my focus trained on my son, I shoved the fear and disgust into the far corners of my mind, right alongside the betrayal of my parents and everything else I'd slammed behind that mental wall. Akio was what mattered, that was all.

But a frightened tremor still made its way through, shaking my voice. “Shouldn’t we leave then? Didn't you say we are already late?”

“Yes, we are,” he replied, his features tightening, his eyes darkened. “And what is it that you will do for me tonight?”

I gulped past the lump in my throat. “I’ll find out what I can from your father.”

“And report back to me. _Only_ me.” His voice took on a crisp edge, sharpening with every syllable. “My siblings are impulsive and unruly. It would be unwise to give them any information before me. Do I make myself clear?”

A sinister chill snaked through me, and I nodded my head. His request couldn’t have been more impossible to disobey, the words weighted with a dangerous, unspoken threat. 

“Good.” Reiji leaned over my shoulder, his face dipping into my neck, inhaling my scent. “You may be a part of our family now,” he breathed across my pulse, “but do not forget that you are still _prey_.”

Another wave of terror gripped me, my body instantly recalling the way he'd lost control once before.

“Reiji. . . we have to go,” I repeated, my voice thinned, stretched with fear, as it trembled around his name.

He seemed to ignore me, his hands sliding down my bare upper arms, his breath cold against my skin. My lungs nearly lept out of my chest, aching to scream for Subaru and Ayato. But I stopped myself from calling out, my mind suddenly playing back images of their bloody fight, their deadly strength, their murderous intent.

No -- I couldn't call out to them. Not even against Reiji _._

_He's still their brother._

And I refused to pit brother against brother.

But then my stomach lurched, and I swallowed down rising bile as Reiji’s words came back to me. “ _The power in your blood comes at a cost.”_

What if they did end up killing each other because of me?

A dark chuckle rolled up Reiji’s throat, as if the same thoughts were stirring in his mind as well. “Perhaps the madness is controllable after all.”

I blew out a chestful of air as Reiji moved away from me. Peering at him over my shoulder, I watched his lips lift a fraction in a small, triumphant smile. He seemed to have resisted the hold my blood had over him, at least for now.

“You believe that story then?” I asked timidly, something knotting inside me. If someone like Reiji believed it. . .

“I believe in what I can see, in what I can study and learn.” He walked to the door, motioning for me to follow. “But, there is, of course, inherent value in what ancient stories tell us. Vampires are in your human storybooks, are they not?”

I frowned in confusion as I moved toward him. “But, the stories weren't exactly correct. Real vampires are different from the stories.”

A humorless smile stretched across his face. “Precisely.”

He placed a hand on the small of my back, guiding me out of the room and into the hallway. Even though it was meant to be a gentleman’s touch escorting a lady, I shivered, my body too keenly aware of the violence that lurked inside Reiji, my sense of dread heightened by the stark _curiosity_ that had grown behind his eyes.

Leading me through the mansion, Reiji entered a familiar hallway, and to my shock, he stopped in front of a familiar spiral staircase that descended underground.

My heart instantly turned into a choking ball in my throat and I stumbled backwards.

_He's taking me to the dungeon?!_

But the hand on my hip pushed me forward.

“No! Where are you taking me?!” My voice reached a high pitch, suddenly terrified that I'd fallen for some cruel game, that this was all part of Reiji's plan to drag me down in the cells and torture me all over again.

But another voice answered, a cold hand wrapping around my gloved one. “Bitch-chan, don't you remember? This is the way to _hell_.”

Laito was on the staircase pulling on my arm. My feet tripped forward, missing the first steps and falling through the air.

Laito caught me into his chest, his mocking laughter ringing in my ears, coiling around my chest, bringing back everything he'd done to me in that dark, terrible cell.

_No! They can't do this!! No!_

Something in the back of my mind tried to remind me they were meeting in a “tunnel”. But the panic taking over me drowned out my ability to fully analyze the meaning of that word.

Pushing violently against Laito, I fought to regain my balance, my legs shaking beneath me. “No, Laito! Let go of me!”

“The passage between worlds is down here, in the tunnel.” Kanato’s voice wafted from below, the sound barely reaching me as I struggled in Laito's hold. But I managed to slow my fighting enough to turn my head, finding Kanato on the stairs, staring up at us, his Teddy in his arms.

Before I could make sense of Kanato's words, a low snarl came from behind me.

“Take your fucking hands off her.”

A jerk to my arm pulled me into a different chest -- Subaru's chest, with Ayato close behind him.

And I couldn't control it. I collapsed against Subaru, leaning into him, almost sobbing with with utter relief. The strength in his arms overwhelmed me, perversely chasing out the terror vibrating through me. And I eagerly welcomed it.

I knew I that should have been sickened, that I shouldn't have felt safe with him -- or with Ayato. They were just as dangerous as the others, just as capable of hurting me. But with his arms around me, it was impossible to grasp rationality.

Trying to calm my pulse and gather what wits I had left, I looked up, my eyes wide with confusion, darting between the brothers all dressed in their formal wear. “What's going on?” I asked on a long breath. “I thought we were going to a ball?”

Reiji pushed past Laito and paused for a heartbeat, his features narrowing at the way my hands clung to Subaru. The muscles flexing in his jaw were just barely perceptible, and despite being within the safety of Ayato and Subaru, my stomach clenched at the possibility of _Reiji_ being jealous.

“The passage underground connects to our family’s castle in _our_ world,” Reiji said as he pulled his gaze away.

_Their world?_

For some reason, the words didn't register.

Turning back to look up at my bewildered expression, Reiji carefully brushed a stray strand of hair away from his glasses. With a smile that stole the air from my lungs, he clarified: “You are accompanying us to the demon realm.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I try, you guys, I really really do try to speed things up. I intended to have them get to the ball this chapter but after 5k words, I still couldn't do it lmaaaoooo... Oh loooord I really hope y'all don't mind. 
> 
> I know this wasn't an exciting chapter, and I'm sorry about that. You guys have waited so long, and I wish I could have given you something more! But at least now you guys know why she heals quickly, why she experiences the painkilling effect -- those are attributes of the Hunters (non canon, that's my own idea. Same with the witches and why she can see the brothers' memories; same for the angels and their healing blood). I still have a lot more explaining to go through though. It's not even close to being over xD. I do have the next 2-3 chapters totally worked out (well could be 10 chapters with my pace loollolol), and I'm super excited about it. So I'm *hoping* to get back on a regular updating schedule but I deff can't promise anything. Thanks for all your patience and support. I appreciate it so, so much! You guys really are the best ♡♡
> 
> *****
> 
> A note about the passage between worlds: In the game, I think the passage is actually in the sewer, but I decided that for my story I wanted it to be in the dungeons because I have the vampire cells and the human cells separated for that reason. So just for my story, it made more sense to have the worlds connected underground through there.
> 
> Also, the whole seasonal ball is my idea as well. They do seem to hold royal balls pretty often in the game, but they never specify what the events are for.


	43. Across the Barrier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayuri accompanies the brothers to the demon realm.

* * *

 

The demon world.  
  
My mind twisted inside my skull, struggling to cope with the knowledge that I was following the brothers to their world. My brain retaliated against me, unable to fathom that I would be in _hell_ , surrounded by vampires, preparing to meet with their King, an ancient creature whose status I hadn't really understood the magnitude of until tonight.  
  
_There is a lot I don't understand. Myself most of all._  
  
A shudder rolled through my body, and I desperately shoved that tome and everything else I'd learned out of my mind. It was too much. Everything. It was all too much.  
  
_Just keep your head above water._ I took a deep breath through my mouth and held it.  
  
_Survive._  
  
I exhaled slowly, trying to center myself.  
  
_Survive, for Akio. For all the brides._  
  
That was all I could do, the only thing I had _control_ over. And I hoped with every single part of me that Karlheinz had been true to his word, that he hadn't harmed my little boy. My insides hollowed out, not even daring to consider the alternative. But each step I took was sapping my resolve, pulling down my confidence, making my knees shake with desperation. I _needed_ to know that Akio was safe.  
  
“You see, Bitch-chan,” Laito chirped, cutting through my terrified thoughts as he stopped at the end of another hall, Reiji and the others stopping with him. “When you came down here to _visit_ Kanato-kun last night, you didn't even _realize~_ you had crossed into our world, did you?”  
  
Laito turned a fanged smile on me, and I froze, blinking rapidly.  
  
_What? I was in their world last night? How?_  
  
With a giggle, Laito disappeared around a corner, where the path split into two directions. Reiji followed him, making the same left turn that I vaguely remembered taking the night before, after I'd panicked and ran from the tall vampire’s whip collection.  
  
Reluctantly, I stepped around the corner as well, falling in behind them with the rest of the brothers.  
  
“Did you _feel_ it, Bitch-chan?” Laito lifted his lip in a half-smile as he peered at me over his shoulder. At my confused expression, he slowed until I caught up beside him. He ignored Ayato’s low growl of warning as he bent into my shoulder. “Supernatural creatures feel~ the cold~ air when crossing the barrier. It was right back there, at the turn. You didn't _notice_ it, Bitch-chan? Hmm?”  
  
I shook my head, my lips parting. Was I supposed to feel it? Did that mean we were in the demon world now?  
  
My eyes darted around me, as if the stone and the dank grit between the bricks would be different, as if the air itself had molded into something else. But everything still looked and felt the same.  
  
Reiji cast a quick, level glance at me as Laito chuckled, “Ah~ well maybe you're actually~ _human_ after all.”  
  
“Father built these passages,” Kanato spoke up suddenly from behind everyone, as if he wanted to contribute to the conversation, but wasn't quite sure how. “He built them so he could travel between worlds secretly to escape from enemies.”  
  
“Don't know why he had to make them so long,” Shuu grumbled under his breath. “Especially since we can't teleport.”  
  
“The labyrinth confuses the enemy,” Reiji replied curtly, reminding me how lost I had been the previous night.

Laito had called it Hell. Was that what the demon world really was? Was I literally in Hell? I felt dizzy, the logical part of my mind having enough difficulty trying to grasp that I had crossed a dimensional barrier, much less that I was in some other-worldly domain ruled by demons.  
  
We rounded several more corners before Reiji halted in front of an obscure door, one that looked as if it led to a closest or some other unassuming room. He produced a small, ordinary key, opening the door to reveal, to my surprise, a narrow staircase that spiraled upwards.  
  
With my chest painfully taut, I lifted my dress and followed behind Reiji and Laito, the others in single file behind me. My heart wound tighter and tighter the higher we climbed. Twice Subaru caught my arm, saving me from tripping on my leaden legs. By the time Reiji reached the landing and led us through a dark stone hallway, I felt as if my chest might cave in on itself.  
  
_Breathe_ , I told myself. _Just breathe._  
  
Somewhere out at the edge of my consciousness, I knew I had to focus on something like inhaling and exhaling, something mindless, because if I didn't, I wasn't sure I would be able to handle whatever I was about to walk into.  
  
My eyes were wide as we wound our way through what seemed like another labyrinth before Reiji unlocked yet another door. I was hovering somewhere between morbid curiosity and the cusp of terror as he nodded me through the doorway.  
  
But I could not have been prepared for the beauty that overtook my senses as I emerged on the other side.  
  
Instead of walking into what I half-expected would be a fiery world teeming with darkness and evil, I felt as if I'd stepped back in time to the Renaissance era -- into some fairytale storybook.  
  
Beautiful gray stone walls seemed to stretch on to the sky, and I tilted my head back, looking up at the stunning pillars that followed the length of the ceilings. Artwork and tapestries framed by candlelit sconces shrouded the ancient stone, matching the Persian rugs and antique furniture.  
  
The feeling of being in a past time grew even stronger as I followed the brothers through the enormous room and into a shadowed, but elegant hallway, one that that looked eerily familiar. I didn't miss Ayato glancing at me from the corner of his eye, a subtle reminder of the way he and I had crept down a hallway just like this one in his memory. Though, even in his memory, the hallways had somehow felt familiar too.  
  
Music and the muffled sound of voices reached my ears as we walked through an archway and entered into what I assumed was a sort of antechamber. The room was another empty, expansive area, with more pillars and sconces centered around the largest set of wooden doors I'd ever seen. The etched mahogany was artwork in and of itself, sculpted into smooth scenes that made me think of St. Peter's Basilica.  
  
Reiji approached the doors and the echos of instruments and people grew quiet, ominously fading away as if they'd been sucked into a vacuum -- as if the people behind the door had sensed our presence.  
  
An odd feeling crept up my back, a sense of foreboding only made worse as I glanced back at Subaru, a dark scowl strewn across his face. My eyes filtered to the others, registering their tense muscles that seemed to increase the thick apprehension in the air.  
  
_They fear their father too._  
  
Earlier in the dining hall, I’d felt the ripple across the room when Reiji discussed the Vampire King’s power. It chilled me to the core, knowing there was someone _they_ feared. And that only exacerbated my worry for Akio.  
  
Gulping down a thickness in my throat, I turned my head to the sound of Reiji opening the richly carved wood.  
  
A rush of icy air swept over me as the doors stood wide open. My body, every inch of my skin, visibly shivered. For one insane second, I was reminded of my wedding day, the way the church doors had swung open, revealing my family and friends as they turned all eyes on the me, the bride. I had walked down the aisle in a simple white dress, nervously smiling as Sadao beamed back at me. That was the beginning of what I'd hoped would be a normal, ordinary life, one where we could grow old together, taking joy in simple, everyday things.  
  
But this was nothing like that day. I was not the same sort of bride, not even in the same vicinity as a happy young woman, optimistic about the future and building her own family. And these people now staring at us -- at me -- weren't my friends. They weren't even _people_.  
  
Reiji waved me forward, but the hundreds of predatory eyes that filled the opulent ballroom suddenly pushed an almost agonizing urge to run through my veins. Looking out into the crowd, the vampires leering back were every bit as beautiful as the brothers. They seemed unreal, almost as if I were staring into a magazine cover. But all my senses began prickling with a sharp animal awareness, as if I were a deer peering straight into the lions’ den. I could feel every particle in the air focused on me, every instinct in my body understanding on a primal level that I was small and vulnerable and hunted.  
  
Reiji caught my frantic eyes, evidently sensing my rising panic. He shook his head a fraction of an inch, his features darkened, an incisive warning not to act on the fear making my blood run cold.  
  
Someone’s hand slid across the small of my back, icy fingers hooking protectively on my hip. I blinked up at Ayato as he took a step, nudging me along with him onto the long, red carpet that had been rolled out for us.  
  
I inhaled a deep, shaky breath as Ayato guided me forward, his eyes glaring out at the vampires. I knew that he wasn't comforting me from my fear, that his touch around my waist wasn't one of reassurance. The embrace was possessive, solely for his benefit, not mine. This _was_ the lions’ den, and Ayato was the dominant male protecting his kill while simultaneously exhibiting it, displaying his power for the rest of the pride to see. And I knew what it meant, for Ayato in particular.  
  
But for the moment, that didn't seem to matter to me. His touch shook the pins and needles from my feet, calming the vibrating in my knees. Subaru’s presence on the other side of me added to the effect, and somehow, so did the rest of the brothers. I may have only “bonded” with two of them, whatever that meant, but something told me that all the brothers would stand in the way if any of these other vampires dared to try anything.  
  
With my fear marginally receding, the fog in my vision began to fade, allowing me to at least partially take in the extravagance of the ballroom. Instead of tapestries and artwork, the imposing stone walls had been outfitted with mirrors. The silver panes reflected the hundreds, if not thousands, of candles burning in the elaborate crystal chandeliers that hung high over the dance floor. Dozens of baroque candelabra lined the walls, the mirrors sparkling with their flames, setting off the sculpted gold pillars and Victorian archways bordering the vast room like something straight out of Versailles.  
  
_I didn't realize Hell could be so beautiful,_ I couldn't help thinking, blinking in all directions and trying not to let my mouth hang open.  
  
In the far corner, I glimpsed what appeared to be an entire orchestra of cellos, violins, flutes, and harps. The musicians were all dressed in black suits, eerily resembling the blank-faced familiars that floated in the shadows of the mansion. Their instruments lay in their laps, augmenting the unnatural silence that had fallen over the room.  
  
The fine red carpet was scattered with rose petals, and I felt their soft fronds beneath my heels. The cloth stretched through the center of the dance floor, lined with the hungry, demon eyes that now followed my every movement. They all wore full formal regalia, black tuxedos outlining the occasional silk or satin dress. _Occasional_. It didn't escape my notice that the female vampires were sparse, few and far between. I only hoped that none of them were human -- _desserts_ , as Reiji had horrifically called them.  
  
The carpet met the bottom of a grand staircase where the brothers stopped and looked up. Still immersed in the surroundings, I was the slowest to lift my head.  
  
At the top of the stairs, a large balcony spread across the width of the wall, overlooking the entire ballroom. My heart thumped in my throat when my eyes landed on the golden-eyed vampire seated at the head of the stairs. An ornate, scalloped throne sat beneath him, an equally ornate crown atop his streaming white hair.  
  
Somehow the room became even quieter, a deathly silence that greeted Karlheinz as he stood. The Vampire King seemed to absorb all the air in the room, cloaking his entire presence in authority as he purposefully descended the steps.  
  
“Welcome, my sons,” he announced, his voice controlled and dignified, somehow carrying over the room without sounding booming or echoing, or even threatening.  
  
But though he addressed his sons, Karlheinz's penetrating gaze stayed pinned on me. And it was impossible to pull away from those gilded eyes, their color almost mesmerizing in a hypnotic, terrible way.  
  
Stopping six or seven steps above us, he extended a hand. “And I welcome the newest addition to our household. Kimiko, soon to be a permanent part of the Sakamaki Family.”  
  
It took me a moment to realize he meant me, and that he intended for me to approach him.  
  
Ayato’s hand stiffened at my waist, as if he didn't want to let me go anywhere near his father. And almost imperceptibly, I heard Subaru hiss through his teeth. But even I could see by the hard angle of his jaw, the steel in his expression, that Karlheinz’s commanding presence was not to be ignored, particularly in front of this crowd.  
  
Doing my best not to falter, I collected the ends of my gown and forced my legs up the stairs. Ayato seemed to realize he had no choice and he allowed me to go, his hand slipping off my hip. I couldn't help feeling a sense of emptiness at the loss of his touch, the weight of every eye in the ballroom pushing down heavily against my nerve endings, including Karlheinz's. _Especially_ Karlheinz's.

With each step that brought me closer to the Vampire King's frightening form, I studied his features, gauging his expression. I hoped for a clue to his thoughts, to whether or not he'd hurt my child. But his face was blank and impassive, telling me nothing.  
  
Hesitantly, I stopped just below him and placed my hand in his outstretched one. I shivered, and not just from the chill of his skin that permeated my glove. Raising my arm, he guided me up the step next to him, and I cautiously turned to face the sea of predators.  
  
“Please give my sons’ bride a warm welcome,” Karlheinz said, lifting my hand.  
  
I was almost glad he had a hold of me, because a shudder ripped its way down my spine, so strong my legs nearly gave out. The room began to rotate as the mass of vampires murmured amongst their strange, fluttered sound of applause. But it wasn't the demon faces all fixed on me that made my body want to collapse into a fit of terror.  
  
On the far wall, opposite the massive room, two cages hung in a pair of archways that had hidden them from my view on the red carpet. But now they were high above the heads of the guests, where the horrifying sight was visible from my standpoint on the stairs.  
  
My stomach heaved within my body. The cages were exactly like the one Laito had thrown me in, only this time they each held a prisoner, males that were much larger than my small frame. Both of them were impaled, the spikes driving through their flesh, the blood draining down their limbs. Even from across the ballroom, I could tell that they were vampires -- that they were still _alive_. Agony screamed across their faces, the torture ingrained in the whites of their eyes. But they weren't making any sounds or movements, just frozen inside the cages -- or paralyzed, as Reiji had once done to me.

 _Jesus! How could they do this?!_  
  
Shock and horror and panic beat against the inside of my chest. I wanted to scream too, to shriek and curse, _“What the fuck is the matter with all of you! Somebody help them!”_  
  
The entire room was clapping as if everything was normal, as if they didn't notice, as if they were oblivious to the horrific suffering in their midst.  
  
I opened my mouth to sob, to yell, to shout. To do _something_ to help the trapped vampires, to stop the _madness_ of it. But no sound came out of my lungs.  
  
It was Reiji that once again seemed to sense my skyrocketing distress. He climbed the stairs and took my other hand before I had time to find my voice and release the raw terror and rage gathering in my throat.  
  
“Shall I take her for her first dance, Father?” Behind Reiji’s stoic voice there was a clear threat in his eyes for me to stay calm and composed.  
  
My breath was shaking, throbbing with emotion as Karlheinz nodded his approval, calling for the orchestra to play. I was dimly aware of Reiji leading me down the stairs, of the swarm of vampires separating, giving a wide space for us on the dance floor.  
  
All I could do was stare at Reiji, my eyes locked onto his hard features. I was afraid that if I looked anywhere else I would descend into hysterics. Despite my shock,  the irony was not lost on me -- the irony that the familiar fear of Reiji was keeping me grounded, keeping my knees from crumbling beneath me. He was a fear I knew, a fear I could handle in that moment. And for once, I knew he wasn't going to harm me.  
  
“I did warn you there would be punishments.” Reiji’s voice was low under his breath as he turned and slid a hand behind my waist.  
  
“I - I know. But I - I didn't. . . I couldn't. . .” My tongue felt heavy in my mouth and that was all I could get out. I wanted to say, “I didn't know -- I couldn't _imagine_ \-- that your family was that cruel, at a royal ball, of all things.”  
  
Though, perhaps it was something I should have expected. The surroundings were beyond magnificent, not even fit for something out of fantasy novel. But now I understood that it was a place where beauty and horror coexisted equally, side by side. I should have known their world would be like the vampires themselves: Both beautiful and evil.  
  
Somehow, I managed a garbled, “Why?”  
  
Reiji pulled me to him as the orchestra began to play a slow waltz. I swallowed as he entered my personal space, shivering at the closeness of him.  
  
“Our world is different from yours,” he said simply. “We have our own way of punishing lawbreakers.”  
  
I blinked at him. _But that's barbaric! It's sick and demented!_  
  
Every ounce of me wanted to shout my horror, but my lungs struggled to expand against the disgust and revulsion squeezing out the air.  
  
The towering vampire lifted my arm, placing my trembling hand on his shoulder, and taking my other in his. "Now, just follow my lead and keep yourself _composed_ ,” he whispered tersely.  
  
The crowd around us gathered into couples, their stares and murmuring drifting away from me and Reiji as they started dancing in time to the music. But each hair on my skin still stood on end, my body understanding that I was still hunted, that all of them hungered for my blood. My muscles were so tense, I feared they'd collapse under the strain, my lungs not supplying enough oxygen.  
  
“Breathe,” Reiji commanded softly as he began to move my body with his.  
  
My skin was keenly aware of Reiji's proximity, like a frigid electric current icing my bloodstream. If he and I had been alone in a room and he pulled me close like this, I might've dropped into a panic, fighting against his terrifying touch. But, instead, I found myself obeying his command, the same command I'd given myself earlier.  
  
_Breathe._  
  
My lungs inhaled the crisp scent of him, letting that preferable fear fill my mind and overtake the horrifying images in the back of the room.  
  
Something else within me wanted to turn my head in hopes that I could find Subaru or Ayato. I was disturbed to suddenly notice that I longed for _their_ protective arms around me, to stave off any fear at all -- preferable or otherwise. But I was afraid that if I looked away from Reiji, my eyes would land on something I couldn't bear to ever see again, and I would lose the parts of myself that I was barely managing to keep together.  
  
_Breathe._  
  
The music flowed off the high ceilings, and I forced myself to focus on the rhythm.  
  
_One-two-three, one-two-three._  
  
_I'm not in a demon dimension where they are torturing people right here in front of everyone._  
  
_One-two-three, one-two-three._  
  
“You know how to dance?”

The question was more of a statement, a mix of interest and surprise behind Reiji's eyes as my body kept in time with his.  
  
But anguish clutched my throat at the realization that my legs were effortlessly gliding beneath me, my feet still remembering how to waltz.  
  
My voice came out ragged as I pushed it through the tightness in my vocal cords. “I took a ballroom dance class in my second year of university. It was an elective.”  
  
That was where I had first met Sadao. After we married, we’d spent many nights laughing and dancing in our living room, quiet nights, just the two of us, before Akio was born.  
  
Thick, bitter tears swelled in my eyes, but I shoved them back, refusing to let them fall. Even if the vampires hadn't torn me out of that life, those memories were still a wash. Sadao had still left me.  
  
Reiji’s eyes narrowed, watching my every move like a chess master on a gameboard. “Yes. You are educated. I had nearly forgotten. Since you obviously do not learn with any sort of efficiency.”

My shoulders tensed beneath his scrutinizing gaze. "What do you mean?" I asked unsteadily.

“You _still_ do not understand your status here.” Reiji’s voice took on a grim note. "You are prey. And you need to remember it. What do you think prey can do against us, against the Vampire King? What did you imagine you would have accomplished a moment ago if you turned to my father and acted on your impulses? Did you lack the intelligence to think that through?”  
  
My feet nearly stumbled on his as those words fully registered in my mind. The sight of those cages had made me abandon rationality, and if Reiji hadn't stepped in when he did, I might not have been able to control myself, not with the horror of it overwhelming me. And I didn't want to think about what their father might've done had I reacted in panic.  
  
I leaned my head back and looked into Reiji's red eyes, their sharpness staring back at me as the room whirled behind him.  
  
“Thank you,” I found myself saying, surprised as the words left my mouth. “Thank you for stopping me when you did.”  
  
I knew Reiji hadn't done it out of concern for my safety. He was simply protecting his family from embarrassment. And I knew he didn't deserve any of my gratitude after everything he'd put me through, after his own brand of _punishment_ that he'd inflicted on me. But that knowledge didn't stop the grateful feeling flowing through my limbs.

But Reiji was wrong about one thing. I _had_ accepted my status as prey. And as such, I should have known there wasn't anything I could have done to help the trapped vampires.

Reiji scoffed low in his throat. “I should not have even needed to do such a deplorable thing. You obviously still need far more intensive training.”  
  
I quickly tore my gaze away from him, fixing it on his chest before the look on his face could suffocate me.  
  
_I also should have known better than to give him any kind of thanks._

But yet, despite the heavy fear he suddenly induced, a vague feeling rattled somewhere around the outer area of my mind. . .

_This isn't the first time Reiji protected me tonight._

The jewels in my hair, the gloves on my arms -- both were meant to ward off the other vampires, to guard me against them.  
  
_They're even his mother’s things. . . his mother who was killed. . ._

A pang of sympathy tugged through my terror of the vampire. My eyes slowly found their way back to Reiji's face as he gracefully steered me in circles. His skill with the waltz was stunning; I suspected he could make me look like I knew how to dance even if I had never done so. For a long moment, I studied his striking features. My eyes followed the dark hair that fell softly against his harsh, pale cheekbones. The contrast seemed to mirror the vampire himself. He'd hurt me, tortured me, terrified me -- immeasurably so. But he'd also protected me, even saved my life against Kanato.  
  
_He just sees you as a valuable object, nothing more,_ my argumentative consciousness whispered to me.  
  
But then. . . why had he reacted so erratically -- so cruelly -- when he'd walked in on me with Shuu?

I couldn't help wondering. . . was Reiji like his brothers? Did he force me to feel pain because he couldn't deal with his own?  
  
My chest ached, my lashes fluttering. I didn't know what to make of this vampire. One moment he was the thing grounding me from the evil blanketing the air, the next he was reminding me of the evil that resided within _him._  
  
“Do you have something you wish to say?” Reiji asked, breaking through my confusion.  
  
Frightened with myself, I shook my head, trying to shake off this warped part of my psyche, the part that wanted to look for -- latch onto -- any sort of decency in my captors. No, Reiji was heartless, the embodiment of ruthlessness. And I had nothing to say to him, not just because of the way he'd hurt me, but because none of this even _mattered_. 

Gritting my teeth around my irrationality, I forced myself to focus on what I was here for. “I was just wondering what happens now. When do I meet with your father?"  
  
Reiji's narrowed eyes gave me a long look from under his glasses before his gaze briefly lifted to the balcony. "My father will give you an audience when he is ready. Prey does not have a say in the matter."  
  
Unwittingly, my eyes followed his, and I immediately regretted turning my head. Karlheinz was watching intently as Reiji skillfully led me through the ballroom.  
  
My stomach recoiled. But I made myself stare back, letting the Vampire King see the determination in my eyes.  
  
_How long is he going to make me wait? I don't even get a say in when I can talk to him about my son?_  
  
I pursed my lips against the powerlessness of my situation. I couldn't save the vampires in those cages. I couldn't save myself from my fate. And I wasn't even entirely sure I could save my own child.  
  
I was prey. Totally, utterly, powerless prey. 

A rush of spite bled through my fear and aimed at Reiji. "How do you know I'll always be prey? You don't even know exactly what I am or what plans your father has for me. What if he turns me into a vampire too? I wouldn't be prey then, would I?"  
  
Even as I spat out the words, I recognized the ridiculousness of them. Whether that tome was true or not, it was clear that my blood was power to the vampires -- an endless source of it. Somewhere in the back of my subconscious, I'd already guessed what Ayato and Richter had meant when they said I wouldn't be "awakening." No, they weren't planning on changing me. Even if they didn't know exactly what I was, I knew they would never allow me to be on the same level as them. Not when they could subjugate me, using my blood for their gain.  
  
And Reiji knew it too. His body hardened under my fingertips, his expression sharpening into an edge that sliced through me.  
  
"Do you feel these arms around you?" His fangs glinted, crushing my spark of anger as his hand on my back pushed me in closer.

_Oh god. . ._

All at once I gasped as his hand tightened around mine and he spun me around. My gown flared around my legs as Reiji swung my back into his chest. His terrifyingly soft voice whispered against the outer rim of my ear. "Do you remember shuddering under my power? Do you remember how you _begged_ for relief?”

A muffled whimper gathered inside my throat. That night was forever etched into every cell in my body.  
  
“Perhaps you shouldn't have been so surprised to see those punishments up there." Reiji’s fingers came around my front and angled my chin upwards. 

Bile climbed into my throat, making me choke on my renewed horror as he let the unspoken threat hang in the air, just like the revolting cages.

I tried to twist away, but Reiji held firm, his cool breath touching the loose wisps of my hair. “You understand what happens to those who defy us. And yet, you still choose to test your master?”  
  
That word shivered over me. _Master_. And so did the truth in it -- the truth I was supposed to have already accepted.  
  
"I thought I was going to be your _wife_ ," I whispered recklessly, fighting to keep the tremors from my voice, hoping he couldn't see how much he was frightening me.

"Wife? Yes, you are our bride. But you will _always_ be prey. Do not make the mistake of forgetting that.”

Reiji spun me around again, never missing a beat with the music as he pulled me back into his arms and into the waltz.

My heart raced in my chest. There was something slightly off, something different in the way he moved. His steps were a little less controlled, a hint less fluid. I felt a vibration under his skin, saw a dark light behind his eyes.

“However, you enjoy being prey, don’t you? You _enjoy_ being bitten." His sickeningly amused chuckle rubbed against my flesh, his throat moving slowly as his eyes roved down my neck.

I wondered with growing terror if his pretense at control was beginning to wear thin. It had been several days since he’d attacked me, since that night he’d lost control.

How long could he resist the effects of my blood? Would he lose control here?

Reiji’s hair fell across my chin as he leaned into my neck, his breath stirring along my pulse, making me tremble. “I remember the way your body turned hot, the way you _gave_ yourself to me. Did you think I couldn't taste it? That flavor in your blood when the pleasure takes over?”

I blinked in surprise despite my fear. He could _taste_ the euphoric feeling in my veins?

"That isn't by _choice,”_ I grimaced, my voice coming out tight as I tried to lean away from him. “Isn't that the Hunter in my blood?” I had assumed that wretched pleasure was part of the painkilling, something akin to the effects of morphine.  
  
Reiji's face came even with mine, his brow lowering. “Mind the volume of your voice. Hunters are not appreciated in this realm.”  
  
I risked a quick glance around us. The sound of skirts fluttering in perfect synchronization to the orchestra twirled around us, but the ball and its participants no longer seemed to pay us any attention. Even Karlheinz’s eyes were turned in conversation with someone else.    
  
Reiji's hushed voice took on an arrogant twist. “But, no, Hunters do not feel _pleasure_ from a vampire bite. They heal quickly from our saliva, and the analgesia allows them to continue in a battle. Otherwise they'd be as useless as ordinary humans." His lip lifted at one corner in a malicious smirk. "They certainly do not _lose_ themselves in it the way you do."  
  
The fact that the euphoria wasn't something related to the Hunter in my blood did make more sense, from a biological standpoint: Of course a Hunter couldn't fight a vampire if they were incapacitated with pleasure.

But Reiji’s words still made my teeth clench together in disgust. I hated that pleasure, the way it weakened me against them, made me _give in_ to them. It was just another goddamn thing that made me powerless.

"It's something else then. I don't _enjoy_ a vampire bite,” I hissed.  
  
“Don't you?” Reiji grinned as the music slowed, entering the final measure. “I think your body _knows_ that it is prey. And that it _knows_ who its master is.”  
  
Before I could utter a retort, the orchestra played the last note, and Reiji turned, bending over me. My back arched over his arms, shooting fear down my spine from the way he hovered above me.

I stopped breathing, my entire body sensing that this was not the classic dance move. The gleam in his eyes and the sinister smile on his face told me this was something else.

“I will show _everyone_ who you belong to, so that they know who your master is as well.” Something deeply unsettling pulsed from his voice as he pressed his body to mine.  
  
“No! Reiji, don't --” But he cut off my protests. His hand slid up behind my neck, gripping so harshly that I couldn't move.

Forcing my face back, he exposed my throat. The room churned upside down as my head hung behind me. I shuddered, closing my eyes tight against the swirl of applause that accompanied the end of the dance. Reiji’s fangs grazed along the vein under my skin, and I shuddered even more, my fingers curling into his jacket.  

His teeth drew a slow and steady line on my neck, his chest expanding against me as he breathed in my scent. He held ultimately still for a moment, as if drawing out the moment. It struck me then, that perhaps he wasn't losing control at all -- but instead, showing me exactly who had it.

_Showing me that I'm nothing but prey._

Reiji may have guarded me and protected me, but it was only as a piece of property that he owned.

I bit hard into my lower lip, bracing for the pain of his fangs, and against the knot of emotion sinking in my chest.

"Don't you even fucking dare. She belongs to  _me._ "  
  
A hand closed around my arm and yanked me away from Reiji, just as the orchestra sprung into another song, this time a fast waltz. The room circled around me as if the tall vampire was still leading the dance, but it took my brain a moment to understand that it was Ayato who had ahold of me now.

“Ayato,” I gasped out his name, gripping onto him, almost crumbling against him, needing to hold something solid, something safe.

Glancing back at Reiji, I felt a strange mixture of relief and. . . _guilt?_ I could see Reiji’s jaw tightening so hard it seemed it might snap, and my chest knotted even tighter, though I couldn't have said why.

Before I had time to comprehend my own feelings, icy fingers squeezed around my neck. My breath lodged in my throat as Ayato forced my face back to his, his eyes flashing.

“You belong to _me_ ,” he repeated, his fangs bared.

The ballroom and all the whirling bodies faded to black as a cruelly familiar pain suddenly scorched into my throat -- the pain of Ayato ripping into his bite mark.

A split second was all it took for me to realize how stupid I had been. Whether it was a binding spell making me feel safe with Ayato and Subaru, or my own sick longing for protection after everything I'd suffered, it didn't matter. Either way, it was an empty delusion, one that had so easily made me forget that Ayato was no different than the others. They were all the same as this place they called their world. Both beautiful and terrible.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know it's taking me forever to get Sayuri to Karlheinz, and checking on little Akio. I'll get there I promise! As I figured, my pace is going to be slow with this part of the story too (＞＜). But you know what, I'm ok with it xD. I'm moving along in the way I want to. There is so much I want to explore with emotions and lore and plot that I don't want to rush it just because I'm on 43 chapters. If this turns out to be 100 chapters, then so be it (^ ^)
> 
> I wish I could at least update faster, but my update speed just is what it is. I don't want to over pressure myself either, or my beta, since we are both very busy trying to be adults. Plus I've been working on my art, now that my wrist is cooperating, so that takes up some of my free time as well. However, my wrist does still hurt from time to time, so I have to take breaks too, sometimes for a week or more. Here's my art blog if anyone is interested: gins-art.tumblr.com
> 
> I doubt I'll have another chapter up before Christmas, but I do at least have the next one started xD. So, happy holidays to everyone and I hope you enjoy whatever holidays you celebrate (^ ^)
> 
> ***
> 
> Notes about this chapter: I took a lot of liberties describing the castle and the passageways. None of that is canon since there wasn't a lot of detail about the castle in the demon realm. But I have seen a CGI of the outside and it's quite an elaborate palace. I thought it was interesting that the demon realm seemed to be a beautiful place, and I wanted to focus on that in this chapter, and compare it to the vampires themselves. Evil isn't always "ugly". I think we grow accustomed to stories where the bad guys are gnarly and gross, and evil places are horrible and dark and depressing, like Mordor or something. But just as often, evil is found in deceivingly beautiful places. Don't ever let appearances fool you. Darkness and evil often do coexist together with goodness and beauty. Usually people aren't solely one or the other. And I think the vampires are the same.
> 
> As for the dimensional barrier, that is something I don't really understand. In the game, there's a door under the mansion that leads to the demon realm. But there is also some place in the woods where they can cross over, and its totally invisible and you don't even know it's there. So that's why I kinda did a mixture here. It's underground but invisible xD.
> 
> The inspiration for Reiji showing everyone whom she belongs to does come from his route in HDB. And so does Ayato's. In both their routes, they drink the heroine's blood on the dance floor as a show of power. Power and control are main themes in this story, and I wanted to keep those themes maintained in this chapter too. 
> 
> Reiji also calls himself her master in his More Blood drama CD.
> 
> The cages are not canon, but Karlheinz does have a dungeon cell where he stores all his torture collectibles, and he's known for his punishments. So I thought it would be fitting for him to do something like that :o)


	44. Reiji

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Reiji's pov as he struggles to keep control of his bloodlust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone has a lovely start to the new year ♡♡. I wasn't intentionally holding onto this chapter to release today, it just worked out that way lol. But I'm glad it did, so you guys get New Years Day gift ♡♡

* * *

 

 

The violins and flutes floated in perfect harmony with the harps and cellos, but the sophisticated sound was entirely at odds with the violence brimming inside me.

Every animal instinct that I kept locked far beneath the surface was livid with the desire to lash out and snatch the woman back from Ayato. My fingers clenched into my palms, drawing blood as I maintained everything within my power to resist the urge. I would _not_ be diminished to fighting my brother in front of our subjects -- nor our father -- like savage beasts tearing apart a prey.

But Ayato, of course, did not possess the same restraint. Indeed, he wasted not even a second to rip into her throat, furiously spilling the woman’s blood down her neck.

The scent quickly rippled across the ballroom, burning through the air and into my nostrils, down into my lungs. Almost immediately, the atmosphere sharpened as the guests too caught the inebriating smell.

Predictably, Ayato grinned, that ridiculous triumph which declared he felt it as well -- felt their bloodlust for her. The music continued to play and the participants continued to dance, but their steps were offbeat, their eyes darting to her in hunger. And that was exactly what Ayato wanted.

Because that's what _I_ had wanted.

My limbs shaking, it took all of my determination to turn and walk away. My jaw was tight with the knowledge that I could not battle Ayato even if I sought to do so. He had taken her from the cell earlier that morning, when it was _I_ who had obtained the key from our father. He had taken the key from me, then taken _her_.

And  _defiled_ her.

Now that self-obsessed wretch had full retention of the power in the woman’s veins.

The _woman_.

Despite the potent cocktail of fury and hunger searing through me, some distant part of my mind recognized that my own term for our sacrificial bride had changed. Yes, she was no longer a _girl_ in my eyes, no longer simply _prey_. She was a rare specimen, a priceless work of art. If her ancestry proved to be true, then Father had pieced her together himself, creating something truly precious -- indeed, even mythical, if a Seraph origin somehow managed to be authentic.

_And such an artifact is not designed for exploitation by the likes of my siblings._

Pushing angrily through the crowd, the gnawing ache in my fangs escalated to painful proportions. My head battered my skull, the candles flickering in the mirrored walls amplifying the agony, making the room whirl faster and faster in my mind.

By the time I reached the hospitality corner on the outskirts of the dance floor, my breathing had turned jagged, my hair clinging to my neck in sweat. I promptly seized a glass of champagne from a servant’s tray, gripping the glass so tightly I was astonished it did not shatter.

From my peripheral vision, I glimpsed my father’s brother eyeing me suspiciously from his usual place in the shadows. Unwilling to engage that disgraceful louse in my present condition, I quickly made my way to the opposite corner from Richter.

Turning to the wall, away from prying eyes, my trembling hands produced a small bottle from my coat pocket. In one swift movement, I uncorked it with my thumb and poured the contents in the glass. Throwing back my head, I drained the mixture in a single swallow.

After that disconcerting episode with the woman in my study, my time had been devoted to experimenting with my potions. I’d managed to concoct a serum that would lessen the thirst for her blood, at least for a short time. Combined with alcohol, I hoped the effects would be stronger. I _despised_ the need for such assistance in controlling my urges, but for now, I accepted it as a necessity.

Easing a hand against my temple, I forced my eyes to remain open despite the throbbing behind them. The room was a remorseless blur around me, but after half an arduous minute had elapsed, the hunger minimally began receding, my vision beginning to refocus.

But I knew the effects would not last long.

 _I should have drank from her before, in Mother’s room_.

I had foolishly been caught up in my own desire to challenge the extraordinary red essence under her skin. Now I understood the idiocy behind my actions.

Yet the thought only made my hands begin to tremble even more, shaking with an additional anger. She may be a rare gem, but I did not relish the hold her blood had over me. And apparently the longer one abstained, the more ravenous the hunger became.

Ayato had been the first to experience the extent of that hunger. The night she'd caused me to lose my senses, he had stormed into my study, carrying on about multiple attacks and blood which tasted like ash.

To my dismay, Ayato had proved to be correct. Not only did abstaining from her increase the thirst, so did feeding from other prey. My lips flattened in disgust, recalling the abhorrent flavor of the young woman I'd sampled in the local library. Not even my most vile potions made me choke the way that prey had.

Afterwards, I'd worked overtime developing my serum, testing its effectiveness on both Ayato and myself. But, while I felt the hunger minimize, to my utter surprise, it had no effect whatsoever on Ayato. He had been in my laboratory every night, drinking every available concoction as swiftly as I could brew them.

His hunger had soon transformed to a raging obsession; he was consumed by the thirst  -- and of ridding himself of it.

 _Until this morning._ I thought bitterly of the message my familiars had relayed, detailing their filthy _coupling_ in the mausoleum.

Lightheaded, I leaned a shoulder against the wall, mustering all my power not to bend at the waist and scream in desperation. Her scent was thick in the air, permeating every nook and hollow, but I was determined not to allow it to influence me the way it had Ayato.

However, to my bewilderment, the potion seemed to be less effective for me now, with her blood spilling out. Perhaps when it was contained inside her veins, the pull was easier to resist.

_Though, even when her cheek split open earlier this evening, it didn't hollow out my insides this severely. . ._

“What the fuck’s the matter with you?”

My youngest brother’s familiar growling voice approached from my side. I opened my eyes -- not realizing I'd even closed them -- to find Subaru regarding me, his hands balled into fists, his muscles tensed.

“Nothing,” I replied, straightening myself from the wall and adjusting my glasses, a sense of loathing stirring within me at the sight of him. “I am pleased to know that you are remaining civil, and not causing a _scene_ ,” I said, my voice a curt edge as I nodded toward the dance floor where Ayato was somewhere amongst the mass of dancers, parading his juvenile behavior.

Subaru grimaced. “I’ll fuck him up later. I don't need _that man_ punishing me for that shit here. And I'll fuck you up too if you break my goddamn neck again.”

“That was for your own safety, and ours,” I replied, crossing my arms over my chest, masking the tremors still evident in my hands. “You were unresponsive to my potions, and resistant to _reason_ , if you recall.” 

Subaru’s eyes narrowed, but he gave no indication that he detected anything was amiss. He paused for a long moment before he leaned closer, his voice lowered. “I want to know what's going on, Reiji. What’s _really_ going on, not what you told everyone.”

“I'm quite sure I do not know what you mean.” Keeping my eyes level, I struggled to swallow, desiring nothing more than for my volatile sibling to leave my presence whilst I awaited the potion’s full effect.

_It seems to be taking far longer than usual. . ._

“You fucking _know_ what I mean.” Subaru’s lip lifted in a snarl.

With a calmness that was entirely contrary to the thirst and anger simmering beneath my skin, my shoulders lifted on a sigh. “Subaru, I am no more certain than you, I assure you.”

This, indeed, was the truth. Although the information provided by the ancient text added more pieces to the puzzle than it solved, I tentatively remained in agreement with Laito’s original assessment -- that our Father intended for us to kill one another, with the strongest inheriting the throne. The lengths by which the woman was hidden from us, the panic that Laito had witnessed in the hunter and witch covens, the fact that our father gave her to all of us rather than just one -- all led credence to the theory.

Though, even I had to confess that perhaps my own bias leaned towards this assumption -- because it provided an opportunity of which I'd never before possessed: the opportunity to surpass _Shuu_ as successor.

I nearly smiled in spite of myself.

“I think you're a goddamn liar.” Subaru’s tone deepened on an undisguised threat, breaking me out of my brief reverie.

I attempted to inhale another long sigh of impatience, but the very air itself seemed to be liquefying with her blood, increasing the unbearable dryness in the back of my throat. My voice turned almost rasping as I replied, “Even if I was deceiving you, this is not the place to speak of it. Perhaps we will soon learn more, which we can discuss at a more appropriate time.”

Subaru’s expression twisted, the lines of his face etching with anger. “You mean when she meets with _him_? No. Fuck that. I don't want her talking to _him._ ” 

I raised a cool eyebrow. “I’m afraid that is out of our hands. Father has _required_ her,” I stated emphatically, irritated by his illogical behavior. Indeed, despite the relentless thirst, I succeeded in registering what appeared to be _actual_ concern in my brother’s features. It was, no doubt, evidence of the bond he had unfathomably formed with her.

I was utterly confounded that a woman of her poise, of her maturity, had bonded with _him._ An educated woman, one with the extraordinary fortitude to mentally and physically survive both my particularly special punishments _and_ a full moon with my siblings. . . what could she possibly have seen in my miscreant brothers? And bound to more than one at that? Something that was entirely unheard of?

Unable to resist a derisory sniff, I looked Subaru up and down. The ludicrous bond only cemented the idea in my mind that our Father must have modified the spell. Or perhaps some other force was at work within her mysterious blood. I simply refused to acknowledge that they _actually_ bonded.

My brows pulled tighter together as I glared at Subaru, the pulsing headache intensifying behind my eyes.

“I don't trust _that man_ with her,” he said, his eyes barely more than dark slits. “I don't trust that he won't do something to her, or that he hasn't fucking done something to her kid.”

My mouth was drying more by the second, along with my thinning cloak of composure. "That is unlikely," I managed, hoping Subaru would turn around and leave if I assuaged his fears. “Father has no reason to harm her. And you are fully aware of his strict prohibitions against the harming of human children and families.”

A flicker of something moved in my chest as my gaze subconsciously turned upwards to the cages at the far end of the room. Father doled out harsh punishments for such transgressions, as they called too much attention to our species. I felt a burdened sense of relief that he had never learned of _that_ _boy_ and the source of his demise -- nor of Mother's.

_Both of which the woman has reminded me of tonight. . ._

Neither had entered my thoughts in decades. But discovering Shuu with her earlier that night, the manner in which her hands held him, as if she were _voluntarily_ embracing him, brought back all the memories I had firmly locked away.

A fresh wave of pure, glowering anger flooded through me. She absolutely would _not_ desire _Shuu_. I would not allow her to be squandered the way Shuu had squandered everything else. He threw away his responsibilities, his position, everything Mother and Father had given him, all to waste it in childish _play_ with a _human_. And then only to fritter it away like a slovenly heap of rubbish.  

 _Shuu_ did not deserve a power like her. And he certainly did not deserve the _throne_. In fact, none of them did.

Pain squeezed my eyes shut for a moment as suffocating hunger contracted around my chest along with the anger, making it difficult to breathe. My fangs ground together, catching my bottom lip. The taste of my own blood on my tongue collided with the aroma of hers, abrading my throat like a ripsaw. 

My senses were further assaulted with Subaru’s voice as he refused to part company. “But her kid isn't exactly human, right?”

My eyes conveyed volumes about how much I needed Subaru to leave, that I no longer had the patience for this witless conversation. My lungs were clogged with her scent, thickening around me until I could scarcely comprehend his words. My legs were near shaking with the desire for her, so potent it was like a living thing inside my body, a writhing, aching _need_.

At this juncture, I knew I was descending rapidly into a maddened state -- and that my potion was clearly not going to take full effect this time. I excused myself, realizing that I urgently required fresh air. “We’ll discuss this at another time,” I grit out, pivoting from Subaru.

But he abruptly clutched my arm, unnoticing of my condition. “I'm not letting her talk to  _him._ I’m taking her back to the mansion.”

With a blistering scowl, I hissed at his tightened grip on my limb. But before I could utter a reply, everything around me both fiercely sharpened and stalled at the same time. The woman was closer, so near in proximity that I virtually felt her heart beating against my chest.

Roughly jerking my arm from Subaru, I turned -- only to have a red haze descend over me, a violent fury that soared through my bloodstream.

Ayato was leading her around the dancefloor, and they'd made their way to the outer edges near where I now stood. My brother’s face was in her neck, his fangs once again at her throat. But it was the sight of _her_ that enraged me.

With eyes closed and lips parted, her arms were clutched around my callous sibling, infallibly holding on, embracing him, embracing that _pleasure_ she had so vehemently denied enjoying.

My nostrils flared with the scent of her arousal in the air, boiling away what remained of my calm exterior.

I did not tolerate _lies_.

My mind was cognizant of nothing but the ferocious hunger and anger seething in my veins as my long strides consumed the short distance between me and them. I would not suffer that expression on her face, _not_ towards my lecherous brothers. _She_ would not ignore me or cast me aside. Only one woman had ever done that, and I would not allow it to happen again. Never.

Blinded by my fury, I could only imagine one thing: the rich, warmth of her blood coating my tongue as I tore her open. My fangs would burrow into her silky flesh; I would revel in her cries as she begged for mercy. I would string her body up, whip her, discipline her, until she confessed that she was mine. And then I would take her, all of her, until every part of her belonged to _me_.

And then the kingdom, too, would be mine.

My fingers wrapped around her slender upper arm before I was even conscious of reaching for her. With a snap of my wrist, I pulled her into me, relishing the feel of her pulse through my coat.

"What the fuck!" Ayato ground out 

Acting on pure, unbridled instinct, I shoved him with one hand and held tight to her with the other.

"Reiji--!" she started, but I had already closed my eyes, wasting not even a second to utilize the magic the demon realm provided and teleporting to a random empty room before Ayato could react.

Deeply inhaling the air, I reveled in the way her heart beat faster, filling the dark library with her intoxicating red fragrance. She stumbled backwards, gasping, her eyes round with fear and confusion.

“Reiji?” she breathed, her gaze darting around the sudden, pressing silence as I allowed her to back away in fright. “What happened? Where are we?”

I stood perfectly still and silent, my vision black around the edges as I watched her every move from beneath my brows. Small fractals of light flickered from a high window above us, creating almost a halo around her head as the beams shone in my mother’s jewels. There was only one other time those sapphires and diamonds had been worn, and the woman whose head they'd rested upon had not once turned her gaze to me. Her eyes had only been for Shuu. _Always_ for that good-for-nothing.

But _this_ woman would not turn from me. Not for Shuu, not for Ayato, not for _anyone_ but me.

Savage, primitive emotions fumed under my skin as my pupils dialated, honing on the blood draining down her chest from two puncture wounds in her neck. The liquid glistened like rubies, staining the deep blue of her gown with an intricate, mesmerizing pattern. The sight coaxed my tongue to glide along my fangs, eager for the feel of her power in my veins, eager for her to know her place as prey, to _know_ her master.

Taking a slow, careful, predatory step toward her, my lips curled in malicious anticipation.

“Reiji. . . Reiji, you aren't yourself.” Her voice was shaking, a lovely tremble as she took a long, seductive swallow around her words. “I know you don't want this. You don't want to lose control.”

Instantly, I was before her, sneering as I grabbed her face and pushed her back against the wall. “I don't believe you know a _thing_ about what I want. You are prey. And you are _mine_. I will punish you until you never forget that.”

Her heart gave a jolt that pounded through me, like a brutal hammer against my head, drumming down into my jaw. Every part of my being was hyperaware of every part of hers. Her flowery scent, the warmth of her skin, the shallow rhythm of her breath, the way she shook under me -- all of it swallowed me whole, until there was nothing else left but the thirst and the need.

“It's my blood doing this to you,” she whispered meekly, her face paled, highlighting the fragile delicacy of her features. “Remember, Reiji? You said it comes at a cost.”

“No,” I growled, unrecognizing of my own voice. “Your blood just brings out what’s already there.” My mouth lowered to her ear, deep and rasping and hungry. “I’ve _always_ wanted to hear you beg for mercy as you shudder beneath me. Last time I went too far, leaving you unable to speak. This time, I'll learn how far I can punish you until you’re pleading and crying for me.”

She shivered against me, and I groaned, pressing my hips to her as the ache of lust blended with the hunger. My quivering lips met her neck, my breathing ragged with greed.

“You can fight it, Reiji. Please. Please fight it.” Her voice brimmed with fear and tears.

But it was the sudden softness of her gloved hand on my face that seared my skin.

The room spun, and I pulled back, a moment of something unrecognizable reaching through the mindless thirst.

But a shadow on the wall moved, alerting me only milliseconds before she screamed out, “Ayato, no!”

Pain slammed into my back before I could react. My glasses flew off my face as my body sailed through the air and shattered through a bookcase. Heavy tomes fell around me, mixing with the crushing fists that began fracturing my bones.

“You think you can fucking take her from me?! Hah?!” Ayato’s voice rang with the sound of my nose breaking, a crack splitting through my skull.

“Ayato! Stop it!”

Her screams of anguish whirled around me as my vision turned black, combining with his grunts of fury and my own splatters of blood. I attempted to gather my wits, find some manner in which to defend myself. But my brother was far too astonishingly fast, tearing into me with such speed I could not even draw breath.

“Ayato! The fuck!”

Subaru’s voice came next, from somewhere in the black distance, but it did not alter the sickening crack of bones, the paralyzing force of my sibling's vindictive fervor.

“You always think you're better than us! You aren't shit!”

Each word accompanied a blow that vibrated through my body, each more painful than the last. My own blood choked in my lungs as they collapsed in a sea of pain, a red tide that surely would drown me.

As my body strained for air, with the darkness and torment consuming my being, a vision of my mother made its way back to me.

 _"Reiji?" she gasped in pain, gurgling as the blood drained from her mouth. "You. . . you did this?"_  
  
_My eyes narrowed as I stopped and looked down at her, laying in the dirt, where she would soon return. Remaining silent and dispassionate, I registered the dark liquid pouring from the Hunter's silver bullet that had pierced a hole through her heart. I had stood at the outer edges of the forest, watching as the man I hired had taken the shot._

_She met my eyes, and to my utter bewilderment, my mother's bloodied lips turned upwards -- in a smile._

_"I. . . I knew you. . . would be the one to kill me." Her face creased as she managed a laugh between violent coughs and sputters. "I always knew. . . your ability. . . I'm so happy. . ."_  
  
_Something snapped in my chest, a vicious pain in my sternum, an anger unlike any other eating me from the inside._  
  
She is happy? No! This cannot be!  
  
_"Reiji. . . my son. . ." With a bubble of crimson flowing down her chin, I watched, stunned, as the moment I had long planned for came to pass. Her body softly shuddered, releasing its last breath._  
  
_Rage. My stance was deceptively calm as a gentle breeze fluttered strands of her blonde hair, her blue, unseeing eyes still on me. But inside my body, sheer rage exploded like a volcano. This was unforgivable! I had intended for her to die in agony and shock, not in peace, with a smile upon her wretched face!_  
  
I could hear gagging, but it was not the pain in which I had desired my mother to choke on. And the crack in my sternum was not from the remembered fury; it was my own chest crushed beneath powerful fists. My mind wrenched back to the present, where I convulsed in the suffering I had wished to see in Mother.

I heard my pelvis crumble under Ayato’s foot, more ribs fracturing in half, brutally piercing my inner organs.

Hours seemed to crawl by, filled with blood, pain, and screams of anguish. Though if the screams were the woman's or mine, or perhaps those I had so hoped to hear from my mother, I couldn't quite discern.

“Son, that's enough.”

At the sound of his voice, I wondered if I'd been propelled into another vision. But then I felt the deep pummels to my body cease, followed by a scuffle of movement and curses as the sensation of Ayato’s presence lifted away from me.

Gasping and groaning, I attempted to move, feeling bones protruding through skin, blood gushing and pooling around me.

Another sensation followed, a bright light behind my closed eyelids, a squeezing pressure against my skin as everything became quiet.

The floor beneath me shifted, the books and broken wood disappearing. The ringing silence of teleportation lasted only seconds, then gave way to her voice breaking in distress. “Let go of me! Let me help him!”

More scuffles, shouts, and movement of which I could not decipher.

“Shh. . . Reiji, it’s okay.” Warmth pressed against my cheek. I could feel the heat of her body, the pulse of her heartbeat all around me.

I wished to move, to clutch the source, but agony ripped through every cell in my body, keeping me gripped in a state of paralysis.

“Here, Reiji. It's going to be okay,” she murmured in a soft, strangely soothing voice. Something pressed against my fangs, a sudden release of exquisite liquid into my mouth.

A dizzying kaleidoscope of black and crimson obliterated all else in my mind as the sweet ecstasy rushed down my throat. My entire body trembled, and I gave myself over to it, drinking in her taste, her scent, filling with her power, drifting in a place of deep scorching pleasure. I drew her more firmly against me, my fangs pressing down harder into her skin. Blinding desire, breathtaking power, overtook my veins as I devoured her.

“Do you see what is happening?! They're tearing each other apart. . .” Emotion thickened her voice, and it sank heavily into an unanswering silence.

It was only once the pain and disorientation receded, my bones mending, that I became aware of my surroundings. My eyes slowly blinked open, adjusting to light that was brighter than that of the darkened library.

My brothers all stood rigid, looking down as I lay on the floor. Subaru’s arms were barricaded around Ayato’s chest as he glared, squirming in murderous rage. Shuu and Kanato and Laito too stood, surprise written in their features as they took in the scene.

And the woman. . .

She was by my side, tears in her eyes, her wrist extended to me, her hand warm through my bloodied hair as she held me in her lap, against her chest.

I lowered her arm from my mouth and sat up, pulling up my wall of composure and steel as well, my eyes turning hard and cold as I fully processed what had happened.

Another figure moved forward, casting a long shadow over my rapidly healing body. I registered the tall windows behind him, the roaring fireplace, the familiar and ancient, carved furniture -- a room I’d admired since my childhood. The Royal Cabinet.

Looking up, I cleared my expression to match the impassive, golden eyes of the man who had transported us here. The man at the center of all this mystery and chaos.

My father.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes about the chapter: In some of the cds, the brothers have teleported with Yui in their arms. Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe they are only able to do that in the demon realm. And if not, then that's just how it is for my story lol
> 
> The scene with Reiji's mother dying is directly from his route in HDB. Oh, except for the hunter shooting her. It doesn't actually say how the hunter kills her. But they've used silver bullets in other routes so that's why I used it here.
> 
> The thing with Karlheinz punishing vampires that attack human children and families is also a head canon of mine. 
> 
> ... I think that's it for this one. I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Edit: This month (January) is going to be insanely busy for me so I don't think I'll even be able to start the next chapter until next month
> 
> Edit Feb 11th: I still don't know when I'll be able to update. I had bronchitis for a couple of weeks, and now I'm caring for a close family member that has pneumonia. I haven't even started the next chapter yet. Thank you all for your patience (;_;)
> 
> Edit March 23: Hey guys I'm so sorry for the long wait. After getting over sicknesses, I've been insanely busy, and when I get a chance to write, I just can't seem to do it. A lot of my focus has been on my artwork as well, which brings some wrist soreness where I have to take weeklong breaks. But I'm trying to work through my writer's block too, and I appreciate all your patience. Seriously, you guys are the best ♡♡


	45. Author's Note

I always hate doing these author's notes, but I think you guys deserve an explanation as to why it's been over five months since my last update.

This entire year has been chaotic, with my family suffering serious illnesses, including one who had pneumonia for almost two months. Between taking care of my family and myself when I also had the flu for a few weeks, I simply didn't have time or the mental energy to write.

But then several weeks ago, my family was slammed with another crisis, and this is one I'm not dealing well with... My dad passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly.

I was preparing to move out of state to be near him at the end of May. Now, I don't know what I'm going to do.

I'm in some serious emotional turmoil. My life has essentially been turned upside down. I don't have either of my parents now and it's an incredibly lonely feeling to lose them both at a young age. 

With all this uncertainty, it's understandably been very hard for me to write. But I still don't want to give up on this story. This is my baby and it means so much to me. I hope that you all can remain patient with me. I will return to writing. But right now, there's no way I can say when that will be. 

My artwork has been preferable for me to express my emotions, so that's also where my muse is focused right now. gins-art.tumblr.com is where you can find it. I only hope that my writing muse will return soon. 

Thank you all for your support and patience ♡♡

 


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